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#11439
<adr> if kashmir gets nuked we won't have any soft wool sweaters any more
<TS> thats cashmere you tool
#44030
<sidewinder> has he ever looked at M theory?
<Alliance> the theory that M likes to kick me?
Alliance was kicked from #homeworld by m (i think this is called a 'proof')
#6871
Abyss: i deeply resent the use of the term 'purity' in any context with 'The Brothers Drunk.' :)
Phil: Oh I dunno. The purity of the alcohol is an important concept...
Dex: Yup, anything filtered through that many kidneys is going to have to be pure.
#73760
<+psych0sys> as long as your farts dont smell like vasoline youre golden
<@Spirilis> what if they do?
<+psych0sys> means jk0s been watching you sleep
#4790
<DAL9000> my pseudogirlfriend's preacher was like, all over her
<DAL9000> and she's not very liked at her church
<DAL9000> cuz they think she's seducing him
<trep> pseudogirlfriend, haha
<DAL9000> yes
<DAL9000> that's a fancy word for stalking interest.
#19493
*** Joins: Gabe (Gabe@ZiRC-62019.net273.fl.sprint-hsd.net)
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Gabe
<@Gabe> WHAT, NO FANFARE?
* @Mr_X sticks a trumpet in his arse
* @Mr_X farts loudly
#80277
<@nakor> baseball bats remind me of hentai
<@Akamu> ...
<@Akamu> I'm curious on the relation there.
< Syntacs> Once while playing baseball he slid into first (dude, you can keep running, but whatever), and it kind of scraped up his knee, which reminded him of a time as a kid when he idly used an eyedropper to make little suction marks on his legs and the other kids made fun of him the next day, which reminded him of the little suction things on octopus tentacles, and well, the train of thought is obvious from that point.
#4039
<kapusta> Slut: a woman that fucks everyone. Bitch: a woman that fucks everyone but you...
#309810
VioletFox: so lets say you have been married for 10+ years and you are still in love with your wife. theres a disaster of somer kind, zombies or something. and you also recently had a baby. its at most 1 year old. And something happens, there is only enough time to save one. who do you choose?
lewdicus: Wife, for the following reasons:
lewdicus: 1) Society has invested a LOT in making her functional. The baby is comparatively worthless
lewdicus: 2) She can walk
lewdicus: 3) Infant mortality has only been low for the last 200 years - probably the baby would have been dead had I been born in a different time anyway
lewdicus: 4) Babies are pretty easy to make
lewdicus: 5) The societal infrastructure for making new adult humans is probably gone, but the reproductive infrastructure for making new babies is always there
lewdicus: 6) Sex
lewdicus: 7) Love
lewdicus: QED babies suck uninstall life.exe
VioletFox: lol
#295686
<tobeh_> dfg
<tobeh_> hi guize
<tobeh_> im wearin lingerie under my clothes
<tobeh_> wanted 2 feel sexy
<whfsdude> I'm wearing naked under my clothes
<tobeh_> nice
#25202
<burrahobbit> "Hi, my name is Tyson Vandagriff and, I am going to be your roommate next year at OU."
<burrahobbit> AND COMMA
<burrahobbit> HOLY CRAP MY ROOMMATE IS RETARDED
#52230
swtSeduction75: my mom just told me to wear a thong
DaceIre: cool!
DaceIre: Way to go mom!
swtSeduction75: well that was one of the two options
DaceIre: what was the other one?
swtSeduction75: uh
swtSeduction75: to not wear anything
DaceIre: Bad mom!
#33983
<kurai> You know .. sometimes I long for the days when spam was just for pr0n, rather than shitty meds
<kurai> At least they included pics to look at while you were deleting it
#32391
(+Gothic_CatGirl) Ewwy I have to do to the doctor today
#16781
<Edge> i am right when I say there's no other reasonable explanation for anakin and amidala bringing R2D2 to naboo if not to shoot some really nasty homemade holographic porn?
#47180
<@merl> I tried to convince my girlfriend that the reason she got headaches after we had sex was because my dong touched her brain
#231
<ArIck> mann
<ArIck> i sure am getting a porno addiction
<ArIck> i mean, i feel empty in the morning if i haven't found good porno
#141263
<swight> "DARPA Advances AI Program For Air Traffic Control"
<swight> C`mon they GOTTA call that SkyNet
<jonathans> haha
<jonathans> yeah
<jonathans> It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are at the arrival gate.
#8810
<Sarkazein> i was STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN drunk
<Sarkazein> and she wanted me to rub her clit
<Sarkazein> talk about fucking effort
<Sarkazein> i was ready to pass out
<Stu_pid> from rubbing her clit?
#6962
<SlapAyoda:#916> felix, do these girls names end in jpg or gif?
<felix:#916> slap: names are insignificant
#7356
<zeitgeist> bobs car is now known as scomobile :)
<lsd> hehehe
<lsd> does that make bob 'scoman'?
<lsd> nananananananana
<lsd> SCOMAN!
<zeitgeist> lol
<lsd> quick scoman! into the scomobole!
<zeitgeist> holy floating point exception errors scoman!
#3719
<hit_doctor> Man, I had the longest shit today at work. my legs went numb
#51058
* Zero7 has joined #Samus.co.uk
<PizzaBoy> Oh god, I just jacked off my cat.
<Dazzy[Comicing]> A tektite was humping my horse...
<Cinsu> ...
<Cinsu> Zero7
<Cinsu> Welcome to samus.co.uk
#12299
<Chern> IM SO FUCKIN BORED!
* Reaper is now known as Reaper[HAVINGFUN]
* BongB is now known as Bong[NOTBORED]
* Chissy is now known as Chiss[FUNFUNFUN]
* brod is now known as brod[IMNOTBORED]
<Chern> FUCK!!!!!!
#70206
<Luuseens> i drank some espresso today.. the conversation went something like this -
<Luuseens> seller.echo ("Would you want me to add some water to your espresso?":
<Luuseens> me.echo ("No, ");
<Luuseens> //me.echo ("you dont add water to my espresso, ignorant bitch, cause then it becomes plain coffe.");
<Luuseens> me.echo ("thank you. :) ");