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#295981
<+Biiaru> Admittedly, calculus is like sucking dick. I don't very much want to do it, but I have to get to college somehow.
Comment: #zelda
#40923
< lux> my toilet is dying
< lux> my poop is too much for it
<@wwmrtww> mouth to mouth!
Comment: #ramen
#2431
<Chocobo> blt: I'll hire you as a debt collector, your first job is to reach into your pocket and gimme money
#13399
(jeek) Jesus Christ.
(jeek) How the hell am I supposed to swallow two alka-seltzer pills.
(jeek) ?
(seawolf_) put them in water first
(jeek) But then they'll dissolve
(jeek) Oh, I get it
(jeek) n/m
#53719
<ducklord> my finest moment in the army was due to mc hammer
<ducklord> I was on patrol
<ducklord> and we met some other soldiers
<ducklord> and we were chatting, talking about army stuff
<ducklord> and I yelled out, "hammertime", did my dance, then said "moonwalk" and did a retarded moonwalk around a corner
<ducklord> those guys never talked to me again
<@rp> Hahah.
<ducklord> serves them well for trying to make meaningful conversation
#32692
* Idiot has quit IRC
<ChineseElite`> that'll be the day...
#295382
<Fualkner> You know, Carry on Wayward Son is one huge innuendo.
<Fualkner> "Carry on wayward son / there'll be peace when you are done"
<Fualkner> "Carry on, nothing equals the splendor"
<Fualkner> Kansas is apparently made up of chronic masturbators
<Pingly> Stop.
<Pingly> STOP.
<jabbers> You just fucking ruined that song for me.
#19874
<munch> quiet in here tonight
<munch> where's shinji, mills and the mansex?
<LordKhan> you just answered your own question
#22160
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> /quit
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> wow
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> /quit isnt working today
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> weird
* [AK]DarkTeletubbie has quit IRC ([AK]DarkTeletubbie)
* aCs|shutdown has quit IRC
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> i guess they dont know the secrets of the Ctrl button
#309853
* Spellcheck has quit (Connection reset by peer)
<Boletus> Fnilaly!
#14652
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> Ah man
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> can u believe rthat/
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> i was walking out of the bathroom
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> like really fast
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> and my belt loop got caught on the door
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> I swung around and smacked into the wall
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> Damn that hurt
#51174
Lucius: so im stuck hangin out with this emo kid
Lucius: he goes up to this hot girl and says "hey baby, what are you doing lateR?"
Lucius: she turns to him and goes "boy, i already have a pussy, i dont need another one" and walks away
Lucius: i couldnt stop laughing
Lucius: then he gets this sad look and tells me to shut up
Lucius: i calmly pull out my sharpie and draw a tear on his cheek
Lucius: he literally shrieks and runs away
#71165
<Yahovah> bsmntbombdood: I have a new nickname for you. Captain Oblivious.
<bsmntbombdood> I don't get it
<Yahovah> Exactly.
#302466
<@Rjx> find out if she wants to bang, then bang her
<@Rjx> that should've been moses's commandments
#3500
<bdi> if you lookin' for sympathy, you better look between R and T in the fucking dictionary
#55633
<@DarkElf> hell of a way to spend valentines day, watching a girl having an orgasm while learning to ride a horse (no, its not farm erotica) and doing statistics
<@DarkElf> can you tell i need a girlfriend
<@momo_the_terrible> that's a neat trick
<@momo_the_terrible> simultaneously watching a girl have an orgasm and studying stats
<@momo_the_terrible> wish I had that talent back in school :)
<@DarkElf> multitasking is great nowadays
Comment: irc.bunker7.net
#79646
(Volte) people in japan want to look like americans
(Volte) nerds in america want to look japanese
(Volte) they should just switch places and they would be all set
(Nudger) japanese people really really like foreigners
(Nudger) they just hate the idea of foreigners being anywhere near them
(Nudger) im going to set up a zoo
(Nudger) nerds can come and watch anime for free and japanese people can interact with them from a safe distanc
#49451
<kulprits> wats te best way to test if a video card is faulty
<SoundLove> look at the monitor.
#2895
<blazemore> RZR033DCC IS OFFERING VIRUSES INFECTED WITH WAREZ
#5370
<D1> some new LCDs came out recently.
<D1> which are suppost to be better than the old ones or something.
<McMoo> some new computers came out recently, too
<McMoo> amazingly enough, they're also supposed to be better than old ones.
#306057
Cynic: I watched the movie The Prestige today
Cynic: that was really good
FotG: trying to remember what that one is
Cynic: Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale
Cynic: are magicians
FotG: yeah actors names.... don't really mean much to me
Cynic: Wolverine and Batman
Cynic: are magicians
FotG: Don't think I've seen any movie like that...
#15037
<su-Septik`wrk> when the world trade center bombing occurred, the reporters said they could not retrieve the black box. my friend, who was stoned at the time, said "goddamn, ppl must be desperate for a playstation 2"
#59016
<FuriKuri> How do I turn off those stupid red lines in Microsoft Word?
<Chu> Type correctly?
Comment: #nintendo @ irc.chatspike.net
#1204
<Karmer> I am as eternal as the boundless limits of outer space, and my owner loathes and despises me
<mike> leprosy
<Karmer> no
<Karmer> it is
<Karmer> slidey's virginity
#17115
<felix> we're gonna start a band called "rsync", right?
<felix> OH BABY YOUR FILES ARE CHANGING BUT NO
MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CAN'T KEEP UP, SO I'M REARRANGING AND
TRYING CVSUP, BUT IT'S JUST NO GOOD. SO I SIT DOWN AND THINK....
THEN YOU COME THROUGH FOR ME AND GIVE ME RSYNC