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#1681
<_|LoCo|> any1 know whats the last album of paul oakenfold?
<al-x> Paul Oakenfold Presents Another Shitty ALbum With All The Same Tracks As the Last 3 Albums
#302077
<ssar> Fuck... saw the girl who lived across the street from me at this dinner party.
<ssar> I had always watched her through her window and shit... but man she just got even hotter.
<ssar> Of course the urge to approach her was strong, but I'm pretty sure a line that one should never use as an icebreaker is "Hey what's up? I used to stalk you."
#55997
<Porque> So, per usual, my town is filled with rednecks.
<Porque> Needless to say, this makes the day more interesting when there's a dead deer in the middle of the road.
<Porque> Since there's such little traffic going through here every day, a deer died in the middle of the road. The bus driver pulls over by it, and I'm sitting there going "wtf are you waiting for, move the damn carcass".
<Porque> So we end up waiting for about a minute. I'm still sitting there, stunned by the stupidity, when this redneck BLAZES down the street in his truck, stopping on a dime right by us. The guy hops out with a chainsaw, revs it. HE SAWS THE HORNS OFF OF THE DEER AND LEAVES THE BODY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.
<Porque> Turns out someone on the bus called the guy on a cellphone and let him know.
#42967
<+Sekkira> the OS is popping at me
<+Maeg> popping?
<+Maeg> that's what happens when you heat up the kernel
Comment: #knet @ irc.rizon.net
#133888
(@Hezzy) it pisses me off knowing that i'm probably having one of the worst days in my entire life and some faggot somewhere is having the best day of his
(@Hezzy) fucking arsehole, whoever he is
#80430
<Rocky> awesome! script done
<Rocky> simple but useful know what i mean?
<Rocky> if you type !song, you can view what i'm listening to
<Rocky> try it
<Rocky> oh shit wait
<Siege> !song
* Rocky is dancing to brazilian gal fucks horse MUST-SEE awesome porn slut rape bitch bestiality hot porno jpg mpg mpeg jpeg great scat whore [53:24m/371Kbps/44KHz]
* Quits: Rocky (grapes@40597861.8D6CA4AC.718E664C.IP) (Quit: )
Comment: irc.cheatlist.com #warez
#9241
<@SwiftEdge> when i get my new comp I can play network games
<@SwiftEdge> but seeing as i have no friends i will have to run fast back and forth between the two
#297968
[carbine] Uh oh. Foxconn employee killed himself after losing an iPhone prototype
[errata4q] wtf?
[errata4q] is that the macworld article?
[wliao] it's on wired as well
[carbine] You know what this means?
[carbine] NEW IPHONE ON THE WAY!
[carbine] Woo!
#64908
<Draconx> codered, aplay < /dev/urandom
<kepstin> if you hear noise, it works
<codered> oh FUCK
<codered> that was loud
<codered> I woke up my gf....
<codered> I think I just shit my pants
#143212
<AllAgesDave> There are two seniors in here reading a copy of A Catcher in the Rye, and debating the meaning of the word "illiterate."
<AllAgesDave> One is saying it means "literature" and the other says it means "insane".
<Dre> :-[
<AllAgesDave> They just decided upon "language." Fuck my generation.
#307804
<@timmo> i have found that smartphones have kept me from drunk texting ugly girls
<@timmo> due to their face popping up in every text
#49559
<Jakl> oh god that was not good
<Jakl> okay so my balls were itching right
<rat> I don't like the way this is sounding...
<Jakl> they wouldn't quit so i went into my wifes bathroom and got some anti-itch cream
<Jakl> i squeeze some out of the tube and apply it to my sack
<Jakl> it starts burning, and within seconds i feel like my balls are going to melt off
<Jakl> istarted screaming and my wife ran in and was like "what's wrong?!"
<Jakl> i explain my situation and she starts cracking up
<Jakl> as i'm standing there nearly in tears she grabs the tubee and points to the ingredients
<Jakl> the cream was mentholated
<rat> rofl
<Jakl> my nuts are still burning even after a shower
<Jakl> but the itching stopped
#35815
<doughboyy> Now Playing: Billy Talent - The Ex
<Theo> Now Playing: Velvet Revolver - Slither
<Kao> Now Playing: With my cock
#117
<CrazyDe> some dude on ebay is threatening to sue me for copyright infringement
<Guilty> Did you claim to be the Real Slim Shady?
#15810
<Jon-> they need to put some quality warez and movies on microsoft.com
<Jon-> i get about 800k a sec from them
#4695
<zathras> This game of rhymes is eating at my brain, I beg of thee, sir, for the love of god, refrain!
<Deliphos> I cannot! In my blood it doth runneth! Hush thee now, lest I cap with my gunneth!
#7138
<Prior_Tuck> We had a real Pron king at eaton though. He wad a 30 gig HD full of pron. He requests a new Hard Drive. We suspected he was downloading. He refused to give us his PC, but we insisted to take it...to install the new drive. I took his ten times embedded folder and clicked delete. Put the harddrive in my PC and gave hi his PC back. I told him his cache was full. hes got plenty of room
#18766
<EmperorVlad[EE]> man skorp
<EmperorVlad[EE]> you know what
<EmperorVlad[EE]> i hate you
<EmperorVlad[EE]> i hate you with a passion
<EmperorVlad[EE]> like that really evil kinda hate
<fragk> love-hate relationships are funny ;)
<EmperorVlad[EE]> where they guy is taking up both lanes
<EmperorVlad[EE]> and u just want to run him off the road
<EmperorVlad[EE]> into the little school children
<EmperorVlad[EE]> and like him flip over a canyon
<EmperorVlad[EE]> but not die
<EmperorVlad[EE]> but just lay there in pain
<EmperorVlad[EE]> for about a month or so
<EmperorVlad[EE]> cause i would shoot anyone that came near u to help
<EmperorVlad[EE]> yeah
<EmperorVlad[EE]> i love to hate skorp :)
<fragk> ...
<fragk> you may now kiss the bride
#20007
* +Dejiko_nyo modded his toaster
<+Vassago> you can play burned pop tarts on it now?
#298889
<fahadsadah> "Free delivery on orders over £25 when collecting in store" < asda.co.uk
#144982
<dogan> yeah I saw a guy dressed as Cats at a costume party once
<dogan> didn't know what to say to him
<zuu> how about "it's you."
#5691
<Daidoji> speaking of old nes games, I recall carrying out clandestine operations in terms of game rentals
<Daidoji> for example, renting a copy of dragon warrior 4, and swapping the chip with urban champion.
<Daidoji> I bet there are 5 or 6 kids who think dragon warrior 4 is the worst vs fighting game ever made
#41070
<DJvenom> ::::) spiderman
#307584
<SightUnseen> last time i had a dream was the beginning of last year. i dreamed about waking up, eating breakfast, and going to school. then my alarm went off and i woke up, ate breakfast, and went to school. i must have the creativity of a tree stump. :P
#2378
(rageboy) ok let me give you a hypothetical situation
(rageboy) and you tell me if you would be mad
(rageboy) you are having a house party..
(rageboy) and you come home.. everyone is still partying
(rageboy) and one of your friends is having sex on your bathroom sink
(rageboy) would you kick him outta your house?
(vrs) is he a good friend
(vrs) ?
(rageboy) yeah
(vrs) do you like the girl?
(rageboy) no no..
(rageboy) i was the one fucking