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#55637
<Immortal> Yesterday my dad was yelling at me and said, "You're going to respect your mother you son of a bitch."
<Immortal> Then he hit me for laughing.
#31004
<Kasidori> my stepdad wouldn't let metake a piccy for this reason: You may think you know your bestfriends, but profit prevails all! They will take the picture of your head and put it on a naked body and sell it on E-bay.
#27913
<@bandXXX> HAHAHA clipse is on new justin timberlake album
<@bandXXX> sad thing is
<@Blaxthos> that you know this
#33402
Frylock: that was the best conversation ever!
Pie: what was?
Frylock: i was getting stoned at a friends house last night, so i called him a few hours ago to pick me up and i asked where he was and he says "jail, where are you?"
Pie: lol
Frylock: "WHAT?!" "I'm in jail, the place with the cops and the prisoners"
Pie: lol o_o
Comment: True Story...He got out the same night.
#52744
<Nanuq> Steakk: "Which of the following would you most prefer? A: A puppy, B: A pretty flower from your sweetie, or C: A large properly formatted data file?"
<Steakk> Nanuq: depends...whats in the data file?
#35875
<mog> oops
<mog> in jeopardy, it was like crossword clues D
<mog> or something
<ocean2> what on earth are you talking about
<mog> it was "This anonymous source helped to bring down the Nixon Administration"
<mog> it was deep throat
<mog> but I yelled out Blow Job accidentally
<mog> in front of my mom and sister
<mog> :/
<mog> my mom kicked me off the couch, haha
#10461
<melanarchy> I mean I don't want to be too mean
<melanarchy> but there are levels of acceptable IRC stupidity
#18241
(@Dangerman): ow...my...arse
(@Dangerman): not gonna do *that* for a while
#60819
<pinky> hmm
<pinky> if i give the ants enough time they'd clean the kitchen themselves
#8438
<cactoid> my god, the new lara croft has enormous gonzagas
<cactoid> i wonder if she goes for overweight australian it professionals
#309185
<lucky> i got into it with an asphalt contractor at work and then had his truck towed for being in a handicapped space.
<SatNiGHTS> did you shout at him "MENTAL HANDICAPS DON'T COUNT!"?
<lucky> the best part? the lines are barely visible because HE didn't paint them as he was hired to do last summer. so he didn't see them.
<lucky> he came storming in, scared my paraschiz resident (poor guy), and demanded he be "payed what he was owed for his time in August". i told him that according to our records, he was paid exactly what he was owed - in that, he was paid for what he did, not what the original contract said. He never re-striped the lot or sealed the south end of the cul de sac.
<lucky> he wouldn't shut up. i asked him to leave. he didn't. i told him to leave. he didn't. i made his truck leave without him while he was making an irate phone call.
<myself> did he see it in mid-tow, or only after it was gone?
<lucky> mid tow. told him they regularly monitor the handicapped spaces, it is after all a senior community. his reply : "YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE FUCKING SYMBOL!!!!" my reply: "my point exactly."
#307472
<Jessica_Lily> yeh i gave my mac a drink of cider
<Jessica_Lily> turned out not to like it
<Jessica_Lily> keyboard, hdd and trackpad stopped working
<moylan1> ironic that a mac can't handle apple juice?
#56408
JennyWang08: i think ihave
JennyWang08: starting to have
JennyWang08: problems communicate
QreepyBORIS: Really.
#4382
<Euri> When I was 20 (still worked as a waiter), I went out to eat with a friend at a nice-ish restaurant. There was a guy with his girlfriend/mistress/cheap hooker in front of me yelling at the hostess because they took 10 minutes to bring his food to him. So, I went up and asked him how he was doing, and why he didn't call.. and asked if his rash was clearing up.
#37298
<Dolph> beeeeeeee op beeop bop bop crankkkkkkkkk bzzzzt beeee be be be booooooooooooo be bong be bong be bahhhhhhhhhh biiiiiiiii bahhhhhhhh
<UnderCover> wtf
<Dolph> "Welcome"
<Dolph> "Youve got mail"
<Dolph> "Dah ding"
<Dolph> "Deh do"
<Dolph> hehe 56k
#14237
<Armiatge> When I was 5
<Armiatge> I got a penny stuck in my nose
<Armiatge> Man.... good times...good times..
#3620
<meohmy> at the end of the day its smokers that keep the hospitals running
#31955
* Hyou-Chan[draw] (kyoshyu@Admin.Nightstar.Net) Quit (Quit: Every night, you come when I sleep; you touch me; you suck me; you enjoy it, and then leave me to suffer... Goddamn mosquito!)
#6701
Chargon[HorsebackArchery] is now known as Sir_Chargon
<Eric> Horseback Archery.
<Eric> D00d, drive-by shooting. It's a sign of the times.
<Kataclysm> Yes, but a ride-by shooting just doesn't have the same effect as a drive-by.
<Eric> Good point. ANYONE can kill a horse, but a car doesn't stagger when it's down.
<Kataclysm> That, and horses don't have tinted power windows either.
#42169
<+aeonite> Doom 3 is too dark
Jeff> Adds to the atmosphere
<Jeff> It's part of the story, anyway. The power is out everywhere. All you got is a flashlight
<+aeonite> it's lazy
<+aeonite> they were like "oh shit these levels look like crapass" "we'll just make every level pitch black then"
<Jeff> Yeah, I'm sure the people at ID were like "Ehhh, we get tired of making good graphics. Let's just make it dark"
Comment: #fark
#17871
<Anton> Facial stabbing. Oozing blood. Shotgun vaginally inserted. Brains splatter over the wall. GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!
<Anton> is a good death metal track
#1267
uiu j0sh69!#linuxbox is looking for a site that teaches you how to steal cars and steal radios please msg me if your know, it is for a good cause
#162497
jdbugg87: ok i just ripped a cd...what the hell is .ogg
adanedhel728: it's a file extension, kind of like "doc" is short for "document," "ogg" is short for "oh good god, what an annoying file format"
#57882
<Lews> If my CPU has fused to the heatsink, is there a way to separate the two without damaging either?
#34218
<Slime> I think in ten years time I will look back on days like this and cry.
<Slime> The times I spent at 2am talking about girls who have dicks and legs made of slugs eating each other whilst melting.
<Slime> My future wife will be all "Tell me what you did as a teenager" and I will say "NOW IS TIME FOR SLEEP"
<MechaMrEd> And then you'll notice she has an erection