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#20503
<Radu> a friend of my dad's in Texas named his daughter Treasure Darling
<Radu> i shit you not
<Tac0> did you fuck her
<Tac0> ?
<Radu> dude, it's his newborn baby, you idiot
<Tac0> whats your point
#5300
<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.
#1193
<|Chris> i want you to setup a word substitution in your head
<|Chris> whenever you see the term "wrestling," i want you to think, "white trash"
#36396
<@m4rine> everyone be quiet for like
<@m4rine> 10 minutes
<@m4rine> so i get bored of irc
<@m4rine> and go to bed
#2871
[incorrect] no, we're all using pens, paper and carrier pidgeons
[incorrect] actually, maybe that's what PPP stands for
#114149
<rabidmoth> When life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat the damn lemons.
#61433
<mvz> my morning erection is my power on self test
Comment: #olsentwins
#54619
<@Zook> fuck
<@Zook> Sister wants on -_-
<fire> ouch
<@Zook> Yeah.
<@Zook> but what she doesnt know is i added her sites to Windows HOSTS file.
<@Zook> to redirect to 127.0.0.1
<@Me> huh?
<@Zook> In other words she tries to access her sites and it doesnt let her
<@Zook> and In other words ill be back real soon :p
#8379
<johnnY> ???????//////
<johnnY> ?????///////////////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ?//////////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????//////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????????????/////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ?????/////////////////////////////
<johnnY> \///\/\/\///\\\//\/\/\///\\\/\/\\\//\//\\/\///\\\/\/\/
*** Sn00kie has joined #pk
<johnnY> \/\////\\///\\///\\\///\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\\///\\//
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<johnnY> dude
<johnnY> it was my cat
<johnnY> ...
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> dude thats my cat
<pKfoster-ibx> sorry i went to take a piss
<pKfoster-ibx> the cat comes in and types SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> i cant help it.. sorry dude
#6516
<bus> what can I help you with, xorg?
<xorg> well
<xorg> when uncle daddy touches my bathing suit
<xorg> i get all tingly
<xorg> but the bible says NO
#294656
<drac> I was in a public restroom today and the box that contains the toilet paper rolls has a side that can't be seen until you're sitting down
<drac> so I wrote "I pissed all over the toilet seat" on there
#8526
<helminthes> haikus are real gay
<helminthes> cause they put limitations
<helminthes> on syllables used
#4175
<METHODZsz> WinME is a app you put on someone elses computer to play a joke on them into thinkin their computer is fucked
#28716
<Pioneer> [ Lazesharp ] guess what i found
<Lazesharp> erm
<Lazesharp> hang on, i know this one
<Lazesharp> your penis?
#391
<Zer0sKewl> Haha, I just nuked someone for my first time, Am I elite now?
#17340
<reston> make jizz ice cubes
<reston> thats a fun party prank
<stu> you realize that's cryogenics
<reston> yeah but imagine when a chick puts one in her drink
<stu> what if she puts it up her twat
<reston> the sperm will be dead
<stu> she could get pregnant from an icecube
<stu> no it wouldn't
<reston> yea it would
<stu> uh.
<stu> how do you think IVF works?
<reston> theyre organisms
<reston> theyd die
<reston> i dunno
<reston> you know too much about sperm
<stu> well, i have a lot.
#38960
<Crest> help! my cell phone won't stop vibrating
<NJX180> wanna trade?
#49813
<jre> I started with this girl and now I'm not interested
<jre> How do I be rid of her?
<wolffenstein> huge netsplit
#29797
<@kouha> cordless roxors :D
<+jocke> I had a cordless... it didn't survive my quake playing
<+jocke> too easy to toss
<@kouha> ic..
<+Daisuke> hah, no safety cord
<+jocke> ;)
<+Daisuke> flying mice
<+Daisuke> aren't those bats?
#27379
<Dareon> It hasn't loaded all the way yet, but there better be a schoolgirl at the end of those tentacles.
<Dareon> ...Wrong window. >_<
<Zephy> lmao
#14471
<marlais> for i am no longer a stranger in the ways of the woman :P
<SoulSteal> marlais: you finally killed one, eh?
#17249
<NickBlasta> i always dream and then wake up and i was like woah was that real
<NickBlasta> like the matrix
<isajeep> which pill did you take?
<NickBlasta> the hard pill
<isajeep> lol knew you'd say that
#14746
<|dxb|-XeS`006-> i have a nuclear bomb
<Mercury}W{> I bet its in your pants too.
<ONP-Trugoy> great now this channel is being monitored by the gov't
#306409
< iFarmer> I've come to the conclusion that the employees of my local library are idiots
< iFarmer> "Scan our QR code to browse our library database on your smartphone!"
< iFarmer> I scan the QR code. It says:
< iFarmer> "Scan our QR code to browse our library database on your smartphone!"
#30645
* +Yardbomb tries to make his cat swear fealty.
<+Yardbomb> my arm is bleeding :(