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#2755
<Nick-spy> MY ROOSTER RAN AWAY! SOMEONE GRAB MY COCK!
#18682
<TiGryphon> EvilJoven: This was taken into account when he was buried, and in fact, Darwin spins almost constantly in his grave.
<TiGryphon> THey hooked him to a generator, he powers manhattan
#181576
<@rob> the trolls that are in #flirts are internet trolls. stacy`` is the kind of troll that lives in the ground and under bridges and asks tolls of people passing over her
<@Phrang> oh, i've heard of that profession.
#50388
<Slater_> I HATE sticky keys!
<Slater_> I specifically remember being just about to take that perfect headshot in Counter-Strike, tapping the shift-key to sneak a bit forward for a clean view. ...and then...
<Slater_> "Hello! We think you must be severely handicapped, since you just pressed the shift key. We will now close your game and teach you a bit about using your computer with no hands. Love thy Windows experience!"
#21561
[16:13] <goatasaur> ahh, porn
[16:24] <goatasaur> what were we talking about?
#3600
<BombScare> hmmm...choices choices, either get dressed and go get lunch, or sit here and wait for dinner
<BombScare> damn im lazy
#301056
<froggey> gta4 is fantastic. just got run over by the stationary car i was trying to steal :D
#75928
Reddman: brain surgery fascinates me
ion: yeah
ion: usually they have to be conscious during it
ion: to help out
ion: "does it tickle when I do this?"
ion: "No, but I hear 'born in the USA' playing"
ion: "OK, I'll remove that one"
ion: "thanks"
Reddman: lmfao
infernalista: LOL
#305367
<samurai_> whoa
<samurai_> this must be the internet equivalent of blacking out and waking up the next day to find you don't remember a thing
<samurai_> seems i had an account for a porn site i hadn't used in 30 weeks
<samurai_> from where apparently i'd downloaded over 20 gigs of videos
<samurai_> none of which i have anymore or recall seeing
<samurai_> well they wished me happy birthday today and that's how i knew it even existed
<samurai_> i feel like an undercover agent who was brainwashed and given a new identity
<dd7> as a pervert?
<samurai_> yes
<samurai_> yes indeed
#8472
<helminthes> and the little basket at the counter says tips, so you hock a big loogie in it and then you realize what you did and say, "oh shit i'm dyslexic"
#301278
<DaynaGirl> I had an app once... it adjusted your volume to full in all regards... then screamed out into the darkness "Hey!!! Look at me!!! I'm watching PORN over here!!!"
<DaynaGirl> then it kindly returned everything back to normal settings.
<reiser> hahaha DaynaGirl
<zarko> DaynaGirl: i believe i saw such a web site
<zarko> it opened dozens of windows, filled with gay porn, and played that msg repetitively
<zarko> well, it said "GAY porn"
<DaynaGirl> I thought it was so funny... I renamed it "DaynaNude.Exe" and kept a copy on the desktop.
<DaynaGirl> one night at about 2am... I'm awoken to the app playing...
<DaynaGirl> I rush out to my puter to find my mother turning forty shades of purple...
#18280
[dozer] if i say what i wanted to say i'd probably get quoted/laughed at so i'm not going to
#40323
02:45:47 [dbcalo] UK DOCTORS have discovered a form of hypochondria which is developed by surfing the web and misdiagnosing your own illnesses, according to a new study.
03:32:21 [Rn] i'm at a loss for words
03:32:22 * Rn googles
03:33:11 [Rn] oh my god i have Motor Neuron Disease
#36622
-!- dantheman [pirc@pcp749465pcs.manass01.va.comcast.net] has joined #geekissues
<ahaning> what's with comcast's hostnames? pcp? manass?
#2958
<datz510> u prolly race grandmas goin tot he grocery store too huh
<BenK> no
<BenK> I race hardcore racers
<BenK> people with tinted windows
<BenK> and 20 inch rims
<datz510> Ben.. like other hondas?
#2546
<wilylojik> you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?
<immi> wilylojik like after i cum on my balls
<immi> ?
<wilylojik> like after you've been running windows for 6 months
<wilylojik> which I suppose, yes, is like after you cum on your balls immi
#306094
yaoi_prophet: i see a red node and i want it painted black
yaoi_prophet: no children any more, i want it to turn black
yaoi_prophet: i see inserts go by, no matter how many nodes within
yaoi_prophet: i know that my tree's max height is bounded O(log n)
Comment: #cobol
#31037
<Wonker> gay
<Wonker> homo
<Wonker> queer
<Wonker> fag
<Wonker> bottom licker
<Wonker> fudge packer
<Wonker> willy magnet
<turtle> man-butt doer.
<Yiff> Arsebandit
<Wonker> pillow biter
<Wonker> anal intruder
<dzee> Brown Pipe Technician
<Yiff> Vagina decliner. Ololo
<JAG> ass piss
<Wonker> no Jag, you havne't quite got the idea now, have you?
Comment: #pcgam0r on gamesnet
#4583
<Spesh> It takes skill to climb the corporate ladder on your knees.
#311140
< m1dnight_> Jezus, these damn terrorists are blowing up half my
< m1dnight_> I was late for the university today.
< m1dnight_> Thank god I had to pass 2 bombsites on my way to the university. Not to mention the fact that my university was an actual target (immediate threat)
< m1dnight_> Man this stuff is surreal. People are texting me to ask me if I'm alive..
< m1dnight_> Even one guy "I knew I had to try IRC to contact you so I installed this mirc thing" :>>>
#28787
* OxD kicks rbastic in the nuts
<rbastic> comeon man
<OxD> heh
<rbastic> i need those. for like, making semen and stuff.
<rbastic> mostly just for the semen.
#45450
<Ahanix> You know what girls love?
<Ahanix> (your cock is not an answer)
<EmoAddict15> small penis?
<EmoAddict15> lol
<Ahanix> i said your cock is not an answer!
Comment: iexbeta
#4256
<OpsuPup> i was driving along one day, saw a bmw and thought, that's an ugly bmw, then i realised it was a merc, then i thought, hmm, nice looking merc
#27932
<Razor_EQ> god damn I just embarresed myself with a girtl I lik
<Razor_EQ> like
<Razor_EQ> look at this shit
<Razor_EQ> rangers4life03: im glad i didnt ask for one now
<Razor_EQ> dazed_n_confused_1983: i have cokes and dr peppers tea
<Razor_EQ> rangers4life03: cool dr pepper
<Razor_EQ> rangers4life03: but I dont drink cocks anymore
#297086
< leth> gnufs: but that is already perfect, why would you need to change it?
< gnufs> leth: free software is not about perfection but satisfying your ego by modifying stuff for no reason
Comment: #gnewsense on Freenode