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#309152
TheEnd. : I hate my job, too boring.
JimmyKillsAlot : I hated my last job
JimmyKillsAlot : I worked for this call center for the board of education
JimmyKillsAlot : we managed servers and helped teachers all over the state
JimmyKillsAlot : like teaching approved sites and keeping them certified
TheEnd. : Sounds boring.
JimmyKillsAlot : it was
JimmyKillsAlot : and always buggy, people couldn't register and had to call us
JimmyKillsAlot : and when we made the account the username was based off of first name, last name, and a random number
JimmyKillsAlot : one day this woman calls and we go through the motions to make her an account
JimmyKillsAlot : when the info pops up
JimmyKillsAlot : I had to keep a straight face as I told Irene that her username was IMaho247
JimmyKillsAlot : my boss had to put the lines on hold for 5 min until the laughing stopped

#16251
<aba> i was just in detroit
<jasn> congratulations.
<aba> some black man next to me in his car kept flicking his nose
<aba> i rolled down my window and told him i dont have any cocaine

#138
<BlackDeth> ITS SLOW AS A 30 FOOT SHIT COMING OUT OF AN ANT''S ASSHOLE

#300835
<Pryoidain> It's bad when I'm watching a porno and I suddenly realize "Hey, I know this song. It was in that other porno."

#49729
Pixelated Empire: I wish I was as god-like as you. <<;
driftwoodRetro: :o
driftwoodRetro: Mr So-Called-Godlike spent most of today either asleep, barfing, or (in one of the strangest moments of my life) both
Pixelated Empire: o.o
Pixelated Empire: WTF?
Pixelated Empire: You sleep-barfed...?
driftwoodRetro: no comment

#29431
<+wang|school> maxim is to shit like feces is to shit
<+]eVo[Bl4de> and you're to cow testicles what semen is to my testicles!
<+wang|school> I live in your balls?
<+]eVo[Bl4de> wrong! you're going to be expelled in 5 minutes!

#34317
<aardvark> hmm, my KDE has stopped working :(
<wardrobe> cool, now you can use somehting better :-)

#35801
<Tres|Status> eh, i can't find a job because i spend too much time reading bash.org

#34107
[reeedobs] brb...got to go poop
[Snow] I think it's written into the original IRC RFC that IRC would be a convenient way for people in different geographic regions
to communicate and keep up to date on each others' bowel movements.
[Snow] Indeed!
[Snow] RFC1459:
[Snow] Abstract
[Snow]    The IRC protocol was developed over the last 4 years since it was
[Snow]    first implemented as a means for users on a BBS to chat amongst
[Snow]    themselves and to keep each other informed on intestinal
[Snow]    minutae. Now it supports a world-wide network of servers and
[Snow]    clients, and is stringing to cope with growth. Over the past 2 years,
[Snow]    the average number of users connected to the main IRC network has
[Snow]    grown by a factor of 10.
[Snow] J. Oikarinen & D. Reed, May 1993.
[Snow] I shit you not.
[Snow] No pun intended.

#203271
<Croc> Okay well I got this new girl home
<Croc> One thing led to another and you know
<Croc> well in the awkward moment after sex
<Croc> but before anything else happened yet
<Croc> I had the strangest impulse
<Croc> I took some left over cum and smothered it on her forehead and said "Simba..."

#11184
<LordViper> Atarax: in all honestly, we don't care what you do in your spare time, however if it has entertainment value, we like to hear it

#14608
<[ryan]> jack i have more mariokart hours than your airline pilot has flight hours on flights
<class> hours or not
<class> ill let my shells do the talking
<class> and your ass do the eating
<[ryan]> in a pure race i'd own you
<[ryan]> weapons only make things more complicated
<class> thats like saying 'when you take the hard element out of the game I ROCK

#2235
<spid0r> my friend had #taliban for awhile...fuckin ragheads even get owned on efnet

#6125
<HrdwrBoB_> they are poo :)
<HrdwrBoB_> but hten
<HrdwrBoB_> they are not poo
<HrdwrBoB_> so they are poo and not poo AT THE SAME TIME!!
<Fryboy> quantum poo

#23401
<mrT> how was spain mr lox
<loximus> fantabulous mrt
<mrT> did you feel homoerotic in the huge spanish crowd
<loximus> totally

#18377
<jitspoe> birds don't have a penis
<Zim|DP> jit: but they have a pecker =)

#42020
<ShadoweOrbe> am i supposed to conduct with my penis?
<Mister_4> you could give it a go
<MichaelD> if its a really really small orchestra
Comment: #offtopic

#32820
• +mirthy throws geru into the deep Xenogears ocean!
(+mirthy) ¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´
(+mirthy) ¸.·´¯`·.¸¸¸.·´¯`·.¸\o/¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`
(+mirthy) ¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸

#206352
<Vesper> msg NickServ IDENTIFY batcock
<StarShade> ...
<StarShade> I am going to assume that was intentional.
<StarShade> ANd that your password isn't really batcock.

#44161
<Areku> No wait, you don't understand
<Areku> I'm the incest guy here
<Areku> *nicest
<Areku> ... BAD typo
Comment: gaming.windfyre.net #SN-Sync

#31800
<felix> what is asl?
<felix> asshole?

#48752
<RiPz> my uni has signs up in text and in braile
<RiPz> hlf the signs re just printed though
<RiPz> so theyre's just series of dots
<RiPz> in braile configurtion
<RiPz> but its still flat

#5300
<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

#75815
Scolcite: How do I fuck a fat girl that lives 45min away without actually dating her?
Scolcite: She keeps talking about how she LOVES to suck cock, so she's got me, there is nothing I can do. I just don't want to be stuck with her
Drimmie: fat girls dont want love, they want burgers. fuck her then throw her a big mac. while she's chompin, escape out the back door

#17209
<Sterring> please , I don't really understand english expression cause I'm not so good in english....
<Sterring> use simple words
<Nickname> you stupid

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