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#9148
<midi> if you find some poor idiot with his tongue stuck to the rail
<midi> with a train coming and decide that you really don't wanna see
<midi> him splat, a convenient source of warm mostly-clean saltwater
<midi> is indeed your bladder...
<midi> (or so said one of my scoutmasters...)
<Squeedle> midi: though they might just rip their tongue off trying to
<Squeedle> get away from a scoutmaster pulling his pants down at them
<midi> squee: either way, he gets his tongue off the track. and if
<midi> you're lucky, you get to piss in an idiot's face.
<midi> it's cathartic and good karma. how cool is that?
<Squeedle> well hey, what more can you ask for
<hoche> o/~ hey baby, if you'll be my dog, i'll be your tree, and you
<hoche> can pee on me! o/~
<Squeedle> schadenfreude: A malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of
<Squeedle> others
<midi> which is kinda neat. you get a choice between letting natural
<midi> selection work or pissing in the idiot's face. it's win-win.
#4349
<Sharkey> I've been told I should be a phone sex operator.
<Sharkey> Which gender hasn't been specified.
<Xerox> I've been told I should be a phone sex caller.
<Sharkey> Keep reaching for that rainbow.
<Kashan> he's waiting for your call
#32206
<rosonowski> Hah! I love slashdot sometimes.
<rosonowski> You know the old manta "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity?"
<rosonowski> Someone replied to it "If you know of a better way to make more virgins, I'd like to hear it."
#61111
<farce> i was at a strip club and this hot little mexican girl showed me she was lactating
<feti> and you're like, put that shit back.
<farce> hell no.
<CJB2K686> you sucked ?
<farce> hell yeah.
Comment: efnet/#php
#297328
Zous: so the other day on my way to work, I walked by a couple people who were taking a smoke break outside of the building
Zous: as I was walking by I heard one say "You know, I hear Splenda's supposed to be really bad for you"
#34786
<p2p> I was reading some thing this morning about a new condom with a built-in vibrator
<shxrobert> oh great the rubber that makes you come as you put the fucker on
<p2p> the downside is you have to shove the AA battery up your ass
<Gollie> downside?
#34652
<ikkenai> wtf.
<ikkenai> talking to dig dug is like meeting a celebrity
<ikkenai> only lame
Comment: #geekissues
#17944
<Jarp> i am 19 years old
<Jarp> the big 2.0, if ya add up the numerals
#35308
<davvinc> hi can anyone help me with a problem with my msn?
<%Segosa> ok.. what's wrong
<davvinc> my daughter put a pic on my msn page and i want to get it off
<%Segosa> ...
<%Segosa> ooh
<%Segosa> how old is your daughter?
<davvinc> 14
<%Segosa> ooh
<%Segosa> got pictures?
#297440
<w0rm> i actually found this chat becuase CNN advertised it
<Magami_Yuuji> CNN advertised a IRC channel?
<w0rm> yes the were showing some twitter messages earlier and i saw this chan
<werdnativ> worm, I think CNN were referring to the twitter hashtag, not irc channel...
<w0rm> probably but this is how i found this chan
Comment: #iranelection
#50234
Ryozen: How's it going?
MinisterlnBlack: not too shabby
MinisterlnBlack: waiting for someone to come pick up my broken ass car
MinisterlnBlack: heh
Ryozen: Doh, that sucks
Ryozen: What happened to it?
MinisterlnBlack: there was an accident.
MinisterlnBlack: ::cough::
Ryozen: Heh, did you kill anyone?
MinisterlnBlack: nah, the sorority girl in front of me got lucky
MinisterlnBlack: heh
Ryozen: You rear-ended a sorority girl? *cough*
MinisterlnBlack: haha
MinisterlnBlack: man, my accident just got 10x cooler.
#30552
<Summoner> Archimedes, Newton and Pascal are playing Hide&Seek.
<Summoner> Archimedes is counting down, Pascal takes off and hides, but Newton takes few steps, turns around, comes behind Archimedes,puls aout a chalk, makes a square 1 meter by 1 meter and steps in it.
<Summoner> Archimedes finishes counting, turns around and, praise the Lord, sees him immideatly:
<Summoner> - A-Ha, Newton!!!
<Summoner> Newton smiles and says:
<Summoner> - No, this is Newton per sqare meter, and that's Pascal.
#28664
<Sight^> crap
<Sight^> I just got a D in spanish today
<Sight^> ever since I gave up drugs my spanish grades has been only D's and E's
#19307
<Monsoon`> grrr
<Monsoon`> WHERE IS BROADBAND WHEN YOU WANT IT?
<Monsoon`> poor little dialup is brought to its knees by pr0n like that
<Monsoon`> whatever happened to thumbnails leading to larger images?
<skitz> Monsoon`: doesnt work like that with porn. thumbnails lead to ads
<Monsoon`> it didn't used to be that way
<skitz> you're doing a "back in the day" rant for PORN?! christ
#74549
<cached> What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a seal?
<cached> A polar bear.
#261856
<Bobsentme> So, at work, HR decided to put up signs with some of the classic monsters (Frankenstein, The Mummy, Wolfman, etc) and slogans like "You'll get wrapped up in reading blah, blah, blah" and "Reading is electrifying" for halloween
<Bobsentme> Well, apparently, they also decided to put up, on the wall outside the cafeteria a whole timeline of GLBT contributions throughout history
<Bobsentme> GLBT = Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered.
<Bobsentme> So, as I'm walking down the hall, I look over at the GLBT wall, not really paying a lot of attention, until I get to the end...
<Bobsentme> Where someone had placed one of the HR halloween signs, with the Boogeyman on it, that read "Have you checked YOUR closet lately?"
#23967
<Apocalypz> this ftp i leeched from at school said it had porn and i was like yay
<Apocalypz> then i got home and theres loadsa feet and midgets in the porn
<Apocalypz> i felt like crying
<Apocalypz> then i started laughing at the naked midget instead
#28473
<andypandy7> she is uber nice, http://koti.mbnet.fi/bleach/pebat/Ass_058.html
<andypandy7> her ass is perfect, and her tits
<Shekkie> yar
<andypandy7> man if i could fuck her it would be so cool
<Octo> u cant get a chick like that even in your dreams
<andy|> ur so right aswell :(
<Octo> me neither...but feck it..
<andy|> i couldnt even dream fucking her cause my brain would say "no way loser"
#16657
<@drew> saceist is a kind of person who always has that dumb look on his face.
<@saceist> huh?
#1595
<k-rad-bob> i think we need to like develop a bit further as persons
<Prae_> just as i thought
<k-rad-bob> i cant imagine what life would be like with no arms at all
<k-rad-bob> irc'ing with a spoon in your mouth
<Prae_> LOL
<k-rad-bob> no masturbating
<k-rad-bob> spending life on a quest for weird chicks who'd pittyfuck you
<k-rad-bob> or like team up with a legless chick
<k-rad-bob> imagine the sex
#8875
<GoodScrat> my gf is twice your age
<db-x> goodscrat, twice is about the time i get her in a week
<GoodScrat> to do what, change your diaper?
#48605
<Trinity_Quasar> Quick, give me your extended (a few sentences) views on teen pregnancy for my socio work it's due in tomorrow. :-/!
<LionsPhil> "I think teen pregancy is largely due to unpreparedness. Much like the kind of unpreparedness which sees one writing an essay the night before it is due and having to ask for help on the Internet."
#29473
<xpro> sweet, just found 13$ in some dirty pants
<pimp> who was wearing them?
#6924
<zed> I LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER I LIKE TOAST AND JAM SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING AND THATS WHY I LIKE CRACK
<zed> IIIII LOVE CRACK
<zed> FROM MY HEAD DOWN TO MY BACK
<zed> ALMOST AS MUCH AS IIIIIII LOVE EGGS
<zed> FROM MY HEAD DOWN TO MY LEGS
<zed> BUT I DONT REALLY LOVE EGGS
<zed> WELL, I LOVE THEM, BUT IN THE WAY A MAN WOULD LOVE A FINE CUBAN CIGAR
<Nelson> zed; wtf song is that?
<zed> Nelson, IT'S EGG PROPAGANDA MUSIC
#307034
<Stormgren> Also, these things have rogue AP mitigation strategies, mostly involving telling the rogue to STFU over and over.
<c0nsumer> cisco's got some darned slick stuff for doing campus wireless
<Stormgren> Yeah, and I was off, it's worse than that.
<Stormgren> If told to contain a rogue AP, it DoSes the clients to death
<Stormgren> We could have some fun experimenting with this
<melstav> that's.... useful
<Stormgren> It basically sends deauth and deassociate messages to the rogue's detected clients.
<melstav> better that than trying to flood 'em
<Stormgren> I now really want to set up a 802.11g raw-frame capture and watch this in action. I never get to play with this functionality at work at that level.
<melstav> wait. the upstream network can tell an arbitrary wlan router to deauth a client? or is it telling the nic to disconnect?
<Stormgren> melstav, it's blowing frames out of the radios
<myself248> Stormgren: If one were to drop one of those APs in a bucket with 48v worth of batteries, would it run standalone and just keel, keeel, keeeeeeel anything that moves?
<Stormgren> Good question
<myself248> I think I smell a new sport.
<myself248> Because occasional deauth frames would consume less power than active jamming, AND be part-15 compliant, to boot.
<Stormgren> As far as I know, you need a controller
<myself248> Damn. that's harder to strap onto a stationkeeping quadcopter.
<myself248> DEAUTH FROM ABOVE