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#5720
<BICKLE> i'm going to build a realdoll that can IRC. that way she can come here and answer questions for you
#5359
<CountZer0> but where is the recycle bin in dos?
#53151
<k2xl> in 1998, i made a C++ program to calculate pi to a billion digits.
<k2xl> i coded it on my laptop (pentium 2 i think) and then ran the program.
<k2xl> the next day i got a new laptop but decided to keep the program running.
<k2xl> it's been over seven years now since i ran it. and this morning it finished calculating.
<k2xl> the output:
<k2xl> "THE VALUE OF PI TO THE BILLIONTH DIGIT IS = "
<k2xl> mindblowing eh?
<k2xl> i looked in the code of my program, and i found out that i forgot to output the value :(.
Comment: true story, i fixed the code and am running it again
#9304
<jre> My underwear seems to be covered with a crusty white substance. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> what does it smell like?
<jre> Like semen
<Zeluth> you have anthrax
<jre> The carton of milk was filled with some sort of milky-white liquid. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> How good at you are pancake making?
<jre> Terrible.
<Zeluth> its anthrax
<jre> I opened my hole puncher to find a large collection of small white discs, about the size of a hole a hole-punch makes. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> try inserting the paper disc in your urethra
<jre> Done, but I can't get it out now.
<Zeluth> congratulations yopu just gave yourself anthrax
<jre> I just received a parcel in the mail filled with a white powder. An accompanying note informed me to "take penacilin now" and that "Allah is great". Is it anthrax?
<^Vulpix^> jre: NOPE IT ISN'T, IT'S FREE COCAINE
#7980
<techzen> fuck lsd
<techzen> i mean dsl
#59761
<anotherpadawan> you know, the Nintendo DS ad campaign "Touching is good" is going to give whole new meaning to "blaming video games"...
#309980
<SickInterpol> you couldn't be farther from the truth. I put 16GB in a quad core machine and that shit ran fly, dog.
<AaronBallman> SickInterpol: I am not a canine, and I am sorry that you had flies running on your feces.
#62316
<Trinexx> greatest feeling on earth: being pissed off because you dont have any cigs, then reaching for your wallet to see how much cash you have and finding out that you have a pack of cigs in your back pocket ^_^
(... a few seconds later...)
<Trinexx> AH GOD DAMNIT THEY'RE ALL BROKEN
#47254
< Telal> "Sorry I came unglued earlier..."
< Telal> fuck that
< Akamu> Seriously
< Telal> she can stay on her side of the state
< Akamu> You know, you should turn gay.
< Akamu> Men don't do this shit in breakups
< Akamu> A fist fight and you can be freinds
< Telal> yeah, but then there's the buttsex
< Akamu> Well, everything has a downside
< Telal> haha
< Telal> I think that was the most objective discussion of homosexuality ever
Comment: in #moo on afternet
#5541
* icenine --train &
<j0ker> luck with your new job
<j0ker> :)
<icenine> not going to my job
<icenine> i'm going to go punch a recruiter in the face
<icenine> but close enough
#31138
<MrSaturn> I think I'm gonna go to law school
<SantaZee> MrSaturn: HAHaHAHAHAHA
<MrSaturn> I wouldn't laugh, I'm incredibly intelligent and extremely good with people
<Catgirl[BTEG]> <SantaZee> MrSaturn: HAHaHAHAHAHA
<Catgirl[BTEG]> Just saving Zee time.
#30141
<Astrodog[BTEG]> Woah.
<Astrodog[BTEG]> My bank issue'd me a credit card.
<Catgirl[BTEG]> Morons.
#302923
<Pat> If you accidentally get impregnated by some douche bag there is nothing wrong with aborting that bastard. The argument that it has a heart beat is ridiculous because worms have several heart beats and people get those removed all the time. And not only do worms make you skinnier instead of fatter but they aren't going to grow up and steal my car battery to buy meth.
#12746
<ArtyMorty> we kill all the jehovah's witnesses once and for all, either we get some
peace and quiet or we get hit by lightning from a clear sky
#305776
* Jorfs (Jorfs@9BEA575.2F81F144.8DE8CFAD.IP) has joined #britfa.gs
<Jorfs> Shit how do i chat up this hot redhead?
<music> okc?
<Jorfs> Nah im at a bar
<music> so let me get this straight
<music> you're at a bar
<music> and you're trying to chat a girl up
<music> but you don't know what to do, so you come on irc?
<Jorfs> Yes
<Jorfs> Why are they all laughing at me now?
<music> hahah
#29054
<orphik> dialup is like the small penis of the internet
#4216
<pingboy> COUNTER STRIKE CURED MY PORN ADDICTION
#19390
<Mysterious> hmmmm
<Mysterious> midnight
* Mysterious turns into a pumpkin :\
#7783
<u238|duhasst> pdf's suck for reading on the toilet
#6759
<Superf0Rk> you're cute.. i'd do you :D
<Superf0Rk> i'd do my bed if it had a hole in it too but anyways..
#68954
<MrZodiac> oh man
<MrZodiac> this is so awkward
<MrZodiac> This girl who I boink now and again is in an open relationship with a dude I knew in college
<MrZodiac> This past weekend she and I made merry, and I threw ropey jets of jism all over her and some of the furnature we were making merry on
<MrZodiac> And I used a towel to clean her and the furnature off
<MrZodiac> So the guy sends me a myspace IM today asking me which towel I used
<MrZodiac> ugh
<MrZodiac> I feel weird
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#16749
<Phillip`> i just had starbucks coffee
<K_Russell> join #someonewhocares :(
<Phillip`> no one is there :(
#25132
*** _Kenny (kenny@md4690fc1.utfors.se) has left #cracking4newbies
*** _Kenny (kenny@md4690fc1.utfors.se) has joined #cracking4newbies
<_Kenny> who kicked me
#33787
(Deranged): I fell asleep on the couch watching TV last night, and when I woke up at 4am, I had a hard on. I looked at the TV, and a Girls Gone Wild special was on. It was like it was meant to be.
#84998
<CtrlAltDestroy> Here is my impression of Wikipedia.
<CtrlAltDestroy> "There are five fingers on the human hand [citation needed]"