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#125661
<@DJ> Oh man.
<@DJ> I got so excited.
<@DJ> I saw Pokemon the First Season on sale.
<@DJ> And almost bought it.
<@DJ> Then I remembered I was 18.
#301251
<timmo> anytime i yell at a woman and im really angry i think CUNT
<timmo> i only say it half the time though
<timmo> its like the a bomb of yelling at a woman
<snow_> i've had worse experiences calling a girl fat than a cunt
<timmo> how about you fat cunt
<snow_> haven't tried that one
<timmo> you know, cover your bases
<Alphamaze> In my experience, calling a girl a cunt will get her angry, while calling her fat will make her sad.
<Alphamaze> Calling her a fat cunt will result in a woman that is confused about her emotions.
Comment: EFnet #geekissues
#19912
<[vV]nitrors4> my wife dont call me anymore
<[vV]nitrors4> she got a vibrator now
<[vV]nitrors4> how the funk am i gonna top a vibrator
<[vV]nitrors4> i cant jiggle my shit that fast
#15070
<[Bryan]> maladono: Make with the showing of the boobies.
<maladono> never
<Venom|WorkProblem> :D|8-<
<Venom|WorkProblem> lol
<Coan_Arcanius> Venom|WorkProblem: you have way too much time on your hands...and i hope thats all you have on your hands...
<[Bryan]> maladono: Why don't you show.
<maladono> im no slut!
<[Bryan]> maladono: well you don't have to be a slut, there are other things you can be. You could be an exhibitionist, or promiscous.... or even just free spirited.
#224084
<hci> life lesson: never perform oral sex before visiting the dentist without brushing your teeth first. especially if you're dating the dentist's daughter
#42095
<KyleG> I know why aliens haven't landed here. They've seen the way we think of them on tv and in video games and know if they get close we'll just blow them.
<KyleG> *blow them up
#307009
<berhnardhoffman> Any sentance, starting with "If i were female" should ALWAYS end with staring at my tits for hours infront of a mirror
<barrettj> ...wishing they were bigger.
#150929
<gavin|> wtf
<gavin|> I just realized that 2 years ago I paid for a 19" LCD but received a 17"
<gavin|> this is so odd
<gavin|> I'm looking into buying a new monitor
<gavin|> so I look at the current monitor I have
<gavin|> it's a 17"
<gavin|> then I look at my receipt from 2 years ago when I bought it
<gavin|> supposed to be a 19"
<gavin|> I... feel dumb
#14206
<tague> i want to start a new movement, lets replace God with Allah in
<tague> the pledge and see how long it lasts
<Deke> i wanna replace with it with spam
<Deke> let companies bid on the phrase and raise some cash
<tague> there's an idea
<Deke> "One nation, under < For Rent > "
#68581
<ibiwan> skype to the rescue
<ibiwan> the one time I let myself bring the iBook in the restroom with me
<ibiwan> there's no TP
<ibiwan> so I call my gf on skype...
<ibiwan> and she brings a roll upstairs!
#7683
<Spyder-> AOL also sucks
*** Carnevil_ has quit IRC (Ping timeout for Carnevil_[ACA7C955.ipt.aol.com])
#14904
<drunker> whats's the microsoft.com site
#16963
<Evilmonkey> I SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS MY MOM NOT MY DAD..
<Evilmonkey> i wouldnt dream about my dad.. im not gay.. er.. shit.
#3100
<Ecntrcjrk> Eating babies is like eating Veal.
<Ecntrcjrk> Only..... babies.
#30643
<SDS91> she's 80 pounds, it would be like having sex with a child
<MaTriX-> omg, tell her to put on a little weight
<MaTriX-> u'll be fucking bones
<MaTriX-> :p
<SDS91> no thanks
<SDS91> I have no problem fucking children
#38015
<Jaime> this asshole pops up on my msn and he's like
<Jaime> "I hate Indians...they never use smilies, just metaphors and shit"
<Jaime> and I was like...what?
<Jaime> and he's like I'm writing a book report and I have to find a smilie
<Jaime> and I go...why would a book have a smilie?
<Jaime> and then he goes...can you read? I said simile (which he did when I re-read it)
#21431
<Linus-> "In the future, computers will weigh less than one ton." -unknown, 1949
(Judge_) and lo and behold, they do
(Judge_) but the users are now apporaching 1 ton
#18809
<Kapplar> Ben, are you on a Static IP?
<Sticky Perez> Heh
<Sticky Perez> Maybe
<Sticky Perez> ;)
<Sticky Perez> I can be Static or Dynamic
<Sticky Perez> Depends which box I check
<Kapplar> Oh baby
<Kapplar> Dual IP'age turns me on
<Kapplar> Talk dirty to me more
#7883
<djrm> Q what is the penalty for exceeding your space quota?
<Alaric> death by pineapple
<djrm> ooo err
#33711
<Neon[UK]> i'm starting a successful online business
<Neon[UK]> and im 17
<Neon[UK]> so fuck you all
<Neon[UK]> apart from rjx
<Rjx> heh
<Rjx> you can't _start_ a succesful business
<Rjx> you get that status after a few years
#8144
<Naivete> damnit whenever I see the word 'mount' in linux documentation I think UNF
<Vertinox> "...Take hard drive, lube it with proper amounts of kY..."
#301846
<blast007> I just think of me being single as doing two things to benefit the world: I'm helping control the population, and I'm putting a lawyer out of work.
#9359
<stank> but copying data to a floppy disk and back makes it lose integrity! like dubbing a tape!
#6615
<@amfeorgmloow> jon do chicks dig the C
<@Jon> amfeorgmloow: they scream preprocessor directives when I take em from behind
#13386
<J-Zilla> ma$e became a preacher
<DarkSerge> wtf does he preach
<d> you idiot ds
<d> "I'M A PLUMBER"
<d> ds: "WHAT DO U PLUMB?"