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#28335
<McMoo> i've just learned that cars will always either 1. not look where they're going at all, 2. not see you, or most commonly 3. not give a fuck that you're there
<Mootar> or, in the case of old people, try to hit the brake and end up on the accelorator
#15834
<@redium> i have never had a condom break on me ever
<@redium> maybe the gas-station generic glow in the dark ones break.. but real ones dont
<+elf> ...glow in the dark ones...?
<+elf> how can you misplace your penis so badly that you need for it to glow?
<@redium> its the entertainment factor, not the visibility factor
<+elf> i see...
#3591
<Slant> ....
<FutabaAoi> i see your ... and raise you ..
<FutabaAoi> !
<Slant> four baby.
* Slant shoots FutabaAoi for cheating at the '.' table.
#49807
<scerez> Something Amber has...that no other girl has >:O
<ShunDhaos> a penis?
<AmberRae> a oenis
<Fluffy> a penis?
<AmberRae> penis
#11043
(@|shot): directX 8.1 any good?
(@landje): i havnet pld it
(@ICEMAN): dirext X isn't a game
(@landje): what is it
(@landje): if any;one puts that in their quit message i'll feckign kil ythe,
#11397
<zx64> ducktape is merely a physical manifestation of regexps
#30399
* davehartM fries an egg on an AMD
<@Nerf> mmm, fried
* Azhrarn fries his lap on his laptop
<Azhrarn> hrmm, there's an idea
* Azhrarn renames dnetc to eggfrier, runs it at higher priority and flips his laptop over
<Azhrarn> WHO WANTS OMELETES?
Comment: #distributed@irc.distributed.net
#54864
<Scorbutus> now theres 3 questions you dont want to hear when sitting in a room full of computers...
<Scorbutus> "what was that noise?" "whats that smell?" and "wheres that smoke coming from?"
<Scorbutus> especially when the answer to all 3 is...my router
<Scorbutus> :(
#4172
<unixpeon> we need a Bush Family vs Iraq episode for MTV Deathmatch
#59840
< RichiH> imagine you are a reporter
< RichiH> a tornado hunter in the US
< RichiH> you see a person clinging to a lamppost, trying to survive
< RichiH> you are in a _heavy_ car, and thus totally save even right next to the eye of the thing
< RichiH> so you drive nearer to the scene
< RichiH> you see that the person trying to survive is george w. bush
< RichiH> so now you have two options:
< RichiH> either you save him, having him in debt forever, becoming famous for life and probably getting a large sum from him in return
< RichiH> or you let him die, making the pictures of your life, getting fame and money too, but having a very powerful clan against you for life
< RichiH> so, what do you choose?
< RichiH> video or photo?
#19465
* Lotach presses his internet-relay Stab-in-eye-omatic button
#307708
* rycuda has just been offered an amp
<@Al> After being given a shock like that it's wise to have a coulomb-down period
<@mgsts> I'm trying to decide watt a suitable punishment for these awful puns is
<@OneCruelBagel> mgsts: it's not his volt, he has troubles at ohm.
<@OneCruelBagel> We should let him have some peace faraday.
#44951
evilicey: This is going to fucking rock
evilicey: 2 (possably 3) gige's for incoming
evilicey: 4 for outgoing
evilicey: thats 7TB/sec! buwahaha
linky: holly shit you'll get laid for sure now!
#294937
* nobu^ (*@*.*) Quit (Quit: When two people dream the same dream, it ceases to be an illusion.)
<j3_optrix> When two people dream the same dream, it's a pointer error.
#41975
<CXI> shit, I was great at minesweeper
<CXI> I should've been in nam
Comment: #geekissues
#18766
<EmperorVlad[EE]> man skorp
<EmperorVlad[EE]> you know what
<EmperorVlad[EE]> i hate you
<EmperorVlad[EE]> i hate you with a passion
<EmperorVlad[EE]> like that really evil kinda hate
<fragk> love-hate relationships are funny ;)
<EmperorVlad[EE]> where they guy is taking up both lanes
<EmperorVlad[EE]> and u just want to run him off the road
<EmperorVlad[EE]> into the little school children
<EmperorVlad[EE]> and like him flip over a canyon
<EmperorVlad[EE]> but not die
<EmperorVlad[EE]> but just lay there in pain
<EmperorVlad[EE]> for about a month or so
<EmperorVlad[EE]> cause i would shoot anyone that came near u to help
<EmperorVlad[EE]> yeah
<EmperorVlad[EE]> i love to hate skorp :)
<fragk> ...
<fragk> you may now kiss the bride
#37066
<eLe> The Unix Guru's view of sex:
<eLe> unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; umount; sleep;
Comment: #blizzhackers on irc.digitaltoxicity.net
#8612
<zealot_> gopher is the protocol of the future
#28740
(HamWork) worst thing you can do while walking to the bathroom when you have to shit real bad: SNEEZE
#11385
[@Dz[Here]] Did you see Episode 2?
[@Dz[Here]] You'll want to have SEX with Natalie Portman after it
[@Dz[Here]] I seriously thing that... uh... $calc(($150 million / $7) / 2) guys want to have sex with her!
#9357
*** bad-_-girl has joined #devil
<[DeViL]Man> hi bad girl
<[DeViL]Man> just how bad are you?
<bad-_-girl> vey bad
<bad-_-girl> very bad
<[DeViL]Man> bad at spelling? or something else?
#2230
<DAL9000> kalms isnt here! now whose leg will i hump? ;(
<SlasherX> hump michaels
<SlasherX> never seen him around. give him a warm welcome
*** michael__ has quit IRC (bye)
#70658
<caesar> ahhh... i downloaded this beautiful pr0n vid, masturbated while watching it and then had a wonderful orgasm :)
<rockdots> heh, caesar: you conquered, you saw, you came?
<caesar> roflmao
#3432
<grifferz> I love vim so much
<grifferz> pets can die, women will fuck you over
<grifferz> but vim's love is pure
* ben moves away
<grifferz> vim is truly a man's best friend
* IZS calls for the men in white coats
#41048
Eurous Ventulus: You're more full of yourself than a masochistic cannibal.