Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#118944
<Wendell> Who's that?
<Texture> qdb.us random quote
<Texture> it's like chatting on IRC
<Texture> except you don't have to chat
<Texture> and you just read the funniest parts
#210468
<&fuqinfruit> Huggie: My mother cleans her vibrators in the Dishwasher and she doesnt think i know. Its disgusting and i hate it.
<&fuqinfruit> oops wrong chan
#28293
<NeonMorning> I'm so bored I've resorted to entering a general teen chat channel.
<NeonMorning> [02:22:48] <viju> hi girls i am a young male boy who loves to have a peep under the dresses of girls like you or ladies or even housewives. i want to go under the skirts dresses or sarees of all u young n beautiful ladies. i just like to play there and lick all that is avilable down under. Will u allow me under? i Know u want me under ;)
<NeonMorning> English isn't his thing, apparrently.
<Urban_Hermit> he seems to be facinated with Australia...
<NeonMorning> He loves "all that is available in the down under."
<Urban_Hermit> kangaroos... wombats... koalas....
#34585
(@septor) I should play some splinter cell pt now
(@Galaddin) wtf? just checked the top 40 for this weeks pop songs, it's like exactly the same as when i checked 3 months ago
(@septor) bash.org mods probably run the list
Comment: So true
#12041
<tarmac> HWO THE RUCK DO I GET THE STUPID ASS FUCKIN PAPER CLIP
<tarmac> TO GO AWAY
#60954
<The Ranger> it takes me a whole fucking hour these days to get out of bed since i'm off school for a bit...
<The Ranger> everytime i wake up early i subconsciously think "Great! that means i can get more done today..."
<The Ranger> but also i give myself a little more time in bed, and then when i get out half the day is gone =(
<The Ranger> i'm such a lazy ass
<The Ranger> how about you?
<HeYpReStO101> i have sunken back into getting up no earlier than 1 everyday
<HeYpReStO101> and i find that i seem to masturbating a lot more
<HeYpReStO101> double win
#300302
<enkei> this is why computer simulations exist
<enkei> no sane person would stick his dick in a wind tunnel
#40211
<laurent> i went to go support a user earlier
<laurent> turns out this hottie in the sales department was having mouse problems
<laurent> and shes talking to me while wearing a veeeery revealing top combo
<laurent> and she goes under her desk to unplug the mouse and turns out shes wearing a thong under those tight pants
<laurent> think unsexy thoughts. think unsexy thoughts. no boner. no boner. uhh lets see if the cidr is /26 that gives me 6 bits to play with which is 64 minus two gives me 62 usable hosts on the subnet
<laurent> *whew* no boner
Comment: Just another day at the office...
#987
<|Chris> i want the nVidia's Secret catalog
<|Chris> with pictures of rendered games
#22297
* Sharkey changes topic to 'PORN HERE'
* Sharkey sets mode: -s
<Roger> ...this won't end good.
#52156
NoVwith A Bullet: lol, get this
NoVwith A Bullet: I'm chillin' here in cooper hall after hours
NoVwith A Bullet: building's all locked up
mattye15: yah
mattye15: lol
NoVwith A Bullet: security guards walk by and are like "yo, just to let you know, it's locked up, so if you leave, you can't get back in, and don't let anyone in"
NoVwith A Bullet: about half an hour later, I hear this knocking at the door next to me
NoVwith A Bullet: I ignore it
NoVwith A Bullet: it gets louder
NoVwith A Bullet: still ignore
NoVwith A Bullet: the person is freakin' POUNDING on the door when I decide to get up and look
NoVwith A Bullet: it's the security guards
NoVwith A Bullet: they locked themselves out
mattye15: LOL
mattye15: thats funny
NoVwith A Bullet: oh BOY do I feel safe on this campus!
mattye15: wow
NoVwith A Bullet: Best part? They left again without getting their keys
#310881
<StoneCyp1erAW> dude i just met a fourth person named chance.
<StoneCyp1erAW> WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
#11552
<happy> dude, when will i be able to buy a big gigantic fibre line for like $10/mo?
<jre> You can make one for free if you eat a lot of bran.
#30938
<Caffeine> i was dared to go buy lube
<Caffeine> so i went with my best friend/housemate and talked about double ended dildos while hugging her in the checkout line with ky in my hand
<Caffeine> the cashier asked me 'how was your day'
<Caffeine> i said 'it will be better once i get this hunny home'
<Caffeine> her jaw dropped
Comment: Caffeine is female.
#16374
(debaser) i bought a mouse today
(debaser) and it didnt have a ball in it
(debaser) i got a neutered mouse.
#53665
beafet: I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time
beafet: I'm not a smoker
beafet: I just really like certain songs
#6116
<kegpin> I gotta go.
<Krebstar> ok, get better soon, keg.
<puppyfish> aww... is keg sick?
<Krebstar> nope. I just think he could be better than he is.
#57086
<@codstar> rice crispies and hangovers don't go together
<@codstar> first time ive ever told a bowl of cereal to stfu
#55857
digmikey: the longest i had sex was 1 hour 10second. but was the day we set the clocks ahead.
#23401
<mrT> how was spain mr lox
<loximus> fantabulous mrt
<mrT> did you feel homoerotic in the huge spanish crowd
<loximus> totally
#311302
<dn5> I have int start = 1476620495; and int end = 1476620495 (unix timestamp), but if I have int res; and then res = end - start, res returns 0 when printf with %d
<dn5> why?
<izalove> because it's the same number?
<fstd> duh
<dn5> okay thats not supposed to happen haha
<fstd> ,reset
<candide> Days since our last accident: 0
Comment: ##c at freenode
#39169
<ducklord> I just told my mom that my sheets were victim of a penis-related accident
<ducklord> and she didn't react in any other way then saying: "ok, I'll clean them"
Comment: #geekissues
#33887
<I|O> goin off to college
<I|O> mom got me a dehumidifer
<I|O> dad got me a humidifier
<xiao> stick em in yer room for a night. let them fight it out
#110372
<Beastage> notice how life and fail have same letters?
Comment: irc.neowin.net, #neowin
#6656
(@TRCC|shot): directX 8.1 any good?
(@landje): i havnet pld it
(@ui|ICEMAN): dirext X isn't a game
(@landje): what is it
(@landje): if any;one puts that in their quit message i'll feckign kil ythe,