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#11906
<ima`> www.google.com
<boy_scout> Open up fucking IE you lazy bastard
<ima`> i don't know how to open IE any other way
#33584
(fleet21): Matteo, you appeal to everyone
(Matteo): I do?
(Tack): Especially the blind.
#296915
<_Pooky> Watch out for the 700cal sandwichs tho.
<lion42> _Pooky, I'm on a 4000 calorie diet. I can have all the sandwiches I damn well want. :P
<Uncertain> that's no diet, that's a monster
<_Pooky> No shit...why are you on a 4k diet?
<_Pooky> Weight training or something?
<lion42> Pancreatic insufficiency. Because I don't dump out enough enzymes, I don't absorb calories or.. anything at all, really, as well as other people do.
<lion42> 4000 is my normal, average, maintaining my weight diet.
<_Pooky> Ok, that makes sense then.
<_Pooky> That's got to make for messy bowel movements.
<lion42> Yes, my shits are festive.
#29437
<Lepper> i rode my bike for 2 hours today.. w00t
<Lepper> my legs are getting so much stronger
<splice> thatll help when you have to run away from girls
#9027
<Syncope> kris's birth certificate was an apology letter from the abortion clinic
#24802
<zenlunatic> is slashdot fully lynx/links/w3m compatible as far as posting, etc... goes? Also, does anyone known of software that will let me post from emacs?
<jwbozzy> oh good god.
#310390
<TheBadSpoon> to explain reddit, it's basically a large anus comprised of many sub-anuses
#280960
Yan: This one time i was at a girlfriend's house
Yan: Spent the night there and everything went well
Yan: It was like 11:30 and we were in her basement and i was tired as hell so i told myself ill nap for like 30 minutes and then leave
Yan: I woke up and it was like 7:30 am. So i wake the girl up, she freaks out and asks why the fuck am i still home. She then tells me to leave and get out quick by the window.
Yan: Great idea except i had this oldschool Datsun 510 track ready that was so fucking loud i couldnt leave with it.
Yan: She wakes her parents up and tells them i slept over and nothing happened bla bla. Her dad comes out of the bedroom.
Yan: This guy is BIG ex military deep voice just plain scary. Looks at me and says "hey come to breakfast with us" i of course just wanna bounce. He insists and says "whats wrong? Had too much desert last night?"
Yan: I don't even know how i left after that.
#8704
<prower> check out what i put on e-bay
<tom_> oh god
<tom_> are you trying to sell your sister again
<tom_> i keep telling you its illegal
#113480
<emma> I have a job where I interact with humans a lot. It's one of the things about IRC I like. It's a great escape from the fake daily rituals.
<emma> It's like curling up with a cozy book that talks back to you.
<HiLander> a book with terrible spelling and grammar
#8245
cabbagehead227: so I came out of the closet today
cabbagehead227: I was looking for my bowling ball, but all I found was a bunch of queers
#295055
< aLExVP> my pal just had the most freaky experience of the week
< aLExVP> we're running a small VPN network around here, normally it is a relatively quiet project
< aLExVP> about an hour or so ago he got a call from someone else on the vpn
< aLExVP> he was asking around because he and other people were being port-scanned over the net, and he was wondering if anyone else knew something about it
< aLExVP> because we normally don't port scan each other over the vpn
< aLExVP> now he was just having a little private lan party with some friends
< aLExVP> (yes he invited me too but i have a test next week and a shitload of work ahead)
< aLExVP> anyway
< aLExVP> looking around a bit they traced it to his vpn connection
< aLExVP> and after looking around a bit more they found out the scans were coming from one of the windows systems at the party
< aLExVP> the system was a mess. no anti-virus on a budget gamer pc
< aLExVP> he has a router providing VPN access to his home net
< aLExVP> they traced the source of the attack on the windows box to an IRC bot net, and from there back again to his own connection
< aLExVP> further on to his wireless router
< aLExVP> and, interrestingly, to the car in front of his house
#16913
<Stemish> my 450Mhz celeron built world in 1:40:18.95
<Stemish> my dual 500MHz celeron built world in 1:44:47.17
<Stemish> what is wrong with this picture?
<todd> There's no naked chicks in it?
<Stemish> well, that too
#7198
<@Web> <Anastasia> fuck you
<@Web> russian men get upset easily
#301909
<Sebas> Heh, so I have this "Insult Dictionary" which has witty insults for every occasion, as well as a translation into 4 different languages
<Sebas> But it seems that, although the translation is generally correct, every now and then they went for an interpretation instead
<Sebas> So "Moron" comes out as "Naked savage" in the German translation, and "Greasy bastard" becomes "Filthy Italian"
#41188
<Shadda> So, Like
<Shadda> I'm watching this thing on PBS last night
<Shadda> about this guy who used to be on the bomb squad
<Shadda> Got his arms blown off from the elbow and down
<Shadda> both arms
<Shadda> and they're saying, 10 years later, a radical new procedure is possible
<Shadda> a double arm transplant
<Shadda> Then they get all serious
<Shadda> and the narator goes
<Shadda> "The only catch...the arms must come from a dead person."
<Shadda> like, wtf
<Shadda> Where else would they come from?
<rworks> I volunteer!
<Shadda> "Sorry, sir. It seems you've been taking your arms for granted. Excessive masturbation and constant ass picking. We feel that this man, who has served his country, deserves them more."
<Shadda> *Chink!*
#78929
<riko> dammit this has gotta stop.
<Baph> ?
<riko> my stepdad's been using my computer, going on porn, and saving it onto my desktop with the filenames set as numbers so i don't know what it is and i have to click on it to check.
<Baph> I thought your stepdad was gay?
<riko> precisely.
#42868
[Toblerone_] where did people come up with this high on life concept?? is that like having sex without a partner??
[Cheeky_Chick] yeah its called masterbation
[Toblerone_] cheeky: when u masta, do u first take yourself out to dinner
[Toblerone_] followed by a romantic solitary walk on the beach
[Toblerone_] and a nice coffee by yourself
[Toblerone_] and then do it??
Nikky`] rofl
Nikky`] No Toblerone_.. when you fuck yourself.. you can condone cheap ass behaviour..coz you know your broke but horny
#15562
<Tobal> looks like the UK is working to make pot a non-arestable offence
<ssrit> I'd move there.
<ssrit> Where is that?
#5531
<Anton> my unhairy mates have better luck than me with women
<Spooky> shitty
<Spooky> I figure keep your spirits up and standards low
#17483
<JustNoodle> be right back
<JustNoodle> it's time for my daily sacrifice of a virgin
<meatwad_> you're committing suicide?!
#309398
< BronzeEagle> I just found a floppy disk in my desk that says "women = evil"
< Frostypants> :D
< o11c> you still have a floppy drive, and were patient enough to put it in?
< BronzeEagle> Negative and negative
< o11c> then how did you know what it says?
< BronzeEagle> It's written on the label
* o11c forgets sometimes that there is a physical layer
#7021
<Ac3d> ima redneck now...Chevy sent a magazine to my house under the name Bob Jones
#33991
(lithrye) I'm experiencing an annoying problem.
(lithrye) hlds is killing my ISP's router.
(Silicon) and how exactly do they say it's doing that
(lithrye) it's causing it to drop packets.
(Silicon) what are they using Fischer Price, My first router?
#48901
<Darien> my beige mold has almost completely overtaken my green mold
<Darien> and the white mold
<Darien> and I can still see the red mold, but it's getting covered up pretty fast too
<WebDragon> ahh the Bachelor's Fridge ; home of the chia meatloaf