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#39544
* TheWoozle wonders if an antipuppy brings unhappiness...
TheWoozle: ...and removes slobber from your face...
TheWoozle: ...and repairs chewed-up toys...
phealy: ...and causes a massive explosion when it touches a puppy!
mundungu: Or eats puppies.
TheWoozle: ...and makes cats feel happy and secure...
mundungu: And helps the mailman deliver his packages?
mundungu: Ahhh, yeah.
* TheWoozle thinks there should be a mind-warp drive which uses the energy released by a puppy-antipuppy reaction ^_^
* TheWoozle wouldn't want to have to clean up afterwards, though.
#6369
<Monk> All I have to say... is I'm so messed that when I turned off the blacklight downstairs
<Monk> that I imagined I was defeating a agent of the negaverse sent by queen beryl who was using it to sap our lifeforce
#32662
<ruumis> playing metroid on the toilet. man, I knew there was a reason I lived in America.
#88403
<[ka]killer> what if you just took all the servers on the internet and networked them all together....
<[ka]killer> wait...
<[ka]killer> never mind.
#18953
<Kevyn> That's how I always play The Sims. I put one fat old guy and one little girl in a one room house and try to get her to pee in front of him.
#302592
<+TakeOne> O..o I love the way you can select a date of birth that's later than april 2010.
<+TakeOne> Yes, I'm submitting an application to McDonald's before I'm born because I know how futile my life is going to be.
#75146
{11:59pm} <Killane> </2006>
{12:00am} <Killane> <2007>
{12:00am} <Killane> I've been waiting a year to do that
Comment: Happy New Year
#7520
<g33kk0r3> anyone know what carpet bombing is?
<vaportrail> umm...taking a crap on a vagina?
#7774
<chaowork> dont singe the wenis
<faustwork> yeah, nude bacon cooking is tricky
<chaowork> i hear thats gonna be in the next olympics
<faustwork> you should see how i flip it over
#17452
<emp|whiskey> icq??? who still uses that?
<jud_> pervs
<zapp> i do
<zapp> oops
<zapp> oh damn.
#39944
<Teromen> ekmf: irc taught me the correct use of : and made my ged score higher :D
#35688
<Toxic_Bunny> Funnies thing in my life: Saw a chick at lan, with a bigger porn collection than all my friends combined
#5923
[mad] WHAT KINDA PRESIDENT DO WE GOT ANYWAYZ
[mad] HE SMOKES WEED AND DONT INHALE
[mad] GETS A BLOW JOB AND DONT CUM
[mad] I MEAN CMON.
#33238
[ @Puddlejumper ] if I sleep, I have no excuse for screwing up at work tomorro
#13444
<@Shadowbuilder> haha have you ever seen that commercial
<@Shadowbuilder> theres kid talking on a chat room
<@NwG|Canucks> no explain
<@Shadowbuilder> hes cybering with some girl, and he says "moan, moan for me as load as possible"
<@Shadowbuilder> then you hear thing sound come from the corner of his house, soudns like moaning
<@Shadowbuilder> and the kid says "mom?????"
<@NwG|Canucks> lol
#46442
<%PortoRob> okay, this is a good story
<%PortoRob> the pastors daughter and i fooled around
<%PortoRob> and it involved carrots
<%PortoRob> in her
<%PortoRob> when we were done, we put the carrots back in the fridge
<%spock1104> LOL
<%PortoRob> and her mom put them in stew that night
<%spock1104> oh man
<%spock1104> that's awesome
<%PortoRob> so we're at the table, eating, and KJ and are trying not to laugh as her mother, sister, two brothers, and father eat carrots that were only hours before firmly embedded into her vagina
Comment: #WPI
#310251
<fryerfly> there were a couple of guys on other courses i got on with
<fryerfly> some of our modules overlapped
<fryerfly> we had some good times playing lan games of halo
<fryerfly> except i kept winning
<fryerfly> which offended them
<fryerfly> eventually they declared we were going to have a match
<fryerfly> them vs me
<fryerfly> i was limited to an energy sword and a pistol
<fryerfly> they could use anything they liked
<fryerfly> i won
* fryerfly was never invited again
#62079
<relsqui> my cat just lay down with her chin on my wrist. that's very very fuzzy.
* nova20 applauds relsqui for her perfect conjugation of the verb "to lie"
* nova20 gives relsqui a commondation on behalf of the Chief of the Grammar Police
...
<relsqui> and I just noticed you misspelled "commendation," which is hilarious only because of the context.
<nova20> well, it's the Grammar police, not the spelling polise.
<nova20> oh man
* nova20 facepalms
<nova20> that's "police"
#79226
<Ishi> This sucks.
<Ishi> I started seeing a doctor a few months ago. Apparently I have an anxiety order and severe depression.
<Ishi> I've been on 8 or so drugs for depression and anxiety, right?
<Ishi> And its either hit or miss
<Ishi> And the miss usually involves me violently throwing up 8 times in one day
<JediKirby> From the drugs or because you're fat?
* JediKirby was kicked by Ishi (Learn to not be a wanker)
Comment: irc.zirc.org #Massassi
#32695
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> we're talkign about sex (no big deal at my work) and he pops in and he says this "mmm i like to give them girls golden showers...", after that we were both like "........", and he knew he said something wrong and left .
<ZestyO> ...
<White_Anomaly> strange people on this planet
<White_Anomaly> :(
<ZestyO> indeed
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> yes very
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> i didn't know half of the sick things i do now until i got on the internet :(
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> my poor soul will never be pure again :(
#8881
<fo0bar> man, do you know HOW FUCKING LONG a 15ft kvm cable is?
<synec> 15ft?
#8726
<mewse> contrary to popular belief there are periods where i dont feel like drinking
<mewse> these periods, i call "hangovers"
#76605
<@big_al> .
<Loki1> good point
#33905
<RandomSpork> I saw Dawn of the Dead yesterday
<RandomSpork> ha ha ha
<RandomSpork> about halfway through the movei
<RandomSpork> the theater starts to get this really BAD smell
<@MrMog> oo?
<RandomSpork> and there's this annoying drip drip dripping sound
<@MrMog> oo???
<RandomSpork> turns out there was a bunch of 7 years olds in the upper seats with large cokes
<@MrMog> ..
<@MrMog> that story sucked
<RandomSpork> but it was TRUE
<@MrMog> I thought there was a dead body or something
<@MrMog> jeez
<RandomSpork> it wasn't coke that was dripping
<@MrMog> ...
<@MrMog> eww
Comment: irc.esper.net #rotfw
#24078
<whitcomb> i somehow get the feeling that listening to the cure and looking at porn is very, very wrong