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#8940
«@MegaFrogg» wow... these spammers sure are subtle
«@MegaFrogg» [%] added [GIVE_ME_UR_PUSSY] (*!*getrjtjty@203.135.12.*) to the Shitlist
#45790
<@jasta> hehe, you know im officially a network admin of a 100% windows network? :)
<@jasta> it's so weird :)
<@jasta> i have no idea what im doing and its great :)
<@jasta> im constantly just sitting around waiting on Windows progress bars and stuff :)
<@jasta> and talking on IRC :)
#311173
<paulguy> Kenya East sounds like a knockoff Kanye West
#300933
< John_D_Home> Sean M is sick, I'm on the phone with (a client), and everyone else doesn't come in for a while
< John_D_Home> Kristoff is in fact our only hope
< Xtoff> I LIEK BURRRRRRITOOOOOSSSS!!!!1
< cputans> he seems like the perfect person to put your hope in
< cputans> yeap
#257924
<Orbixx|Work> We just got hold of a workmate's phone as he went out on a break. We composed an SMS to all his contacts reading:
<Orbixx|Work> "I know your secret. Cant talk now. Chat later."
<Orbixx|Work> 3 replies so far.
<Orbixx|Work> He isn't back yet.
<Orbixx|Work> Brace for impact.
#4202
<kr0ss> some idiot on the radio said dildos are banned in alabama
<X-Spectre> dildos proably were banned like a hundred years ago with some dumb law and they haven't changed it yet
<CiXeL> cant ban broomstick handles
#37037
<sellfone> FUCK U TV
<sellfone> im sitting here
<sellfone> eating steak
<sellfone> with A1 all over it
<sellfone> and they fucking show a tampon commercial
#3110
<putnam> this chinese kid said something so damn funny today on the phone
<putnam> let me give you the exact quote that he said, i will make sure not to make any typos. just picture hearing a chinese thug say this
<putnam> i said "man i'm gonna kick your ass" and he responds with:
<putnam> oh fuck nah...i'm gonna get some brick, and throw it across your window. i'm gonna throw it across your window and burn your bushes.
#9241
<@SwiftEdge> when i get my new comp I can play network games
<@SwiftEdge> but seeing as i have no friends i will have to run fast back and forth between the two
#29837
<ikkenai> if i pull on a clitoris hard enough, will it eventually come out as a huge penis like in hentai
#10264
<lungfish> your job like involved relocation AND gay sex
<Rottencrotch> wuts ur point
<LuftWaffle-away> he didnt want to relocate
#308025
<RoKenn> he's sort of like the community pet, he keeps pooing on the couch, but we're too kindhearted to send him to the animal shelter
#3935
*** Signoff: Morpheus (Connection reset by peer)
*** Morpheus (vanford@host-209-214-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #relax
<Morpheus> argh.. that wasn't my speaker cable
#35545
<flouch> i spilled mt.dew on my crotch
<flouch> now it looks as if i wet myself
<XX01XX> Interesting... because I piss on myself and then tell people I just spilled Mt Dew
<SiFL> which is also interesting because i piss in mt. dew containers and tell peoples its soda
#58208
<Corwinoid> BTW Brain, no I haven't
<WifiBrain> no you havent what?
<Corwinoid> I'm replying to the last thing you said to me
<Corwinoid> a week or so ago
<WifiBrain> i dont remember it
<Corwinoid> That I'd lost my title as the master of delayed response :P
#35726
<AaD-Marine> YAY
<AaD-Marine> its the 1 year anniversery of my BIOS
<AaD-Marine> it just became 1 year old
<AaD-Marine> happy birth day to you MV85010A.86A.0069.P25
<AaD-Marine> HAPPPY BIRTHDAY
#18574
<OlDirtyB> thats why i fuck sheep next to cliffs
<OlDirtyB> they push back
#42283
If English was good enough for Jesus Christ,
it's good enough for us.
- Miriam Ferguson, Governor of Texas
Comment: only in the USA...
#183648
<Colin> Am I the only one who doesn't find the "your mom" business funny, by the way?
<Colin> as a parody of poor insults it might have been funny
<Colin> three years ago
<Colin> but you have been doing it for literally years now :P
<Asimir> I've been doing your mom for literally years now
#61431
<gnarfel> i run linux on my toaster
<gnarfel> granted theres no driver for the heater coils, but the fact that im eating open source toast warms the bread on its own
#311620
<dysk> "Target is bleeping out book descriptions, removing words like 'Nazis' and 'queer'"
<YelseyKing> lol
<YelseyKing> I love overzealous auto-censors.
<dysk> That old joke about **** van **** just continues to stay relevant, doesn't it.
<YelseyKing> Yes.
<YelseyKing> Penis van Lesbian.
<dysk> Except in Target's case, "penis" and "lesbian" would be censored.
<dysk> I mean, one of the censored words was "stripper".
<dysk> Which isn't always about nude performance. Sometimes it's used for a tool (lol tool) that forestry workers use to remove the bark from wood.
<YelseyKing> t**l
<YelseyKing> I totally understand the reason why sites would do that, given that anyone who'd be so easily offended by certain words would be the same ones to throw a huge fit over seeing them.
<YelseyKing> But it doesn't make it any less stupid.
<YelseyKing> My favorite thing is when they censor a word with only a single asterisk. F*ck!
<YelseyKing> Like you can't tell what that says.
<dysk> "Holy sh*t!"
<dysk> And, of course, let's not forget ***an.
<Danika> Satan?
<dysk> (a certain country in East Asia)
<Danika> oh, Japan
<YelseyKing> The best censors are the ones that ignore spaces and punctuation, so you'll get words you didn't even type censored.
<YelseyKing> Like "cut it out" will be censored, because it ignores the space and sees "tit".
<dysk> Or "It's been 20 years since the release of Mariah Carey's hit", and the final four letters would be censored.
<YelseyKing> Yup.
<YelseyKing> Even better is if they're not censored, but replaced.
<YelseyKing> "It's been 20 years since the release of Mariah Carey'fecal matter"
#14648
<pandz>the computer guy at the store told me to flash my bios...i says to him flash this...
#6631
<Hawx> wtf is Scotty
<Shinji> Hawx - ScottyFox, he's in here occasionaly, I used to live with him in Canada.
<Hawx> scottyfox is one letter away from being scattyfox
<Shinji> Hawx - and you're four letters away from being 'fuck'.
<Hawx> :D
#55218
<illgl> ok people.. got something for yall.
<illgl> i've made a drawing of muhammed! bwahaha!!11
<illgl> >:)-<=< .. those are bombs around his waist. let's see now how long it takes before my embassy is burned, my mom raped and my dog eaten
* illgl (~mymail@<xx>.mine.nu) Quit (Ping timeout)
<@greml> wow, that was fast
Comment: abc@defghijklmno.com
#21047
<lav> that's what happens to people caught cheating
<lav> l33t
<Cecil> is that the one where they throw the guy's comp out on the street?