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#2870
* FiShYmAn kills Noddy
* FiShYmAn sells the film to ld saying its olsen twins for $50
[Noddy ] rfol
[Noddy ] he'd get off on it either way
#311395
Xhiel: OH MY GOD
Xhiel: so these's an online company that make mini bricks for construction stuff
Xhiel: and there's a reddit thread where a poster said he once masturbated used a miniature brick anally
Xhiel: and it got stuck inside, so he had to literally shit a brick
Xhiel: so someone links the website that makes tiny bricks
Xhiel: and the owner notices all the traffic
Xhiel: and tracks the fucking thread down
Xhiel: AND POSTS A 30% DISCOUNT CODE
Xhiel: "MINIBRICKDILDO"
Xhiel: AND THE GOD DAMNED CODE WORKS
Xhiel: I can't right now
Xhiel: I have lost my ability to even
Xhiel: AND HIS COMMENT IS GUILDED
Xhiel: THAT'S IT
Xhiel: I"M DONE
#30608
<God> my car broke
<God> so my dad bought me a 100 dollar geo metro to use until its fixed
<God> 1994
<God> 70,000 miles
<God> runs great
<God> i got hit by an 18 wheeler first day driving it and the guy gave me 300 bux on the spot
<God> hes like "no please i dont want to deal with cops or insurance" "how does 200 sounds" ...."uhhh.." "ok fine 300!"
<God> "i guess that works"
Comment: #xbox, irc.irctoo.net
#1830
<Acero> i dont know no strippers no more
<Acero> that was when i hung out in the ghetto
<Acero> but now i drive a nice car, so i dont go there
#101461
<Rendrag> just remember your car actually has to stop at stop signs
<Rendrag> my driving teacher only told me my wheels must stop rotating
<Rendrag> i took her at her word
<Rendrag> and slid it round the corner onto the main street at 60 with all four wheels locked up
<LDM> hahahahahaha, Nice one.
<Rendrag> needless to say i had to sit my test a second time :)
#2973
<Xta-C> i really need a gf
<Xta-C> ROFL
<Xta-C> gf3 even
<Xta-C> but yeah, a gf would be nice
#299673
<@jen> help my mom get a demonoid account? damn thing wont let me give her an invite since were same ip :-(
<+Ailieron> Why don't you just let your mom use your account?
<~Fax> then her mom will know that Jen's been dl-ing yaoi again
<@jen> the last time i downloaded yaoi was when mom forced me to find brokeback mountain
#303479
<Tom> Guys, I just pulled the best prank ever, took 2 months to do the whole thing.
<Matt> ... Go on?
<Charlie> what was it?
*** Joins: Craig
<Craig> Fuck guys, James died.
<Matt> What the fuck?! How?
<Craig> Noone knows, a midget found him dead in his bathroom apparently.
<Craig> He is up there on the suspect list.
*** Quits: Tom (Ermm.. sleep)
<Craig> That'll teach the prick to hide midgets in my bathroom.
*Craig is now known as James
#11708
<Nighters> I've decided that if i'm not happy when i'm 40 i'm going to kill 2-3 people who are like 18-19 with BRIGHT ASS FUTURES
#14220
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I'm sure that somewhere out there is the
right girl for you . Unfortunately, I think "out there" is measured in
light years.
#32027
DesertRemix: if i could fucking spell itd be a damn mircale
DesertRemix: ciracle
DesertRemix: ...
DesertRemix: +corrections
#56360
<segin> what is conky?
<tsunam> conky = a nice little display for various information about your computer
<segin> can i use it to watch pr0n?
<tsunam> it can tell you how much of your computer is being used for watching the pr0n
<segin> blah, i already know how much of my computer is being used to watch pr0n: not enough!
#118822
cycon365: autistic kids rock
cycon365: we're all afraid of him shooting us, so we take that into account and just try to talk and joke with him
cycon365: he talked with us and our teacher and kept making "your mom" jokes
kyo212: lawl
cycon365: we got tired of him talking in general so we tried to curb his "mom" jokes
cycon365: so we were like, "dude, you shouldn't make fun of people's moms, my mom could be dead"
cycon365: and the kid goes, "no she's not", so i look at him and go, "oh yeah, how do you know"
cycon365: and he quickly replies, "cuz she was awesome in bed last night"
kyo212: gawd, you got pwned by an autistic kid
#34067
<Slidey> It's sad when you dream of emulators.
<Slidey> It's even more sad when you have nightmares about IRC.
#7133
<Rasputin> eiiiiidle eidle eee
<Rasputin> eiiiidle eidle eee
<Rasputin> we won't be leavin' til we get some pus-sy sooooooo
<CrashCat> i'm not complainin' but shut up or I'll beat your brain in
#29051
<tito> asl
<czechreck> 13/hermaphrodite/locked in a basement so I can't polute humanitys gene pool
#2820
[Lord-Data] hell, woudlnt mind a girlfriend
[Duckarse] ditto
[incorrect] there's always ebay
#10942
<Sparky^> fucking perverts on Direcct Connect
<Sparky^> downloading all my porn
#70953
<Rjx> transcribing the parts of my journals for the last year that i can actually decipher
<Rjx> i think a lot of this is going to remain a mystery forever
<Rjx> "She might not be a slut. Maybe she just fell down a naked man mountain and forgot to close her legs before she hit the ground."
Comment: #geekissues
#8825
*dpk* man, i need to start taking cocaine.
*dpk* i keep getting winded waling up stairs
*necroid* you should just start smoking
*necroid* it'll make it worse, but at least you'll have an excuse
#15353
<Hvatti> MY CAPS-LOCK IS ON AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT OFF.. CAN ANYONE HELP ME???
<[DoD]Xiao> typ capslock button :P
<aegis> Hvatti: hold down shift while writing instead...^^
<Hvatti> hey that shift-thing works thx!!!
<Hvatti> but it*s pretty difficult to write while holding a shift:::
<Lilly-> omg
<Lilly-> Hvatti find "caps lock" key and press it once
<Lilly-> number 3 from bottom left
<Hvatti> where can i find it
<Tiger> hehe :D
<aegis> at the left of your keyboard
<Hvatti> ok thanx::
<Hvatti> YES IT WORKED!!!
<Lilly-> aamm
<aegis> apparently it didn't
<Lilly-> lol
<Hvatti> CAN I NOW RELEASE THE SHIFT?
<aegis> yes
<aegis> you have to release the shift.
<Lilly-> omg how sweet !!
<Hvatti> like this?
* Lilly- faints
<aegis> yep, just like that
#307045
* Half got Winston to eat a kitty treat out of her hand today.
Mango: Sometimes I forget if Winston is the cat or the boyfriend, but not this time.
#52608
arap816: hmm, so i just got back to my dorm after leaving in a hurry saturday morning
bob3: yes?
arap816: and i think i just summarized friday night with one question to my roommate
arap816: "why is there a doorknob on my desk?"
Comment: It was a serious question, and it's still a mystery.
#42176
<Xdude> what's the best spyware elimiator?
<Vespucci> del *.* /r
<Xdude> thanks
*** Xdude (X@.com) quit StarLink.Org : no route to host
<Vespucci> Actually, spybot search and destroy.
*** Xdude (X@.com) joined #stars!
<Vespucci> Oh fuck.
<Summoner> heheh
<Xdude> heh
<Xdude> fooled ya
<Vespucci> Got me.
<Vespucci> Heart rate and everything.
Comment: #stars! on Starlink
#311675
<worf_> ... FML
<worf_> "how to prevent Edge from reopening a page after a crash?"
<worf_> 1. unplug your ethernet cable and disable your wifi connection
<worf_> 2. start edge, which wont be able to load the page that is causing the crash because there is no internet connection
<worf_> 3. close the offending tab