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#11083
<SporkPrez> largo, whats it like being net-famous?
<asr> whats net-famous?
<largo[mt]> net-famous is when you get the all drawbacks of having computer geek fans who know about you, without any of the benefits.
<asr> like groupies?
<largo[mt]> no, you get those, but the rank smell takes awhile to get used to.
<SporkPrez> like when you mix bleach and ammonia?
<largo[mt]> I wish it were that pleasant.
#51174
Lucius: so im stuck hangin out with this emo kid
Lucius: he goes up to this hot girl and says "hey baby, what are you doing lateR?"
Lucius: she turns to him and goes "boy, i already have a pussy, i dont need another one" and walks away
Lucius: i couldnt stop laughing
Lucius: then he gets this sad look and tells me to shut up
Lucius: i calmly pull out my sharpie and draw a tear on his cheek
Lucius: he literally shrieks and runs away
#4043
<TALLC00L1> Why do dogs lick their dicks? cuz they can't make a fist
#9413
(@Bean): rofl
(@Bean): I asked my g/f too marry me, she took me seriously
#22081
<Juggs> ahaha the funniest shit is when i took 3 e's at once at a lan
<Juggs> and as far as i was concerned i could slow down time
#36278
<Bubbaprog> what do you call a resident of tampa
<nephaft> hmm....
<Bubbaprog> it's not Tampan
<BeadGrl> tampian?
<Bubbaprog> actually
<Bubbaprog> it's tampanian
<BeadGrl> hmm ok
<aeonite> People from Tampa are hot, moist and full of blood
<aeonite> So Tampon sounds correct
#8260
<JBB> I'm looking for a laptop that I can just use on the net. Something below $300.
<BondOO7> You'd have better luck shoving your cock into a telephone jack for the internet.
#29704
« DR_Satan0 » but jesus i couldnt look at my mom while she is riding me no matter how shitfaced i was..
Comment: From #dcemu on cheatlist
#51969
<Retro> shit
* Retro just woke up
<Grath> Retro
<Grath> Why is it bad?
<Retro> I don't know
<Retro> but I'm not used to waking up, going to the bathroom to take a piss, and looking in the mirror to see my keyboard imprinted in my face
#37991
<VooDoo-chan> im sitting at home watching TV with my girlfriend, Amanda, last night... her daughter is sitting on the floor in front of us eating Jell-O... she asks me "Sean, what is Jell-O?" i look over at Amanda and she looks at me waiting for me to answer her daughter... i turn back to Tesley and tell her "Well, honey, Jell-O is made from Crushed Unicorns"...
<VooDoo-chan> whole lot of crying happened after that
#309047
<Erasmus> Just cracked my genuine copy of Windows that kept complaining at me that it was non-Genuine. So now it's non-Genuine but at least it thinks it is again.
#38173
* Ozmo thinks half the sound effects in DBZ are done by shoving large stones up the rear ends of the voice actors and then telling them to try to get them out without using their hands...
Comment: #anime-shack
#31921
<Wallrod> i hate having my room right next to the bathroom
<Wallrod> i have to hear my dad take a shit
<Wallrod> EVEN DEATH METAL DOESNT COVER ALL THE FREQUENCIES MY DAD'S ASS BROADCASTS ON
#1033
<Guilty> Surely you see how trite the name "assassin" is [in Quake III]
<Guilty> Might as well be "Player"
#1056
<_Gandalf_> if i were mexican i'd have something witty and funny to say...
#32949
* WakkoWrk is trying to figure out what the hell to do tonight
[Monkster] mom son sex?
[WakkoWrk] ahem
[WakkoWrk] fuck off.
[WakkoWrk] mom works tonight anyway
Comment: #chanfix on EFnet
#14741
<[KoF]Pyramus> you wound me, sir
<EdgeCrusher> sorry
<EdgeCrusher> ill hit harder
#5443
<Goku> :O
<kepler> hold that face goku
*kepler unzips
*aegis runs away
#307812
<ninja_warrior666> can anyone tell me how to create sodium metal?
<ninja_warrior666> or nitrocellulose?
<Schroedingers_hat> Well, it all starts with an infinitely hot singularity...
<ninja_warrior666> ...
<Schroedingers_hat> But you've gotta create some nothing first.
<Schroedingers_hat> Well, not first
<Schroedingers_hat> because you haven't created time yet.
<Schroedingers_hat> Well not yet
<Schroedingers_hat> but you get what I mean
#6405
<wasabi> I wish catheters were comfortable and socially acceptible
<wasabi> and that I had a minifridge under my desk
#51650
<hylix> Syntacs, I know where you live.
<Syntacs> Big deal, I've known that for years.
<hylix> i've sent a team of magical sheep to mutton bomb your house
<Syntacs> And they were delicious.
<hylix> you baa-stard.
#23971
<sloop> i downloaded matrix reloaded off kazaa
<sloop> i got 1gb of dutch porn
<sloop> bonus
#845
<ckx> kira looks like someone put a bag over her head and smashed her in the face with a monkey wrench
#7356
<zeitgeist> bobs car is now known as scomobile :)
<lsd> hehehe
<lsd> does that make bob 'scoman'?
<lsd> nananananananana
<lsd> SCOMAN!
<zeitgeist> lol
<lsd> quick scoman! into the scomobole!
<zeitgeist> holy floating point exception errors scoman!
#60134
star: if some girl sent you a text (assume that your a boy) and it said
star: "i feel like the cat who ate all the cream"
star: bearing in mind she just had a date
star: what would you think she meant?
Sophi x: i have no idea
star: well let me tell you what i sent back
star: "full of cream? i take it the date went well"
star: now she's calling me a perv :(