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#54688
(ZackisDead) do you know how easy it is to ruin a perfectly good family
(ZackisDead) for the fuck of it
(ZackisDead) I called some dude tonight and told him I've been fucking his wife
(ZackisDead) I just ran my finger down the phone book
(Mantits) Uh
(Mantits) ...
(Mantits) Did he believe you?
(ZackisDead) I think so
Comment: D:
#103633
Bahamut: so my dog is annoying my dad
Bahamut: and he just threatened to grill him
Bahamut: and my dog ran away
Comment: my family is viet
#51438
<@bailz> Cum.In.My.Ass.Not.In.My.Mouth.3.DVDRiP.SVCD-IJS
<@bailz> hawt
<Hobbes|1Day> thats fucking disgusting
<Hobbes|1Day> who the fuck uses svcd anymore??
#39251
Searcher> Man, all my MacGyver'ing is going to come back and kill me. I just know it. Next to my bed, I have a chair stuck in the corner of the room. On either side of the corner, I have a two-by-four wedged. On top of the two-by-fours, I have a dowel rod duct-taped. Hanging from the dowel rods, just kind of hooked over the top, I have a fan, oscillating. Sitting on top the inverted fan's base, I have a speaker. One day, that speaker is going to fall on my head.
#309512
< elliott> As mentioned in the outline history section a French artillery officer by the name of Nicholas Cugnot (1729-1804) made a steam three-wheeler intended for military use in 1769. This was arguably the first 'motor vehicle' although the small boiler could carry only enough water for a fifteen minute run and the maximum speed was about 4mph.
< elliott> In spite of these limitations on his first road trial of the three wheeler machine, making him arguably the first motorist, M. Cugnot hit a wall, becoming the first motorist to have an accident, and after several more experiments he scored the hat trick by becoming the first person to be arrested and imprisoned for dangerous driving.
#44618
<looksofat>I sent my mom out for food 3 hours ago
<looksofat> stupid mom eating world
#20014
<limejuice> i wish mirc was able to sort the userlist according to level of stupidity so that i could just highlight the top 5 or so and click on ignore
#16586
<shagman> and here I go rollerblading in black jeans and a dark blue t-shirt
<shagman> it must be 40 out
<SourKey> your nuts
<shagman> yeah, they're hot too
#3134
<friedegg> _.---._ /\\
<friedegg> ./' "--`\//
<friedegg> ./ o \
<friedegg> ././\ )______ \__ \
<friedegg> ./ / / \ \ | |\ \ \7
<friedegg> " " " "
<friedegg> _.---._ /\\
<friedegg> ./' "--`\//
<friedegg> ./ o \
<friedegg> ././\ )______ \__ \
<friedegg> ./ / / \ \ | |\ \ \7
<friedegg> " " " "
<b|ubeard> eek
<friedegg> shhh
<friedegg> i'm observing wildlife
#54313
<Dewfus> I'm hungry...let's eat stuff!
<Hoop> Hooray!
***Dewfus is now known as Dewfus|Cake
***Hoop is now known as Hoop|Soup
***Shack_Wheel is now known as Shack_Wheel|Cheese
***Moflucker is now known as Moflucker|Pussy
#1280
<disgrunt> New "Britney"'s born in the US every year: 1,483.
<disgrunt> New "Dick Tease"'s born in the US every year: 3.
<disgrunt> That's the funniest shit I've ever seen.
<disgrunt> How would you like to be named Dick Tease?
<fade_> haha
<fade_> well, britney sure is a dick tease
<cout> disgrunt: I'd go by "Richard"
#169868
<+Tim__> `hey al, tell me all about your day` > /dev/null
#40766
janeannskinner: it's kinda sad that you're a year younger than me and we're like the same level of maturity
Devious hobo: especially since you're a girl
janeannskinner: exactly my thinking
janeannskinner: I should be all mature and thinking about stuff like global warming
janeannskinner: instead I'm giggling over the idea of the printer coming on the scanner
Devious hobo: hehehehe
janeannskinner: COMING ON TO
janeannskinner: DISREGARD PLS
#29949
<kare> The next Microsoft OS will have a new anti piracy feature: it will come in an arcade cabinet, you need to insert coins to boot it or start a program
#6919
<Uriel> crackhead is driving at 60 MPH and talking to the seats. A stoner is driving at 6 MPH and munching on the seats
<piman> How fast will they be going in 2 hours when they hit?
<pvx> 0 mph. Dammed elephant crossings..
#310370
<khelp_work> hey folks
<kerin> yo
<khelp_work> hows it going?
<kerin> like it has fallen to me once again to make war against countless unmotivated shit-for-brains assholes who have dedicated every fiber of their mediocre existences to undermining everything i have striven to accomplish
<kerin> it is as though i stand alone in a howling gale of misery and uselessness
<khelp_work> so...mondays?
<kerin> yes
<kerin> you have summarized the situation nicely
#64004
<DanAtHome> WELLINGTON (Reuters) - New Zealand's indigenous Maori population reacted angrily on Wednesday to a researcher's findings that Maori have a high representation of a gene linked to aggression, as the nation faces a domestic violence crisis.
<DanAtHome> Is there a Maori word for "irony"?
#297065
Josh: it's amazing that people don't simply think "apostrophe's replace missing letters in a contraction" and use them correctly
Mike: ...please tell me that was intentional and sarcastic
Mike: because otherwise it's going in quotes.txt. and nothing ever gets removed from quotes.txt
#2061
<|shark|> if a guy took a home pregnancy test
<|shark|> and it turned out positive
<|shark|> what does that mean?
<Merl> shark.. go see a doctor man ;-)
#40952
<@Goremageddon> the funniest thing i did was when we did this cath on an obese lady
<@Goremageddon> i was gonna do an endoscopy thru a urethrea on a obese lady
<@Goremageddon> and i couldnt find her urethra
<@Goremageddon> lol
<@Goremageddon> so i kept shoving the tube in and out
<@Goremageddon> and she started to moan
<@Goremageddon> my friend just said
<@Goremageddon> "oh my god dude"
<@Goremageddon> dude i mean i was trying to do the cath rright
<@Goremageddon> so i kept putting it in and out outta her pussy
<+Fleshing> ROFL
<@iTERATiON> this is making my trip happy
Comment: #blackdeath-cult
#16428
<WeaselBoy> livejournal is nothing but thousands of people all saying "Does this make my ass look big?" at the same time
#93698
<TheFoundation> "Enraged spice miners on Naboo"
<TheFoundation> spice
<TheFoundation> real original
<Cyber> "Our lawyers can't repel plagiarism of THAT magnitude!"
#14746
<|dxb|-XeS`006-> i have a nuclear bomb
<Mercury}W{> I bet its in your pants too.
<ONP-Trugoy> great now this channel is being monitored by the gov't
#13295
<Ntruder> someone peed in the dating pool here
#10724
TX Luder : dude
TX Luder : i just had a genius idea
TX Luder : m&ms frozen in ice cubes
TX Luder : just think of it man
TX Luder : your sucking on ice
TX Luder : then WHAM
TX Luder : m&m