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#300976
<HalfNote5> From XP setup screen: "Record data to CD as easily as saving to a floppy disk!"
<HalfNote5> ... maybe it IS time to retire it."

#4075
<Zooropa> :B
<Lynkx> you have an ass on your chin

#34219
<domenow> I'm gripping your cock hard
<ThAtGuy> i'm feeling your breasts
<ThAtGuy> my dick is getting really hard now
<domenow> yeah, mine too
<domenow> I mean... err.

#2956
<blazemore> my chair is starting to smell bad from me farting in it so much
<blazemore> either that or it's the underwear i've been wearing for 4 days

#309228
<arieldanielle> There's an apartment complex in which a dead girl was found recently
<arieldanielle> Now they have a sign outside advertising "killer leasing specials"

#7901
* Argent- changes topic to '<beth> IRN has visions of me on my knees, cock in hand, looking up with huge brown eyes, saying "m-mister.. are you sure this is right?"'

#1350
<Sharkey> Man, I'm getting flashbacks from Renegade. Apparently when I was a kid I was so bored I made up little songs to go with the damned music and now it's all coming back to me.
<Sharkey> Nothing remarkable, though. Mostly just little ditties about killing myself.

#3584
MrProgrmmr: I want to encode my sperms DNA with the DeCSS code, that way when I jack off, I'd be breaking the law

#10021
<matts> I was on vacation and I saw this casino advertisement  on the highway: "LOOSEST $1 SLOTS" and they had a picture of a woman on it and then I realized that this casino ad could be taken the wrong way :P

#32782
<@Jon> Your eyes are like two limpid pools of loveliness, your hair is like a golden waterfall.
<@Jon> Plus those short skirts you wear make me really horny.
Comment: #rohitab irc.wikkedwire.com

#34600
<homerj_> DDR modes are like EASY, NORMAL, AZN

#10726
<FuriousG> shan|bbl
<FuriousG> you there?
<FuriousG> guess not
<FuriousG> but, one day, you will be there, and then, then... you will be at my mercy, and i will not be benevolent
<FuriousG> *sigh*
<FuriousG> i need to get out more.

#6228
<TotAffen> On a scale from 1 to 10, I'm so drunk.

#1758
<< Now chatting in #finalfight
>>Quit! imaginari " Leaving "
>>Quit! MightyQuinn " Ping timeout "
>>Quit! Thom " Ping timeout "
[Nyphur] ARGH! I'm killing people by being here!

#31063
<Excreta_Pusher_5000> anyone want to buy a bass guitar?
<Excreta_Pusher_5000> from my experiences, girls will want to lay you if you know how to play bass guitar
<DP> you're an idiot

#38614
<Punani> Of course IRC seems to be a veritable pond for some of the dumbest quotes on earth.

#1244
<atila> my pc just shocked me
<atila> I touched my cd-r and it went "bzzzzzzzzzzzzzt"
<ivilgrue> must be an anti-piracy system

#305600
<liarmoose> I'm just mad 'cause I know it's irrational to get revenge by throwing up on the cat.
Comment: #lfs:1 otherworlders.org

#7877
<craving> I had a great dream last night. I was a servant of Satan, and in return for my services he had given me this enormouse house on the side of a mountain. It had a big balcony and a great bookshelf. I was a little nervous, though, because He had eaten my predecessor alive.

#23884
<Amuck50> well....you know the aliens ALWAYS land in america.....because we're the only ones with crop fields......we bombed everyone elses

#52606
< specsmu> ohhhh that reminds me
< specsmu> after I went to petsmart I went to panda express
< specsmu> I ordered my food, went through the line
< specsmu> keep in mind I'm 6', full beard
< specsmu> the lady looks at me, and says "can I help you, maam?"
< specsmu> so I said in a really loud voice, "wow, they call me maam on the phone all the time, but never in person"
< specsmu> she apologized... so after I called her "sir" once, I dropped it.

#246970
<zach[w]> You know, I really think the phrase "Wookiees can load their bowcasters with both standard and explosive-tipped quarrels.[citation needed]" is a perfect description of Wikipedia.

#13937
{TSL}-{Capo>School crams the giant cock of knowledge down your throat.

#8149
<Vertinox> >< jesus you eleetists
<Vertinox> i curse joe and anarch to die of prostate cancer at the age of 64
<Vertinox> you just remember that
<Soulflame> hehe
<Soulflame> DIE
<Exile> why not make it next year? curse them to die at age 14
*** Exile was kicked by Joe_ (I'm 17, jAckass.)

#56866
Turkey367: Your chances of dieing in Canada are almost zero.  Free drugs and low voilence.  In the US, there are random shootings everyday
mentalpeter1212: that was the stupidest thing ive ever heard
mentalpeter1212: "the chances of dieing in Canada are almost zero"
mentalpeter1212: there is a 100% if you live there...
Turkey367: Do you know anyone that has died in Canada?
mentalpeter1212: ...
Turkey367: EXACTLY!
mentalpeter1212: i hate you

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