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#55
<Sonique> you know you've just experienced an odd moment at 3:30am when you're completely naked making an away msg for aim and your dad (clothed only in breifs) strolls by, waves, and says, "i thought i smelled something. oh well, night!", and walks off
#15353
<Hvatti> MY CAPS-LOCK IS ON AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT OFF.. CAN ANYONE HELP ME???
<[DoD]Xiao> typ capslock button :P
<aegis> Hvatti: hold down shift while writing instead...^^
<Hvatti> hey that shift-thing works thx!!!
<Hvatti> but it*s pretty difficult to write while holding a shift:::
<Lilly-> omg
<Lilly-> Hvatti find "caps lock" key and press it once
<Lilly-> number 3 from bottom left
<Hvatti> where can i find it
<Tiger> hehe :D
<aegis> at the left of your keyboard
<Hvatti> ok thanx::
<Hvatti> YES IT WORKED!!!
<Lilly-> aamm
<aegis> apparently it didn't
<Lilly-> lol
<Hvatti> CAN I NOW RELEASE THE SHIFT?
<aegis> yes
<aegis> you have to release the shift.
<Lilly-> omg how sweet !!
<Hvatti> like this?
* Lilly- faints
<aegis> yep, just like that
#39236
Dave: should i order anal grease with the cpu?
Dave: THERMAL
Dave: ><
#21139
·xplosif· sif im lesbian
·xplosif· i just got my dick sucked!
•TwisTz• by a chick?
·xplosif· no a guy
#75584
xTedHeadx: My family must be like the worst Jews in history.
xTedHeadx: We celebrated Hanukkah by going out for lobster.
#4871
<reuben> my dad claims that he got his first piece of ass from a cow.
<reuben> i had a great upbringing
#159049
<Jeremy> I remember the first time one of my friends got stoned....it was fucking great. he thought he wasn't feeling it, and we were playing tekken tag. He's sitting there cussing because his remote's not working, then we look over and his right hand isn't on the controller, it's in the bag of popcorn.
<Jeremy> He was twitching his hand IN THE BAG like he was trying to hit buttons
<pariah> LMFAO.
<pariah> That is awesome.
<Jeremy> He ended up winning the match because I fell out of my chair laughing at him and couldn't stop
#307156
Pizzicato: In my head, the way the defence budget in the states is handled is some dude pules up to a drive-thru window at a huge factory and a voice crackles over the intercom
Pizzicato: 'Hi, welcome to the DoD! How can I help you?'
Pizzicato: The guys looks at the menu and goes 'Uhhhhhhhh I'll take....2,433 F-35s, 30 Virginia class submarines, a fleet of V-22s, FA-18EFs, and another fleet of EA-18Gs'.
Pizzicato: Then the dude on the intercom says 'Okay, that will be 137 billion dollars, please pull around to the second window!'
Comment: #EquestriaAfterDark on GeekShed (irc.geekshed.net)
#307141
<+ajackmeh20> You know I just thought of a Mad Men drinking game. Except it's rather simple. You just drink every time they do. You'll get drunk pretty quickly.
#20007
* +Dejiko_nyo modded his toaster
<+Vassago> you can play burned pop tarts on it now?
#54060
DarkSnake > if you have sex for several years would that qualify you as a sexologist?
chsh > I had my sexologist license for a bit, but it was revoked. :S
DarkSnake > quit practicing huh
chsh > I do however have a double doctorate in Ballgrabbery and Advanced Masturbatory Studies
Comment: irc.unerror.com #lobby
#785
(|Chris) bang her and change your phone number
#6894
AtomicInternet: I'm going to download GTA3 and Warcraft III when it comes out and distribute them to everyone.
mavstring: that is wrong.
AtomicInternet: yes, it is. A single tear rolled down my cheek.
#31313
* Joins: msft (swi@3155232f.22cbf9e3.client2.attbi.com)
* Gargoyle sets mode: +v msft
<+Mike> oh jeez. Microsoft is in here
<+Mike> y'all hide those corp copies of XP!
#28305
<@Harpana_Rocks> I won, I won! I beat the toilet...I was finally able to wipe my ass without getting any on me!
#52940
<Foxhill[work]> remember girls.. stop boys becoming emo.. suck more cock
#41250
(+BarnacleBob): the ipod isn't all that great... i should have looked around and got a cheeper one with same sized hd and a recording feature
(+BarnacleBob): i pods are by far the dominant portable music player in san francisco.... even over regular cd players
(@Zaphod): But on the other hand, gay sex is by far the preffered sexual persuasion in San Fransisco, but that doesn't mean its best for the rest of the planet :)
Comment: #ctrlaltdel on irc.afterx.net
#257781
<Kyle> December is just around the corner, and you know what that means.
<st0ned> Christmas?
<Kyle> no
<Kyle> DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 2008
#55507
<S> fnuh?
<S> a fly just flew into my monitor
<S> then instantly collapsed on my desk
<Markus> hehe
<Markus> maybe it has no depth perception and thought your background was real
<S> except you can't see my background for the masses of windows open
<S> besides that, it's just plain dark cyan
<Markus> could make a joke about flies flying into windows but that's too corny
#41354
<Steppenwolf> DNA = National Dyslexic Association
<Toughie> Steppenwolf, thats NDA
<Toughie> o.....rite....
#6133
<BedBoB> ERR: scsi_wait_goat() no goat.
<lsd> i'm sure i don't remember having any goats near my old all-SCSI amiga
<Bruce> the mac II here doesnt need goats either
<BedBoB> they have inbuilt goats
<lsd> on-board goat controller
#17205
<Funk> Hey I have a question for your mother
<zuKi> Sure thing, let me get her!
<Funk> Ask her how many Communion wafers you'd have to eat to consume a whole Jesus
#5338
<Carplos-Duck> You just killed 100 innocent civilians, how do you feel?
<Pedro> patriotic
#74351
Merchelo> no one uses cd's
nosmo> You ever wonder where mp3s come from?
nosmo> Your parents didn't give you "the talk"
#231855
<sara> FUCK I THINK I BURNED
<sara> WELCOME TO FACEBOOK
<sara> INTO MY SCREEN