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#15417
<andyd> No, I'm not being difficult
<andyd> but it is ACTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO BUY LICENSES FOR SOFTWARE WHEN THE LICENSES HAVE BEEN WITHDRAWN FROM SALE,
<gardron> lol
<gardron> client?
<andyd> I can't tell.  For a moment I thought that it was a brick wall.

#52036
<AlmtyBob> I'VE HIT BOTOTM
<AlmtyBob> I went to download a scat porn off newzbin, and was afraid I might already have it 8(
<AlmtyBob> fuck...I do have it
Comment: #ramen

#20461
<KillaDawg> I don't want to move to Singapore with you. too humid
<PinkRydergurl> Well, you don't have to wear clothes..you can walk around naked like people in Africa..
<KillaDawg> Uhhhh, people in Africa have large penes, so they can comfortably walk around naked. I'm white; I'm not quite that well-endowed
<PinkRydergurl> Uhhhh, once again, we're talking about SINGAPORE, which is in ASIA....you're more "gifted" than you think you are...

#37376
<Nesta> The maker doesn't need it,
<Nesta> The buyer doesn't use it,
<Nesta> The user uses it without knowing.
<Nesta> What is it?
<el draco> damn i know this
<el draco> the grave thing
<el draco> i dont know how to say in english
<el draco> the box you wear when you die

#29586
<+Ron> Not all those tricks are that amazing.
<+Lance> Hey, if a dog can get a server up in Korea before it gets eaten, I'd give that a 9.
Comment: #dpi

#35954
06:18 <Lanfear> yesterday, I was stroaking a cat that laid on a friend's lap..
and, well. I was scratching the cat's tummy and stuff, when I
suddenly became aware of that it was a bit too close to the guy's
crotch

#34520
<Djinna> i saw a pin this afternoon that says 'just because i'm a gay man doesn't mean i'll turn down a blowjob from a woman'
Comment: #bifemunix

#30500
<freefour> i once had naughty-businesses so much with her that i made her faint. now THAT is 1337.
<plasmo> i alt tabbed for a sec
<freefour> heh
<plasmo> haha, wtf, that IS leet
<freefour> it was scary
<freefour> seriously
<freefour> it wasn't 1337 at all
<plasmo> did you get a momentary sensation of necrophilia?
<freefour> yes!
<plasmo> did you keep going? or did you stop and slap her?

#3158
<aNuBiS-> RaMTuFF: You should know better than to drive under the influence of a hard-on

#6778
<Dr-Arcane> so the profile is black trenchcoa wearing doom players who listen to industrial and make explosives.. Well.. looks like we should just start arresting CS students randomly

#55649
<oohal> Slothearn, start a partition to get him arrested
<archaios> a "partition"?
<archaios> I think you mean petition
<Slothearn> Heh, ext2?
<Slothearn> I propose a reiserfs partition of about 30 GB to get Cheney the death penalty.

#5918
<base2> linux people think of windows more times a day than I think of sex

#310258
< cyberdog> so there are a few holes in watchdogs
< cyberdog> you can 'prevent crimes' by pre-empting them using some bullshit minority report hacking anonymous #wearelegion thing, but when you prevent it, it counts as a victory condition no matter what happens
< cyberdog> so the half hour police chase beforehand, the hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of damage caused, the fact that i arrived on the scene by crashing through the outside area of a restaurant and killed 75% of its customers, and then the fact that i blew both the perp AND the victim away by accident doesn't matter
< cyberdog> perps down, you're a hero
< cyberdog> and then you can stealth in cars to avoid detection, yet it doesn't seem to matter whether the car has doors or not
< cyberdog> hes just sort of slumped in the seat in plain fucking view
< cyberdog> its still entertaining though
< cyberdog> it's a bit like hackers in that it's silly but still enjoyable
< nukes> ahem
< nukes> hackers was not silly
< cyberdog> no that's true. every time i send an email 1s and 0s fly around the room and i surf down a 90s tidal wave wearing an augmented reality headset :P
< nukes> that's not augmented reality, that's lsd

#12244
<Olpainless|ChoresNCrap> D3ad - once when jehovahs came here, i told em we were from church of satan
<D3adlode> and what happened?
<Olpainless> They just went. Quickly

#8320
<K-Ecchi> SABER DATED A GUY
<Saber> YOU HAVE NO PROOF
<K-Ecchi> YOU TOLD ME
<Saber> I HAVE NO PROOF EITHER

#150929
<gavin|> wtf
<gavin|> I just realized that 2 years ago I paid for a 19" LCD but received a 17"
<gavin|> this is so odd
<gavin|> I'm looking into buying a new monitor
<gavin|> so I look at the current monitor I have
<gavin|> it's a 17"
<gavin|> then I look at my receipt from 2 years ago when I bought it
<gavin|> supposed to be a 19"
<gavin|> I... feel dumb

#8702
<Sull> what is this obsession with trading pics?
<lostsoul1> it is kind of like pokemon...you gota collect them all

#40176
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: yeah, like masturbation
Adam Atlas: Heh.
Adam Atlas: Go make the sound of one hand clapping.
Adam Atlas: I like that euphemism even better.
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: me too
Adam Atlas: My personal favorite, though, is "dealing with the issue at hand." It sounds very professional, in a cryptic sort of way.
Adam Atlas: "Please excuse me, I need to go deal with the issue at hand."
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: hehe
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: or you could put it in a letter
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: "Madam or Sir, we are sending this letter in regards to the issue at hand"
Adam Atlas: But what if the person asks what the issue is? It would be hard to respond
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: just say it's a "personal matter"
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: hehe

#308875
<Mikael_Kreoss> reminded me of the time as a kid I saw a pic of the pope's bubble car thing
<Mikael_Kreoss> and thought it was meant to keep him in
<Mikael_Kreoss> like he was a monster or w/e
<Mikael_Kreoss> on display
<Mikael_Kreoss> "WE CAUGHT THE POPE" and then celebration time

#306044
<@CiTay> haha... watching Science.Ch.Moon.Machines.5of6.Space.Suit... in the space suit, they had this "pee bag" with a condom-like hose leading to it. initially they had three sizes for the condom-like part, small, medium and large. but all astronauts ordered the large part, no matter the real need. so they renamed it to large, gigantic and humongous.

#51642
<Pentavite> i need help with my programming class
<Pentavite> what's an execution error?
<GenericLoser> It's when you kill the wrong person.

#3791
<ScumDog> in some ways, I wish I could sit around picking bananas all day

#33542
<issuez> k thats enough, im done be sappy
<issuez> ill listen to rammstein to counter everything

#56934
* ilsa waves her magic wand! omega turns into a cup of coffee!
* ilsa drinks the coffee
<ilsa> only way you're getting in my pants, baybee
<[O`megaX]> ilsa, totally worth it

#12339
<TommyLee> what site?
<Dan`> http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/
<TommyLee> you donated 3.00 ?
<Dan`> no
<XG3> fuck i did
<XG3> i thought it was mandatory

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