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#28352
<Dabz|Work> it IS friday today isn't it?
<pL1> yeh, it is
<pL1> cut down on the vodka
<Dabz|Work> thought so
<Dabz|Work> it's not that...
<Dabz|Work> noone else has turned up to work
<Dabz|Work> i'm sat all alone in a dark office
<pL1> creepy
<Dabz|Work> i was beginning to wonder if it was the weekend and I'd come in by mistake
#37830
Exar Khan 666 : there are certain aspects about me that i want exactly the same in a potential mate and there are things that I would never want her to have
Yesterday Dying : like a penis
Exar Khan 666: I'm talking personality wise but yes that would be at the top of the list
#56641
mjl69> 98.5% of dna is considered to be junk dna with no known purpose. maybe it's xml tags.
#304384
<lungfish> nothing worse than a 30 year old who thinks hes really smart yet has accomplished absolutely nothing
<JDigital> lungfish: I thought you were 28
Comment: #raspberryheaven
#7270
( Lev ) i got to taste pre-mixed coca-cola concentrate from McDOnalds!
( Lev ) BEFORE THE WATER!
( Lev ) WEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#29036
<Daisuke> yea, sucking cocks is fun
<Daisuke> that came out wrong
#21633
<datamorph> lewsha, we generally call it a lan party because if we call it a substance abuse party we'd get in trouble
#373
<Flobbster> Haw, my computer doesn't like for ZipMagic to access a zip in a zip
in a zip on a parallel port Zip drive :D
<redslime> a zip in a zip in a zip on a zip?
#9928
<SlemJack> diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
#303746
<K-ain> i got fired from blizzard
<pub|k> late again?
<K-ain> they dont like their own language used against em
<K-ain> but they said it was because of "poor timekeeping"
<K-ain> i was constantly late
<K-ain> i guess i crossed the line when they rang me to tell me theyre waiting for me to show up for work
<K-ain> i was like, 3 hours late
<K-ain> i was like 'dont worry ill be there'
<K-ain> and they asked me when ill be there
<K-ain> and i just said 'in blizzard terms?.. soon'
<K-ain> they told me not to bother coming in :(
#26220
<Dilbert> my dad owns a company "Incestors inc."
<Dilbert> investors*
<Dilbert> i meant
#3237
<Tisha> dialup boy!
<supreemball> at least i dont have problems :)
*** supreemball has quit IRC (Quit: Connection reset by peer)
#147599
<Ratfor> my roomates are play sharades
<Ratfor> tim is using his hands to do bios beep codes.
<Ratfor> 3-3-1
#23513
<Potato> This guy I work with made the mistake of telling me about his whole idea of saving himself for marriage
<Potato> But it went something along the lines of "I don't wanna die young, 'cause the longer I'm married, the more sex I'll get"
<Potato> I destroyed his little world by asking the only married guy in the store how much sex he gets, to which he replied, "Well, I've got one son, but I'll be damned if I remember how that happened"
#32099
<^gangster> jalljo: and btw, whats marijuana?
<jalljo> its a hacker term.
#55995
<Trai`Hwork> you know, 'real' communism is acctually a really good form of government...
<Trai`Hwork> atleast, that's what civ 2 told me
#305962
<Joh> I had a friend who was crazy
<Joh> Once, randomly, while we were in town he walked up to a man waiting outside a shop and asked him
<Joh> "Hi, I just want to know how well the anti-memory serum worked, can you remember the number your sister told you yesterday?"
<Joh> The man says "I don't have a sister"
<Joh> My friend looks all serious then says "Damn, it worked too well."
<Joh> This man gave him the weirdest look, then my friend walked off.
#309810
VioletFox: so lets say you have been married for 10+ years and you are still in love with your wife. theres a disaster of somer kind, zombies or something. and you also recently had a baby. its at most 1 year old. And something happens, there is only enough time to save one. who do you choose?
lewdicus: Wife, for the following reasons:
lewdicus: 1) Society has invested a LOT in making her functional. The baby is comparatively worthless
lewdicus: 2) She can walk
lewdicus: 3) Infant mortality has only been low for the last 200 years - probably the baby would have been dead had I been born in a different time anyway
lewdicus: 4) Babies are pretty easy to make
lewdicus: 5) The societal infrastructure for making new adult humans is probably gone, but the reproductive infrastructure for making new babies is always there
lewdicus: 6) Sex
lewdicus: 7) Love
lewdicus: QED babies suck uninstall life.exe
VioletFox: lol
#8488
<dr_rotcod> he's an ex marine and i was drunk so i said, "alright marine, kill me with one touch!"
<hakan> holy shit. wrong thing to say
<dr_rotcod> and all the sudden i was in some weird hold having my shoulder ripped apart
<dr_rotcod> and then i fell on the ground laughing/crying
<hakan> did it break??
<dr_rotcod> he looked at his hands and went, "oh my god! the demons of the american military have shone through and i am hopeless!! HOPELESS"
#2854
<Strafer> If you get collisions on a wireless LAN, do you see sparks in mid-air?
#56318
KhaosIsOrder: you suck
xyzzy: for a nominal fee
#25190
<Delidgamond> Naw, hoping it was the truth
<Delidgamond> I am the sexiest man alive after all
<Delidgamond> I mean, what woman WANT to get it on with me
<Delidgamond> fuck
<Delidgamond> said that wrong
<Malbi> no you said it correct
#26297
<Xerox|Studyage> Personally, I'm not too fond of hermaphrodites. They have more than the recommended amount of penis for a girl.
#8923
<Celery533> I have single handedly programmed applications which corporations have purchased from me.
* LS * Maur prefers to type double-handedly :)
#300122
<Slashy> Kanye West has a new show coming out
<Slashy> No time slot, it just interrupts other shows