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#14530
*** Darth-Phenom is now known as Guest38697
*** Sopabuena is now known as Guest21415
*** TheRealMatt is now known as Guest60273
*** Whitney is now known as Guest15303
<Flirbnic> Hey, cool. The sum of all the Guest numbers that just occurred in here, divided by 8, equals 16961.
<Flirbnic> $calc((15303+60273+38697+21415)/8)
<Flirbnic> ...
<Flirbnic> I have no life.
<TheRealMatt> no... no you don't
#299822
<^Migs^> something really weird happened to me last night
<^Migs^> So I'm just sitting up in my room, right? It's about 11:30, I'm on my laptop, and the doorbell rings.
<^Migs^> I'm like, wtf, but figure it must be a neighbor returning my cat or something dumb like that.
<^Migs^> So I answer the door, and this mentally handicapped kid just barges in.
<^Migs^> He's about 13 or so, and he's just frantically looking around. He tells me I have a nice house, wants something to eat, says he returned my cat, then gets distracted by something in the kitchen, all within about 5 seconds. The kid has an attention span of about 3 seconds.
<^Migs^> I actually recognized him from church. He has some sort of palsy, but I couldn't remember his name, so I have no way to contact his parents, and I don't have a clue where he lives.
<^Migs^> Meanwhile, the kid is just tearing through my house, asking me about everything he sees. He offers to clean my family room, turns on my wife's laptop, plays with the baby toys, asks about the Wii...just anything you can imagine.
<Biff> how did he find you?
<^Migs^> I was just the random house he picked.
<^Migs^> It took a lot of convincing and keeping him focused. But finally I get him to call his sister on the phone. He refused to call his mom, because "she was asleep" but I guess his sister was okay.
<^Migs^> So I get his sister on the phone, and get an address from her, and tell them I'll drive him home.
<Biff> he was that far from home that you had to drive him?
<^Migs^> Well, I open the garage door, and try to coax him into my car. He gets all upset over this, and says he'll just go to some other house.
<^Migs^> He was about 6 blocks from home.
<^Migs^> Anyway, he bolts out the door, and starts running down the street. So I get in my car to chase after him.
<^Migs^> Fortunately, the police were out searching the neighborhood for him, too, and they managed to catch him down at the corner, so I didn't have to go very far.
<^Migs^> They called his mom and told her where we were, so we all just hung out and waited. Apparently, it's not the first time he's done this, since the cops knew him quite well.
<^Migs^> The family locks the doors and stuff, but this time he got out through the doggy door.
<^Migs^> Best. Facebook status update. Ever.
#43365
<Aelia> and he had like 200 GB of hentai -_-
* Smile checks how much he has.
<Ceras> good old hentai
<Smile> 300mb.
<Smile> -.-' no telling Juney.
* Smile holds a knife to everyone.
<Ceras> omg...what a loser....
<sp3tt> Smile... ever heard of bash.org?
<Smile> Yes.
<Smile> OH SHIT
#20435
<tudda> Man you guys are nerds.
<tudda> Im outta here, im going to go watch star wars.
#367
<brojek> The A-Team? it goes like this: they have a "job", get into trouble, get cornered, in that corner they build a tank and then escape :)
<toitle> the best bit was when they made the tank out of left overs from a broken vacuum cleaner
#42623
< rast> whats a good free perl program for windows?
< billnyeWRK> perl program?
< rast> you know, a program that can run perl scripts
< caphuso> rast: perl is a good program to run perl scripts with...
< rast> url?
< sawtooth> no, perl ;)
#311564
crond: to hell with emacs.
crond: emacs is like using a blender to chop your salad. you CAN do it, but it's overkill, and you just get sludge at the end.
whizzl: more like dropping your entire kitchen on the salad bowl
#301010
<Vivisector> I kind of lol'd when the Tibetan restaurant closed down and turned into a Chinese restaurant
#310394
<&Orillion> All my lines are under the GNU public license
<&Orillion> Feel free to interpret and rewrite them as you like
<&Orillion> I know my girlfriend does
#3602
<Baby-d> I set up a shoutcast last night while I was pretty wasted, it's fuckin tight though
<SilverJag> I guess
<Baby-d> you guess!?!
<Baby-d> show some more enthusiasim!
<Baby-d> :)
<SilverJag> I cant I have diahreaa
#29498
<+FuelDizzle> i wish i was a midget i'd dress up as a leperchaun
#2211
<CiXeL> apparently a customer got pissed at us this morning and sent our sales secretary goatse.cx as an attachment
#33898
<tito> the first rule of fap club is we do not talk about fap club
#14202
<flee> fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to
<flee> suffering, suffering leads to ice cream.
<mrg> mmmm, ice cream
<6> ice cream leads to fat, fat leads to jazzercise, jazzercise
<6> leads to SUFFERING
<mrg> yay the cycle of ice cream is complete!
#297086
< leth> gnufs: but that is already perfect, why would you need to change it?
< gnufs> leth: free software is not about perfection but satisfying your ego by modifying stuff for no reason
Comment: #gnewsense on Freenode
#6626
<BrantB> OMG!
<CecilPL> what?
<BrantB> I just used an acronym for Oh My God for the first time ever
#49631
<insaneidiot> does ripping a dvd cause any phyiscal damage to the dvd?
<insaneidiot> ex. scratching
<Eric> ...
Comment: irc.halomessenger.org #HM
#12423
<Arafelis> Er, can anyone help me get rid of a virus?
<Arafelis> I sort of need to before it takes out my computer.
<Arafelis> It's creating a junk file called WIN386.swp
#689
<aard> i have a dentist appointment tomorrow
<aard> for these cavities
<joeN> aard is going to get his cavities filled :)
<Number-6> bend over; I'll fill your cavity
#60317
<+Tocsin> I saw that article about those surgeries they do
<+Tocsin> fuck, I couldn't tell the difference between the fake one and the real one..
<+Tocsin> I mean it got me to thinking..
<+Tocsin> How many men I've been with... and what's the chance that one of 'em mighta been a woman before.
<+Tocsin> ...FUCK I mean that the other way around
Comment: Tocsin is an alcoholic
#68742
<kaiser> how much weight can a donkey handle?
<Tsuta> kaiser: depends on the donkey
<kaiser> the standard donkey
<Tsuta> I bet anywhere from 10 to 250 lbs
<Tsuta> whytf do you need to know, anyways, kaiser?
<kaiser> i wanna know how much an assload is
#5303
<@atarax> DrConway: Some kid told me a couple days ago "They just came out with internet 7.0"
#11442
<dan> what the hell is a ponzi scheme
<brian-w> where you go into a meeting with a leather jacket and go 'Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!'
<brian-w> and they give you money
#56827
(+[dps]rannmann) i wonder what this command does
(+[dps]rannmann) maybe it'll blow up my mirc
(+[dps]rannmann) playing: "The Infamous Double Dildo Janine!! (xxx dildo fist fuck sex porn ficken anal divx).mpg" .:1384kbps|Stereo|8:26:.
(+[dps]rannmann) FUCK
(+[dps]rannmann) NO
(+[dps]rannmann) THAT'S WHAT IT DOES
(+[dps]rannmann) ignore that!
Comment: Owned?
#302416
Vasir: What's tuberculosis?
Psi: A lung disease
Vasir: Ohh, I thought it was an std
Psi: lol, no, it's transferred by coughing, sneezing, stuff like that
Vasir: I thought its when your dick is clogged
Psi: ...
Vasir: ...
Vasir: Is there a disease fitting that description?
Psi: God, I hope not...