Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#305924
<@tacodog> was reading off recipes to my wife and she just made me a bloody mary xD
<@pyna> maybe youre accidentally husbanding as root
#31143
<Berzerker> i think i just farted at about 25 hz
#31822
<@SLing> anyway I love grocery shopping because I get to make my family look like fools
<@SLing> the other day we were at the grocery store
<@SLing> and the first place was all the melons (like canteloupe, grapefruit, etc)
<evolsoulx> mmhmm
<@SLing> anyway I remembered hearing from some TV chef that before buying melons you're supposed to knock on them
<@SLing> so
<@SLing> I stood there
<@SLing> for five minutes
<@SLing> knocking on melons
<@SLing> people started looking at me strange
<evolsoulx> lol
<@SLing> I was like "It's ok, the TV chef told me to"
<Erik> lol
<@SLing> I'd knock on one and be like "This one sounds fresh"
<@SLing> long story short I don't have to go grocery shopping anymore
#138027
Ganon: That magnet in the finger idea sounded really awesome, minus the idea of getting some sort of poisoning from the rare-earth metals
Gayo: oh oh dude
Gayo: What if you were a woman and you had MAGNETIC BREAST IMPLANTS.
Katt: I guess that would make you really attractive
Ganon: ...
#23467
<Lank|war> man
<Lank|war> a girl once asked me
<Lank|war> what it feels like
<Lank|war> to have an erection
<Boxthor> ....
<Lank|war> and I couldn't figure a way to explain it to her
<Lank|war> they had asked other guys
<Lank|war> and they were like
<Lank|war> "we came to you because you know how to word stuff right"
<Lank|war> and I was like
<Lank|war> uhhhhhh
<Lank|war> it gets hard
#45790
<@jasta> hehe, you know im officially a network admin of a 100% windows network? :)
<@jasta> it's so weird :)
<@jasta> i have no idea what im doing and its great :)
<@jasta> im constantly just sitting around waiting on Windows progress bars and stuff :)
<@jasta> and talking on IRC :)
#987
<|Chris> i want the nVidia's Secret catalog
<|Chris> with pictures of rendered games
#78993
<Sanguini> Dear Sir/Madam,
<Sanguini> You are a lucky winner in our "Win a Tomahawk Cruise Missile" competition.
<Sanguini> Please send us your GPS coordinates to claim your prize.
#302082
<Kolin> just googled myself and my dad no longer comes before me
<rye`sky> it's more romantic if you come at the same time
<Kolin> thats sick
#126624
<anti-net> I'm going to bed when the Sun gets up, lazy bloody thing
<anti-net> rarely does night shifts, only in the North Pole
<max> hey, in the north pole it stays up for 6 months straight! you call that lazy? i call that caffeine
<max> then it goes down for 6 months, now thats a caffeine crash
#265271
asrskz: Don't tell me who won the 2000 election. I have the coverage on disk but I have not gotten around to watching it. Don't spoil it for me
Alexius: hehe
asrskz: Only last week I found out that Clinton was re-elected in 1996.
Alexius: Yup.
Alexius: Wait for the next two seasons. They're really shocking!
Comment: #TVTorrents
#55113
<Ryken> Why doesn't EFnet have chanserv and nickserv?
<+iamben> we have /kick and /ban, thats good enough.
#56171
<woops> people without porn invent stuff like computers or solve world hunger
#310941
Chillum: the most evil thing I have ever made is a tiny USB stick that when inserted in a computer pretends to be a keyboard and turns on/off CAPS LOCK every minute or so randomly
Chillum: it drives people insane
dmacks_away: Luckily I have a case-insensitive filesystem and a shell that is so crappy it doesn't even realize when a command is miscapitalized.
legoktm: you use PHP as your shell?
#8632
<@Lum_> 128 mb is enough
<@Lum_> it's fucking enough for microsoft dev studio
<@da_slog> NO IT ISNT STFU NEWB
<@Lum_> I think it's enough for my TANK GAME
#2456
<M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ?
<p5Ds13a06> you cant buy alcoholics
<p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free
#3668
<ThaDragon> money == good life == pussy + beer.
<ThaDragon> Preferrably in that order. Pussy tastes horrible after beer.
<tenfour> eew
* ThaDragon grossed out tenfour
<tenfour> I can't stand the taste of beer
#69
<spleenex> EQ is like a 3D AOL chatroom with monsters :/
#7192
<gedamo> Some of our customers used to call their computer boxes the "brain" and it led tothem calling up saying things like "My brain isn'tworking"
#22339
<gorefeend> my bum is all alone :/
#297266
<Warchamp7> The other day at work, two of my bosses were trying to find each other in the office
<Warchamp7> And they were yelling "Ping!" back and forth
<Warchamp7> It was one of the greatest moments of my life
Comment: #MAGFest on irc.vgmusic.net
#2390
<TasmBoy> hah that farmer joe guy's funny.. he electricuted himself at the age of 8 now he's dumb as shit
<DAL9000> TasmBoy: what did you do to become dumb as shit?
<TasmBoy> I can't remember
<DAL9000> At least he remembers.
<TasmBoy> you got a point there
#1909
<tralamat> microsoft donates 5 million dollars worth of software to the rescue effort in new york
<devilish1> 5 mil of software
<tralamat> shit i see cops diggin rubble with an outlook cd
#11174
<@BitStream> well, I moved the couch down stairs
<@BitStream> so the new one can be put where the old one was
<helixblue> against the wall?
<@BitStream> yea
<helixblue> ahh.. I was hoping that sound was you cleaning the dishes
<helixblue> I ate my cereal for breakfast with measuring cups this morning.
<@BitStream> I was trying to get rid of as much stuff as possible before work, so thats less to do when I get back :/
<@BitStream> helixblue: did you look in the right cabinet
<@BitStream> there were bowls in there yesterday
<helixblue> bits: I used the measuring cups as spoons
#3340
(koch): !need some help
(koch): !anyone in private please
(@Lynkx): koch: what the hell are you doing
(@dc): hes an idiot
(@Lynkx): !i want a vagina
(@Lynkx): shit
(@Lynkx): don`t werk