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#364
<Santa> anybody know what solaris calls its kernel?
<SfabN> Santa: look into the root dir and look for the biggest file, or look into /stand
<token> biggest file?
<token> "Huh, my kernel is called ``core''" :-)
#34055
<J3anyus> just cause i watch anime and listen to britney spears doesn't mean i want a big wang in my ass
#305776
* Jorfs (Jorfs@9BEA575.2F81F144.8DE8CFAD.IP) has joined #britfa.gs
<Jorfs> Shit how do i chat up this hot redhead?
<music> okc?
<Jorfs> Nah im at a bar
<music> so let me get this straight
<music> you're at a bar
<music> and you're trying to chat a girl up
<music> but you don't know what to do, so you come on irc?
<Jorfs> Yes
<Jorfs> Why are they all laughing at me now?
<music> hahah
#56727
<Whitetail> I wonder if the pope masturbates
<Haelo> WhiteTail: It's not called masturbation.
<Haelo> Whitetail: It's called 'self-blessing'
#49755
(mRCUTEO) rpm matthew
(mRCUTEO) sorry rip matthew
[ShoeUnited] (mRCUTEO) rpm matthew <--- I could make an entirely inappropriate spinning in his grave joke right now, but I won't.
#307584
<SightUnseen> last time i had a dream was the beginning of last year. i dreamed about waking up, eating breakfast, and going to school. then my alarm went off and i woke up, ate breakfast, and went to school. i must have the creativity of a tree stump. :P
#33163
<goatasaur> that reminds me of the health spa that was giving a deal on "champagne facials"
<goatasaur> and i thought, "if that isn't the name of a porn site, it should be"
Comment: #fark on irvingnet
#6748
<josh> usually when guys shoow me their penises I try and fondle them
<penney> whoa josh
<penney> are you gay?
<josh> no, I'm just friendly
#6923
<piman> Lindz: Does Ricky Martin scare you too?
<piman> Based on the way he dances, I think he's Steve Ballmer's long lost twin...
#1749
<timmo> what music should i download tonight
<timmo> oh shit
<timmo> i think im missing the carebears;[
<c-rOCK> CAREBEARS IS STILL ON?
<c-rOCK> NO WAY WHAT CHAN
<timmo> toon disney
<c-rOCK> dude I loved that show
#301594
<SEAL> You know how Toyota is having a ton of problems
<SEAL> With the accelerator pedals getting stuck at full throttle
<SEAL> Well, they really need to change their slogan
<SEAL> To something besides "Moving Forward"
<SEAL> The irony is astonishing
#50686
<lude> do you type things just to see your nick scroll up the screen?
#51343
<wils0r> I was hearing about that guy
<wils0r> Jude Law or whatever
<wils0r> he has the best life ever
<loko> cuz hes fuckin the nanny or why
<wils0r> he fucked the nanny, and then his hot ass wife took him back, made him make up a list of all the girls he fucked
<wils0r> and now he is in trouble because he inadvertantly left kate moss off the list, who he had a 3some with
<wils0r> so wtf
<wils0r> does life get better than being able to forget about a 3some with kate moss
#747
<Keiichi> I hope you eat a dog-shit taco and fucking die.
<|Dan|> NOT ZESTY
#18869
<hoho> i wonder where skorn and iceman are
<hoho> i think they both got arrested by the FBI
<prophet> haaa
<NickBlasta> probably
<NickBlasta> jeep must have ratted cause of the 10gb of vids of jeeps mom skorn had
<isajeep> w...t...h?
<NickBlasta> oh hey jeep didnt see you there
<isajeep> *grumble*
#304583
Adam|Lunch: How can I play a sound using jQuery?
coldhead: rename jquery.js to jquery.wav
Comment: #jquery on freenode
#206512
<zaapiel> mplayer palestinian_girls_go_jihad_on_jewish_cock.avi
<zaapiel> doh wrong term
#11212
<arckbar> I was putting in a new sound card, and I accidently ejaculated all over the inside my computer. Now my computer won't turn on. Any advice on what I should do?
<arckbar> Basically I blanked, I was putting in the card, and when I came to, there was cum all inside the machine, and my computer wouldn't work
#33407
<Monique> i reached a whole new level of internet geekdom.
<Monique> i was at quiznos eating my soup and i saw a car outside and its license plate said 911 AFK
<Monique> and i burst out laughing
#302407
<Dustin> Me: "What can I get for you?"
<Dustin> Customer: "I want a small popcorn, and don�t try to upsell me a medium!"
<Dustin> Me: "Can I interest you in a large then?"
<Dustin> Customer: "I want to speak to your manager."
Comment: #chatspike on irc.chatspike.net
#17269
<isajeep> I told pagan I was purging my system and she thought I was fapping
<isajeep> wtf
#26246
<D4NG3R0U5> one time, in my science class, i had this dream...
<daenonok> dude you slept in class?
<D4NG3R0U5> in which my girlfriend (who sat a few seats away) got up, and, on her way over to me took off her top, then got on her knees and unzipped my pants
<D4NG3R0U5> yeah i slept in class, sometimes (when i decided it was time for my medication)
<D4NG3R0U5> and, bc the night before she gave me head irl, the dream was really vivid...woke up, everyone was lookin at me...
<D4NG3R0U5> then the teacher went back on talkin, and everyone turned back around...that haunts me
#52
<Tsk> oiuyniyu98h987h89yh87y98yjn987j987y897yhkiuk;''''
<Tsk> sorry.. there was a spider on my keyboard.
#35569
<ds91> <3
<ds91> <#
<ds91> <3
<ds91> <#
<ds91> U MAKE MY HEART POUND
#52628
blazewing: DUDE WHERE IS HE
amier (dead): right there mofo
blazewing: IM OUTTA BULLETS QUICK HOW DO I RELOAD
blazewing: HOW BITCHES TELL ME
amier (dead): F5!
blazewing: ITS NOT RELOADING
kayanami: LOL
blazewing: THANKS MOTHERFUCKER I'M DEAD YOU BUNCH OF FAGGOTS ARE THE WORST TEAMMATES EVER
amier (dead): Oh, you were talking about the game? I thought you meant firefox