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#4143
<uneasier> would it be out of line if i were to request that my testes be softly nestled within your food receptacle?
<Jan__> mmm braized testicle
<Jan__> with a nice bottle of chianti
<Jan__> fthfthfthfthfthfthfth!
* uneasier runs away
#48311
<Fufie> besides, I mostly shoot homeless ;)
Comment: fufie is a phographer...
#16267
<MadHack-> i've developed a bad habit of making a hand motion when i fart
<MadHack-> like i'm pulling a big lever or something
<mrwhite> hahahahhaha
<MadHack-> and i squeeze my face like it takes effort, too
<mrwhite> you'll win the jackpot one day and shit your pants
<MadHack-> and if i'm standing, lift my leg
<MadHack-> farting's really turned into a full-body experience here
#304514
<@nukespoon> okay so a bit of a crisis
<@nukespoon> the project folder for this program is called "cuntbollocks"
<@nukespoon> i have to upload this in 15 minutes
<@nukespoon> and i don't know how to rename it without fucking shit up
#1838
<Amanda`> I'm not taking a shower today.
<Amanda`> bastards in class won't know what hit them.
<Guilty> At least take a dip in the swimmin' hole
#4871
<reuben> my dad claims that he got his first piece of ass from a cow.
<reuben> i had a great upbringing
#55633
<@DarkElf> hell of a way to spend valentines day, watching a girl having an orgasm while learning to ride a horse (no, its not farm erotica) and doing statistics
<@DarkElf> can you tell i need a girlfriend
<@momo_the_terrible> that's a neat trick
<@momo_the_terrible> simultaneously watching a girl have an orgasm and studying stats
<@momo_the_terrible> wish I had that talent back in school :)
<@DarkElf> multitasking is great nowadays
Comment: irc.bunker7.net
#5333
<Ophe|ia`> omg I will NEVER shit that fast again.....my anus is burning *sitting down carefully*
#26292
*IgnusDei learned that no matter how bad things are, it will never be quite as bad as the time he masturbated in the adult secton of the video store...which of course was under vidcam surveillance
<IgnusDei> ZING!
<m|tutorial> if i didnt like the current topic
<m|tutorial> that would be there right now
<DrFurious> it could be worse
<DrFurious> you could have masturbated in the gay adult section of the video store
#294875
<Pyro> I turn on GTA IV
<Pyro> steal a police cruiser
<Pyro> and sit around and watch for traffic violations
<Pyro> then I pull them over
<Pyro> and shoot them in the face
<Chroder> i think that's the modern version of pulling-legs-off-frogs
<Chroder> you're gonna be a serial killer
#5020
<iban> when i was your age all i had was a mac, and photoshop
<iban> if i wanted an online gf i had to draw her
#40420
<Pokey> dude got fired from his job missing one day of work
<Pokey> ONE
<Pokey> in which he tried to get someone to cover for him
<Pokey> his sister was having a baby
<Pokey> but yet
<Pokey> they fired him
<bl4kwid0w> oO that's pretty harsh
<Pokey> well, to be fair, he lied about his sister having a baby so he could enjoy some alcohol with me
<Pokey> but still
<Pokey> they dont know that
#17355
<Stryker> i dunno, RPGs are pretty cool
<bounty> i'm a level 10 mage in planescape
<Stryker> yeah mages are cool at higher levels
<Sonicstorm> i'd level up in asskicking
#13487
<Zeratul-SK> Cello, I'm tired of you in the top of the users list. :P
<Cellosoft> zer, I'm tired of you on the User list
#5427
<doctorb> goth clubs should serve coffee. ice cold coffee. with nails and broken glass. and call then 'depresso's
#15677
<ktmguy> Ray from Pac Bell: "Yeah, I can't get this line up."
<ktmguy> Voice in Background at Pac Bell: "Ray, are you sure we're supposed to
be hearing your personal problems?"
#39765
<bball> it's for single computer geeks who live in their mom's basement eating hotpockets and Mountain Dew while whacking off to video games
* Lost buys it
#6612
<@meiso> ftp: 80921107 bytes received in 87.26Seconds 927.40Kbytes/sec.
<@meiso> man this modem turbo booster really helps
#41056
<@Hatman> Well that was fun
<@Hatman> At dinner, we usually watch tv, and as usual I am mesmerised by it..
<@Hatman> Well, I was trying to scoop some sauce out of a bowl with my knife...actually that was after I was trying to eat my food with two knifes, wondering why the fuck it wasn't working without realising..
<@Hatman> Anyways, I'm trying to scoop some sauce out of this bowl while watching tv...
<@Hatman> So my Dad goes 'Constantin, why don't you just use that spoon in front of you'...
<@Hatman> ..just when he said that a ad for Matrix, which is going to be shown tomorrow, came on, and I just said "there is no spoon"
<@Hatman> ..and he get's all pissed of and goes "what the fuck are you talking you moron, it's right in front of you"
<@Hatman> ..I'm done.
#11181
<bean2edu>Try seeding the RNG with the current system time, that should help somewhat
<kram>You do know that the numbers generated are still pseudo-random, and not true RNs. In fact there is no way to generate true random numbers.
<bean2edu>Obviously you've never had your wife balance the checkbook.
#24959
* Stan casts Kill on InfoServ.
<Stan> *422 damage*
* Stan has quit IRC (valinor.sorcery.net kechara.sorcery.net)
* Kara has quit IRC (valinor.sorcery.net kechara.sorcery.net)
<A-C> Good kill
#37991
<VooDoo-chan> im sitting at home watching TV with my girlfriend, Amanda, last night... her daughter is sitting on the floor in front of us eating Jell-O... she asks me "Sean, what is Jell-O?" i look over at Amanda and she looks at me waiting for me to answer her daughter... i turn back to Tesley and tell her "Well, honey, Jell-O is made from Crushed Unicorns"...
<VooDoo-chan> whole lot of crying happened after that
#33363
< solerad> oh man
< solerad> my adopted brother
< solerad> had a wet dream that involved my mother :/
< solerad> i wouldn't have known except that
< Supacabra> yikes
< solerad> he told his ENTIRE SCHOOL
< Supacabra> double yikes
#20602
#closed-minded :@mcc
*** Mode change "+b *!*@* " on #closed-minded by mcc
*** mcc has set the topic on #closed-minded to Come on in for intelligent and interesting discussion of current events.
#3584
MrProgrmmr: I want to encode my sperms DNA with the DeCSS code, that way when I jack off, I'd be breaking the law