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#10837
<Keeper> ooooh, another dead mouse
<Keeper> I think it was a radioactive mouse too, cos as soon as the mousetrap snapped, the TV reception died for a second
<Deke> keeper has mice?
<Keeper> not anymore :P
#21765
<mom> !eightball clean your room
<NuckleBot> Don't count on it, mom.
#4843
<GiRLiE-> ur cruel.. but funny
<bytraper> and you have a beuatiful mind... but you're fat
#11705
*** Joins: Nighters (mmckesso@HSE-Toronto-ppp179585.sympatico.ca)
<Temujin> NIGHT
<Temujin> Perhaps you can arbitrate this disagreement.
<Nighters> Temujin loses.
<Nighters> disagreement arbitrated.
<Temujin> GODDAMMIT
#16544
<Cole`> I think there might have been a guy at my ptq who crapped his pants. During round 5 I had a bunch of people watching my match and all of a sudden I caught the scent of crap. I yelled out "Who in God's name shit their pants?!" A few people laughed, but I didn't catch the shitter. So round 6 I am playing this guy and he smelled...like shit. I did in fact recall him saying he wanted to go home and take a bath. I felt really horrible for this.
#309980
<SickInterpol> you couldn't be farther from the truth. I put 16GB in a quad core machine and that shit ran fly, dog.
<AaronBallman> SickInterpol: I am not a canine, and I am sorry that you had flies running on your feces.
#303746
<K-ain> i got fired from blizzard
<pub|k> late again?
<K-ain> they dont like their own language used against em
<K-ain> but they said it was because of "poor timekeeping"
<K-ain> i was constantly late
<K-ain> i guess i crossed the line when they rang me to tell me theyre waiting for me to show up for work
<K-ain> i was like, 3 hours late
<K-ain> i was like 'dont worry ill be there'
<K-ain> and they asked me when ill be there
<K-ain> and i just said 'in blizzard terms?.. soon'
<K-ain> they told me not to bother coming in :(
#9575
<Parc[Cleaning]> I'm starting to worry about my memory :-(
<Parc[Cleaning]> I was walking along, and it struck me that I had to go to the bathroom. So I went to the place, unzipped my pants, and then realized I was standing in front of the trashcan o_O
#57922
<Xshare> We met at a homecoming, danced all night and hung out afterwords at a mutual friends house
<Xshare> as I was leaving, (had to go), I asked for her number and realized I didnt remember her name
<Xshare> I put it in under "Girl"
<tethra> haha
<Xshare> and then she asked me how I spelled it.
<tethra> hahahah
<Xshare> I probably woulda lost any chance right there, but
<Xshare> her friend goes "Isn't it with two Ls"?
<Xshare> and she goes, no, "it's camile with one l"
<Xshare> and I got my ass saved
<Xshare> we've been going out for 6 months
Comment: #maddox
#64042
<mgblst> I joined the half-mile high club. It is like the mile high club, but has half as many people.
#751
[reidman ) why is there an ad for Windows Media Player on the Apple Quicktime site??
[|Dan| ) god only knows why
[|Dan| ) and he's laughing
#49902
<cg> anyone here able to explain a banking question to me in small words?
<devnull> bank? simple?
<GeminiDomino> cg: "All your money are belong to us"
#1982
<ToastyGhost> Is that a roll of pennies in your pocket, or do you just have an incredibly small and slender penis?
<TheVortex> you talking to toen? more like dimes.
<Toen> actually it's a roll of pennies in my pocket. But that ain't a gatorate bottle in my other pocket.
<TheVortex> Ah. Powerade.
<ToastyGhost> Powerade.
<Toen> penis, actually
<ToastyGhost> Yes, severed penis of someone else, in a gatorade bottle.
<TheVortex> dude, that's pretty sick, cutting someone else's penis off like that
<ToastyGhost> DAMN! SAME THOUGHTS!
<Toen> I HATE YOU BOTH ;_;
<TheVortex> GET OUT OF MY HEAD TOASTYGHOST
#10409
<Encapsulate> "Sean, what's your department called?"
<Encapsulate> "I have a department now?"
<Encapsulate> "WE need to route these Skip books to you"
<Encapsulate> "I have a department?"
<Encapsulate> "Right, what is it called for the skip page?""
<Toast> heh
<Encapsulate> "A whole department?"
<Encapsulate> "Yes"
<Encapsulate> "You mean interconnect?"
<Encapsulate> "Yes! Ok, we'll put that down"
<Encapsulate> "I feel more important when I'm called 'Fixed Network'."
<Toast> heh
<Encapsulate> "More important?"
<Encapsulate> "Yea."
<Encapsulate> "Ok, You can be fixed network"
#1482
::: .signoff@7.55p> jadel (jadel@h24-70-154-3.wp.shawcable.net); User abortion with 5 coathooks
#22005
<wan1234> is it possible cd rom can read dvd?
<wan1234> can cd rom read dvd
<wan1234> can cd rom read dvd?
<@URLofLocksley> wan1234: No.
<DaDuck> wan1234, only after its sprinkled with magic pixie dust
<slideshow> wan1234 yes it can, but you have to leave chat to make it work properly
<wan1234> but my friend told me that it can be done by flashing the cdrom bios
<Splodge`> You could always take the motor, circuitry and laser from a dvd drive and put it into a cd-rom.....
<Splodge`> Your friend is a dork wan1234
<DaDuck> lol Splodge`
<DaDuck> magic pixie dust is simpler
<Splodge`> pixie dust is region coded
<slideshow> lol
<slideshow> you can get a pixie dust crack though
<wan1234> ooo
<wan1234> where i can can get that?
<Splodge`> hahaha
#306775
Nine: what is the most stereotypically hipster song?
Nine: preferably one that many people would recognize
#178767
<@michai> who is the samba guru here
<@LexMortis> not you.
<@michai> anyone with a constructive answer perhaps..? :)
<@LexMortis> not me.
#34999
<Zuwadza> Ha
<Zuwadza> Apparently a young girl in Jackie Chan's fan club killed herself when she found out he was married
<Zutroy> not a big fan if she didn't know that
<Zutroy> poseur
Comment: Err, no comment.
#14602
<Wilik> I should make a virus
<Wilik> one that installs the bible on the a computer
<Fishbait> rofl
<Fishbait> that'd be a huge as bible
<Fishbait> err virus
<Wilik> rofl
<Wilik> yea
<Wilik> it goes in
<Wilik> and everytime you open a .avi
<Wilik> it'll say thats against the law of god
<Fishbait> the lord shall smite thy porn
<Wilik> and crash wmp
#7375
<Philgone> also what is wrong with keeping your penis in a woman
* Philgone strokes his cabbage patch doll
<Philgone> toasty warm
<BFG> is her name cynthia veronica picklesbury?
<Philgone> no.. roland
#55863
< Crew^> i was so nervous when i had to be checked when i joined the army
< Crew^> then i was asked to leave the army because they thought i was too dangerous
< Crew^> only in canada can you be too dangerous to be in the army
#33885
<@Matador_> put your $$ where your penis is
<fyzix> you want me to shove money in your mother?
#19407
[igossip] <Xyzzy@Frontiers> antiterrorism training 101: in each of the following situations, think of what choices the hero of an action movie would make, and dont do that
#96424
* Oddlot_P3 goes to grab some sort of food.
<FuzzyPlushroom> That reminds me
<FuzzyPlushroom> In ninth grade, I got bored in science class and wrote "Is Penis a Food?" on the table
<FuzzyPlushroom> I drew a two-column chart under it, "Yes" and "No"
<Oddlot_P3> Any replys?
<FuzzyPlushroom> The majority of tickmarks were in the "Yes" column
<FuzzyPlushroom> Therefore, in conclusion, I'm forced to consider the possibility that you're a flaming faggot.