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#191029
<AshViper> OMFG
<AshViper> one of my HDDs had a birthday 21 days ago
<AshViper> and i totally forgot
<AshViper> S.M.A.R.T. needs a birthday reminder imo
#59310
<@mr_white> t0ks roll teh !dice, if you get 1-5 you get kicked
<t0ks> if i get 6 i stay?
<@mr_white> no for 6 you get another turn
#53719
<ducklord> my finest moment in the army was due to mc hammer
<ducklord> I was on patrol
<ducklord> and we met some other soldiers
<ducklord> and we were chatting, talking about army stuff
<ducklord> and I yelled out, "hammertime", did my dance, then said "moonwalk" and did a retarded moonwalk around a corner
<ducklord> those guys never talked to me again
<@rp> Hahah.
<ducklord> serves them well for trying to make meaningful conversation
#311640
<whitequark> i used to work with a guy
<whitequark> who was working on ruby on rails website
<whitequark> in dominican republic
<whitequark> and he was doing it exclusively on a mixture of cocaine and amphetamine
<whitequark> and i had to refactor his code
<whitequark> i literally asked my coworkers to give me an ice pick and an one way ticket to dominican republic as a new year gift
<whitequark> unfortunately they refused
#297836
B9|work: Nothing inanimate is so important that it can't be left behind because you don't feel like making another trip.
***girasquid doesn't own many animate things
***B9|work has 2 kids and a dog. They are very animated. I can't leave them behind. It's not legal. :D
***girasquid has a roomba
B9|work: oooh
#92689
<Therrol> I just send something to robyn that I did not mean to
<Allison> well depending on what it is it may not matter
<Allison> or it really could result in a mess..
<Therrol> I told her I was going to kill her and have sex with her eyesockets
<Allison> every time that goes through my head it just gets worse
#46666
< tittyfuckosaurus> I love kidneys
< tittyfuckosaurus> not much else though, not liver or tripe or brains
< tittyfuckosaurus> or tongue
< tittyfuckosaurus> well, I like tongue, but only if it's applied to my penis
< bazzy> i'm the same with liver
#29666
<@kurteh> think i just downloaded a virus
<@kurteh> ;x
<@kurteh> need to check0r
<@kurteh> but i dont have virus scannor
<@kurteh> link me !
<@FrozenFood> www.goatse.cx/loopback.jpg
<@FrozenFood> omg, i typed that out..
<@FrozenFood> i know it off by heart
<@FrozenFood> :(
#415
<gloone> thinking that noone is here since it's saturday
<gloone> so that i can kill him with a screwdriver.
<gloone> or a stapler
<gloone> that's what i have here.
#6552
* dagbrown *FINALLY* got licenses for his fucking Sun development environments.
<dagbrown> Sun's licensing department must have the slogan "WE HATE YOU AND WANT YOU TO DIE"
#4575
<Glex25> Space Left On [ C: 5.29/8.87 GB. D: 9.91/19.73 GB. E: 52.14/153.38 GB. Total: 67.34/181.98 GB ] .
<Scofco> dear lord
<phaded> holy good god
<phaded> how do you sleep at night?!
#20959
<Nordling> Yes, the climax will be a Neo/Smith DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION dance off.
#33984
<Wooben> Girls are all afraid of me too :(
<Wooben> I did go out with this one girl
<Wooben> but she was really scary
<Wooben> I decided i was scared
<Wooben> So she called me and i told her she was really ugly
<Wooben> so that was the end of that
#3043
<Jumper> there's an old saying in this part of ze world: you're not a real geek until you've scored sex through IRC
<Jumper> irl sex, that is
<smiler> Jumper: We figured =)
<smiler> Jumper: can you even say you scored if you get cybersex?
<smiler> Jumper: That would be a REAL geek.
<Jumper> smiler: that would just be a looser
#8673
<X-man> i had a comp sci teacher that named her dog scsi
<X-man> i felt bad for it
#296831
<Paradox> apparently some douchebag went to harrass the gay club on campus
<Paradox> and mooned them. I don't think that guy thought things through.
#296968
<rmrfResume> So let me get this straight.
<rmrfResume> You built a linux system from scratch using hardened GCC
<rmrfResume> secured the whole system with RSBAC
<rmrfResume> Developed private chroots for each and every service ran on it
<rmrfResume> which include an http, ftp, smtp, pop3, imap, irc, and dyndns server
<rmrfResume> WITH mail filtering and dynamic mysql databases for each service
<rmrfResume> with the mysql daemon in its own chroot
<rmrfResume> then did same system networking for the whole lot
<rmrfResume> and had everything running in a single night?
<Pryoidain> I do cocaine.
<cjk> oh
<asaph[Away]> WOW
<rmrfResume> suddenly it all makes sense.
#70207
<LycoLoco> My son has a gameboy advance, and he blows on the cartidges when they don't work. The funny thing, is that this was not taught to him. He just did it on instinct, which leads me to believe that this behavior is inherited not learned. It seems that I've blown into so many nintendo cartridges, that it has changed my DNA...
#46427
watchcorytwostep: hey do you know the harry potter spoiler?
DvngMnky: Nope, sorry.
watchcorytwostep: no thats good. im not talking to anyone who does. my friend warned me, i've managed to avoid it for 4 days now.
DvngMnky: SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE
watchcorytwostep signed off at 11:59:36 PM.
#40400
<Entro-P> sometimes karma comes back *way* too fast, i heard the wind howling outside and the rain whipping against my window, then heard a clatter down the street and someone shouting as they chsed whatever they'd dropped ... i laughed to myself, thinking haha it sure is windy ... then i remembered i still had laundry hanging on the line :(
Comment: irc.freenode.net #nethack
#280368
greggacam|Farming: What's "user intelligence too low" mean?
#17091
<Cyberllam> today has been about nothing but good news
<Cyberllam> earlier i found out that I was pregnant with twins
<juntog> are they mine?
<HaLLowCat> they better not be
<Cyberllam> no, but they can be, for the low, low price of 3 low payments of 29.95 each
#15353
<Hvatti> MY CAPS-LOCK IS ON AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT OFF.. CAN ANYONE HELP ME???
<[DoD]Xiao> typ capslock button :P
<aegis> Hvatti: hold down shift while writing instead...^^
<Hvatti> hey that shift-thing works thx!!!
<Hvatti> but it*s pretty difficult to write while holding a shift:::
<Lilly-> omg
<Lilly-> Hvatti find "caps lock" key and press it once
<Lilly-> number 3 from bottom left
<Hvatti> where can i find it
<Tiger> hehe :D
<aegis> at the left of your keyboard
<Hvatti> ok thanx::
<Hvatti> YES IT WORKED!!!
<Lilly-> aamm
<aegis> apparently it didn't
<Lilly-> lol
<Hvatti> CAN I NOW RELEASE THE SHIFT?
<aegis> yes
<aegis> you have to release the shift.
<Lilly-> omg how sweet !!
<Hvatti> like this?
* Lilly- faints
<aegis> yep, just like that
#34140
<@FarkStatsBot> think you need to reboot
<star_angel> i did that already
<star_angel> so bot
<@FarkStatsBot> did you restart the computer?
<star_angel> yeah
<@FarkStatsBot> still didn't fix it?
<star_angel> and when i did then knux was lordcrank
<@FarkStatsBot> you might have a virus
<star_angel> no i have a school pc i cant get viruses... but thanks
#61850
<mr_flea> that and i think i tried to swallow something way too large for my throat when i was attempting to eat a fajita at a rate it was not designed to be eaten >.>
<mr_flea> thank god i don't have to get some sort of operation
* mr_flea painfully drinks more dr. pepper
<Ushanka> Flea, you might not take this really seriously, but I really hope you don't die
<Ushanka> It would suck to have "Cause of death: Fajitas" written on your death certificate