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#3465
<f9|war3beta> These Mint Skittles taste like shit.
<Brentai> MINT SKITTLES?
<JDigital> f9: Tell me about it. Over here, we call the green ones "Excre-mint".
<JDigital> Alternatively known as "New car smell" flavour.
#52606
< specsmu> ohhhh that reminds me
< specsmu> after I went to petsmart I went to panda express
< specsmu> I ordered my food, went through the line
< specsmu> keep in mind I'm 6', full beard
< specsmu> the lady looks at me, and says "can I help you, maam?"
< specsmu> so I said in a really loud voice, "wow, they call me maam on the phone all the time, but never in person"
< specsmu> she apologized... so after I called her "sir" once, I dropped it.
#9108
<Lex> So, I support your decision to halt any imminent blowjobs with questions. :)
#307516
<+Polynomial> there's a weight loss clinic on my way to work called Beacon
<+Polynomial> someone spray painted over the 'e' so it reads "B acon" instead
<slc> haha awesome
<+Polynomial> not only that, but they did it on the slogan too...
<+Polynomial> "Lose weight fast with B acon!"
<slc> rofl
<slc> whoever did that needs an invitation to the league of internet superheroes
#297266
<Warchamp7> The other day at work, two of my bosses were trying to find each other in the office
<Warchamp7> And they were yelling "Ping!" back and forth
<Warchamp7> It was one of the greatest moments of my life
Comment: #MAGFest on irc.vgmusic.net
#28321
<Fat-Burrick> icq is a sentient being that wants to take over the world by pissing me off
#1591
<ufodude> im trying to find a good place to get linux. i tried www.astakavista.com and i just got lost there with all these files and shit
#77445
* Slettenbak has joined #thelaw
<Slettenbak> Can somebody help me?
<Jasper> Maybe ...
<Slettenbak> What's the legal age for having sex ?
<Jasper> 16
* Slettenbak has quit IRC (Looking for my 17 year old cat.)
#297713
<tyranny12> and i quote the television: 'Foster's. Get some Australian in you. <pause, woman's voice comes on> Am I pregnant?'
#54895
<HotStud> what i want is for you to stop screwing with my head and start screwing with my dick!
<ingenue> Okay, box it up and mail it USPS, and my girlfriend and I will give it a try.
<ingenue> Oh, wait, what size battery does it take? 'Cos I think my AA are all dead.
<HotStud> ...
<HotStud> goddam lezbo
<HotStud> you just haven't had the right man, then youd learn that there are some things a chick just can't do
<ingenue> You know, that could work for you, too...
#34515
<HM|Quendor> how do u write a script that like if i push f1 pushes f5 automatically for me?
<Mayseth> Why don't you just push F5 and not write the script?
#3625
<nakke> !dictionary fellatio
<FillyJonk> 2 entries found for fellatio.
<FillyJonk> fel-la-ti-o (f-l, -sh, f-) n. Oral stimulation of the penis. [New Latin, from Latin felltus, past participle of fellre, to suck. See dh(i)- in Indo-European Roots.]
<JibberJim> So billions is spent on making it possible for people to "chat" across the world, and access dictionary's and what do you do? - look up dirty words...
#7183
(Jeopardy) hi I need someone to help me with compiling a small program
(dgc) Jeopardy: What is gcc?
#30662
<Ali_> no canadian cars eh?
<Egg_> no
<Egg_> i don't think there's a canadian made car
<Egg_> lol
<Egg_> that would be cool if there was
<Egg_> we'd have shitty animal names though
<Egg_> like the Ford Canadian Goose
<Egg_> or the Chevy Beaver
<Egg_> man
<Egg_> i'd so drive a Chevy Beaver
#26270
(Judge_) This dumb and dumber 2 movie is actually a prequal.
(Judge_) Star Wars did it, so why can't every body else I guess
(Judge_) "Austin Powers: THe Gradeschool Years"
<deww> yeah it's a prequel. blah.
<deww> they did that in the last movie tho
<deww> hehe
(Judge_) "Indiana Jones and the full diaper"
(Judge_) that is teh sux
<deww> "Single Chinned IRCers"
<deww> now THAT's a prequel
#9372
<treph> I have my computer
<treph> and
<treph> no job.
<treph> > i
<treph> You are carrying:
<treph> a computer
<treph> no job
#4449
<the_hydra> I got a hemorroid once and used Preparation H's little "anal applicator" and didn't think it was really worth it. I think they just included that as a joke.
#301129
<Jake> I had an awesome moment in my college
<Jake> We had a video project due, and this group of wanna-be programmers were saying how theirs was so awesome
<Jake> While they weren't looking, I yelled "WE SUCK PENIS" and added it into the slide show after one of the people said "What do we do?"
<Dan> LOL
<Jake>They must have caught me
<Jake>When the day came, while waiting for the part
<Jake>One of the guy asks "Jake, what does your family do every Wednesday night?"
<Jake>In my voice, it yelled "WE SUCK PENIS"
<Jake>I should've been mad... but I was far too astounded to be mad..
#12978
<Mosh76> TO ANYONE WHO KNOWS, HOW DO YOU STOP PEOPLE FROM SENDING YOU UNWANTED CHAT MESSAGES PROMOTING THERE PORN SITES?
<Mosh76> Can someone tell me, or atleast tell me where to look?
<eller> turn off your computer.
#296310
! v3ritas np: [ T-Rock, Three 6 Mafia - Slang & Serve ]
(v3ritas) hey guys
(v3ritas) i want you to know what song i'm playing
(v3ritas) you probably won't notice, nor care about it, but there it is
(v3ritas) but if you particularly appreciate a strict adherence to a set spoken meter, this song is a fine example
#29360
<MP0werd> sweet, labor day!
<MP0werd> no school
* MP0werd immediately starts procrastinating
<Colin> I'll do that later
#299533
<Dr_Pressure> in Old English, a period (.) was used to denote the end of a sentence.
<Dr_Pressure> in modern English, "lol" is used to end a sentence lol
#51083
legames: you know what pisses me off the most?
dackattac: Goats that kick you when you finger their asshole?
dackattac: Er
dackattac: What?
legames: There wouldn't even be a market for the iMic if Apple just had headphone jacks like everyone else
legames: also the goat thing
#8534
<Ookey> it's the pop ups that I just want to rip out of the computer, and stomp on repeatedly
<Ookey> especially when, like the one I just had, the only way to get rid of the 10 or so that you have + ones that are opening every 2-3 secs is to close down all of ie, and loose any pages etc that you have
<JtHM> are you going to that 'YES, I AM LOOKING AT GAY PORN' page?
#16121
<zamros> when i was seven i saw a car get run over by another car
<zamros> my first accident witnessing
<zamros> and/or moster truck rally