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#30455
<vermifuge> so i have this girl in bed
<vermifuge> and her friend texts her
<vermifuge> to say shes pregnant
<vermifuge> colossal 21st century cock-blocking
<jube> YOUVE GOT LIMP
#297172
<foxygrl> so me and my girlfriend were thinking of coming out together, to each others' parents
<hulachick> wait, marissa?
<foxygrl> kristen??
<foxygrl> holy shit i didn't even realize it...
<hulachick> yeah, weird isn't it...
<foxygrl> ......
<foxygrl> ...wanna cyber?
#308772
<TheDancingLobster> yeah
<TheDancingLobster> i tend not to read code anyway
<TheDancingLobster> i just glare at it
#33895
<Ristora> brant: you know gullibles not in the dictionary
<Ristora> it;s crazy :|
<Brant> Ristora: what the crap are you talking about?
<Brant> Ristora: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=gullible
<Ristora> hhahhahh
<Brant> HAHAHAHHAHA
<Brant> OMG
<Brant> FUCK YOU
Comment: I got owned :(
#296679
<@impossible> my buds and i share dedicated server hosting
<@impossible> so we all paypal our one friend for the monthly payment
<@impossible> so for the last four months it's been paypal messages like, "less teeth, more attentino to the balls"
<@impossible> and he got an email today saying his account has been permanently closed for adult services, which is a violation of paypal usage
#3227
<memo> rgiorew09u34290
<Squizzle> Memo speaks ancient Decepticon!
#194565
<protospork> I just clicked on a random image link in a conversation about cocks
<protospork> man that was smart
#7955
<weezyl> I figured I'd just fellate my students for the protein.
#16
<wecell> new apples look fairly interesting, but i'd hate to buy into something that is going to CRASH all the time.
<DigDug> wecell : What are you using right now?
<wecell> i've always used windows machines.
#20364
<@daleth> so it really did lead to "..." :)
<@lovelace> Yep.
<jbroomeLUG> is that morse code for humping? :)
#276
<papasui> i bought a box of crab ragoons
<papasui> and i looked to see how many calories are in each one
<papasui> and its freaking 400 and 250 fat calories
<Marcus-> "WARNING: May cause manboobs!"
#7028
<Conskill> That kinda gun brings out the raving gun loving American in us all.
<The_Tick> Over and under shotgun. Three throwing knives. The ability to hide.
<Rain> yeah, seriously.
<Rain> The_tick - Huh?
<The_Tick> That's all you need.
<The_Tick> And it's cheeeep.
<Twinkcide> Rain: The bullets are embedded in cakes of propellant instead of casings. It was designed to overcome the problem of recoil pushing the barrel off target while firing in bursts
<Twinkcide> Has an insane ROF while in 3-round burst mode, and no recoil until the third round has left the barrel
<Pander> Tick: That won't kill a velociraptor.
<The_Tick> On the other hand, I'd sleep with that thing if I had one.
<Pander> I base all gun purchases on "Will this kill a velociraptor?"
#311156
<AppleDash> I have accidentally racially segregated my old computers
#305574
<@Timmeh> harrah, my dad got through his surgery well
<@Timmeh> so well in fact his main complaint is having to wear a hospital gown
<@Timmeh> first words through the door "hey dad, how're you feeling?" "I'm wearing a fucking dress, son"
#31194
<dano> naw, i'd be nice to all of you if i won the lottery
<dano> if i won a few million bucks, none of my friends would have car payments left over ;p
*** Mode on #chan by suresh: +o dano
<dano> especially suresh!
#1782
<bludstone> so like, with anime now
<bludstone> some otaku dude in japan encodes it, uploads it.. it spreads
<bludstone> and its available before the airtime cuz of timezone changes ermshtn
<SiamShade> haw
<SiamShade> l33t
<bludstone> dammit, i need to get laid.
<SiamShade> where the fuck did that come from
<SiamShade> you're talking about anime and how it spreads then "i need to get laid."
<SiamShade> oh wait
<SiamShade> that makes perfect sense
#2817
<neck> my arse has fucking fallen asleep again ..
<neck> i cant get it up
<neck> i mean get up
#8844
<marius_#acknak> Prosecutors, quoted by the Associated Press and Reuters, also said the man was carrying a CD-ROM in his baggage that contained a training programme for fighters wanting to wage "holy war."
<marius_#acknak> I wonder if this training program is based on the quake engine.
#2041
<Mr_Durden> no wonder superman's ship is powered by the only thing that can kill him
<Mr_Durden> it was designed by a canadian
#145685
lbreeves2: its official
lbreeves2: I have spent far too much time on the internets
lbreeves2: I was just typing my paper and was trying to type "Jewish laws"
lbreeves2: It came out "Jewish Lawls"
lbreeves2: so I backspaced it... and typed the same fucking thing again
#19458
<[RP]nanoTech> the study of physics will always be safer than biology, for while the hazards of physics drop off as 1/r^2, biological ones grow exponentially.
#8943
<Straylight> THIS JUST IN: Never trust your 9 year-old daughter with a babysitter named "Penishead McMurphy"
<Straylight> you cant trust those Micks
#6912
<pvx> why do these psycho's always msg my bot?
<xf> Because that is what psychos do.
<MenTaLguY> more to the point, why do a majority of them seem to be from Brazil?
<xf> Because that is where psychos live.
#17483
<JustNoodle> be right back
<JustNoodle> it's time for my daily sacrifice of a virgin
<meatwad_> you're committing suicide?!
#6485
<blazemore> DJing with vinyl is like people still making soap from their own pig fat