Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#303630
<Tarkaan> holy shit
<Tarkaan> my electrical guy is here
<Tarkaan> and my elec was all retarded
<Tarkaan> fuses bridged with copper wire
<Tarkaan> he's replacing that shit with breakers
<Tarkaan> so I don't fucking die
<ionine_> Tarkaan, did he tell you to hold two wires while he makes a bowtie?
<Tarkaan> I'm not falling for that again
Comment: #geekissues
#53056
<pushplay> she probably would never survive phil 120
<Xianmas> a retarded monkey could pass phil 120
<Xianmas> a retarded monkey with a head injury even
<Xianmas> if you don't "get" truth tables, you don't belong in the human race
<Xianmas> that should be the eugenics test
<Xianmas> show truth table for A AND B
<Xianmas> A B A /\ B
<Xianmas> 0 1 ?
<Xianmas> if ? = 0, you die
<Xianmas> err
<Xianmas> 1
<Xianmas> OMG!!
<dalor> Xianmas: you filtered out your first idiot
#31745
<warewolf> "It sucks when you sneeze with a dildo in, and inadvertantly become a one-round-gun."
#62079
<relsqui> my cat just lay down with her chin on my wrist. that's very very fuzzy.
* nova20 applauds relsqui for her perfect conjugation of the verb "to lie"
* nova20 gives relsqui a commondation on behalf of the Chief of the Grammar Police
...
<relsqui> and I just noticed you misspelled "commendation," which is hilarious only because of the context.
<nova20> well, it's the Grammar police, not the spelling polise.
<nova20> oh man
* nova20 facepalms
<nova20> that's "police"
#32734
<jwz> the last wasted ten minutes were brought to you by ghostview, kswapd, and a 1.2GB X server
<jwz> let's hear it for everyone involved
#13399
(jeek) Jesus Christ.
(jeek) How the hell am I supposed to swallow two alka-seltzer pills.
(jeek) ?
(seawolf_) put them in water first
(jeek) But then they'll dissolve
(jeek) Oh, I get it
(jeek) n/m
#13395
(akerom) anyone gota picture of a fat naked stomach?
(akerom) or a fat naked girl
(akerom) im making a comic of last night
#8722
<Cyb> I remember the first time I talked to my ex girlfriend on aim
<Cyb> and I said 'heh'
<Cyb> and she was like "I hate when people say that!"
<Cyb> that was like the most traumatic moment of my life
#92959
<matt> i had chinese food last night
<matt> it wasn't that good
<matt> so then i go to the bathroom this morning
<matt> and, after a less-than-pleasant experience
<matt> the toilet overflows when i flush.
<matt> so, my first thought is "oh SHIT"
<matt> then my second thought is "heh, yeah, shit, like literally too"
<matt> but then my third thought:
<matt> java.lang.ToiletOverflowError;
<matt> yeah
<matt> i hated myself too
#11909
<verb`> baby blue pumas are guy shoes?
<Twilo`> yes
<molesto> i might not know how to dress, but i know how not to invite a serial assfucking by the entire crew of an aircraft carrier
<Twilo`> baby blue isnt a girls color
<molesto> <Twilo`> baby blue isnt a girls color
<verb`> any color preceded by baby is a girl color
<molesto> i'll pretend you didn't say that
<Twilo`> dude u serious?
<molesto> any colour preceded by baby gets you on the paedophile register
<Twilo`> u stuck in the 90's?
<molesto> no i'm stuck back in the days when people that wore shoes like that didn't have anuses like exit wounds
#14953
<TsB-Thuggish> i hate it when you can't explain what i mean
#56171
<woops> people without porn invent stuff like computers or solve world hunger
#17868
<RadAghazt> I bought rice vinegar to make sushi. Now to figure out how.
<RadAghazt> Ok.
<RadAghazt> There are instructions on the bottle, but...
<RadAghazt> they're in Japanese.
<RadAghazt> At least I think they're instructions.
<RadAghazt> This might say "death to all gaijin with this poisoned export rice vinegar" for all I know.
#33944
[Marc^]: hahahahaha
[Marc^]: been moaning that i dont have a desk and have to type on my lap
[Marc^]: got a massive desk this morning
[Marc^]: and just realised
[Marc^]: i'm sitting here with the keyboard on my lap :/
Comment: #tekheads
#59559
<@kingrayray> i just vacuum sealed 1lb of tobacco into a brick
<@kingrayray> hahahaha
<@kingrayray> i want to kill someone with it
<@kingrayray> and then be like TOBACCO KILLS
#23834
<Antioch-WTF> Incidentally, am I the only one that craves hentai featuring a single-mother two-daughter lesbian incest family?
#214202
<Lightning> my mom and dad put a pw on all my games and stuff except for irc
<Shrink> You could always try and brute force it
<Lightning> i'm not gonna hit a couple of elderly people!!
#54441
< plasmadis> One time my dad stole a roll of brightly-colored stickers from a butcher's counter that said "BREASTS" and went to the video store and stuck them on all the movies that looked likely to contain nudity.
#22468
--> The_Ents (~trees@the.darkforrest.net) has joined #Isengard
<-- Saruman has quit (Excess Flood)
#29931
<Mr_X> I once went fishing with K0ffing and we caught syphilis.
<K0ffing> worst tasting fish ever
#15753
<Xney> how goes the job search?
<Stemish> xeeneee....it'll go, once i start it :)
<Xney> oh you haven't started?
<Stemish> not seriously, i'm not hurting yet
<Xney> brian: You should start way early.. it's quite ugly :)
<fouts> no shit. one company i applied to went out of business between posting
the ad and my email to them
#44850
<Segosa> IRC has taught me a girl in a bath tub isn't always a good thing.
#301020
<jonukas> hello, hope someone can help me. How with c#, i can make 3.576 to 3.58 ?
<ttvd> if(value == 3.576) value = 3.58;
<ttvd> np!
#9136
<Odin_Tiger> Even those maps that the psychics show of the earth flooded (the ones where science says there isn't enough water on earth for it to be possible) would have me a good 4 or 5 hour drive from any beaches.
#2106
<RockShox> girls love attention and irc is some place where everyone pays attention to them