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#6138
--> osx_newb has joined #cprogramming
<osx_newb> helo?
<Vulpyne> 250 Vulpyne
#3902
<+Tre> how do I get girls to have sex with me?
<+sp00n> show them software you have written..woman go wild for that kind of stuff
<+Tre> for real? how should i show them? do I carry my laptop around and show random woman??
#2199
<|Chris> i was stuck behind some car today and the license plate read "dick 404." my first thought was "oh shit...this guy must be impotent as all hell if his dick is missing."
#20246
<EarthQuake> which came first? the chicken or the egg? :o
<EarthQuake> hehe
<@omega> omega came first
<@omega> then the chicken got pregnant
#12299
<Chern> IM SO FUCKIN BORED!
* Reaper is now known as Reaper[HAVINGFUN]
* BongB is now known as Bong[NOTBORED]
* Chissy is now known as Chiss[FUNFUNFUN]
* brod is now known as brod[IMNOTBORED]
<Chern> FUCK!!!!!!
#306310
<oughts> My finger is vibrating periodically.
<oughts> Like a phone.
<halifax> Ring finger?
#3188
<Chaderz> Damnit man, get MSN!
<Dog_Welder> Unlike most, I find that Bill's dick chafes my ass
#62304
<tybofborg> damn i have a bad feeling about this
<tybofborg> you know that petike went to USA last sunday
<tybofborg> and i knew that he would have to spend a night at JFK airport
<tybofborg> so i sent him a letter
<tybofborg> containing all the keywords i could think about like bomb, jihad, al quaeda, bin laden and so on
<tybofborg> to freak him out when he reads it
<tybofborg> now it's been three days and he still didn't write back :(
#15839
<Actaeon> Stupid three-dimensional universe.
<Violetnite> Better than a two dimensional universe.
<Actaeon> Well, depends on the dimensions.
<Actaeon> And really, it is a good/bad thing.
<Violetnite> What is the good and bad.
<Violetnite> Just curious.
<Actaeon> The three-dimensionality makes it so that I am seperated from people I meet on here by actualy traversable space. On the other hand, three dimensions are necessary for tits. So, guess I just have to deal.
#2328
<TeamsterX> man watching 6 MSCE's around a sun box, looks alot like the opening scene's of 2001:space odyssey and the monkey's with the monolith
#33818
<Maddawy> see i always wonder when i'm lookin at pr0n and jerking off so to speak
<Maddawy> and if my mom walks in.. would i hide my dick or the pr0n?
<cerebrus> jerking off so to speak? wtf? jerking off is jerking off, you don't need to so to speak.. RETARD
<Maddawy> whatever...
<greeny> see this hypothetical scenario happened to me...
<Maddawy> lol.. wat did u do?
<greeny> as the matter of fact i did neither..
<greeny> see, it was after the point of no return.. so i just ejaculated, while quietly moaning and looking at my mom apologeticaly
<Maddawy> LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<greeny> yes.. it's one of the main reasons why i live on campus now...
#34181
<Paradidle> I wonder what a dog thinks right before it humps someones leg... "I dont know what it is, but I'm gonna fuck it."
#305708
<Pryoidain> >lift up faceplate on old laptop's CD-Rom drive, make whole faceplate giant eject button, so the moment you push it in, it sits there, then ejects again
<Pryoidain> >take into small hardware repair shop
<Pryoidain> >hours of amusement
<Alister> ...you didn't.
<Pryoidain> I did
<Alister> you know
<Alister> you are the reason I never want to work support in my life
#33197
<Celeste> hey walra, fucking me, to a man, is what a big bucket of fried chicken is to you
<walra> oooooh
#449
<shady_> if i had 5 comps id put them in a circle and put pics and movies on each one
<shady_> and twist around in my chair jackin off
#1679
<Snapperhe> what 'flavour' of linux do you use?
<al-x> strawberry
<al-x> WITH A HINT OF NERDNILLA
#285772
Betty!: he's engaged?!?!?
Erik: haha i dont know how serious that is
Erik: its facebook, not real life
Erik: i mean if that was true then i'd suddenly have a lot more lesbian friends
#32065
<Preznix> penis adapter for gameboy advanced sp
<splice> finally, a use for the power glove
#28993
<Yamatto> note to self
<Yamatto> shave before leaving hotel tomorrow so as not to scare the little children
<Stikes> taken too many ways :(
* Magus snickers
<Yamatto> my face you bastards
<Yamatto> my face
#1530
[Amanda2] Alright
[Amanda2] Here's what I'm going to do
[Amanda2] I'm gonna sit here naked and I'll look anywhere I itch to make sure it isn't because of a flea
#24128
<Shadow> "Due to the recent decrease in overall test scores among high school
<Shadow> students, I propose we change the term 'foolproof' to 'stupidproof.'"
#11825
... signoff!#linuxhelp -> SpamapS(Ping timeout)
... join!#linuxhelp -> SpamapS(~clint@ip-208-252-253-53.muca.asurf.net)
<SpamapS> Guess who can't tell the difference between the monitor's power cable and the *firewall*'s power cable?
#37785
<@Lucifer7> I think I just caught my Linux servers in the act,
<@Lucifer7> I walk in and both of them are at high network and hard drive activity.
<@Lucifer7> Then they both suddenly stop and the lights go back to normal.
Comment: #Fritolaid irc.homelan.com
#63572
<EnderGT> When I was a kid I went with my dad to his job in facilities for a large company
<EnderGT> They had a bank of diesel-powered generators in their basement - huge 24-cylinder beasts
<EnderGT> On this trip there happened to be a 20 gallon bottle (think old water-cooler bottle) sitting on the floor with about 6 inches of diesel fuel in the bottom
<EnderGT> I inquired as to whether this was a safety hazard - and then watched as a co-worker deliberately struck a match and dropped it in the bottle
<EnderGT> The match fell to the liquid and was extinguished
<EnderGT> As a slightly older youth I attempted to repeat this experiment - only this time with a) a plastic container, b) gasoline, and c) outside on the driveway.
<EnderGT> I think my eyebrows grew back within a week or two
#31061
<Bifrost> I'm sporadic
<synec> i think they have a cream for that now