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#1785
<Weazel> stupid cops
<Weazel> always giving me shit
<Weazel> SHE WANTED TO HAVE SEX
#8059
<Electroly> kurros has a l33t ass projector, I saw a picture of it just once
and I've been drooling ever since
<T-ball> nice...
<T-ball> I don't have room for a projector... :/
<Brazilian> I have a monkey who draws on my wall really fast
#25623
(timmo) id fucking stab someone if i was in a dorm room
(timmo) and woke up
(timmo) and they were fucking whacking
[Gimdb] i'd finish them off
#12768
<eltawater> anyone know the name of a (mathematical) function which calculates how many times a number M fits into a number N?
<eltawater> i.e. 20,4 = 5
<eltawater> ?
<Biddle> Division?
<AlleyCat> divisor
<eltawater> er
<eltawater> *smacks head into desk*
#306048
<Man18> friends dog had to be put down today
<Man18> i told him damn man thats ruff in a text message
<Man18> he deleted me on facebook
Comment: #gbatemp.net
#19082
<3vildr3@d> I hate gays
<3vildr3@d> Once I passed out at a party
<3vildr3@d> when I came to some guy was giving me a blowjob
<3vildr3@d> so I waited for him to finish, then kicked the shit out of him
#307194
<+Becky_> when I was like 10 or something I went on the internet to like a HTML chatroom on yahoo
<+Becky_> some guy had the nickname "blink182fan"
<+Becky_> I said to him that the blink tag sucks because it's not supported by all browsers
#15689
<rone> OH BY THE WAY WE'RE BEING ACQUIRED. AGAIN.
<rone> hey, at least we didn't merge with tab.net
<PetrDoubt> Yes, we did.
<PetrDoubt> Verio owns tabnet.
<rone> o fuck
#12322
<Josh> hey Lan
<Josh> i just would like to say
<Josh> that if world war iii comes tomorrow
<Josh> i loved you most of all
<@Lan> i would like to say
<@Lan> if ww iii comes tomorrow
<@Lan> i loved orange soda more than any of you
#70658
<caesar> ahhh... i downloaded this beautiful pr0n vid, masturbated while watching it and then had a wonderful orgasm :)
<rockdots> heh, caesar: you conquered, you saw, you came?
<caesar> roflmao
#1575
<CoN> ... next you'll tell me that you shaved your pubes under the misdirection that i care
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> eh...
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> hey CoN, I shave my pubic hair under the misdirection that you care.
<CoN> oh thanks
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> then I make socks out of it.
<CoN> ... thats weird
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> human-wool socks
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> >:D
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> wanna know how I make apple juice?
*** CoN has quit IRC
#29311
<duxr0x>...
<duxr0x> i told u u couldn't amputate a cats leg with a goddamn toothbrush you dumbfuck
#1619
<Seros> fuck
<Seros> we were at 7-11
<Seros> And amanda is wearing this shirt that says "wtf?"
<Seros> The indian guy that works there said "What is the meaning of this.. wtf?"
<Amanda> I told him that it's a non-profit organization. >:O
#26348
<Drewcifer> the carpets all nice and lubricated
#16232
<[m1]> sup sluts
<ian_> dave where do I learn how to make 3D models of shit
<[m1]> haha dude
<[m1]> i dont know SHIT about any kind of art or about 3D
<[m1]> im a unix dork that specializes in solaris and bsd
<ian_> [m1] why aren't you out partying
<ian_> fun fun fun till yer daddy takes the t-bird away
<ian_> and all that rot
<[m1]> cuz im a unix dork that specializes in bsd and solaris?
#545
<smcn> the only thing we have to ph33r is peer itself
#304593
<Zypur> I'm trying to sell a brand new blackberry storm2
<Zypur> It's stolen from verizon
<Failure> That's not a phrase you'd usually include when trying to sell something
#16363
<Paulo> What KOF babe has the sexiest navel?
<Angelblade> Is the navel where your thing-thing is supposed to go?
<K9999> YOUR THING-THING CAN'T GO INTO A NAVEL! Although it might be an intriguing experience...
<MilleniumWEAPON> Your... thing-thing??? Though it does not go into the navel too well, I could recommend some "educational" sites as to where you put your thing-thing, but I'd get banned...
#55838
<altoid> so this ~20 year old walks up with his mom to the register
<altoid> and she's paying with a check
<altoid> so our cashier asks her for ID to verify
<altoid> and he says (jokingly): "why do you have to be such a bitch?"
<altoid> (to the cashier)
<altoid> and his mom turns to him, and says with a concerned tone:
<altoid> "you're gonna have a lot of success with the ladies"
<altoid> the guy: "..."
<altoid> the cashier couldn't even be mad at him for calling her a bitch
<altoid> i think if my mom told me that, i'd have to go kill myself within 5 mins
Comment: the Gap
#8165
<Kash> I have a large bulge in my pants.
*** Kash was kicked by Kiler (let the gerbil out)
#4169
<sdr> i'm going to play with it first and become familiar, then show her how to use it
#36734
<fleet> So I've started a job with a tech company
<fleet> And I'm building a server downstairs with the head of technical
<fleet> He tells me to pass him the RAM on the table
<fleet> I pick it up and read 512 DDR 2700 and ask
<fleet> "What the hell does Dance Dance Revolution RAM do differently?"
<fleet> He facepalmed and told me to go sit in the idiot corner
#39686
<bobsquared> i hate it when i accidentally refresh the page when im half way through reading random bash quotes in case there was a really great one i missed never to see again :(
<Jon> jesus, i'm never speaking to you again. ever.
<Jon> ...not because you're a total fucking nerd... it's because i've felt that too :(
#43282
eTheRealPulse: you see, if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck
laid_back: and masturbates like a horny chick that didn't get any on prom night because she got dumped
laid_back: then it might be my ex
Comment: #windows
#11211
<Kitsa> dammit I hate my hotmail account
<Kitsa> I HAD 413 SPAM E-MAILS
<Kitsa> since 2:00 this morning
<Kitsa> according to them, I can make money sitting on my ass
<Kitsa> while fucking Britney Spears and taking human growth hormone