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#32479
<janedidit> when i was 17 i was babysitting all day for my aunt who had a two year old kid who was just a completely fucking spoiled brat
<janedidit> i was trying to get him to go to bed, after a 30 minute struggle with him, and i was sitting on the rocking chair watching the simpsons
<janedidit> when the fucking asswipe BIT MY ANKLE
<PickeL> LOL
<janedidit> and i screamed "YOU LITTLE BRAT I'M GOING TO KICK YOU LIKE A FOOTBALL" then my aunt walked through the door and was screaming at me saying "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SON?!"
<janedidit> i replied, "your little turd just bit my god damn ankle!" and she shoved me out the door and was like "i'll call you when you grow up!!"
<janedidit> then a week later i called her and said, "okay i haven't grown up yet but i'd still like my pay."
<janedidit> i've got a $45 check in my pocket and a little scrap of paper that says "i've never gotten along with my sister, but now i've got a reason not to talk to her anymore, thanks."
Comment: janedidit was babysitting for her aunt
#5586
| Lavalamp is (~lava@www.childrenpalace.edu.vn])
<@madog> vietnam sucks anyway
<Lavalamp> vn = vietnam?
<Lavalamp> maybe that's why it's so lagged
<@madog> *sigh*
<@Guilty> I figured Vietnam would have a wonderful network of fiber since all the holes were already dug
#43695
<SpazLink> Dyslexic?
<Kederaji> Why is that word so bloody hard to spell?
<Kederaji> It's like it's taunting them.
<Kederaji> "Guess what, you're dyslexic, and you'll never be able to spell it!"
Comment: esper.net #C&T
#2773
<michael-> Complaint : Seller won auction but did not send payment
<michael-> Response by mike@soupernova.com - son was killed in a car crash, extremely insensitive and impatient seller
#28813
<dharmakid> are you guyz sure that God hates fags? My brothers gay,,,does God hate him?
<n0thing> yes
<n0thing> god hate him
<tfg> yes
<tfg> Everyone hates him
<n0thing> includling me and tfg
<tfg> but ofcourse
<dharmakid> poor poor unenlightened souls....God is the source Universal love...hi very nature is incapable of hate...I feel compassion for all of you...you will be doomed to repeat the process of birth,life and death until you learn this Truth...
* dharmakid has left #god.hates.fags
<n0thing> he must be gay
<n0thing> like his brother
<tfg> yeah
#38139
<Whitetail> Dont buy your birth control items and pet supplies at the same time, or you will get funny looks
#12065
*** Mank_Sleep is now known as Mank_DONOTBOTHERMANKHEISNOWLOO
*** Mank_DONOTBOTHERMANKHEISNOWLOO is now known as Mank_LOOKINGATCHICKSLICKEACHOT
*** Mank_LOOKINGATCHICKSLICKEACHOT is now known as Mank_PORNO
#20177
<Measure> if I was a mom I wouldn't be anti-porn
<eva> my dad takes the 'well at least he's not gay' position
<waffle> eva: yeah, the jokes on him
<eva> shut up fag
<eva> IM NOT GAY
#33550
<utopian_fiat> I used to have 160 penis enlargements every day before I trashed hotmail
<utopian_fiat> errr.... penis enlargement advertisments... ><
Comment: irc.starfusion.org
#30819
* Antimatter glares at whoever modded his comment "-1 redundant" on slashdot
<Antimatter> c'mon, it's *slashdot*. redundancy is an art form!
#4765
<m00cow> i'm downloading mozilla rc1
<m00cow> i wonder what its like
<m00cow> i hope mozilla uses its firebreath on microsoft
<m00cow> then eats microsoft
<m00cow> then poos micro soft poopoos
<DCBastard> uh-huh
<DCBastard> how many cones have you smoked tonight?
#7309
<RaVeNX> shut it you pig fucker :)
<Knight> it's horses you twat.. horses
#4502
<Khross|Zzz> You can't have my precious cock ring.
<nilBnW|Zzz> You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead cock!!
#77492
<big_bob_9> man i just took the SAT
<big_bob_9> im so tired
<krakatau585> haha its really hard isnt it
<beano> thats what your mom said
<big_bob_9> its so long too
<beano> thats what your mom said
<krakatau585> but you still dont have enough time to finish haha
<beano> thats what your mom said
<krakatau585> dude stop before you go too far
<beano> thats what your mom said!
<big_bob_9> rofl
#14528
<AutistiCat> I'm forgetful.
<AutistiCat> Yet I can remember 50 digits of pi...
<Arcman> That's why, see. That took up all your brain space.
#306366
<mabb> my project has been research into "is this possible" for the first 3 weeks. Now it's moved onto "Hey, this might be possible"
<yicui> is it proven rigourously?
<mabb> more like proven religiously: I'm praying that this works
#7627
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
* ToRMeNTeD comes on brazil
<Ratty`> ergh
<Ratty`> it's all sticky
<ToRMeNTeD> you told me to
#6565
<barkode> it's all about getting drunk at defcon, and waking up the next morning in a ditch, with a TRS-80, a wireless modem, a
sombero, a pair of high heels, an angry midget and you're dressed like a mariachi.
#11111
(Pixie_Pete): Care to join me in a little sven co-op?
* ssmmdd fires up Sven
(Dogsdinner): That's quite possibly the most homoerotic thing ever said in #TPNGC.
#29694
<Bifrost> BROWN NOTE > *
<triple6> POO JAM!
<DJ-Pyro> I always pick the best times to maximize this window
#54419
<Malekh> Farts make me sad
<ridger> do you believe that all your happy is escaping?
#50837
<Samantha_Carter> is it possible that someone can be so handicapped in his eyesight that he wouldnt see anything with glasses?
<Samantha_Carter> he wouldnt even be able to recognize shapes or anything?
<wilkz> yes sam - its called being blind.
#53214
<withnail> effexor sounds like a hacker drug
#29458
<aFrO> hehe yeah I found a prossie on the way home :)
_Frog_> rofl
_Frog_> looking for one?
<aFrO> and she let me nail her for a £1
_Frog_> I hope you brought a hammer
#11602
<lawnhorn> i am a tool
<lawnhorn> i fix therefore i am