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#3061
<MadScribe> i WILL NEVER EVER live below someone again
<MadScribe> he is apparently redoing the fucking floor
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> for the last fucking hour
<MadScribe> geezus
<toNe> you sure he's not just fucking his wife?
#2705
(kap) damn im gassy tonight
(kap) too bad eSmell went out of buisness
(kap) i could punish you guys forever
#310922
<whyrusleeping> last time i went to ikea i left with a bunch of artistic twigs and a different girlfriend
<whyrusleeping> still have the twigs
#6246
* Cerebus laughs evilly under appropriately spooky lighting as lightning strikes and thunder explodes outside around the High Tower of jadecore on top of Elitist Bastard Mountain in the Kingdom of Fuck.
#307520
<%[ill]will> psyfail: I need you to do something for me.....I need you to kill a man you do not know, for reasons I can not explain, in exchange for an amount of money that cannot be discussed.
<+psyfail> [ill]will: can i rape the corpse?
<%[ill]will> you make that deicision when your cross that bridge
<+psyfail> do you need the corpse to be completely intact when it is found?
<%[ill]will> you make that decision when your cross that bridge
<+psyfail> do you mind if pictures of it eventually get to the internet, or if groups of people are allowed to do whatever they want to it for an hourly rate?
<%[ill]will> as long as you blur out the pubic region like the japanese do
<+psyfail> can i take the corpse to the bahamas and recreate the 1980s smash hit movie Weekend At Bernie's with an independent crew from Hollywood and a second crew in New York to shoot the background shots we'll need when we wrap in June?
<%[ill]will> the person has an ankle bracelet and cant leave the state
#55309
<Zymph_> java kid... he is a kid of java? who is the mother/father ? :P
<T2k> hatred and pain
#118453
<Timboss> ur a ray of sunshine on an otherwise midly overcast day with medium risk of percipitation and low UV and pollen count indexes
#1787
<kisama> only amanda would place her faith in something written in object pascal.
#4502
<Khross|Zzz> You can't have my precious cock ring.
<nilBnW|Zzz> You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead cock!!
#28488
<Deepthroat> The thing that always got me about the goatse.cx guy is that he's wearing a wedding ring. Does his wife know he can cram a week's worth of camping gear up there? Does she know that her husband's gaping ass has become an internet super sensation? Is it a secret, or is she a part of his anal adventures? Did she clap when he managed to solve a Rubik's cube using only the muscles of his colon?
<StarDonut> Deepthroat: For all you know, she's the one with the camera.
#16372
<Cyberllam> I want to get a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I am doing an excellant job driving." Then I can cut people off and they won't know what to do.
#10606
<Gr1nR> I tell girls..."I need a file - but its stuck in this archive named PANTS.ZIP - what should I do???"
#18916
<ungod> stormo was talking about sex leigh :(
<lsd> ewww
<lsd> wrong!
-:- SignOff ungod: #lgl (error)
<Fryboy> see how wrong it was!
<Fryboy> it made ungod quit!
<lsd> error: wrongness overflow
#15037
<su-Septik`wrk> when the world trade center bombing occurred, the reporters said they could not retrieve the black box. my friend, who was stoned at the time, said "goddamn, ppl must be desperate for a playstation 2"
#302071
<rigeld2> Just got a workorder with a list of domains who supposedly blacklist us. Our domain is on that list. I wonder when we started blacklisting ourselves.
* rigeld2 stabs stupid people
<inode0> I would do it if I had the power
<inode0> I could improve the lives of 60,000 people just like that
#8075
<minkus> ohh my god these pies taste great
<minkus> if only i could fuck them
<minkus> WAIT! I CAN
#29613
<LordByron{l}> I didn't steal nuthin.... I "reassigned ownership"
Comment: ACN #bdsm_dungeon
#4419
<EnochRoot> #include pestilence.h
#50213
<Milktea> theres a lotta controversey about 9-11
<W1N9Zr0> it's -2
#30749
[06:45] <Newfiebul> ok.. i'll stay connected, and could you PM me when you get home?
[06:47] <[GizMo2]> yeah
[06:47] <Newfiebul> ok thanks
* Quits: Newfiebul
[06:48] <DaCaptn> thats an awesome job of staying connected
#12032
<unswornangel> naw, i will just throw it back at you. . . doc
<sportsdoc> good i love a battle of wits.. i feel like you are the afgans and I am the US though.
<unswornangel> what? how so?
<sportsdoc> I rest my case
#3321
<Road> { private: long member; }
<Road> but for me, that would be a long long
<DAL9000> Road: you'd have to cast it to a char though.
<Road> DAL9000: Hmm, that would cause an overflow
<DAL9000> hah.
<DAL9000> no big deal, i hear you always prematurely core dump anyway
<Road> hahah, ouch
<DAL9000> I COUNTER YOUR GEEK COUNTER WITH AN EVEN GEEKIER COUNTER.
#294406
(Bucks) That is why you hate midgets?
(@Fantasy) yep, I blame that evil midget in rehab
(refused) no rehab is complete without an evil midget
(@Fantasy) headbutted me in thr balls
(refused) LOL
(@Fantasy) and he was perfect height
(refused) rofl
(Bucks) rofl
(@Fantasy) his head was literally crotch height
(refused) who the fuck even does that
(@Fantasy) that midget
(refused) ... yeah obviously... but wtf.
(@Fantasy) after you spend a month making midget jokes
(refused) lol
(@Fantasy) to a cocaine addict in rehab
(@Fantasy) than on family/friends day having all your friends make fun of his midget kind
(@Fantasy) he came up and said something like "stop shitting, dog"
(refused) you kinda deserved it then
(@Fantasy) I laughed
(@Fantasy) he said you want to start something
(@Fantasy) I said say it to my face
(@Fantasy) and LAUGHED
(@Fantasy) he headbutted me in the balls
(@Fantasy) I was on the ground
(refused) yeah of course
(@Fantasy) crying
(refused) I'd give that fucking midget a medal
(@Fantasy) so he squatted down and said "stop messing with me"
(@Fantasy) right in my face
(Bucks) what an wesome midget
(@Fantasy) had to get a new roomate after that
(@Fantasy) since the midget was my roomate
(@Fantasy) and since then I've been afraid of midgets
#1557
<Badforyou> Does anyone know where you can buy large, exceptionally strong plastic bags, fake dog poo, sulphuric acid, aroma therapy candles, and a ten pound dead doberman on the internet?
<freekoala> all but the dead dog on amazon.com i bet
<freekoala> you could put together your 'amazon.com' wishlist and send it to people. they will wonder about the theme, but keep them wondering.
#83178
Rs Conqueror: dude
Xenocidaltendncy: hey whatup
Rs Conqueror: "sum up your sex life using star wars quotes"
Xenocidaltendncy: ...
Rs Conqueror: "you were right about one thing, the negotiations were short"
Xenocidaltendncy: young fool... only now, at the end, do you understand
Rs Conqueror: "how're we doing kid?" "same as always.." "that bad huh?"
Xenocidaltendncy: "if money is all you want, then that's what you'll get"
Rs Conqueror: "Ten thousand?? We could buy our own ship for that!"
Xenocidaltendncy: "these aren't the droids you're looking for"
Rs Conqueror: "I don't care what you smell, just get in there you big lug!"
Xenocidaltendncy: "going in at that speed, do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
Rs Conqueror: "No luke... I am your father"
Xenocidaltendncy: "and now, princess, we will discuss the location of your rebel base" *thwrum thwruuum thwruuuuum*
Rs Conqueror: "judge me by my size do you?"
Xenocidaltendncy: "Yeah, but this time I've got the money"
Rs Conqueror: She may not look like much, but "she's got it where it counts, kid."
Rs Conqueror: "I haven't seen him. It's possible he came in through the south entrance."
Xenocidaltendncy: "I've got a feeling I'm never going to see her again"
Rs Conqueror: "and I thought these things smelled bad... on the outsde"
Xenocidaltendncy: "Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it"
Rs Conqueror: "You're not actually going INTO an asteroid field...!!!"
Rs Conqueror: "Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is!"