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#53697
<Chris> They want everything they can't get in a man. For the most part, we only want someone to play with and have a little companionship with.
<Chris> I mean..I understand the compatiblity issue. You wouldn't put a G4 chip onto an AMD board...
<Chris> Then again, it's probably analogies like that which keep me pretty safe from girls.
#305708
<Pryoidain> >lift up faceplate on old laptop's CD-Rom drive, make whole faceplate giant eject button, so the moment you push it in, it sits there, then ejects again
<Pryoidain> >take into small hardware repair shop
<Pryoidain> >hours of amusement
<Alister> ...you didn't.
<Pryoidain> I did
<Alister> you know
<Alister> you are the reason I never want to work support in my life
#113837
Chelsea: ...why do I always check Yahoo's bulk folder when I know that almost nothing goes in there that I'd actually want?
William: dunno
Chelsea: I've been getting an unusual amount(read:two per day) of spam mail that doesn't get redirected there lately, though.
William: Well, the spammers change their tactics every so often
Chelsea: Yeah
Chelsea: Their "try to sell Viagra to a female" tactic hasn't changed, though :p
#8144
<Naivete> damnit whenever I see the word 'mount' in linux documentation I think UNF
<Vertinox> "...Take hard drive, lube it with proper amounts of kY..."
#294926
<Metal_Wol> WTF is a l33t h4x0r anyway?
<Metal_Wol> That hurt my head just to fucking TYPE that.
<Momaw> Don't type with your head?
#304240
<@Amigod> i want to play my guitar
<@Amigod> But Eleni's asleep
<HanSorbo> So wear earplugs.
<HanSorbo> So you cant hear her yelling at you to stop.
#32584
<ImJen> I'm bored
<cax> me too
<D^KR0VV> #cyberpunx
<MikeUC> I'm bored, too.
<Johnny_R> well we wouldn't b on here if we all had thriving social lives would we!?
Comment: The sad truth.
#35480
<Allahkat> I thought of the most awesome idea for me stretched ear lobes ever.
<Allahkat> I can get these steel plugs with a reb Abalone inlay, and I'm going to solder some beads around the edges so I CAN HAVE GOATSE EAR PLUGS
#224012
<psypete> ok, so i have a question
<psypete> fellow geohashers
<psypete> is there any prize or accomplishment for geohashing in a hurricane?
<joannac|reallyAsleep> a darwin award
#4756
<kyle> I'm trying to get this girl to go out with me but every pick up line i use sucks.
<kolby> next time you see her, ask her what the difference is between a pile of dead babies and a BMW
<kolby> then tell her that you don't have a BMW in your garage
#20062
(note! i know the last one i sent you guys was just a copy of what you already had but this one is halarious)
<draito5> 35
<35man> yeah?
<draito5> last night i she dumped me
<draito5> SHE DUMPED ME MAN!!
<35man> Who? Claire?!
<draito5> yea
<35man> Hey listen, I'm really sorry about that, how you holding up?
<draito5> not good bro i nearly killed myself
<35man> awww come on, it can't be that bad.
<draito5> no seriously!!! i was sitting in the bathroom and i
took my razorblade and i was just shaving when i thought, whats the use
and then i seriously started thinking about it
<35man> wow. holy shit. did you end up doin it?
#60729
<c-rOCK> you cant give blood if youve had buttsex with a man since 1976 though doesnt that disqualify you
<Catcher> haha
<Catcher> giving or receiving?
<jestuh> busted.
<Catcher> DAMN
#12798
<teknoho> im not drinking hard liquor for a lil while. i gave it up for lent.
<mmmichael> what does lent do to you?
<mmmichael> does it fuck you up?
#13404
<@rtav> CaptainX, It is considered outdated and sexist to refer to your barbecue with "her"
<@rtav> CaptainX, Unless it is an erotic barbecue with the erotic feature set of a woman.
<@rtav> Then I propose that you are confusing a hooker with a barbecue.
<@rtav> To determine once and for all whether you are dealing with a barecue or a hooker, simply light it on fire.
<@rtav> If it runs, you are dealing with a hooker.
<@rtav> If it does not, you are either dealing with a barbecue or a dead hooker.
#5276
<Guilty> Wasnt there some option you changed last time when DCC kept cutting off?
<maff> yeah I reinstalled windows
#11301
<liquid> i want to get head from a girl with a fat bottom lip
<jenn> punch her first.
#32531
<DimaV> http://bash.cx/?search=Gothic_CatGirl&order=quote_id&sort=asc&limit=25&approved=0
<Gothic_CatGirl> Holy crap
<Gothic_CatGirl> That's a lot
<DimaV> ur popular
<DimaV> ur like a porn star, only we get to talk to u
#52767
anotherpadawan42: I just upgraded my web hosting and now have 408 megs of free space
QreepyBORIS: Ooooh
anotherpadawan42: Dude I nearly jacked off looking at the free space pie graph.
#79919
<@Poppin> but i cant go to the dentist cuz my mom screwed me
<Foxhill> what has your dentist got against incest?
#36050
<drew> hmmm I have a web page that will not render in firefox, but does work in quanta. It is a page to order a new phone service. Any suggestions on how to get it rendering/working?
<rik> ask the html validator
<rik> validator.w3.org
<maria> stab the designer in the hand until they write a non-broken page? :)
<rik> and how do they do that without a hand?
<maria> you only stab one hand
#144439
<[UTM][ri]TuttiFrutti> oooo
<[UTM][ri]TuttiFrutti> RnB means rhythm and blues?
<[89]Z> yea >_>
<[UTM][ri]TuttiFrutti> i always thought rap and black
#10828
<MeTh|pizzza> ack! i think some1 is tryin 2 break into my house! i just saw a kladder go by the window...
<ddrfreak> really?
<MeTh|pizzza> in other chan...
<ddrfreak> somoene is trying to break into your house in the other channel?
#28992
<icmp> last night i went out with this chick, she wanted to give me a handjob i said no way my hands are just fine thank you and left promptly..what a weirdo!
#297440
<w0rm> i actually found this chat becuase CNN advertised it
<Magami_Yuuji> CNN advertised a IRC channel?
<w0rm> yes the were showing some twitter messages earlier and i saw this chan
<werdnativ> worm, I think CNN were referring to the twitter hashtag, not irc channel...
<w0rm> probably but this is how i found this chan
Comment: #iranelection
#6483
<dj_ak> i just popped a zit on my shoulder
<dj_ak> and it hit me in the eye
<dj_ak> then i licked my eye
<splifs> women must love you