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#14648
<pandz>the computer guy at the store told me to flash my bios...i says to him flash this...
#9111
<ChuffyCow> pr0n heals all wounds
<ChuffyCow> except cuts on the penis.
#3260
<c-rOCK> damn my cell phone still reeks of pussy
<c-rOCK> wheres the febreze
<Goemon> Hmm...Did you put it on vibrate?
#5500
<Hahn> Zara, have you ever killed anyone with a crowbar during a soccer riot?
<Zaratustra> Didn't have the chance.
<Hahn> That sounds like an excuse to me.
#50765
<wenko> today in java the prof asked the class for a simple iterator where we can use some math
<wenko> so this one guy pipes up and says "Make it an address book, and It will calcuate the percentage of girls that slept with you"
<wenko> the prof looks up and says "I can't do that", meaning its not appropriate
<wenko> so the guy yells back "why not?"
<wenko> and the first thing that came to mind i said "You get an error when you divide by zero"
Comment: ...Im now failing that class...
#5307
<Jewedass> atarax: Find yourself a nice 26 year old woman and pretend she's two 13 year olds
#34187
<gorF> cool, I get viruses sent to my email as well as porn now
<Genki> heh
<gorF> what more could you want
<gorF> ...apart from actual messages
<SirLuke-X> Well, one of them is good.
<MadRhetoric> Porn an virii?
<MadRhetoric> A lethal mix.
<gorF> yeah, its like an electronic prostitute
Comment: #zebeth dreamIRC
#33617
(@Sh3kel) I'm bored to the point I'm considering installing Black and White :/
#19385
<Dragon_Goddess> i scanned a piece of toast
<Zack`> and you must be proud.
#34306
<Jerec> I went to the bookstore this morning and saw a book called 'AOL for Dummies'
<Jerec> That's like killing one bird with two stones!
#307156
Pizzicato: In my head, the way the defence budget in the states is handled is some dude pules up to a drive-thru window at a huge factory and a voice crackles over the intercom
Pizzicato: 'Hi, welcome to the DoD! How can I help you?'
Pizzicato: The guys looks at the menu and goes 'Uhhhhhhhh I'll take....2,433 F-35s, 30 Virginia class submarines, a fleet of V-22s, FA-18EFs, and another fleet of EA-18Gs'.
Pizzicato: Then the dude on the intercom says 'Okay, that will be 137 billion dollars, please pull around to the second window!'
Comment: #EquestriaAfterDark on GeekShed (irc.geekshed.net)
#30091
<+Killgunner> Alb is my personal hero
<@Albatross[BTEG]> Your hero is going to go eat spaghetti and get laid
<@Albatross[BTEG]> Later
Comment: #bteg, Gamesnet
#11322
<RunninRaven> I don't think I have once asked Jeeves a damn thing
<moestavern19> I asked him once where i could find some kick-ass porn
<RunninRaven> What did he say?
<moestavern19> he said kickassporn.com
#20136
<Beige> It's one o'clock.
<Beige> Do you know where your children are?
<Apollyon> In my testes.
#303762
< man_in_shack> anyone here good with configuring hal?
<+blast007> just don't give him two contradicting objectives and you'll be fine
#24206
<Ganja> weed is good
<xooz98> that opinion sounds strangely biased
#31756
* DigDug has joined #ramen
<Morris> You get the ankles, and I'll get the wrists...
<DigDug> ack!
#29498
<+FuelDizzle> i wish i was a midget i'd dress up as a leperchaun
#12941
<@Twitch`> i almost got into a fight at futureshop last night
<@Twitch`> these two guys were talking about NWN, and i said before they played that they should go on 'thine quest to wash thy hair'
<@Twitch`> they had long stringy gross oily hair, it almost made me sick to my stomach
<@Twitch`> they said 'fuck you'
<@Twitch`> then i said 'fuck you'
<@Twitch`> then this store guy asked me to go look at stuff somewhere else
<@Path`> haha
#48005
<fittysix> elmo, if the internet were a city there'd be a resturaunt everyone reccomends, but when you walk in you see a gaping anus
Comment: #genmay on irc.0id.net
#6155
<Mooglez> the lack of intelligent and cultured converstaion bores me
<Mooglez> laterz bitchez
#16523
<WoHo> jacob I have the highest grades in english in mah class :[
<WoHo> my only prob is that I facken write in class like I write on irc
<WoHo> my teachers comes up to me and asks
<Nold> rofl
<WoHo> wats ppl ?
<WoHo> wats r ?
<Nold> lol
<WoHo> wats mah ?
<WoHo> dude
<Nold> lolu
<WoHo> its bad :[
#33428
<~kid[0]> odd
<~kid[0]> so friday
<~kid[0]> i drank alot of beer
<~kid[0]> yesterday i woke up feeling fine
<~kid[0]> today i wake p and my head hurts
<~kid[0]> wtf?
<+x24> lag
Comment: #gideontech
#304603
<Chroder> sometimes i touch the screen and then click on the mouse at the same time and pretend like its a touch screen.
#7175
<Punk-In-Drublic> ill look at my penis... and laugh... or will i cry??
<Mousey> it deoends if you drew a happy face or a sad face on it ross