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#20670
<|DeadPan|> I dont get drunk
<|DeadPan|> i am in control of my faculties
<PT-Away> thats cause your a moron
<PT-Away> err mormon
<Terry> same shit
#15677
<ktmguy> Ray from Pac Bell: "Yeah, I can't get this line up."
<ktmguy> Voice in Background at Pac Bell: "Ray, are you sure we're supposed to
be hearing your personal problems?"
#38807
< x136> !8ball --help
<@ChanServ> x136: In your dreams.
#1681
<_|LoCo|> any1 know whats the last album of paul oakenfold?
<al-x> Paul Oakenfold Presents Another Shitty ALbum With All The Same Tracks As the Last 3 Albums
#6197
<barkode:#916> i'm a fan of real time irc.
<barkode:#916> not this playing-chess-via-postal-mail-to-uzbekistan irc strategy kubla has
#246478
<celeste> that is my least favorite thing in the whole world
<ilanbg> what?
<celeste> that everytime i try to be intimidating or mean you just think it's cute!
<ilanbg> dude, how did you think calling me a "meany butt" could be intimidating or mean
#193949
<Zachary> someone gave me an engraved rock for my birthday with ZACHERY on it
<Zachary> I mean first off you just gave me a fucking rock for my birthday
<Zachary> and then my name is on it and it's misspelled
<Zachary> of course maybe that was just the name of the rock
#303118
<fbcash> has anyone here flashed their xbox before?
<warbucks> no, but I once showed my dick to a nintendo DS
#10034
<duckman> do you say gash?
<A|exander> not in polite company
<IonSurge> haha
<IonSurge> who here is polite company?
<A|exander> oops typo
<A|exander> meant police custody
#299753
<Reilithion> If yhou make a typo, like I just did, it's because somewhere on the net, someone else also made a typo of the opposite nature. In this case, somebody is missing an 'h' somewhere in one of their messages.
<bomb> wow, tat's an interesting theory
#54998
<KArmA> just overheard in the office "look man its not an exact science. We don't have any formal QA procedures that say 'if the customer sets the box up like a complete assworshiping rimjobber fucktard with a button pushing fetish then subsystems A, B, C and 12 will break horrifically'"
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#1375
[Fustard] I just walked out into the living room today
[Fustard] and my mom just randomly went
[Fustard] 'the dog has been masturbating too much, ive never seen it that big'
#295273
<%Friedrich_Engels> i'm fairly convinced a ghost did not steal your weed
#22024
<MrWhippy> it's raining, it's pouring.. the old man is... HOLY SHIT HE IS BEATING OFF! FFS THATS HORRID!
#311245
<nacht> I sold body armor in a rite aid parking lot yesterday.
<Naraka> I love everything about that.
<nacht> Ohio ftw
<nacht> Are you a felon? No? Here buy this AK and 2000 rounds out of my trunk.
#38636
<MAD> "Linux turns 13 today"
<bassgoon> dude, lets try to coerce it in to meeting us so we can have sex with it
<MAD> agreed
<MAD> you get sloppy seconds though
#532
<kisama> i've spent my last 5 new year's on either irc or aol
#20010
<RangerRick> wireless means never having to say, "AFK, bathroom"
#18047
<BladeXT> hehe www.geekissues.org is a pretty cool site
<Videl17> wtf does Gee Kiss Ues mean?
<BladeXT> *sigh*
#35206
<Rjx> I seriously need to take a piss
<Rjx> but the door is blocked up
<Neon[UK]> why?
<Rjx> bats
<Rjx> got to keep them out
<Rjx> I may have to pee out the window
Comment: #geekissues
#2166
<grey> wow
<grey> i didn't realise afghanistan had enough infrastructure for two nights' worth of air attacks
#19736
* eMeow-v2 reads ircnews.com and cries
<sjh> what is ircnews.com
<eMeow-v2> sjh: god I am pissing in my pants
<sjh> cause really it sounds like a bigger waste of bandwidth than irc itself
<eMeow-v2> sjh: it is
<eMeow-v2> sjh: credibility of slashdot, looks of microsoft.com, and sanity of geocities
<sjh> you do realise the three sites you just used for that example are interchangable within the example for the same effect
<eMeow-v2> sjh: what I just said is "sucks x3"
#9526
<MadMax> press the Alt key.
<MadMax> Once.
<MadMax> press the left arrow key
<MadMax> Once
<MadMax> press the down arrow key
<MadMax> then you should get a list...
<MadMax> ?
<MadMax> that works for me at least..
<Altariel> that takes me into the tools menu
<MadMax> which left are you going 8p
<Altariel> oh fuck
#19812
<whitelightning> suck my nipples
<teh-kitteh> WL: huh?
<BlackIce> wl: ask geo
<teh-kitteh> he's at work though iceh :)
* whitelightning runs off for Geo
<whitelightning> wow!
<whitelightning> he's got a mouth like a hoover
<BlackIce> wl
<BlackIce> that's not geo
<BlackIce> that's a hoover
#30545
<aphr0> FUCK
<aphr0> I got a cookies and snickers bar
<aphr0> isntead of cookies and m&m
<aphr0> piss fuck whores
<aphr0> god cocks
<aphr0> death
Comment: #couch on EFnet