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#29867
<%sOHRYU> i was thinking of shaving pubes
<%sOHRYU> and free razor
<%sOHRYU> came in mail today
<%sOHRYU> its a fucking sign
<SnakeyeS> hahaha
<SnakeyeS> do it soh
<SnakeyeS> jesus wants you to
<SnakeyeS> who are YOU to say no to jesus
«+ Jesus » yea really
#36035
<Morris> I used to beat it for fun
<Morris> Just sit on my ass for 2.5 hours and waste it
<Morris> But as time moved on, I started speeding up.
Comment: A videogame actually, not that he realized what he said
#310258
< cyberdog> so there are a few holes in watchdogs
< cyberdog> you can 'prevent crimes' by pre-empting them using some bullshit minority report hacking anonymous #wearelegion thing, but when you prevent it, it counts as a victory condition no matter what happens
< cyberdog> so the half hour police chase beforehand, the hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of damage caused, the fact that i arrived on the scene by crashing through the outside area of a restaurant and killed 75% of its customers, and then the fact that i blew both the perp AND the victim away by accident doesn't matter
< cyberdog> perps down, you're a hero
< cyberdog> and then you can stealth in cars to avoid detection, yet it doesn't seem to matter whether the car has doors or not
< cyberdog> hes just sort of slumped in the seat in plain fucking view
< cyberdog> its still entertaining though
< cyberdog> it's a bit like hackers in that it's silly but still enjoyable
< nukes> ahem
< nukes> hackers was not silly
< cyberdog> no that's true. every time i send an email 1s and 0s fly around the room and i surf down a 90s tidal wave wearing an augmented reality headset :P
< nukes> that's not augmented reality, that's lsd
#31528
<Cazor> i know a girl who thinks a guy doing his own laundry is a turn on. thats... hrmm...
<Cazor> and she freaks out when i go to my laundry
<GreenJeanz> wtf haha
<Cazor> like, an orgasmic freak out
<Ruthven> sounds good
<Jovan> Cazor: Sounds like an opportunity... :D
<Jovan> Just kidding.
<Cazor> ehhh... nope.
<Ruthven> ¬_¬
<Jovan> That's kinda funny though.
<Cazor> you'd laugh if i told you who it was, though.
<kak> Its ok Cazor, we know its your mom.
#176291
<Pyro> my desk is complete I think
<Chroder> i cant believe it took you 3 days to build an ikea desk
#38098
<@ecks> do you have any pets that have a pension for eating things of former girlfriends?
<@f0rked> pension?
<@zeleftikam> no
<@Firebug24k> penchant
<@zeleftikam> all my pets have 401k s
#242982
keegan: has anyone made a "Super Lehman Bros" videogame yet?
keegan: you jump and hit the block but instead of coins falling out you get worthless mortgage-backed securities
keegan: also put expensive suits on mario and luigi
#53486
*** lowenergy is now known as emojesus
<emojesus> watch me turn water into whine
#297450
<Dave2> Oh dear fuck I have just found an IRC log of someone from college as a hermaphrodite dragon engaged in cybering.
#300149
<ninjapirate> sometimes i hear "Eye of the tiger" when i'm masturbating.
<ninjapirate> that's how glorious my penis is
<jaban> "so many times it happens too fast"
<jaban> "you must fight just to keep [it] alive"
<jaban> thinking of that part in particular?
#17205
<Funk> Hey I have a question for your mother
<zuKi> Sure thing, let me get her!
<Funk> Ask her how many Communion wafers you'd have to eat to consume a whole Jesus
#8560
<@xpro> sweet, just found 13$ in some dirty pants
<@pimp> who was wearing them?
#34041
<[PIT]PhillyB_workn> this is crazy:
<[PIT]PhillyB_workn> A 7-year-old boy was arrested and charged with sexually molesting a 5-year-old girl (Morristown, N.J., November). And an 8-year-old boy, accused of fondling four 7-year-old girls, agreed to enter sex-offender rehabilitation (Mount Clemens, Mich., December)
<[PIT]PhillyB_workn> And a 12-year-old girl, who was improperly touched by a 40-year-old man (resulting in his conviction for lewd conduct), was revealed by court investigators to have voluntarily performed oral sex on, or intercourse with, at least 40 men (Monterey, Calif., February).
<Uranus> dude, whats sad is that 7 year old kids are getting laid and I'm not
<[PIT]PhillyB_workn> lol Uranus
<|223|Bob|Duk> ROFL
<|223|Bob|Duk> so true...
<bleepstreet> cause he's got mad style
<ShminkyBoy> the 12 year old should be given some head doctor treatment
<bleepstreet> or a medal
#29463
<a_passerby> fuck, well, i got an offer to be keyboardist/pianist for a band for "funk music"
<a_passerby> but i dont listen to funk music
<a_passerby> and the guy who asked me is a moron
<a_passerby> "yeah man, i dont use kazaa anymore. you know your computer broadcasts an ip address?"
<a_passerby> thats an EXACT QUOTE
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY GOD AN IP ADDRESS
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY HOUSE IS BROADCASTiNG A STREET ADDRESS
#8571
## baguette is away since Mon Sep 10 12:31:41 2001 -- fuck
<screampuff> gee, that's not a bad reason to be away...
#33556
Philth : theres no lag when you play with yourself..
Philth : eh, i mean single player
Magnus : lol
Philth : I keep saying shit like that, i blame bash
Comment: Oh god I'm addicted
#53924
<triavox> :( i just missed an oppurtunity for being laid and got slapped in the face instead. anyone want to hear about it so they can humiliate me with their laughter?
<mj_> hahahah triavox
<SuperJuan> hell yeah
<triavox> this chick from my old high school came to my door at 8:30 asking if she could borrow a bar of soap(btw she lives like two BUILDINGS down from me so im thinking 'wtf is she doing all the way over here asking to borrow a bar of soap??"). so im like "uh yeah sure one second, wait out here".
<triavox> so i get the soap and give it to her, she goes "thanks" and just stands there. im like standing there.. my mind is blank. so im like "ok." and close the door. ten seconds later she knocks again and gives me back the soap and shouts "GET A CLUE DUDE!" so im says "what the hell you talkin about?" and she just laughs and walks away. only NOW do i get it, and i feel like breaking something.
#35281
<Luigi30> I'm so l33t
<Luigi30> I overclocked my record player to 77RPM
#30770
(@Clitos) hungry for weiners?
(@tyree) fuck i could take a hot dog or two
(@Clitos) in the ass?
(@tyree) no
(@tyree) i like to swallow
#37830
Exar Khan 666 : there are certain aspects about me that i want exactly the same in a potential mate and there are things that I would never want her to have
Yesterday Dying : like a penis
Exar Khan 666: I'm talking personality wise but yes that would be at the top of the list
#60524
Jane: Random question for you.
Harald387: Random answer for you.
Jane: WoW - Rogue or Mage for highest DPS?
Harald387: HOONGA OONGA OOGA CHAKA
#10881
<jorm> it will be my favorite thing until i remember that i have a penis.
#311097
<photo> i poured my root beer into a square cup and now all i have is beer. please advise.
#30336
<icelandicdic> breasts do have a powerful effect on the male sex. I won't deny that. Its an instinctual thing that evolved in caveman "big breasts make more milk. our babies wont starve. humans will survive!!! Mate with big breasties".
#32681
<VALIS> I _had_ no _idea_ I should elminate unused variables.
<VALIS> I'll get right on that.
<Kurt> keep them in, never know when you'll need them
<Kurt> you might be sitting there bashing away and you'll think "Gee, if only I had a variable called unsigned_dong about now"
<somniloquy> sign my dong!