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#242212
<&tgies> I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
<&tgies> Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Comment: #animutation on wgiowrb.dyndns.org:6660
#309733
<rmah> (reading books is my primary ipad activity)
<rmah> well, that and crossword puzzles
<atomi> I take my tablet to the bar and use it to ignore people
#309659
<mgodzilla> windows has given me a recedin' hairline...unix has helped me grow a beard.
#225719
scaramouche: My inhibitions are the only thing keeping me from fucking everything that walks erect.
scaramouche: ... >_<
scaramouche: I don't know how to salvage that sentence.
WildTang3nt: That is so fucking epic, I can't even make a witty remark about it.
WildTang3nt: Instead I shall stare in reverence for several moments
scaramouche: Yes, kneel before me, mortal.
WildTang3nt: I'll kneel before you... :) so I can eat you out ;)
scaramouche: I knew that was coming.
scaramouche: GAH/
scaramouche: FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GAG ME.
WildTang3nt: with... what? ;)
scaramouche: AAAAAAAH WHY CAN'T I STOP
scaramouche: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP
#8612
<zealot_> gopher is the protocol of the future
#40669
<Mookeh> Pf, I'm taking head from a guy who duct taped himself to a ceiling trying to replace a light bulb
<jez> wtf
<Oranz> WTF
<Mookeh> OMG, worst typo ever! I meant HEAT!
#303847
<Artifice> the cat experiment was a counter example created by heisenberg himself, to prove some guys were being stupid
<Artifice> Sadly, the stupid guys were "That's awesome!"
<Artifice> Oh, it was Schrodinger. Whoops
<ZorbaTHut> heisenberg's cat is the one that's either running frantically around a room at unknown velocity, or sleeping, somewhere, but you don't know where.
<Artifice> So, just a regular fucking cat
<ZorbaTHut> Yeah pretty much.
#50339
CatDog: I'm gonna ask the girl in english class what wow sever she plays on
CatDog: other guys get phone numbers i get ip addresses
Comment: irc.bungie.org #hat-trick
#12216
<@RT[Ragnarok]> meet me in the middle of the 2nd level of the skeleton cave
<skold> I WANNA CAST MAGIC MISSILE
#39695
<shingoki> Simple answer? Debian requires a brain the size of a planet to install. It hates all living things
<shingoki> You see when they created debian, the developers saw that it was so perfect, and so good, that it was an affront to God himself. Unable to destroy their beautiful creation, they instead vowed that it would never be installed by mortal man
<shingoki> And so they bound it forever inside an installer of such evil that no human could look upon it, yet alone use it
Comment: #blenderchat on freenode
#125661
<@DJ> Oh man.
<@DJ> I got so excited.
<@DJ> I saw Pokemon the First Season on sale.
<@DJ> And almost bought it.
<@DJ> Then I remembered I was 18.
#297297
atari2600a: I need help
atari2600a: what tastes better, Oriental flavored Murchan Ramen, or Roast Beef Top Ramen?
dixon: I prefer oriental.
dixon: Roast beef just tastes kinda bland to me. Oriental has a nice soy-ish flavor.
atari2600a: thanks
atari2600a: I knew I could count on a group of programmers to help me with my ramen-based dilemma
atari2600a: <3
***atari2600a has left ##programming
#105387
< Nugget> internet6.irs.gov - - [04/Sep/2007:07:58:02 -0500] "GET /mroadster/ HTTP/1.1" 200 6537
< Nugget> this can't end well. :)
#10972
Lara: I wonder if something scary will happen if I rotate my Everglide 180 degrees
*** Joins: Twitch (none@12-218-101-151.client.mchsi.com)
Lara: |\O_o/|
* Lara rotates it back
#3580
<Slant> Easy way to figure out which episodes Slant likes:
<Slant> for x in StarTrek.Episodes[]
<Slant> if (x.liked_by_everyone)
<Slant> Slant.hates_episode[x] = TRUE;
<Slant> else
<Slant> Slant.likes_episode[x] = FALSE;
<Slant> no wait.
<mightyflo> hahahahahahahaha
<Slant> Slant.hates_episode[x] = FALSE;
<animegoth> lol
<FutabaAoi> so you hate all of tng!
<mightyflo> it's funny when you can debug someone's real life code
#4349
<Sharkey> I've been told I should be a phone sex operator.
<Sharkey> Which gender hasn't been specified.
<Xerox> I've been told I should be a phone sex caller.
<Sharkey> Keep reaching for that rainbow.
<Kashan> he's waiting for your call
#19756
<vicomte> he's being shunted by a freight train
<vicomte> its the latest thing
<random> ahh of course
* random is missing all the latest crazes
<vicomte> the other one is for women to parade around in front of me giving me lap dances
<vicomte> I think they should all get in on that
<vicomte> oh
<vicomte> except for my mum, my grandma and immediate family
<vicomte> and women over the age of 30, and or weigh more then say a light truck
#35954
06:18 <Lanfear> yesterday, I was stroaking a cat that laid on a friend's lap..
and, well. I was scratching the cat's tummy and stuff, when I
suddenly became aware of that it was a bit too close to the guy's
crotch
#59739
Camper Man: There must have been a power outage
Camper Man: No ones online
Benbread: No, you're just unpopular
#140839
<snow_> going to go watch this video about a guy who masturbates
<snow_> 12+ times a day
<snow_> some uk channel 5 documentary called "i can't stop masturbating"
<snow_> this gay looking dude just wacked it in the bathroom of a convenience store
<snow_> and they got it on camera
<snow_> of like his upper body
<snow_> and him jacking away
<snow_> why did i download this
#2436
<erhan> how are you yourself?
<mcarp> erhan: other than being pussyless, dumb, tired, broke and addicted to nicotine....im FINE
#11138
<t_SaBeR_t> Does your Army of Darkness have a dental plan?
#311620
<dysk> "Target is bleeping out book descriptions, removing words like 'Nazis' and 'queer'"
<YelseyKing> lol
<YelseyKing> I love overzealous auto-censors.
<dysk> That old joke about **** van **** just continues to stay relevant, doesn't it.
<YelseyKing> Yes.
<YelseyKing> Penis van Lesbian.
<dysk> Except in Target's case, "penis" and "lesbian" would be censored.
<dysk> I mean, one of the censored words was "stripper".
<dysk> Which isn't always about nude performance. Sometimes it's used for a tool (lol tool) that forestry workers use to remove the bark from wood.
<YelseyKing> t**l
<YelseyKing> I totally understand the reason why sites would do that, given that anyone who'd be so easily offended by certain words would be the same ones to throw a huge fit over seeing them.
<YelseyKing> But it doesn't make it any less stupid.
<YelseyKing> My favorite thing is when they censor a word with only a single asterisk. F*ck!
<YelseyKing> Like you can't tell what that says.
<dysk> "Holy sh*t!"
<dysk> And, of course, let's not forget ***an.
<Danika> Satan?
<dysk> (a certain country in East Asia)
<Danika> oh, Japan
<YelseyKing> The best censors are the ones that ignore spaces and punctuation, so you'll get words you didn't even type censored.
<YelseyKing> Like "cut it out" will be censored, because it ignores the space and sees "tit".
<dysk> Or "It's been 20 years since the release of Mariah Carey's hit", and the final four letters would be censored.
<YelseyKing> Yup.
<YelseyKing> Even better is if they're not censored, but replaced.
<YelseyKing> "It's been 20 years since the release of Mariah Carey'fecal matter"
#10994
<Hiryuu> When you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.
#34774
<J3anyus> Dollar Losing Value Against The Quarter
<J3anyus> NEW YORKâAfter falling 6 percent in the past three weeks, the U.S. dollar hit a 208-year low against the U.S. quarter, which had been valued at exactly 0.25 dollars since its introduction in 1796. "The dollar continues to slide against most major currencies," Morgan Stanley analyst Richard Jemison said. "At the end of the day Tuesday, the quarter was trading at .267 yen, .203 euros, and US$0.28. But what we're really seeing here is not just a dollar weakened by a sluggish economy, but an exceptionally resilient quarter-dollar." Jemison was quick to point out that the dollar remains very strong against the nickel.
<Tik-Tok> wtf
<Tik-Tok> I didn't even realize you guys placed seperate values on your quarters and dollars
<Tik-Tok> I thought it was just measured in dollars