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#102068
Geist: I installed a personal wiki yesterday.
Geist: And man...
Geist: Vandalism just isn't the same.
#2018
<MadHatter> I wish I could get a job as a stunt penis
<MadHatter> like for porno movies
<MadHatter> I don't look like a pornstar(not that I'm ugly, I just don't have that look), but I have a porno penis
#23077
<Kevyn> Woohoo, girls college softball on ESPN2.
<Kevyn> I think it's college. There's NCAA logos everywhere, but these girls look fourteen. Score!
<Pedro> Is that Jennie Finch girl pitching?
<Kevyn> I don't know. I have it on mute.
#6848
<Iggz> i had a touching experience on the subway today
<Iggz> i sat beside a priest
<spoon> kinky
<Iggz> ......
#185341
<@utonium> * QUESTION * SECRET of 793722, worth 100 points: acronym soup: dap?
<+PaulATL> d
<+trueeevil> no d?
<+trueeevil> lol?
<+SuzyCat> wha?
<+Zyloch> lol
<the_bandi> parents against dyslexia
<@utonium> Yes! the_bandi! got the answer QUESTION(240576) -> parents against dyslexia <- in 34 seconds and recieves --> 70 <-- points!
Comment: #trivia on EFNet
#311454
<Val> Oddish, holy fuck
<Val> I'm sitting, parked, on a dirt road in my cab. Call comes on the radio from dispatch, quote, "Who wants to do a pickup right now?"
<Val> I hit E to accept.
<Val> A Sadler - basically a Ford F-250 crew cab - rear-ends my taxi.
<Val> I guess I consented.
<Oddish> .....
#28747
<xcp> I left a windows xp cd on the seat of my car, someone broke in and left 2 more.
#48739
<VEKrueger> Heh I was at the mall today
<VEKrueger> One of the janitors (all dark gray uniform)
<VEKrueger> He had a black headband on with extra fabric in the back hanging down and a brown mullet haircut
<VEKrueger> He was mopping, he walked away, then walked back and slipped on the water and fell flat on his back
<MaXilla> hahaha
<MaXilla> NICE
<VEKrueger> Somebody across the room shouted "Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"
#9113
<Gekigangr> somewhere, out there on the net, is an HD full of lame quotes
#10774
<guyen> so she gets pulled over, and as the bike cop walks up to her, she asks "are you going to at least try to sell me a ticket to the highway patrolmen's ball?"
<guyen> then the cop goes "highway patrolmen don't have balls, ma'am"
<guyen> and she busts out laughing, he finally gets it and just turns around, gets on his bike, and rides away without another word
<guyen> she just sits in her car laughing for like five minutes before she starts her car again
<guyen> shit, if i'd try to say something like that he would have gone LAPD on my ass
#6954
<glasnost> i just talked to some girls on this hall.
<glasnost> they're like, female and stuff.
#5611
<+straylight> Limp Bizket stole their music from black people... but black people were going to throw it away anyway.
#39686
<bobsquared> i hate it when i accidentally refresh the page when im half way through reading random bash quotes in case there was a really great one i missed never to see again :(
<Jon> jesus, i'm never speaking to you again. ever.
<Jon> ...not because you're a total fucking nerd... it's because i've felt that too :(
#70206
<Luuseens> i drank some espresso today.. the conversation went something like this -
<Luuseens> seller.echo ("Would you want me to add some water to your espresso?":
<Luuseens> me.echo ("No, ");
<Luuseens> //me.echo ("you dont add water to my espresso, ignorant bitch, cause then it becomes plain coffe.");
<Luuseens> me.echo ("thank you. :) ");
#60772
<Vagrant|BRB> I was talking to this girl in my class about this fight she had with her brother.
<Vagrant|BRB> And she said, " I was so mad, I could of just fapped in his face. "
<Vagrant|BRB> I swear, at least five heads -- all guys, I might add -- turned to look at her. She looked confused, like she had no idea what she said.
<Vagrant|BRB> And I'm like, " ... what'd you say? "
<Vagrant|BRB> " Fap. You know. Hit. "
<Vagrant|BRB> All of the guys who turned around to look at her, me included, just sort of tittered and shared guilty glances. To this day, she has no idea why.
Comment: #FurNet
#1353
<Gayo> I went with purple even though two characters wear purple and the first city is made entirely of purple buildings.
<Gayo> Which means that so far the only green is in the little "occupied" lights above the bedroom doors.
<Sharkey> ... that sounds really familiar for some reason. Probably reminding me of some retarded childrens program.
<Sharkey> Something where all the people are purple and live in purple houses and have purple lawns, until mysterious green men come from the moon and everybody learns the wonders of ethnic diversity.
<Sharkey> Well slap ma fro! Where da purple woman at? Where da purple woman at? "Kill the greenie!"
#157391
wasted` : so basically you fucked a virgin and were disappointed by her lack of experience?
#9172
<coldacid> someone poured cleaner into the toilet bowl
<coldacid> now when i piss
<coldacid> i get the smell of cleaner instead of urine
<nover> damn that has to suck
<coldacid> and the normal pee-bubbles look like cleaner bubbles
<keerus> things must be rough for ou coldacid
<coldacid> yes
<coldacid> next thing you know, i'll be bathed and wearing fresh clothing
#40857
<blister> you know whats sweet about et?
<blister> everyone plays with a ping of like, 350
<blister> and i ping 30
<blister> do the math... :D
<blister> its like a retard fight
<blister> where i run around and shoot handicapped kids
<blister> i LOVE it
Comment: #brained / irc.nullirc.net
#8244
<`Trivia`> kq1.169. Swans are the only birds with?
<`Trivia`> 1st Hint: ******* Question Value : 4 Points
*** Joins: StupidFsh
<oregvphf> attitude
<JtHMx> Penises
<oregvphf> ;)
<`Trivia`> YES, JtHMx!!! got the answer -> Penises <- in 11.697 secs, and gets 4 Points
<`Trivia`> JtHMx has won 2 in a row!! Total Points this WEEK: 10 & this MONTH: 10
<JtHMx> what?!?!
<oregvphf> HAHAHA
<JtHMx> I WAS FUCKING JOKING
<JtHMx> TAKE THE POINTS OFF ME
* oregvphf falls over
#7282
( Fuzzy ) i love the internet
( Fuzzy ) i just found a resturant, checked the menu, read two reviews, made a booking and found out exactly where it is
( Fuzzy ) i'd confidently say that the internet is going to get me laid tonight
( Fuzzy ) thoroughly laid
( `46and2 ) wow... and here i was just using it for pr0n
#39837
<dev0> Is there any better voice-canceling implementation than the usual channel-substraction thing?
<DEATH> try screaming along with inverted polarity
#39228
<JaneLame> i sent help@google.com an invitation to gmail, and at the "attached note" section i wrote - HOW DO I SEND AN INVITATION???!!!
<JaneLame> so they just sent me another invitation
<JaneLame> i think i'm gonna send one back
<issuez> haha
<issuez> IS THIS HOW?
<JaneLame> :D
Comment: #geekissues
#38705
* chupachipmunk touches his heart... area
* TallestSilver tries to touch her heart area, but smacks her boob instead
<TallestSilver> Ow....
<chupachipmunk> Hah
* chupachipmunk can touch his chest without hitting boob
<TallestSilver> FUCKIN' BOOBS! I'LL TEACH YOU TO GET IN MY WAY!!!!!!
* TallestSilver slices off her breasts with a rusty dagger and tosses them away
* chupachipmunk hand Silver some hydrogen peroxide
<Lucifer> yknow, that reminds me of something...
<Lucifer> you've all heard of the Amazons, right?
<chupachipmunk> They are the ancient all-female race who patented one click shopping
#297660
<ambulance> so I have an amusing trojan that opens a command prompt ever 12 hours and links me to 'macho man' on youtube
<ambulance> I think I'll keep it