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#23436
<Dark_Veteran> afk stopping housemate burn the house down
#107607
<TLC> My friend went in for an op on his hand, and they sent him for a shower and to put these paper pants and a gown on.
<TLC> Wondering what that piece of string on the pants was as he struggled to get them on, suddenly a nurse burst in
<TLC> trying to hide his modesty he realised that that bit of string he thought was either on the pants or the gown was the emergency pull cord
#23956
<kharma> I just found out that XP is the Christian monogram made from the first two letter of the Greek word for Christ.
<kharma> Just another sign that Bill Gate's is trying to be God.
#78733
*Dravas has quit IRC
<Caprisun> im gonna take a video of me fucking that girl he likes
<PS31791> O_O
<PS31791> that would suck
<PS31791> if i saw that
<PS31791> id be like
*Takumi has joined #main
<PS31791> from now on im gonna be gay
<PS31791> ...
<PS31791> Takumi... i can explain...
<Caprisun> XD
#8762
<Afterglow> tom what's the wallop command for mirc? you know?
<relapse> slash onotice i am gay
#8893
<Nutter> This is what our secretary just said on the phone
<Nutter> "Hi, got Anal Fire Brigade on the phone for you..."
#60331
<brisbane> I got a knock on my door and as i was expecting a girlfriend I was naked, I opened it and it was two Jehova Witnessees. Needless to say they didnt stay long and never came back.
#2385
<Kazz> Are you coming on to me?
<Dregan> With a spelling change.
<Dregan> And perhaps without the 'to'.
#309905
<Science> Quite frankly I'm kinda sick of the cats
<Science> Picture of cats have exactly zero appeal to me. So seeing half a channel go "No One Cares. At All CATS" is pretty annoying.
<Science> This channel isn't about looking at fucking cats
-!- Randall changed the topic of #xkcd to: This channel is about looking at fucking cats.
<Science> Ok now it's about cats
<Science> Carry on
#5303
<@atarax> DrConway: Some kid told me a couple days ago "They just came out with internet 7.0"
#50695
novwithabullet: man, now I have SMB2 music stuck in my head
Deuz MA: hahaha
Deuz MA: duh-nuh-nuh-nuh duh-nuh-nuh-nuh duh-nuh-nuh-nuh DOO DOO
doo doo do dittle doo, doo doo do dittle do ..
novwithabullet: oh man, you got that spot on
Deuz MA: LOL
novwithabullet: and then there's bum-ba da dum dum ba-dum ba da dum
Deuz MA: hahahaha
Deuz MA: i totally know what one that is
novwithabullet: I like to think of SMB2 as the first mario-party game
Deuz MA: I'm trying to think of how to write the boss music
novwithabullet: it's too fast
novwithabullet: dudududududu DU DU dududududududu DU DU
#4715
<@Spidey> you can get stamps anywhere
<@Spidey> grocery store, convenient store
<@Spidey> ;[
<@Spidey> -t+ce?
<@josho> setting modes on your sentences again, addict?
#32460
<@splice> got my homestead exemption taken care of this morning, i should get a nice refund on le taxes
<@D-viant> le taxes??? Did you move to le canada?
<@D-viant> or are you just feeling le fruity this morning?
#32555
* CyberDas waits for this thank you master :/
* CyberDas was kicked by CapAtMoms (thank you master)
* Joins: CyberDas
<CyberDas> I'm telling!! put your mom on the pc right now!
<CapAtMoms> k
* CapAtMoms is now known as CapsMom
<CapsMom> hello
<CyberDas> he kicks me and calls me a wanker
<CyberDas> Cap's mom I think you should cut off his internet for a month
<CapsMom> if he called you a wanker you obviously deserved it
<CapsMom> now piss off you little wanker
<CyberDas> :o
* Quits: CyberDas
#10767
<angie> yea, finally finished moving all my stuff in today.
<guyen> can't be that bad, she's pretty hot. i could tap dat azz all day
<guyen> godamn i need a picture of her so i can at least jerk off to it
<angie> isn't she in your class, just stare at her with your photographic memory.
<guyen> believe me i do, she's got an azzzzzzz
<angie> she's also right behind me.
<guyen> are you serious?
<angie> yea. she says you're pretty cute too. says you should have the balls to ask her out though.
<guyen> um, will you go out with me?
<angie> she says yes. pick her up tomm 7:30 after her evening class, she wants to see kate and leopold or whatever.
<guyen> are you kidding me? holy shit! im calling your house now
<angie> no i'm just fucking with you.
<guyen> your're a bitch you know that
<angie> i know.
#30379
<|Wolf|> I can cook
<|Wolf|> as long as theres instructions on the box
<Xaignar> 1) Remove wrapping 2) Microwave until edible, which is never
Comment: #jack
#61958
< shad0w1e> hmm sleepydog, you said that reiserfs would only be faster in some "extreme" situations
< shad0w1e> would you consider KDE booting up to be an extreme situation?
#61545
<+DaDead> are you hot?
< sadaiy> if i was hot i wouldn't be looking for friends over the net
#294948
Mom: thanks to your status message, you can say good nite to the internet
*** Auto-response sent to Mom: I'm busy because my mom's being a nazi. Sieg Heil.
#15848
<Jabberwocky> I made a life-sized Battlemech out of legos. I would have taken over the city too, if I hadn't run out of 2x4s for autocannon rounds.
#2718
<Furan> the only 2 types of women that don't bitch and moan are gifs and jpgs
#53098
<zmeiat_joro> soo..is it dangerous to use audioscrobbler/last/fm if you listen to a few things you haven't actually bought
<orospakr> nah
<orospakr> I doubt it
<shen> it is!
<orospakr> is it?
<shen> I tried using audioscrobbler with some songs that I downloaded
<shen> and I fell down the stairs.
#1128
~ iiSII has a bump on the very edge of his eyelid.
(tektrnica) maybe it is a tumour
(letty) or an ingrown toenail
#4134
<Scofco> just because i like hairless chicks with small tits, and that are younger than me, does not make me a pedophile
<Scofco> it makes me borderline pedophile
#50524
<celti> When your life is going down the drain, it's best not to turn on the garbage disposal.