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#105614
Dexi: i just realized something fucking stupid
Dexi: and that took a while
Dexi: during 2nd period today
Dexi: this is more than 12 hours ago
Dexi: I had a girl put her number in my phone
Dexi: and told her to let me know when she wants to do something
Dexi: ...
Dexi: dammit i'm dumb AND slow.
#301051
<Corey> Why is everyone in It's a Wonderful Life so stupid?
<Corey> Main character: Oh, I lost some money, got angry at my family and got hit by a guy. I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE.
<Corey> Clarence: I can show you how life was if you never existed.
<Corey> Main character: Why does nobody recognize me?!
<Corey> Clarence: Because in this reality, you don't exist.
<Corey> Main character: My wife and mother don't know me!
<Corey> Clarence: You.... don't exist.
<Corey> Main character: Why's the town have a different name?!
<Corey> Clarence: YOU. DON'T. EXIST.
<Corey> Main character: Where did my kids go?!
<Corey> Clarence: Fuck it, jump off the bridge, I don't care.
#4861
<Merlin3> It was my grandmother's dying wish that I receive some dave matthews bootlegs... if you have any mp3ed (not from the 4 CDs) please msg me or just go and DCC it to me... thank you for your concern. with everyone's help, I think I will be able to make it through these difficult times.
#307796
< er1c_> im curious to know about your knowledge of the tensile strength of a vagina though, vhost-. Â or maybe not
< craige> He was a large baby
< craige> We should leave it at that :p
< vhost-> dude, they can squeeze hard
< vhost-> a penis just kind of sits there, then it raises a little bit, but still just sort of stays there
< vhost-> you can't flex your balls
< er1c_> i um... saw my daughter come into this world. Â i was adamant about not looking but the fucking nurse kept telling me i needed to see the miracle. Â words fail me at describing that horror scene
< vhost-> ~(:D)~ OH HAI
#10767
<angie> yea, finally finished moving all my stuff in today.
<guyen> can't be that bad, she's pretty hot. i could tap dat azz all day
<guyen> godamn i need a picture of her so i can at least jerk off to it
<angie> isn't she in your class, just stare at her with your photographic memory.
<guyen> believe me i do, she's got an azzzzzzz
<angie> she's also right behind me.
<guyen> are you serious?
<angie> yea. she says you're pretty cute too. says you should have the balls to ask her out though.
<guyen> um, will you go out with me?
<angie> she says yes. pick her up tomm 7:30 after her evening class, she wants to see kate and leopold or whatever.
<guyen> are you kidding me? holy shit! im calling your house now
<angie> no i'm just fucking with you.
<guyen> your're a bitch you know that
<angie> i know.
#8496
[dodgelap ] fuck
[dodgelap ] work didnt put my pay into my account
[dodgelap ] wtf is goin on ?
* Synoptica thinks of 'Milton' from office space
#22377
<Tifffany> do ppl in this room talk
<Adam^> sometimes
<Adam^> mostly we just masturbate into a bucket and make the newbies drink it
#311181
<Maali> hm, google scholar fucked up the autogenerated description of my phd thesis
<Maali> it basically shows broken random crap like A#$*UAD $FFVCVADFHSD *OIRWEIUNC and then 'by darwin himself'
<Maali> looks like darwin was summoning the kthulhu so i wont even bother changing the description, it's just perfect!
#118636
Mango: Hey, the server seems slow, are you aware of any reason for that?
Support: i'm copying, then restoring a 4.9gb user backup :D
Mango: righto, that should explain it then :)
Support: I have asked the user
Support: they are in fact stock piling code in case of WW3
#308504
<@Pants> Hey Grue, so I figured out what was wrong with my chainsaw
<@Grue> Ja?
<@Pants> It turns out it has an on/off switch.
<@Grue> `lart Pants
BrainBleach brings in Charles Darwin and the Chainsaw of Natural Selection to have a go at Pants
<@Grue> More apropos, BrainBleach cannot become.
#45629
RuKK0R: you know.. I was just looking at the official list of the most shoplifted items in the good ol US of A
RuKK0R: 1) painkillers
2) home pregnancy tests
3) razor blades
4) preperation H
5) baby food
6) condoms
RuKK0R: the first thing I had to wonder, upon looking over this list..
RuKK0R: if condoms had been higher on the list, would have baby food and pregnancy tests been lower?
jmlsteele: what I'm wondering is why is preperation H on the list.
jmlsteele: the rest "make sense"
jmlsteele: suicide, teen pregnancy, suicide, ????, teen pregnancy, to avoid teen pregnancy
jmlsteele: how in the hell does preperation H fit into that?!
#10508
<Xaotika> well its kinda hard to play with a ping over 200
<Acheron> whine, whine, whine... ;)
<Xaotika> actually i can manage 250 or 300
<cj_> you don't complain about your ping when you are winning :)
<Xaotika> thats because my ping is not over 300 when i am winning. DUH.
#34359
<timmo> GOD DAMMIT AIM
<timmo> making a fucking window pop up while im in the middle of typing
<hy\dro> working fine for m
<hy\dro> e
<hy\dro> oh
<timmo> someone invited me to fucking chat or some shit
<timmo> but while i was typing
<Kenn> haha
<Kenn> and you hit space
<timmo> i totally killed the fucking window
<Kenn> and you will NEVER EVER know what it said
<Kenn> and who it was from
<Kenn> EVER
<timmo> exactly
<Kenn> Doesn't that kill you?
<timmo> yes
Comment: #geekissues efnet
#19417
<Rayne> what does /finger do anyway?
<ShadowZero> it pleasures
#35766
* soulbleed changes topic to 'Do you like: Shaved [4] Trimmed [0] Bushy [0] Landing Strip [2] Heart [1] fuck it aim for the ass [1]'
<johnnyqu_> haha, best topic ever
<johnnyqu_> but what's it about?
<@soulbleed> .....................
#305708
<Pryoidain> >lift up faceplate on old laptop's CD-Rom drive, make whole faceplate giant eject button, so the moment you push it in, it sits there, then ejects again
<Pryoidain> >take into small hardware repair shop
<Pryoidain> >hours of amusement
<Alister> ...you didn't.
<Pryoidain> I did
<Alister> you know
<Alister> you are the reason I never want to work support in my life
#7601
<Felix1> i just got 2070 on ski
<lud> I finished Minesweeper ... custom game, two mines I mean, out of 500 squares
#39849
<@psych0sys> i hate those questionable farts where your not sure if your about to experience relief or a massive stream of molten shit
#34737
<`michael> If Socrates were to observe American government in theory and in action, I believe he would find elements of justice and elements of injustice. I make this tempered statement not because I wish to put platitudes to paper, but because there are shortcomings in a representative democracy, some of them designed, that serve to reduce the possibility that power will be abused. That “shortcomings” provide for a reduction of abuses may seem
<`michael> what the hell am i talking about
Comment: #geekissues EFnet
#19954
<Will> There was a 120 car pile-up on the TV.
<Acidsmoke> Is the TV ok?
#14583
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has joined #programming
<mad-splat> @find *turbo*c++*
<mad-splat> @find *codewarrior*
<dos622> @find you*being*banned
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has left #programming
#310258
< cyberdog> so there are a few holes in watchdogs
< cyberdog> you can 'prevent crimes' by pre-empting them using some bullshit minority report hacking anonymous #wearelegion thing, but when you prevent it, it counts as a victory condition no matter what happens
< cyberdog> so the half hour police chase beforehand, the hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of damage caused, the fact that i arrived on the scene by crashing through the outside area of a restaurant and killed 75% of its customers, and then the fact that i blew both the perp AND the victim away by accident doesn't matter
< cyberdog> perps down, you're a hero
< cyberdog> and then you can stealth in cars to avoid detection, yet it doesn't seem to matter whether the car has doors or not
< cyberdog> hes just sort of slumped in the seat in plain fucking view
< cyberdog> its still entertaining though
< cyberdog> it's a bit like hackers in that it's silly but still enjoyable
< nukes> ahem
< nukes> hackers was not silly
< cyberdog> no that's true. every time i send an email 1s and 0s fly around the room and i surf down a 90s tidal wave wearing an augmented reality headset :P
< nukes> that's not augmented reality, that's lsd
#32043
<kisama> "acme shells" sounds like wile e. coyote's shell company
<pHluid-> There's a RoadRunner joke in there, but I'm too lazy to find it.
#28371
<ptw> rofl
<ptw> oh shit
<ptw> I have pissed myself
<ptw> afk
#152010
<Hagfish2> camelCasing is more of a convention in other languages, especially Java
<Hagfish2> and it's slightly faster to type
<apathy--> faster tot ype?
<apathy--> I disagree
<moveax> I like camelCasing, nothing wrong with it.
<Hagfish2> well, you have to press the shift key either way, and underscores add an extra character
<apathy--> if the extra character bothers you, php isn't the right language for you
Comment: #php on EFnet