Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#300058
< Mirell> Your mom's a non-profit! I can deduct my contributions to her!
< Pomax> Hold on a minute there, mister. Who said my mom was non-profit.
< Mirell> I did
< Pomax> Well I advise you to check with the chamber of commerce before you make such statements.
< Mirell> Your mom's a for-profit entity! That means my contributions to her get doubly-taxed as it passes through the layers!
< Mirell> Doesn't work as well
< Pomax> I'm sure we can somehow make it work.
< Pomax> Yo momma so fo' profit, any contribution to her gets taxed three times!
< Pomax> or something.
< Mirell> ...that was good, sir.
#11095
<herk> wait'll i put out my hip hop album
<chrissyb0> i can see it now
<chrissyb0> "Im herschel i get all the bitches i want, i can make a
webpage with any font
#8928
<grey`> how much do cheek clenches help ass shape?
<grey`> i need to firm up my ass
<grey`> like i'm always clenching to tunes in winamp, i'd like to think its effective
#29019
<@michael> i think what we all want to know, orion, is whether the ice cream truck hit the kid
<@orion> unfortunately not
<@orion> it was just some kids screaming after the missed creamy treat opportunity
#7540
< Kayne > man, i should take this vibrating monkey out of my ass... it's starting to affect my typing
#50877
<lotusleaf> I wish someone would make a pair of sunglasses which when worn would transform all of the sights into live ascii
#18160
<MaxPower> so I'm on this ftp site today
<thammy> haha
<thammy> that sounds like the beginning of a bad geek joke
#303315
<Griff> vuvuzela's are like children.. they can be annoying as hell until you have your own one
<Foulwynd> and then blow it..
Comment: #worldofraids
#59753
<Calamarain> Idiot. Someone told me that Schindler's list was a "box of tissues film"
<Calamarain> What a load of crap
<Calamarain> I only jerked off once.
#311554
<APTX_> so
<APTX_> I unpacked my switch and I turn it on for the first time. I felt it rumble a bit. After a second I realized that it was an earthquake and not the console...
<DerIdiot|work> ba da bish
<APTX_> the timing was really good
#50880
<aq> 1st person shooters are easier to play with than women
<aq> a friend of mine did talk me through some basics
<aq> and it seems far too damn complicated
<aq> it's like a fighter plane's cockpit
<aq> how the hell are we guys supposed to know how to fly those babys when we don't have any simulators
<aq> girls get simulators
<aq> plus there's only the joystick. Women don't have to deal with all the flaps or levers or buttons or nozzles or whatever else...
<aq> I don't even know where the eject button is incase I panic!!!
#204833
< tripletech> do old people really say pew pew pew? i thought that was a 00s thing
<@Fib> tripletech of course, winston churchill himself said in his famous speech "we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, pew pew pew!"
< fansipans> "do not want" was originally a prohibition protest song
< pmv> i thought it was the civil rights movement
< fansipans> pmv no that was can has
< pmv> haha
< fansipans> remember martin luther king's famous speech "i can has a dream" ?
< pmv> i can has cheezeburger was black slang for equal rights
< fansipans> well back in those days cheeseburgers were only served in the "whites only" section of diners
< fansipans> so it really was a rallying cry for many
< pmv> nice
Comment: #cobol
#8864
<+Sonikku> 10 PRINT "_Bobbi_ is a PROGRAMER!"
<+Sonikku> 20 GOTO 10
<@dixon> Sonikku: what is that ? assembly ?
#62589
< zeleftikam> i had a fuckin weird ass dream last night.. suddenly i realised i could wikipedia two things at once and that was somehow amazing, then i appeared in a dance club and this dj at a table had two record turntables except they were circular lcd screens and each had a wikipedia page, and as he scratched the screens back and forth different wikipedia pages flipped on them
< zeleftikam> and he was reading them
< zeleftikam> because he was Lord Nikon from Hackers
Comment: #null (irc.nullirc.net)
#28912
Maidros says "They had me evaluate network monitoring software last year."
Maidros says "The stuff that will tell you where people are surfing and such."
Maidros says "I ran it for a week, found that *I* was the worst offender, and told the boss it was too expensive."
Comment: some random mush chatter
#11116
< cygnus` > this girl broke up with me once
< cygnus` > becuase i was sucking her tit
< cygnus` > and i said it was to try and get milk to come out
< cygnus` > and i started laughing like a retard
#28514
<railor> then there comes this really hot nurse chick and i like get an instant hard-on
<railor> she asks me if i'm ok and leaves. i tell to myself "what a fine piece of ass!" so i grab my dick and start whacking off like mad
<HaiFlick> so you've started jerking off to that nurse after you had been drunk like hell and woke up in the hospital?
<railor> yeah, but then suddenly a woman next to me started crying really loud. i couldn't see her due to the curtain though
<HaiFlick> lol
<railor> turns out it was my wife
#41112
<vsync> cool, just rented Brazil
<a_0001> inflation down there is that bad?
#61191
<AwwJeah> I want to fill a super soaker with cheap vodka and spray down other drivers.
<AwwJeah> Then call the police and tell them I think they're driving drunk.
<AwwJeah> Because, seriously, who would believe that story?
#10609
(+aileur): man you guys rock
(+aileur): killed 120 people in a wedding
(@SeeDee): news here says 20
(+JoeYoung): eh?
(@headc4se): well they're canadian cd, so using the metric system
(+JoeYoung): metric people
(+JoeYoung): 1 standard person=6 metric people
#160946
<@Blode> do you like the sonnets?
<Shakespears_sisters> whats that lol
#224
[deft-:deft@98A9C369.ipt.aol.com] at least i don't go on aol
#246949
Canadian BLT: sorry, I just turned on my comp then went upstairs for a while
Duff: pfft
Duff: My computer is on 24/7
Canadian BLT: i need to turn mine off every once in a while, i feel that it runs a lot better if i turn it off, let it rest then turn it on again
Duff: you realize it's not a bunch of slave gnomes inside running everything right?
#309955
<grifferz> bitcointalk full of marks who one month ago were all "yeah deconstruct the state! to the moon! fuck the bankers!" then today they are "omg I put my son's education fund on mtgox, who do I sue?"
#106178
fluffyjim: an plus at da end of the show dey all start rollin round on da fall avin a seizer with tubby custard spuwin outta der mouth
sheady: english, type in english, netspeak is not tolerated here.
fluffyjim: floor*