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#14953
<TsB-Thuggish> i hate it when you can't explain what i mean
#9045
<DogDiggity> I've worked here for 5 years.. might get laid off tommorow and have never jerked off in the bathroom here... BRB got a mission.
#40757
<FlatEric> I'm bored
<FlatEric> where's my alcohol?
<nougatmachine> you could help me clean up dishes
<nougatmachine> that would give you something to do
<nougatmachine> I have a feeling that in the choice between booze and dishes, booze will win
* FlatEric looks to see how many dishes are in the sink
<FlatEric> yes
Comment: #macobserver, irc.hashmark.net
#68734
<Stux> my girlfriend sent me a video
<Stux> it was of me
<Stux> wearing her skirt, top and a bra with padding
<Stux> and...until it panned up, i looked like a girl :(
<Rjx> email it ;x
<Stux> wap doesnt work
<Rjx> you know what else doesn't work?
<Rjx> your masculinity
#4750
<RD_> i miss those good ol days, no woman, no money, only games, chatting, and lots of masterbation
#20534
<CuZZa> they need to hand out personal jizz screens at Matrix Reloaded
<CuZZa> man i had my jacket on my lap most of last night trying to hide the massive BONER i had
#23467
<Lank|war> man
<Lank|war> a girl once asked me
<Lank|war> what it feels like
<Lank|war> to have an erection
<Boxthor> ....
<Lank|war> and I couldn't figure a way to explain it to her
<Lank|war> they had asked other guys
<Lank|war> and they were like
<Lank|war> "we came to you because you know how to word stuff right"
<Lank|war> and I was like
<Lank|war> uhhhhhh
<Lank|war> it gets hard
#299680
<TugC> hey anyone want some freshly tested proxies?
<Syn> yes
<TugC> xxxxxxxx.com/xxxxxx
<Xero> i want some too TugC
<Xero> holy
<Xero> fucking
<TugC> i tested all of them today in charon
<Xero> HEY
<TugC> what
<Xero> ONE OF THOSE IS MY SERVERS IP
<Xero> YOU FUCKING FUCK
#1204
<Karmer> I am as eternal as the boundless limits of outer space, and my owner loathes and despises me
<mike> leprosy
<Karmer> no
<Karmer> it is
<Karmer> slidey's virginity
#30377
<@Immelmann> YEah
<@Immelmann> My mom plays the sluts
<@Immelmann> *slots
#236973
<tenX> any experiences with expertsexchange.com anyone?
<xsawyerx> i've never had a sex change, so i can't advise there...
#34785
<fatmikey> well I think i'll make that my new hobby after going to the gym when I should be studying
<fatmikey> one can only make a 45 minute workout last so long
<Kurt> have you made it last 45 minutes yet?
#301243
[nickeax] If you could be any monarch, which would you choose?
[Hex] batman
[robzy] batman
#306347
<Symantic> Envious i need help.
<Symantic> I have a extra internal hard-drive space in my laptop. I'm only using one.
<Envious> Okay?
<Envious> fill it with peanut butter,
<Envious> then it won't be empty.
Comment: #computerhope on irc.mibbit.net
#6043
<Corndog24> the corndog got dumped tonight
<The_Freak> Don't worry Corn, you're still cousins, right?
#693
n e r d b 5: what in the hell
n e r d b 5: im not a registered staples user
n e r d b 5: what do i do?
e l i t e m r p: register
#10737
<kas> did you getta message from Mike last night?
<kas> he msged you on aim
<SDMF> he msged me?
<kas> i put in big bold letters
<kas> JOHN ITS MIKE LETS CYBER NOW
<kas> and yur roommate answered
<kas> and was like who's this
<kas> and ize like
<kas> Johns cyber boyfriend, Mike
<kas> is he there?
<kas> i wanna cyber sooo bad
<kas> yur roommate blocked me or signed off
#138416
<Lena> My mama taught me how to dance
<Lena> said if you can shake your ass right, guys will know what you're like in bed
<Lena> my mom is such a whore
<Lena> especially when she said all casually "Mija...have you ever had sex on a piano?" her voice is really thick with a spanish accent and I'm like "MAMA NO!" she goes "Good, dont, cause it's noisy"
<Lena> I just looked at her in disbelief
<Lena> and THEN!
<Lena> one time she says "Mija, I dont want you sleeping with every tom dick and harry, maybe every tom and dick but not ever harry"
#32786
<Sandra19lez> you mean to tell me a porno called Willy Jackoff's Chocolate and Cream Factory had nothing to do with Willy Wonka?
<Auzy> this is one scary convo...
#218444
<Laxos> I used to work in a musical instrument chain store.
<Laxos> (We specialised in guitars and basses)
<Laxos> There was a guy who worked with me, kinda a geek like me.
<Laxos> After a few months of low sales the business failed.
<Laxos> Half the stores were bought by one firm, and half by another.
<Laxos> Both of them offered to take on all the existing staff, if we wanted it.
<Laxos> I ended up going to one firm, and this other guy went to another.
<Laxos> Somehow, we ended up getting rights to nearly all the existing stock.
<Laxos> Bit of a 'fuck you' to the other firm, really.
<Laxos> When we were putting these basses in the van, I go over to the guy and I'm like 'hey, all your bass are belo--'
<Laxos> I stopped because the guy shot me a look that could have killed a small animal.
#3168
<myst> yeah i suck at snowboarding too
<myst> skiing easier
<Joshua> yeah, i broke my arm and then my dad walked up to my twisted wreck of a body and told me i was faking it.
<Joshua> he wouldn't even take me to the doctor's until my mom came home and yelled at him.
<myst> lol! ah parents
#301186
<logicus_> hey hello, i found the followoing set intuitively appealing {{ }, {{ }}, {{ }, {{ }}}, {{ }, {{ }}, {{ }, {{ }}}}, {{ }, {{ }}, {{ }, {{ }}}, {{ }, {{ }}, {{ }, {{ }}}}}}, is there a mathematical reason?
<Polytope> is schizophrenia a mathematical reason?
#297713
<tyranny12> and i quote the television: 'Foster's. Get some Australian in you. <pause, woman's voice comes on> Am I pregnant?'
#32515
<norm0> Roses are red, violets are blue
<norm0> Im schizophrenic, and so am I
#20838
<TDO_Crips> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.