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#4408
<MosServ> Katto: They will keep fighting, they think that dying in battle for their God is the greatest honor. But they also think they'll go to hell if they have pork in their stomach. Solution: Pork bullets.
#56367
<FrozenTrout> I stubbed my toe
<Thorog> (This toe is a stub. You can help #sluggysquad by expanding it!)
#34520
<Djinna> i saw a pin this afternoon that says 'just because i'm a gay man doesn't mean i'll turn down a blowjob from a woman'
Comment: #bifemunix
#300732
<+Jason_Voorhees> was chatting with a chick on dalnet..wouldnt send me a pic
<+Jason_Voorhees> so i asked her what she likes to do for fun
<+Jason_Voorhees> and she replied eat ice cream
Comment: #iwwf on irc.i-wwf.net
#16586
<shagman> and here I go rollerblading in black jeans and a dark blue t-shirt
<shagman> it must be 40 out
<SourKey> your nuts
<shagman> yeah, they're hot too
#78388
<ed> customer: "i have a pentium 4-R CPU, is that a good CPU?"
<ed> me: 'sir, there's no such thing as a pentium 4-R.'
<ed> customer: "so you mean you don't know about the pentium 4-R."
<ed> me: 'i mean that the pentium 4-R does not exist.'
<ed> customer: "dude, don't try to belittle me, i know more than you. i have one, i know it exists, i just wanted to know if it was a good CPU or not."
<ed> me: 'sir, with all due respect, intel introducing a "pentium-4-r" should have made enough of a splash in the industry for me to notice.'
<ed> finally he gets me to pull out a CPU to show me
<ed> on the chip engraving, it says:
<ed> PENTIUM (R) 4
<ed> he goes: "SEE! PENTIUM 4 R!!!"
<ed> me: ....
#77357
<CPOK> so when are you americans gonna catch up with the rest of the world and use metric anyway?
<Molgorn> I'll drink to that!
<Molgorn> Anyone fancy a pint?
#35793
<EmenEm> i was in the bathroom this morning shaving when the whole apartment building started shaking
<EmenEm> and i'm like "WTF EARTHQUAKE" and i ran outside in my bathrobe and i'm bleeding because my razor went into my face when it started shaking
<EmenEm> when i got outside there was a car sitting in the tennis court the car was busted up and some nice damage to the building
<EmenEm> a cool story right there, but get this
<EmenEm> this guy gets out of his car with half of his face covered in shaving cream - him and i exchanged this weird glance because blood was flowing down our faces
<EmenEm> fucking weird shit
#30468
<phr0work> redhat really fucked you in the ass
<`KArmA> not yet it hasn't, but its definitely giving me a bit of a rimjob and whispering it suggestively
#310062
< eneasvva> I'm trying to do an variable global (with class type), I see that in C++ is made with a variation of singleton, but this variation is incompatible with BC 3.1 . There's another way?
< j4cbo> what's BC 3.1?
< eneasvva> borland c++ 3.1
< eneasvva> I just want to a global instance
< j4cbo> um.
< j4cbo> from 1992?
< eneasvva> yes
< j4cbo> this channel will tend to yell at you for using C++03 instead of C++11
< j4cbo> i don't know how best to work around bugs in your compiler that's old enough to legally get drunk
< jeaye> get it drunk
#296029
<HyperHacker> ^_^ @
<HyperHacker> ^_^ @
<HyperHacker> >_> @
<HyperHacker> O_O @
<HyperHacker> <_< @
<HyperHacker> <_< @
<HyperHacker> x_x@
<HyperHacker> x_@
<HyperHacker> x@
<HyperHacker> @
<HyperHacker> @
<HyperHacker> @x
<HyperHacker> @¯x
<HyperHacker> @x¯x
<HyperHacker> @ x¯x
<HyperHacker> @ o¯O
<HyperHacker> @ v¯v
<HyperHacker> and that's what happens when you go through a black hole.
Comment: irc.badnik.net #smwc
#53419
<buzzcocks> hey guys im gonna go watch some tv and consult w/ my good friend about her boy problems
<buzzcocks> wow that made me sound gay
<sickhippie|wtf> buzzcocks, is there something you need to tell us?
<buzzcocks> hey
<sickhippie|wtf> i mean, you can trust us
<buzzcocks> i only rubbed his crotch because it was a dare
* sickhippie|wtf changes topic to '<buzzcocks> i only rubbed his crotch because it was a dare'
#58694
<Klaxon> Dammit... I'm trying to work with this ridiculously religious client...
<Klaxon> He can't set up his forum because he's refusing to chmod 666 :(
#177
<Lepper> i told my roommate's girlfriend that she needs to hook me up with some chicks
<Lepper> and she's like "dude, i bring my friends over... and all you do is play video games!"
#32548
<Thompson> whats wrong wiv looking at your sisters tits and her ass?
#31010
<chaz> When I was 4 or 5.
<chaz> My parents had a computer (Btw my dad built his 1st one before I was even born) and it had a dos shell program that booted and was called menu
<chaz> menu listed all your programs
<chaz> and games and stuff
<chaz> well, This program has parental controls, etc, so the setup program was password proteected
<chaz> I hacked to the dos shell, and figured out the admin executable and changed the settings (hey I was 4.. that was hacking back then)
<chaz> all for the purpose of naming my sisters games.. 'Michelles games suck' and my games 'Charles games Rule'
<chaz> and take away her favorite game
<chaz> out of her list.
<evee> hahha, you're mean!!!
<chaz> shebeat me up a lot.
#764
<DigDug> looks like microsoft is extending http
<DigDug> HTTP 403.9 - Access Forbidden: Too many users are connected
<DigDug> Internet Information Services
<OxOO> that must be visual http++
#32974
<Doyle|LFHMRNNA>: man this coffee is so good, I can't stop smiling.
<Roj`>: what sort is it?
<Doyle|LFHMRNNA>: espresso, with 3 sugar and no milk
<Doyle|LFHMRNNA>: we ran out :(
<Roj`>: okay....
<Doyle|LFHMRNNA>: frak dserf se slke eoseif
<Roj`>: . . .???
<Doyle|LFHMRNNA>: hmmmmmm
<Doyle|LFHMRNNA>: not even i can work out what i was trying to say
Comment: Too much coffee = ^^
#300594
Shayne: She said she's gonna call me soon. And i think she's going to tell me she loves me. But she thinks i'm clueless. How should i react?
Jesse: your asking a guy who has been single for 4 years for relationship advice?
Shayne: Oh right
Shayne: Umm
Jesse: just be all shocked and like suprised i guess
Shayne: Ok hold on
Shayne: Lets say i was a really good irc user. And an admin told me he had a suprise for me and i knew he was gonna give me ops. How should i react?
Shayne: Seriously... Answer the fuckin question lol
Jesse: you did not just ...oh...my...god
#310205
<kmc> the other day I bought a recycling can from amazon
<kmc> it came in a cardboard box
<kmc> i took the can out of the box, broke down the box, and put it in the can
<kmc> it was amazing
#38557
<fractorial> !whatis rectum
<fok> Searching dictionary.com for rectum...
<fok> n. pl. rec tums or rec ta (-t ) The terminal portion of the large intestine, extending from the sigmoid colon to Amazon.com - Shop for books, music and more Merriam-Webster - Search for definitions
#15183
<deimos> someone asked me some ungodly complex question in an interview once
<deimos> it took him 5 minutes to explain it
<rwhom> did you get it right?
<deimos> and then they looked at me
<deimos> and wanted a single part answer
<deimos> so i thought for a second
<cj_> <deimos> and i said, "potatoe". i didn't get the job.
#68143
<nul1o> this pedo sees a kid hanging around near the edge of the cliff crying
<nul1o> so he looks areound and cant see anyone else round
<nul1o> so he goes up and asks the kid whatsup
<nul1o> and hes like, my dog just died, and on the way to the funeral we were in a car crash
<nul1o> and my parents drove off the cliff, I just manged to escape
<nul1o> and the pedos like its not your lucky day is it
<Biomech> so did you help him?
#140
<DigDug> Acero: don't look a gift horse in the mouth is what i say
<Acero> DigDug: yeah, i guess i should just stick my dick in and find out if i get herpes for myself!
#9008
<mrfy> hmm. my title choice was questioned
<pembroke> what title did you ask for?
<mrfy> software zymurgist
<mrfy> "I was curious, since 'zymurgist' usually has to do with the chemical fermentation process in the production of wine. Perhaps that's a term also used in software, and I apologize for having second guessed this if that is the case."