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#4415
<MuSKraT> I'm supposed to go to meet a cute girl at a bar with our class, but I keep farting. I CAN'T GO UNTIL I FINISH FARTING.
#20688
<markogogo> Do you Americans know what a "Bubba" is?
<ptachka> yes, we elected one
#5078
<joey``> ryan...what are you doing for new year's
<ryano> going on dalnet
#54846
<redrum> the last urmom joke I told blew up in my face
<redrum> turned out the guys mom was dead
<redrum> he told me to get my dick out of the urn
#93970
Tire Aramaki > how tough is a 3/10?
Na'Axin > on a scale from 1 to 10?
Na'Axin > I'd say 3
#1906
(|Chris) CNN (Las Vegas, NV) New York has NOT been bombed. David Copperfield has come forward and stated that, "It was all just mirrors. I'm sorry that it got out of hand. This was just a publicity stunt that went horribly wrong."
#56538
+PrinceVen : porn spam just doesn't make sense anymore
+PrinceVen : "You always wanted to use your penis as a billard's cue"
#5440
<Spooky> So I'm arguing with this guy about Starwars
<Spooky> which I hate
<Spooky> And he's like: " I hated episode 1 cause jar jar was stupid"
<Spooky> and I said that Jar jar was about as stupid as ewoks
<Spooky> and he got all idignant and said ewoks were cool
<Spooky> WTF IS WRONG WITH STAR WARS FANS
#55217
<imprfect> So my mum ended up calling me and asked me to come over her.
<imprfect> *Here! HERE! HERE DAMMIT!
#3828
<Sylffor> I prefer "blood-engorged mayonaisse cannon" or "yogurt slinger"
<nitrifik_> ok. Sylffor knows too many colorful synonyms for 'dick'.
* Sylffor is a homosexual, remember?
<nitrifik_> you being gay is fine.
<nitrifik_> I draw the line at "blood-engorged mayonaisse cannon".
#13094
<SexcBlnde> I want a creamy chicken pizza
<Bart> yeah same! but I want meatlovers
<SexcBlnde> Hmm
<Bart> we could get half and half!
<SexcBlnde> ?? LOL like who will buy the other 2 halves?? ?;)
<Bart> you are joking right?
<SexcBlnde> ??whatttt??
#5784
<onTheReal> evb = fagget?
<evb> onthereal: No, I'm just fabulous.
#64104
<pipo> ...um.
<pipo> ... kids these days ...
<pipo> just came from the strangest conversation with my little sister
<niccolo> ?
<pipo> she's reading the comics
<pipo> and she asks me
<pipo> "hey what's 'friendship-with-benefits?'"
<pipo> so I give the big brother response
<pipo> "it's a physical relationship, without any commitment"
<pipo> mind you, she's 11 and I don't want to get into much detail with my sis
<pipo> anyway she was quiet for a moment
<pipo> and then she goes
<pipo> "ok so like f***buddies then?"
<michelle_113> ...
<niccolo> dude wtf
#19865
<strlen> vw buses rock.
<gibichung> i don't think the buses rock on their own
#22339
<gorefeend> my bum is all alone :/
#33
[17:05] *** D1 sets mode: +o C-Rock
<D1> oh wait, I was trying to kick you.
#10067
<Eye_Candy> you're lucky I retain video game knowledge like Oprah retains water
#160532
<+allie> I always let my son stay home whenever he wanted to, so he didn't have to ever try to fake an illness.
<+allie> He loved school. It was always a big social event for him.
<+allie> Whenever I had to go somewhere to pick him up from something, all I ever had to do was look for where the big crowd was because he'd always be in the center of it.
<+wrong> selling drugs?
#300422
<Rorschach> It is my belief that the Linux community may be defined, as a whole, as a virus. Its collective users will do everything to aid the spread of their half-baked OS but will do nothing to resolve the problems or fix them even in the worst of scenarios. The average zealot has one thing on their mind: infect.
<&Homicide> We are a cult, not a virus.
<&Homicide> QED.
<&Homicide> We recruit the ignorant masses who are disillusioned with their truths, who seek a better way.
<&Homicide> We lure them in with promises, with system stability.
<&Homicide> Once they have decided to try it,
<&Homicide> They are neck deep in a bash shell.
<&Homicide> They will fight, nay *crusade*, to fix their problems.
<&Homicide> Before they know it, the sense of accomplishment sets in.
<&Homicide> "That was difficult, but unlike windows, it can be fixed!"
<&Homicide> This is what they will say.
<&Homicide> Then they will try to use wireless internet.
<&Homicide> And the circle will be complete
#54362
<raela> man today in bio when I was actually paying attention I heard the best owned story
<raela> this girl learned about blood typing and how to do genetic crosses with it
<raela> so she got all excited, went home, and found out her and her parents blood types from her mom
<raela> she then realized there was no way possible her dad was related to her
<raela> or at least, not the father
<raela> it took her awhile to get her mom to admit it >:D
#40241
(+bilious) My children will learn Linux
(+bilious) And we'll have battles of whether Gnome or KDE is better
(+bilious) And my kids will have arguments like "Shut up Geoffrey, KDE IS BETTER"
(+bilious) And Geoffrey will yell back "MUUUUMMM DADDD, Lisa changed my gui to kde again"
(+bilious) And I'll just tell him to rebuild his system from the image stored on the server
Comment: irc.uq.edu.au
#16627
<The_Veteran> remember the reason you are an op DaMo
<Damo> coz I gave head
<The_Veteran> yes!
<The_Veteran> he admits it
#9272
<Murder-Is-Funny> I know this girl who is supposedly kinda anti-social - so she says - and she's mentioned she doesnt go many places or have many friends.. - but when I call her, she's never home - whats that mean?
<Byte^> she has caller-id
#205138
ApollyonProject: I bought Commando today for five bucks.
ApollyonProject: Best use of five bucks ever?
ApollyonProject: Unquestionably.
Xmysterio187X: I bought three lines of coke for 5 bucks once.
Xmysterio187X: So it's debatable.
ApollyonProject: Did those lines give you as much enjoyment as being able to enjoy Commando any second of any day for the rest of your life would?
Xmysterio187X: ....
Xmysterio187X: Fuck.
Xmysterio187X: No...
#32
<Goemon> you know how they have the /whois command, they should have a /whowas command to see who people were after they quit.
<Spidey> they do, goemon
<Goemon> damn.
<Goemon> my mom must have dropped
<Goemon> me