Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#14581
<@crystalis> I wish I had a vagina
<@crystalis> I'd keep stuff in it
<@crystalis> like car keys and stuff
#31885
* ChanServ sets mode: +o TheArgus
<TheArgus> HELO
<Sofie> hey hottie!
<TheArgus> ?
<TheArgus> you've seen my pic?
<Sofie> no...
<Sofie> hehe
<TheArgus> So you're one of those internet sluts that hits on random guys in order to boost your self esteem when they desperately flirt with you in hopes of getting a blurry webcam pic of your cleavage?
<ravaillac> Smooth, TheArgus, very smooth.
<TheArgus> I AM A LADIES MAN
#11820
<LL-> why did u msg me?
<marry> realy im searching to get married
<marry> can you help me
<LL-> why u wanna get married?
<marry> becuse i dont want to live in gaza
#5863
<mp> i am convinced i am a woman
<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?
<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit
<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain
#3670
<Object> shutting down your computer is like putting your dog in a cage
<Object> you just don't do that
#8713
<arioch> Mario 69: Toadstool Gets Reamed
<fraggle> i'd love to give the princess a good bonin'
<aur__> sorry fraggle, but the princess is in another castle
#6401
<risca> how do you spell world?
<risca> as in "the whole world"
<mixie> world
#10058
<eV`Zenoge> Isn't herpies food?
<eV`Zenoge> like chocolate
<eV`Zenoge> wait a minute
<eV`Zenoge> thats hershes
#205799
<@Rjx> I found pictures of a high school ex-girlfriend a few weeks back
<@Rjx> and it looks like a mathematics degree took its toll on her
#2956
<blazemore> my chair is starting to smell bad from me farting in it so much
<blazemore> either that or it's the underwear i've been wearing for 4 days
#19809
* crikket stabbs x10 ads in the face
<Grue> Where're you getting x10 ads from? I get no ads. Bwahaha! \o/
<crikket> blah, i even have IE set them to restricted...
<Nikaji> hehe grue @ link
<Grue> But there is a price!
<crikket> prolly have to restrict the doonesbury site to keep x10 from popping up
<crikket> lol grue, your popup killer is adware isnt it?
#13446
<Demanicus> Well if this is how a period feels I have a whole new respect for women
#16512
<KagoniKnight>: You know how sometimes a dog humps your leg?
<Pong-Chan>: .....
<KagoniKnight>: Well, sometimes, why not hump back and show who's boss!!
#296664
< carbine> Go act mature somewhere else. This is the internet buddy.
#295489
<workthrick> I just got laid
<workthrick> off
#30472
<Kaelic> I don't even know how I am meant to generate a random number in pseudo code
<+Raven> 14!
<Kaelic> Call the pseudo code function for it? :p
<@EdorFaus> yea :P
<+Raven> you can use me to generate them
<@Wumpus> bah, 'sif 14
<@Wumpus> 42!
<+Raven> 8!
<@EdorFaus> just say "generate random number" :P
<+Raven> Kaelic: now you have 3, isn't that enough?
<@Wumpus> hehe, and in kaelic's pseudocode we find: call( raven )
<+Raven> lol
<Kaelic> hehe
<@EdorFaus> lol
#26314
<sit`> one of my female coworkers remarked about how i was cutting up my apple with great care so i said "you have to treat it like a woman, cut it in thin slices"
<sit`> didn't go over to well for some reason
#18241
(@Dangerman): ow...my...arse
(@Dangerman): not gonna do *that* for a while
#50715
(teh_Neo) Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out Of My Head
(teh_Neo) fucking song is stuck in my head
(teh_Neo) teh_Neo just noticed the irony in that =(
#3469
<blazemore> Windows XP Professional Uptime: 4wks 4hrs 55secs
<blazemore> time to reboot
<ScumDog> that's so retarded
<mandarin> heh...uptime is sad
<mandarin> more sad is most *nix nerds have longer uptime records than relationship records ;)
<mightyflo> Relationship OSR2 Sexual Uptime: 2wks 6hrs 12secs
#43336
<R3mix> once i asked a g33ky chick for her number
<R3mix> and she gave me an IP
<R3mix> it turned out to be the IP for the goatse server :(
#122104
Far2Paranoid: Knew this guy in HS
Far2Paranoid: Built a box with 2x 350Mhz Pentium2, back in '98
Far2Paranoid: The trick was, filled his bathtub w/ glycerin
Far2Paranoid: Took apart a mini-fridge and used the coils to cool the glycerin to ~40F
Far2Paranoid: Then sunk the box so he could OC the CPUs to 1.3Ghz
Far2Paranoid: Coolest shit I've ever seen.
AlbinoChpmnk: If this was sitting in his tub, how did he shower?
Far2Paranoid: After what I just said, what makes you think he showered?
#1615
<eastjinx> from 19 to now, my world has completely changed
<DigDug> my world changes every 6 months :[
<|steve|> the world has changed 3 times since the last time i been out
<sev> world changes for me everyday
<|steve|> but our penis size stays the same
#71698
<TMH_> does anyone else find that they are in a fuckton of channels
<TMH_> and they only actually care about two or three
<jmx> define a fuckton?
<Thuryn> ten times a buttload
<LPF> that's a metric fuckton
Comment: #geekissues
#913
<matt`> dear god freshmeat looks like ass
<matt`> probably making use of the html 5 <ass> tag
<matt`> <ass tables><hard to read text>blah blah blah</hard to read text><more ass tables><gayness></more ass tables><some gay color></gayness><ass tables>