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#56888
<dizzy_> BlueInferno why did you give up on christianity?
<BlueInferno> dizzy_, I read the bible.
#150316
<Jackal>: So I went over to my hippie neighbor's house and asked for a pot holder, he went inside and came out with a sandwich bag...... note to self new best friend.
#30643
<SDS91> she's 80 pounds, it would be like having sex with a child
<MaTriX-> omg, tell her to put on a little weight
<MaTriX-> u'll be fucking bones
<MaTriX-> :p
<SDS91> no thanks
<SDS91> I have no problem fucking children
#2778
<schwack> if there's one thing i hate its everything
#33468
<djevan> ok i'm going to jump off a fucking bridge
<RonJo> why??
<djevan> i was reading bash a couple weeks ago and my dad comes in and asks 'what site is that' and i told him bash.cx
<djevan> well today him and i went shopping
<djevan> and we're talking, and he goes 'so have you checked out the latest additions to bash'
<RonJo> OMG that's a geeks worst nightmare dude
* RonJo hands dj the bullet
<djevan> thanks
*** Quits: djevan (Exit: killing myself ask RonJo for details)
#82477
<sir_dilla> man, i suck at this game. can you give me a few pointers?
<samson> 0x3A28213A, 0x6339392C, 0x7363682E
<sir_dilla> i hate you
#297328
Zous: so the other day on my way to work, I walked by a couple people who were taking a smoke break outside of the building
Zous: as I was walking by I heard one say "You know, I hear Splenda's supposed to be really bad for you"
#1204
<Karmer> I am as eternal as the boundless limits of outer space, and my owner loathes and despises me
<mike> leprosy
<Karmer> no
<Karmer> it is
<Karmer> slidey's virginity
#8734
Walter39: I woke up in a ditch last night
Walter39: Not sure why
Walter39: Family left me, i cant afford pants
Walter39: But on a plus note, I finally won master status at Everquest
#6646
<rewben> we are not perverts ;p
<akiron> speak for youself ;)
#28482
< toby_> whats wrong with itanium?
<@dive> toby: its the windows registry of processors
#42176
<Xdude> what's the best spyware elimiator?
<Vespucci> del *.* /r
<Xdude> thanks
*** Xdude (X@.com) quit StarLink.Org : no route to host
<Vespucci> Actually, spybot search and destroy.
*** Xdude (X@.com) joined #stars!
<Vespucci> Oh fuck.
<Summoner> heheh
<Xdude> heh
<Xdude> fooled ya
<Vespucci> Got me.
<Vespucci> Heart rate and everything.
Comment: #stars! on Starlink
#196072
* Obsidian slowly eats a bowl of muslim
<Budrick> Er
<Budrick> You have issues, man.
<Obsidian> The other one
<Obsidian> Cereal-muslim
<Budrick> Muesli.
<Obsidian> There we go. Muesli.
#34505
<philth> I quit reading after to kill a mockingbird gave no advice on how to kill a mackingbird
#3969
<blazemore> these japanese guys walked up to me and my friend and started talking to us
<blazemore> and asking which bands we like
<blazemore> so we started naming some off but they hadn't heard of any of them
<blazemore> then i'm like "uh... guns 'n roses"
<blazemore> and they're all "oh yes, we like them very much!"
<ScumDog> you should've whistled "patience" to them
<ScumDog> as a universal message of love
<ScumDog> it transcends the spoken word
#8771
<bishun> dont get fresh with me
<hydro-> but i'm using the all new summers eve douche
<hydro-> it says i can be fresh whenever i want
#6711
* Racked recalls the past: my teacher said, "I have a 10-foot snake here"....to which I replied, "oh no you don't....snakes don't have feet!"
* GPF recalls saying something like that to a teacher and getting detention
#1527
<Geothermal> Jesus, I can only say so many things about fat people before they become redundant. I think it would help if they all flew to their own personal little island made of gumdrops and then ate themselves to the bottom of the sea like some kind of Atlantis. You know, only really fat.
#243326
<Anarkii> Security staff in the airport's Qantas domestic terminal discovered a number of passengers had made it to their gate just before 6.30pm (AEST) without proper security screening
<+brad`> how can you tell someone hasnt been properly screened?
<rioter> brad` they are not walking like they just got fucked in the arse
#42441
EvilAngel remembers, a long time ago, when his bf at the time answered the door knowing it was jehovah's witnesses. naked. and... wet. :)
<EvilAngel> I remember hearing *door creak* "yyaah?" "Oh MY! I'm... soo sorry!" "No, no dude, it's all right, we just came, come on it!" "UhhNO! We'll.... come back later!"
<EvilAngel> "..... You SURE? We have enough lube for everyone!!"
#47009
<noisypop> meh what am I gonna do for 2 hours
<raw3> jack me off
<noisypop> then what for the remaining 1 hour and 59 minutes?
#12076
<Scibert> Meeko: I know nothing about the female waste system, but I would tend to think that having an emitter that you move around would make your aim better.
<Chirako> She lowered her lips to his... swelling emitter...
#7134
<Grant|BnW> Have you seen what happens if you give the mariners a sheep?
<CrashCat> lots of uses
<Grant|BnW> "A sheep. Lovely! Sheep have many uses, and the voyage is long."
<CrashCat> try giving them a woman
<Grant|BnW> What do they say?
<Grant|BnW> I'm trying to be nice now, so I don't want to if they'll rape or eat her.
<Grant|BnW> I wouldn't put anything past fucking accordian players.
#51050
<@kickaha> I'm beginning to be seduced by the life of leisure shit.
<Franoculator> run for President. You get 6 weeks of vacation per month.
<`WarpKat> yea...and also whenever there's a crisis
#2858
* semi realises that my videocard is better then MrP-'s old computer
<MrP-> hell, i masturbate at a higher frequency than my old pc