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#70466
<Pig[Trabajo]> I was visiting my friend's uni, right?
<Pig[Trabajo]> And they had this Thai kid show up
<Pig[Trabajo]> His full name was: Sataporn Pornpromlikit
<Pig[Trabajo]> Every single fraternity petitioned him to join them.
<Pig[Trabajo]> Everyone wanted Sataporn Pornpromlikit on their side.
<Pig[Trabajo]> The poor little guy was so confused.
#3134
<friedegg> _.---._ /\\
<friedegg> ./' "--`\//
<friedegg> ./ o \
<friedegg> ././\ )______ \__ \
<friedegg> ./ / / \ \ | |\ \ \7
<friedegg> " " " "
<friedegg> _.---._ /\\
<friedegg> ./' "--`\//
<friedegg> ./ o \
<friedegg> ././\ )______ \__ \
<friedegg> ./ / / \ \ | |\ \ \7
<friedegg> " " " "
<b|ubeard> eek
<friedegg> shhh
<friedegg> i'm observing wildlife
#104302
<Gerrit> Cannot join #real-life (Banned)
#305532
<ana> i lied to hypno last night about contractions
<ana> but he is handling everything with calm
<ana> so he kept eating while looking at me
<ana> and i couldn't keep it serious for long enough
<ana> he said he will never believe me again
<Ultali> ana do they not have the story about the preggers girl who cried wolf in Romania?
<ana> yes we do
<Elleo> in Romania wolves are traditional midwives, so it has a whole different interpretation
#1950
<Kazz> Wait a minute... something about this is a little... odd...
<Kazz> I believe this woman has more than the recommended amount of penises.
<Brentai> My type of woman.
#34146
<Valek> Life sucks, I hope I get drunk this weekend.
<WzL> life sucks
<WzL> and it don't even swallow
<Valek> Yeah but if your lucky you find a girl who does, then life doesn't suck anymore.
<WzL> But if yer unlucky she lives in another country
<Valek> And if your really unlucky shes a guy.
<Valek> And if your really fucked
<Valek> She has a bigger penis then you
#32810
<Kneecaps> anybody up for some key signing?
<Kneecaps> nobody about :(
<SlayerXP> key signing?
<SlayerXP> as in "hello complete stranger I met on IRC, please sign my GPG key so people will trust the key more."
<Kneecaps> yes
<Kneecaps> thats right
<SlayerXP> . <- the point -> your direction of travel
#52794
<Haplo> Just in case you guys didn't believe me yet.
<Haplo> The client bringing the desserts and drinks for the party just showed up.
<Haplo> This is an office of TWELVE PEOPLE.
<Haplo> And he brought:
<Haplo> two cakes, a cheesecake sampler, two bags of Lindt truffles, one of those large containers of cookies from the grocery store, two containers of fudge (one peanut-butter), mini-cupcakes, and four bags of assorted holiday candy (Twix, Crunch, Kisses, etc)
<AdP> Wow. That's a sugar coma waiting to happen.
<Fusilliban> Yes, and I must claim it as mine.
<tanuki> IS THERE A DENTIST IN THE HOUSE?
<Haplo> We're next door to the dental school yes.
<tanuki> Haplo: sure they didn't bribe the guy into bringing that much sugar?
* tanuki grumbles about his missing pastamastery
<Haplo> Actually tanuki, the point is that the guy is trying to bribe US to buy more of his products.
<AdP> Yeah, from the spread, I'm guessing the client is in the insulin business.
#7630
<XxChesterxX> who here uses a dildough
<Solidus> only when i'm making some dilbread
#41475
<Re2k4> wonder how many of those dumbass drug dealers have traded dope for blowjobs from him
<Mike_3486> gah
<Mike_3486> I'm trying to eat a cadbury egg here
<Mike_3486> Dont talk about tranny BJs
<Re2k4> does it have the usual come-like filling?
<Mike_3486> yes
<Re2k4> ok. carry on.
<Mike_3486> i hate you
#32497
<@Mike> ahah!
<@Zero> ?
<@Mike> the source for microsoft windows!
<@Mike> 10 * BEGIN
<@Mike> 100 GOSUB 7000 ; * Load stuff
<@Mike> 110 GOSUB 900 ; * Show windows logo
<@Mike> 120 GOSUB 20000 ; * Prompt for operator login
<@Mike> 130 GOSUB 32000 ; * Fill half of memory with DLL's
<@Mike> 140 GOSUB 16000 ; * Time waster loop
#55726
(@Tenor) man
(@Tenor) I got owned
(@Tenor) hardcore
(@Tenor) fucking myspace
(@Tenor) this shit with a crush calculator
(@Tenor) enter the full name of yourself and your crush
(@Tenor) press submit
(@Tenor) it emails results to the person
(@Tenor) gay
(@Tenor) why the FUCK did I fall for that one
#17884
<[NM]-K0ld> Looking for a GREAT time with GREAT people? Join #gaychat!
*** [NM]-K0ld has left #cc.
<Rezox> wtf? gay people arent great
<Rezox> gay people are gay
#324
<anihil8r> hmm.. when you were in school did they ever say that you were special?
#18574
<OlDirtyB> thats why i fuck sheep next to cliffs
<OlDirtyB> they push back
#57801
<pram_handle> Google Ad:
<pram_handle> ESSAY PROOFREADERS: Our Expert Service Let's (sic) you kick back while we read!
#121252
<StarRinger> I just thought of something
<StarRinger> when you download stuff online, its pirating
<StarRinger> but when pirates steal something, its noisy and brash with many dead bodies and cannonfire and immediate seizing of property
<StarRinger> if anything, downloading things on the internet, silently it by bit? its more like ninjaing
<narg_smash> Piracy! YAR
<StarRinger> you can start calling it piracy the day someone sends a cannonball into the RIAA building
<narg_smash> I accept your challenge, sir.
<StarRinger> Excellent.
#2018
<MadHatter> I wish I could get a job as a stunt penis
<MadHatter> like for porno movies
<MadHatter> I don't look like a pornstar(not that I'm ugly, I just don't have that look), but I have a porno penis
#29456
< krept_> tomorrow is going to be cool
< krept_> i'm going to have real friends
< krept_> SCREW THIS INTERNET BULLSHIT
<@meth> going to get a few new action figures?
< krept_> nah, just unpacking them finally
#23380
<Arrgh> hmmm... i need to write my own matrix code
<Harrison> Yes, Arrgh!
<Harrison> Then you can subjugate the entire human population!
<Harrison> Except for a small number of upstarts who'll wind up totally ruining your plans.
<Harrison> One of them will be a terrible actor.
<Arrgh> naw, that has a scale thats much too big
<Arrgh> i'll have to just subjugate all of you gys
<Harrison> Can I be the bad actor?
<Arrgh> i dunno, you need to audition!
<Harrison> Ok ok ok. How's this...
<Harrison> "Whoa."
<Arrgh> you're hired!
#12423
<Arafelis> Er, can anyone help me get rid of a virus?
<Arafelis> I sort of need to before it takes out my computer.
<Arafelis> It's creating a junk file called WIN386.swp
#875
<Dr_DOS> a typhoon smashed into hong kong
<Dr_DOS> wiping out 1.5% of their pirated goods
<Dr_DOS> a total profit of $300,000 for US companies alone
#10822
<deniro> Happy to hear that the french lost the world cup already!
<deniro> Next time football will pop up into conversation, those french bastards will pretend an urgent pee to go cry in the toilets instead of being arrogant as usual
<bloom> Aren't you french?
<deniro> Well... don't tell anyone ok?
<deniro> I don't want anybody to think I must have some kind of disease to go so often in the toilets for the next 4 years...
#309889
<Zelest> I downloaded a porno today...
<Zelest> Which started with a HUGE dubstep drop
<Zelest> Biggest turn off ever
#325
*** Signoff: meredith- (Random number generation is too important to be left to chance)