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#311241
<technoid> All of the shirts say "slimmer fit". Are there any "unix admin" sized ones?
#28321
<Fat-Burrick> icq is a sentient being that wants to take over the world by pissing me off
#1058
<Chis> Away message on AIM: I am away from my computer right now. ( I final gotten my cable modem!!)
#311127
<danh> some super creepy dude has sat down at my table
<danh> im about to get stabbed
<l0de> are you at a coffee shop
<danh> yeah
<danh> 20 tables free... chose me!
<danh> he's not wearing any underwear
<danh> dont ask me how i know
#2339
<[noam]> you know, i just came to a conclusion
<ryo-ohki> Really? I just came to some porno.
#44579
<Relocin> i like how it's so noisy at work so i can just fart whenever
#15519
<ouija> He likes to hit on girls
<ouija> and then go like
<ouija> HAHA HA!!! I'm QUEER!
#15064
<rrrmmm> hi DrtyS0UTH how are ya?
<DrtyS0UTH> pretty good being that the weather is like a sauna here.
<rrrmmm> here its mostly cold and raining
<rrrmmm> maybe we should live somewhere in the middle where its nice or something
#47457
<d0ppy> I just had an idea
<d0ppy> If I spray cheese into a condom....
<cdkj> :/
<d0ppy> I can actually have sex with easy cheese
<cdkj> get a girlfriend please
#52440
<The_Franchise> there were 4 girls working at each security check point at the airport in tokyo
<The_Franchise> 2 were handling bags and stuff
<The_Franchise> 1 was checking the xrays
<The_Franchise> and 1 was there to bow to you after you walk thru the metal detector
#15422
<loud_as_it_getz> yea well
<@KittenAssassin> .........
<loud_as_it_getz> does n e 1 actually chat on mirc??
<@KittenAssassin> no
<Simwolf> nope
<@KittenAssassin> we chat on IRC
<Simwolf> no one at all
<@KittenAssassin> you must be in the wrong place
<Simwolf> absolutely not a FUCKING soul
<loud_as_it_getz> wich is?
<@KittenAssassin> just type /s IRC
<@KittenAssassin> and you will be re directed to IRC
*** Quits: loud_as_it_getz (mary@210.50.66.28738) (Need more parameters)
#33080
<@Noggie> Michael Jackson - supports President Bush's 'leave no child behind' program
#547
<QuoteBawt> I know very few girls into emulation, even fewer into drinking "beer" and even fewer with an IQ above room temperature
<freeweed> <QuoteBawt> I know very few girls <--- if you wanna say something just say it
<scienide_> wimiins should go back to the kitchen
#301217
<Tyala> ... So Colonization has this system for educating your non-specialist colonists into specialized ones.
<Tyala> Except this always changes the graphic of the unit to the specialist graphic.
<Tyala> You can put Missionaries in native american tribes to convert some of them, giving you Converted Native units.
<Tyala> ... Then you can educate them in the school... but... this turns their graphic to.. a white man.
<Tyala> .... That's some pretty hardcore conversion there.
<Tyala> I'm pretty sure affirmative action students don't come out of college white.
<Tyala> Even more disturbing, one and only one of the specialist types uses a female for the graphic. So you can also educate their penis away O.o
#135732
<flame> i once tasted this girl who soooo salt&sour
<flame> she was delicious
<flame> very pleasant
<flame> wonder what makes that
<lee> semen
#304895
< jMCg> With something's not right I meant: I just measured my temperature, and although I feel hot, it says 34.
< jMCg> I think I should try that again.
< jMCg> Much better results: 35.8
< jMCg> Lets see what it says when I put it in m
< apanek-work> ...
< jMCg> y tea.
#304488
<octdave> i need to poop and eat
<octdave> ever ate a sandwich while pooping?
<octdave> I might try that, to save time
<officer_falcon> save even more time, just throw the sandwhich into the toilet
<officer_falcon> take out the middle man
#300636
<@mikesch> Google Wave was built to show younger people how older people feel when they try to use the internet.
#40901
* sanjay has joined #hack
<sanjay> im very much in love with a girl since past 6 yrs ..it was all going fine
<riddler> oh hell no
<riddler> don't make me DoS you, boy
<sanjay> but recently i have started feeling that she is now changing .. and trying to ignore me
<sanjay> i think she has someone else now in her life .. im still very much in love with her
<sanjay> can anyone hack her email id for me .. i just wana check her emails ..
<riddler> I'm SO banning everyone when i get ops back
#49809
LittleBunny32: the girl you showed me on okcupid.com has the six things she could never do without as: Sex, love, music, movies, dildo, water and air
RenaissanceGamer: i never did like people on this that took it THAT literatly
RenaissanceGamer: because food would have to be up there too
LittleBunny32: haha I'd put like oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, phosphorus, sodium, potassium
RenaissanceGamer: i have always been partial to those six myself
Comment: My friend says, "You forgot nitrogen! You'd be totally FUCKED!"
#7239
<fo0bar> fuck, how do I contact the IRS?
<egon> cheat on your taxes... they'll contact you.
#5647
<Plaid> We got the "Share Minutes" plan. Call it family bondage.
#111790
<maherarar> I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ONCE IN 1989 AND I NEVER LOOKED BACK.
#65016
<DogTheBootyHunter> dammitdammitdammitdammitdammitsonofabitch
<DogTheBootyHunter> I just missed the season finales of two of my shows...
<DogTheBootyHunter> lost track of time
<muttonduck> i watched northern exposure religiously, never missed an episode, even when joel left the series. i was watching the FINAL episode with five mins to go when my 3 yr old daughter fellover in the hallway and banged her head. By the time I got back to the TV the show was finished.
<muttonduck> Now my son is my favourite child.
#35377
<Freefall> http://www.strategypage.com/dls/articles/2004418.asp <-- the definition of oxymoron. Replacing the engines on NUCLEAR missle in order to make them more 'environmently friendly'.