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#14933
<mevrick6> buti dont like verbal sex, cos it creat me problem'
#29152
<luqin> senior year
<luqin> my roomate is on a job interview for sam adams
<luqin> he's on a ridealong with a sales guy
<luqin> they start talking about music
<luqin> sales guy goes
<luqin> "gwen stefani is pretty hot"
<luqin> my roomate is trying to be professional
<luqin> says "yeah she's pretty attractive"
<MadHack-> heh
<luqin> 30 seconds of silence
<luqin> sales guy goes
<luqin> "I'd eat her ass"
<dave__> HAHAHAHAHA
<MadHack-> ahahahahaha
<erobbins> HAHAHAHAHA
<russur> HAHAHAHAHA
<dave__> fuck i just spit out my lemonade
#22326
<Omnipolex> how many years of experience have you had with young rape ntfs
<ntfs0> young rape? i started when your mother was just a little girl
<Omnipolex> wtf
<Omnipolex> oh
<Omnipolex> shit
<Omnipolex> no i meant 3d rendering
<ntfs0> wtf
<sy> hahah
<sy> bash.org
<ntfs0> how do you mistake 3d rendering for young rape
#25314
[logic1] hmm even though it does state "freakcock" in the url i think this might be a cute picture of a little kitty.. let me take a look
#304203
<@JC>Haha this is awesome.
<@JC>Im in sydney airport sitting next to all these really clueless people - i realised (yes i fucking realised how bored i was at
the same time) that new firmware had come out for my modem - so i telnetted in and upgraded it - and while i was at it i noticed my voip dialplan was all wrong too so i fixed that up - basically i was winning command prompt big time.
<@JC>This being an aiport and a "console" looking dodgy as fuck got some girl running to the security guard thinking i am like sending airport infrastructure results back to the KGB or some shit. Basically i was like zero cool to this chick - which is pretty cool.
<@JC>He comes over to me and grabs my shoulder and asks what i was doing i said i was "hacking the gibson"
<@JC>AND THE MOTHERFUCKER CONFISCATED MY GODDAMN LAPTOP - HE HAD TO HAVE AN IT "EXPERT" LOOK AT MY LAPTOP WHICH DELAYED MY FLIGHT UNDER A "SECURITY RISK" i swear to god - they are just getting bored - like all this money
going toward airport security and they bag a dude for telnetting his modem - when that lady next to me was probably smuggling crack inbetween her butt cheeks.
<@JC>So moral of this story - telnetting can sometimes get you nearly arrested.
#32893
<+RageAgainsttheAmish> this incence im burning owns
<@Aunt_Jemima> that reminds me of a story
<@Aunt_Jemima> i was at my friends house
<@Aunt_Jemima> and he is a complete stoner
<@Aunt_Jemima> but his dad is a born again christian
<@Aunt_Jemima> and he was burning incense
<@Aunt_Jemima> his dad walks in the door and says in a southern accent
<@Aunt_Jemima> "son, i dont want you burning that incense. its the gateway to drugs"
#4087
<boxed> I still have the marks of her nails on my back I think :P
<jwzrd-> boxed: ahahahahah
<jwzrd-> boxed: I get marks on my chest :)
<boxed> well, that happens too
<jwzrd-> boxed++
<nightfal> I bruised my right nipple while I was sleeping 3 nights ago
#4451
<amoeba> mouse gestures = OMG IM TOO LAZY TO PRESS TEH BUTTONS ON TEH KEYBOARD
<@tr0n> HEY IF I MOVE IT IN AN S PATTERN AND THEN A ZIGZAG AND THEN A SQUARE SHAPE IT WILL TAKE ME TO FAGS.NET
#9413
(@Bean): rofl
(@Bean): I asked my g/f too marry me, she took me seriously
#56642
@[BONFIRE] just got the best question ever
@[BONFIRE] by some n00b
@[BONFIRE] whos trying to install an old printer
@[BONFIRE] like 15 yo
@[BONFIRE] he doesnt know why it wont work
@[BONFIRE] it keep poping up with "new hardware found"
@[BONFIRE] and he clicks cancel
@[BONFIRE] cause its not new
@[BONFIRE] >_<
#1903
<Delusion> "US attacked by four concurrent hijacking incidents. US gas stations celebrate by immediate 25 cent price increase."
#28912
Maidros says "They had me evaluate network monitoring software last year."
Maidros says "The stuff that will tell you where people are surfing and such."
Maidros says "I ran it for a week, found that *I* was the worst offender, and told the boss it was too expensive."
Comment: some random mush chatter
#7192
<gedamo> Some of our customers used to call their computer boxes the "brain" and it led tothem calling up saying things like "My brain isn'tworking"
#49925
< RyuKojiro> if it is a vertical asymptote at 25 then he needs to cook them longer to unburn them ;)
< kernel_dan> its a vertical asymptote from the left (i.e. at time is infinitessimally less than 25)
< kernel_dan> for time greater than 25, it is undefined
< RyuKojiro> Oh, okay ;)
< kernel_dan> by now, his cookies would be really burnt
< RyuKojiro> indefinitely burnt ;)
< kernel_dan> quick! the freezer
< RyuKojiro> Wait, then it would be a 3 dimentional plot of this asymptote
< RyuKojiro> temperature, cook time, and burnt-ness :P
< RyuKojiro> then it would decrease on the z making it just a cold, yet indefinitely burnt cookie
< kernel_dan> and what if burnt-ness where a complex number?
< RyuKojiro> Then he could risk having imaginarily burnt cookies!
< kernel_dan> but they would still really be burnt
Comment: #math
#309171
<aji> suppose that X is the most annoying thing
<Brando753> ok
<aji> let Y be "nerds arguing about X"
<aji> by the Brando753 principle, Y is more annoying than X
<aji> therefore, no such X can exist
#53289
<Cinsu> I'd love to see a warning on something where the background is flashing black and white and the text is flashing blue and red and it says "WARNING: If you are prone to epileptic seizures..."
#58699
MadSkz: i was arguing with my dad last night
MadSkz: and i called him a terrorist (hes muslim)
padawan: lol..what did he do then
MadSkz: threaten me with a box cutter
#34190
* rik decides not to reply to spam whose subject line is "discount vasectomy"
#8213
<gamma8> well i hope you enjoy it then!
<c0c0nutz> thanks G8, I hope so too cause honestly.. I rather be on bed right now
* gamma8 feels like an important summit of industrialised nations
<gamma8> that's the sort of thing that gives you a nice warm and fuzzy feeling inside... :)
#30771
<colombianp4> how can i download some hardware?
#215584
<blu> so today i went outside because we had new stairs and etc, long story
<blu> so i go outside theres this girl on the street
<blu> so i go see her and tell her "i got molested by a mango when i was young what should i do"
<blu> SO NOW SHE PULLS A BRICK OUT OF HER PURSE
<blu> i start running
<blu> SHE FUCKING THREW IT AT ME
<blu> and now she just saw where i live
<@MokN> good luck with that
<blu> ok so i just went to give her the brick
<blu> she went
<blu> "WHAT THE FUCK ITS YOU AGAIN"
<blu> i said "hi here's your brick"
#21047
<lav> that's what happens to people caught cheating
<lav> l33t
<Cecil> is that the one where they throw the guy's comp out on the street?
#51174
Lucius: so im stuck hangin out with this emo kid
Lucius: he goes up to this hot girl and says "hey baby, what are you doing lateR?"
Lucius: she turns to him and goes "boy, i already have a pussy, i dont need another one" and walks away
Lucius: i couldnt stop laughing
Lucius: then he gets this sad look and tells me to shut up
Lucius: i calmly pull out my sharpie and draw a tear on his cheek
Lucius: he literally shrieks and runs away
#6204
<felix:#916> there is a DEAD FUCKING RAT in our server room
<felix:#916> it's like, ROTTING
<felix:#916> STUCK UNDER A CABINET AND NOBODY CAN GET TO IT
<felix:#916> 8 or 9" long, overall
<asphyxia:#916> damn packet kiddies
#32560
<@Hellfish> wow, we actually had a funny joke going till you RUINED IT with goatse