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#279371
<samsim> The human penis may have 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec bandwidth but you get hell of packet loss
#18421
<humpy> "I was in #paintball on the enterthegame network. Everyone around me screaming in horror at the llamas. It was shrilling, like the kind of shrills you get washing your parents underwear, the kind of shrills that no man should ever hear. This was my hell."
<Fryth> i think your washing machine is b0rked
#6771
* Fox-20 is down with gcc (yeah you know me)
#294875
<Pyro> I turn on GTA IV
<Pyro> steal a police cruiser
<Pyro> and sit around and watch for traffic violations
<Pyro> then I pull them over
<Pyro> and shoot them in the face
<Chroder> i think that's the modern version of pulling-legs-off-frogs
<Chroder> you're gonna be a serial killer
#50686
<lude> do you type things just to see your nick scroll up the screen?
#18202
<GrandTheftNintendo> wtf is an oligarchy
<confusedd> a cross between a monopoly and an orge
#297468
<jaska_> A scientist wants to reduce my body temperature to minus 273 degrees Celsius
<jaska_> My wife says it'll kill me, but I think I'll be 0K
#294961
[jenna] *hsus: hey i got a question
Rask: yes
[jenna] *hsus: i thought hawaii was like, warm? and alaska was like cold? so how is that since they're right beside each other?
Rask: is this a real question
[jenna] *hsus: yeah, why?
[jenna] *hsus: ive always wondered that.
Rask: like are you being serious
[jenna] *hsus: like sarah palin was always like ohh alaska is cold i shoot moose and i can see russia...
[jenna] *hsus: but then hawaii is all like warm and shit with little chubby chicks belly dancing.
Rask: worldmap
[jenna] *hsus: so i was like, they're so close together, how is the... uhm, climate or w/e so different?
Rask: see where hawaii is?
Rask: see that part off canada that says USA?
Rask: thats alaska.
Rask: its like, six thousand miles away from here
[jenna] *hsus: oh god.
[jenna] *hsus: this is like that time i thought new england was like a... place beside england... kinda like new mexico and mexico... but new england is really a bunch of states.
[jenna] *hsus: everytime they're on a map they're right beside eachother though
Rask: you should probably spend awhile staring at this map
[jenna] *hsus: That bitch is lying ,you cant see russia from alaska, not possible.
[jenna] *hsus: unless it wraps around or something?
Rask: are you saying the world is flat
[jenna] *hsus: wait so do you like have the same president we do?
[jenna] *hsus: no. i mean i think its round.
Rask: this is a joke right
[jenna] *hsus: dude. i quit school.
[jenna] *hsus: wtf do you think
Rask: in 2nd grade?
[jenna] *hsus: uhhh, we dont have map studying in school anymoree
Rask: the world is round yes
#15769
<jor> NE SXE/F W/P N A/S/L PM ME PLZ IF U R D 1 2 C 4 A BJ KTHX
#52980
<Waffle> son of a bitch
<Waffle> this is not chapstick
<Waffle> this is a glue stick
<Waffle> fuck
Comment: #nodewar
#13947
<KidDynamite> my tribes2 updater is out of date and i need to update my updater
#27099
<@Khel> haha, I just went upstairs, got a plate out of the cupboard, got pizza out of the fridge, then left the pizza on the bench and microwaved an empty plate for 2 minutes
<@Khel> gg me
<@tung> haha you suck
<Lithios> hahahaha
<@tung> at least you know the plate is clean now
<thrax> lol thats nothing, unwrapped a mars bar, and threw it in the bin and tryed to eat the wrapper.
<Parag0n> ROFL !!!!
#294708
<@|silicon> awesome customer of the day
<@|silicon> got a T1 point-to-point from us
<@|silicon> which you know would require 2 T1 routers
<@|silicon> so he goes to Fry's and gets two linksys 54gs
<@|silicon> no less than 3 people had to explain to him
<@|silicon> that will not work
<@|silicon> THEY ARE ROUTERS WHY NOT?!
<@|silicon> incredible irrational anger
<@|silicon> wow
<@|silicon> he seriously called SBC
<@|silicon> and they told him it would not work
<@|silicon> then he believed us
Comment: #geekissues EFNet
#135637
Commander_598: Heath Ledger dead.
Kroko: ...what
Kroko: are you serious
Commander_598: Assuming CNN Headline News isn't just making things up.
Latis: No, he's dead.
Kroko: holy crap he is
Baconfish: have they finished making batman yet?
Kroko: yes
Kroko: I think
happydud: imdb lists Batman as in post-production
Baconfish: phew
Latis: awesome. We're safe guys.
#39860
[23:03] <@tH> my friend's buying an ethernet switch from dell
[23:03] <%spazizoner> WHAT
[23:03] <@Knifa> LOL
[23:03] <@tH> and in the online checkout
[23:03] <@ReadMe> stop them, quick
[23:03] <@tH> it asks you
[23:03] <@tH> Q4. Will the product(s) be used in connection with weapons of mass
[23:03] <@tH> destruction, i.e. nuclear applications, missile technology, or
[23:03] <@tH> chemical or biological weapons purposes?
Comment: We told him to tell him to awnser yes... not sure if he did it tho
#16734
ForeverDamnation: Ben wants to chew on some penis.
blx001: you mean snickers
ForeverDamnation: No, I believe I mean penis.
blx001: no you mean snikers
SmiLex05: is that was the gay communty calls it now
#15614
<GaRlic> how you like my new name?
<drunkers> it stinks
#20844
<A-C> This is great...
<A-C> MS Spellchecker just told me to hyphenate mother-fucker.
#9494
<normaliamnot> u ppl here about this building, i think it called, trade center, or big trade center or something?
<normaliamnot> it broken
#8789
<Stain> when i was 8 i still thought girls were the enemy. Now, 12 years later, i'm fucking one.
<HailBrak> stain: an 8 year old girl?
<Idioteq> WITH A KNIFE
#289
<rouge> you vegetarian?
<AlmtyBob> yah
<rouge> i'm sorry. :/
#62116
<@Pie> unemployment rocks
<@Commander> you got fired?
<@Pie> long story
<@Commander> well, you're not going anywhere
#34916
<Rokkr> humor's a good thing
<Rokkr> i always said if you're an ugly guy and you want to get laid you have 2 choices..play an instrument or make women laugh
<tack> or rape them
<Rokkr> that's not laid tack, that's assault =p
<tack> hey, you do things your way, i do things mine
#42176
<Xdude> what's the best spyware elimiator?
<Vespucci> del *.* /r
<Xdude> thanks
*** Xdude (X@.com) quit StarLink.Org : no route to host
<Vespucci> Actually, spybot search and destroy.
*** Xdude (X@.com) joined #stars!
<Vespucci> Oh fuck.
<Summoner> heheh
<Xdude> heh
<Xdude> fooled ya
<Vespucci> Got me.
<Vespucci> Heart rate and everything.
Comment: #stars! on Starlink
#52824
<Nick> i love it when conservative friends of mine try to debate me
<Nick> (Nick) i will counterspell any and all "intelligent design" theories out there
<Nick> (Nick) are you ready?
<Nick> (Nick) MALES HAVE NIPPLES.
<Nick> (Nick) i win =(