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#56616
<GenericLoser> I have a great commercial idea for Visa.
<GenericLoser> Have a really attractive girl stuff Visa cards down her shirt and pants.
<GenericLoser> "Visa: It's everywhere you want to be."
#30053
<@Dilandou> http://www.boldlygoingnowhere.net/safetyfirst.WMV <-- LMFAO!
* Dilandou laughs like hell
<@Dilandou> i love that guy's robot dance. ^_^
<@Dilandou> he took his top off
<@Dilandou> omfg
<@Dilandou> LMFAO
<+usrbingeek> After watching that video I got to thinking that there are people in some parts of the world that are unfortunate to not be able to afford bandwidth and look how we waste it!
#309876
<+Shawn> I've got 500 feet of cat6
<%fbs> waddafux u has so muc hcat6?
<+Shawn> fbs: Nobody was using it
<+Shawn> So I figured I could not use it better than anybody else
Comment: #darkscience
#40394
<strike_force> how big is the file?
<gabagoo> 7½ inches
<strike_force> my penis is not a file
#302146
ec> I thought you were bringing your lazy butt to work today
kj> yeah i changed my mind
ec> what are we going to do with all this "Welcome Back!" cake
kj> depends whether you want to keep the stripper inside alive or not
#26371
fallouswk > bwahahahaha. coworker comes in with a problem, gets halfway into the explanation and then pauses and says "umm, it smells like you've been farting in here" "yes, I have" "I'm going to leave now" "I think that would be best"
#7000
<evenpar123> Radioactive rain would be pretty freaky
<evenpar123> You'd need a pretty strong umbrella...
<Slant> evenpar123: Umbrella wouldn't help.
<evenpar123> Lead bubble?
<Slant> Shit, living inside of a motorized lead bubble would be cool.
<evenpar123> Where would you get gas?
<Slant> You could use the rain.
<evenpar123> But, how would you use the internet?
<mightyflo> use aol
#37249
<toku-sama> pagefault calls his father "sperm"
<toku-sama> and his mom "egg"
<pagefault> toku calls his parents test tube and eye dropper
#14014
<Chelle> I'm gonna get something to eat - brb
<GreenDragon> If they had an eating contest Chelle would win.
<Slerte> Nah, I could eat her under the table any day.
<Slerte> err
#106854
<Hanazawa> so it's my mom's birthday on the 26th, and I want to see a band called The Birthday Massacre on the 27th, so my schedule looks like "mom's birthday / birthday massacre?"
<Cecil_Harvey> :I
<Hanazawa> and this amuses me
#309109
<Pryoidain> ....
<Pryoidain> I just fucking got OWNED by a plastic bag
<Pryoidain> So I finished my twizzlers right and I had this 1 gallon plastic bag with a double seal thing
<Pryoidain> so i closed it up real tight and used a straw to inflate it to bursting, then sealed it
<Pryoidain> and i sat it on my desk chair and plopped down on it HARD to try and pop it
<Pryoidain> fucker shot out behind me, I flew forward face to desk, chair went backward, I fell off the desk and slammed my fucking head on the wall, and then the bag fell, still inflated, onto my lap
#5937
<hypr> i rolled once when i saw oakenfold a year ago he played really gay house and 5 trance songs at the end and my e dident even work
<matts> your e didn't work? did you read the manual
#41716
<johnnyque> am i your private secretary?
<diddy> well i didnt buy you those kneepads so you could go skateboarding
#63583
<Xeneizes> I don't think I'm going to look at my video game code websites on another family member's PC.
<Xeneizes> Stupid advertisements.
<Xeneizes> I didn't like having to explain hentai to my 3 year old cousin. :(
#295406
<smurf> Hi - I'm sure someone has told you why you accidentally got k-lined earlier today, but in case you didn't know, a bot we run went crazy and k-lined all of #furry, thinking you were a giant botnet >_<
#300799
lola: I inherited my eyes from mom
diamant: and tits from daddy?
lola: fuck u
diamant: but indeed?
lola: YOU CRAZY OR WHAT?? MY DAD DOESN'T HAVE TITS AT ALL!!
diamant: that's what i'm talking about :)
lola has quit IRC. (Quit)
#7679
<[BoB]spencer> LOL who has seen the capture the sperm game?
<Sharp|DoD> i play it every day with my sock
<Sharp|DoD> woops
#28993
<Yamatto> note to self
<Yamatto> shave before leaving hotel tomorrow so as not to scare the little children
<Stikes> taken too many ways :(
* Magus snickers
<Yamatto> my face you bastards
<Yamatto> my face
#7526
<Cerebus> when i go on a rampage killing all women on the planet, i'll spare you
<yunicus> yer a dear heart
<yunicus> really
<yunicus> please leave me with a bunch of stinky men
#56484
<ShakespeareFan00> Is there a list of known troublemakers somewhere?
<ShakespeareFan00> So that the relative newbies like myself can avoid them...
<zocky> ShakespeareFan00, if you're using a standard IRC client, there's a list on your right.
Comment: #wikipedia
#33101
<Trigun_> I hate Anger mangement class
<Recon> heh
<Recon> i can tell its really working :|
#304873
<Jake|E5400> There's spaghetti in the southbridge
<Jake|E5400> and steak on my CD
<Jake|E5400> I kid you not
<Jake|E5400> I just dropped a steak on my XP install disk
<~tidux> lol
* Jake|E5400 wipes it off
<ll_TankPad> Windows XP Medium Rare Edition
Comment: #wtfpwnt on irc.rubbermallet.org
#4511
<OutLore> as a matter of fact, i'm jacking off right now.
<Synoptica> keep it in your pants
<OutLore> my hand or my penis?
<Synoptica> just shut it
<OutLore> shutting up
#31294
* majestik watched 21 grams
<Haywire22> Of what?
#306433
<Crowbar> grg: no it's not hemriaging, but it's not profitable.
<kyleman7> hemorrhaging
<grg> hemorrhoids
<spacey> just remember any word with 'rrh' in it is bad news.
<spacey> diarrhea, hemorrhaging, gonorrhea
<grg> rhinorrhagia
<grg> fancy word for nose bleed :D
<grg> Rhacophorus achantharrhena
<grg> a frog!
<spacey> frogs are bad news. Just ask the people at Jurassic Park
<grg> Collared Sparrowhawk (Accipiter cirrhocephalus)
<grg> lol... this one is the best
<grg> acephalorrhachia
<grg> "congenital absence of the head and spinal column"
<spacey> yeah, I'd say that's pretty bad news