Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#30614
<ryano> but i still like tattoos and piercings on chicks
<ryano> which is why i go for lina's friends
<ryano> and not lina
<Lina--> i have tattoos
<jons> those aren't tattooes, they're varicose veins
#45485
<synth> ONE DAY ILL HAVE SEX RAAB
<Raab> if you take x, its really hard not to
<Raab> or just slip her a roofie
<synth> i slipped off a roof once
Comment: #dt on irc.zirc.org - Come visit ^_^
#54062
<frew> I hate it when people don't spell or adhere to proper rules of grammar on the Internet...
<frew> Why can't one take an extra two seconds to proofread?
<frew> It's not like your reading an essay...
*** frew has been kicked by fr_gment (Your = Possessive pronoun; You're = Contraction of "You Are.")
#9100
* Ryo curses his swiss-cheese memory
* Grue curses his fondue memory. It's all melty and stuff. o_o;
#304836
<BlueVortex> Why doesn't bread respawn when you eat it?
<Advocate> Mine does. You're probably doing it wrong.
#787
(Guilty) Fionna's body is similar to that of a 13 year old boy in Etheopia
#34147
<MrMiyagi> the older you get, the better you get
<tharaka> not if youre a banana
#17010
<@harb> Also, the waitress at Applebee's thought we were gay.
< espo> LOL
< espo> why is that?
<@harb> Because Andy's a fag.
< espo> did she say "Are you two gay?"
<@harb> No.
<@harb> She asked if we wanted to split dessert.
#301509
<t0mato> anyone here knows how fast will my computer run after a registry cleaning?
<x5ga> We have a formula to calculate the percentage of speed gained
<x5ga> (E*c/100)*a
<x5ga> E is the number of errors cleaned
<x5ga> c is the number of cores your CPU has
<x5ga> a is 0
#8667
<cryterion> that the girl had a nickname.
<cryterion> "mouse"
<cryterion> have you ever stepped on a mouse's tail?
<cryterion> and heard it squeak?
<cryterion> this girl did that at the point of orgasm.
<cryterion> "EEEEEEEEEEEE!
#5784
<onTheReal> evb = fagget?
<evb> onthereal: No, I'm just fabulous.
#44843
<scott> I didn't do it. I wasn't there. I never saw her!
<scott> And she didn't tell me how old she was!
#26404
<bin_Laden> Some English teacher got beaten to death a couple months ago.
<Morris> hahaha
<Morris> must've given an AP student a B
#7466
<gage> i found a 4x scsi cdrom on the street just now
<gage> i love how often i find hardware on the street
<gage> this was from a mac that looked like it had been beaten with a
sledgehammer
#53028
<fr_gment> better !pout !cry
<fr_gment> better watchout
<fr_gment> lpr why
<fr_gment> santa claus <north pole >town
<fr_gment> cat /etc/passwd >list
<fr_gment> ncheck list
<fr_gment> ncheck list
<fr_gment> cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
<fr_gment> cat list | grep nice >giftlist
<fr_gment> santa claus <north pole > town
<fr_gment> who | grep sleeping
<fr_gment> who | grep awake
<fr_gment> who | egrep 'bad|good'
<fr_gment> for (goodness sake) {
<fr_gment> be good
<fr_gment> }
#15450
<merl> in the UK things are generally pretty wet
<merl> we've adapted
<merl> webbed feet n shit
#297561
<ProtoTom> WTF's a woofer?
<Jizzle> It's a special speaker reserved for making "woof" sounds in some songs
<Jizzle> WHO LET THE DOGS OUT for instance
<ProtoTom> seriously?
<MACROX> yeah...the runtime complexity of producing that sound was way to high
<MACROX> so they implemented it in harware
#16264
<UGPYitEarp> I think part of McDonalds employee training is a seminar called "dealing with the failure you call life"
#235252
<@`Ace> grrrr, flippin linux aint suposed to crash :(
<@LexMortis> Myth.... BUSTED!
#39215
<sef> if i ever have kids i'm sending them to africa
<sef> because you can feed, clothe and send them to school for a dollar a day
#16267
<MadHack-> i've developed a bad habit of making a hand motion when i fart
<MadHack-> like i'm pulling a big lever or something
<mrwhite> hahahahhaha
<MadHack-> and i squeeze my face like it takes effort, too
<mrwhite> you'll win the jackpot one day and shit your pants
<MadHack-> and if i'm standing, lift my leg
<MadHack-> farting's really turned into a full-body experience here
#1605
<tgpretend> MICROSOFT BRAIN DRAIN CONTINUES. Fourteen-year
<tgpretend> vet. Paul Maritz resigns.
<tgpretend> how can he be an m$ veterna if he's only 14?
#16737
<Joelz> How good is it, when you've badly gotta take a leak....but you can't be stuffed getting up, but there is an empty coke bottle next to you and....nevermind.
<Bigchris> what happens if you have to chuck a shit?
<Joelz> That's what shoes are for.
#3684
<dodgey> my g/f somtimes talks to me in html code
<dodgey> quite cute... eheh
<dodgey> like i go to bed the other night, she sais
<dodgey> actually, what did she say
#58122
<suprpupy> haha, mom's at the store. I just get through telling her we have nothing in the house and she starts down the list "do you have this? do you have this?".
<suprpupy> mom. we have nothing in the house.
<CPng|N> "we don't eat"
<suprpupy> heh, we don't cook is more accurate
<suprpupy> or at least, not what mom likes to cook.
<ReNtZ> I read that as "or at least not what mom likes cock"
<suprpupy> ReNtZ: normally I'd laugh. but since this is my mom I'm horrified at the mental image.
<Eigenstat> Do you ever wonder if your husband has thought about fucking your mom, so he'll know what you're like in 30 years?
* suprpupy tries to claw her mental eyes out
Comment: EFnet, #ampedout