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#297296
helf2: sup
iKitsune: got a handjob from a midget in boaz today
helf2: wait, what
iKitsune: I got a handjob
iKitsune: from a midget
iKitsune: in Boaz
iKitsune: today.
helf2: yeah, thats what i thought you said
iKitsune: Do I need to post pictures?
helf2: no, I'm good.
#1142
<BlackDeth> "Disabling this device will cause it to stop functioning. Is this what you want?"
<BlackDeth> hah
<BlackDeth> stupid
#2966
<FMJaguar> good, we don't have time for elitists here
* FMJaguar > all of you
#13607
<NintendoGuru> Yoda of Borg am I! Assimilated shall you be! Futile resistance is, hmm?
#307066
<Rose> Hot Topic is the ebaumsworld of clothing stores.
#34306
<Jerec> I went to the bookstore this morning and saw a book called 'AOL for Dummies'
<Jerec> That's like killing one bird with two stones!
#310980
<asterick> Does anyone ever feel like jQuery is kinda like bill cosby?
<asterick> Like, everyone used to REALLY love him, but then someone said "I was totally raped by jQuery" then all of a sudden everyones like "DUDE ME TOO"
#46325
<Darien> you know you're Canadian when feeling bad can be alleviated by meaningless sex OR hockey
<Darien> or both
<NrgSpoon> there's no such thing as meaningless hockey.
#19596
<Q> Verily I say unto thee: Whomsoever quoth "I am a hottie" on the internet, doth lie unto thee.
#5520
<Njits> phuk, I just realized I slept thru a dentists appointment :(
<automat0n> were you in the dentist's chair?
#27844
<INFINITE> heh, i just figured out Neo backwards is One
<z3ro> er.. Oen
<INFINITE> oh wait .. Shit
#10798
<Sparky> My new years resolution is 1280x1024.
#8353
<Seren> I've seen so many penises, but I swear, the minute some guy you don't know takes his pants off in a classroom environment and is all happy about it ... you almost shit yourself.
<melusine> Happy happy? O_o As in "Teacher, my still life is moving!" happy? O_o
#4844
<jjz_> One point I had a MS Agent reading IRC windows while I'd play halflife
#38682
<Nikkou> Wait, is shit in that context a noun or a verb?
#25239
<@Kamakazi> i've seen a cat land on it's head
<@Kamakazi> it was my fault
<@Kamakazi> i tried to make it do 2 backflips
<@Kamakazi> it was at my friends house
<@Kamakazi> i wanted to see if they ALWAYS landed on their feet
<@Kamakazi> so i dropped him and he did.
<@Kamakazi> and i was like hmm...
<@Kamakazi> i wonder how many backflips he could do then
#6139
Clayton: man, i am so tired..but my bed is full of dog puke.
#76119
<Eldritch> my friend
<Eldritch> calls tech support for his ISP
<Eldritch> 'cuase hes getting packet loss
<Eldritch> they tell him his hard drive is probably full
<Eldritch> and that he should delete some things
<Eldritch> so he says to the guy
<Eldritch> he has a 60 gig hard drive and only 30 is used
<Eldritch> the rep says
<Eldritch> "thats alot"
<Eldritch> and that half is about the point where things start to mess up
Comment: Adelphia internet
#4256
<OpsuPup> i was driving along one day, saw a bmw and thought, that's an ugly bmw, then i realised it was a merc, then i thought, hmm, nice looking merc
#21411
<Dr_Ian> WHY ARE ALL AUSTRALIANS OBSESSED WITH THE APOCALYPSE?!
<ShinAkuma> i dont know?
<Bu||et> Kola says its because Kangaroo's smoke shoes
<Dr_Ian> I think its because australia would look exactly the same if a nuke it hit it
#41236
<Sock_Monkee> i used to read choose your own adventures all the time. then i realized how fucking dumb they were
<mog> Sock_Monkee: That's because you're not supposed to read the pages in order, you fucking idiot
#5603
<Khamosis> Man
<Khamosis> this is so awesome
<Khamosis> I'm playing Nethack right after I installed my GF4
#122527
Mistah_Kurtz: you think lawyers have like a numerical batting average
Mistah_Kurtz: for cases won vs lost
Mistah_Kurtz: so that other lawyers know about them
Mistah_Kurtz: they could make lawyer trading cards
Mistah_Kurtz: and it'd be worth a shitload of money if you got like a johnnie cochran law school card
#307624
<Jargon> We don't HAVE BEer pong here in Belgium
<Jargon> The idea that you can somehow "Win" at drinking is purely an American thing
<Quantum_Meddler> So you don't have drinking games there?
<Jargon> no
<Jargon> well
<Jargon> actually yes
<Jargon> there is one
<Jargon> You may have heard of it
<Jargon> It's called "going out and getting laid"
#160100
jazza joined the chat room.
jazza: hi
jazza: can anyone help me
xexyz: no
xexyz: IRC is 100% Help-Free for 53 days now
xexyz: And we don't want to let the union down by starting now