m.QDB.us

#34138
<youlepton> if they were asians, it would be r337

#311140
< m1dnight_> Jezus, these damn terrorists are blowing up half my
< m1dnight_> I was late for the university today.
< m1dnight_> Thank god I had to pass 2 bombsites on my way to the university. Not to mention the fact that my university was an actual target (immediate threat)
< m1dnight_> Man this stuff is surreal. People are texting me to ask me if I'm alive..
< m1dnight_> Even one guy "I knew I had to try IRC to contact you so I installed this mirc thing" :>>>

#30373
* [NYC] has joined #emu
<[NYC]> yo
<[NYC]> whats this channel for
<splice> making fun of people who ask legitimate questions

#311086
<hep> the children actually get mad at me a lot because i wont pay attn to them
<hep> MOM
<hep> PAY ATTN TO ME ONLINE
<hep> LOOK AT MY MEMES
<hep> LIKE MY SELFIES
<hep> like jfc kid
<hep> i have an online life too you know
<hep> this original content dont post itself

#18142
* DiscoFever ignores all you dicks
<Joelz> Good.
<Joelz> You shouldn't be looking at our penises anyway.

#38458
Ade: Yesterday
Ade: After I got off the computer
Ade: I had the weirdest experience.
Ade: I went out to take a walk with my lemonade.
Ade: And I didn't notice the sign next to my house
Ade: Which was that they were slurrying the street and it had to dry.
Ade: I went out bare-foot like I usually do.
Ade: And totally got stuck to the cement.
Ade: So I was out there
Ade: For like an hour
Ade: And some worker had to pull me out.
Hidatoshi: hahahaha
Ade: Totally sucked.
Hidatoshi: that's the greatest thing ive ever heard
Chexee: Me too.

#296552
<@Pryoidain> OH WHAT THE HELL
<@Pryoidain> I open up the server computer to do a hot swap
<@Pryoidain> theres a jar of fucking peanuts in there
<@Pryoidain> I've been looking for that jar for 3 days
<@Minako> XD
<@Pryoidain> I finally went out and bought another one
<@Pryoidain> now I find it
<@Minako> Why'd you put it in there. XD
<@Pryoidain> I snack on peanuts while I work. sometimes its just easier to have the peanuts IN the actual work area.
<@Pryoidain> although that habit has created for some interesting conversations with clients after I do server repairs
<@Pryoidain> "Uh yes, you repaired our server a few months back...and ever since then, the entire room has smelled like peanuts..." "err...oh...whoops"

#31891
<Derfud> what?
<Derfud> Goatse is dead!?
<Derfud> nooooooooooooooo
<LongHairedHippy> yes
<LongHairedHippy> i cried
<Derfud> the internet's favourite dialated anus is gone...
Comment: # desertcombat on gamesnet. RIP goatse

#298212
CoJaBo> Tho technicly, if its combusting at a subsonic rate, its called defloration..
RADiX> Thanks, Ill fix it on the way to class :)
! RADiX has quit (Leaving).
CoJaBo> *Deflagration, lol that would have been bad o_O
CoJaBo> uh-oh...

#2966
<FMJaguar> good, we don't have time for elitists here
* FMJaguar > all of you

#8463
<Ryk> after the man has shot his wad is the perfect time for the woman to vacate the room and quietly catch up on a bit of beaver bashing in the privacy of the kitchen.
<Tippytoes> shouldn't she have a satisfied afterglow?
<Ryk> she can glow when my dinner's ready.

#32506
<baryon> brb. I need a shower again, I stink
<emo> baryon: remember my advice
<baryon> god you're still here
<emo> you can significantly reduce the sourness of your body odour by refraining from meat eating
<cl4SS> emo fuck up about it. I'm sick of hearing your shit
<emo> I'm just saying
<baryon> emo, that's got nothing to do with it
<emo> baryon: it does actually. Several studies have shown so
<baryon> emo. I helped move four horses today. I am covered in dirt, dust and horse shit
<baryon> I stink because FOUR DAMNED VEGETARIANS SHIT ON ME

#307916
<@Sebas> Apparently I tried to go to sleep with my feet on the pillow because "then they'd get to be comfortable for a change, too"
<@Sebas> And when the girlfriend told me I'd suffocate then, I told her "No, because I'm James Bond"
<@Sebas> Which I later explained, after they told me this, was because James Bond is an under-cover agent.
<@Sebas> So obviously he wouldn't suffocate under the blankets.
<@nukespooon> ahahhaha
<@Sebas> EVEN WHEN I'M SHITFACED OUT OF MY MIND, I MAKE TERRIBLE PUNS

#53379
<Omnica> AH fuck me, I just told this 12 year old girl "haha my tounges long enough to touch my hose" trying to make nice conversatin with my girlfiends sister, she called me a pedo and blocked me fuck

#309588
< Dan39> does anyone else get annoyed by stuff that seems too highly abstracted... :|
< _habnabit> Dan39, like your question?
Comment: #python

#35692
<Roscoe> show me a cisco config
<Roscoe> and were talkin
* Amun pulls down pants
* Amun shows roscoe his cisco config
* Roscoe sees your running a small pipe
Comment: geeked

#7839
<rob`> I mean, who would have thought that blood congeals into a pudding? :9

#304713
<egreos> you know you're a nerd when you watch porn and pause it to see what textbooks the schoolgirl is carrying so you can judge her attractiveness based on her subjects.
<egreos> she was apparently studying "dictionary", so i turned it off.
<egreos> if it had been a physics book I would have been all over that shit.

#30295
<Araldite> Pentium make the BEST hard drives.

#61619
<@hkyhds> terminal is playing: Rage Against the Machine - Bullet in the Head (01:56/05:09)
<+Jimmothy> ::: #geekissues - We Don't Give A Fuck (About Your Shit Taste Mix) : 00:09 : 167kbps : Untitled CDS : 2006 :::

#22932
<sampson> rad, that link crashed my browser in the middle of booking a flight
<sampson> EXCELLENT
<sampson> THANKS!
<aves2k> sorry if your browser doesn't support new Internet technologies
<aves2k> like JPG

#35083
<minion> what should i get for lunch
<minion> i have $4
<keef> 8 packs of ramen and a 3 dollar hooker

#5022
<theo-> ADSL.....is that some sort of learning difficulty?

#302272
<Legion|work> hm
<Legion|work> so the b3ta newsletter describes a theory that all film titles are funnier if you substitute one of the words with "sausage" or "sausages"
<Legion|work> I submit for your consideration "Sausage in 60 Seconds" and "The Green Sausage"
<Mac^Work> Terminator 2: Sausage Day
<Legion|work> "Sausages on a Plane"
<Niyx> Harry Potter and the Philosopher's sausage
<Mac^Work> Alice in Sausageland gives a whole new outlook on teh film...
<Legion|work> PMSL
<Legion|work> "The Lion, the Witch and the Sausage"?
<Legion|work> (I'd prefer "The Witch, the Wardrobe and the Sausage" but I think that's cheating)
<^RaK^> The Sausage in the Willows ?
<Legion|work> A Beautiful Sausage
<Mac^Work> How to train your sausage
<Legion|work> Buffalo Sausages
<Legion|work> (or alternatively Sausage Soldiers, which is perhaps even better)
<Mac^Work> Hot Tub Sausage Machine
<Legion|work> Sausage for Private Ryan
<Niyx> Sausage Club
<Legion|work> Sausage at Tiffany's?
<Mac^Work> Furry sausage
<Niyx> There's something about sausage
<Legion|work> Iron Sausage / Sausage Man
<Niyx> The men who stare at sausages
<Legion|work> WINNER!

Random | Latest | Best | Full Site