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#52648
<aq> Mr car is a 1993 Rover Metro 1.1s. I’ve asked a few friends what they think it’s top speed is. Most say it’s somewhere between 70-80mph, perhaps 85mph tops if you push it hard enough. I was on the motorway tonight and it turns out that my car can do 110mph. Unfortunately, there may be photographic proof.
#19716
<Rendezvou> I want a monkey at home that jerks off and throws shit at people when I host parties at my house.
<`KArmA> Rendezvou: to take the strain off of having you do it?
#30362
<@Drag-oN> twinkie? oO
<@Zeromecha> Twinkie, the only food tough enough to survive a nucular blast
<@Drag-oN> it contains roaches? OO
#29783
<svenmonk> My dad had a pop-up version of the Kama Sutra
<PoisonPen> In his pants?
#26368
<ecco> HELLO MICROSOFT WORD SPELLCHECK
<ecco> spellcheck results for 'adn': amputate, arthritis, antidisestablishmentarianism, samurai, tissue, jetpack, George Orwell
#17931
<MrEnthusiasm> ugh, new david bowie cd boasted that it had interactive multimedia on it
<MrEnthusiasm> what it meant was 2 buttons, one to play the cd and one to connect to a site
#32616
<double_a> everytime I check in here its like a doctors office waiting room..........silence
* Mayseth coughs
<double_a> *sound of magazine page turning
#39831
<becci> where do you go to find out if a dentist is legit?
<spilt> hehe
<spilt> 1800DENTIST
<effnet> well
<effnet> if hes using rusty plyers to pull your teeth out
<effnet> he might not be legit
<spilt> she wants to know before i think
<becci> what if he works on your teeth for 2.5 hours and keeps saying "oh my...that's a lot of blood"
<becci> and "that etch really stops the bleeding good"
<effnet> toof had some dental work but her teeth are so big they had to use a jack hammer to operate on them
<luminol> if your zipper is down when the antesthesia wears off
<withnail> then your first treatment is free
<becci> can you guys shut the fuck up
#13720
<Flirbnic> 26% of final doom has been... bought.
#40211
<laurent> i went to go support a user earlier
<laurent> turns out this hottie in the sales department was having mouse problems
<laurent> and shes talking to me while wearing a veeeery revealing top combo
<laurent> and she goes under her desk to unplug the mouse and turns out shes wearing a thong under those tight pants
<laurent> think unsexy thoughts. think unsexy thoughts. no boner. no boner. uhh lets see if the cidr is /26 that gives me 6 bits to play with which is 64 minus two gives me 62 usable hosts on the subnet
<laurent> *whew* no boner
Comment: Just another day at the office...
#303707
<@michael`> she dated around, but then she started dating a guy i think she dug quite a bit
<@michael`> but around 22-23, schizophrenia onset
<@michael`> and he ended his life
<@Rjx> did he try to get treatment?
<@michael`> no
<@michael`> he thought people were tricking him
<@michael`> that nothing was actually wrong
<@michael`> and that his paranoia was rational
<@Rjx> well
<@Rjx> if he'd been admitted to a hospital where they watched him 24/7 and force-fed him drugs that made him fat and stupid
<@Rjx> he would've seen how wrong his paranoia was
Comment: #geekissues
#306606
<@Silly> i'm sat wanking with pron on my 50"tv right, doors closed and everything
<@Silly> right as im finishing up my housemate barges in, no fucking knocking or anything
<@Silly> i dont have time to hide my boner AND close the porn
<+Altruit> so which one did you hide?
<@Silly> so i throw my remote at him, altf4 and slam the keyboard on my dick
<@Silly> end result is that im very sore and ive got spunk all over my keybaord
<@Silly> and he still caught me
#120253
<sloth> i had to wear a USB cable for a belt today because my last pair of shorts broke
Comment: #down efnet
#4131
<prence> o
<prence> h
<prence> m
<prence> y
<prence> g
<prence> o
<prence> d
<prence> i was supposed to be cleaning the bathroom, and i was in there and was like fuck it, ill shave my balls, so i was shaving away, i had my penis stretched out so i could get the hard to reach hairs
<prence> and my mom came in, and saw me, and was like oh im sorry and left!@##@!#@!#@!#@! she thought i was just cleaning the bathroom, but I was shaving and now i cant look her in the face, fizuck
#44970
<3WD> >.<
<3WD> i have all this work to do
<3WD> but I'm so close to being done this quest in GuildWars...
<1of42> >.<
<3WD> i hate procrastionation...
<3WD> meh, i'll stop procrastinating later
#305962
<Joh> I had a friend who was crazy
<Joh> Once, randomly, while we were in town he walked up to a man waiting outside a shop and asked him
<Joh> "Hi, I just want to know how well the anti-memory serum worked, can you remember the number your sister told you yesterday?"
<Joh> The man says "I don't have a sister"
<Joh> My friend looks all serious then says "Damn, it worked too well."
<Joh> This man gave him the weirdest look, then my friend walked off.
#38087
<niteshade> wtf, why is Pringles so popular in japan?
<blakat> the funky flavors, US only gets the regular, boring ones. I've never seen the Cheese and Onion ones outside of Korea though
<niteshade> regular boring?
<blakat> plain, sour cream and onion, pizza-licious, cheez-ums.. Those are the regular flavors..
<blakat> asia gets interesting stuff like: Pizza Margarita, German Bacon, Mexican Tacos, Spanish Salsa, Crispy Curry, Spicy Consomme, Cheese and Onion, Grilled Shrimp and Pepper...
<sendai> Because you can't eat just one
<gelfie> because MSG is addictive. its nicotine for food.
<blakat> and japanese love salty food
<gelfie> is that why they invented bukkake?
#33656
<CrazyMYKL> killall cat
<CrazyMYKL> heh, this isn't a terminal
<Brisby> /exec -o killall cat
<CrazyMYKL> i know, it was wrong window tho
* Brisby giggles at CrazyMYKL
<CrazyMYKL> /exec -o echo "killall cat" > ~/curiosity.sh
#12978
<Mosh76> TO ANYONE WHO KNOWS, HOW DO YOU STOP PEOPLE FROM SENDING YOU UNWANTED CHAT MESSAGES PROMOTING THERE PORN SITES?
<Mosh76> Can someone tell me, or atleast tell me where to look?
<eller> turn off your computer.
#6460
<studdud> what the fuck is wtf
#8070
<whippy-X> Max Payne (the game) looks cool, but Max Payne (the character) looks like he's taking a perpetual shit
<whippy-X> and it's a bit of a ghey name too eh? Max Payne. get it? Max PAIN. very lame. how about he just calls himself Action Man.
#26266
<RoyalBlood> hes like "my dad tells me all about cars cuz he downloads them from the internet" ...
<RoyalBlood> i would have slapped him if i was closer
* Fembot knows all about women 'cause he d/l's them off the Internet
#295367
< r3in> wow
< r3in> so i totally forgot that i was 21
< r3in> I guess i missed a year somewhere
#2952
<nstylz> i want to make a site that the people run it and then just forget about it and watch the $ go in
<Deadbolt> sorry, we already have a slashdot
#7682
<landen:#math> It was started by Carl Sagan. For astronomers there is not a lot of difference between 10^9 and 10^12.
<asphyxia:#math> yeah, only three zeros