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#54639
<Yaksha> I asked my brother what he wanted for Christmas.
<Yaksha> He said he wanted cold hard cash.
<Yaksha> So that's exactly what I gave him.
<Yaksha> I got 20 $1 bills, soaked them in water and put them in the freezer.
<Yaksha> When he got it, it was just a block of green ice that took a day to thaw.
#15562
<Tobal> looks like the UK is working to make pot a non-arestable offence
<ssrit> I'd move there.
<ssrit> Where is that?
#46199
<DrWorm> shit
<putaid> what?
<DrWorm> I just fucked over Josh bad
<putaid> how?
* Joshinator has joined #myhead
<DrWorm> I screwed his girlfriend
<Joshinator> who the what now?
Comment: he found out :-X
#5804
<+mirkin> does anybody know if it is possible using ms access to create a report which shows the records of a table
<+mirkin> but shows 3 columns across the page
<+mirkin> i.e
<+mirkin> record 1 record 2 record 3
<+mirkin> record 4 record 5 record 6
<+GoodScrat> That is impossible
<+GoodScrat> Computers are not that far advanced yet
#2854
<Strafer> If you get collisions on a wireless LAN, do you see sparks in mid-air?
#24382
<Zone-MR> Nope, but my gayfever is killing me
<Zone-MR> OMFG, Damn. Why did the QUERTY designer have to place the 'G' next to the 'H' :'(
#11117
<@puto|^_...> i went in the restroom to take a piss
<@puto|^_...> then my fucking shorts snuck out of my reach
<@puto|^_...> and fuckign snapped my penis up while pissing
<@puto|^_...> fuckign pissed everywhere and on myself
#307156
Pizzicato: In my head, the way the defence budget in the states is handled is some dude pules up to a drive-thru window at a huge factory and a voice crackles over the intercom
Pizzicato: 'Hi, welcome to the DoD! How can I help you?'
Pizzicato: The guys looks at the menu and goes 'Uhhhhhhhh I'll take....2,433 F-35s, 30 Virginia class submarines, a fleet of V-22s, FA-18EFs, and another fleet of EA-18Gs'.
Pizzicato: Then the dude on the intercom says 'Okay, that will be 137 billion dollars, please pull around to the second window!'
Comment: #EquestriaAfterDark on GeekShed (irc.geekshed.net)
#15905
(juslooken) i looked at the bouncer and said 'u dont need to see my id'
(juslooken) and he said 'i dont need to see your id
(juslooken) it was very jedi
#307947
<Pryoidain> So I had this brilliant Idea to patch portage to support Regex....
<Pryoidain> Like..massive regex standard strings
<LtBrenton> @_@
<Pryoidain> and then just for curiosity I ran emerge --search --desc ***
<Pryoidain> This system sounds like a turbine and I've lost a shell >.>
#11433
<EC> bikeracer doesn't understand biggles
<fet> no one does
<biggles> my hairdresser understands me
#234806
<Xoke> drinking decaf is like masturbating and faking an orgasm
Comment: #linuxcranks
#10946
* wrostek [~wrostek@HSE-Toronto-ppp296735.sympatico.ca] has joined #root
<wrostek> can anyone tell me if its possible to get windows ME to boot to the command prompt and not load windows?
<Varak> ask in #windows
<wrostek> They dont know
<Varak> big suprise
<Varak> go ask in #cisco, they are really helpful with windows questions too
<wrostek> ok thanks
#304213
Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [stephanie] is ready to assist you.
User: Hi. Stephanie?
stephanie: Hello
stephanie: What brings you to Mormon.org?
User: Well I'm christian reformed but a lot of my friends are mormon
User: and I've been having trouble with my family but they never do
User: Would converting help my family life?
User: Is there much of a difference between christian and mormon?
stephanie: Mormons are Christian
User: I thought they were amphibians
The chat session has ended.
#301233
<@Sebas_> Hahaha, there's a book called "Modern Financial Accounting" in one of our book cases, and according to the back text, you can read it "for pleasure or by necessity."
<@Sebas_> Who the FUCK reads a 1000 page book on fucking accounting for pleasure?
#43872
<@kf`ill> I went with a girl to a bar once, she had one boob bigger then the other, there was a breast contest to see who's was the biggest, she took 1st and third place
Comment: #script @ irc.gamesurge.net
#8673
<X-man> i had a comp sci teacher that named her dog scsi
<X-man> i felt bad for it
#7545
< Bayls > Sheesus. Was it this dead -before- I got here? :)
< annie > yeah
< Bayls > Hmmm, musta been. Weird, I didn't see any Star Trek marathons on tonight.
#31807
<[NCA]Spank> I was pretty dumb about computers.
<[NCA]Spank> Then I learned you could get porn on them.
<[NCA]Spank> 3 years later I'm a system administrator.
#3998
<Donitz> Do you like waffles?! Do you like Nazi propaganda?! Then do we have the restaraunt for you!
#31839
<Sasha> i had 12 GBs of porn... think im going to "clean-out" my c-drive tomorrow
<Sasha> see how much space i can get
<Hagane> ....
<Sasha> i like variety alright, shut up
<Hagane> wait wtf. arent you the person who goes crazy saying OMG PORNS FOR WIMPS
<Hagane> or something
<Sasha> not really...
<Sasha> nothing wrong with porn..
<Sasha> better than cybering
<Sasha> like i said, i get bored with the same thing and im too lazy to delete all my shit
<Hagane> try hentai
<Sasha> i did
<Hagane> women being fictionaly raped by tenticles never get old
<Sasha> there's only so many times before i can see the same damn tentacle
<Hagane> haha
<Sasha> hmm.. i have a feeling im going to be a bad boyfriend someday...
<Sasha> er, husband*
<Hagane> whys that?
<Sasha> <Sasha> like i said, i get bored with the same thing and im too lazy to delete all my shit
#76942
<Foxhill[away]> vista was released yesterday
<Foxhill[away]> 6 security updates released today
<Foxhill[away]> go go microsoft
<eranu> i thought its whole selling point was it was 'more secure' than xp
<Foxhill[away]> vista may be the most secure after Windows ME
<Foxhill[away]> cus no-one used that either
<Foxhill[away]> ME didn't actually spend enough time between crashes for a virus infection to kick in
#41472
<nightjade> I actually had a constant 6.66KBPS download once. It never changed, I was scared shitless.
#35206
<Rjx> I seriously need to take a piss
<Rjx> but the door is blocked up
<Neon[UK]> why?
<Rjx> bats
<Rjx> got to keep them out
<Rjx> I may have to pee out the window
Comment: #geekissues
#306405
<goretext>so when I was in HS, I would hack the wifi with my ipod.
<goretext>the school caught on so they started looking at the ipod names to try and figure it out.
<goretext>every 3 days i would change its name to "(insert popular girls name here)'s iphone"
<goretext> 3 of them were suspended before i stopped
<wedge> oh god, that's funny.
<goretext> it won me class clown.