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#10345
<AceAway> well later bitches of to the hospital
<SForce> that sounds promising
<AceAway> not really spend half my life going to them all part of being stuck in this damn wheelchair
<SForce> unfortunate
<SForce> makes me want to stand up
#307947
<Pryoidain> So I had this brilliant Idea to patch portage to support Regex....
<Pryoidain> Like..massive regex standard strings
<LtBrenton> @_@
<Pryoidain> and then just for curiosity I ran emerge --search --desc ***
<Pryoidain> This system sounds like a turbine and I've lost a shell >.>
#8494
<helminthes> omg, i was about to walk into class today but it wasn't until right before i opened the door that i realized i wasn't wearing pants, but i didn't go home i went ahead and dealt with it and lo and behold, there was a test in that class that i hadn't studied for at all. so i jumped out the window and right when i hit the ground my cell phone went off
<hakan> yipes
<rafeil> yeh
<helminthes> and that's how it all started
<helminthes> how was your day
#6367
<Dobbs> I went out on a date once with a women who said that, whatever the society was, it could not function unless women were the "gatekeepers of sex"...
<Dobbs> ...so I said, "Well, not if women were private property."
<Dobbs> That shut her up.
#79226
<Ishi> This sucks.
<Ishi> I started seeing a doctor a few months ago. Apparently I have an anxiety order and severe depression.
<Ishi> I've been on 8 or so drugs for depression and anxiety, right?
<Ishi> And its either hit or miss
<Ishi> And the miss usually involves me violently throwing up 8 times in one day
<JediKirby> From the drugs or because you're fat?
* JediKirby was kicked by Ishi (Learn to not be a wanker)
Comment: irc.zirc.org #Massassi
#18804
<GnuVince> wanna know my brother's new CS handle?
<Kint> L33t killa Monster dude -=[y0]=- ?
<GnuVince> nope
<GnuVince> SupaAlien King Glenn Groenland
#1569
<defproc> i made a program that crashed once. i put it in my resumé and sent it to microsoft.
#52892
<+Karuma|Spooky> Boxes are fun...
<%robert> you have no idea how right you are
<%robert> nothing like a good box to reduce stress
* Karuma|Spooky made fun shelves from boxes.
<+Karuma|Spooky> ^^
<%robert> I do'nt know about you, but I'm talking about vaginas
<@Stray_Pussy> lol
<%robert> and I know for a fact that most girls get pissed when you try to store things in their vaginas
#296679
<@impossible> my buds and i share dedicated server hosting
<@impossible> so we all paypal our one friend for the monthly payment
<@impossible> so for the last four months it's been paypal messages like, "less teeth, more attentino to the balls"
<@impossible> and he got an email today saying his account has been permanently closed for adult services, which is a violation of paypal usage
#56390
ELLIS THOMAS : My question is HOW CAN I SWEAR ON BBERG?
BLOOMBERG HELP DESK : Hello Ellis, there are certain words that are restricted on Bloomberg's messaging system. If you would like to simulate a swear word, you can substitute a letter with a symbol, such as an asterisk
ELLIS THOMAS : THANK YOU, THAT'S F*CKING FANTASIC.
BLOOMBERG HELP DESK : Is there anything else I can assist you with?
#654
<Freezed> Just wondering if its possible to download a windows 95/98 source code, or ..
#17717
<MrFalcon> fuck... we have all this leftover shrimp, but no shrimp sauce
<tokage> maybe you should kill yourself
#7623
<Beesta> it's clearly time to go home
<Beesta> I just wrote "getCumming" insted of "getCommunications"
<Beesta> *shudder*
#111151
<Zealo> English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark allies, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
#303238
<gnolam> Blargh.
* gnolam is washing dishes.
<gnolam> Some of this stuff has been lying unwashed for so long that cleaning it is a truly /epic/ task.
<gnolam> So epic I think I should write a poem about it.
<gnolam> I shall call it... "The Grime of the Ancient Marinade".
#22893
<Ch33ky> is this the internet?
#14591
<@odoyle> guess how much the whole divorce costed me?
<+xenu> 100,000$
<@odoyle> not a penny
<@odoyle> the nice lawyer lady next door did it for free
<@[KdAwG]> odoyle: boom boom?
<@odoyle> nah
<@[KdAwG]> pft
<@[KdAwG]> you know you hit that ;)
#297245
<MulleDK19> How would I do arctan without a calc?
<HiLander> first, dim the lights
<engimo> put on some barry manilow
<HiLander> pour two glasses of red wine
<engimo> light some candles maybe
<HiLander> and then.. wait for the magic to begin
<engimo> yeh
Comment: #math on freenode
#302675
<^[> if i get a new machine i've got everything else planned out for my old parts
<^[> the old desktop turns into a render box
<^[> the old render box turns into a fileserver
<^[> the old fileserver turns into a flowerpot
<^[> and the old flowerpot goes outside because i haven't watered it in like 9 months and the plants have been long dead
#5988
<rmalink> are you feeling any better?
<dep01> no... not really..
<rmalink> you know what it is? allergies...
<dep01> no, you know what it is? the crippling depression..
#27903
<KiTTyKaT`> What state is Alabama in?
#101481
<SaxxonPike> mmm, steak
<SLASHSPIT> you guys don't respect the environment, do you?
<SaxxonPike> I respect a good dinner
<SLASHSPIT> how can you eat that? cows are like one of the largest contributors of methane gas
<SLASHSPIT> which contributes to global warming and stuff
<SLASHSPIT> so what are you all doing for the environment?
<SaxxonPike> I eat the fucking cows
Comment: #das-cove
#37058
<Chee|s|e> I can't wait: soon, marijuana will be legal in Canada :)
<Eddf> So you can have a pot garden in your back yard?
<Chee|s|e> No dude, so I can extend the one in the back to the front.
#4276
<R0SC0E> i think [shaolin soccer] was about to be released same weekend as Resident Evil
<R0SC0E> but they pushed it back to not be in competition
<mightyflo> zombie soccer!
<mightyflo> you could put the shaolin soccer guys up against a bunch of zombies
<mightyflo> they could do like bullet kicks and blow their heads off and stuff
<nitrifik_> no, zombies against zombies
<nitrifik_> slowest soccer game ever
#42930
<_stan> old macdonald had a farm
<_stan> e-i-e-i-o
<_stan> and on that farm he had a 40-50% statistical likelihood of committing an unnatural sex act with an animal according to the research of alfred kinsey
<_stan> e-i-e-i-o
Comment: #ampedOut nursery rhyme