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#56387
<papasurf> how do i use irc to search for and download legitimate materials?
#40983
Cochese: Facts, shmacts! Everyone twists their facts to make it look believeable and advantageous to their side whether you're a "liberal pussy," "right wing nutjob," or even a so called "unbiased observer." All I know is that my history teacher told me when I'd grow up, things would get a whole lot worse. And goddamn it he was right. Now I'm feeding him social security. Bastard!
#4260
<McMoo> My computer's maximum uptime: 4w 2d 15h 39m 3s, set on Tue, Feb 19 2002 at 5:53:00p
<McMoo> LOOK AT HOW BIG MY DICK IS
<McMoo> 4 WEEKS BIG!!!!!!!
#16681
<packrat> HELP
<defected> Looks like it.
<packrat> stfu ur just a lamerz newbie i m an expert................
* defected waits for the lame question.
<packrat> k now how do i make hacker toolz wih irc
<packrat> plz
#311229
<Jigsy> A Nightmare on Elm Street was an inside job. WAKE. UP. PEOPLE!
#57180
<taxman> Okay, I seriously don't know how this could happen.
<taxman> I woke up this morning and went into the bathroom to piss
<taxman> One of my nostrils is really itchy and so I grab a piece of toilet paper and blow my nose
<taxman> When I look at it, there's a fucking EARWIG amidst a sea of snot
<Rintin> rofl
<taxman> So I shout in surprise, "Holy fuck! How in the hell did that get up there?!"
<taxman> I drop it in the toilet, flush it and open the bathroom door, and my mom and wife are standing there, staring at me with their mouths half open.
<Rintin> holy shit lmao
<taxman> They haven't stopped making fun of me about it. So I'm here. :/
#1753
<Squizzle> WARNING: DO NOT LET DR. MARIO TOUCH YOUR GENITALS. HE IS NOT A REAL DOCTOR.
#11577
<Dark_Lord411> hi
<Dark_Lord411> asl
<ShockSMX> no, dsl... you?
#4879
<gee> i made $52 at busch gardens saturday
<iban> in a bathroom stall?
#24456
<epix|work> i was just browsing my home netowrk and i went into my brothers computer
<epix|work> seeing what he has, like in kazaa and crap, and its a bunch of porn
<epix|work> should i rat him out? so he is grounded from his computer for like a week
<epix|work> and that way i can d/l porn faster
#29054
<orphik> dialup is like the small penis of the internet
#39053
<ASM57> im confused, whats the difference between router/switch/hub?
<David-63> www.google.com
<ASM57> dave
<ASM57> google it for me please
<ASM57> and then give me the link
<Bog> andrew, the router routes
<Bog> the switch switches
<Bog> the hub doesn't hub though
<ASM57> Bog, you're no help
Comment: #HotHardware on irc.UltraPresence.net (RigNet)
#37976
<@Fusion> heh I failed my french project because of freetranslation.com ;/
Comment: #idleland on irc.alternatenet.net
#9616
<@djcrom> she looks like shes about to giggle, then strip naked and wail away at her clit with a hammer in a sweaty, bloody session of demented masturbation
<Insolence> damn that's what my mom looked like when she found a porno in my room
#2753
<vman_> wow
<vman_> 2 iranians in here
<vman_> amazing
<vman_> IM NOT A MINORITY ANYMORE U STUPID FUCKS
<vman_> HAHA!
#49807
<scerez> Something Amber has...that no other girl has >:O
<ShunDhaos> a penis?
<AmberRae> a oenis
<Fluffy> a penis?
<AmberRae> penis
#30966
<TriviaServ> mus.1145. Music: Name the Artist/Band that recorded this song: Get Another Boyfriend (Martin/Rami) ?
<TriviaServ> 1st Hint: ********** ****
<SpAz> backstreet boys
<TriviaServ> YES, SpAz!!! got the answer -> backstreet boys <-
<SpAz> god i cant believe i jsut got that
* SpAz shoots self in face with shotgun
#34712
<@Joe> OMG - forgot the wife
<@Joe> my clock never changed
<@Joe> brb
Comment: Daylight savings time.
#304949
<dd7> lol i went to a furry role-playing chat once
<dd7> an op hushed me because two lesbians were going at it
<dd7> so i said "type 1 if you're getting off on this"
<dd7> and the entire channel was flooded with numbers
#9057
The-ill-man- *beat kicks in* yo yo you know i be somkein some grass, tappin some ass, while rippin on bowls, and hittin on hoes
-cyanide- ur smoking weed while fucking girls while smoking weed while trying to pick up girls.. nice rap..
#5750
<TeNcHi420> i went to this store to buy a pipe, and there was only one left, and hes all "its unbreakable" so i was like thats pretty cool, but then he starts bangin it on the tble, and im like ok stop, but he says, "no look, you can hit it how ever many times and it wont break.." on about the 7th or 8th smack on the table the thing shatters....i almost knoked his dumbass out
#116245
<Trinexx> Holy crap that was awkward...
<Trinexx> neighbour of mine called and asked me to attend a surprise party she was throwing for her husband
<Trinexx> About 30 minutes after he showed up, she announced to him and the rest of us that she was pregnant.
<Trinexx> Mike says "Honey, I've been meaning to tell you, but..."
<Trinexx> "I'm sterile."
<Trinexx> I grabbed my coat and left.
#58166
Tael: "two days later my exfiance was all "I know, we can go somewhere you havent been, it will be a surprise..." drives up to hooters and gets out, and says, you'll like it here. We walk in and all the girls say hi to me and give me hugs"
Tael: "I got the DIRTIEST look in the world from her"
#27400
<Nylad> yeah, i should probably shower before my interview at mcdonalds :P
#51739
Clo Poud: my dad
Clo Poud: is pressuring me into buying a car
Rodri316: Clo Poud
Rodri316: Keep your dad's volume constant
Rodri316: and lower his body temperature
Clo Poud: rodri
Clo Poud: what the FUCK
Clo Poud: are you even TALKING ABOUT
Rodri316: according to Gay-Lussac's law, his pressure should decrease