Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#12112
<zfact0r> I was playing Monopoly last night when I was drunk and I paid a chick 500 bucks in Monopoly Money for a blowjob.
#305793
<jenni> i should apparently empty my sofa more often
<jenni> i found a laptop i didn't remember i owned
#30649
<@AfroServ> ?back
<+eggbot> AfroServ is back from - TAKING A MAJOR SHIT - after 4days 23hrs 3mins 25secs
<+Chronic> lol thats one huge shit you had afro
<@AfroServ> i fell asleep on the can
<@AfroServ> the smell of it kept me knocked out for days
#14399
<radii> i'm unRARing, listening to an MP3, AOLing, useing FlashFXP, Serv-U, AIM, mIRC and going to that wepage
<baloo_> aoling = molesting 13 year-old girls online?
<pagan> baloo: no it means your messaging them to come over and get molested
<radii> yeah, duh!
#8789
<Stain> when i was 8 i still thought girls were the enemy. Now, 12 years later, i'm fucking one.
<HailBrak> stain: an 8 year old girl?
<Idioteq> WITH A KNIFE
#29814
<Vex> Anyway, I'm off todo some meditation
<NSG> how do you meditate, and stay so evil?
<Vex> I became a buddhist on the weekend. Got rid of my evil side
<Vex> It's all gone. I'm no longer...alll...that...evil!
* _Mist_ craves a rootserv force-nick-change command right now
<_Mist_> /msg rootserv chgnick Vex Evil
* Vex clears his conscience
-NickServ- Nickname evil has been dropped.
* Vex feels more enlightened
* Vex eats some chocolate cake
#12227
<@RuneCaster> hitting a 9 year old on a crosswalk is probably bad for your driving record though
<@RuneCaster> all I remember was I was on my way to the arcade to play TMNT
<@RuneCaster> and suddenly it was sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground pain
#52517
23:02:28 <@murderdeathkiller> is there something wrong with a girl who doesn't shave?
23:02:33 < Rutger> No, there isn't
23:02:40 < Patrick``> it's perfectly natural.
23:02:46 <@murderdeathkiller> that's curious. in europe it's like, no, that's cool
23:02:57 <@murderdeathkiller> in america it's like "I WANT YOU TO BE BALD LIKE AN EIGHT YEAR OL DOWN THERE BABY"
23:03:23 < Patrick``> I'd rather have wispy hair than stubble
23:03:34 < Patrick``> it's like "this vagina has the texture of rambo's chin"
#297171
<bigman> dude, i just drew a bunch of cocks all over my textbook
<bigman> like whenever someone is standing, there would be a penis there in front of their face
<razor> isn't that kinda gay...
<bigman> only if they're male
<razor> no, i mean the fact that you enjoy drawing penises
<razor> you're like the guy from superbad who couldn't stop drawing dicks
<razor> and you think you're the next best thing because you're drawing them in peoples' faces?
<bigman> dude, that's low
<bigman> i'm gonna take our old yearbook and draw a big schlong where your mouth is
<razor> ...
#9008
<mrfy> hmm. my title choice was questioned
<pembroke> what title did you ask for?
<mrfy> software zymurgist
<mrfy> "I was curious, since 'zymurgist' usually has to do with the chemical fermentation process in the production of wine. Perhaps that's a term also used in software, and I apologize for having second guessed this if that is the case."
#3246
<Ophidian> why does being a programmer mean 13 hours a day and no social life? i dont understand
#8583
<sugar> if superman and batman got into a fight, who would win?
<muffins> well, superman wears his undies on the outside...batman wears his on his head
<muffins> tough call
#309372
<Killswitch> 1. Go to 3 random YouTube videos
<Killswitch> 2. Write "I'm pretty sure this is trance, not house."
<Killswitch> 3. Wait for a war to start.
<_tca> oh hey look another american trying to start wars for no reason
#266625
kwenda: this lady who works here is so disgusting
kwenda: fat and ugly
kwenda: she rubbed my hair in the middle of a meeting
kwenda: i stood up and left the meeting without saying anything
kwenda: went to supercuts and got a shampoo and a haircut
kwenda: walked back into the meeting and sat down
#50646
Julius: dude so my sis knows a girl right
Julius: an this girl
Julius: used mayo as a sexual lube one night
Julius: so
Julius: next couple of days
Julius: she gets unexplained orgasms
Julius: so she goes to the doctor
Julius: and
Julius: boom
Julius: maggots
Julius: a la vagina
Comment: ... out of KY? Check the fridge...
#1868
<mD5> please no-one send me that stuff about sex in my aol mailbox
<flukz> i had to turn off my computer cuz all the porn kept popping up
<Mattress> mD5, what's your e-mail? I'll remove you from the list
<mD5> mD5@aol.com
<mD5> thank you for removing me from the list
#53935
helf: rofl
helf: apples closing stock price today was 80.86
helf: LOL
JonathanThompson: Now *that's* irony of the finest kind :)
Comment: today they announced the new x86 macs.
#310724
<ceren> actually it's more like when a cat eats tinsel
<ceren> and you have to pull out lumps of hardened turds from the cat's ass
<ceren> that's what removing technical debt is like
#190588
(Sweet^Angel) hi
(Sweet^Angel) im banned
(Sweet^Angel) from some channel
(Sweet^Angel) by ip
(Sweet^Angel) what to do to come back?
(Sweet^Angel) ???????????????????????????
(Sweet^Angel) ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
(phlux) do you remember the nickname of the person that banned you?
(Sweet^Angel) never
(phlux) type /quit theirnick to make them quit IRC. Then you will be let back in.
(Sweet^Angel) #Dubai unable to join channel (address is banned)
<-- Sweet^Angel has quit (Quit: theirnick to make them quit IRC. Then you will be let back in)
#214202
<Lightning> my mom and dad put a pw on all my games and stuff except for irc
<Shrink> You could always try and brute force it
<Lightning> i'm not gonna hit a couple of elderly people!!
#25658
<McMoo> http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030617/ap_on_hi_te/downloading_music
<McMoo> thanks, utah
<McMoo> "I'm interested," Hatch interrupted. He said damaging someone's computer "may be the only way you can teach somebody about copyrights."
<t|to> ;[
<t|to> somebody find out his IP
#33906
<RandomSpork> know what's bad
<RandomSpork> I can cause my nose to bleed as if by will
<CyberZ74> Why, do you imagine big breasts?
<RandomSpork> no. want to know how I do it?
<CyberZ74> Nah.
<RandomSpork> first I strtch out my face in a psuedo yawn
<RandomSpork> then I blow a quick puff of air out my nose, like so....aww shit
* RandomSpork is now known as RS||BRB
<Specs> haha
<CyberZ74> ...
* RS||BRB is now known as RandomSpork
<RandomSpork> that was so NOT funny Specs
Comment: irc.esper.net #rotfw
#5412
<FireMoth> Tat: what were your grades like in the first semester?
<tatsumi\zzz\> Like, low.
<tatsumi\zzz\> I suppose the fact that I told my English teacher I had an erection one time didn't help.
<Ear> Yeah. You forgot to raise your hand.
#31889
<rpop> wtf happened to the penguin game
<rpop> "Sorry, this is an unofficial link." :(
<ShyK> penguin game?
<DEATH> it was shut down because of GPL violation
<DEATH> games that include penguins must open their source
<DEATH> they got sued because they didnt
#424
<Relevant> get oral_sex_training_video.mpg
<Relevant> Oops wrong window.