Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#45395
VitViper: what do you want your zx2 to be?
VitViper: a 1/4 mile sprinter
VitViper: or a mean freeway dragger?
PcChip2: a badass motherfucking pizza delivery car
#59146
<madman> Perhaps I'm a bit racist.
<madman> This Mexican guy called saying he was interested in the car I was selling, so I give him the directions to my house.
<madman> I see him pull up in his truck, and so I go outside to greet him, guess what I say?
<madman> "Hey Pedro!"
<madman> I'm about to apologize when he says, "How'd you know my name? I didn't even tell you!"
<madman> Talk about lucky.
#32843
(mUnky`) instead of putting in the softener *into my washing*, i put in a similar yellowish liquid - apple juice. ><
(mUnky`) MY FKN WASHING SMELLS LIKE APPLE JUICE!
(mUnky`) =X
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
(mUnky`) theyre in identical bottles
(mUnky`) they look a little the same
(mUnky`) and i was puttin the stuff in at 2am
(mUnky`) ><
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) good work man
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) how do they feel?
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) soft?
(mUnky`) theyre... ...... soft... a little
(mUnky`) but i smell like fkn apple juice!
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) "man where do u get your fabric softner" "oh u know, the juice isle"
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) HAHAHAHAH
Comment: mUnky had to rewash all his clothes.
#15654
<Dead_Poets_Society> Phuser has this talent to point out the obvious
<Phuser> Dead_Poets_Society is receiving oral sex from a hamster
#39802
<jo> fiendish....
<jo> u have never been a pain in my ass
<jo> just so ya know
<Telnus> cuz his weenie's too small to be a pain
* Telnus rimshot!
<jo> how do u know?
<Telnus> THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER
#7749
<ViViD> Dude I'm still getting 20ms pings!
<RTT> err thats normal
<ViViD> Yeah but I just doubled my upload bandwidth!
<RTT> Yes?
<ViViD> Well why hasn't my ping halfed?
<RTT> Dude doubling your upload bandwidth wont affect your ping
<ViViD> Shutup you geek
#8449
<undrewb> you know max, while the paralympics were very inspiring, you shouldnt let them delude you into thihnking all retards can achieve the impossible :)
#15932
<Zorix> fuckin sob.. one of utelfla's routers is down
<Zorix> i only got half the internet
#15024
<river> actually...i don't think there are many levels of monogamy
<river> it's a boolean thing
#6128
<ambrgone> the way i figure it, if the hard drives go at 7200rpm on 12V, on
240V, they should go.... EVEN FASTER!!!!!
#181576
<@rob> the trolls that are in #flirts are internet trolls. stacy`` is the kind of troll that lives in the ground and under bridges and asks tolls of people passing over her
<@Phrang> oh, i've heard of that profession.
#1383
<Guilty> Thank god I'm sensible and had myself neutered
#297065
Josh: it's amazing that people don't simply think "apostrophe's replace missing letters in a contraction" and use them correctly
Mike: ...please tell me that was intentional and sarcastic
Mike: because otherwise it's going in quotes.txt. and nothing ever gets removed from quotes.txt
#128043
<AtropaBelladonna> some girl (shes like a bit older than me) calls up every year like cockwork "had another kid. more money"
<daffodil> HAHAHAHAHA
<Valtieri> Cockwork alright
<AtropaBelladonna> best typo ever!
#169868
<+Tim__> `hey al, tell me all about your day` > /dev/null
#21952
<Betharoni> My internet connection is so slow tonight, I think it's being sent to a train depot, translated into one's and zero's, manually typed and sent by a telegraph wire to the server, where it's manually recompiled to one's and zero's for the machine. By two-year-old's.
#43394
<hman> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on
<hman> Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large
<hman> elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections, but absolutely no
<hman> recollection of what to do with them.
#4360
<DrWoody> <intra> I want to propose to my wife with a giant foam #1 finger instead of a ring.
<RastaSaf> of course the correct answer to that quote would be: how long did it take the doctors to remove it from you?
#33648
<+jeef> i had a dream about beastiality and i woke up with an erection :/
#9396
<evad> speaking of fucking sheep..
<Vod> what would you know about fucking sheep? I bet you don't even know about the making the right slits in your wellington boots to put their back legs down so they can't get away?
#8679
<toNe> Nall is like an xbox
<Nall> thank you
<toNe> big, heavy, not fun, and useless!
<Soopa> good graphics though...
<Soopa> and easy to develop for...
<toNe> and you have to pay extra to get all the features
<Soopa> and will be dead in a year
<acetonic> and Bill Gates spends Billions on it
<Nall> who will die
#7429
<@a> i should get "butt plug" tattooed on my cock
#2355
<sparkly> so i have to do this project in my class where we have to make up a store and create a logo and shit
<sparkly> and my name of the store is gonna be called "less than three"
<sparkly> and the packaging is gonna have a big <3 on it
#1419
<|Chris> you couldn't get a man if you opened your ass like the goatse.cx guy and walked around a prison yard
#4877
<cade> zzz, you wanna kill yourself or something?
<zZz-> cade, I've attempted so many times and failed, it's not even funny..
<zZz-> Accually, it is kinda funny.