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#310922
<whyrusleeping> last time i went to ikea i left with a bunch of artistic twigs and a different girlfriend
<whyrusleeping> still have the twigs
#4753
<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
#4455
<Nephil> I was given detention because I said "evaginate" during a debate
<Nephil> :/
#300810
Crimson_Judas: I overheard this chick at lunch talking to a friend
Crimson_Judas: About how she had to terminate her pregnancy when she was young, and now that she's ready for children she can't get pregnant
lemonlimeskull: Classic case of ABORT, RETRY, FAIL.
#26290
<CYwolf> I always wanted to get 8 eyebrow piercings and hang a little curtain
#38339
Synlor: oh man i heard the most disgusting story ever
Synlor: okay this chick gave her boyfriend head right
Synlor: ya know
Synlor: but liek a week later there is an infection in her mouth
Synlor: so she went to the doctor to get it checked it out
butters: and?
Synlor: the doctor said it wasn't an std or anything, but it was eggs from maggots
butters: wow
Synlor: and he said the only way you could get that is if you had sex with dead people....
Synlor: her boyfriend works in a funeral home
Comment: irc.cheatlist.com #dcemu
#369
<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P
#298583
<echoplex> do you type by throwing chopsticks at a keyboard that is spinning or something?
#11632
<Pod-Matey> Dod is great
<Hydrac7> I've always disliked the hand models on DoD
<Pod-Matey> Hydrac, not everyone has soft and supple hands
<Hydrac7> Pod-Matey: I get it from frequent masturbation with hand lotion.
<Pod-Matey> Hydrac, I was going to mention something of the like, but I see you've already explained more than I ever could
#10284
<AnalInvasion> my dick is so big it has feet
<NinjaInThePants> my dick is so big popcorn now comes in small, medium, large, and my dick.
#14198
(Horny-Net-Geek): Hi, I just got my computer yesterday morning took all day to set up and I stayed up half the night to download mirc from a web sight in Turkey. My questions is (1) how do I get ops (2) how do you send messages. (3) all women here a/s/l/?
#309123
<KsM> Estrellas you're more attractive than a cat
<KsM> I mean that in the best way possible
<Estrellas> that's the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me
#297796
<Xerol|Work> customer wants to buy an "external processor"
<Xerol|Work> i want to buy a "gun"
<Xerol|Work> and "shoot myself"
<Warchamp7> You don't carry external processors?
<Xerol|Work> not ones that go in the "USA Port"
#12864
<usagi> "As for religion and science, I'm placing a restraining order, Religion must stay 500 feet from Science at all times."
#180
<goh2> my parents are budgeting me
<goh2> 400$ a month for a computer
<goh2> for the next 3 months
<goh2> i spent 100$ on weed
#55997
<Porque> So, per usual, my town is filled with rednecks.
<Porque> Needless to say, this makes the day more interesting when there's a dead deer in the middle of the road.
<Porque> Since there's such little traffic going through here every day, a deer died in the middle of the road. The bus driver pulls over by it, and I'm sitting there going "wtf are you waiting for, move the damn carcass".
<Porque> So we end up waiting for about a minute. I'm still sitting there, stunned by the stupidity, when this redneck BLAZES down the street in his truck, stopping on a dime right by us. The guy hops out with a chainsaw, revs it. HE SAWS THE HORNS OFF OF THE DEER AND LEAVES THE BODY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.
<Porque> Turns out someone on the bus called the guy on a cellphone and let him know.
#60704
Blackstrat04: i have a headache though, thats pretty cool
dbounce09: that sucks
dbounce09: have some excedrin w/ a beer... that should do it
Blackstrat04: im at work
Blackstrat04: i dont have any excedrin
#24382
<Zone-MR> Nope, but my gayfever is killing me
<Zone-MR> OMFG, Damn. Why did the QUERTY designer have to place the 'G' next to the 'H' :'(
#303792
<emFox> Kali ma!
* emFox rips Novu's still-beating heart out of his chest and lowers his body into a flame pit.
<emFox> Bali Mangthi Kali Ma!
<Novu_Ferret> This is how I know he loves me
#34231
<medium> crrj, i complained to my help desk last night at my class about not being able to use linux on their network
<medium> and i got yelled at for installing linux, they said "it corrupts laptop hard drives, it fills it with useless data"
<medium> lol
<GyPSY> lol
<medium> AND it kept booting to linux
<medium> and he said he couldn't boot from a floppy
<medium> because i had a bootloader installed (lilo)
<medium> even though in stark contrast on the boot menu, one of the options clearly says "floppy"
<GyPSY> haha
<+crrj-working> Sounds like you need a new school.
<medium> I agree
<medium> i am disappointed w/ the one i am at
* +crrj-working hands medium a clue-by-four and a clue-bat for applying LARTs with both hands.
Comment: Sometimes 'help desks' means the people working it need help.
#3684
<dodgey> my g/f somtimes talks to me in html code
<dodgey> quite cute... eheh
<dodgey> like i go to bed the other night, she sais
<dodgey> actually, what did she say
#41354
<Steppenwolf> DNA = National Dyslexic Association
<Toughie> Steppenwolf, thats NDA
<Toughie> o.....rite....
#29306
[23:37:20] <Conjurer> ps1 was great
[23:37:27] <J3anyus> for me to poop on
[23:37:27] <Conjurer> for me to poop on
[23:37:31] <J3anyus> good god
[23:37:33] <J3anyus> that's scary.
#4871
<reuben> my dad claims that he got his first piece of ass from a cow.
<reuben> i had a great upbringing
#28892
<@demalavor> I finally got to try krispy kreme
<@demalavor> <3
<@demalavor> the lady there scared me though
<@demalavor> I walked in and she jumped out from the corner and was like "FREE SAMPLE YAAAAA!!"