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#294707
<%Zac378> yo, you guys still playing xbox?
<@tet> I got off but I'll go back on if you want to play
<@tet> wait you have halo 3 right?
<%Zac378> nope, I got xbox pajama pants...not an xbox 360 for xmas -.-
<@tet> that's like giving an Ethiopian a picture of food
<%Zac378> lmao
#3764
<ric> tbh, I would like to know why only fat women who have no chance of scoring with anyone seem to see *me* as their ideal partner
<tommy_> ditto
<ric> maybe, it's my good looks, my charm, my generosity....
<ric> or perhaps it's my hat of meat... just who knows?
#46079
<reddave1982> I got the 24-hr garage night shift blues
<Langly> what planet are you on that has 24 hour nights?
<microwiz> are there parts of earth that are dark for 24h? i know there are parts that are light for 24h
<FMalibu> well yes one implies the other
<FMalibu> probably antarctica or something is pretty much dark all day long by now?
* FMalibu imagines what kind of night shifts they have there...
<FMalibu> right, you'll be on pinguin duty...
<microwiz> PENGUIN GARAGE
<Langly> Terrapin Garage
<microwiz> insert "it looks like you blew a seal" joke here
#10853
<_orion> I love escelators, they can never break, only temporarially turn into stairs
#56454
* Boche slaps wanks around a bit with a large trout
<Boche> how do i change weapon? someone?
#296856
<Uuxaul> So I was on this "free resume" builder website last night. So I'm going through building my resume. Get to the end thinking, awesome! almost done. Shows me a preview embedded with Javascript so I can't click the page, and asks me to pay 14.95 for the "actual copy". So I'm like... WELL FUCK YOU. So I save the web page, delete the java bullshit, open it up in firefox, pull up the source after editing it in kate, copy and paste it to open office set it to recognize HTML tags... And PRINTED MY GOD DAMNED RESUME
<Uuxaul> It was just slightly annoying because I spent an hour on this site making everything perfect, and it even advertised free resume construction with an upgrade option you could pay for...
<Raine Sabaal> Hahahahaha!
<Raine Sabaal> You should add that to your resume.
<Uuxaul> Skills: Capable of bypassing Pay-To-Print resume builders.
#46506
<treb> what if the compy freezes?
<@Gertie> Get it a blanket?
Comment: #cam, irc.drivemeinsane.com
#3668
<ThaDragon> money == good life == pussy + beer.
<ThaDragon> Preferrably in that order. Pussy tastes horrible after beer.
<tenfour> eew
* ThaDragon grossed out tenfour
<tenfour> I can't stand the taste of beer
#21034
<Hatter_ui> Honestly, could you love yourself anymore you fuck?
<Otto> As a matter of fact, yes.
<Otto> My ribs are being removed as we speak.
#11888
<sparks> got the house to myself for the evening
<Robert> bbl
<Robert> hehe enjoy ;)
<sparks> guess I'll invite a bunch of friends over and have a party and play rap music
<sparks> by which I mean I'll order a pizza and nair my legs
#3275
<cynica_l> i hate babies
<Gollum`> i hate people
<cynica_l> i hate you
<profett> i have 3 guns
<profett> we can solve some problems
#4706
<winmutt> lol
<winmutt> my neighbor's name is jeff toke
<winmutt> and hes getting married tomorrow
<winmutt> 4/20
<winmutt> LOL
<winmutt> i just realized this
#310551
[MobileJovian] If something is objective only for one person, then it's not objective
[MobileJovian] That's sort of the exact definition of subjectivity
[Me-me] maybe for you it is
[MobileJovian] I see what you did there.
#556
<D-viant> it's not like her ass is caked in shit
<D-viant> and it's not like I'm sticking my tongue IN her ass
#7990
<Diamond> There's about 800 people tied up in my basement.
<Prophet> Oh my
<Prophet> What do you use them for?
<mordac> They really bring the room together, you know?
#3169
<myst> of course with all the pro- USA, rah, rah, crap we hear... i probally just ignored it
<Joshua> ah damn, i'm sorry about that
<myst> ah teens and guns. yes i have read a few stories on that topic.
<Joshua> as an american, i'm going to have to appologys
<Joshua> *appologies?
<Joshua> soemthing like that
<Joshua> fuck it
<Joshua> i'm an american
<Joshua> i don't have to spell
#12939
<fm> i've had three girls today IM me and tell me that they like me.
<fm> then they said april fools and signed off.
#74613
<catinabox> i can't help being annoying
-- rmuser has kicked catinabox from #albinoblacksheep (I can)
Comment: irc.lcirc.net #albinoblacksheep
#19477
(+Normandy) apparantly, and i was told this on good terms, that girls refer to other "physically challenged" girls as "sparkly"
(+Normandy) when lads would simply say "ugly as fuck"
#15903
<HeatDeath> You should take care of your nipples. They may not seem important
now, but when you die, that's where the angels grab you.
#53100
<+Vent> if I ever get drunk and can't get it up in bed I'll tell her erection reset by beer
#8269
<xTaVx> im bored
<EvilChatOp> you're aways bored
<EvilChatOp> go masterbate or somethign
<xTaVx> brb
#6892
<fagg0t> I need no ignore list...I'm quite capable of ignoring people with my BRAIN
#35289
<|Chris> i know i'm killing more quotes than i should
<|Chris> just due to the fact that i'm not finding a whole lot of things funny due to my current situation in life
<|Chris> i'm so sad...she took the gamecube man
<|Chris> the fucking gamecube
#42876
Bane: i need to make messes in my house and clean them up with paper towels in front of my parents more often...
HeadShot: lol
HeadShot: what for
Bane: so my parents won't get suspicious when they stop buying as many paper towels when i go off to college