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#170338
* xxalucard is AFK, zzz —I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n—
<Bisqwit> xxalucard: Please remove your public away messages.
* xxalucard is AFK, zzz. Gone now for:«5mins» (Pager is On, /ctcp xxalucard Page <message>) —I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n—
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* xxalucard (i=xxalucar@ool-45750917.dyn.optonline.net) has joined #nesvideos
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#309205
< radiofree> around the time the UK was planning to introduce id cards, i was walking down the high street and some hippy handed me a flyer "NO2ID", a campaign group opposed to government id cards, stating things like privacy etc...
< radiofree> at the bottom it said "Join our facebook group"
#4381
<@Raz> I LIVE ON THE EQUATOR..."JUAN, THE WATER IS STUCK AGAIN"
#6935
<rayena> Oh great.. I'm covered with salad again
<michael> Lesbian salad wrestling, on the next Jerry Springer
#1674
<SlimZ> i like my pickup line
<SlimZ> "move i need to get a drink"
#44809
<laid_back> haha man get this so my brother got suspended from school today
<teqman> what did he do
<duffman> what did he do
<laid_back> cause he says to one kid "hey would you have sex with a fat kid" and this other kid goes "no why" and then my brother goes "cause nash (another kid) is really desperate"
<laid_back> so nash say "tell it to the teacher"
<laid_back> and my brother goes "hey mister smith would you have sex with a fat kid" and the teacher got this weird look on his face and ran down to the office and told the principal
<laid_back> and so the principal is talking to my brother and he says "you were insinuating that mr smith was a child molester" and my broither goes "NO, what insinuated that he was a child molester was the way he reacted"
<laid_back> so they suspended him
Comment: #system on irc.dal.net
#7432
<Orz> How old are you jennjenn?
<Orz> 12 right?
<jennjenn> 12??
<Orz> Yeah, comes after 13.
<Orz> Idiot.
#31260
DaveyHasAFetish: I hate women because I hear my mom masturbate.
#305435
<chuzz> whats the thing you put in /etc/make.conf to make make make concurrently?
#7486
<hopi> let's talk about my need for once
<hopi> er wrong window
#51024
<hahacornut> I need visual aids for my presentation tomorrow
<Narcissus> go to visual africa
#14079
<Mantis> Sorry guys, I've got to go and spend some time with the gf
<Mantis> brb
#56318
KhaosIsOrder: you suck
xyzzy: for a nominal fee
#35800
TheAntiCrust: WTF is an installshield??? To defend me vs. the install dragon?
#298061
* em-pregnated is now known as emily`
< postscript> woha
< postscript> aborted?
#301631
[Thrasher]: there needs to be Star Wars themed snacks
[Thrasher]: Chewy granola bars
[Thrasher]: C3PO Henry bars
[Thrasher]: and the moneymaker
[Thrasher]: Han Rolos!!
[Buchwald]: /block
[Buchwald]: /ignore
[Buchwald]: /delete
[Buchwald]: Goddammit one of these has to work
[Buchwald]: /kill
[Thrasher]: come on!! HAN ROLOS!
[Buchwald]: /abort
[Buchwald]: /put up for adoption
[Buchwald]: FUUUUUUUUUUUCK
[Thrasher]: sorry youve heard
[Thrasher]: you laughed
[Thrasher]: and now youll remeber it forever
[Buchwald]: I went to a sushi place last night that offered something called the "That's How I.." roll. And I thought that was the worst pun I'd hear all week. 15 hours later, you top it.
[Thrasher]: haha
[Thrasher]: "Han Rolos!! Share them with your friends...don't be Greedo"
[Thrasher]: too far?
[Buchwald]: I hate to admit it, but that line finally got me to laugh
[Thrasher]: Emperor Pralines: Your feeble powers are no match for the Dark Nougat
Comment: Thrasher continued on for another five minutes
#64256
(+wolrah) I need to get a job building fire extinguishers.
(+wolrah) I just realized the greatest way to say "I quit"
(+wolrah) Fill them with gasoline
#29706
<Charc> Requel Welch looks good holding anything
<Gangor> not now she doesn't
<Charc> she could be holding my dead grandfathers rotting, maggot ridden penis in her hands, and the photo would still be art
<Gangor> you sick, sick man
#297499
[~binarybandit] What did the Buddha say to the hot dog vendor? "Make me one with everything."
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq, irc.p2p-network.net
#235
<noss> wank in a thunder storm, it will make you feel like Thor
#14485
<jodaro> hmm, my mom just invited me over for dinner
<jodaro> mm, free food
<stu> you mean your mum doesn't charge for dinner?
<jodaro> no
<stu> damn
#152127
<@jig[g]ster> yeah ignore me i'm on acid :P (methamphetaminelly speaking)
<@jig[g]ster> er, metaphorically*
#29452
<@parasyte> I went straight towards my room where my nice large full size bed I had since I was 5 years old awaited me. I opened the door and...
<@parasyte> ... there is my sister, riding her fat boyfriend, fucking his brains out.
<@parasyte> My first thought was, "Wow, she had perky tits". My second thought was, "Wow, so does he",
#51285
<Retro> THE MIRACLE OF CELL DIVISION
<Retro> o
<Retro> 0
<Retro> 8
<Retro> oo
#46089
[@nmx] phone: ring ring
[@nmx] me: hello?
[@nmx] woman: is lewis there?
[@nmx] me: no, you have the wrong number
[@nmx] woman: really? the last name is spelled g-e-
[@nmx] me: no, you still have the wrong number