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#14382
<Kharn> D'ya think colouring my eye ball with a permanent marker will hurt?
#3275
<cynica_l> i hate babies
<Gollum`> i hate people
<cynica_l> i hate you
<profett> i have 3 guns
<profett> we can solve some problems
#16237
<MadHack-> i net 4200
<MadHack-> whereas i gross 6,666.66
<MadHack-> give or take
<MadHack-> quite the beastly salary
<MadHack-> 666 666 :(
<MadHack-> well, .67 i guess, technically
* MadHack- saves his soul through rounding
#31496
<tinman> Do you put antlers on your pussy?
<tinman> er
<tinman> that wasn't for this channel
#50342
<Shinji> Alright, let's put it this way.
<Shinji> Your body is a mansion, and your white blood cells keep it neat and tidy. AIDS comes along, and your WBCs go on vacation and AIDS is left over to watch the place.
<Shinji> They throw House Party 7
<Shinji> And invite all their disease friends for a wild and crazy time, trashing your body in the process
<Link> Then the whities come home and go "WTF!?"
<Shinji> The film goes direct to video and doesn't sell
<Shinji> THE END.
#16557
<Roberto> My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
#50265
<[WTF]ChemicalBurn> i have a pound of pepperoni sticks beside me... oh the wrath my bum will feel tomorrow
<MrGoodWrench^afk> he sticks them up his bum? :O
#8431
<DjShoryu> one time my friend got so drunk he thought legos were candy
<buttonsDIE> you mean like he ate them?
<DjShoryu> no, hes an artist
<DjShoryu> he built an apple , then ate it
#51235
<Kookykman> Are you within driving distance of Boston?
<Phlip> Sadly, no.
<Phlip> Sometimes I wish Australia was driving distance from the US...
<Phlip> unfortunately that isn't to be :(
<Phlip> lousy government
#3935
*** Signoff: Morpheus (Connection reset by peer)
*** Morpheus (vanford@host-209-214-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #relax
<Morpheus> argh.. that wasn't my speaker cable
#40241
(+bilious) My children will learn Linux
(+bilious) And we'll have battles of whether Gnome or KDE is better
(+bilious) And my kids will have arguments like "Shut up Geoffrey, KDE IS BETTER"
(+bilious) And Geoffrey will yell back "MUUUUMMM DADDD, Lisa changed my gui to kde again"
(+bilious) And I'll just tell him to rebuild his system from the image stored on the server
Comment: irc.uq.edu.au
#6842
<{Work}Logan> It feels like quitting time, and one should trust one's feelings.
#11442
<dan> what the hell is a ponzi scheme
<brian-w> where you go into a meeting with a leather jacket and go 'Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!'
<brian-w> and they give you money
#27459
<spazzer> last chick I screwed she hurt for a day afterwards
<spazzer> i got the nickname "the hammer" at work now from that
<spicrx7> hahaha
<spicrx7> spazzer works at a day care center
<spazzer> eww
<spazzer> you pedophile
<spicrx7> i'm not the one bangin 10yo's so hard they hurt for a day afterward
<spazzer> 35 year olds you mean
<spicrx7> yeah in dog years maybe
#5484
<cain> YOU COULD NOT GET PLAY IF YOU WALKED INTO A WHOREHOUSE WITH YOUR DICK SANDWICHED BETWEEN A AMEX AND A PLATINUM VISA
#34022
<munchingfoo> lol, that might make a funny chat up line
<Kibet> my favourite is "whats your favourite flavour of wood"
<Amaunet> huh?
<Kibet> it worked once
<Kibet> right enough she was a tad insane
#33393
<pott> now i'm no big fan of the strokes
<pott> but their new single is good
<Chris[ni]> i dont like the strokes either, and i havnt heard theyre new single, so i will not judge it until i have heard it
<Chris[ni]> but its bound to be shit
<pott> fuck you
#42441
EvilAngel remembers, a long time ago, when his bf at the time answered the door knowing it was jehovah's witnesses. naked. and... wet. :)
<EvilAngel> I remember hearing *door creak* "yyaah?" "Oh MY! I'm... soo sorry!" "No, no dude, it's all right, we just came, come on it!" "UhhNO! We'll.... come back later!"
<EvilAngel> "..... You SURE? We have enough lube for everyone!!"
#29449
<+NaruNaru> i have yet to find a girl with the correct md5checksum
#310347
<Rozzie-mob> Ohok
<Rozzie-mob> Apparently when I was younger I ate the dogs worming tablets
<Rozzie-mob> But it was okay because I took the correct dosage
#20141
<The_Enigmatic_Lemur> Hmm whats a nice sophisticated term to put on a resumé for fast food cook.
<Drain> ...
<ZS|GTA3> ...
<Geno|Morrowind> Hamburger Helper
<ZS|GTA3> Ahahah.
<Drain> ahaha
#17297
<Enhanced> but ya i'm gonna paint my intake on my car
<Enhanced> can i use spray paint?
<NT5> ummm..... what other kind of paint did you think there was available?? latex flat wall?
<Roppongi> finger paint
<Enhanced> i just dont wanna use paintbrush kind of paint
<NT5> lol
<NT5> paintbrush kind of paint.... that's good
<NT5> get out the roller billy-bubba
<Enhanced> well shit i dont know anything about paint
<Enhanced> except finger paint
<NT5> we gonna paint us a car
#79449
<Kwahraw> we thought it was funny to use the pay phones to dial the tampax tampon hotline....
<Kwahraw> and ask random, annoying questions
<Kwahraw> so, once i call up, and, in my best 'girl' voice, I say "ever since I began using your product, my period's been green..."
<Kitten> what the ..
<Kwahraw> she replies "young man, if you have a period at all, you need to see a doctor"
Comment: irc.austirc.org #austirc
#33
[17:05] *** D1 sets mode: +o C-Rock
<D1> oh wait, I was trying to kick you.
#35500
<SA-Magic> msg nickserv identify smallpenis