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#33277
<goatasaur> if you ate nothing but corn for like two days, and then took a shit, and took a picture of it, you could be an internet celebrity
<goatasaur> such is the power of the internet
Comment: #fark
#100874
<rasp> i was catering a “tenant appreciation” event in palo alto yesterday
<rasp> we had these slushie machines, but one broke and spilled everywhere
<rasp> so i went to the main office to ask if they had a hose, but the guy tells me,
<rasp> “no, but i see the google guys across the street using a hose sometimes, you can try asking them”
<rasp> turns out this place was right next to one of google’s offices
<rasp> i walked over to the cafeteria area and asked one of the cooks, be he told me they didn't know where it was
<rasp> as i was walking away, i had a little moment to myself...
<rasp> "wow, i just queryed google irl"
<rasp> "lol"
Comment: error 404: hose not found
#307555
Sarig: problem with satelites is ping
Sarig: You don't know what lightspeed is until you try to game over a geostationary satelite
#3210
<Survivor> heh , metallica really sux
<Waldo> yeah, they're a shitty mix of country and rock
<Survivor> they was a good band before 90`s
<Waldo> was they?!?!
* Waldo pokes survivor in the eye
#39944
<Teromen> ekmf: irc taught me the correct use of : and made my ged score higher :D
#23467
<Lank|war> man
<Lank|war> a girl once asked me
<Lank|war> what it feels like
<Lank|war> to have an erection
<Boxthor> ....
<Lank|war> and I couldn't figure a way to explain it to her
<Lank|war> they had asked other guys
<Lank|war> and they were like
<Lank|war> "we came to you because you know how to word stuff right"
<Lank|war> and I was like
<Lank|war> uhhhhhh
<Lank|war> it gets hard
#310724
<ceren> actually it's more like when a cat eats tinsel
<ceren> and you have to pull out lumps of hardened turds from the cat's ass
<ceren> that's what removing technical debt is like
#38063
<Twiztid> My gf called me gay
<Twiztid> I came back with
<Twiztid> "If I'm gay then why do I think of you when I jerk it?"
<Twiztid> There was an akward silence...
<Linguica> whats wrong with that
<Twiztid> nothing
<Twiztid> except I was talking to my grandfather
#45434
(Ryan0rZ) double wammy, Knox
(Ryan0rZ) your grandma died and you lost your internet
(Ryan0rZ) I'd hate to have that happen to me
(Knox) lol :(
(Ryan0rZ) I can't go very long without the internet
(Ryan0rZ) :'(
Comment: #tag irc.zirc.org
#9975
<Spengler> you know what?
<Spengler> the matrix would have made a really shit movie if he took the blue pill.
#305367
<samurai_> whoa
<samurai_> this must be the internet equivalent of blacking out and waking up the next day to find you don't remember a thing
<samurai_> seems i had an account for a porn site i hadn't used in 30 weeks
<samurai_> from where apparently i'd downloaded over 20 gigs of videos
<samurai_> none of which i have anymore or recall seeing
<samurai_> well they wished me happy birthday today and that's how i knew it even existed
<samurai_> i feel like an undercover agent who was brainwashed and given a new identity
<dd7> as a pervert?
<samurai_> yes
<samurai_> yes indeed
#3972
*** Now talking in #sandstorm
*** Topic is 'http://media.sub-sonix.net:8008 all sandstorm, all the time... for 60 days until the RIAA starts charging'
#29246
<outlawpoet> building your own girlfriend is not masturbation unless you can accurately predict her actions
#33216
<chiDEEZE> go fuck yourself
<mindstorms> itd be cool if there was somoene named "yourself"
<mindstorms> and he was like constantly being raped
#435
<SYch0> wwf the music vol 4
<sasami> I saw that CD at a store . .
<sasami> It was in the "HICK" section.
#33294
<jessie> I'm going to put on my skimpiest maternity outfit and go bar hopping.
Comment: #fark on irc.irvingnet.net
#18873
<dave2> BEING SEVEN IS SO LONELY
<dave2> I CAN'T BAG ANY CHICKS BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE COOTIES
#8106
<flee> for some reason it never occurred to me until now how odd it is for elmer fudd to be singing about his "spear and magic helmet" while bugs cross-dresses.
<6> I know, it makes so much sense until the cross dressing
<midi> you can say that about lots of things.
#51335
<GenericLoser> A kid got detention today in French class.
<GenericLoser> He made a white flag for his project on French art.
#2160
<TheMyst> hey, anyone here use a radar detector?
<Customz> yes why myst?
<Customz> i only use it so i know when to stash the blunt
<Customz> fuck speeding
#35113
_Sarah_: so what do you do all night?
groogle: ....
groogle: fuck with peoples minds on irc ;)
_Sarah_: ahhhh
_Sarah_: so im just a victim?
#103028
<Blacken> I've seriously pissed off headshrinkers before.
<Blacken> "Well, I was raped by my uncle as a child, I slammed my brother's hand in the oven door when I was eleven because I was jealous of the attention that he got as a baby, and I burned the woods behind my house down when I was 15."
<Blacken> "WHAT?!"
<Blacken> "Nah, I'm just fucking with you."
#59854
<Saito|BeastOut> Windows CE...
<Saito|BeastOut> Windows ME...
<Saito|BeastOut> Windows NT!
<Saito|BeastOut> They combine to form
<Saito|BeastOut> WINDOWS CEMENT
<Saito|BeastOut> Hard as a rock and dumb as a brick
Comment: When admins get bored...
#49596
<Erika> fuckdammit
<shminux> hi to you too, Erika
<Erika> Hi shminux.
* Erika stabs things.
<shminux> 'sup?
<Erika> Oh, just a torrent I really wanted just died on me.
<shminux> ah... could be worse
<Erika> True.
<shminux> hmm, that being huggles, I could have said something more comforting
<cmantito> damn right
<shminux> well, say something... she is crying her eyes out here, cmantito
<cmantito> the torrent is in a better place#
<cmantito> it's in binary heaven now
<cmantito> jumping from seeder to seeder with ample bandwidth
<cmantito> with all the trackers it could EVER want.
Comment: mWtNet, #huggles
#300537
bobthekiller: i make your mom wine bitch
BadSpoon: that's nice of you