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#305055
<Nuvero> man, i think i just got trolled hard
<Nuvero> i was taking a dump, when I notice a Playboy is lying in the newspaper box, so I started reading it
<Nuvero> (reading it, no fapping, or anything)
<Nuvero> halfway through, I hear the door open, and a knife appeared
<Nuvero> i was like "holy fucking shit!" and started pulling my pants up real quick
<Nuvero> when the door fully open, and here is my dad, with a knife in his hand, taking a photo of me
<Nuvero> freaked out, trying to pull up my pants, with a Playboy in the hand
<Nuvero> i... don't know what to think.
#27183
* Joins: cybergeek (~cybergeek@riscy.net-20F8CEF6.cable.mindspring.com)
<cybergeek> help!
<cybergeek> i need to think of something that my g/f and i can do, that doesn't require any amount of nudity
<cybergeek> also must be something that does not involve spending muchos monitos, does not involve revel fires, does not involve frisbee, does not involve Monty Python (cuz i haven't converted her yet)
<Heretic> Cuddle beneath a tree in the warm summer night.
<cybergeek> good idea
<cybergeek> only problem is it rained earlier, so it's all wet now
<Heretic> Get a blow dryer.
#10724
TX Luder : dude
TX Luder : i just had a genius idea
TX Luder : m&ms frozen in ice cubes
TX Luder : just think of it man
TX Luder : your sucking on ice
TX Luder : then WHAM
TX Luder : m&m
#5263
<DCBastard> wow - either fairlight and deviance have absolutely pathetic suppliers or morrowind has some good copy protection
<DCBastard> i think it's absolutely disgusting that you can BUY a game before downloading it
#670
<Johnno> wouldnt it be cool if there was a cow that had a door on it's side, that when you opened it up, it produced nummmy pie
<wonko> that's a good idea! hold on while I round up some venture capital...
#4319
<josho> having eggo "pissed" at me was like having a rabid chihuahua yiping at you becuase you stepped on its oversized genitals
<Guilty> See you just complemented eggo again
#29447
(+emil) hahahahahahshsahhahshahhhhhash
(@Spellbinder) hash?
(+emil) what?
(+emil) oh
(+emil) i have fat fingers
(+emil) so when i laugh on irc
(+emil) i press the s button too
#13625
<Sumez> there's no way a girl could ever imagine the pain of being hurt in the testicles
<Mort-Hog> emma: The pain oozes up, and your ahems swell up to the size of pomigranits, your voice goes high and squeky, and your eye lids flicker.
<MrCoulomb> I thought that's what happened when you get possesed by mickey mouse...
#57944
<@stunty> i gave my gf 100 bux to buy me a dvd play that played divx and xvid
<@stunty> she comes back with a small pink dvd player
<@stunty> and said she saved me 50 bux
#310258
< cyberdog> so there are a few holes in watchdogs
< cyberdog> you can 'prevent crimes' by pre-empting them using some bullshit minority report hacking anonymous #wearelegion thing, but when you prevent it, it counts as a victory condition no matter what happens
< cyberdog> so the half hour police chase beforehand, the hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of damage caused, the fact that i arrived on the scene by crashing through the outside area of a restaurant and killed 75% of its customers, and then the fact that i blew both the perp AND the victim away by accident doesn't matter
< cyberdog> perps down, you're a hero
< cyberdog> and then you can stealth in cars to avoid detection, yet it doesn't seem to matter whether the car has doors or not
< cyberdog> hes just sort of slumped in the seat in plain fucking view
< cyberdog> its still entertaining though
< cyberdog> it's a bit like hackers in that it's silly but still enjoyable
< nukes> ahem
< nukes> hackers was not silly
< cyberdog> no that's true. every time i send an email 1s and 0s fly around the room and i surf down a 90s tidal wave wearing an augmented reality headset :P
< nukes> that's not augmented reality, that's lsd
#35569
<ds91> <3
<ds91> <#
<ds91> <3
<ds91> <#
<ds91> U MAKE MY HEART POUND
#27400
<Nylad> yeah, i should probably shower before my interview at mcdonalds :P
#300584
Matthew: It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook. We have 11 friends in common. I need new friends.
#9322
<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops
#31004
<Kasidori> my stepdad wouldn't let metake a piccy for this reason: You may think you know your bestfriends, but profit prevails all! They will take the picture of your head and put it on a naked body and sell it on E-bay.
#2652
<+Cypherus> what is a splash-screen?
<Nagaika> when your screen falls into the bathtub
#1213
*** Now talking in #hardcoremp3
*** Topic is 'Welcome to #hardcoremp3, fred dursts phone # 310-865-1000 finally a use for www.dialpad.com PRANK THAT SOB'
#6049
red sets mode: +b *!*@*.aol.com
*** creepen12 was kicked by biohzrd (banned: (your 500 free hours will not be spent here./6.05.02))
#7429
<@a> i should get "butt plug" tattooed on my cock
#51533
<val1s> anyone know any hassidik jewish porn websites i can redirect my old companies website to?
#87845
<Fravec> Can i see you on the webcam?
<Jamie> no. I got to do my hair and stuff
<Fravec> you dont have to
<Jamie> I dooo :)
<Fravec> I wont look at your face anywayz
#294756
< n0p> hey i'm looking for a php web-based front end to control linux files and permissions. can anyone suggest any decent open source projects?
<+bradD> igotrooted-0.2
< n0p> link me
< n0p> pls?
#21658
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?
#294482
< User_4574> rm -rf /usr/slugonamission
< User_4574> apparently you dont exist...
< slugonamission> sudo rm -rf /dev/shittyUser
< slugonamission> touch /dev/yourMum
< slugonamission> cp /dev/yourMum /mnt/myPenis
< x5315> chmod a+rwx /dev/yourMum
< slugonamission> Hang on, retract my last statement
< slugonamission> mount /dev/yourMum -t fuck hard /mnt/myPenis
< slugonamission> Yeah bitch :P
< x5315> slugonamission: you're a fucking nerd
#305658
<dhill> I need to shave damnit. Hair is getting caught in the zipper again.
<majdo> wtf