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#8723
<Linguica> whatever you say honey
<Linguica> err homey
#286
<Infe> what happens if you try to recharge an alkaline battery
<HomerJ> blows up
<Andrigaar> Don't they explode?
<Andrigaar> I wonder if it's violent or just some leaking battery acid.
<Infe> i think it's all a scam to get you to pay more for 'rechargeables' and ---
<Infe> AHHHHHHHHHHH MY FACE
<Infe> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#39849
<@psych0sys> i hate those questionable farts where your not sure if your about to experience relief or a massive stream of molten shit
#25124
<maddox> You know what I hate? Programs that pretend like they're sentient beings. Ftp daemons are the worst.. you type "bye" and it responds: "221 bye bye".. or your login fails and you execute a command, it says "log in first, then I might let you do that." Yeah? Well echo "fuck you" > /usr/bin/ftp
<professor> hahaha.
<maddox> "bzip2: I won't write compressed data to a terminal."
<maddox> no, "you" won't write anything because you can't. You're a piece of shit binary written by a lonely programmer who has seen 2001 too many fucking times.
#16406
<Anecdotist> I never watched the Power Rangers. So I guess I just figured that they were like forest rangers, but more powerful. Maybe even as powerful as me. I know that I am pretty powerful when it comes to forest stuff, because Smokey the Bear is all, "Only you can prevent forest fires." If I'm the only one, I must be pretty powerful.
#8830
<pr0k> I could do it when I was like 15, however, the pleasurable sensation of having a mouth on my penis was completely cancalled out by the sensation of having a penis in my mouth.
#2563
<DAL9000> if you ever feel dumb
<DAL9000> look at tasmboy
<DAL9000> and you'll feel better.
* logosmani looks
<Rud0lf> heh
<TasmBoy> its not working
<DAL9000> because you're you.
<DAL9000> looking at yourself would throw you into a recursive loop of stupidity.
#34071
<opivy10> i used to be a lesbian till i got my sex change
*** Dianora sets mode: +m
#37790
<simon-say> CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title.
<simon-say> In a random check for banned substances, three were found in Armstrong's hotel room.
<simon-say> The substances banned by the French that were found in his hotel room were as follows: (1) Toothpaste, (2) Deodorant, (3) Soap
<simon-say> The French officials also found several other items which they had never seen before, including a testicle and a backbone...
<simon-say> Earlier reports that French Government officials attempted to surrender to Armstrong as he entered Paris were apparently erroneous.
#20858
<nutrasweetie> lol my brother is such a little creep
<nutrasweetie> hes on the phone w/his friend
<nutrasweetie> and he goes to me "can i go online"
<nutrasweetie> me: "no, you're on the phone"
<nutrasweetie> "well, my friend wants to tell me something, and i called him and the lines busy"
<nutrasweetie> me: "NO"
<nutrasweetie> john goes back to the phone "damn, she wont let me on to talk to you"
#8695
<spoob> MCSE is to computers as McDonalds Certified Chef is to fine cuisine
#19798
<D3adlode> http://decoy.iamod.com/badday.jpg
<D3adlode> ...
<Taylor> thanks for that D3adlode
<D3adlode> you're welcome
<MaDCoW[sleep]> ;s
<FaQz0r[zof]> hahah
<Taylor> no really, thanks for showing me the picture of a FUCKING PENIS, while my mum walks in with a drink YOU COMPLETE SHITHEAD, at least provide a damn warning
#14103
<xxx> I think I'm having some problems with my sexlife...
<phunqe> oh? :/
<xxx> Yeah, yesterday my girlfriend and I wanted to have sex, but I had a... hmm.. well you know.. problem..
<phunqe> Ah, no ping reply?
#21912
<merkzu> i fucking hate my dishwasher
<pagan> its super easy to rinse off dishes if you do it right when your done :)
<pagan> letting it sit for days is the killer
<jstepka-w> pagan ++:
<merkzu> i just dont like anything that interferes with my lazyness
#22333
<Jubei-> sup nigs
<kaihn[afk]> :o
<Jubei-> i mean..
<Jubei-> Hello fine gentlemen, how are you this fine morning?
#38609
Marc: For example, open an MPG file in EditPlus
Marc: It's mostly gibberish
Chen: All I see now is blonde, brunette, redhead
#10456
<Starscream> okay, you guys suck and blow simultaneously, making you all
excellent trumpet players.
#62737
<@D1> I'm reading stephen hawking's website and I can't help to do it in that robot voice
#11206
<fm> they say if you do the same thing over and over again .. you'll get sick of it. I've been cutting school for more days then I can count and I'm not sick of it yet
#4015
<aeflux> I swear 85% of the CS community failed remedial english in 3rd grade
<Gunny> 85% of the CS community hasn't made it to the 3rd grade
#303685
<@esch> I'm going to go as a philosophical zombie for halloween this year
<@p_g_p> MIIIIIIINDS
#25202
<burrahobbit> "Hi, my name is Tyson Vandagriff and, I am going to be your roommate next year at OU."
<burrahobbit> AND COMMA
<burrahobbit> HOLY CRAP MY ROOMMATE IS RETARDED
#4792
[Synoptica] no, he's not lagged. he's just stupid.
#301221
<ccr> the thing about JVM is that it will almost never free memory it has once allocated from host. it has, at least historically, been a mistake to run anything else than one Java-based service per server instance.
<Chainsaw> Indeed. The memory allocation strategy of Java can be described in 3 words.
<Chainsaw> Nom nom nom.
#32138
<+x24[java]> an e-mail from our IT guy:
<+x24[java]> I have about 15 small bags of oregano (yeah, it looks like something else, but I swear it's oregano) - if you're interested in one, give me a buzz
Comment: #gideontech