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#1552
<ckx> when i worked at the sub shop
<ckx> whenever a fat person would get a sub and a regular pepsi
<ckx> i'd be like "umm wouldn't you rather have a diet pepsi?"
<ckx> and they'd get all offended
<skmt> haha
<ckx> but they'd still get the diet pepsi instead
#299049
<Xagor> mexico legalized drugs for personal use
<Xagor> time for them to be on the receiving end of illegal immigration =P
#50265
<[WTF]ChemicalBurn> i have a pound of pepperoni sticks beside me... oh the wrath my bum will feel tomorrow
<MrGoodWrench^afk> he sticks them up his bum? :O
#14220
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I'm sure that somewhere out there is the
right girl for you . Unfortunately, I think "out there" is measured in
light years.
#5927
<@wickedsun> I dont know the difference between games and reality anymore
<@wickedsun> I jsut used a shotgun on my mother and she's not respawning
#184963
<Moozh> my co-worker is making giant penis monsters on the spore character generator
<Moozh> this is the best job
<Zyla> WHY IS IT ALWAYS COCKS
<Zyla> GIVE MAN A MEDIUM TO CREATE
<Zyla> AND THE FIRST THING
<Zyla> COCKS
<Zyla> the washington monument
<Zyla> bullets
<Zyla> rockets
<Zyla> ALL COCKS
<agwho> what was the apollo mission
<agwho> if not the chance to create giant cocks
#51643
<ryan`> god i fucking rule
<ryan`> my brother stole money from me
<ryan`> so i mixed elmers glue with a bit of water
<ryan`> then i spread some over my sisters little hand puppets
<ryan`> and threw it half way under his bed
<ryan`> now hes grounded all next week for "jacking off with her hand puppets"
#15770
<tober> I actually did the math once, and it's improbable that a million monkeys with a million typewriters (one typewriter per monkey) that all type at the rate of a good typist 24/365 would ever produce the collected works of shakespeare before the heat death of the universe. So there.
#3913
<ScumDog> Mexicans rock because down in Mexico they're too poor to update any of the arcade games
<ScumDog> so all the players rock at games on 12-year-old hardware
<ScumDog> not surprisingly, there's also a large concentration of Double Dragon champions there
#61302
<@Delphy> heh, a man died of dehydration when he became stuck between two water tanks
#34712
<@Joe> OMG - forgot the wife
<@Joe> my clock never changed
<@Joe> brb
Comment: Daylight savings time.
#10475
*** hep transubstantiated into SUPERMEGAHYPERKITTEN
*** SUPERMEGAHYPERKITTEN transubstantiated into SUPERMEGAPANTSLESSKITTEN
*** Starscream (eric@dis.gruntle.org) has joined channel #insub
<Starscream> hi.
<Starscream> i came in because hep has no pants.
#30306
<dedhed> Living within your means is totally where it's at
<Grifter> and by "within your means" you mean "with my parents" right?
#317
<Megumi> hahaha ASL nate :P
<NtG> yourage + 1/if you = female { me = male } else { me = female }/surrey
#50736
<comet1604> shit, my nose just started bleeding
<whackazog> lay off the cock
<comet1604> ?
<whackazog> errr, coke
#54864
<Scorbutus> now theres 3 questions you dont want to hear when sitting in a room full of computers...
<Scorbutus> "what was that noise?" "whats that smell?" and "wheres that smoke coming from?"
<Scorbutus> especially when the answer to all 3 is...my router
<Scorbutus> :(
#30413
<SpudMuffn> I jack off in the shower so much that I get a hard-on whenever it rains.
#12444
<Knamel> but its basically "I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but i'm the only one talking to you" <Knamel> And i follow that line up with "Comon baby, happiness is only a light switch away"
#105156
<Kefka> Okay seriously
<Kefka> wHAT
<Kefka> Is the point
<Kefka> Of this ignore systsem
<Kefka> -02:57.54- You are currently ignoring <Jouva> and <Jouva> tried to send you a PM: <Jouva> This is a test of the emergency furry system.
#601
<{ReNeGaDe}> ok why is no one writin back to me; what do i got no fingers to type with and im just imaginin writin all this?
#306959
Mew: "what do you do with a dead chemist?" "BARIUM!"
Mew: k im done failing
bryan: lol thats a tin on my scale
Mew: I do not know how to react to this
#14300
Phantbert> I work at a pizza place
Phantbert> and the smallest size pizza is called a 6-inch
Phantbert> so yesterday
Phantbert> I actually uttered the phrase
Phantbert> "I have a six inch sausage."
#12317
<gorilla> ANY GIRLS HERE
<Lan> yeah, wanna cyber?
<gorilla> YES
<gorilla> HOW
<Lan> sorta like this
* gorilla (gorilla@xxx.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<Lan> a little to the left
#7703
<Multus> Indeed. And, fear not, a sense of humor be not required for my employ, though a sense of direction helps, or perhaps a Yahoo! Map, for finding my land can be a chore in itself.
<Jolieve> (( Multus... you have been warned about the out of genre commentary... please cease and desist now, this is your final warning. ))
<Multus> Er...
<Multus> Forgive, I did not mean Yahoo! Maps. What madness do I speak? I, um, believe they are called Huzzah! Maps in this land. Yes?
#57727
<Grendel> I just got handed to torch of OH&S rep for the branch
<Grendel> Under humourous circumstances
<Grendel> I cut myself on a de-burring machine, yelled "FUCK" and got myself a bandaid
<Grendel> Our OH&S guy Damo said "You know where the bandaids are? Maybe you should be the rep instead of me"