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#305950
<+sutol> I'm in a library so I can't look at porn, and for some reason I'd really like to look at porn atm.
<+sutol> Now I just need a way to fap without anyone noticing
<+sutol> Hard, considering I'm in the front row and shit is pretty open
<@Loskene> can anyone else see your computer screen right now
<+sutol> yes
<+sutol> Everyone behind me can
<@Loskene> .f HEY THIS GUY IS HAVING A WANK
<@DEA> _ _ _______ __ _____ _ _ ___ ____
<@DEA> | | | | ____\ \ / / |_ _| | | |_ _/ ___|
<@DEA> | |_| | _| \ V / | | | |_| || |\___ \
<@DEA> | _ | |___ | | | | | _ || | ___) |
<@DEA> |_| |_|_____| |_| |_| |_| |_|___|____/
<@DEA> ____ _ ___ __ ___ ____
<@DEA> / ___| | | \ \ / / |_ _/ ___|
<@DEA> | | _| | | |\ V / | |\___ \
<@DEA> | |_| | |_| | | | | | ___) |
<@DEA> \____|\___/ |_| |___|____/
<@DEA> _ _ ___ _____ _ _ ____ _
<@DEA> | | | | / \ \ / /_ _| \ | |/ ___| / \
<@DEA> | |_| | / _ \ \ / / | || \| | | _ / _ \
<@DEA> | _ |/ ___ \ V / | || |\ | |_| | / ___ \
<@DEA> |_| |_/_/ \_\_/ |___|_| \_|\____| /_/ \_\
<@DEA> __ ___ _ _ _ __
<@DEA> \ \ / / \ | \ | | |/ /
<@DEA> \ \ /\ / / _ \ | \| | ' /
<@DEA> \ V V / ___ \| |\ | . \
<@DEA> \_/\_/_/ \_\_| \_|_|\_\
<+sutol> rude
#4044
<[Shinji]> Statitics say that 85% of College men mastrubate at least once per day. Hmmm... I'm about due.... I'll be back in 10..
#306898
<KP9000> wheelchairs are awesome when you're not crippled
#308834
Nevermind: About shitty code
Nevermind: There is an hierarchy - WidgetBase - GuiWidget - Rectangle
Nevermind: What do you call a programmer who adds a scroll event handler to Rectangle class, which changes value of a field added to WidgetBase, which is later used in GuiWidget as a text argument to a low leve render code
Nevermind: All this just to make a scrolling text show up over Rectabgle in a single place?
MaxEd: You don't call him anything, he should not hear you coming
#4039
<kapusta> Slut: a woman that fucks everyone. Bitch: a woman that fucks everyone but you...
#70187
<Genocidal> belts are for losers
<Genocidal> :D
<Buck> and for kids who don't listen to their parents
#40797
(4) helf: aaargh!!
(4) helf: word of advice
(4) helf: NEVER laugh while using mouth wash
(4) helf: much pain in nasal region
#23701
Jakefeb3: if i brought a cat in my backback and let it out during finals do you think i would get in trouble
AvatarOfSolusek: which finals?
Jakefeb3: math
AvatarOfSolusek: ...probably not
AvatarOfSolusek: Mrs. J woulnd't care much
Jakefeb3: well if a cat bums outa my backpack dont be suprized
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
AvatarOfSolusek: ok
Jakefeb3: and if fireworks shoot out of its mouth after it comes outa my backpack..... dont be suprized of that either
#67236
<Rewt`> I had you pictured as a big fat puerto rican
<paultech> and I had you down as a skinny indian
<paultech> Good friends we are
#7108
(goosedaemon) someone define "talking out of [a] ass"
(Leper_Mess) goose; you know.. get a donkey, and speak without moving your lips so it looks like the donkey's talking.
#197703
<withnail> well, i suppose that whatever happened, at least i'll always have my memories
<withnail> and by memories i mean naked photos of her
#32755
<mrWoot> porn = getting old
#15579
<enJoy> just the other day
<enJoy> I told Chris "So I hear your girl is pregnant"
<enJoy> he goes "Ya and when I find the dude I'm gonna strangle him"
<[zT]Lunchie> =-0
#14973
<Nija> hahaha i met some girl off the internet once too
<Nija> boy, was she pissed
#42149
<J3anyus> shit, i'm very conservative but god damn, legalize weed
<richo_> if you had weed and alcohol legal
<richo_> and after 2 months
<richo_> asked the population which one should be outlawed..
<richo_> it'd pry be the one that causes daddy to hit you
<richo_> not the one that causes daddy to cook extra kraft dinner
#310054
<@dmd> two old people were arguing over whose car a car was
<@dmd> and one was demonstrating that their key worked
<@dmd> and the other was using the impeccable argument that "it looks like my car"
<@dmd> i was at a stop light so i had to leave
<@dmd> but i assume this was resolved either by the correct party getting in and driving away
<@dmd> or by thunderdome
#2929
<neck> btw... bought an ice cream maker today :)
<qu4ntum> dont you mean a donut maker ?
<Lord-Data> very easy to get those confused ..
<neck> oh hell yeah
<neck> oh crap... it was a donut maker
#6387
<yabba> I fucked a homeless man today
<xsneakerx> was he cute?
<yabba> no.. but he had no shoes... and his feet were clean.
<yabba> I think he may have been jesus.
#6899
<NalezWork> aaw fuck
<NalezWork> I just did a rm -rf blah * instead of a rm -rf blah &
#40752
<WillDeed> god damn I'm smooth
<WillDeed> so I went to 7-11 to buy a pack of smokes
<WillDeed> and the chick starts flirting with me because
<WillDeed> well
<WillDeed> you know
<WillDeed> she pulls down a pack, hides it, and says "sorry, we're out of those *giggle*"
<WillDeed> and I tried to laugh without laughing to show courtesy but to show it wasn't funny
<WillDeed> and it came out as a snort
<WillDeed> and the rest of the transaction was made in silence
<WillDeed> and I kinda ran into the door when I was leaving
<WillDeed> <- smooth
#19290
<justin3> I want a a pet rock shaped as the pope
#5417
<Yusaku> "God dammit mom, why the fuck did you buy me an xbox?" "What, how can you tell?" "Well, that present under the Christmas tree is either a coffee table, or an xbox...I'm hoping it's a coffee table."
#2307
<SyL> and I'm trying to get some work done, and I'm watching the keoki musicvideo and they have all these women that look like that they were in the same room at Rainbow Brite when she exploded and couldn't get all the color off and they're all kissing and stuff, and it's just "distracting" to say the least...
#11418
<SirPrux> My heart bleeds a bittersweet syrup, coating my mind as one would embrace the fury of nuclear fusion with lead.
#39686
<bobsquared> i hate it when i accidentally refresh the page when im half way through reading random bash quotes in case there was a really great one i missed never to see again :(
<Jon> jesus, i'm never speaking to you again. ever.
<Jon> ...not because you're a total fucking nerd... it's because i've felt that too :(