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#10360
<Fentom> great, I'm spending my saturday nights on the computer looking at pictures of dildos
<Fentom> trekkies look down on me and call me sad
#41472
<nightjade> I actually had a constant 6.66KBPS download once. It never changed, I was scared shitless.
#3006
<djLiKu> 8=========D
<insanelee> wow.. . is that life size?
<djLiKu> yeah
<djLiKu> if u have a 200 inch monitor
#27286
(@Moondo) music question..was it simon or art garfunkle that released a son about their son in the last ear?
(@Spacebarbob) that's one sick combination of typos...
#298897
<~firez> nothing beat irc in bed tho
<~firez> or the instant moment you wake up
<&Adorable> Laptop > DS
<~firez> i dont have a laptop
<&Adorable> I do
<&Adorable> What I don't have; however, is my mother telling me to get off the computer because 11PM is past my bedtime :D
<~firez> lol
<~firez> i do
<&Adorable> I know :/
#39504
<THX> i love this one. i told my friend when he went to jury duty, no matter what the case was, tell them he couldnt serve cause the defendant committed the same crime against him.
<THX> he got assigned a rape case.
#4361
<JDigital> I have ops in #pyoko... I put it on my resume along with my Slashdot karma ;)
#306718
[talking about kuwait]
everbong: i almost got blowed up back in the day.. thats how i got the name everbong
MaxGripper: really?
MaxGripper: what happened?
everbong: this lady came up to a small group of us, saying something, and i was like "everbong?? wtf??" we started to walk away and she exploded
everbong: apparantly she was saying "i have a bomb" in fail english
#206512
<zaapiel> mplayer palestinian_girls_go_jihad_on_jewish_cock.avi
<zaapiel> doh wrong term
#33991
(lithrye) I'm experiencing an annoying problem.
(lithrye) hlds is killing my ISP's router.
(Silicon) and how exactly do they say it's doing that
(lithrye) it's causing it to drop packets.
(Silicon) what are they using Fischer Price, My first router?
#30175
<Wikkid|Mikkr3igN> my power went out the other day. good thing my camera had a flash. i went to make a sandwich and took 90 pictures of my kitchen.... the neighbors called the police they thought it was lightening in my house
#35962
<@ecks> what the fuck
<@ecks> okay, i was just outside... this bird flew down from a tree, flew like 20 feet, took a shit on my dad's thunderbird, and then flew anothe 20 feet back to the tree
<@ecks> it couldn't fucking take a shit in the tree?
<%r0bin> Would you like to shit on your sofa?
#309978
<haq> i had this dream last night that i was laying in bed and i could hear someone saying "hey. hey dude. hey." from under the bed
<haq> so i whipped around and looked
<haq> and it was a crocodile wearing raybans and smoking a cigarette
<haq> so i tell this crocodile "bro you need to either put that out or go outside with it, there's no cigarettes allowed in the house"
<haq> dude's response is "chill out. crocodiles can't even smoke cigarettes."
<haq> then he takes a puff, blows the smoke in my face, and says "think about it."
<haq> so i wake up, laugh about it, and go about my day
<haq> well, in traffic on the way home this morning, i finally realize
<haq> crocodiles can't smoke cigarettes. they don't have lips, so they can't get any suction
#9116
<^cell^> he was one of those people that had to make multiple objects.. like.. he makes 1 tree, so he says "lets give him a little friend" and at the end there is like 50 trees and like 3000 squirrels
#16120
<ShadiZar> get your happy ass over here then
<ShadiZar> i could use a good hard... well, anything
<`KArmA> oh sure. . . its always karma come do this for me. . come out to texas karma, fuck me like a beast karma, oh harder karma
<`KArmA> what about *MY* needs goddamnit!?!?
#2328
<TeamsterX> man watching 6 MSCE's around a sun box, looks alot like the opening scene's of 2001:space odyssey and the monkey's with the monolith
#16269
<jasn> dad woke me up like 'your brother cut himself with a knife he's bleeding everywhere i gotta take him to the hospital'
<jasn> im like 'can you get me some mcdonalds breakfast'
#256707
His Madjesty: So the water cooler at work is broken. It still works, but it leaks.
Ideasman: that's not good...
His Madjesty: We tried to get someone in to fix it or replace it, but they just said to take the water bottle out when we're not using it.
Ideasman: WTF? where are you working?
His Madjesty: Microsoft.
#3351
<Wes> Anything good coming on TV tonight?
<kolby> maybe nWo will return
<Wes> Anything good that doesn't involve dudes in their underwear slap-fighting so they can get a new belt to wear to the Gay Pride Parade?
#16283
<jitspoe> when I was little I had a wet dream... dreamed I was taking a pee in the toilet only to wake up and find out it wasn't the toilet I took the pee in...
<Pluto[BHG]> haha thats not a wet dream
<jitspoe> sure it is
<jitspoe> I was all wet :)
#309704
<ButchDeLoria> hey guess what I got
<advi> a boner
<ButchDeLoria> worse
<ButchDeLoria> It starts with an M and ends with an R
<advi> midget boner
#21982
PunkRocks64: we watched Matrix 1 in chemistry today.
PunkRocks64: and you know how Morpheus says the beginning of the end was the creation of AI?
EventuallyAdonis: what about it?
PunkRocks64: he says basically that the what started the machines taking over was human's fascination with AI..
PunkRocks64: and.. have you noticed that like 99% of our population is infatuated with American Idol .........
EventuallyAdonis: that's deep
#40440
<laurent> yeah everything's great except the damn hard disk
<Popdog> need a hd?
<Popdog> i've got a spare 20 i can bring up with me
<laurent> i was trying to seduce Amanda by showing her how fast i could install OpenBSD and i did the bsdlabel editing and hit ok and a pile of newfs errors spam the screen
<Popdog> LOL
<laurent> so needless to say i didn't get lucky that night
#2085
[rancid_mf] wow i need to be a better typer i dont know what is going on
(|Chris) typist*
[rancid_mf] ok im am idiot too
#25540
<NewFoundGonads> "if gamecubes could give head.. girls would be in a shit load of trouble"