Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#13111
<neia_doll> Im 5 foot 11 and 116 lbs..i lost 3 on accident..
<k-rad-bob> accident?
<neia_doll> so Im pretty skinny
<k-rad-bob> you got an abortion?
#5694
<Luke> spammers probably love receiving spam. "Grow your penis 150% overnight? Why didn't we think of that one!"
* delYsid has mortage, opportunity and penis in his score file.
<delYsid> thats pretty effective against spam
<Luke> aren't you worried about missing opportunities to mortgage your penis?
#54081
<Rjx> the big bang doesn't explain a lot about the internet
<Rjx> internet?
<Rjx> universe
<Rjx> what the fuck
#300634
<dmi> Wanted: HOWTO migrate Lasagne from Bowl to Plate using Knife and Fork.
<eoan> dmi: Spatula lasagneMover = new Spatula("knife", "fork");
<dmi> eoan: Good idea, but it throws a SurfaceAreaRangeException ("Available surface area too small")
<dmi> I can force it through, but it then throws all sorts of warnings about violation of structural integrity
<dmi> :(
#38357
<trekkeriii> anyone here?
<typobox43> My availability is inversely related to the toughness of your question.
#8830
<pr0k> I could do it when I was like 15, however, the pleasurable sensation of having a mouth on my penis was completely cancalled out by the sensation of having a penis in my mouth.
#8846
<IH8Pants> I was too talented for the football team
<IH8Pants> So I joined band
#1534
<Spin0ut> anubis's nick is cool
<Spin0ut> cuz it contains the words anus and bi
#2613
<kyourek> KEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEE!!
<DrWoody> ... What?
<kyourek> Just practicing my karate.
#305736
<Keyla> we had a fun customer today who came in with a very detailed handwritten list of components for a computer he wanted us to build for him
<Keyla> core i5 or i7, 6-8 GB of ram (or maybe 12), 2 hard drives (he specifically requested no raid)
<Keyla> for word processing
<_habnabit> Maybe he wanted to use OOo
#8506
<aversion> i was takin a dump today in the stalls
<aversion> and someone stuck their dick through a hole
<aversion> i didnt even get to finish
#304174
<Spance> "Certainly Java got a lot right - its used by 10 million developers."
<Spance> THERE ARE 350-500 MILLION CASES OF MALARIA A YEAR
<\> are you arguing that malaria isn't successful?
#381
<^0_o^> i'm a girl's dream!
<^0_o^> if only i had a chance to prove myself...
<DooD> a paper bag will give u many chances
<DooD> if they cant see the face, they cant use the mace
#14217
<FL|Work> feck, forgot to pay my stupid tax
<Pi|Mu|Rho> you get taxed on stupid? That's going to be one hefty bill.
<marek> he could fund 3 new hospitals all by himself
#303515
&Akensai: i just brutally slaughtered some russian asshat
&Akensai: called me an elephant penis in russian
&Akensai: so i let him know i could understand russian
&Akensai: by calling him 2 week old moldy dick juice
&Akensai: now we're friends.
#305281
<RGM79> so yeah, the java instructor thought it was necessary to warn us
<RGM79> because of something that happened years ago for one of his classes
<RGM79> we are told explicitly that we can't write code in MS word
<RGM79> and that he does not grade .doc files
#254207
<+GaidinBDJ> What format should a resignation letter be if the letter is neither required nor expected?
<smadge1> SMS
Comment: #fark
#7766
*** booger is now known as BROADCAST
* BROADCAST MESSAGE FROM ETG OPS: we all suck here tonight, so we are going to bounce chanserv a few times then disco ky-hub-1.etg.sucks.com and force a few netsplits on zaire-congo-hub-gw.etg.africa.org just because - vd whiz
#22907
<LordCrank> you're a closet pedophile.
<goatasaur> closet?
#10931
-(+MinioN5000)- k
-(+MinioN5000)- installing
-(+MinioN5000)- oh shit
-(+MinioN5000)- illegal operation
-(+MinioN5000)- wtf
* @Cuthbert calls the police
#3973
<Ouroboros> suds: You are drunk, we are sober. Why are you sad?
<suds> i dunno
<suds> maybe cuz all the chicas at the club were so underage it was like walkin into jail
*** suds has some standards
<suds> noone under 18
<suds> now that i'm 22
<Ouroboros> I only have 2 standards.
<Ouroboros> A left one and a right one.
#302208
<erin> Dammit, Windows! I KNOW the program is not responding. That's why I'm trying to close it.
#28353
<pL1> atomic clocks are for wussies... i use the sun to tell the time...
<Blaxthos> sun doesn't sync well
<Blaxthos> with the 8 minute lag and all
#14697
<kRadD3ViL> fUk1n n0n-31337 h4x0rz! t4lk l1k3 n00bZ!!!!
<evildewr> hey, i used to speek like that.. but it don't make you leet with women
<kRadD3ViL> WhY u s4y d4t n00b?
<evildewr> cuz my girlfriend dumped me for using numbers when we communicated
<kRadD3ViL> u h4d a g1rlfr13nd? fuk1ng 31337!!!!! g1rls s0und 1337!
#42327
<Lanmut> what is a haiku?
<Lanmut> i have heard of them before...
<Lanmut> but never seen one