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#300808
<@Aprentice> girls who fuck animals should be put in a mental institute
<Rjx> or on TV
#29442
<obso> christ
<obso> you get drunk and make out with a guy
<obso> and all of a sudden all of irc is on yer ass
<obso> my girlfriend thought it was cute.
#58023
<ahanix1989> I'm two people short of a threesome :(
#45975
<EccleS> EriK: I'm more concerned about lying helpless in the dentists chair, while some trained sadist waves electrical equipment in my face
<capgadget> Just grab the dental nurses crotch. At least you will have an excuse.
<capgadget> Unless it is a male nurse.
<capgadget> THen you are up shit creek.
<capgadget> Unless he's gay.
<_Arthur> gays often go up shit creek
#31335
<adem> on further contemplation, halle berry really isn't all that hot, is she?
*** You were kicked by d4n (who stole your hetrosexuality?)
#308323
< ShaRose> not sure if talking about religion or my little pony
#16812
Pat877: nice...
OB1Jenobe: w3rd
Pat877: ok stop that
OB1Jenobe: wh4t?
Pat877: i don't under stand that crap.. and u know it
OB1Jenobe: 0 |<
Pat877: dick
#36336
<@fusionrock> haha, da's mainpage has an ad for generic viagra
<@BlackIce> no kevin, they're targeted at each user.
#34908
* ^Sn4iK throws a playstation at liberty_
* tharaka catches it, and sells it like the pawning black man he is
#104056
<Spy^> Can someone help me plz ?
<ViciousPotato> As a great man once said
<ViciousPotato> If you say 'plz' because it's shorter than 'please', I'll say 'no' because it's shorter than 'yes'.
<Spy^> lol
<Spy^> can someone help me please -_-
#41030
(@RIds) haha fourex i just thought of somethin youd find funny
(@RIds) when a stack of us went to byron on mid sem holidays
(@RIds) we had weed left over on the last day
(@RIds) and robbo mixed about 20bucks worth into a 2min noodles pack and made 'ganja noodles'
(@fourex) hahahahahaha
(@Rids) i passed out on a lounge and he apparently spent an hour 'trying to get all the gravity off me'
Comment: #bc on irc.uq.edu.au
#32825
(+Genix) wtf
(+Genix) i just got a spam mail that claimed it would "shrink my penis"
(+BalefireX) did you read it?
(+Genix) :(
(+BalefireX) you didnt need to, did you...
(+Genix) of course it wasn't actually for what it said
(+Genix) it was a porn site
(+Genix) but none the less wtf
Comment: #gideontech
#1578
<calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
<ecoli> ew.
<ecoli> wait, you "caught" him?
<ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
<Aero> he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)
#1193
<|Chris> i want you to setup a word substitution in your head
<|Chris> whenever you see the term "wrestling," i want you to think, "white trash"
#6611
<@meiso> he was trying to secure his server and made the root filesystem un-writeable
#48642
<Kogita> My car is doing better than ever. The gas tank used to hold $9 worth of gas, now it holds $13 worth.
#17086
<kethepoo> i remember the first time windows said "this program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down", and i was worried that they found out about the porn i had looked at
#32534
* Lizking unzips pants
* Lizking reveals CHAINSAW PENIS
*** Lizking has been kicked off channel #voices by JB (No one wants to see that.)
Comment: #voices on darkmyst
#20749
xenophile: been awhile since i've done a mailman
xenophile: DO NOT PUT THAT ON BASH>ORG!!@@!!@
#4715
<@Spidey> you can get stamps anywhere
<@Spidey> grocery store, convenient store
<@Spidey> ;[
<@Spidey> -t+ce?
<@josho> setting modes on your sentences again, addict?
#2160
<TheMyst> hey, anyone here use a radar detector?
<Customz> yes why myst?
<Customz> i only use it so i know when to stash the blunt
<Customz> fuck speeding
#308130
<Adorable> On a scale of Helen Keller to Osama Bin Laden, how good is my hiding spot?
#9684
<darw> where did they drop the hiroshima bomb?
#77966
<jsoftw> What is the function in php that fast forwards the time of day to 5pm so I can go home?
<ericz> mktime?
<jsoftw> I tried that but its still 2pm
<Anthony2> sleep()
<jsoftw> I tried that too but angry_boss() conflicts it
<Anthony2> die()
<jsoftw> No that means I dont get to do interesting things on the weekend
Comment: ##php on freenode
#301383
<Biff> i bought a server off ebay this past friday, and they said SHIPPED WITHIN TWO BUSINESS DAYS
<Biff> i'm still waiting for a response, a tracking number, ANYthing...
<Biff> and this seller has like, a 99.99% positive rating, with like, 60,000+ ratings
<Biff> i'm gonna turn that shit into 99.98