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#51196
<farlax> damn... my GF had another prolapse... last night she was going pretty hard, and it just happened...
<yot> ...
<toowan> an anal prolapse?  like mr. goatse?
<farlax> DAMMIT!!!  RELAPSE!!! SHE HAD A RELAPSE OF HER ASTHMA SYMPTOMS WHILE RUNNING HOME!

#173329
<Trinexx> There. I have allocated two weeks' worth of vacation time, starting on September 7th.
<Apollo> September 7th? You're going on vacation the DAY that Spore comes out? wtf dude
<Trinexx> Exactly.
<Apollo> oh
<Apollo> OH!
<Apollo> Fuck, I gotta do the same D:

#12764
<JohnnyCat> the phantasm movies are good too. along the same thread of weird electronic
horror movie shit, a movie called cube is awesome
<JohnnyCat> http://us.imdb.com/Title?0123755
<JohnnyCat> very unique
<Somni> is that the one with the new Dax from DS9, and the robot cop from that Tek show
(by William Shatner)?
<JohnnyCat> i'm not sure.. i don't think so. it's about these people that get stuck in
the middle of this maze of cubes with doors on each face of the cube.  they
have to figure out whether it's safe to move from cube to cube, or they get
diced up
<Somni> yep, that's the one
<q[Simon]> That sounds like my office.

#31285
<hep> fo0 is a premature ejaculator?
<G3-Game> cock mizer?
<fo0bar> hep: only when I'm around you
<G3-Game> scrooge mccock?
<kingmob> ewww
<kingmob> that's pretty bad
<dmose> cocksocket
<kingmob> cause remember what scrooge used to do in his money?
<kingmob> like, roll around in it and swim in it and stuff
<kingmob> now i'm picturing...ecccchhh
<kingmob> just...ecchhhh
<willo> with his nephews
<aykroyd> ack!  /clear, dammit!!
<kingmob> ecchhhh!
<fo0bar> willo: thank you for further tainting my view of childhood
<ogw-iii> oy
<willo> anytime.

#49031
< plasmadis> marijuana is a gateway drug to the hard stuff
< pescypes> the only thing marijuana is a gateway to is me ordering a pizza

#308649
<@esch> gonna need som eclarification there
<@pyna> how does eclarification differ from regular clarification ?
<@esch> creme filling, idiot

#53379
<Omnica> AH fuck me, I just told this 12 year old girl "haha my tounges long enough to touch my hose" trying to make nice conversatin with my girlfiends sister, she called me a pedo and blocked me fuck

#1432
<@SLiPMaTT`> no i had one girlie today give me her #
<rocker> slippy goes to an all guys school

#8658
<imsuxok> Maybe there'll be some breakthrough in internet technology
<imsuxok> I hear the powerline stuff is close to being released commercially
<imsuxok> I'm just worried that it'll overload the outlets in my old house. I don't feel like burning to death just so I can download porn faster.

#30339
<Krispy_Kreme> i'm an IRC n00b, how do you idle?
<Fenrir51> LOLOLOL
<Fenrir51> Rofl
<Krispy_Kreme> :(
Comment: Yep he was indeed a newbie.

#16302
<DaveMan> nerds dont dance
<DaveMan> and DDR proves it again and again

#5193
<mofo> s2pid virgin cola commercials.
<reuben> i bet it's harder to type "s2pid" than it is to type "stupid"
<mofo> s2pid looks cooler and sophisticated though, so :P
<reuben> it looks stupid

#68620
<Vulpyne>  in my enlish class we were doing this mad lib type things
<Vulpyne>  the teacher asked for a proper noun and i said Pamela Anderson
<Vulpyne>  part of it ended up being "This horse should be good for racing.  It's father was Seabiscuit and it's mother was Pamela Anderson"

#57608
<sutna> You wouldn't think that not knowing the difference between a cupboard and a drawer could break apart a family.
<Seeker> It can?
<sutna> When I was like 6 my mom bought my grandmom a present on my behalf for her birthday. She told me it was in the cupboard and I should go fetch it for granny.
<Seeker> I can see where this is going..
<sutna> So granny is sitting on the couch waiting for her present and I looked in the drawer instead of the cupboard , I came running out the room holding a huge black ribbed dildo.
<Seeker> Well I feel sorry for you but you won't be offended if I piss myself laughing?
<sutna> spose not
<Seeker> WA HA AH AAHA AHA AHA AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#297012
ambulance: on my dryer machine the ignition knob is an oven knob for some reason
ambulance: I turn it to 'broil' to start my dryer

#30905
<snow_veil> my system tray icons are multiplying
<snow_veil> it's like some divine force
<YucA> snow_veil WTF
<snow_veil> soon they'll take over my taskbar
<snow_veil> and jump my quicklaunch icons
* snow_veil smells a battle brewing

#40176
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: yeah, like masturbation
Adam Atlas: Heh.
Adam Atlas: Go make the sound of one hand clapping.
Adam Atlas: I like that euphemism even better.
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: me too
Adam Atlas: My personal favorite, though, is "dealing with the issue at hand." It sounds very professional, in a cryptic sort of way.
Adam Atlas: "Please excuse me, I need to go deal with the issue at hand."
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: hehe
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: or you could put it in a letter
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: "Madam or Sir, we are sending this letter in regards to the issue at hand"
Adam Atlas: But what if the person asks what the issue is? It would be hard to respond
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: just say it's a "personal matter"
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: hehe

#1462
<PwRPufF> im a smart blond :)
<nexxai> YAY FOR DUMB BLONDES#@$@!$! ---- I mean....ummm --- YAY FOR SMART BLONDES *mutter* lol, no such thing
<PwRPufF> :/
<PwRPufF> shut up
<PwRPufF> hey soon im gonna have artifical intelegance
<PwRPufF> hehe
<nexxai> dyed hair?

#3817
<JackDaiLo> i need to learn how to sing chinese angry music

#29913
< Diluted> Could someone please explain to me what a unix admin is without being sarcastic?

#282392
<sereni> What the hell.
<sereni> It's not my fault the kid came up to my fucking window and stood there for 5 minutes before his parents did anything.
<sereni> Yeah, I have blinds for a reason, but you're a god damn parent for a reason.

#27399
<AdRock> I was looking through all my old pictures today, and I think I've found a common thread between all my old girlfriends, they'e all short
<Kweeky> Well, 8 year olds don't tend to be very big. :P

#302081
Codi: You could always buy a RealDoll. Fuck her when you're horny, she just lays there and doesn't bitch about how you never put the seat down or take out the garbage, and you can just shove her in the closet when you're not stickin' it in her pooper.
Jason: wtf
Jason: I always put the seat down

#59664
garysimat: so...
garysimat: all i need is 2000 now to get my rims
garysimat: 1/5 the way there
Aeternum Tacet: ...
Aeternum Tacet: aren't the stock rims nice?
garysimat: there decent
garysimat: but i want 20" chrome
Aeternum Tacet: I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I hope you get robbed

#308978
<Pryoidain> Huh. This build is acting very odd.
<asaph> is that the experiment ssp patch for llvm?
***Quits: Pryoidain (Ping Timeout)
---36 hours later, 4AM---
***Joins: Pryoidain
<Pryoidain> Just smashed a stack with a patch meant to prevent that from happening.
<Pryoidain> Well..not just. I guess it's...holy shit it's Saturday?
* Pryoidain throws that particular code snip in the bin and goes the fuck to bed.

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