Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#302359
<st0rmb0x> I had an ass cannon moment
<Ka1enov> LOL
<st0rmb0x> You know when you're on the shitter and you just fart but you don't realise you shat 12 feet of shit in half a second
<Ka1enov> yeah man
<Ka1enov> and then when you wipe
<Ka1enov> theres nothing
<Ka1enov> youre are like what the fuck
<st0rmb0x> lol, yeah man, these things are deadly, what if you were to shit down a balcony, i bet you'd be able to break car windshields
<st0rmb0x> Or snipe someone with a turd
<Ka1enov> and walk away with no evidence
<st0rmb0x> The police are like, what the fuck, there's shit everywhere and that guy has a hole in the head
<Ka1enov> and your ass is clean!
#61958
< shad0w1e> hmm sleepydog, you said that reiserfs would only be faster in some "extreme" situations
< shad0w1e> would you consider KDE booting up to be an extreme situation?
#35111
<TLA-Sammybeany> My step-dad told me a story today that cracked me up . . .
<TLA-Sammybeany> We had some of the Shake 'N Bake chicken stuff the other night for dinner . . . apparently he took the leftovers to work for lunch . . .
<TLA-Sammybeany> One of his co-workers, who happens to be black, walked up to him and was like "Damn, yo! You bring fried chicken to work and you don't give me any? What's up wit' dat'?!"
<TLA-Sammybeany> So my step dad said "oh, well, it's only that Shake 'N Bake stuff. It's nothing special." The black dude was like "It's about to be Shake 'N Take if you don't start sharing, man! I'm gonna' shake you until you drop the chicken, then I'll take it!"
#21765
<mom> !eightball clean your room
<NuckleBot> Don't count on it, mom.
#6282
<tertyl> and i've bent a spoon with the power of my mind...though when the drugs wore off..it was back to normal...
#31935
[@cjohnson]: I found out today that I'm only 5'5"
[@cjohnson]: :(
[@cjohnson]: I thought I was like 7'2"
[[DC_T]Rowsdower11]: heh
[@beoba]: what, your height?
[@cjohnson]: ...
@cjohnson]: no, i weigh 5'5"
#11095
<herk> wait'll i put out my hip hop album
<chrissyb0> i can see it now
<chrissyb0> "Im herschel i get all the bitches i want, i can make a
webpage with any font
#11244
<Hippie316> plus i have one of the worlds smallest rooms
<Hippie316> ask dop hes seen my room
<Hippie316> plus he can attest to it being small
<Doppelganger> no I cant
<Doppelganger> oh, you mean the room
<Doppelganger> yeah
#5727
<BloodAngel> I was just trying to find something in my pants pocket- but I didn't know what.
<BloodAngel> [don't start, don't _even_ start!]
<BloodAngel> And then I realized what I was looking for...
<BloodAngel> And proved I'm dumb. :)
<BloodAngel> 'cuz I was trying to find the 2-Litre of Mountain Dew that I set down.
#2164
::: .signoff@1.32p> m|ch (michelle@XX-XX-XX-XXX.ivideon.com); to get over someone old, get under someone new
#106854
<Hanazawa> so it's my mom's birthday on the 26th, and I want to see a band called The Birthday Massacre on the 27th, so my schedule looks like "mom's birthday / birthday massacre?"
<Cecil_Harvey> :I
<Hanazawa> and this amuses me
#118721
ElGarlic: Spending your life waiting for the messiah to come save the world is like waiting around for the straight piece to come in Tetris.
ElGarlic: Even if it comes, by that time you've accumulated a mountain of shit so high that you're fucked no matter what you do.
#4767
<aRse> dudes.. i'm not eating asparagus again for a while.. i just pissed green
#103426
Justin: Is there something wrong with only having women I can trust deeply enough to call on for advice with life's curveballs?
Scaramouche: Nope.
Scaramouche: Women are infinitely better than men at that sort of thing.
Justin: Probably.. but shouldn't I try to get a male perspective on things too?
Scaramouche: You HAVE a male perspective, remember?
Justin: Oh ya...
Scaramouche: LMAO
#60274
<ellipsis> hurra
<ellipsis> I've got 8 new computer books
<ellipsis> ^_^
<ellipsis> 9, actually, but one of them's Java.
#13629
<Flirbnic> The American dream is to move to Canada.
#8016
<Pi> GMT is the best
<Pi> coslike
<Pi> everyone else is wrong
#11422
<hobophobic> cant be fucked going to the toilet
<hobophobic> i reckon i'll piss out the window
<hobophobic> brb - pissing out my window
<Mr_J_Beam_1981> lol
<hobophobic> brb - pissed on my window
<Syncope> Yeah you gotta open it first
<hobophobic> :(
#12861
<Jammer> Bad things happen in threes, don't they?
<Fake_Plastic_Tree> like Hanson.
#21583
<MikeSee> what OS does windows run on?
#8083
<DilleMMa> im off to maccas now
<DilleMMa> any requests?:)
<Nelyx> some motivation with a side order of dignity
<DilleMMa> and a large compassion
<Nelyx> and no, i would not like fries with that
<DilleMMa> i should get myself a "medium why do i even bother"
<DilleMMa> toodles
<Nelyx> they stopped serving those last year
#30359
< godsmoke> you know ... the FreeBSD devil is called beastie
< godsmoke> it has a name
< Gepeto> Ok
< Gepeto> now I do ;)
< godsmoke> as in ...
< godsmoke> "beastie" ... pronounce that
< godsmoke> slowly
< Gepeto> I see
< godsmoke> B.S.D
< Gepeto> They were on "leastie" when they thought that up
#137549
Celeste: so um yah
Celeste: you dont have to send me anything
Moozh: got it to work?
Celeste: psh no
Celeste: i did the opposite
Moozh: work to it got?
#36160
<scorf> enormous penises have bigger holes, allowing for a greater number of demons to gain entrance, which is why black men commit so much crime
<rpop> demons enter through the penis!?
<scorf> it would appear so, from this thing I read on the internet which is true!
<rpop> not even 7 am and I've been enlightened already!
#28919
<NikJam> gonna take a shower
<NikJam> cause i smell, i feel dirty, and worse of all
<NikJam> I have school tommorow
<NikJam> and I can't look bad in front of the girl at the counter
<Lime> you like her, dont you
<NikJam> well
<NikJam> there's noone else to like, i go to community college
<NikJam> i take what i can get