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#205994
Karl(10:34):hey, i'm after a little business advice. do you think it's ok to add the line "pay up you worthless mother*****" to the end of my statements to overdue clients?
Anika (10:47):Yes, that's standard business practice. I also add "All y'all niggaz be trippin if yuh try and play a playah, y'all end up dining on a bullet." That's actually legally binding.
#27969
<@kingmob> yeah, it's definitely a three-cup-of-coffee day
<@kingmob> have to go the fucking laundromat
<@kingmob> or do i?
* kingmob searches desperately for even one more pair of boxers
#6147
<bpshuler> it all comes down to what your goal is. and once again, because people don't want to figure out on their own what they want, they allow marketers to dictate it to them, then act on it. frustrates me to no end
<Yawgatog> I want Super Mario World for Game Boy Advance. That'll rule!
#30957
<nomad> everything loads so fast on this computer
<nomad> I have no time to decide what I will do next
#35954
06:18 <Lanfear> yesterday, I was stroaking a cat that laid on a friend's lap..
and, well. I was scratching the cat's tummy and stuff, when I
suddenly became aware of that it was a bit too close to the guy's
crotch
#16557
<Roberto> My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
#6056
<Guyver3> koolaid time
<Guyver3> what today
<Guyver3> strawberry kiwi
<Guyver3> strawberry kiwi lemonade
<Guyver3> mountain berry blast
<Guyver3> or blood of the preacher's daughter?
<kingmob> the blood one. definitely.
#243532
stephen: i win bitch
reese: i was lagging
stephen: wtf
reese: yeah dude total lag
stephen: we were playing chess...
#25257
<NyseriA> at uni we asked this lad why the carpet was a different colour under this computer desk, he said that he had spilled an eggcup of bleach :D What made it worse though was that there was a lass sat on his beanbag on teh floor and she said, did you spill it upwards onto the keyboard shelf bottom as well :P
#291749
<+Max[Tea`age]> just sneezed my headphones across the room
#10926
<Macca_> hi all
<Macca_> can anyone help me with uninstalling WindowsME, it hasn't been as
easy as i thought it might be
#33207
<mjc> # Phone Sales Representative: "Will you be paying by credit card?"
<mjc> # Customer: "Yes."
<mjc> # Phone Sales Representative: "Ok, I need your credit card number and your name as it appears on the card, please."
<mjc> # Customer: "WHAT?!? I'm not giving my credit card to you over the phone! Then your company will have access to it!"
#2805
<LrdZombie> So last night my sister comes in and wants to borrow a dvd. She goes "What do you have that I'd like?" and i go, "Well, I got Goonies, Dark Crystal, and Adventures of Baron Munchausen." She goes "I just saw goonies. Which is better, dark crystal or baron munchausen?"
<_Shorty> haha
<LrdZombie> "Do you want to sleep tonight?" "Yes." *hands her baron munchausen.*
<blazemore> tsk tsk.. laughing before the punch line
#14510
<nightfal> diffused: Runtime().exec() is just a shortcut to
((Satan)System.getPropety("SATAN")).burnMyFaceOff(). Don't do it
#183485
<Vincerific> /quit
<Vincerific> i wanted to see if he would go "/quit?"
<Vincerific> and log off
<Vincerific> XD
<Scarecrow> lol I remember you tried to fool me like that once Vince.
<Scarecrow> But I learnt how not to fail
<Scarecrow> >:)
* Scarecrow has quit IRC (Quit)
<Vincerific> LOL
#311335
< danl> being lazy and running everything as root is so much easier
< danl> lol
< danl> damn it
< danl> I screwed up my script and lost a years worth of access logs
#3158
<aNuBiS-> RaMTuFF: You should know better than to drive under the influence of a hard-on
#242631
<will_smith> gay people shouldn't be able to use the same bathroom as me
<Merihell{CD}> you shouldn't be able to use the same bathroom as anyone else
<will_smith> no really think about it
<will_smith> if gay men are able to use the same bathroom as me
<Merihell{CD}> it would turn them straight?
<will_smith> i should be able to use the same bathroom as women
<Merihell{CD}> and turn them gay?
#12065
*** Mank_Sleep is now known as Mank_DONOTBOTHERMANKHEISNOWLOO
*** Mank_DONOTBOTHERMANKHEISNOWLOO is now known as Mank_LOOKINGATCHICKSLICKEACHOT
*** Mank_LOOKINGATCHICKSLICKEACHOT is now known as Mank_PORNO
#297426
<Errdoth> Guess what I have that you don't.
<ichai> virginity?
<Errdoth> :(
#19342
<NonSequitur> Cthulhu tweaking his nip.
<SemiSquared> Jarp, women don't have boxes.
<Jarp> ...
<SemiSquared> Er wait...
<SemiSquared> That's packages.
<NonSequitur> rofl
<SemiSquared> Nevermind.
#44701
<usu_> Well, for the past weeks, Bush's approval rating has consistently been well below 50%.
<usu_> And you all know what that means, right?
<usu_> To put it in perspective, it means that if he were a quote on QDB, his score would be below 0.
<usu_> Huzzah!
#27399
<AdRock> I was looking through all my old pictures today, and I think I've found a common thread between all my old girlfriends, they'e all short
<Kweeky> Well, 8 year olds don't tend to be very big. :P
#25201
(+Mutsumi_Otohime): a m8 of mine had to go to the hospital, & worried the staff there by talking about how I had worms, of course, the staff didn't know he meant the game :P
#8732
<LordBlink> i once made out with a picture of the sorceress
<LordBlink> does that make me lame?