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#5362
<RvLeshrac> I wonder about stores that get shot up in movies.
<RvLeshrac> What do they say when it's all over with?
<RvLeshrac> "Hello, Mutual Insurance? Yes, I'd like to know if my policy covers gangland shootouts."
#46368
<Malygris> Hey, interesting. I just got an email offering 20% off rabbits.
<Malygris> So I clicked it. I like rabbits. They're cute, and I have lots of other animals anyway,
so a rabbit or two might be cool.
<Malygris> Turns out that "rabbit" is apparently some sort of slang for neon-coloured dildos with
anal stimulators.
<Malygris> Good prices, though.
#57165
<jnz> I spilt Mountain Dew on my keyboard a few times and it left some thick syrupy stuff I never really decided to clean off. I've also spilt drinks on my cable modem and in my surge protector. Everything still worked fine.
<jnz> I move into an apartment close to my college for a semester and sugar ants appeared out of nowhere and would swarm my computer and electronics at night. In a week or so my cable modem, surge protector, and keyboard were completely clean and syrup free. Ants rock.
#302356
<Jesus> it gets worse as they get mobile.
<Jesus> I'm pretty convinced that's why most families are smaller: children have gotten better at cockblocking.
<pjustice> there's evolution for you
<Jesus> it's darwinian, after all -- if they can successfully prevent other procreation by their parents, they get a larger piece of the pie.
<Jesus> my 4-year old can now climb the stairs silently.
<paul> holy shit
<paul> nooooooooooo
<Jesus> I tend to wake up as he's running, silently, full bore at my side of the bed.
* Jesus nods
<Jesus> thankfully, the doors still shut.
<paul> they figure doorknobs out too, right?
<paul> they're like little velociraptors
<paul> CLEVER BOY
#304793
Phil: C++ is java's uncle that never comes to visit, and had half his face blown off when he stepped on a landmine, also he's a pedophile.
Phil: But he's the industry standard.
#265238
<celeste> i was going to give her a lapdance if it seemed appropriate
<celeste> but i mean....
<celeste> why wouldn't it be?
<ilanbg> my opinion is that lapdances are appropriate by default
<ilanbg> and only in extreme cases are they inappropriate
<ilanbg> e.g. if you have a kid in your lap
<ilanbg> that's really the only example I can think of
#4838
<Twingy> almost as annoying as you dal, except your hear longer
<DAL9000> that would be almost insulting if it were grammatically correct
#24600
<kak> Alereon you're a dumb fucking cunt thanks for your help i'm going to go commit suicide
<@Alereon> I love it when problems solve themselves!
#52744
<Nanuq> Steakk: "Which of the following would you most prefer? A: A puppy, B: A pretty flower from your sweetie, or C: A large properly formatted data file?"
<Steakk> Nanuq: depends...whats in the data file?
#12089
<_luther_> Canada.. great place. They started a country and no one showed up.
#11145
<choconado> aggh...horrible no cut and paste in mirc :(
<Saber> yes there is
<Saber> by selecting the text it's automatically copied to your clipboard
<Saber> you need to select from left to right
<choconado> my version doesn't do that...it puts up a finger icon
<choconado> oh wait...
<choconado> dude...i've had mirc for two and a half fucking years, and i learn this NOW?!?
#29037
<naga> so how long can nicknames be?
<parnbl00d> pretty long
* naga is now known as nagaiseatingpie
<nagaiseatingpie> cool
* naga is now known as nagalikeslongdicks
<nagalikeslongdicks> nicks! nicks!
<nagalikeslongdicks> shit
#2721
<MiddleSF2> wow 80 people eh? I thought irc would be closed on x-mas eve ^_^
#13634
<me tarzan> someone please tell me the name of disk 2 in the curse
<Huz> Tarzan: "Disk 2". You should be able to find it in the CD case you got when you bought the game. It's quite distinct, being the only other CD in there other than "Disk 1", which is also clearly labelled.
#7148
<_Rojo_> I want to compile her kernel
<_Rojo_> christ
<_Rojo_> computer-geek foreplay
#13094
<SexcBlnde> I want a creamy chicken pizza
<Bart> yeah same! but I want meatlovers
<SexcBlnde> Hmm
<Bart> we could get half and half!
<SexcBlnde> ?? LOL like who will buy the other 2 halves?? ?;)
<Bart> you are joking right?
<SexcBlnde> ??whatttt??
#16734
ForeverDamnation: Ben wants to chew on some penis.
blx001: you mean snickers
ForeverDamnation: No, I believe I mean penis.
blx001: no you mean snikers
SmiLex05: is that was the gay communty calls it now
#71701
<[TL]seFFYLIGht> I see that the kid that was leeching my sig from my photobucket account took it down after I changed the file to a large image that said "I suck cocks, heehee."
Comment: #tremulous@quakenet
#71690
<Dr_Pressure> eBay feedback score for user "iaintpayinyou": -1
<Dr_Pressure> Two feedback: "Never sent payment after winning bid and promising to send"
<Dr_Pressure> and "Never sent payment after several contacts"
<Dr_Pressure> it's all in the name, people
#13211
<PJ> Ok
<PJ> let me get this straight...
<PJ> Your pregnant wife shoved speed down your throat during sex?
<Covert22-UNS> Yup pretty much
#25640
<pvah> when i got my cable modem.......i had to get rid of about 4 friends in order to manage my time
#2922
<Snag> on another note
<Snag> you know any fake tan shit i can buy?
<eldee> fake tan shit?
<eldee> wtf?
<Snag> ya
<Snag> i have supah white arms
<eldee> go to a tanning booth, give the bitch 5 bux and stick your arm in the pipe dude
#68041
<bubba> don't they have laws against lying in advertising?
<bubba> this coax cable i just bought says "Connects satellite and digital cable sources with no signal loss"
<glasnost> "Comes with complementary 'Fuck you, second law of thermodynamics' bumper sticker"
#2157
[16:18] <novocain> shit its 4:20
[16:19] *** THC_420 (VR66@24.102.63.76) has joined #winprog
#1193
<|Chris> i want you to setup a word substitution in your head
<|Chris> whenever you see the term "wrestling," i want you to think, "white trash"