Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#37983
[steven] where were you
[Mediator] first time I played doom it gave me a 3 hour seazure
[Mediator] I've been in the hospitle
#31972
<KArmA-> mmm chicks with dicks
<Andreas_1> u like it dont u
<Andreas_1> i thought it was boys with boobs
<KArmA-> no
<KArmA-> that's a fatty
#305379
<guest_71> nick\ totallyhopeless
<guest_71> nick/ totallyhopeless
<guest_71> nick/totallyhopeless
<guest_71> nick\totallyhopeless
<guest_71> why isnt the nickname changer working?
Comment: #computerhope on irc.mibbit.com
#80931
<conner> All I know is, the World Of Warcraft entry in wikipedia is 20 pages long and the Personal Grooming entry is like 1 page with a picture of a cat licking its fur.
#31152
<[moose]KT> Quoting bash.org is like masturbating, people know you do it
#3334
<lan_rover> i hate reruns.
<DAL9000> as do i
<lan_rover> i wish the tv stations would just say: "We're sorry.. we have nothing new to show you.. so please go do something productive."
#90780
<Elixir> my mother tried to ground me
<Elixir> for farting when we had company
<Elixir> i'm like
<Elixir> "i'm 20"
<Elixir> CONVERSATION FUCKING OVER
<randumb> i think you lost that one
<randumb> you farted when company was over while you lived with your mom at age 20
<randumb> and you almost got grounded
Comment: #machogang on popn.cjb.net:4400
#38197
<Fennec> gumby_jd: I know. A "you have been drafted" spam scam! :)
<vAE86> Fennec: that's so funny, and it'd prolly work
<@Scoth> Fennec: The sad thing is it'd probably work
<@Scoth> Yeah
<@Scoth> Just a simple "You have been drafted, call this number to confirm and get flight arrangements" and see how many call
<vAE86> all you'd have to say, is call 1800 4 usarmy, for details on how to get ahold of your recruiter and tell him you've been drafted.
<vAE86> those evil recruiters would suck them right up
<@Scoth> Haha. That'd be so evil. The caller thinks they've been drafted, the recruiter things someone is volunteering, no one would be the wiser until later
<vAE86> until it was beyond hope
<@Scoth> *fade into a scene in Iraq, two soldiers chatting* "So, why'd you join?" "I got drafted. Stupid Bush." "What? There is no draft." "What? I got an e-mail..." "Oh, that's a scam. Haha!" "Crap.."
#7433
<Undine> To celebrate football fan twattishness, Birmingham will once again shut down.
<Undine> Because of the fracas of the last match, twats climbing onto bus roofs as they waited in traffic.
<Undine> The routes around the major bars will be shut.
* Hawx imagines Birmingham "shutting down"...
<Hawx> Like Christmas lights going off...
<Hawx> "It is now safe to turn off your Birmingham"
#73512
Retro: I have discovered how life works.
Retro: "Men: No shirt, no service"
Retro: "Women: No shirt, free drinks!"
#300537
bobthekiller: i make your mom wine bitch
BadSpoon: that's nice of you
#25343
*** Quits: Light^NG (i got chikz in da livin' room gettin' it on, and they ain't leavin' 'till six 'n the morn')
<rhythm> what the fuck
<rhythm> i wanna go to his house
#310554
<Elena> man, an ill-fitting nazi uniform is just a disgrace. like, if you're willing to shoulder all that comes with wearing a frickin nazi uniform, don't half-ass it
<Josh> What are you, some sort of Nazi nazi?
<Elena> yes
i will totally nazi how people nazi
<Josh> I did nazi that coming.
<Elena> alright, we've hit critical godwin, that's it, shut down everything
#35800
TheAntiCrust: WTF is an installshield??? To defend me vs. the install dragon?
#6488
<firebone> btw my fav jpop group is Goa Tse Ceex
#18495
<JessiA> that's weird though
<Kirke> Plus it doesn't even work that well
<JessiA> because Diabetics usually ONLY drink diet sodas
<Kirke> It makes you crave carbohydrates
<The_Vagrant> yeah
<The_Vagrant> my dad can only have diet
<The_Vagrant> but i don't think he cares about the whatever
<Kirke> Not to mention it tastes like ass
<The_Vagrant> i happen to enjoy the taste
<JessiA> hehehe true that
<Kirke> You would
<The_Vagrant> ..um i know i would
<The_Vagrant> i said it didn't I
<JessiA> Vag likes the taste of ass?
<The_Vagrant> no
<The_Vagrant> ass tastes totally different
#25613
* nephlite is listening to korean pop
<Anwar> is it about starcraft?
<nephlite> probably
#54161
<crunchy_dave> hey man
<crunchy_dave> were u hangin out with jonno today?
<Battleaxze> ya rly
<crunchy_dave> dude you say that to everything
<crunchy_dave> if you couldn't say 'ya rly' all day your head would explode
<Battleaxze> what!
<Battleaxze> I have so much willpower it oozes out
<crunchy_dave> convince me.
<Battleaxze> OK, how about this:
<Battleaxze> if I say 'ya rly' again in the next 24 hours i'll give you ten bucks Tuesday
<crunchy_dave> o rly?
<Battleaxze> ya rl-- STFU
#309217
<Ender> Every day when I get up I intend to get all kinds of work done.
<Ender> Then everything goes horribly wrong. :)
<devnull> every day when i get up i intend to get as little work done as possible.
<devnull> Then everything goes horribly wrong.
#308003
<kuyler> This voice recognition kind of socks
#28473
<andypandy7> she is uber nice, http://koti.mbnet.fi/bleach/pebat/Ass_058.html
<andypandy7> her ass is perfect, and her tits
<Shekkie> yar
<andypandy7> man if i could fuck her it would be so cool
<Octo> u cant get a chick like that even in your dreams
<andy|> ur so right aswell :(
<Octo> me neither...but feck it..
<andy|> i couldnt even dream fucking her cause my brain would say "no way loser"
#299826
Hypnotek: Have you ever noticed the similarities between the daft punk Pyramid and the image on the back of the dollar bill?
John: They're pyramids. And both open up. That's about it.
John: Unless the dollar bill also has lasers, an attached HD LCD screen, neon lights, and a DJ booth inside as well.
Hypnotek: It should.
Hypnotek: Would make paying for things much more fun.
#21
<Tempy^^> I'll settle for old and fat
<Tempy^^> begger can't be choosers
<Tempy^^> prolly find used condoms inside of her
#9136
<Odin_Tiger> Even those maps that the psychics show of the earth flooded (the ones where science says there isn't enough water on earth for it to be possible) would have me a good 4 or 5 hour drive from any beaches.
#32466
! KirikaPhoenix sends a brick packet down the network addressed to the router
[Clockedenegger]: you eThug
Comment: #tekheads (Quakenet)