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#711
<iln> she was taking her pants off one time
<iln> and her underwear
<iln> and i was watching from the back
<iln> and i said "damn. you have a nice ass."
<iln> then she got on all fours and said "you wanna put it in?"
<iln> and thats how i stole kristin doan's anal virginity.
#38535
<mata> so my friend is telling me this story... hes going at it with this chick.. . her beds on the floor on top of a box spring.. but still on the floor.. so hes banging this chick.. and all of the sudden her dog comes over and LICKS HIS ANUS..full on anal lick. went straight for it.. not a cheeck not a leg.. but his ANUS... but like a trooper he kept pumping away and just tried to push the dog away with his other hand
#39063
[19:28:44] <drucifer> oops
[19:28:44] <drucifer> i disconned my router...
[19:28:44] <drucifer> no one can seee this
[19:28:44] <drucifer> MOTHERFUCK
[19:28:44] <drucifer> BLIOTCH
[19:28:49] <AJ> lol I can
[19:28:50] <clonak> um
[19:28:51] <clonak> i can too
[19:28:53] * drucifer (drucifer@24-113-4-251.wavecable.com) Quit (WTF!)
#33571
<antivert> One of them was a total asshole, he was like "STOP LISTENING TO ME!!" because I was call coaching him
<antivert> this guy apparently told his customer "Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm going to have to put you in the penalty box." And the customer kept getting pissed off so he was like
<antivert> "Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm going to have to put you in the penalty box."
<antivert> the guy started yelling again so he took off his headset, put it in one of the metal drawers by the desks and started kicking the FUCK out of it screaming "YOU'RE IN THE PENALTY BOX!! YOU'RE IN THE PENALTY BOX MOTHERFUCKER!!!!"
Comment: antivert worked tech support
#310234
<@Slime_Master> I hear damn near all of the wildlife in Australia wants to kill humans
<@Slime_Master> even something as cute as Koalas
<@Xenesis> Koalas are gross and mean.
<@Xenesis> Anyone who thinks koalas are cute has never heard them fuck.
<@Slime_Master> O_O
<@Alex_Lykos> .....
<@Slime_Master> I don't think that's an image I need in my head right now
<@Alex_Lykos> as if i would want to know why you watched koalas fuck
<@Xenesis> Watched? No.
<@Xenesis> Heard from hundreds of metres away? Yes.
#302907
hawq: link to news story "chair-maims-girl-by-anal-penetration"
Orange_Ribbon: caused the gas cylinder in the chair to explode
Orange_Ribbon: WHAT!?!?!?v Gas Cylinder!!
Manoel: Why would they need a gas cylinder in the chair?
Skynet: I was under the assumption that's how gas lift chairs worked, with a gas cylinder.
FetusChrist: Guess what I have in common with a chair
Zoidberg: Explosive gas?
#4455
<Nephil> I was given detention because I said "evaginate" during a debate
<Nephil> :/
#39844
<+Demanther> your fired
<@Alien> you're
<@Jimstang> hahahaha the forener is correcting the American on english
<@Alien> foreigner
Comment: Jimstang's the American too :)
#294926
<Metal_Wol> WTF is a l33t h4x0r anyway?
<Metal_Wol> That hurt my head just to fucking TYPE that.
<Momaw> Don't type with your head?
#774
<Maarken> anyone know of good places to price cisco stuff? I don't want to do all their touchy feely salesperson shit.
#2724
<JDigital> Say, how long would 600Mb take to download on a 1.5Mb connection? Lets assume I were to download an entire CD from Pyoko.org.
<Zaratustra> DO I LOOK LIKE GETRIGHT TO YOU MOTHERFUCKER
#32293
[Nonentity] if you had a friend that was a tightrope walker
[Nonentity] and the two of you were walking down the sreet
[Nonentity] and fell
[Nonentity] it'd be ridiculous
#92436
<Nyschashi-Seikun> so yeah, I downloaded this random porno
<Nyschashi-Seikun> and it's a black porn movie
<Nyschashi-Seikun> and out of nowhere
<Nyschashi-Seikun> they start rapping
<Nyschashi-Seikun> and this skinny white guy, who is apparently the producer
<Nyschashi-Seikun> pops on screen with them
<Nyschashi-Seikun> and dances as they rap
<Nyschashi-Seikun> ;/
#5990
<zer0man> i wish someone told me that having a girlfriend was going to be difficult
<zer0man> or if they told me that, I wish i listened
#40098
[SaladFork] Wow, that was really nerdy
[KOZOR] ?
[SaladFork] Today in computer science, there was this other kid there that knew of the QDB
[SaladFork] long story short, we were shouting quote numbers back and forth, and then a few seconds later, hearing the other person laugh.
[SaladFork] I am now, a true nerd.
#297507
[+Rickmasta] What would you say is the main chinese religion?
[~knoeki] Rickmasta: opression?
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq, irc.p2p-network.net
#301909
<Sebas> Heh, so I have this "Insult Dictionary" which has witty insults for every occasion, as well as a translation into 4 different languages
<Sebas> But it seems that, although the translation is generally correct, every now and then they went for an interpretation instead
<Sebas> So "Moron" comes out as "Naked savage" in the German translation, and "Greasy bastard" becomes "Filthy Italian"
#306020
<gde33> When reading ##politics I'm always amazed how smart people are in all the other channels.
#90
<matt`> It is illegal to use UNIX in conjunction with a member of the opposite sex. This could prevent copulation-2.1.3-20.i386.tar.gz from compiling correctly.
#27841
<Stevns> Mental note: when searching kazaa for southpark episode "cartman gets an anal probe", be sure to include the keyword 'southpark'!!!
#40181
<DEATH> i have a bloody 16:10 screen now
<DEATH> the way some games look could compete with goatse in terms of stretchiness
#28305
<@Harpana_Rocks> I won, I won! I beat the toilet...I was finally able to wipe my ass without getting any on me!
#51512
<matja> well, i _tried_ to read the case study on why windows is more stable than linux, but IE crashed while opening the pdf
Comment: As stable as einsteinium maybe.
#33990
<orion> i HATE
<orion> the beastie boys.
<Amanda_> Their talent is INTERGALACTIC
<Amanda_> Saying you hate them is a form of SABOTAGE
<Amanda_> GIRLS are always huge fans
<orion> ....................................................
<Amanda_> Looks like you need some BRASS MONKEY
#2438
<Amanda`> it's confirmed
<Amanda`> roommate is having sex again, right now
<Amanda`> HOLY SHIT
<Amanda`> I HEAR LIKE
<Amanda`> SUCTION NOISES