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#8713
<arioch> Mario 69: Toadstool Gets Reamed
<fraggle> i'd love to give the princess a good bonin'
<aur__> sorry fraggle, but the princess is in another castle
#22107
<alpenwrk> deskmod goes down more than a fucking whore
<alpenwrk> deskmod is felating the internet
<The-Jim> but deskmod doesn't give you herpes.
#28310
<antiuser> man
<antiuser> flash is like sméagol
<antiuser> the first time you get a bit worried
<antiuser> the second time it's all nice
<antiuser> then the third time it wants to KILL MASTER
#33705
<rgreene> she's depressed for one reason or another and refuses to do anything about it, which trickles down into every facet of her life
<aliensex> rgreene: get the brick man and put her down like a cow.
<rgreene> alien: i happen to care about her...
<aliensex> rgreene: exactly.
#36918
<GLC> I saw this banner... with a chick saying "do you want to meet me?"
<GLC> and there was a "yes" button and a "no" button
<GLC> I clicked "no"
<GLC> and it took me to an IQ test website
<GLC> wtf
#30122
<@JFeeple> Loth: it gets worse, one of the preferred "methods" of hair removal involves hot wax
* @Lothtiriel winces
<@SuperXdude> yowsie
<@SuperXdude> we use super sticky tape....great for friends who pass out drunk
<@Lothtiriel> that's painful enough... but boiling wax? that's insane
<@JFeeple> remind me never to pass out within 500 miles of X
#76837
<GnrlMc> The closest you ever got to asking her out was using the characters of her name as iterators in your programming projects...
#35101
IQphat: you should see kill bill 2, it's great
eaglfan2021052: i was waitin for 2 to come out
eaglfan2021052: on DVD
eaglfan2021052: so i can watch em together
eaglfan2021052: and get it cheaper
eaglfan2021052: cuz im a jew
IQphat: I just downloaded it
IQphat: because I'm a jew with DSL
eaglfan2021052: word.
#111790
<maherarar> I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ONCE IN 1989 AND I NEVER LOOKED BACK.
#9214
<lukeiyo-e> my housemate alex used to deliver drugs on his bike
<lukeiyo-e> .. from a chemist he says
<kodos> speed on a bike
<lukeiyo-e> peddling crack
#18420
<Work|Calrathan> "there are 237,482 people in line infront of you. Do you wish to wait 525 hours to start your download?"
#82992
<Golbez> eastern time is the time in the two most important cities in the world
<Golbez> midtown manhattan and downtown manhattan
#295851
<glxblt> when my dad was a fire fighter they had this special technique for putting out fires called the "APP-technique"
<glxblt> Antaa Paskan Palaa. Roughly translated as "Let the piece of shit burn"
<glxblt> it was easier to use the "APP" -term around the owners of the property when the fire was so bad that they didn't really try to put it out, just to contain it
<glxblt> if they'd openly talk about just letting it burn it sorta might've upset the owners :D
<glxblt> also known as "removing the burning material."
<glxblt> (by burning it)
#147438
<TakeV> I don't know! Who ever heard of mixing SATA and IDE!?
<TakeV> The good thing is that trial and error can't really hurt you with IDE. :P
<Monk-e> are you crazy?
<TakeV> I'm told by some...
<Monk-e> IDE adjusts to the lowest speed in 1 cable. you just dont combine a HD and a CD drive. thats madness
<TakeV> Madness?
<TakeV> This. Is. SAAATTTAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
#8187
<CrashCat> downloading lineage: 10 hours. patching lineage: 3 hours. uninstalling lineage: priceless.
#33992
<Calmino> my father purchased a mule
<leah^-^> heh
<Jagfire> this is me caring: asdfgh123
<Jagfire> this is me not caring: zxcvbn321
<Jagfire> and this is me right now: zxcvbn321
#4218
(CamelToe) did I ever tell you I have a CAT-5 outlet in my downstairs bathroom, so I can chat while I poo
(Q`) A friend of mine has a "pleestation"
(Q`) "plee" meaning bathroom
(Q`) It's a pc with fast internet connection, games etc... right in front of the toilet
(Q`) :-P
(CamelToe) so I guess if you're playing a game such as Undying, you can really scare the shit out of yourself
(Q`) Hahaha
#299587
Mama: hi this is dad on the computer
Joe: hi
Mama: how r u
Joe: good good
Mama: ilove u and miss u
Joe: moving out tomorrow
Mama: moving to new dorm?
Joe: yes
Mama: do u need money or anything, this is mom telling me to say
Joe: no no i dont think so
Mama: thank u very much now i love u more
#11255
<ducks> I was looking through someone's eBay auctions
<ducks> and this is what I see listed
<ducks> * GIRL SCOUT COOKIES THIN MINTS ORDER NOW!! *
<ducks> HAND PAINTED FLOWER POT VASE PICTURE FRAME
<ducks> SET OF 6 AMBER SUNFLOWER SALAD / FRUIT BOWLS
<ducks> THE CUTEST LITTLE ANGEL RAG DOLL
<ducks> STRIPPER VHS MOVIE
#51235
<Kookykman> Are you within driving distance of Boston?
<Phlip> Sadly, no.
<Phlip> Sometimes I wish Australia was driving distance from the US...
<Phlip> unfortunately that isn't to be :(
<Phlip> lousy government
#3677
<w3nis> I remember discussing bong tactics with a friend and drawing out plans and then we realized we had drew a pelican
#33485
<Hamhocks> god damn i've been getting boners all day
<Elle> boners are gods way of telling you to 'practice' more
#17717
<MrFalcon> fuck... we have all this leftover shrimp, but no shrimp sauce
<tokage> maybe you should kill yourself
#5511
*** Moses is now known as Cain
<Cain> oh no I killed my bro
<KeeperS> ...
<KeeperS> what a stirring rendition of the bible
* KeeperS is moved to tears
#289
<rouge> you vegetarian?
<AlmtyBob> yah
<rouge> i'm sorry. :/