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#311340
<sami> I sent out a memo about proper meme usage
<sami> if they had any questions to contact me, but if I catch them misusing memes then they have to do CSS
<amy> fate worse than cyber jail
#35880
<Archernar> is this where all the bad people hang out? I heard that IRC is full of bad people..
<jimmiejaz> Archernar, I think that answear would be better answeard if you join #2,000
<-- Archernar (~Archernar@cache2.bnl.gov) has left #linux
Comment: He asked that on 9 different channels....
#37342
< dildohead> i know 2 guys who major'd in english
< dildohead> and theyre both homeless
Comment: #geekissues
#307916
<@Sebas> Apparently I tried to go to sleep with my feet on the pillow because "then they'd get to be comfortable for a change, too"
<@Sebas> And when the girlfriend told me I'd suffocate then, I told her "No, because I'm James Bond"
<@Sebas> Which I later explained, after they told me this, was because James Bond is an under-cover agent.
<@Sebas> So obviously he wouldn't suffocate under the blankets.
<@nukespooon> ahahhaha
<@Sebas> EVEN WHEN I'M SHITFACED OUT OF MY MIND, I MAKE TERRIBLE PUNS
#302675
<^[> if i get a new machine i've got everything else planned out for my old parts
<^[> the old desktop turns into a render box
<^[> the old render box turns into a fileserver
<^[> the old fileserver turns into a flowerpot
<^[> and the old flowerpot goes outside because i haven't watered it in like 9 months and the plants have been long dead
#38456
<Random`Inferno> I god a bad unix joke for you
<Nikkou> Aren't they all?
<Random`Inferno> what do you call $cat|tail
<Random`Inferno> a redundancy!
<Nikkou> Half of me is glad I don't get it, the other half wishes I did get it
<Nikkou> I'm a halfling nerd!
<Rarzipace> A nerdling.
Comment: #KeveX on slashnet
#1083
<thinkmad> vvhat is pengs real name
<timmo> chris
<timmo> is your w broken?
<thinkmad> no
#1390
<hypr> MY MOM WONT LET M,E WEAR HEADPHONES CAUSE SHE THINKS THEY WILL GIVE ME CANCER OR A BRAIN TUMOR
<hypr> she like sneaks up behind me and takes them off and says she will break them if she sees em on me again
<hypr> :(
<[cut]> <schwtzngr> IT'S NOT A TUMOR!
#35083
<minion> what should i get for lunch
<minion> i have $4
<keef> 8 packs of ramen and a 3 dollar hooker
#132854
<@toxik> Guys, date("Y") doesn't return 2007
<@toxik> "2007" even
<@bigfoot-> maybe because it's 2008 already? :)
<@toxik> Oh?
<@toxik> I daresay...
#28366
* OnACloud (dilistener@IN-8A96057.in-addr.btopenworld.com) has joined
<OnACloud> Evening f*ckwits
* OnACloud was kicked by DJ-Pyro (bad start)
#25011
[noddingGeek] lowkey: Yeah shes bringing a different friend this time...
[lowkey] noddingGeek: that's good. you can use the same moves again.
[noddingGeek] lowkey: I don't have any moves...
[lowkey] noddingGeek: damn. come up with some quick.
[noddingGeek] lowkey: ...I talked about my pcmcia ethernet card...
[noddingGeek] They didn't seem to care for it...
[jimmiejaz] were you passionate about it?
[noddingGeek] Yeah I was like "I CAN'T FIND MY MOTHERFUCKING ETHERNET CARD!"
[noddingGeek] Really pissed off like that..
[jimmiejaz] perfect.
[noddingGeek] Then they told me to get off the computer...
[jimmiejaz] and you said you were trying?
[noddingGeek] jimmiejaz: yeah thats exactly what I said....
#148598
<LordLicorice> I made Goatse talk once
<LordLicorice> In a Scottish accent
<LordLicorice> There was some Budweiser thing
<LordLicorice> where you could upload your portrait
<LordLicorice> and assign eye points, lip points, etc.
<LordLicorice> and make yourself say things
<LordLicorice> so I uploaded Goatse
<LordLicorice> made him talk
<LordLicorice> chose Scottish accent
<LordLicorice> made him recite scripture about the End Times
#11137
<Christoph> Wuff will you tell Sara I'm not talking to her? -.- <turns>
<Wuffypie> Sara, I'm to tell you something that you just heard Mind say anyway
#12298
* brokengolfclub goes to hunt down food or sex
<brokengolfclub> whichever I find first
<brokengolfclub> I found some crackers
<brokengolfclub> they didnt really satisfy me
<GreyWulfe> You where supposed to eat them.
<brokengolfclub> damn my roomates girlfriend smells good.......
#1601
<skatoni> will some one please help
<`NeXiGeN`> what's yer problem ?
<skatoni> there is a guy hacking into my computer
<`NeXiGeN`> unplug yer modem
<skatoni> how?
<`NeXiGeN`> see all those wires behind your computer box ?
<`NeXiGeN`> ripem all out
*** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni[ppp012.rosenet.net]: Connection reset by peer)
#296747
<rewt3d> somewhere there's a company out there that has actually worked out how to enlarge penises, but they're powerless to reach their potential customers
#1713
<odinnn> i used to be scared i would turn into a mexican if i ate too much
mexican food
#9112
<ManC0W> Mikado : Mitsukake is an ass pirate
<Mikado`> ManC0W: I believe so, yes.
<Mikado`> ManC0W: can he see this?
<Mikado`> ManC0W: if we prefix our sentences with our intended targets, the others can't see it, right?
<ManC0W> Mikado : I think so Brain...
<Mikado`> ManC0W: Cuz I'd really hate for Mitsukake to know how gay I think he is
<Mitsukake> Why is this room so dead all of a sudden?
<Mikado`> LOL
<Mitsukake> What?
<Mitsukake> What's so funny?
#118914
<@jonathan|roh> do you ever accidentally type more than 1 character
<@jonathan|roh> like type "helloo world"
<@jonathan|roh> I do
<LoX`> sometimes
<@jonathan|roh> and I feel guilty when I delete the extra character
<LoX`> I tend to spell "tomorrow" wrong
<LoX`> lol
<@jonathan|roh> it's like I brought that character to life
<@jonathan|roh> and now, I'm deleting it
<LoX`> oh wow
<LoX`> That's definitely something you don't hear everyday
<@jonathan|roh> I feel even more guilty if I delete the first occurance rather than the accidental occurance
<LoX`> You feel guilty over deleting characters?
<@jonathan|roh> you don't?
<@jonathan|roh> what kind of heartless beast are you?
#300122
<Slashy> Kanye West has a new show coming out
<Slashy> No time slot, it just interrupts other shows
#57655
<kolby> you know those bathrooms at football stadiums where like a bunch of guys just stand next to each other and piss in em?
<kolby> they had a smaller version of that in this restaraunt and I looked up while I was taking a piss and there was a mirror
<kolby> I started messing with my hair and I pissed all over myself and everyone behind me had this horrified look
<Scofco> hahaha, so you were pissing in the fucking sink?
<kolby> huh?
<kolby> ...fuck
#53711
<Monxe> I have this chemistry class full of people who apparently get off acting as if they're 5. So, while leaving the class, I look over to my friend and say, "Man, I think the retardation in there is contagious."
<Monxe> Suddenly I pause, look up, and realize that we're right across from the special ed. hallway.
#1018
(SpAc3d) i hate when [movie groups] release shitty quality stuff like TS and Cam's
(SpAc3d) its a fuckin waste of space
(mistical) like Hannibal *upsidedown cam* *real* *subtitled* *in japanesse*
#30413
<SpudMuffn> I jack off in the shower so much that I get a hard-on whenever it rains.