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#170
[@smcn] like #bearcave. you wouldn't expect it to be a gay channel. YOU WOULD EXPECT IT TO BE A CHANNEL ABOUT BEARS WOULDN'T YOU
#21265
<Jotarou> Man I masturbate in the shower so much, I'm surprised a baby hasn't crawled out of the bathdrain
#299627
<altoid> i remember once talking to someone at the helpdesk at ucsd
<altoid> i mentioned i was having trouble getting GNOME to work on Gentoo (never did solve the problem)
<altoid> (used KDE the entire time instead, out of laziness)
<altoid> and he was like "oh, did you lose your windows CDs or something?
#15550
<\\broken\> eye kant teyep
<JackArse> sure you can
<JackArse> you just can't spell
#6484
<luna> okay okay, so it *probably* isn't going to snow, but i can
<luna> imagine it!
<roland> well, if we're imagining, i can imagine buxom women will fall
<roland> from the sky like sexy hailstones.
#2973
<Xta-C> i really need a gf
<Xta-C> ROFL
<Xta-C> gf3 even
<Xta-C> but yeah, a gf would be nice
#43711
<jwh> My ex gf once told me that girls don't poop
<jwh> I told her she was full of shit.
#33707
<mkat> :o
<mkat> OMFG
<mkat> WILL THE PEOPLE UPSTAIRS PLEASE EITHER STOP HAVING SEX OR INVITE PLZ
#48657
<elrond2> 24 hour fitness is open 24 hours a day
<emitmai> at 3am they have a sign that says 'run around the block'
<emitmai> behind their closed gates
#8707
<fraggle> get in trouble?
<Afterglow> fraggle: getting in trouble because you look like elton john, of course
<fraggle> yeah they're always disappointed when they find i cant play candle in the wind
<fraggle> "so.. we measure the voltage across.... wait is that elton john back there? can you play us a song?"
#4882
<l0wkey> i am in a jam...it is my old roommates 21st birthday tonight, no school tomorrow, a few movies i want to see, Simpsons and X-Files...what to do?
<l0wkey> I KNOW...STAY ON IRC
#307117
<Q-Stone> woot now I have 2.5 GB of space on Dropbox!
* BadMojo starts downloading Q-Stone's stuff from Dropbox. Man, nothing but horse porn.
<Q-Stone> Encrypted horse porn!
<BadMojo> If it was encrypted, how would I know what it is?
<Q-Stone> By the file name: horseporn12.enc
<Switchbreak> badmojo knows an encrypted horse when he sees one
<Switchbreak> just has to glance at the data
<Q-Stone> He can tell from the bits
<BadMojo> It's like the matrix.
<Q-Stone> He doesn't even see the code anymore, just Arabian, Clydesdale, Quarter
Comment: #gwj on quakenet
#8448
<MMouse> finding me a CIO or CTO position is harder
<undrewb> heh
<jamesn> *laugh*
<jamesn> your going for upper management jobs?
<MMouse> of course ;)
<jamesn> you cant even get a bill paid on time:)
<MMouse> that actually makes me more suited for upper management
#34532
<ron_frown> oh god... this guy comes in and talks to my boss about why his phone doesnt ring loud
<ron_frown> so my boss opens it up and ends up frying the mobo
<ron_frown> I throw a new mobo in there and it rings the same volume
<ron_frown> ends up the dipshit had a sticker over his ringer and it severly muted it
<ron_frown> something that could have been a 5second fix
<ron_frown> took a day, and cost him a mobo which was like 30
Comment: #php
#302377
<Umm> Sorry, had to eject a stoner from the house
<Umm> Fuckhead managed to bust a door, though
<Navier> ...?
<Umm> Claimed to be "fixing" a door that was broken into being closed
<Umm> He managed to break it into being open
<Einar> why was there a stoner IN your house?
<Umm> I don't know
<Einar> You should call the police
<Einar> Real life is not video games. Having strange people wander in, dig through your stuff, and attempting to solve door-opening puzzles does not indicate they're saving the world.
Comment: nightstar.net
#51100
donchongo: i wonder what possesed some one to invent play-doh and silly putty
Wildfire: poop dries out to fast
donchongo: that really put a screeching halt to my thought process
#235
<noss> wank in a thunder storm, it will make you feel like Thor
#8405
<Prison_Shank_Blues> i found a fuckin tampax in a public pool
#14697
<kRadD3ViL> fUk1n n0n-31337 h4x0rz! t4lk l1k3 n00bZ!!!!
<evildewr> hey, i used to speek like that.. but it don't make you leet with women
<kRadD3ViL> WhY u s4y d4t n00b?
<evildewr> cuz my girlfriend dumped me for using numbers when we communicated
<kRadD3ViL> u h4d a g1rlfr13nd? fuk1ng 31337!!!!! g1rls s0und 1337!
#57705
<apeiron> Chewie[]: all four of my grandparents died because of cancer
<incarnadine> YOU HAD 4 GRANDPARENTS!??!
<incarnadine> er... wait
<incarnadine> nevermind
#27263
Feixeno356: blah blah can swim well blah blah blah, accuracy is good blah blah blah blah me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me :takes a breath: me me me me me oh me me me me I jack off to a picture of myself, me me me me me me me.
Dr SpaZZo: What the fuck?
Dr SpaZZo: You can swim?
#686
<Kacey> if I wsa president, I would change the "In God We Trust"
to "In Goats We Thrust"
#50233
<+|404notfound> I just got a great idea
<+|404notfound> you know when you're handing a mug of a hot beverage to somebody, you either hold the handle and let them get burned grabbing the mug, or burn yourself to let them grab the handle?
<+|404notfound> somebody should make a mug with two diametrically positioned handles
<+|404notfound> it'll be fucking awesome
<+|404notfound> you'll be able to hand out hot drinks with impunity
Comment: Gamesurge: #g4b2s
#8605
<Primal[Djedi]> rent: am i in rnd1...my wife wants to know NOW
<tiepilot> I told you Primal, you should fuck the wife inbetween rounds
#171
[+Vile] (smcn): just because you dress like them doesnt mean you are
[!smcn] m/sg Vile would you like to touch my breasts
[!smcn] oops