Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#43688
<RedBeard> should i buy an xbox vga adapter for $75?
<RedBeard> i think i shall buy one.
<Syntacs> You could your TV.
<Hippo> He *could* his TV, Syntacs! That's right!
* Hippo pats Syntacs.
<Syntacs> I don't have time for verbs Hippo. I'm a man of action. I realize this may seem contradictory at first.
#6545
<Goodlookinguy17> if anyone wants to cyber with a hot 17 year old male, message me
<Owaru> if anyone wants to hear desperate pleas of attention by a decrepit 17 year old weirdo, msg me!
<Owaru> i'll make you sound like you're normal!
#13599
<Sumez> Jar: I can't believe you don't know what a Skoda is
<Aximili> Sumez: I can't believe you don't know what a Hasemalphaginnojinglanaporphomism is
<Sumez> Axi: I do, oh I do
<Aximili> What is it, then?
<Sumez> Axi: a reversed contradicting metamorph phrased as an anagram
<Aximili> Sumez: Damn.. you did know..
#25190
<Delidgamond> Naw, hoping it was the truth
<Delidgamond> I am the sexiest man alive after all
<Delidgamond> I mean, what woman WANT to get it on with me
<Delidgamond> fuck
<Delidgamond> said that wrong
<Malbi> no you said it correct
#794
<ckx> part of the problem with christains
<ckx> is they're so gullible
<DigDug> ckx: isn't that why they're christians in the first place?
<ckx> heh good point
#253988
<Fox> oh yeah, mr little brother got in trouble at his college today, it was pretty funny
<Fox> the first day of a huge lab class and the teacher was trying to introduce himself and be friendly with everyone, and asked "Are there any stories you'd like me to tell about myself?"
<Fox> and my brother wasn't paying attention and half asleep so he said out loud what he was thinking at the time, what he meant to say to himself as a joke
<Fox> "Tell us about the first time you masturbated"
<Fox> he said the teacher turned bleach white, and the girls in the class turned red, the rest were laughing
#10261
<mindran> ok i'm going to be fired
<mindran> i made some thing generate random passwords for this app i just made
<mindran> and sent it out
<mindran> and some of them are horrible :(
<mindran> i dont want to be the person who's password is now "hard14long"
<mindran> or "like10come"
#297762
<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"
#308362
<Pryoidain> Finally developed a working method for discovering if it's going to be a good day or a bad day.
<asaph> Do tell?
<Pryoidain> So I sleep RIGHT NEXT to my phone. Like it's two inches from my face if shit blows up at 3AM because waking me requires an atomic attack.
<Pryoidain> Anyways, first thing I do every morning, even before glasses, is grab it, hit the screen button, and see if there are any alerts.
<asaph> right.
<Pryoidain> My background now has 2+2=? on it. If at any point between the first pressing of the screen button and managing to reach the pot of coffee i think "22" then I immediately go the fuck back to bed.
#304344
<Foone> my oatmeal is impressive
<Foone> it has separate instructions for making oatmeal with 1 packet or with 2 packets
<Foone> if you want to make it with 1 packet, you pour into a bowl and add 1/2 cup of hot water and stir
<mathrick> hahah, what?
<Foone> if you want to make it with 2 packets, you pour into a bowl and add 1 cup of hot water and stir
<Foone> I THINK I COULD HAVE FIGURED OUT THE SECOND ONE ON MY OWN
<mathrick> no twist ending?
<Foone> NOPE
<Foone> they don't provide instructions for making it with 3 packets, though
<Foone> but they provide a number to call with questions
<mathrick> DO IT
#16812
Pat877: nice...
OB1Jenobe: w3rd
Pat877: ok stop that
OB1Jenobe: wh4t?
Pat877: i don't under stand that crap.. and u know it
OB1Jenobe: 0 |<
Pat877: dick
#310654
<Jigsy^Vol> My favorite episode of Star Wars was when Kirk got assimilated by the Darleks.
#302208
<erin> Dammit, Windows! I KNOW the program is not responding. That's why I'm trying to close it.
#852
<doraemon`> one of my best friends sells herself for 150 bucks a trick
<doraemon`> she rules
#2160
<TheMyst> hey, anyone here use a radar detector?
<Customz> yes why myst?
<Customz> i only use it so i know when to stash the blunt
<Customz> fuck speeding
#246970
<zach[w]> You know, I really think the phrase "Wookiees can load their bowcasters with both standard and explosive-tipped quarrels.[citation needed]" is a perfect description of Wikipedia.
#820
<TwiLyght> Toby on @#gayphonesex @#gaydads4sons @#gayteensex @#gayboysex @#gayteenboys
<TwiLyght> ack!
<TwiLyght> you dirtied my computer with /whois toby
#18431
<xbain> "statistics show that teen pregnancy significantly drops off after age 25"
#31097
<Kalin35> hey are u there
<apathy13> Yeah, I'm here.
<Kalin35> can some 1 gain access to an win98 comp.
<apathy13> Can I gain access to your ass?
<Kalin35> could u
<apathy13> Well that's entirely up to you, ya know.
<Kalin35> do u know how
<apathy13> Yeah, wit' a little lube and some determination, I think I could hack it.
<Kalin35> even if i had a firewall up
#118151
(+ware) I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and
(+ware) slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get sooo
(+ware) stressed and life seems to get funny?
(+ware) Well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car,
(+ware) looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
(+ware) So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"... and
(+ware) THAT'S when the fight started . .
#63513
<RMD> hulk hogan is apparently gonna be there.
<Diddgery> hulk hogan !?!?!?!?!
<Terusama> why would Hulk Hogan be at a Pokemon festival o.o
<Terusama> that's weird
<Diddgery> POKEMON TRAINER HULK HOGAN wants to fight!!
<Apophis> He probably thinks he gets to beat the hell out of them himself.
<Diddgery> HULK HOGAN sent out HULKHOGAN
<Diddgery> HULKHOGAN used BODY SLAM
<Diddgery> It's super-effective!
<RMD> MEGA PUNCH
<RMD> GLARE
<RMD> SUBMISSION
<RMD> uh
<Diddgery> haha perfect
#41395
<Hateworkboy> but this is IRC! the R stands for Racism!
<Elyscape> International Racist Communion
#6871
Abyss: i deeply resent the use of the term 'purity' in any context with 'The Brothers Drunk.' :)
Phil: Oh I dunno. The purity of the alcohol is an important concept...
Dex: Yup, anything filtered through that many kidneys is going to have to be pure.
#16793
<`bb20> i have some definition, but i want it to be cut
<`Munky> i can cut you if you like let me get my plastic rusty spoon
<`bb20> hold on...let me get my tetanus shot
#41030
(@RIds) haha fourex i just thought of somethin youd find funny
(@RIds) when a stack of us went to byron on mid sem holidays
(@RIds) we had weed left over on the last day
(@RIds) and robbo mixed about 20bucks worth into a 2min noodles pack and made 'ganja noodles'
(@fourex) hahahahahaha
(@Rids) i passed out on a lounge and he apparently spent an hour 'trying to get all the gravity off me'
Comment: #bc on irc.uq.edu.au