Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#3849
<DMC[tiky]> the word rocks is funny to me, cause when i was a little kid in fox chapel, my friends brother told him GO SUCK ON A ROCK, so he did, and everyone crowded around him and watched him suck on this rock for like 10 minutes.............
#11485
<jre> I know how to end racism. It involves a lot of fucking.
<egg> 1st ANNUAL ORGY TO END RACIAL DISCRIMINATION
<Idiotsavant> Usher in the vaunted age of syphilis
#6432
<PI^2> my first puter was c-64
<PI^2> I had many nasty games on c-64 :D
<PI^2> like 'fast masturbation' and such :)
<PI^2> that game was soo weird :D
<PI^2> though it had good graphics for a c-64 game :)
#7835
ð Zibblsnrt waaahs. Freezing rain warnings still
<rob`> that's gotta suck :P
<Prophet4> it looks kinda cool though, with a layer of ice all over everything
<Zibblsnrt> it sucks more after two days, when trees start collapsing
<rob`> hey, the daffodils are sprouting.
<Zibblsnrt> don't make me mail you a bomb in a container of Agent Orange
#25662
<GM-Bot> What country is directly north of the continental United States?
<Fekko> cnanda
<vperez> canad
<Niftoria> canadar
Comment: (While playing a stupid trivia game)
#308534
< CoJaBo> Update: The object seen landing near Gale Crater on MSD 49,269 at around 05:50:16 AMT local time has been conclusively identified by the Martian Space Agency to be a weather balloon. Due to possible radioactive contamination, Mars citizens are forbidden to approach Gale Crater until further notice.
#8317
<cov\\sick> Solitarie almost never crashes. They should employ the person who wrote it to head the WinNT team.
#59615
<Alegis> Do you happen to have a harem?
<procto> depends what you mean by "happen", "have", and "harem"
<procto> because if you're asking "do you masturbate" I'll have to decline to answer.
Comment: #qc
#35089
<Rykan> ah man, chocolate is evil...
<CrazyEruntje> 1 ounce of chocolate
<CrazyEruntje> equals one pound of body fat :P
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> so wait...
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> i can turn my body fat into chocolate?
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> omg!!!
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> I be rich yo!
Comment: #MxO on irc.stratics
#37391
<asdfasdf> You know, I was on this plane once. And I'm sittin' there and the captain comes on and is like, "We'll be cruising at 35,000 feet," and does his thing, then he puts the mike down but forgets to turn it off. Then he says, "Man, all I want right now is a blow-job and a cup of coffee." So the stewardess goes runnin' up towards the cock-pit to tell him the mic's still on, and this guy in the back of the plane goes, "Don't forget the coffee!"
#11264
<Saber> I had a full can of soda
<Saber> and I slipped
<Saber> and dropped it above my KB
<Saber> and I caught it
<Saber> but THOUGHT it was upside down
<Saber> so I inverted it
<Saber> and it turns out
<Saber> it was rightside up
#273721
chewypow: so when i worked at Starbucks in little rock, there was this super hot 18 year old, miss teen usa right
chewypow: she came in one day and was talking to me and told me when she was brushing her hair that morning, a lot of it came out.. she then continues to explain that she thought she had 'chemo'
chewypow: a week later she comes in and uses some mouthwash, and then swallows it. I point out to her that it says on the back if accidently swallowed to call poison control immediately
chewypow: she reads the label and looks at me and says "Oh.. it's ok. I didn't do it on accident"
muku: ...
chewypow: exactly. brain synapses stop firing when you hear this story right?
Comment: Sadly a true story
#22333
<Jubei-> sup nigs
<kaihn[afk]> :o
<Jubei-> i mean..
<Jubei-> Hello fine gentlemen, how are you this fine morning?
#53818
You Hate SWC: The man gets the woman WASTED.
You Hate SWC: And they have "teh hawt secks."
You Hate SWC: And then she wakes up, vomits, and nine monthes later, I was born.
You Hate SWC: Oh shit.
You Hate SWC: a baby is born*
PSOdude34: XD
You Hate SWC: *cough*
ToasterStrube: Yea, nice typo
You Hate SWC: >__>
#300288
<c|oneman> did you ever meet this person that was so cheerful
<c|oneman> you've said to yourself
<c|oneman> I think this person would maintain the same face even when being fisted anally
<Urz> I don't believe I've ever thought those same words, no
#45855
-dmwaters/Wallops- Ok all, three machines going down
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 4 people quit.
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 6 people quit.
<MrNightmare> uh oh
<Phlip> it's armageddon!
<Phlip> every man for himself!
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 4 people quit.
<spasmFace> War of the Worlds!
* Phlip picks up spasm and uses him as a meat shield
<Phlip> I count 3 splits...
<Phlip> hmm, maybe it's not as major as I made out...
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 37 people quit.
<Phlip> I retract my previous statement.
Comment: #blenderchat on FreeNode
#6461
<Flik> my friend gave up masturbation for lent, and lost in an hour
#18619
<@FiveNine> sailor moon is hot
<@FiveNine> they should just make that series a porno
<@kmad> yea for like 15 yearold
<@FiveNine> yeah
<@kmad> i wouldn't do her though
<@kmad> id get papercuts all over my dick
#308868
<crikes> connection issues: the musical
<crikes> the protagonist enters stage left then exists immediately
<crikes> this continues for two hours
<crikes> it proves to be a massive hit
#39695
<shingoki> Simple answer? Debian requires a brain the size of a planet to install. It hates all living things
<shingoki> You see when they created debian, the developers saw that it was so perfect, and so good, that it was an affront to God himself. Unable to destroy their beautiful creation, they instead vowed that it would never be installed by mortal man
<shingoki> And so they bound it forever inside an installer of such evil that no human could look upon it, yet alone use it
Comment: #blenderchat on freenode
#8440
<Excession> I'm getting seven figures. "FUCK ALL"
#25153
{ava}> A WORM
<{ava}> JUST
<{ava}> CRAWLED OUT OF MY DOGS ASS AND LANDED ON ME
<_enzo> o m f g
* {ava} dies.
#31313
* Joins: msft (swi@3155232f.22cbf9e3.client2.attbi.com)
* Gargoyle sets mode: +v msft
<+Mike> oh jeez. Microsoft is in here
<+Mike> y'all hide those corp copies of XP!
#8672
<Duck[STFUF]> you know ath, why did you change your name to avin...A, V, I and N are pretty much as farthest they can be from one another:<
<Jumper|TMC> BECAUSE IT'S HIS NAME
#56410
<PRoger> i recently purchased a broken dell laptop. the screen was broke. so i ordered a new one. i know how to fix that, but on my quest to hide the fact that i have a dell product (i despise dell), i decided to paint it, and maybe drill a hole for an acrylic window. nobody has them in laptops.
<PRoger> well, i took it all apart painted it...all that fun stuff. now its mostly back together and it works. but only off the battery, not wall power.
<PRoger> my desktop also decided to die as well. so i have 1.75hours of battery/computer time left.
<PRoger> aw man I just noticed my battery has dead cells. it just went from 56% to 0% dammit!!
*** Quit: PRoger (Ping Timeout: 54 Seconds)
<snorlax> ouch. I was actually going to stop idling and try to help him until I saw that his laptop battery was the only source of power.