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#4954
<`rip> when you go into a job interview
<`rip> and they ask you what 3 of your weaknesses' are
<`rip> what do you say
<clay> you tell them that youre indecisive
<clay> and then stop talking
#5454
«+ Ryutaro » has anyone ever dreamt that they were food that was being eaten?
«+ Ryutaro » I cant find anyone else thats had a dream
«+ Ryutaro » I was mashed potatoes once
«+ Ryutaro » I felt like little bits of me were being swallowed and stuff, it was weird
«+ Ryutaro » then a week later I was jello
«+ Ryutaro » but nobody ate me
«+ Ryutaro » I just stood around jiggling
«+ Ryutaro » this was when I did drugs, lol
#34520
<Djinna> i saw a pin this afternoon that says 'just because i'm a gay man doesn't mean i'll turn down a blowjob from a woman'
Comment: #bifemunix
#609
n e r d b 5: DUDE
n e r d b 5: shania twain is only 20 years older than me.... i might have a chance one day, since she isnt that much older than me
#8409
<mindlace> i ate a pig that had probably been tortured its entire life before finally being put out of its misery in a festering pile of its screaming kin.
<space> i mean, part of the fun of having a pet is being able to interact with it
#29036
<Daisuke> yea, sucking cocks is fun
<Daisuke> that came out wrong
#30634
* Marine|CH is god
<ih4x`variant[iHi]> you spelled gay wrong
#15425
<+PlasticLSD> shes talking about they time they tried anal beads on her
<@oddduck> i was like... 4 yrs old
#303515
&Akensai: i just brutally slaughtered some russian asshat
&Akensai: called me an elephant penis in russian
&Akensai: so i let him know i could understand russian
&Akensai: by calling him 2 week old moldy dick juice
&Akensai: now we're friends.
#27348
[21:19:59] <stillstudy> weird
[21:20:04] * stillstudy finds 2 leaves in his text book
[21:20:15] <stillstudy> mkae that 4
[21:20:16] <stillstudy> wtf
[21:20:20] <stillstudy> this book is reverting to being a tree
#4249
<Altoid> patience, young skywalker
<DeX`> but that leia bitch wont put out!
<DeX`> shes got those huge danishes on her ears to hang onto....
<Altoid> mmmm
<Altoid> danish
<Altoid> you fuck her, I'll eat the ears
#29891
<|JohnDoe|> hola.
<Martel> lo, unidentified man who appears between pipes
#31738
<mod> someone was telling me the other day
<mod> and i cant remembe where
<mod> that he wa checking baggage in at the airport
<mod> and his suitcase was REALLY packed full
<mod> and as he hands the bag to the guy at the counter he says "be careful, it might explode"
<mod> it was an awkward moment
<dano> ROFL
<mod> this was like a week ago too
<mod> oranger alert and all
#40901
* sanjay has joined #hack
<sanjay> im very much in love with a girl since past 6 yrs ..it was all going fine
<riddler> oh hell no
<riddler> don't make me DoS you, boy
<sanjay> but recently i have started feeling that she is now changing .. and trying to ignore me
<sanjay> i think she has someone else now in her life .. im still very much in love with her
<sanjay> can anyone hack her email id for me .. i just wana check her emails ..
<riddler> I'm SO banning everyone when i get ops back
#10893
<octal> i think meeting lots of cute/etc. girls is easier if you're deaf and thus can tolerate raves.
#18421
<humpy> "I was in #paintball on the enterthegame network. Everyone around me screaming in horror at the llamas. It was shrilling, like the kind of shrills you get washing your parents underwear, the kind of shrills that no man should ever hear. This was my hell."
<Fryth> i think your washing machine is b0rked
#19465
* Lotach presses his internet-relay Stab-in-eye-omatic button
#4902
<iban> in 5 years irc will be obsolite
<ryano> so will spelling
#56166
<Darien> I love my job
<Darien> I saw a coworker trying to figure out how to make his chair lean back
<Darien> he was on the ground looking at the bottom of it
<Darien> we talk about the chairs for a minute or so
<Darien> then he puts on his headset, hits a button on his phone, and says 'Sorry ma'am, thanks for holding.'
#39145
(@Wabz) Is it wrong to download Warez and then ask for help from the programs support forums?
#14348
Malcolm: I think I'll start my own TV show.
Malcolm: By mixing various bits of Junkyard Wars, Crocodile Hunter, Iron Chef, Elimidate, and The Chair
SlashChick: hehe
SlashChick: what will it be called?
Malcolm: Titanium Crocodile Date Chef Chair
#17183
<_ENiGMA_> Fuckin telstra
<_ENiGMA_> They ring you up, and dont say who the fuck they are and expect you to know they are telstra
<_ENiGMA_> "Hi its sheryl here from the paramatta faults center, have you had any problems since the 26th?" ... "Umm well yeah, I've been constapated a few times and seem to wake up with erections... but aside from that Im fine"
#88403
<[ka]killer> what if you just took all the servers on the internet and networked them all together....
<[ka]killer> wait...
<[ka]killer> never mind.
#15435
<Setups> is it a forest fire?
<Setups> I CAN SEE THE SMOKE FROM MY HOUSE
<SneakyPete> wtf going on setups? what state?
<Setups> its in alberta
<Setups> canada
<Raider|FIRE> must be forest fire
<travelyan> they have fire in canada?
<Setups> fuck you
<Setups> eh
#3876
<Infe> damn, i hate buying a computer part, you always see a better deal the next day
<AlmtyBob> not me
<ryo-ohki> Just steal stuff, and you won't have that problem.
<Infe> but then they buy something newer and better to replace what you stole
<Infe> and you have to steal again!