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#29731
<Breej> Hey.
<Jaayy> Breej do you molest little boys?
<Breej> no.
<Jaayy> SICK FUCKING PERVERTED FUCK!
<Jaayy> oh.
<Jaayy> You said no. My bad.
#301132
Meudi: Dude, I think I fell asleep
CSpatriot: Why do you think that?
Meudi: Because I woke up
#301993
<NH4NO3> So you spent $1500 on your computer that "is designed to run hot"?
<Tomazim> Precisely
<NH4NO3> Gee, I wish I that that kind of money to...
* NH4NO3 puts on his sunglasses.
<NH4NO3> Burn.
<tavaryn> YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#220556
<superlanb0y> to everyone : i bought awesome transformer today
<veganonymous> I bet you went into the store and was like "oh no this is for my kid"
<veganonymous> and they looked at your transformer shirt and were like
<veganonymous> "yeah sure dude sure"
<EHG> that's what I say when I go buy girls panties
#310732
<camel> > Do you have a full-time job? > No > We're sorry, you do not qualify for this survey.
<camel> Why the fuck would I be doing a $2 30 minute survey
<camel> if I had a full time job
#31559
<Dekkon> i dated a mormon once
<tito> was she wild in bed? i've heard that
<Dekkon> i think i fucked the mormon outta her
#118241
<Ves> Curt teh Juggler: our graduation ceremony was today, and right when some gamer nerd got his diploma, someone in the audience played the zelda "get item" music and he did the zelda spin-hold-out-item stance
<Ves> Curt teh Juggler: it was quite possibly the most amazing thing ever.
Comment: #dirt - Timboss
#31961
<terminal_> fuck i hate answering the phone here
<terminal_> "hello, planet earth"
#306373
Judith: I sleep face down because my nose gets cold.
You: So you can't breathe, but at least your nose is warm.
Judtih: NO, it's like swimming. You tilt your head when you want to breathe.
#9501
<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m
#7963
<Vhata> #linux is one of those...
<Vhata> things
<Vhata> what do you call a project that is no longer being maintained?
<Nimnod> a failure.
<Vhata> heh
#30339
<Krispy_Kreme> i'm an IRC n00b, how do you idle?
<Fenrir51> LOLOLOL
<Fenrir51> Rofl
<Krispy_Kreme> :(
Comment: Yep he was indeed a newbie.
#6132
<HrdwrBoB> un.. what's rl?
<un> isn't that what happens when you type brb?
<HrdwrBoB> no that's when I get food
#26285
<AL9000> I'm gonna make my girlfriend a valentine with the goatse man on it, and it will have a caption that reads "I love you thiiisss much!"
#37441
<@g> ive been cleaning my room on and off all day
<@g> got rid of like 6-7 bags of trash :x
<%Luffy> I've been thrusting all day...beat that ?.?
<@g> i dont want to beat anything of yours o.o
#31801
<Chiffy> hah
<Chiffy> I was at a local skateboard shop with my mom
<Chiffy> and I look up and see a deck with a picture of a drunk mexican screwing a crocodile and I laugh
<Chiffy> she looks up
<Chiffy> and mentions something like 'oh animal planet crocodile guy'
<Chiffy> it took about 5 seconds for her to go 'uh, wait'
#6742
<ProFessional_Widow> i have back stage asses
<ProFessional_Widow> passes
#10976
<Dryzzid{Nap}> So I wonder...do people in France, England, etc. measure their penises in the metric system?
<perianwyr> LET'S LOOK UP SOME UK GAY PORN AND FIND OUT
#1117
<hypr> WE IS TO CUT OFF ALL SUPPLIES OF VODKA TO YOUR SHITHOUSE COUNTRY
#5022
<theo-> ADSL.....is that some sort of learning difficulty?
#16398
<bix> it was like the flintstones
<mltj> but without the cars.
<mltj> or dinosaurs.
<mltj> or flintstones.
<bix> exactly.
#311220
<thebananaking> I'm sick and my cat died :(
<thebananaking> kidney stone, blocked bladder, no symptoms until too late
<thebananaking> he was a terrible cat, had no idea how to cat
<thebananaking> but I'll miss the little fucker
<thebananaking> there was a communications stuffup at the vet, and I got a followup call the next day to see how he was doing
<thebananaking> I couldn't help myself and said "well, he's not doing much..."
<thebananaking> I don't think I've ever heard anyone blush before
#28686
<Bank6000> What is the best way to approach a person who you are attracted to at a book store, library, animal shelter or football game shown on TV at a bar?
<CrustyNutz> You can do it put your ass into it!
<TheBrat> uummm personally just don't say some cheesy pick up line..
<xTrinityLuvx> yeah just be yourself
<speedracer> Kick her in the shin.
<speedracer> She'll remember you next time.
<Evil_Couch> zap her with a fucking tazer and then drag her back to your place
<Evil_Couch> by the time she wakes up, she'll be chained to your bed and she'll HAVE to love you or you'll cut her food ration in half.
#5746
<Udeth> my mother came in and demanded that I'd move shit off my floor, so she could wash my room tomorrow, because it smells rotten in here.
<Udeth> i can't smell shit.
<ToRMeNTeD> well if theres shit on the floor no wonder it smells rotten
#50923
<Tama|home> this is a real news article...
<Tama|home> WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Quaker Maid Meats Inc. on Tuesday said it would voluntarily recall 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef panties that may be contaminated with E. coli.