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#49356
RrR00Tt: ur makin him a computer?
RasmusMelanie: yah
RasmusMelanie: he broke my heart and left me dead and depressed....so im returning the favor...im installing windows 98 as we speak
#289253
<@matja> christ that made me jump. just rebooted my pc with new overclock settings and the neighbour fires up a hammer drill the other side of the wall
#151794
<cyclonut> the whole "you must use our browser" "you have been authenticated" bla bla bla bullcrap doesnt sit well with me
<homerj> they detect your IP, contact your ISP for your information. Then they sneak into your house and install Vista
<homerj> then charge it to your bank account
<cyclonut> homerj, and then take a crap in your toilet and not flush. thats their trademark
<homerj> cyclonut, yes, that's how you know it wasn't just random vandalism
<RioMerc> Anyone who craps in your toilet and doesn't flush gets sued for trademark infringement
#18421
<humpy> "I was in #paintball on the enterthegame network. Everyone around me screaming in horror at the llamas. It was shrilling, like the kind of shrills you get washing your parents underwear, the kind of shrills that no man should ever hear. This was my hell."
<Fryth> i think your washing machine is b0rked
#56520
<emilying> i said no.
<whooka> Jesus, what crawled up your vagina and died?
<devin_11> ...
<themike> ...
<themike> dude, she just had a miscarriage. not funny.
Comment: #methlab on freenode
#56157
(+tfg) I wonder how far my punto could tow a caravan
(gez) nowhere without being illegal, otherwise anywhere downhill
(+tfg) how would it be illegal?
(gez) your licence wont cover it
(+tfg) wrong
(+tfg) as long as it's under 3 tonne I'm sorted
(gez) you sure?
(+tfg) I can drive a car + trailer up to a combined mass of 3500KG
(gez) who the fuck tows anything over 3 tons?
(Jani) aeroplanes weigh over 3 tonnes
(gez) true
(gez) i must remember not to tow mine to school tomorrow
(Jani) gonna fly it instead?
#29125
<auntbunny> meandthespacebarhadanargumentandnowwearenttalking
#50174
<Raynor> yo yo yo hows cornell
<Jolteon> cool, im actually not months behind in school work like last year
<Zoinky> that's because it hasn't been months since you started
#1273
<Fakester> hmm, I wonder if Wal-Mart would ask for ID on a return...
<Fakester> that could be a problem
<Tortri> if they do, well... tell them you forgot it, take the DC back home
<Tortri> then you'll be stuck with a new dc
<Fakester> Tortri: I'm currently unemployed, I don't have $100 to waste like that.
<Tsengie> sell it to some stupid kid for 119
<Tsengie> tell him it's a ps2
#41142
<Ne0rC> I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential.
<clonak> ....
<clonak> O_O
#182512
<Orochi> Well dude, think about it, it beats sticking your dick in the air and being all like "LOOOK AAAT MAAAH JUUUUNK" or something
<Orochi> oh shit wrong window
Orochi acks
<Cirabeau> >.< Xd
<Roxas> lmfao
<Kazuma> XD
<Cirabeau> roflmao
<Orochi> omg I'm closing this shit D:
Orochi [Orochi@Nightstar-5017.hlrn.qwest.net] has quit IRC: Quit: bb tomorrow D
#97707
<Austin> Outlook suggests "Mozilla Firefox" be spelled "Melissa Firebox."
<Austin> Melissa Firebox is a GREAT porn star name.
<aaron> especially a red head
<pthree> definitely
#280960
Yan: This one time i was at a girlfriend's house
Yan: Spent the night there and everything went well
Yan: It was like 11:30 and we were in her basement and i was tired as hell so i told myself ill nap for like 30 minutes and then leave
Yan: I woke up and it was like 7:30 am. So i wake the girl up, she freaks out and asks why the fuck am i still home. She then tells me to leave and get out quick by the window.
Yan: Great idea except i had this oldschool Datsun 510 track ready that was so fucking loud i couldnt leave with it.
Yan: She wakes her parents up and tells them i slept over and nothing happened bla bla. Her dad comes out of the bedroom.
Yan: This guy is BIG ex military deep voice just plain scary. Looks at me and says "hey come to breakfast with us" i of course just wanna bounce. He insists and says "whats wrong? Had too much desert last night?"
Yan: I don't even know how i left after that.
#20052
<Pozzi> My comments will be well structured, mature and on topic at all times.
<Pozzi> Now fuck you all!
#43842
<Lacey> int *y; for (int i = 0; i < 1000; i++) { y = &y; }
<Lacey> Someone handed that to me and asked: "Why doesn't it work"
<Lacey> I stared at it and finally asked "What do you think it is supposed to even do?!?!"
<dfryer> what did they want it to *do*?
<Lacey> They thought it was a linked list...
Comment: #planeshift
#43636
<JibberJim> Pope buried in St Peter's crypt
<JibberJim> Isn't that a bit unfair on St Peter?
<JibberJim> making them share like that?
Comment: #swhack on irc.freenode.net
#118
<voln> I am going to build the first car that has built-in IRC
#14562
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, LEMMER... A LOT OF BEER
<lemmer> HOORAY
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, COOLZX... A GIRLFRIEND
<coolzx> NOW I HAVE 34
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, BENCO... A BOYFRIEND
<Benco> ^_^
#306334
<Chaos341> oh my god
<Chaos341> In the 3DS remake of Metal Gear Solid Snake Eater
<Chaos341> You are able to use the 3DS's built in camera to take a picture and make that picture into camouflage pattern
<Chaos341> So many dick patterns will be made
#28319
<NeonDawn> Does anyone know if there exists some irc-script (bX or egg) that lets other users open a shell through dcc?
<cwd> NeonDawn: i think you're looking for GetOwned v1.3
<NeonDawn> cwd: thanks, i'll try it
#14448
<@harb> Andy: 01:16 < Danelope> http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=30319
<@kitten> JESUS FUCK
<@kitten> THERE ARE NOW SEVEN FUCKING POPUP WINDOWS
<@harb> Oh yeah.
<@harb> Andy uses IE.
<@harb> Sorry about that.
< Danelope> Hahaha.
< Danelope> IE is for cocksksksk.
<@harb> <cypher> I don't even see the popups anymore.
<@harb> <cypher> Just blonde. Brunette. Redhead.
< Danelope> <cypher> Just viagra, penis enlargement, 581% more cum.
#4479
<Khross> andy, time for the secret unix decoder handshake.
* andy sodomizes Khross
* Khross orgasms
<Khross> Okay, we can start the meeting.
#8666
<bbl-away> sheeesh sickjay, ease up on the #eos spam
<CactusJac> don't talk to him that way
<CactusJac> he's my boyfriend
<bbl-away> well, take him and get a room
<CactusJac> we're exhibitionists
#28965
<[Piratez]> lol i had ice in ma glass, i left it for a while, i just took a look at the glass and i was thinking, 'who the fuck stole ma ice'...
<[Piratez]> go figures where it went :)
#296944
(FormerlyHumane) then answer me this: why is the acid in Alien so much stronger than Aliens?
(Squint) Dilution
(FormerlyHumane) also the size of the planet changes
(Squint) With more aliens, the acid had to be watered down to fill all of their bodies.
(FormerlyHumane) makes sense
(Squint) But in the first movie, there was only the one, so the acid was more concentrated.
(FormerlyHumane) but how did the planet get bigger?
(Squint) Zoom, man. Zoom.
(FormerlyHumane) I don't know if I buy that
(Squint) You know how when you look through binoculars, small things look bigger?
(FormerlyHumane) I guess so
(Squint) Boom.
(Squint) I'm going to bed.