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#29837
<ikkenai> if i pull on a clitoris hard enough, will it eventually come out as a huge penis like in hentai
#52590
<mick> any idea of the performance difference between 10krpm and 15krpm?
<Plug> ~5krpm
#7782
<faustwork> she looks good
<chaommm> is she hot?
<faustwork> id bang her
<chaommm> that doesnt mean shit
<faustwork> id bang her with no beer
<chaommm> WOAH
#25048
dsfsdf: I need a job
bumlube: you can just whore your sweet ass to the highest bidder.
bumlube: you chicks have it so easy.
dsfsdf: Will you be one of them?
bumlube: fuck no. i'm saving my money for a bitch without syphillis.
#301252
<@snow_> i think i could have definitely stolen this chick from her loser boyfriend
<@snow_> but i fucked up
<@snow_> tried to call her fat
<@snow_> so she would come work out w/ me
<@snow_> that backfired hard
Comment: #geekissues
#56360
<segin> what is conky?
<tsunam> conky = a nice little display for various information about your computer
<segin> can i use it to watch pr0n?
<tsunam> it can tell you how much of your computer is being used for watching the pr0n
<segin> blah, i already know how much of my computer is being used to watch pr0n: not enough!
#19343
Rowen> Platonic relationship means no sex, dude.
* Rowen has a platonic relationship with Rowen.
* Sqrrl is anything but platonic with myself
Rowen> heh
Sqrrl> sometimes, me is the only action i get
Rowen> I did not, I repeat DID NOT have relations with myself.
Sqrrl> lol
Rowen> Well, sometimes that is the best action around.
Sqrrl> the safest action around, too
Rowen> heh
Rowen> And you don't have to buy yourself dinner.
Sqrrl> it'd be sad if you gave yourself a VD
#16776
<Pepsi> A Smith and Wesson beats four Aces.
<Tjousk> only if it's loaded
#26408
<sE|PassePartouT`v> i can beat you like sgamer beats off
<sE|PassePartouT`v> and that's a lot
<sgamer> that is a lot, but i doubt you can
#35847
<pantherqs> i had to produce a fault code for them to accept my 80 gigers
<pantherqs> two flights of stairs later, they did.
#19693
<jliechty> all right, i'm so fucking bored now
<jliechty> this sucks
<bryce> go and get a deer head to mount
<jliechty> sounds like a good idea
<jliechty> where can i find one?
<bryce> on a deer
#154605
<@randi> seething. in. rage.
<@randi> i mean, seriously. who the fuck tries to connect to ssl via ssh?
<@randi> ssh must be the end all solution for connecting to *anything* that is encrypted
<@randi> i mean, my god.
<@randi> seriously.
<@randi> how the fuck did i ever have sex with him.
<@Verjigorm> Tab A, slot B
<@rm-fr> you had sex with someone who doesn't know the difference between ssh and ssl and who can't configure a FreeBSD workstation?
<@randi> YES
<@randi> i'm going to go home and scrub my vag until it bleeds.
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#7065
<skatoni> will some one please help
<shev> ya?
<skatoni> there is a guy hacking into my computer
<shev> unplug your modem
<skatoni> how?
<shev> see those wires behind your computer?
<shev> rip'em all out
*** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni[ppp012.rosenet.net]: Connection reset by peer)
#25606
<Drugdown> Everyone makes mistakes.
<Fleebis> Especially you.
#37406
<GroZZleR> Going to play Generals...
<nox`afk> generals..
<nox`afk> ppfft.
<GameArena> It's not the computer game. He literally goes out in his backyard at night and pretends to be at war.
#6520
<halos> here's the thing about fucking pamela anderson:
<halos> it's been done
#56520
<emilying> i said no.
<whooka> Jesus, what crawled up your vagina and died?
<devin_11> ...
<themike> ...
<themike> dude, she just had a miscarriage. not funny.
Comment: #methlab on freenode
#63572
<EnderGT> When I was a kid I went with my dad to his job in facilities for a large company
<EnderGT> They had a bank of diesel-powered generators in their basement - huge 24-cylinder beasts
<EnderGT> On this trip there happened to be a 20 gallon bottle (think old water-cooler bottle) sitting on the floor with about 6 inches of diesel fuel in the bottom
<EnderGT> I inquired as to whether this was a safety hazard - and then watched as a co-worker deliberately struck a match and dropped it in the bottle
<EnderGT> The match fell to the liquid and was extinguished
<EnderGT> As a slightly older youth I attempted to repeat this experiment - only this time with a) a plastic container, b) gasoline, and c) outside on the driveway.
<EnderGT> I think my eyebrows grew back within a week or two
#303993
<Octopussy> i need to do something about this irc font
<&Shark> make it comic sans
<Octopussy> it looks all weirdy without fixed width
<Octopussy> yes, i should try comic sans first
<Octopussy> now everyone looks like an idiot
<Octopussy> i'll keep comic sans for a while
#301089
<cmihai> eval 1/1
<evaluator491756> cmihai: 1
<flyingparchment> eval `uname`
<evaluator491756> flyingparchment: AIX
*** [Signoff: evaluator491756 (Remote closed the connection)]
<Tempt> you killed it before I could have fun
<cmihai> This is the first bot I wrote, mkey? :P
<e^ipi> massivesecurityholebot 0.1 ?
#295402
<incesticide> fine, you can have ops
<incesticide> but first you must answer this skill testing question
<incesticide> you are in a race, and overtake the person in second place
<incesticide> what is 2+2?
<cj> SECOND, BITCH!
<cj> oh fuck
#46763
<Macks> holy fuck i just witnessed the coolest thing ever
<Macks> i was out on my porch smoking and there was some guy walking up the road with a bag of liquor
<Macks> this car pulled up next to him and i could hear this lady start lecturing the guy on how bad alcohol is
<Macks> the guy just stood there and was taking it, when out of nowhere the guy starts screaming random obscenities at her, he swings his bag of liquor and smashes it into the windshield
<Macks> you can hear the lady freaking out and screaming about calling the cops and shit, she starts to speed off and the guy picks up this huge rock and chucks it at the car, smashing the back window into pieces
<HOBBEs> ahahha serves her right
<Macks> moral of the story, lecturing a drunk will get you nowhere
#295981
<+Biiaru> Admittedly, calculus is like sucking dick. I don't very much want to do it, but I have to get to college somehow.
Comment: #zelda
#311479
<CapnBeeb> cripes
<CapnBeeb> my dad is asking how to disable an adblocker
<CapnBeeb> on a fucking XP machine
<CapnBeeb> YOU DON'T
<CapnBeeb> EVER
#184809
* ~Rofflesama grabs Amyl and puts him on the 20 yard line.
* ~Danke goes for the kick.
[Amyl] was kicked by [Danke] [IT'S GOOD!!]