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#38962
* kitten has quit IRC (Killed (NickOP (Kill requested by kittster)))
<BlackAIR> kitten got killed??
<Propagandhi> ALRIGHT, WHO IN HERE IS MASTERBATING!?
#6169
รบรบรบ KoRn^Chik/#xnet is just sad
(houlie) why are you sad Korn
(houlie) its not harvest season yet
#14817
<Ziggy> anyone know where i can download ICQ?
<Assmann> ziggy get on icq ill send it to u
<Ziggy> dude are you a fucking moron?
#2140
<torque--> i can fart out loud in an internet cafe because everyones wearing headphones
#8112
<Palindrome80> (oh. my. god. josh just showed me pornographic harry potter fan fiction.)
<thedreya> (I REFUSE to read the porno harry potter fanfic. I stick to gay A-team fanfic)
#59277
<simmy> Jack Bauer?
<simmy> (from 24)
<Simpleguy> Jack is a badass character. He can do anything
<|{evin> I think MacGuyver could take him
<|{evin> All he'd need is like.. some twine.. a toothbrush.. a glass of water.. and a tampon
<Simpleguy> You really need a rocket launcher to take down Jack?
#7591
<JtHMx> not overly keen on a film that makes #warez-nz fanboys cry
<billa> you need to respect.
<billa> to scared youll break down
<JtHMx> no, too scared I'll waste a couple of hours of my life
<JtHMx> says the man on irc at 1am
#21145
Mon: its.. kinda funny. O_o
Kadmium: I'm not aware, in fact, of a word that expresses to quite the extent that I require, precisely how funny it isn't
Mon: heh
Kadmium: Merely "bloody awful" lacks a certain vitriol, whereas "fucking dreadful" is just so cliche...
Kadmium: Let's just say that there are tribes in the Amazon forest, as yet untouched by civilization, that have said funnier things on IRC
#10213
<Blaxthos> any fat bitches with inner beauty wanna chat ?
#31838
<babywafn> I wrapped my arm in duct tape
<babywafn> and then unravelled the roll
<babywafn> and wrapped the other end around a pipe
<babywafn> and then dropped from the ceiling
<babywafn> and it jerked my arm BUT IT HELD
<fap> wafn has experienced boredom beyond our comprehension
<babywafn> it was not boredom
<babywafn> I was evading authorities
#12271
<Colrblind> Dev: it could be worse.. you could have a mullet and actually think its cool
#9396
<evad> speaking of fucking sheep..
<Vod> what would you know about fucking sheep? I bet you don't even know about the making the right slits in your wellington boots to put their back legs down so they can't get away?
#16963
<Evilmonkey> I SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS MY MOM NOT MY DAD..
<Evilmonkey> i wouldnt dream about my dad.. im not gay.. er.. shit.
#40196
<VooDooMoN> especially since i just got asked to be on staff at one of the largest lan parties in the US
<tooo> virgincon2005?
#2414
<Ickypeww> i ain't eating no girl untill they genetically engineer one with a watermellon flavored pussy that gets sweeter when she gets exited
#300740
<Brian> Hey hey, want to apply for a job at my work?
<Jeremy> Sure, I guess :) What would they need from me?
<Brian> A resume, cover letter, employment history, maybe urine
<Jeremy> I'm guessing they don't want me to mail that last one in :-D
<Brian> No, the last one is for my personal enjoyment.
#3249
BogoMips: trying to figure out why my scanner isn't installed
BogoMips: AHH.. NOT PLUGGED IN TO THE COMPUTER HAHAH
BogoMips: i wonder how i even manage to feed myself sometimes
#19445
<*AGBot> grins.
<Eye_Candy> SEE?
<*AGBot> I'm not a bot.
<Eye_Candy> DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THAT!?!
<Vic> See what?
<Zero> See what?
<Eye_Candy> god dammit.
<*AGBot> Kill, Ross... Kill them all.
* Eye_Candy rocks gently, whispering 'there IS a bot, there IS a bot'
#32466
! KirikaPhoenix sends a brick packet down the network addressed to the router
[Clockedenegger]: you eThug
Comment: #tekheads (Quakenet)
#33662
<DimaV> Anglophobia - Fear of Englishness
<DimaV> wow, some one in the world there are people scared of men with huge sideburns who shout "God save the Queen!", drink tea and play cricket.
<joe> i'd be scared if i seen one
#138397
<kn0thing> THIS IS RANDALL MUNROE I'VE TAKEN OVER ALEXIS'S KEYBOARD
<kn0thing> Okay, now that I have control of reddit, what should I do with it?
<kn0thing> I think I'll just set up a redirect to Digg.
#13625
<Sumez> there's no way a girl could ever imagine the pain of being hurt in the testicles
<Mort-Hog> emma: The pain oozes up, and your ahems swell up to the size of pomigranits, your voice goes high and squeky, and your eye lids flicker.
<MrCoulomb> I thought that's what happened when you get possesed by mickey mouse...
#35740
the_white2086: just thinking, 2 saddest thing I have seen for a while
the_white2086: 1) instructions on toothpicks
the_white2086: 2) warning many contain traces of nuts (on a bag of penuts)
phlipping: how do you fit instructions on a toothpick?
phlipping: they're pretty small
the_white2086: packet of toothpicks
phlipping: well, if you use small enough type, then "Put tooth here -->" would suffice
the_white2086: :))
the_white2086: seriously though
the_white2086: 1) moisten tip gently with tounge
the_white2086: 2) insert between teeth with flat edge next ot gum
the_white2086: 3) use with a gentle in/out rocking motion
phlipping: I don't know what's more sad. That there were instructions on a toothpick packet or that you remember them
#310743
<l0de> Notice to IT staff. As of today administrators are strictly forbidden from assigning passwords which are not randomly generated. Assigning users passwords which contain obfuscated political statements (example NRA43V3R! , 084^^4=L|Z4RD ) will be grounds for disciplinary action.
<l0de> so there's another thing I ruined for everyone
...
<l0de> for like 6 months straight I assigned every user the password: "password187!
<l0de> and everyone was logging into everyone else's accounts and creating havoc
<l0de> it was gr88
#73065
<Dextrose> you ever taken half a pill?
<molly_mushroom> yeah. twice.