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#51128
<alb2550> All the text on my screen is blurring into dirty limericks and communist propaganda which means i must be really tired.
#14471
<marlais> for i am no longer a stranger in the ways of the woman :P
<SoulSteal> marlais: you finally killed one, eh?
#183
<BlackDeth> i was playin CS
<BlackDeth> and i accidentally ran over my whole team with a tank
<BlackDeth> i got booted off the server :/
#307314
<amarainein> sudo -u bitch make sammich 2>/dev/null
<amarainein> that's how it's done
<robin> amarainein: Why do you want to become the bitch to make a sammich?
<amarainein> i was ordering her- oh, never mind
<amarainein> it's never funny if you have to explain it
<robin> sudo -u bitch is more like possessing her to make a demonic sammich as the walls drip with blood.
<robin> Lights flicker, and bitch suddenly finds herself making a sammich against her very will!
<robin> Yet charged to her filesystem and CPU quota!
<amarainein> exactly. and in /dev/null, noone can hear your screams
#16298
<DaveMan> if a cop ever shoots, he/she means to kill
<DaveMan> standard practice is two at the torso, then try to put one in the head
<jitspoe> getting shot twice in the torso would suck
<Fryth> getting one would be a breeze, though
<jitspoe> Fryth: that only drops me to 60 health
#25462
<VgameT> hahahaha, aol just froze
<Mooseka> VGAME THAT'S LIKE SAYING DROWNING VICTIMS ARE WET
#453
<Cennt-> "how did your grandma die"
<Cennt-> "she saw me masturbating"
#7292
<bytraper> man get a set of mags for your car
<bytraper> dude.... steal a set if you have to
<bytraper> they really make the car
<bytraper> especially going a large 16" rim and low profile tyres
<Lord-Data> im too fat to do illegal stuff, i can't run away :)
#30462
<GoAt> "change your body shape overnight!"
<GoAt> these claims are getting worse every day
<peasant> i call dibs on triangle
#26210
* Spike states that his wifey is having contractions about 15 min apart. so I need some fathers day presents.
<Pseudonym> You should be at the hospital instead of on IRC ¬¬
<Spike> well, we are waiting to go to the hospital till we get contractions 5 min apart
<Pseudonym> Ah
<Pseudonym> Sounds painful
<Pseudonym> <spike> QUICK LET ME TELL IRC ABOUT IT%@%#$^@#$#
* schmiddy` thinks of Spike and adds a new entry to "You might be an IRC addict if.
#60934
<mikedep333> while I appreciate the attempt of ubuntu to be user friendly, automatically connecting to my neighbor's unencrypted wireless network is technically illegal for me
Comment: #ubuntu on freenode
#30409
<twohitcombo> i finally replaced my gay wireless keyboard that had a laptop style key layout with no keypad
<twohitcombo> and i bought one of those logitech ones with a hojillion buttons that dont work without the drivers
<twohitcombo> but evidently it has a 'fuck everything up' button that works fine with out them
#152657
<mfg2> rob's no fucking coder
<mfg2> i've seen his keyboard as there's not a speck of dirt on his [ ] keys
#8277
(Moose_): what's your language of choice ?
(rich): english?
#34666
<RHX> I swear, that fuckin Pink Ranger was fuckin hot as hell
<RHX> but she was dating the White Ranger
<RHX> what kind of bullshit is that?
<RHX> White Ranger
<RHX> if that was now, he would have been lynched
<RHX> then he was what, the Green Ranger?
<RHX> that's some wimpy shit as well
<RHX> everyone else got cool colours
<RHX> Red, Blue, Yellow, Pink and Black
<RHX> Green? That's the kind of colour you go when you're ill or something
<RHX> how the hell do you fight Lord Zedd when you're ill?
<RHX> "Hey help us fight these monst0rz"
<RHX> "Maybe later I gotta hurl man"
<RHX> "damn you some fuckin pussy, where RHX at, I'm gonna let him fuck me from now on, you aint gettin none of this Pink Ranger no more"
<RHX> "damn RHX, he always beats me"
<RHX> End of episode, every week, that would have ruled
<Blackball> wow i hadnt checked the window for a while...you have been busy
<Blackball> seek help
Comment: Talking about Power Rangers for some reason
#151082
<MotoToad> so, anyone wanna guess what a tornado sounds like?
<MotoToad> I was like 10 blocks from the one last night that hit the Georgia Dome.
<bmatt> mt, did you get to see it?
<MotoToad> no, didn't even know what it was when it was happening
<MotoToad> just sat there smoking a cigar thinking "damn, that train is hauling ass for being downtown"
<Dezmo> thats a mild storm in TX or OK
<Dezmo> but atl shits its collective pants
<MotoToad> dez, that's because there are things in Atlanta worth money :P
#39251
Searcher> Man, all my MacGyver'ing is going to come back and kill me. I just know it. Next to my bed, I have a chair stuck in the corner of the room. On either side of the corner, I have a two-by-four wedged. On top of the two-by-fours, I have a dowel rod duct-taped. Hanging from the dowel rods, just kind of hooked over the top, I have a fan, oscillating. Sitting on top the inverted fan's base, I have a speaker. One day, that speaker is going to fall on my head.
#6883
(Pills) "You've got a low IQ" (new signon to AOL sound)
#1943
<ETP> heh
* Tocool is very confused
<ETP> tocool: so am I, but the key is to just say 'heh' so people think you understand
<Tocool> yea but
<Tocool> ...
<Tocool> heh
#4583
<Spesh> It takes skill to climb the corporate ladder on your knees.
#46292
RecursiveBadger: I had one guy today whos dxdiag report I have saved onto my desktop to cheer me up in the future
Slacker: Do elaborate..
RecursiveBadger: We sent him the generic request for system specs, which is basically "send us your dxdiag report, or at least your Processor, Manufacturer, etc etc"
RecursiveBadger: So he'd taken our email
RecursiveBadger: Printed it
RecursiveBadger: Written beside each point what his system had
RecursiveBadger: Scanned his print-out in
RecursiveBadger: And attached the scans as jpegs
#311057
<Amy> some animals don't have tails, i guess a snake is an example of the opposite
<Amy> where the tail doesn't have an animal
#8691
<^_^Sasha^_^> im unzipping ma pant
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> wait a second
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> Does Allah know you are fucking an american?
<^_^Sasha^_^> yeah he knows everything
<^_^Sasha^_^> He
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> so is he cool with it?
<^_^Sasha^_^> no:|
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> oh, so do u want 2 stop? allah might get mad
No such nick/channel
Session Close: Sat Jun 08 02:05:24 2002
#18593
<hello_c> jon: you god damned pervert!
<count^> jon isnt a pervert.
<hello_c> how do you know?
<count^> because im one, and he's never at the meetings.
#11597
<bLaKeiMuS_TiReD> i had a dream 2 nights ago that my penis was stuck in the hole of a TDK silver cd and i was really nervous
<jAyVeNoMx> damn dood if my dick fit in a CD hole I'd be nervous too