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#58753
<AngryLuke> going to starbucks for coffee is like going to disneyland to use a toilet.
#62085
<jengelh:##c++> void jesus_ify(void) { return dynamic_cast<wine>(water); }
#6590
<continuum> is there anything sweeter than the first few downloads once you switch to adsl?
<continuum> first sex, first drugs, first drink... don't think any compare to watching 12Mb d/l in like a second or two
#11264
<Saber> I had a full can of soda
<Saber> and I slipped
<Saber> and dropped it above my KB
<Saber> and I caught it
<Saber> but THOUGHT it was upside down
<Saber> so I inverted it
<Saber> and it turns out
<Saber> it was rightside up
#57685
< Kobi> i think i got the larvae off a stray cat i kept for a few days cause i carried it in my arms and thats where the breakout was
< Kobi> they have already came out twice in diarea
< gulagula> had nits on it?
< Kobi> yeah
< gulagula> damn
< gulagula> nits out the arse
< gulagula> makes me not want to leave the house in case I bump into someone like you
< gulagula> no offense
#30853
* RaphX deletes the sun
<RaphX> actually, I just closed the curtain
#15193
<jenn> canada is ned flanders to usa's homer simpson.
<slurpee> hahahahahahahah
<slurpee> so true
<slurpee> "hidely-hodely, neighborino!" "shut up, canada."
#19344
<Tac0> the bumpy road to silky smooth balls begins now! afk!
#9322
<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops
#49249
<Rev> AND MOVE TO JAPAN TO HAVE SEX WITH INFERIOR JAPANESE PENIS
<girlbad> so small
<Inferno> So, so small.
<[2-PosiDen]> So very small
<Inferno> American penis DINOSAURIC by comparison.
<Rev> Yet, like other small things in Japan, it can play over 3000 hours of music.
<[2-PosiDen]> American oenis monolithic
<Rev> And you can watch TV, and it has a wireless connection
#301836
<@PZT> "I want you to taste these," she panted as she unbuttoned her blouse, revealing two full-grown California grizzly bears. I was on the ground before it even clicked. I glanced upwards and wove my head to the left as a set of 2" claws plunged downward at me. They grazed the side of my face. It stung like hell. One of them was sitting on my left arm; I couldn't move. I felt around for the coat hanger she'd thrown to the floor just minutes ago. A careless move for an agent, I thought to myself. I twisted it around my wrist, forming a crude hook, and jabbed at the one on top of me. It rolled over, uttering primal groans of agony as blood dripped from its eyes. I slashed blindly to my left. I didn't break the fur, but it was enough. The second bear shifted its weight, and I was able to pry my arm free. Still half-naked, I grabbed the padlocked Armani suitcase and I stumbled out the motel room door.
<Scizor300> What the hell?
* Stoney is now known as Stonaway
<@PZT> I swore silently to myself as I dashed toward the dimly lit lobby. She'd been one of them all along. An agent. The Movement had warned me not to let down my cover, even for a minute. Why hadn't I listened? A prostitute, in the beat-down slums of Madrid? What was I thinking? Her name... Bertha. Bear-tha. She'd been dangling it in front of my face the entire night, but I had been too horny to listen. Or care, for that matter.
<+Mach> What the fuck?
<@PZT> I burst out the front door and ran down the street towards a departing bus. I didn't care where it was going; no human can outrun a hungry grizzly bear on foot. I heard screams behind me, followed by roars and a horrible gnashing sound. I stuck my good arm between the closing doors, pried them open and stepped on board. I threw a few coins at the flabbergasted bus driver and made my way to a seat, ignoring the similarly confused faces around me. It didn't matter to me; the honey was safe. That was all that mattered nowadays.
Comment: #armonte's_channel on irc.esper.net
#206352
<Vesper> msg NickServ IDENTIFY batcock
<StarShade> ...
<StarShade> I am going to assume that was intentional.
<StarShade> ANd that your password isn't really batcock.
#35042
<@penisbird> people at my school have a very annoying habit of puttin shit all over the cars in the parking lot
<@penisbird> like ribbons or fliers
<@penisbird> they tie ribbons to your antenna and they're impossible to take off w/o some sorta knife
<@penisbird> I should bring my UPS and connect the HOT wire to my car antenna
#298261
<fetsuto> before there was private browsing, i used to use internet explorer for porn so i wouldn't clutter up firefox's history
<fetsuto> now i get horny every time i open ie
#23245
<mAJ0RD> im so glad i spent $0 on office xp
#3835
<Rajio> my friend's such a bastard, he wouldn't let me get my quarter's worth with VF4, challenged me just for the sake of beating me :P then he did the same with tekken, but then i wipped paul out and owned his ass :P
<toNe> Rajio: paul? is that like a nickname for it?
#5113
<reub> if i ever met you guys in real life i would never touch your rulers
#59294
<Anan> My friend said those exams aren't too bad...as long as you know your stuff
<Si> thats like sayin walkin isnt hard as long as uve got legs
#25629
<@BhodiZzZz> cevik: help, my code won't compile and I don't know what's wrong!
BhodiZzZz (bhodi@dda9aaf9.net.hmsk) is now known as Bhodi
<cevik> well.. part of your problem appears to be that you were asleep when you wrote it.. ;)
#8658
<imsuxok> Maybe there'll be some breakthrough in internet technology
<imsuxok> I hear the powerline stuff is close to being released commercially
<imsuxok> I'm just worried that it'll overload the outlets in my old house. I don't feel like burning to death just so I can download porn faster.
#1341
<SPD-DMN> i wanna get a 6.5L turbo-diesel and like.. put it into a honda accord
<SPD-DMN> or is that.. put a honda accord into a 6.5L turbo-diesel?
#28941
* RuKK backs up LadyLia's brain
<RuKK> on dvdr ;x
<LadyLia> ;P
* RuKK makes slight changes
* phox pirates it
* phox writes RuKK a no clothes crack
#14217
<FL|Work> feck, forgot to pay my stupid tax
<Pi|Mu|Rho> you get taxed on stupid? That's going to be one hefty bill.
<marek> he could fund 3 new hospitals all by himself
#304056
<pherricoxide> walmart.. I tried to hack into their systems during my bored time
<pherricoxide> surprisingly didn't get very far
<pherricoxide> I did manage to screw up my badge once though
<pherricoxide> I entered my badge info into the item database
<pherricoxide> so when I tried to swipe my badge to log into things
<pherricoxide> it.. would display the price instead
-*- pherricoxide was worth $0.99
Comment: #wolf on irc.esper.net
#1610
<watashi-x> Oh my God! Are you attemping to DoS me?
<Polymer> WTF are you talking about dumb ass
<Polymer> I can't get into your MS-DOS