Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#15176
[Swifty] its unfortunate because whenever she's explaining trigonometry or whatever, im usually trying to hide my brute of an erection
#49453
<Kei> oh, anyone know how the hell to amke a sonic costume?
<Kei> my brother wants to be sonic for halloween, and hes been bugging me about it all fucking day
<Kei> i dont get it either
<Zem> paint yourself blue, roll around like an idiot and stay less popular than Mario.
#7885
<Halcr0> If I had a knife, I'd shoot you
#794
<ckx> part of the problem with christains
<ckx> is they're so gullible
<DigDug> ckx: isn't that why they're christians in the first place?
<ckx> heh good point
#6371
*** Quits: Jenn|fer (If you are reading this, you wasted 3 seconds of your life.)
<GE> actually, it only took me about 1.5 seconds to read
<File13> if i only wasted 3 seconds of my life, i'd be happy. but according to the timer on mIRC, i have 2074 hours on this install so far.
#300149
<ninjapirate> sometimes i hear "Eye of the tiger" when i'm masturbating.
<ninjapirate> that's how glorious my penis is
<jaban> "so many times it happens too fast"
<jaban> "you must fight just to keep [it] alive"
<jaban> thinking of that part in particular?
#7309
<RaVeNX> shut it you pig fucker :)
<Knight> it's horses you twat.. horses
#1260
<wormholes> Is it difficult to manage txt files like modify lines and copy rename and create new ones..with jsut std C libs?
<NoEscom> no, it's not difficult
<Noidea> yes it's difficult.
<Noidea> It's almost impossible.
<NoEscom> oh you mean MODIFY text files? on that case you have to download microsoft sql server
#2166
<grey> wow
<grey> i didn't realise afghanistan had enough infrastructure for two nights' worth of air attacks
#54649
Leonard G: Welcome to HP Total Care. My name is Leonard. How may I assist you today?
some body: hi, how do you turn a computer on?
Leonard G: Please press the power button on the front panel of the system tower.
some body: is that the button marked power?
Leonard G: Yes, the big button in the front panel of the system tower.
some body: oh, I see a small socket
some body: what the hell, I just got electrocuted
Leonard G: I apologize for that.
#301482
<Emerald> During the hurricane of 1955 that hit Connecticut, my grandfather's neighbors were on vacation. Afterward, he sent them the following telegram, in its entirety: "What do you want me to do with your roof?"
#44073
<CaT> Is there A way I can put video files on my computer and then use my computer as a server. Also, if I can, is there a way to limit the total files sent?
<|darc|> No, you need a SUPER SERVER CHIP. They cost BILLIONS.
<FETUS> Don't tell him that darc. Cat you could get away with just a regular server chip and that will only cost a few million.
#176538
Exolent: I'll be back in like 15 minutes, i need to fake going to sleep so i can come back and stay up.
(the next morning)
Exolent: Sorry i didn't come back last night. i fell asleep trying to fake fall asleep.
#33453
<Hamhocks> if taking a huge shit is anything like playing chess, consider me the next garry kasparov
#303515
&Akensai: i just brutally slaughtered some russian asshat
&Akensai: called me an elephant penis in russian
&Akensai: so i let him know i could understand russian
&Akensai: by calling him 2 week old moldy dick juice
&Akensai: now we're friends.
#9111
<ChuffyCow> pr0n heals all wounds
<ChuffyCow> except cuts on the penis.
#48808
Gamefreak1337: I hardly notice any diffrence between 500 kbits and this connection
Gamefreak1337: unless i'm downloading something
#16611
<countzero> chubbyken: how chubby are you?..
<markanoid> he's not chubby anymore, he's been working out.. havent you read?
<aander> i heard somewhere that his name isnt ken either
<uprightmonkey> i also read that he isnt even gay!
<aander> upright, now dont be silly. do you believe everything you read?
<uprightmonkey> true true, aander. my bad.
#23834
<Antioch-WTF> Incidentally, am I the only one that craves hentai featuring a single-mother two-daughter lesbian incest family?
#22055
<Lassie> actually i remember when I was about twelve, I bought "pot" off an older student
<Lassie> and I took it to show my sister
<Lassie> and she started ROFLing
<Lassie> and told me it was just basil
#151875
<Jex> we made a mmo game where you are a member of a popular development team with an army of a few hundred clients demanding updates and the goal of the game is to prolong development as long as possible without getting e-murdered
Comment: #tremdev@freenode.net
#75146
{11:59pm} <Killane> </2006>
{12:00am} <Killane> <2007>
{12:00am} <Killane> I've been waiting a year to do that
Comment: Happy New Year
#81271
<Syntacs> I just cut my finger with a disposable tupperware container.
<Syntacs> If I'm ever the victim of a home invasion, I guess I'll know what to defend myself with.
<RedBeard> mini velociraptors?
<Syntacs> Right, but failing that, the disposable plastic containers I keep them in.
#3230
<NtG> you know theres one thing I love about the internet
<NtG> theres such a multitude of repulsive fat ugly chick pictures
#16128
<DELTRON> Note to self: when searching kazaa for southpark episode "cartman gets an anal probe", be sure to include the keyword 'southpark'!!!