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#4397
<Sassy> if the GC ends up sucking, i will start calling it the LameCube and reap the benefits of my witticisms
#4713
<DCBastard> hey i could get ven to install that saturn modchip that i got him to send me last year
<travolta> ven?
<travolta> who is ven?
<CraiZE> he means VeNoM
<DCBastard> see when you like someone you abreviate their name - that's why I always call you travolta
#15738
<DWildstar> ARRRCH
<DWildstar> i told a guy at work where to find a password for a server so he
finds it then fucking privmsg's it to me on irc "is this it?"
#116343
<IdleFire> back later perhaps, playing aoe with the girlfriend
* Quits: IdleFire (IdleFire@idlefire.net) (Quit: IdleFire)
<MadManMarkAu> Wait, he has a girlfriend, and he prefers to play AoE?
<MasterCJ> thats nothing
<MasterCJ> once he was in bed with her
<MasterCJ> naked
<MasterCJ> and was on irc
<MasterCJ> and she was playing aoe
<MadManMarkAu> :s
#27844
<INFINITE> heh, i just figured out Neo backwards is One
<z3ro> er.. Oen
<INFINITE> oh wait .. Shit
#5888
<DooD> my stalking skills have left me with her phone number to 100% accuracy.
<DooD> along with her home address.
<DooD> you should always pay the extra $2.00 to keep your phone number unlisted.
<Wronski> maybe she is playing "easy to stalk"
#139936
< madAsHell> I hate irc more when i don't even understand how i'm being insulted
#20524
<@Exor[B-AFK]> yeah apparently a teacher in britain was arrested. on him they found a pencil, eraser, ruler, protractor and compass. They said he was part of the Al Gebra network, and that he had weapons of math instruction!
<@Exor[B-AFK]> HA HA.
* Exor[B-AFK] shoots self
#25655
<aphelion> dude this fuckin thing scared the shit out of me
<aphelion> flying around in my room
<aphelion> and then i was typing and i look down at the keyboard
<aphelion> and its crawling in front of me
<aphelion> fuckin had to lay the tai chi moves down on it
<aphelion> i hit it mid-air with a red herring magazine
<Flatline-> hahhhahah
<Flatline-> tai chi?
<Flatline-> you stretched at it?
<aphelion> ..
<Flatline-> my mom takes tai chi
<aphelion> im sure tai chi can be offensive too
<Flatline-> hahhahhahahha
<aphelion> :(
#18593
<hello_c> jon: you god damned pervert!
<count^> jon isnt a pervert.
<hello_c> how do you know?
<count^> because im one, and he's never at the meetings.
#36331
<jonathans> i also got stopped for practicing a movie scene in a parking lot where the passenger in my car robs a liquor store
<jonathans> we pull up to the store at 30 and he runs out and slides across the hood
<jonathans> cop didnt like that much
<jonathans> he thought we were actually robbing the store
<jonathans> after talking for ten minutes he had a part in the movie
#49453
<Kei> oh, anyone know how the hell to amke a sonic costume?
<Kei> my brother wants to be sonic for halloween, and hes been bugging me about it all fucking day
<Kei> i dont get it either
<Zem> paint yourself blue, roll around like an idiot and stay less popular than Mario.
#3099
<spazzer> i think i'm wearing my mom's pants right now
<spazzer> what the FUCK
#25124
<maddox> You know what I hate? Programs that pretend like they're sentient beings. Ftp daemons are the worst.. you type "bye" and it responds: "221 bye bye".. or your login fails and you execute a command, it says "log in first, then I might let you do that." Yeah? Well echo "fuck you" > /usr/bin/ftp
<professor> hahaha.
<maddox> "bzip2: I won't write compressed data to a terminal."
<maddox> no, "you" won't write anything because you can't. You're a piece of shit binary written by a lonely programmer who has seen 2001 too many fucking times.
#7357
<zeitgeist> or you could stick in some crap sendmail and root that
<zeitgeist> so many ways to get a shell dude :)
<lsd> hehe
<zeitgeist> and they arent illegal if its your box :P
<Fryboy> hehe
<Fryboy> "..and its not cheating cos its YOUR DOG"
<lsd> lol
<zeitgeist> and its not homosexual incest cause its YOUR stepbrother
<Fryboy> O_O
<Fryboy> and its not trespass to property, cos it was running SCO
<zeitgeist> lol
#55184
<Jame5> A cop was waving me into a random breath test thing at the side of the road, and as I got closer he saw I was driving a volvo and just waved me on.
#145699
Jacob: heh
Jacob: my roommate just walked by with a bottle of water
Jacob: I asked her why she wastes her money on that shit
Jacob: she replied with "It's healthier than tap water."
Jacob: I took the bottle from her and showed her where it said "Source: City of Houston Municipal Water Supply"
Jacob: Tap-water.
#46370
<megaBBq> one time my friends and i were camping in the mountains, one night i went to bed and i woke up at about noon the next day
<megaBBq> i sit up and open my eyes, and i'm staring point blank at this mountain goat
<megaBBq> having been shit drunk the night before, it was a very odd few moments trying to figure out how the goat got in my tent
#14346
Lyme> UNDERPANTS!
* Lyme raises her fist to the sky triumphantly.
#14260
<GunnX> I was locked in my bathroom once getting ready for a date
<GunnX> :)
<GunnX> door knob fell off
<GunnX> those were the days
<polyglot> wtf were you doing to the doorknob?
#16913
<Stemish> my 450Mhz celeron built world in 1:40:18.95
<Stemish> my dual 500MHz celeron built world in 1:44:47.17
<Stemish> what is wrong with this picture?
<todd> There's no naked chicks in it?
<Stemish> well, that too
#30770
(@Clitos) hungry for weiners?
(@tyree) fuck i could take a hot dog or two
(@Clitos) in the ass?
(@tyree) no
(@tyree) i like to swallow
#9331
<@reflexive> does your book tell me how to get rid of a sore throat?
<mattlesko> let me look
<mattlesko> pg. 130
<mattlesko> "stop sucking cock"
#925
<lele> hypr is something of a "tragic" funny
#1728
<Jeffwey> i will buy a camoflouged condom so u wont see me coming