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#41956
<@zeleftikam> yeah so on friday i installed this hard-disk MP3 player in the trunk on this new passat
<@zeleftikam> i think, while i was upside down in the trunk, my cell phone fell out of my pocket, and i sealed it in the trunk trim
<@zeleftikam> it's GONE
<@mitch> ha
<@mitch> nice work
<@zeleftikam> thx
#8560
<@xpro> sweet, just found 13$ in some dirty pants
<@pimp> who was wearing them?
#35270
<elburrito> funny how you will always find a girl to watch you wank on your webcam, but hardly ever find a girl willing to wank on hers
Comment: #geekissues
#68620
<Vulpyne> in my enlish class we were doing this mad lib type things
<Vulpyne> the teacher asked for a proper noun and i said Pamela Anderson
<Vulpyne> part of it ended up being "This horse should be good for racing. It's father was Seabiscuit and it's mother was Pamela Anderson"
#1012
<@neoblaze> I fell over in a heterosexual fashion
#59188
<phlip> I wear it from time to time... I don't usually think about what I'm wearing, just whichever shirt is on top of the pile ;)
<lisa> lol
<lisa> typical male i see
<phlip> well, it makes more sense than the alternative...
<phlip> I mean, who picks the shirt from the bottom of the pile every day? that's just stupid
#8997
<ChibiLion> i think girls should have the right to show as much or as little of their own body as they want..
<EnZeRuMei> so if there any girls in this nice yet weird chan PLEASE for men's sake DONT EVEN PUT CLOTHES ON ( thongs allowed ) ( Only pretty girls )
<ChibiLion> thats not what i ment >.<
#103238
<Fathom> Zoe: Would you prefer a woman with a healthy amount of body, or some calista flockhartish hussy who eats a few lettuce leaves for lunch every day?
<Zoe> I prefer men, quite frankly
#6761
<Domino> what are you doing?
<Elenkis> eating and drinking and being merry
<Elenkis> well, eating and dirnking anyway
<Elenkis> dirnking
<Elenkis> ...
<Elenkis> drinking
<Elenkis> and typing too fast
#92959
<matt> i had chinese food last night
<matt> it wasn't that good
<matt> so then i go to the bathroom this morning
<matt> and, after a less-than-pleasant experience
<matt> the toilet overflows when i flush.
<matt> so, my first thought is "oh SHIT"
<matt> then my second thought is "heh, yeah, shit, like literally too"
<matt> but then my third thought:
<matt> java.lang.ToiletOverflowError;
<matt> yeah
<matt> i hated myself too
#8673
<X-man> i had a comp sci teacher that named her dog scsi
<X-man> i felt bad for it
#295400
<Dutch> I've a girl coming over tomorrow to have sex with in my room
<Dutch> what should i tell my mother
<Dutch> so she don't suspect us doing naughty thing?
<Emma> if she doesn't want you to shag in HER house, she's the one who needs to be respected
<Dutch> my plan is telling my mother she is interested in playing some new video games on my computer
<Dutch> would that work?
<Foxhill> what if your mum runs in with a copy of wii bowling and an extra controller and you're busy getting a groinal spitbath?
<Foxhill> it could happen..
#7598
<Felix1> lud, as a 'gag' somebody set our air con on 44 degrees
<Felix1> brother is on the critical list, We lost Mum on the operating table, Dad never regained consiousness and our dogs corneas melted down her face
#309782
<@Taryn> some people apparently think that taxes are EVIL!!!! and that the ideal rate is 0%
<@Taryn> these people have never played SimCity
<@Taryn> (seriously, SimCity was what helped me understand why taxes exist)
<@NWH> <Fox News> Will Wright is a filthy godless liberal!
<@Taryn> lol
<@Treeki> there should be a libertarian SimCity
<@Treeki> it would be exactly like regular SimCity, but all the buttons would be disabled
<@Treeki> except for zooming and moving around
#16148
<Yeo> BEER IS LIQUID BREAD IT'S GOOD FOR YOU
#56632
<@irokie> why with the weeping? are you a woman in the throes of birth?
< Plastic> ;_;
< Inky> Apparently so!
<@brazil> ;_;o <-- I can see th head
<@irokie> ...he's giving birth out his ear?
Comment: #netsoc
#141263
<swight> "DARPA Advances AI Program For Air Traffic Control"
<swight> C`mon they GOTTA call that SkyNet
<jonathans> haha
<jonathans> yeah
<jonathans> It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are at the arrival gate.
#7774
<chaowork> dont singe the wenis
<faustwork> yeah, nude bacon cooking is tricky
<chaowork> i hear thats gonna be in the next olympics
<faustwork> you should see how i flip it over
#54437
<xgamer04> I really hate MSN messenger. I wish people would use something else.
<DRAGONX6> I don't think it matters what chat program you use
<DRAGONX6> everyone's going to be away anyways
#30770
(@Clitos) hungry for weiners?
(@tyree) fuck i could take a hot dog or two
(@Clitos) in the ass?
(@tyree) no
(@tyree) i like to swallow
#56189
<thefwf> I'm gonna go slit wrists
<thefwf> brb
<pritch> k
<pritch> wait that's bad for you
<pritch> and emo
<thefwf> Who said I'm doing it to my wrists?
#1675
<MrWizard> do you even have one story where you dont smoke weed?
<priz> hmmmm i really dont think so, heh
<priz> well, actually one time catlord had to EAT a joint before we could smoke it cuz the cops were after us
#32099
<^gangster> jalljo: and btw, whats marijuana?
<jalljo> its a hacker term.
#8810
<Sarkazein> i was STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN drunk
<Sarkazein> and she wanted me to rub her clit
<Sarkazein> talk about fucking effort
<Sarkazein> i was ready to pass out
<Stu_pid> from rubbing her clit?
#33543
<TheDarkOfKnight> When I was a seinor in high school we had to make a video and had to have blood packs. The best blood packs are made from condoms.
<TheDarkOfKnight> We had the following on the checkout counter: 1 Box of Trojan Magnum condoms, 2 Bottles of Corn oil, 4 Bottles of red food color, 2 Super 8 video cassettes and 1 Roll of duct tape.
<TheDarkOfKnight> I have never before gotten weirder looks.