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#304583
Adam|Lunch: How can I play a sound using jQuery?
coldhead: rename jquery.js to jquery.wav
Comment: #jquery on freenode
#13621
<Mort-Hog> Is 'clenches' spelt right?
<Flirbnic> No, it's 'headphones'.
#19972
HolyViper7: do i go outside and run, despite the fact it is 100 degrees fahrenheit and sweat my fucking balls off.....
HolyViper7: or do i sit inside and look at porn?
HolyViper7: toughie...
Lotach: tough decision
Lotach: either way you get sweaty
#5606
<synja> WOOOOOOOOOO
<matts> woooooooooo what
<synja> im celebrating in advance for when one of you guys gives me an acct to an audio warez site that im about to ask access for
#306044
<@CiTay> haha... watching Science.Ch.Moon.Machines.5of6.Space.Suit... in the space suit, they had this "pee bag" with a condom-like hose leading to it. initially they had three sizes for the condom-like part, small, medium and large. but all astronauts ordered the large part, no matter the real need. so they renamed it to large, gigantic and humongous.
#116163
<sly> being a sex addict is a bad thing?
<hohum> only for ugly people
#5391
tatsumio: itd be pretty neat to have a vagina somehwere on my body that I could have sex with
Oogy Boots: :O
tatsumio: and the vagina got the full orgasmic effects too
tatsumio: imagine.
Oogy Boots: and you thought I was a freak!
tatsumio: double orgasm
CyAteon: if it was on his arm or something would be really weird.
CyAteon: not only would you be having sex with your arm
CyAteon: but your arm would orgasm
Oogy Boots: LOL
CyAteon: unf unf unf unf ARGGGGGGHARARHGA <arm cramps up>
#16780
<Slime> Whenever hot chicks come up to me I always end up, like, vomitting everywhere and somehow my pants fall down, and then someone has a black eye, and everything goes wrong
#15450
<merl> in the UK things are generally pretty wet
<merl> we've adapted
<merl> webbed feet n shit
#283999
<steuy> i'm looking for Hitchcock's movies
<alen> lol, it's Hancock, stupid
#19558
<zygron> marv: you remember what i said yesterday about that IBM keyboard i got from a friend ?
(Marvin66) yeah, it clicks.
<zygron> marv: i spent one and a half hour to clean it, removed all the keys etc
<zygron> marv: then i plugged it, and realized it was an XT keyboard
<zygron> no clicks for me =(
#12227
<@RuneCaster> hitting a 9 year old on a crosswalk is probably bad for your driving record though
<@RuneCaster> all I remember was I was on my way to the arcade to play TMNT
<@RuneCaster> and suddenly it was sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground pain
#32662
<ruumis> playing metroid on the toilet. man, I knew there was a reason I lived in America.
#50221
<Aeli> ...
<Aeli> now you've gotta be kidding me
<Aeli> I'm never using the ef name generator again
<Aeli> thicwang?
#25612
<Tracer[Quoting]> a friend of mine told me once that he is so unlucky that if he would fall into a barrel of nipples, he would come out sucking his thumb
<eelhovercraft> The concept of a barrel full of nipples frightens me
#268831
<bobjam> Demonstrators in Cairo demanded Tuesday that Saudi Arabia release an Egyptian doctor sentenced to 15 years in prison and 1,500 lashes after he was convicted of malpractice reportedly after treating a Saudi princess.
<bobjam> saudi arabia is bad.
<Snow> But I bet their malpractice insurance costs are lower than ours.
#965
<Driph> a friend of mine is bi
<Driph> and she's arguing with her girlfriend about who is supposed to cook tonite
<Driph> and I told her that was the worst thing about a relationship between two women, you dont automatically know who's supposed to cook
#115098
<Lars44> ...
<Borealis> What's that, all the punctuation that you forgot to put in earlier?
Comment: irc.waypasteleven.com, #n
#28315
<Dru> been going strong for like 20 minutes
<Velcro_> the viagra's helping eh?
<Dru> yeah like i need drugs to keep a constant hard on
<Quorthy> viagra is for ppl without usenet access
<Quorthy> & usenet is for ppl without vagina access
#37255
<gullberg> derb^ircdruk? drunk? :D
<derb^ircdruk> indeed :D
<gullberg> nice :D
<derb^ircdruk> have to drive in about 3½ hours
<derb^ircdruk> you know, car and shit
<derb^ircdruk> I'm going to crash so much
<gullberg> Then dont drive ;)
<gullberg> sleep instead :D
<derb^ircdruk> no
<gullberg> why not?
<derb^ircdruk> need my driver's license
#35206
<Rjx> I seriously need to take a piss
<Rjx> but the door is blocked up
<Neon[UK]> why?
<Rjx> bats
<Rjx> got to keep them out
<Rjx> I may have to pee out the window
Comment: #geekissues
#50646
Julius: dude so my sis knows a girl right
Julius: an this girl
Julius: used mayo as a sexual lube one night
Julius: so
Julius: next couple of days
Julius: she gets unexplained orgasms
Julius: so she goes to the doctor
Julius: and
Julius: boom
Julius: maggots
Julius: a la vagina
Comment: ... out of KY? Check the fridge...
#159419
ruide: hey chris, stop fuckin cybering and let me show you something
cyph33r: what
cyph33r: i dont cyber cockbite, i have a gf
ruide: haha
cyph33r: what did you want to show me
ruide: i made an account on that scrabble website you go to
ruide: bubblegal_14
cyph33r: wtf
cyph33r: omg fuck you you fucking prick
ruide: chrisharker: i slide two fingers into your tight asshole
cyph33r: YOU ARE A FUCKING FAGGOT YOU KNOW THAT
cyph33r: I FUCKING HATE YOU
ruide: chrisharker: i've never done this before, am i doing it right?
cyph33r: FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
#116343
<IdleFire> back later perhaps, playing aoe with the girlfriend
* Quits: IdleFire (IdleFire@idlefire.net) (Quit: IdleFire)
<MadManMarkAu> Wait, he has a girlfriend, and he prefers to play AoE?
<MasterCJ> thats nothing
<MasterCJ> once he was in bed with her
<MasterCJ> naked
<MasterCJ> and was on irc
<MasterCJ> and she was playing aoe
<MadManMarkAu> :s
#10339
<Gorilla> aye. they didnt have any Dogs Bollocks in sainsburys, so i took a customer comment's card, and expressed my disappointment with them not stocking Dog's Bollocks on their shelves.
<Gorilla> tey sent me back a letter saying that they do not stock chinese delicacies. i think they thought i meant the actual testicles.