Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#304836
<BlueVortex> Why doesn't bread respawn when you eat it?
<Advocate> Mine does. You're probably doing it wrong.
#26376
<pupazz_> What American Pie Has Taught Us : No need to date if your mother bakes pie.
#37683
<ZiPPy> thats like type /quit then a persons name after it eg. /quit Snookle and it will quit that person.
<ZiPPy> go on try it.
<wabz> i think it works better with /ban
<wabz> let me try
* wabz sets mode: +b ZiPPy!*ZiPPy@vw8185.optusnet.com.au
Comment: game set match: wabz
#21364
<wormie> go to a junk yard
<wormie> get an old car that runs
<wormie> give the fat guy workin there 20 bucks for it
<wormie> drive it into the store as deep in as you can
<wormie> hop out
<wormie> and when everyones running away
<ubergamer> LOL
<wormie> go grab a cd key :)
#104432
<GregorR> Gregor's thought process: "I think I'll have a chicken sandwich. Mmm, I should grill some onions for that." *one chicken sandwich later* "Those grilled onions were the best part ... I think I'll just have some grilled onions" *one onion later* "I think I'll go breathe on a friend of mine."
#300059
<Warchamp7> I have a PSD in graphics design
#68976
<iV> close call tonight
<iV> on my way home from work, and this guy comes out of this alley in front of me, then runs towards me and shoves me down on the ground
<iV> he has a pistol in his hand and says "why'd you do it? tell me why i shouldn't fucking kill you right now!"
<iV> then he stops, looks at me and starts laughing...
<iV> he helps me up and he's like "haha sorry man i thought you were this other dude...whew glad i noticed the difference."
<iV> and he goes back into the alley
<iV> seriously..wtf
#6330
craig: I suddenly have the urge to rip someone's ear off... can you guess why?
ted: uh... you've been possessed by vincent van gogh?
#3800
<JibberJim> what should happen to your webpages if you drop dead?
<Jumper> is this a trick question ?
#307708
* rycuda has just been offered an amp
<@Al> After being given a shock like that it's wise to have a coulomb-down period
<@mgsts> I'm trying to decide watt a suitable punishment for these awful puns is
<@OneCruelBagel> mgsts: it's not his volt, he has troubles at ohm.
<@OneCruelBagel> We should let him have some peace faraday.
#62094
Speckz: her orgasms sound like throwing a cardboard box into a fireplace
#310713
<Somasis> peter anvin has a pet python named perl
<tanderson> since it's a python, perl can C its tail, but because of the forked tongue it speaks with a lisp; his mother Julia always corrected him, but unfortunately was bash'ed in the head by an accidentally dropped cup of java.
<Somasis> oh my god
<tanderson> Thank you, I'll be here all week
<Somasis> that was just criminal
<tanderson> He was sed for a time, but decided to go forth and ultimately met Ada, gave her a ruby ring, and lived happily ever after.
<Somasis> STOP
#223252
<Mondus> Hey everyone.. Are any of you geniuses porting Google Chrome to FreeBSD or are you aware of anyone working on that?
<anxt> we use links
<indigoflux> I use telnet.
<phx> nah, netcat
<phx> telnet parses control characters instead of me, doing a poor job
#26296
«Narc|LAG»: Yaleman rebooted the ricetek server today. 291 days of uptime gone :o
«Cav»: is that like losing a family member?
#16245
<jasn> if i ever have a girlfriend that requests that we have a 'song' together, after i laugh
<jasn> i shall suggest master p - you can be my bitch
#2544
<bunni> your dick is small!!!
<bunni> i can't even see it!!!
<monkey> because i am girl!!!!
#37244
<barracuda> i got a letter in the mail that said i've been fired
<barracuda> theres no reason for termination tho
<barracuda> brb
-a few minutes later-
<barracuda> fuck
<barracuda> i got fired for reading bash
<Smithereen> Where do you work?
<barracuda> at church
#143
<`BuM> why is it that, no matter how much you pee into the toilet it never fills up?
#6771
* Fox-20 is down with gcc (yeah you know me)
#18237
<afhersn> I'm a trojan infected computer set to spam. I got this way because I went to a p0rn site someone messaged me. I'm an idiot. Find an IRCop and get me klined please!
#35286
<PsykoSmily> there is nothing worse than being freshly showered... then sneezing all over yourself.
#6134
<lsd> my win2k box is being a bitch
<HrdwrBoB> that's the default setting
<HrdwrBoB> you have to edit the registry
#3318
<@Epyon[UOPG]> Giren's Greed is being remade on PS2
* @Epyon[UOPG] faints
*** Joins: Buster
<Nomadic_Dragon> What was it for originally?
<Buster> self-arousal
<Buster> im pretty sure.
#302849
<Thinpy> Well, my first day at work didn't go at all well.
<Thinpy> Even though I'm probably the only competent IT person there
<Thinpy> well, as you might know I've been unemployed and living in my own place for three months
<Thinpy> in that time i have adjusted to living in a... relaxed environment
<Thinpy> for example, i have been wearing mostly loose-fitting sweatpants
<Thinpy> so when I need to drain the ol' bladder
<Thinpy> i have perfected a move at home by which I yank 'em down and start peeing in one fluid (lol) motion
<Thinpy> today at work I needed to pee and went into the work toilets
<Thinpy> since I was alone in there I kinda instinctively used the move
<Thinpy> only to discover that work pants, held up by a belt, do not come off as easily as my sweatpants might
<Thinpy> and I urinated copiously into my pants.
#16148
<Yeo> BEER IS LIQUID BREAD IT'S GOOD FOR YOU