Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#56337
<Mal> I may have made a fatal error in my personal development.
<Wad_Shooter> What'dya mean?
<Mal> OK, so a couple of years ago I graduate, get ready to go to university.
<Mal> And I'm a nice guy and everything, but I'm a bit quiet. Shy, you know?
<Wad_Shooter> Yeah...
<Mal> So I decide to become more of a quick speaker. The kind of guy who's got a good one-liner for any situation. Pretty easy stuff - I started by using a few characters from books, sort of borrowing their mannerisms, and it eventually stuck. I started becoming more talkative, and more outwardly funny.
<Mal> Basically I was just coming out and saying the shit that was going through my head anyway.
<Mal> Problem was, at around the same time I started reading these fucking quote sites - Bash, QDB, you know.
<Wad_Shooter> OK...
<Mal> So I'm still coming out with funny stuff that's going through my head - but now it's like 99% 'your mum' jokes.
<Wad_Shooter> LOL, smooth
<Mal> Shut up, your mum takes it in the arse.
#6217
<b[a]rt> hey guest1!
<Guest1> hi
<b[a]rt> what's up?
<Guest1> male
#302291
<TwoPointOh> ZenGwen: do you get easily offended by references to 9/11?
<ZenGwen> no
<TwoPointOh> okay
<TwoPointOh> i had a great idea for a t-shirt
#1656
<JD> AFAIK, Anubis is the only Egyptian god who is often drawn with an
erect penis.
<JD> Really!
DigiGnðme> I thought they all were.
DigiGnðme> Oh no, that's the Kama Sutra.
#61191
<AwwJeah> I want to fill a super soaker with cheap vodka and spray down other drivers.
<AwwJeah> Then call the police and tell them I think they're driving drunk.
<AwwJeah> Because, seriously, who would believe that story?
#2098
<digidug> i love it when geeks take every chance they get to brag about their hardware
<digidug> so i was lying in my bed and my DUAL ATHLON 2GHZ SERVER was keeping me awake with its 5 SUPER HIGH THROUGHPUT FANS so i went downstairs and played a SPECIAL SUPER BETA VERSION OF QUAKE 3 (FOR WHICH I AM A BETA TESTER) on my PLEXIGLASS-COVERED TRANSPARENT TOWER WITH FIVE INTEL PENTIUM 4'S RUNNING A CUSTOMIZED VERSION OF LINUX
<digidug> so i didn't get much sleep last night
#4809
*** Now talking in #bible
<Synial> Have you ever wondered what JESUS looks like without his skimpy loincloth? WITH advanced technology, we have made a realistic image of the full Jesus! Is he hung like his dad? FIND OUT NOW! FREE XXX PICTURES!!!
#218044
<sward> “I found a box I can reproduce on”
* sward worries
#311057
<Amy> some animals don't have tails, i guess a snake is an example of the opposite
<Amy> where the tail doesn't have an animal
#35458
<elitotaco> a 3 legged dog walks into an old western saloon, walks up to the bar tender and says "I'm looking for the guy who shot my paw"
<Kennef> that joke just made my daughter cry, elitotaco
Comment: from newnet's #fark
#9237
<jixn|breakfast> BRB: Going to Europe.
#20524
<@Exor[B-AFK]> yeah apparently a teacher in britain was arrested. on him they found a pencil, eraser, ruler, protractor and compass. They said he was part of the Al Gebra network, and that he had weapons of math instruction!
<@Exor[B-AFK]> HA HA.
* Exor[B-AFK] shoots self
#22361
<yoda> wouldn't it be easier to go and read the docs on the site?
<rataxis> yoda: dear oh dear. 13 perfectly spelled and punctuated words, when 4 letters would do.
#305511
<thelilnevshow> DAAMMN RIGHT PROUD TO BE CANADIAN! im so canadian even my blood cells are red and white !
#300732
<+Jason_Voorhees> was chatting with a chick on dalnet..wouldnt send me a pic
<+Jason_Voorhees> so i asked her what she likes to do for fun
<+Jason_Voorhees> and she replied eat ice cream
Comment: #iwwf on irc.i-wwf.net
#17288
<rooster> i think it's sad when a family is torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs
#50549
<Hrun> how would a core dump feel?
<rockot> pretty good especially after a big breakfast
Comment: #sdl on irc.freenode.net
#44593
<+Timmy> what is the point of IPs?
<+Timmy> like what can u do with them?
<&Edwards> you use them to talk to computers
<+Timmy> ok
<+Timmy> why not use MSN?
#14838
<IllusionX> Windows 2000 Professional, Service Pack 2 (5.0 - 2195) CPU: 1-Intel Pentium II, 497MHz, 512KB L2 cache Vcore: v Uptime: 2w 1d 1h 16m 53s Resolution: 800x600 32bit 200Hz RAM: Usage: 49/128MB (38.28%) Temps: Time: 00:44:35 Date: 09/07/16502
<abcbooze> whats it like in the year 16502?
<IllusionX> exactly the same as i was just running downstairs and come back..
<abcbooze> apparently they don't speak good english in the future.
#3403
* IZS logs in and delets all potential child porn
<IZS> rm -rf /
#31957
<kotetsu> i just put a suppository up my ass
<Ash> It's a unique feeling, ne? ^_^
<Ash> You shove them in partway, then they just get sucked up like an auto-loading CD drive.
#19856
<drwiii> sorry, recommending FreeBSD is the entire realm of my technical expertise.
#40168
<@Dr4g0n> I have 4 inches to grow and im done with puberty
Comment: Sometimes it's good to specify words like "height"
#32121
<pigeon-mirk> if i was davey, my name would be katarina.
<pigeon-mirk> err, not davey
<pigeon-mirk> russian
#70993
<@TheWickerMan> God damn, this one halloween last year. Some kid came up to our house.
<@TheWickerMan> Now this is the kind of kid who's constantly cursing, throwing fits about nothing, hitting his parents/siblings, complaning about everything, and just acts like an all-around douchebag.
<@TheWickerMan> I gave the kid like 3 fun sized M&Ms and he just yells to me, "NO FAG I WANTED THE TWIX INSTEAD YOU DUMBASS."
<@TheWickerMan> I replied back with "I'm sure your mother didn't want you either, but we can't all have our ways now can we?."