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#43840
<eldritch> today I stole wheat bran!
<eldritch> I marked my bag of whole wheat pasta with the number for regular pasta (whole wheat costs 2x as much :P)
<eldritch> and since the number is a diff between a 6 and a 9 if I get caught I can just say "oops how dyslexic of me"
<Fennec> haha
<eldritch> I checked my receipt after and sure enough the woman at the counter didnt notice and only charged me for spaghetti and not whole wheat spaghetti
<eldritch> next time I am going to see if I can sneak cashews out disguised as peanuts!
Comment: #angband, WorldIRC
#7526
<Cerebus> when i go on a rampage killing all women on the planet, i'll spare you
<yunicus> yer a dear heart
<yunicus> really
<yunicus> please leave me with a bunch of stinky men
#51285
<Retro> THE MIRACLE OF CELL DIVISION
<Retro> o
<Retro> 0
<Retro> 8
<Retro> oo
#2880
<Avi> is this divx ??????????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ???????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!! <-- thats how people are now'a'days
<Lord-Data> Avi: its always been that way
<Lord-Data> just faster cpu's means they type more bullshit
#2360
(Matt^^^) I got an A+ in home ec, cuz I helped marinate the teacher's fish, if you know what I mean
#30343
<pcchew> i was at the dentist today, and the assistant guy was using this ultraviolet light on my gums, teeth or what not and he says:
<pcchew> "never use this on your skin, it'll burn it right off"
<pcchew> and i'm thinking "if it'd burn my skin off, why the fuck are you using on my gums you douche"
<r0nc0> lmao
Comment: i hate the dentist
#20494
TheTrazzster: listening to Ludacris is the musical equivalent of eating shit.
#7565
<rbgrn> I HAVE ONE GOD DAMN THING TO SAY
<rbgrn> The author put up $10,000 for anyone that could find any hole in qmail over the coarse of 2 years
<rbgrn> no one did.
<foop> because nobody cared
#691
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9720]: zirconium (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9722]: zoology (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9721]: zoo (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9723]: zoom (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9724]: zooplankton (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> WHOA SHIT
<mendel> someone tell that luser that dictionary attacks refer to the PASSWORD part.
<wankel> christ, 2000 lines back and he was only in w's :)
<wankel> mankind:~ % grep LOGIN FAILED /var/log/messages | wc -l
<wankel> 8923
#309325
< CoJaBo> Well, found the Gmail April Fools prank- they now force you to use that stupid new compost form >_>
< CoJaBo> compose*
< yano> hah
< CoJaBo> ..actually, yeh, I'm calling it the Compost Form from now on ==DDD
#298781
<jasabella> i been using my coco chanel perfume lol
<jimster> o, fancy
<jasabella> ya, i got it for free anyways and i've barely used it
<jasabella> might as well use it rather than let it evaporate away
<FOXX> Actually, the ONLY way to use perfume is to let it evaporate away.
#26314
<sit`> one of my female coworkers remarked about how i was cutting up my apple with great care so i said "you have to treat it like a woman, cut it in thin slices"
<sit`> didn't go over to well for some reason
#44065
<sirveaux> so here is my take on just one aspect of intarweb politics: AOLers
<sirveaux> (AOLer) The other day, a I and a chum of mine were in the middle of an intellectual debate pertaining to the German spelling reform of 1996 and its ramifications when--
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer) omg dude r u liek an AOHELLER?/
<sirveaux> (AOLer) Why, yes I am, and--
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer) omg lolollol
<sirveaux> AOLer was kicked by nonAOLer (leik omg aohel si 4 faggerts)
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer2) rofflekopter
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer) lest go fap to screnns of linix
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer2) well lemme grab sum lube, wud u
#51015
Nail: my chemistry teacher has bad grammar
Traceur: how so
Nail: princiPAL laws of quantum numbers
Traceur: he put principle?
Nail: no
Nail: put principal
Traceur: do yuo know the difference between those two wordS?
Nail: yeah, principal is like the school administrator
Nail: because he's your pal
Traceur: 'principal' also means 'main'
Traceur: a 'principle' is a concept
Traceur: your principal failure comes from not understanding the principles of grammar.
Nail: fuck you.
#64584
<Sabator> ATi name their cards using a dartboard with all the letters of the alphabet on it
<Sabator> unfortunately 80% of the board is the letter X
#46370
<megaBBq> one time my friends and i were camping in the mountains, one night i went to bed and i woke up at about noon the next day
<megaBBq> i sit up and open my eyes, and i'm staring point blank at this mountain goat
<megaBBq> having been shit drunk the night before, it was a very odd few moments trying to figure out how the goat got in my tent
#243537
<smxsy> i wonder if alien races show off to each other by seeing who's got the biggest prime number
#294943
<freyja> lmao a friend of mine sent me a link to a discussion on an icelandic forum for women
<freyja> this one is talking about her msn buddy, who said he just met Izzy Stradlin and Steven Adler (whoever they are), and wanted to show her on webcam the merchandise he got autographed and stuff
<edkletz> They were in Guns'N'Roses
<freyja> so she gets really excited, wants to see it, accepts the webcam, and there he sits naked with a huge boner and no souvenirs
<edkletz> "Surprise!"
<freyja> yeah surprise lol
<edkletz> Hey, wanna see my webcam?
<freyja> NO
#7141
<Naivete> god, this shit is so much more efficient than windows
<Naivete> linux kernel=1 file
<Naivete> windows kernel=2/3 of your total ram, NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF THAT RAM THERE IS.
#30049
<Lepper> bob would you have sex with your mom if she were hot?
<LkTrout1> Lepper's family tree is a straight line.
#6833
* Logan learns how to say no to requests of programming assistance.
<loop> uh oh
<loop> that sounds bad for everybody like me
#6922
<piman> RVD: Whereas the amount of people watching wrestling grows, oddly enough, at the same rate as the people who are 3rd generation welfare recipients.
#203730
<jasabella> $_ =~ tr/y/j/;
* parser (~HELL@91.186.243.253) Quit (ircd.arcti.ca efnet.teleglobe.net)
* Kraln (~quassel@38.100.42.251) Quit (ircd.arcti.ca efnet.teleglobe.net)
* laamaelai (hegis@xen.ihme.org) Quit (ircd.arcti.ca efnet.teleglobe.net)
* Yuyo (~suck@205.211.195.24) Quit (ircd.arcti.ca efnet.teleglobe.net)
<jasabella> did i do that?
<einride> no
* einride (~erin@83.233.196.14) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<jasabella> wrong answer bitch
#2550
<limited7> i have for(n = 1; n < 99; n = n /2) why is it loopin forever?
#66375
<Jodie>: But dident you say Sydney was hot?
<Adam>: Yeah, doesent mean i would sleep with her
<Adam>: ...
<Adam>: Actually, it does, but it doesent mean i WANT to sleep with her