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#2796
(pvah) i wonder how funny airport security would think it would be if you walked into an airport with a cardboard box that said "BOMB" on it
#298198
<+pichu> 0C = freezing, 100C = boiling
<Hideki-kun> kelvin = C + 273.15
<%^> 0 degrees Celsius = 32 degrees Fahrenheit
<div> i look at all the ppl talking about temperature
<div> and all i see is K F C
<div> <_<
<div> and then i got hungry
#300781
s42: I was ranting with my friend about how nonsensical it is for so many people to play Farmville on Facebook... how growing imaginary crops is a waste of time when there's no real goal.
s42: When I realized I play MMORPGS...
s42: I probably do more farming on the internet than fucking farmers do in real life.
#114303
< Frolostalker> I fucking hate having OCD. Masturbations should be a joyous occasion. but noooo, after i masturbate, i have to go into my bathroom, and do it again, then preform an elaborte ritual of intricately touching all the walls in a specific fashion
< Frolostalker> fucking hell, i'm gonna go do that
#269
n e r d b 5: i smell a burning smell
n e r d b 5: maybe its my pc
n e r d b 5: oh wait, ewww, its the cat pooping
#156109
<Tagert> Well, they're not terribly smart.
<Tagert> So the aircon in the server room is overtaxed and not powerful enough to handle the heat generated by the servers.
<Tagert> So what are they doing?
<Tagert> They're putting in another server to monitor the airconditioner.
#38906
[@Infinity] Let me mention one thing
[@Infinity] don't ever fucking try to cut a power cable that's plugged into the wall
[@Infinity] bad fucking idea
[@Infinity] blew the fuse to the entire house
[@Infinity] and I know what you're thinking
[@Infinity] how the hell is this PC still up
[@Infinity] well let me tell you of this great technology
[@Infinity] it's called APC
::: Quits: Infinity: Connection reset by peer
::: Joins: Infinity
[Infinity] ok
[Infinity] apparently APC's don't last that long
#29783
<svenmonk> My dad had a pop-up version of the Kama Sutra
<PoisonPen> In his pants?
#49777
<patchman> I'm so modest even my modesty is modest!
<patchman> wait, modest doesn't mean what I think it means
<patchman> I meant "awesome".
#307812
<ninja_warrior666> can anyone tell me how to create sodium metal?
<ninja_warrior666> or nitrocellulose?
<Schroedingers_hat> Well, it all starts with an infinitely hot singularity...
<ninja_warrior666> ...
<Schroedingers_hat> But you've gotta create some nothing first.
<Schroedingers_hat> Well, not first
<Schroedingers_hat> because you haven't created time yet.
<Schroedingers_hat> Well not yet
<Schroedingers_hat> but you get what I mean
#28352
<Dabz|Work> it IS friday today isn't it?
<pL1> yeh, it is
<pL1> cut down on the vodka
<Dabz|Work> thought so
<Dabz|Work> it's not that...
<Dabz|Work> noone else has turned up to work
<Dabz|Work> i'm sat all alone in a dark office
<pL1> creepy
<Dabz|Work> i was beginning to wonder if it was the weekend and I'd come in by mistake
#82974
<Ilendil> If two stick people had sex, would it start a fire?
#301418
<VoxPVoxD> I see a half dollar coin every once in a while
<VoxPVoxD> I think it's jfk on them
<VoxPVoxD> which is a wasted opportunity
<VoxPVoxD> we had a great reason to finally have one of those cool coins with a hole in it
#114245
<Prrrrostata> in the back of national lampoon they had little round stickers that had a picture of a screw on them
* JacklynHyde hoists an eyebrow
<Prrrrostata> you could stick them over the heart on bumperstickers
<Prrrrostata> "I <screw> my german shepard"
#15798
<EnemyFC> can you feel the love i'm excreting from my pores?
<Cobra> I'm just glad you aren't excreting it from other places o_O
#2081
<JDigital> How has a white girl got a brown cock? That's just weird.
<DigiGnome> YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN.
#14971
<Erad> homophobics are gay
#24048
<RS-Jack> this place is like a bowl of cereal, full of fruits and nuts
#302416
Vasir: What's tuberculosis?
Psi: A lung disease
Vasir: Ohh, I thought it was an std
Psi: lol, no, it's transferred by coughing, sneezing, stuff like that
Vasir: I thought its when your dick is clogged
Psi: ...
Vasir: ...
Vasir: Is there a disease fitting that description?
Psi: God, I hope not...
#7291
<Iced> the IDE cable from the COM2 to the port is fsked
<Iced> it must be that
<NepCHooN> ide cable?
<NepCHooN> your com2 hooks into your hard drive?
<NepCHooN> i ph33r your pc!!
#280368
greggacam|Farming: What's "user intelligence too low" mean?
#1723
<k-rad-bob> i made an avi of me jacking off
<k-rad-bob> then i jacked off while watching it
* linKnee is afk: PUKING
#17239
< Danelope> I know what I need.
< Danelope> I need the cool shoeshine.
<@harb> Shoeshine?
<@harb> wt?
<@harb> If that has a double meaning, sign me up.
#74351
Merchelo> no one uses cd's
nosmo> You ever wonder where mp3s come from?
nosmo> Your parents didn't give you "the talk"
#227
<Amanda`> We're going to have matching motherboards and processors
<timmo> AMANDA: NOW THAT IS THE TYPE OF WEIRD SHIT IM TALKING ABOUT
<timmo> MOST WOMEN WANT MATCHING SHEETS AND SHIT
<timmo> weirdo