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#307922
<@Rjx> I've noticed a trend in modern SEO
<@Rjx> which involves shitting up your URLs and shitting up your content
<@Rjx> to meet some imaginary standards
#5432
<DAL9000> i was kicking ass at scrabble
<DAL9000> and got dropped
<DAL9000> i really should spend my time much more constructively than pummeling lonely housewives and unemployed fatguys in scrabble
#50726
wietz0r: I got a poem
wietz0r: I wish
wietz0r: I wish
wietz0r: I wish not for a big house
wietz0r: Or a large car
wietz0r: I wish for something small
wietz0r: Possibly with side-bars
wietz0r: I wish
wietz0r: I wish
wietz0r: I wish only one wish
wietz0r: And that is to never ever fucking sneeze in someones face during sex again
BernardBlack: ahahahahhhahahahaha
BernardBlack: "oh god katie, I -=ATCHOO=-"
BernardBlack: now that would be an orgasm and a half
BernardBlack: *sneeze* *sperm* "er, ok2
#871
<AlmtyBob> I think there are more christians than bullets
<AlmtyBob> sucks
#2266
<Dregan> 3y3 4m l33t h4x0r
<Dregan> j0! 3y3 4m t4lking to j00!
<Dregan> fux0red 5cr1pt k1dd13.
<Dregan> -"l33t h41ku"
#239876
< Tyr> wow... epic story from my boss
< Tyr> so, i sent him an email letting him know i'm selling a laptop to see if the company might want to buy it
< Tyr> or if he might know anyone else
< Tyr> turns out he does
< Tyr> see, he has this friend that's notorious for sleepwalking and peeing in random places
< Tyr> he apparently got up and peed on his laptop this weekend
< loodWork> I guess when he woke up...
< loodWork> *puts on sunglasses* ...he was really pissed off...
< loodWork> YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
#3169
<myst> of course with all the pro- USA, rah, rah, crap we hear... i probally just ignored it
<Joshua> ah damn, i'm sorry about that
<myst> ah teens and guns. yes i have read a few stories on that topic.
<Joshua> as an american, i'm going to have to appologys
<Joshua> *appologies?
<Joshua> soemthing like that
<Joshua> fuck it
<Joshua> i'm an american
<Joshua> i don't have to spell
#53511
<LagIsNewYear> spencers is where i shop for my gfs gifts
<LagIsNewYear> no where else in teh mall had a place for dildos but spencers did, so i wanted to check if they had any right and i look it up online and call em up
<LagIsNewYear> and i ask if they have any dildos or whatever and there is a woman who goes...uhhh no we do NOT carry those..
<LagIsNewYear> so i angerily went into the mall and checked myself and spencers ended up having it
<LagIsNewYear> and hten i realised i called a differnt spencers...one for kids clothing
#43804
<psych> Worrying sucks.
<psych> Let's start a crusade against worrying!
<smm> I agree
<psych> But what would we do if it all went horribly wrong?
<psych> ...ah crap.
#39944
<Teromen> ekmf: irc taught me the correct use of : and made my ged score higher :D
#252356
xexyz: I don't think there are NATO specs for Nerf ammunition
#93196
(+Mandrake_Barbosa) omfg.. just sneezed 8 times in a row
(@Cajun) 7 sneezes = orgasm
(+Mandrake_Barbosa) i tried it. by forcing myself to sneeze, using pepper. i really thought it would work (was in like yr9) so i did it without pants on with a few tissues next to me
#303074
<banquo> J and I bought Ron and his wife a fuckswing for their wedding present.
<banquo> They won't admit to having used it, but they do have a fern in their bedroom now that's on a REALLY big eyebolt
#1547
<iMike> i was just thinking of hiring a man to service my septic system
<maff> is that the classy way to say you want to get fucked in the ass?
#3780
(nexxai) I just tried to light my smoke, but I forgot to put it in my mouth, and burnt my nose :(
(nexxai) I lit the lighter, then realized the smoke was still on the desk
(nexxai) D:
#16592
<RtWh0> garlic ok you and me right here right now
* GaRlic_iv puts up his dukes
* GaRlic_iv ... wait.. i got fuckin no dukes
* RtWh0 pulls out ding dong and swings it around like a whip and cuts Garlics head off
<RtWh0> then some guy yells FATALITY
<RtWh0> in a mean vioce
<GaRlic_iv> RtWh0 pulls out ding dong
<GaRlic_iv> i hope thats not your dogs name dude
#8076
<Embercide> lol i just tried to RP for the first time
<Embercide> some guy was like "greetings" so i said "hail"
<Embercide> he asked "how art thee"
<Embercide> and i didnt know wtf to say so i made it look like i logged out
#59732
<Snags> Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:
<Snags> "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Dave."
<Snags> But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:
<Snags> "Dave.....
<Snags> Dave.....
<Snags> Dave, you sick bastard
<Snags> You're a vet."
#11214
<Meat_PoPs> what a guy, jumps all over you then falls asleep
* Meat_PoPs shakes his head
<Mog> thats what most men would do
<Meat_PoPs> hehe
<Mog> pretend to fall asleep, plus women have a naturaly built in pillow for us
<Coan_Arcanius> hehe
<Meat_PoPs> mmm they are cushy
#80041
[xexyz] Help me dave. I have a 17 year old girl chasing me.
[davek] Congrats, xex
[xexyz] :p Need a little more help than that
[xexyz] Wait.. 17 is legal here in Texas..
<xexyz goes AFK>
#49385
<SkoroMac> hrmm
<SkoroMac> Victoria's Secret is offering me a "Free Supermodel Lip Kit"
<SkoroMac> sounds like some sort of artificial blow job device
#5515
<DAL9000> vanilla coke tastes like ass
<mov> i'd like to taste it..
#43454
<Songy> And don't watch LOTR dvds at the highest volume your stereo can go when you're expecting a delivery. The other night I rang a door bell, knocked several times, and called while getting no response and hearing this fat, semi-drunk middle-aged dude yell shit like "YEAH! That's Legolas!! He's an ELFFF!!" to his young daughter.
#38302
<+kirk> I DISCOVERED A STRING OF ASCII CHARACTERS THAT WILL MAKE ALL YOUR COCKS BREAK OUT IN WARTS IF YOU SEE IT
<+kirk> DO WHAT I SAY OR I PRINT IT OUT
» mode/#GNAA [+m] by Pi
» mode/#GNAA [-vo kirk kirk] by Pi
<@Pi> can't print out a damn thing now
#90
<matt`> It is illegal to use UNIX in conjunction with a member of the opposite sex. This could prevent copulation-2.1.3-20.i386.tar.gz from compiling correctly.