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#31872
<IceWizard> in honor of MLK day, my mom fed her snake a black mouse instead of white
Comment: #emu efnet
#17931
<MrEnthusiasm> ugh, new david bowie cd boasted that it had interactive multimedia on it
<MrEnthusiasm> what it meant was 2 buttons, one to play the cd and one to connect to a site
#5353
<AlmtyBob> k funny story tiem
<AlmtyBob> there's this guy at work
<AlmtyBob> and back in the days
<AlmtyBob> I would tell people to ask him how fast his dad can run
<AlmtyBob> and they would
<AlmtyBob> and he'd say, 'dude that's kinda fucked up, my dad lost his legs in a construction accident'
<AlmtyBob> and he's a total straight-faced mf, so it got the best reactions from people
<AlmtyBob> (it was a joke, his dad was fine)
<AlmtyBob> I got this new dealer to do it to him today, he's a supervisor
<AlmtyBob> I was talking to my friend later and I told him to go up to this chick and ask the same thing
<AlmtyBob> little did he know, her father was murdered a few years back
<AlmtyBob> joke's on him!
<AlmtyBob> well, you had to be there
#2132
<DigiGnome> doesn't play properly. The White Stripes one.
<Thom> Ach. Dang.
<DigiGnome> Unless it's MEANT to sound like a cat trying to shit wasps through a sewn up asshole.
<puchiko> It is.
<DigiGnome> Ah. A Slipknot cover, then.
#60331
<brisbane> I got a knock on my door and as i was expecting a girlfriend I was naked, I opened it and it was two Jehova Witnessees. Needless to say they didnt stay long and never came back.
#28640
<StarExile> PLEASE OH GOD help me find a nick
<StarExile> like fucking hell -.
<StarExile> sry
<StarExile> heh
<JayBlalock> Tonight's random spaz attack has been brought to you by StarExile.
#297319
<Samael> IRC i've found is a drinking game in disguise.
<Samael> everytime someone talks
<Samael> you drink
--- Ceo has changed the topic to: IRC: A drinking game in disguise.
#10702
<Jubei301> So I walk into the room with the cat on my shoulder, facing backwards, and my stepdad is trying to watch TV, and I step in front of him, point at my cats ass, and say "ARG! shiver me timbers, its me one eyed parrot" and he laughed for a long time....my mom was just staring at me like im some kind of pervert.
<Jubei301> What? doesnt everyone use their cats brown-eye for their punchlines?
#41891
LCobraG90: ok i pasted it like u said to
[I][c][e]: Ok, good.
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
Deranged: >:)
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has joined #scripting.
[I][c][e]: Hey
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
[I][c][e]: keke
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has joined #scripting.
Deranged: Hiya
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
Deranged: hehehe
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has joined #scripting.
[I][c][e]: Hey again..
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
[I][c][e]: Hahaha
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has joined #scripting.
Deranged: Boo!
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
* Deranged highfives Icey
* [I][c][e] highfives Derry
Deranged: Who'd have thought he wouldn't notice the little 'on *:TEXT:*:#:{ /p $chan }' in the script we gave him? >:)
#38820
<+cwd> in my server here since there are lots of HDs and fans, all the vibrations in the case are causing power connectors to slip just enough to power off the drive
<+cwd> so every 2-3 days i have to open it and readjust
<+cwd> its pretty fucking gay
< war-> cwd do you have a gf?
<+cwd> of course not
#52979
<matr1x> the name gaylord means "brave strength " in old french
<Luigi30> matr1x: it means "homosexual god" in modern english
#40309
* brit is now known as ILIKEPLANTERSNUTS
* defaulrt is now known as PLANTERS
#7120
<AgentAce1> hmm
<AgentAce1> well that's interesting
<AgentAce1> actually...that's fuckin weird ass shit
#6225
<AffenJunge> I don't want to dominate women.. I just wish they'd be more eager to dominate me
#4631
<ic0n0> i love the midwest
<NecroMort> ilke gurls with big fat titties.
<ic0n0> what does that have to do with the midwest?
<polar> you have something against titties?
#3582
<duk0r> Don't forget kids, the faster you download the bigger your penis is.
#51643
<ryan`> god i fucking rule
<ryan`> my brother stole money from me
<ryan`> so i mixed elmers glue with a bit of water
<ryan`> then i spread some over my sisters little hand puppets
<ryan`> and threw it half way under his bed
<ryan`> now hes grounded all next week for "jacking off with her hand puppets"
#9363
<[DeViL]PsYcHo> it'll be lonely this christmas, without you to hold
<[DeViL]Chufty> psycho you getting circumsized for christmas?!
#305736
<Keyla> we had a fun customer today who came in with a very detailed handwritten list of components for a computer he wanted us to build for him
<Keyla> core i5 or i7, 6-8 GB of ram (or maybe 12), 2 hard drives (he specifically requested no raid)
<Keyla> for word processing
<_habnabit> Maybe he wanted to use OOo
#118122
<apples> the program 'apt-get' is currently not installed. You can install it by typing: apt-get install apt-get
<fuchoo> lol
#42786
<ToxicNed> Went to pick up the double pack of GTA3 and GTA:VC, and some woman was going to buy GTA:SA for her 7 year old. She asks me if it's appropriate for kids, so I pointed out the M rating on it. She still appeared to not get it, so I explained that there's strong language, violence, drug trafficing, gang warfare, and sex with prostitutes in the game.
<ToxicNed> So she looks at her son and says "I don't know if I should get this for you..." but held onto it anyway. As she's walking towards the front of the store, I hear the kid say "But I won't fuck any hookers, Mom."
Comment: #offtopic
#29206
<Urashima> I wonder if it's morally defensible to kill my neighbours for having a crappy taste in music and wanting to share it with me early in the morning... -_-
#14592
<ElZango> I was introduced to Tolkein by a trio of British social scientists in Peru who also introduced me to Marxism.
<ElZango> They tossed LotR at me and said "it's reactionary, but amusing." I was 11.
<FuzLogic> <ElZango> they let me sleep in the closet when I was good.
#14627
*** Lachlann was kicked by Gromph (omg , are u illeterate?)
#24
<ckx> women ask for it
<ckx> they act all old and mature
<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx> and they get all bitchy
<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"