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#1826
(Stacey```) justin can you please tell me where you work
(Stacey```) or teach me how to hack and find out
#306370
<Craige> Much better. Now I have spell checknig
<Craige> ...fail.
#39865
<@fez> .dice -1
<@Q> fez: A 2139451499 shows on the -1-sided die.
Comment: #maddox on irc.whatnet.org
#40757
<FlatEric> I'm bored
<FlatEric> where's my alcohol?
<nougatmachine> you could help me clean up dishes
<nougatmachine> that would give you something to do
<nougatmachine> I have a feeling that in the choice between booze and dishes, booze will win
* FlatEric looks to see how many dishes are in the sink
<FlatEric> yes
Comment: #macobserver, irc.hashmark.net
#3327
<Pluton> what extension is an Adobe eBook?
<feerit> .gay
#3661
<Kiteless> anyways, invite only is often a good thing
<Kiteless> unless youre talking about girls of course..
<ScumDog> Kidon's giving you delusions about girls who like games being 'hot'
<ScumDog> she's a serious rarity - remember that
<mightyflo> sell her on ebay
<Kiteless> 'hot gamer gf'
<mightyflo> LQQK!
#300876
Noopn Ale: 100MB left on the download
misterj: yeah, mine is done
Noopn Ale: Damn, you rolling with Comcast too?
misterj: what? naw, charter
Noopn Ale: Charter? Really? My GF told me that shit was horrible
misterj: well, she also told you your dick was big
Noopn Ale: :'(
#356
<Rapture> Tsk, it's [new processors] as bad as penis comparisons, really.
<rejs> but penises don't double in performance every 18 months...
#2391
<maff> you're such a sarcastabitch brett
<timmo`> if by sarcastic you mean sexy, then yes.
#3061
<MadScribe> i WILL NEVER EVER live below someone again
<MadScribe> he is apparently redoing the fucking floor
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> for the last fucking hour
<MadScribe> geezus
<toNe> you sure he's not just fucking his wife?
#310872
< wushin> bjorn not ded, bjorn is parent, parents are zombies because children are parasites
< wushin> Trust me, I'm someone's father.
< Kage> wushin: I would see a doctor about it
< wushin> We did several times.
< wushin> #KidsAreExpensive
#52717
-!- Vyk [~Vyk@dhcp19.public.ummu.umich.edu] has quit [Ping timeout: 198
seconds]
<@orange1> that would be vyk spilling root beer on his powerbook
Comment: he works in the cube next to mine. he yelled some might loud profanities.
#141262
<CoolCookieCooks> when i was a child i thought being disabled was another gender because they had seperate toilets.
#14355
<Shelstra> :((
<Shelstra> my poor fishie
<|KazzA|> :o what happened
<Shelstra> nothing but...
<Shelstra> one of his eyes is black
<Shelstra> i think he might be blind :(
<|KazzA|> aww
<Shelstra> we only just noticed it
<Mousey> like it cares anyway
<Mousey> theres not much to see
<staticx> every three seconds it will say 'holyfuck, i can only see out of one eye...'
#10165
BeHeMoTh101 : dude, this one time in school i was looking at this advertisement to a christian club
BeHeMoTh101 : and on the poster it said "who carries your load? jesus does."
BeHeMoTh101 : and i was like, wtf it's the scrotum
#58450
<Jamie_M> my first concussion was from a giant black guy hurling me across the room
<Jamie_M> note to you all: Dont play power rangers with giant black guys
#3998
<Donitz> Do you like waffles?! Do you like Nazi propaganda?! Then do we have the restaraunt for you!
#8453
<Dac> ok, what does 'LUG' on a rental property listing mean?
<tm> Lots of Ugly Guys
#61355
<mack> i totally got pwned by a spider this morning
<mack> there has been this garden spider living in the kitchen of my house, and i don't care because when summer nears it gets hot so flies come in and bug me...so i let him stay
<mack> so anyways. i wake up and grab my smokes and head for the sliding door to go out and have a smoke
<mack> i'm two feet away from the door when i walk into his web, and it scares the shit out of me cause i'm still half asleep
<mack> i stumble back and bump into the couch, flip over it as i lose my footing, and my legs crash into the coffee table, effectively splitting it in two
<mack> i'm laying there figuring out what just happened, and the spider bites my nose!
<mack> like HE'S having a bad day :/
#33898
<tito> the first rule of fap club is we do not talk about fap club
#3326
<skmt> DigDug, if you install a beaded seat cover, the value of your car will skyrocket
<SD_Washu> nah
<SD_Washu> all you have to do
<SD_Washu> is keep a big ol brick of heroin in the trunk
#22727
<Powerslave> haha love this ticket pushed to me from our help desk: "modem making squeeking sound when connecting, needs replaced"
#30588
* @cagey strangles the fuck out of the verizon guy
<@cagey> CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW, MOTHERFUCKER?!
#27960
<Monkey> I once ate at an Irish restaurant in China Town, D.C.
* Monkey tries to be topical
* waider rubs monkey on his skin and breaks out in a rash.
<waider> you're not a very good topical.
<@kingmob> discontinue monkey if rash appears
#62493
<misterx> Want a pic?
<NoelCower> No.
<NoelCower> Unless it's a dickgirl
<NoelCower> And then only if she has two dicks
Comment: #blitzcoder - irc.blitzed.org