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#2705
(kap) damn im gassy tonight
(kap) too bad eSmell went out of buisness
(kap) i could punish you guys forever
#24048
<RS-Jack> this place is like a bowl of cereal, full of fruits and nuts
#127
<MadHatter> I've been using mirc exclusively for like 6-7 years or whatever
<MadHatter> I could get mIRC certified by now
#16592
<RtWh0> garlic ok you and me right here right now
* GaRlic_iv puts up his dukes
* GaRlic_iv ... wait.. i got fuckin no dukes
* RtWh0 pulls out ding dong and swings it around like a whip and cuts Garlics head off
<RtWh0> then some guy yells FATALITY
<RtWh0> in a mean vioce
<GaRlic_iv> RtWh0 pulls out ding dong
<GaRlic_iv> i hope thats not your dogs name dude
#10223
<luminosity> No wait... I can do better than that. they should develop a
neural connection so I can sit here and not even have to move.
<martinb> sure. Can it write this requirements spec I'm working on, too?
<luminosity> Why the hell not?
<luminosity> While it's at it it can do my homework so I can concentrate on
fun stuff.
<martinb> so get working on it!
<martinb> no, wait, recusion
<martinb> damn
#747
<Keiichi> I hope you eat a dog-shit taco and fucking die.
<|Dan|> NOT ZESTY
#42950
<froggie> I got a cool joke. What's the difference between a 15 year old and a 17 year old?
<d4nny> I don't know
<froggie> see.. that's going to get you in big trouble, one day
#299591
<Reznor> I feel like a tool because I just ironed my shoelaces.
#7039
<DocWebstr> *cough*BULLSHIT*cough*
<Lazarus> Doc, you really gotta quit inhaling all that bullshit; it's not good for you.
#76611
<Craig> you wanna go drink?
<Genga> ive no cash
<Genga> im more broke than a...
<Genga> Windows based PC
<Genga> oh god I cant believe I just said that
#56454
* Boche slaps wanks around a bit with a large trout
<Boche> how do i change weapon? someone?
#309833
<heddwch> brb, taking out the trash as my moment of productivity for the day
#12861
<Jammer> Bad things happen in threes, don't they?
<Fake_Plastic_Tree> like Hanson.
#27372
(parazite) Legolas did you take your name from lord of the rings?
(@ Legolas) no, I got it from this magazine
(@ Legolas) it was advertising salogel, its a type of lubricant
(@ Legolas) I just did the name backwards and I liked it.......
#53031
[DragonOutlaw] I have a crazy website/irc idea
[DragonOutlaw] shit my elbow
[DragonOutlaw] I hit it on the desk
[@dragoonz] I like it!
[DragonOutlaw] ASSHOLE DESK
[%ForgottenSin] THATS GENIUS
#310589
<Walnut> Sonic the Hedgehog has never had a bad game
<Walnut> unrelated I have amnesia dating back to 1994
#308726
<steveio>this dude at work is an insufferable asshole
<steveio>and he asked me to look at his code because it wasn't working right. But he had that air of "I couldn't find it, so I don't think you will either, but I know my boss will ask if anyone else looked at it, so here." Such an asshole
<steveio>anyhow, found the problem right away, simple fix. But I then added this lovely gem:
<steveio>#define sizeof( rand(
<steveio>he uses sizeof in for loops everywhere >:)
#41197
<zb> so like these two strings walk into a bar
<zb> one goes to the bartender...
<zb> "i'd like a jack and cokeEWdc#@@$@23Dwqxsa.xq. qwqw\0xx32
<zb> the second one says, "you'll have to excuse my friend, he isn't nul terminated."
<zb> :<
#75285
<Buck> a religious discussion on digg is like asking which power ranger is the strongest in kindergarten
#19137
[E-vangelist] I was walking through the mall today and everywhere there are
posters advertising Britney Spears brand ROLLER SKATES everywhere
[E-vangelist] I wonder which pharmecutical company is anxiously awaiting the announcement that her cherry's been popped so they can start selling Britney Brand Birth Control pills
#84297
<stac> ...
<stac> wtf
<stac> i just called a mate in the office
<stac> he picks up and informs me that he is in the toilet taking a crap
<stac> i tell him i'll call later
<stac> and he says "no no, we can talk. it will be a longer session"
Comment: mWtNet/#sporks
#9662
corpratewar: gah, why would somebody encode a song @ 28kbps
arkain88: Thats so small it could fit through a condom.
#45172
<Phlip> I'm not insensitive! I'm political-correctness-deprived!
#38200
<ducklord> <Rjx> time to do some benchmarking
<ducklord> I thought you said "benchpressing" ;(
<ducklord> we should be more manly
#103238
<Fathom> Zoe: Would you prefer a woman with a healthy amount of body, or some calista flockhartish hussy who eats a few lettuce leaves for lunch every day?
<Zoe> I prefer men, quite frankly