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#24298
* popsicle_sands faints
* D3k administers mouth to mouth
<Yunees|shower> ewww
<D3k> ..
<D3k> well that did *wonders* for my self-esteem
#307376
<Drakar> I am just so confused
<Drakar> What do I feel
<Drakar> but maybe that's what I want
<Drakar> I want to be confused with her.
<Rahid> I'd advise to wait untill you stabilize.
<Rahid> Cause
<Rahid> Do you know what happens to pokemon when they try to attack while they are in confusion?
<Rahid> They hurt themselves, bro. They hurt themselves
#9130
<FairLighT> you know something's wrong when you have dreams about eating pudding and you wake up with a spoon in your ass
#40669
<Mookeh> Pf, I'm taking head from a guy who duct taped himself to a ceiling trying to replace a light bulb
<jez> wtf
<Oranz> WTF
<Mookeh> OMG, worst typo ever! I meant HEAT!
#308549
<@Twinge> Saw the word 'spaghetti' and assumed people were talking about code. Was not disappointed.
#37858
<Yed> fapfapfapfapfapfapfap
<Yed> its hard to type fap with 1 hand
#1370
<diz> i remember sticking lightbright pegs in places they shouldn't go on a girl
#29837
<ikkenai> if i pull on a clitoris hard enough, will it eventually come out as a huge penis like in hentai
#28734
<@jilt> my dad had to put that shit on my nut sack
<@jilt> and it burned
<@jilt> and i was going
<@jilt> BLOW ON IT!
<@jilt> and he was laughing going "hell no!"
#45135
JonathanThompson: I made the statement several years ago that it was only a short time before Intel branched into heating/cooling for revenue, as a side-effect of their processors. Imagine: they could hook up 100 x86 processors under the floorboards of a home, and all you'd need is to run some computationally intensive software to heat the house and compute something: the cycles could be sold to some purpose, like routing the net...
#33751
<kharma|elsewhereness> I can't wait for the day when brothels have drive-thru blowjobs.
#10019
<Mormi> Fucked my girlfriend up the ass last night...
<Sp[A]rK> no shit...
<Mormi> Well... some..
#35941
<pantherqs> y'know
<pantherqs> my chest-mounted expansion pack is starting to bother me, every few months out comes a bigger version
<pantherqs> time to lay off the fucking juice.
#8769
<Mat> all chicks are whores, they just charge differently
<Tippytoes> mat do you have a girlfriend?
<Mat> what do you think ;)
<NuTCAsE> i havn't heard him use the word bitch recently
<NuTCAsE> so i'm going with "no"
#2431
<Chocobo> blt: I'll hire you as a debt collector, your first job is to reach into your pocket and gimme money
#223
<[azn]> i am valid victorian
#8223
<below> i'm going to kill my roommate.
<Aven> Kill kill kill
<below> he's going to die for this one
<Aven> Wait, I'M YOUR ROOMMATE!
<below> you are?
<below> wtf?!
<below> how many fingers am i holding up?
<Aven> 2
<Aven> But I don't think ones a... oh god.
<below> yes.
* Aven stabs himself in the eye with a pen.
#311220
<thebananaking> I'm sick and my cat died :(
<thebananaking> kidney stone, blocked bladder, no symptoms until too late
<thebananaking> he was a terrible cat, had no idea how to cat
<thebananaking> but I'll miss the little fucker
<thebananaking> there was a communications stuffup at the vet, and I got a followup call the next day to see how he was doing
<thebananaking> I couldn't help myself and said "well, he's not doing much..."
<thebananaking> I don't think I've ever heard anyone blush before
#10361
<AsylumXKP> And it hard to hit on the German chicks thanks to the thick language barrier.
<Erdrick> just pull it out and point to it
#2142
<mEsHmAn> how do i set myself as away?
<mEsHmAn> in mIRC
*** theForger sets mode: +b *!*@host62-7-101-176.btinternet.com
*** mEsHmAn was kicked by theForger (mEsHmAn is away)
#11111
(Pixie_Pete): Care to join me in a little sven co-op?
* ssmmdd fires up Sven
(Dogsdinner): That's quite possibly the most homoerotic thing ever said in #TPNGC.
#34036
<smithers> do what the chinese do
<CFC|Laptop> shoot stray animals and cook them?
Comment: irc.bordem.net - #whathappen
#17295
<Claus> I was a female black woman in a past life according to this site
#265195
<Gayo> google added gif emoticons to gmail.
<mathrick> they did?
<mathrick> FUCKERS
<Gayo> "If you're tired of not being able to find the right words to express yourself in your messages, emoticons are here to help."
<Gayo> Oh Christine, I love you so much more than my crass tongue can ever express! Let me show you how I feel with this smiley face in a party hat.
#296704
<JasonDM> finally
<JasonDM> the new realtek audio drivers have an option to disable the auto-detection crap
<DominoEffect> took them long enough
<JasonDM> no more stupid notifications that I plugged/unplugged my headphones, yay
<JasonDM> especially when they're still plugged in and I didn't do anything with them
<DominoEffect> "HEY YOU JUST PLUGGED SHIT IN" "...thanks." "NP DUDE"
<DominoEffect> the little two tone windows noise is enough to let me know it's plugged in all the way
<JasonDM> "HEY YOU JUST UNPLUGGED SHIT" "No...I didn't..." "HEY YOU JUST PLUGGED SHIT IN" "NO!"