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#33098
<Bubbaprog> somebody told me simon cowel reminds them so much of me
<Bubbaprog> and i said why, because i am sophisticated and attractive
<Bubbaprog> and they said no
<Bubbaprog> because you're an asshole
#11764
<Megaglogue> u guyz come anytime pay me a visit
<Megaglogue> paris is cool during the summer
<Megaglogue> no french peeps around
#294673
(ail) DESCRIBE HER LABIA
(Iridium) Meaty
(ail) like a ham hock
(Iridium) Like the inglorious results of an apprentice butcher's first time with the saw.
(Char-) you have a way with words
#2341
<CoMBo> <Robbin> Jesse Jackson should be president
<Robbin> unlike you lusers, i have somewhere to be on friday night
<CoMBo> yeah popeyes
<_jube> shift starts 9
#65846
<Digital> Tampons are lame.
<Sephiroth> it's the string that's a little bizarre
<Digital> Why is the string bizarre ?
<Sephiroth> I half expect that if I pull on it, my girlfriend will wind up and say something
#80426
Zipper: wtf
Zipper: i'm too fuckin tired to be legally allowed to be awake
Zipper: i just pressed Windows+L to logoff
Zipper: and upon seeing the logon screen
Zipper: i typed my password to log back in.
Zipper: why?
Zipper: i have no fucking clue...
#25662
<GM-Bot> What country is directly north of the continental United States?
<Fekko> cnanda
<vperez> canad
<Niftoria> canadar
Comment: (While playing a stupid trivia game)
#9497
(@eliaz`medal): i have broken two of my erm
(@eliaz`medal): foot things
(@eliaz`medal): extensions
(@eliaz`medal): those little thigns on ur feet
(@eliaz`medal): 5 on each ::
(@eliaz`medal): :/
(@eliaz`medal): dunno name
(@Ched): toes?
#8965
*** gamingsloop0r is now known as sloop
<@sloop> parents
<@sloop> fs
<@sloop> when u leave home remember this important lesson
<@sloop> on a sunday
<@sloop> when ur not doing anything
<@sloop> phone them
<@sloop> or
<@sloop> they will phone u when ur busy
<@sloop> and expect a 1 hr conversation
<@ronin\dm> well it is fathers' day
<@sloop> oh shit
<@sloop> brb making a call
#12407
<Ixnorp[Regenerating]> I think I've found an excellent unit of size measurement. It's the 'I could kill you and hide your body in it' unit. People usually become very quiet after you say, "yea, I could kill you and 3 other people and hide the bodies in this"
#61068
Ryan: Whats a good lie to fill some hours in? I have a day with nothing. lol
Andrew: uh.. something with orcs?
Ryan: lol, that would be telling the truth.
Andrew: thats sad
Ryan: I was playing WoW
#308135
sammy: Okay..being a mod is like playing Sims because you have all this power...you create a world for your people...you try to make it safe...happy...you monitor it to stop problems...you check their needs and try to meet them...but no matter what you do, sooner or later people are going to stand around waving their arms and yelling illegibly about something you've done wrong.
<TheBeeSingsWithMalice> And then you start herding them into the pool and taking out the ladders...
#11264
<Saber> I had a full can of soda
<Saber> and I slipped
<Saber> and dropped it above my KB
<Saber> and I caught it
<Saber> but THOUGHT it was upside down
<Saber> so I inverted it
<Saber> and it turns out
<Saber> it was rightside up
#52087
<@ALGORYTHM> got my road tax
<@ALGORYTHM> some sikh guy and his gf in the post office hate me now
<@ALGORYTHM> they started off, very long queue btw
<@ALGORYTHM> talking about the hair on his back :/
<@ALGORYTHM> bleh and i had to stand there and listen
<@ALGORYTHM> then they started talking about lost and wondering who dies in series two
<@ALGORYTHM> so i told them and they're like wtf
<+McFly> lol
<@ALGORYTHM> i said, i didn't want to know about the hair on your back and you didn't want to know about the spoiler
<@ALGORYTHM> so i think we're even
Comment: still on season 1 in the uk
#138027
Ganon: That magnet in the finger idea sounded really awesome, minus the idea of getting some sort of poisoning from the rare-earth metals
Gayo: oh oh dude
Gayo: What if you were a woman and you had MAGNETIC BREAST IMPLANTS.
Katt: I guess that would make you really attractive
Ganon: ...
#300462
<nlogax> lol.. a guy here at work saw his position being advertised.. and got pissed off
<miketaylr> oops
<ben_alman> like an additional resource, or a replacement?
<nlogax> they haven't said.. he sent in an application :D
<nlogax> and said "if you want to know more i'm just 15m away!"
<ben_alman> he applied for his own job?
<nlogax> yes
#99640
<Fahl> I just clicked one those banner ads that offer to scan your computer and remove any porn you don't know about.
<Fahl> I turned on my virus/spyware blocker and off I went.
<IonCannon> And?
<Fahl> It completely missed my porn folder.
<Fahl> And my other 6 porn folders.
#34834
<gnome> I believe I convinced someone to ditch AOL, too
<gnome> while I was waiting for my mom to get out of her meeting some woman started asking me computer questions
<gnome> And then proceeded to ask me about school and if there's any sort of computer training because her daughter is interested
<gnome> She then went on to exlain that her daughter likes to IM people and things like that, and so she thought should could do something in the computer field
<gnome> My first thought on this was "I like to masturbate but that doesn't mean I could be a porn star"
#138416
<Lena> My mama taught me how to dance
<Lena> said if you can shake your ass right, guys will know what you're like in bed
<Lena> my mom is such a whore
<Lena> especially when she said all casually "Mija...have you ever had sex on a piano?" her voice is really thick with a spanish accent and I'm like "MAMA NO!" she goes "Good, dont, cause it's noisy"
<Lena> I just looked at her in disbelief
<Lena> and THEN!
<Lena> one time she says "Mija, I dont want you sleeping with every tom dick and harry, maybe every tom and dick but not ever harry"
#8866
<Rance> so... i'm driving to cedar rapids today
<Rance> and i'm feeling a little frisky...
<Rance> so i start cranking one off in the car
<Rance> and it's really kind of funny when you... achieve your objective, and you wind up laying on the horn... and it's blaring for like 1/4 mile
<Rance> so now the next time i hear someone going down the road with their horn going for no reason... i'll know
#2952
<nstylz> i want to make a site that the people run it and then just forget about it and watch the $ go in
<Deadbolt> sorry, we already have a slashdot
#300564
Alpha_Bling: You know what a masked booby bird is?
Alpha_Bling: from galapagos islands?
BadSpoon: probably similar to a bearded tit
#350
<chisoxiest> is it just me... or does eveyone think that quadrapelegics are greedy?
<chisoxiest> "i can't reach that"
<chisoxiest> "i'm not tall enough"
<chisoxiest> i mean c'mon now
#42992
[@WhipSmart]: for every story you hear about a dog saving someone's life, there are probably a million where the dog just sat there and watched them die
Comment: Quakenet #funchat
#16903
< Tilt-GOD> well i gotta go find some little kids to kidnap and take back to my hippie comune (this is the coolest part about being a hippie, we steal small children in the night and eat them)