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#17091
<Cyberllam> today has been about nothing but good news
<Cyberllam> earlier i found out that I was pregnant with twins
<juntog> are they mine?
<HaLLowCat> they better not be
<Cyberllam> no, but they can be, for the low, low price of 3 low payments of 29.95 each
#50433
< TMH-> DEAR MOTHERFUCKING KDE DEVELOPERS
< TMH-> HEY I'VE GOT A CRAZY IDEA FOR YOU
< TMH-> WHEN I SET A FILE ASSOCIATION LIKE MPLAYER OPENS AVI FILES
< TMH-> IT MIGHT MEAN THAT I WANT MPLAYER TO OPEN AVI FILES
< TMH-> LOVE,
< TMH-> TMH
<+swight1> what a concept
<ducklord> you're crazy
#18711
<smg-neut> jnine7101p31@cg.yu
<smg-neut> 3 foot telescoping demon cock.......CHECK
<smg-neut> ..wtf..
<smg-neut> Other people get virii, but I'm the lucky recipient of emails about 3 foot telescoping demon cocks.
#138941
<Siege> oh dear lord
<Siege> i might have fucked up bad
<Siege> i was taking this test in my anthropology class and the question asked about the last common ancestor between chimpanzees and humans
<Siege> im pretty sure i accidentally wrote something like "although they share many similarities, the humans and chinese branched off into different species ages ago"
<Siege> instead of chimpanzees
Comment: irc.lessthanthree.us #<3
#118241
<Ves> Curt teh Juggler: our graduation ceremony was today, and right when some gamer nerd got his diploma, someone in the audience played the zelda "get item" music and he did the zelda spin-hold-out-item stance
<Ves> Curt teh Juggler: it was quite possibly the most amazing thing ever.
Comment: #dirt - Timboss
#52003
<Sp3cial> well ok, shitty computer, I'd better not bump the desk or you might start making heaps of noise.
<Sp3cial> an smell like smoke...
<Sp3cial> HOLY FUCK SHIT FUCK
<Sp3cial> OH DEAR GOD FIRE SHIT
#33988
<jonathans> they're muslim
<jonathans> there is no light at the end of the tunnel
<jonathans> just another tunnel
#29914
<LEitW> Hmm, if Arnold wins the election, will he remember it tomorrow?
<Orca> He'll probably grope somebody nearby in celebration...
<LEitW> That's a given
<SuperXdude> if he loses, will he say "I'll be back..."?
#51079
<[SD]Away> god i hate the my gf is an oper on a network...makes argueing impossible
Comment: random.sssinc2003.net #hosting
#308363
<@lysol> do you guys know about the len() function
<@pyna> yeah but i call it lennie() cause we tight
#3106
<Maxstah> GOD what i'd do for gwen (stefani) to just kiss the tip of my cock
<Javi> you'd blow me?
<Maxstah> javi i'd swallow
<Maxstah> i'm comfortable with my hentrosexuality
<Maxstah> long as i have a coke to chase it down with
#48646
KNRListner44| my usb coffee heater is a bit slow ;x
Del-AFK| Powered from the USB port?
KNRListner44| mmhm
Del-AFK| that's a maximum of 400 ma
KNRListner44| ..
KNRListner44| lemme get the firewire 800 <-> usb adapater
KNRListner44| will more heat data get sent if it's usb 2.0?
Del-AFK| no
KNRListner44| was that an insanely stupid question
Del-AFK| if you're an electrical engineer it was.
#301528
<@Z1LCH> hmm
<@Z1LCH> I got a custard headache
<+raz> do you mean cluster headache?
<@Z1LCH> no
<@Z1LCH> I ate custard
<@Z1LCH> and now I have a headache
<@Z1LCH> custard headache
#10058
<eV`Zenoge> Isn't herpies food?
<eV`Zenoge> like chocolate
<eV`Zenoge> wait a minute
<eV`Zenoge> thats hershes
#37027
<JudeTepes> The gay test timed out while calculating my percentage.... I hope that's nothign bad.
Comment: #rm2k on irc.dynastynet.net
#2544
<bunni> your dick is small!!!
<bunni> i can't even see it!!!
<monkey> because i am girl!!!!
#310172
<Bike> i'm ten pages in to an ethernet-phy manual and i'm pretty sure the internet is impossible
#14591
<@odoyle> guess how much the whole divorce costed me?
<+xenu> 100,000$
<@odoyle> not a penny
<@odoyle> the nice lawyer lady next door did it for free
<@[KdAwG]> odoyle: boom boom?
<@odoyle> nah
<@[KdAwG]> pft
<@[KdAwG]> you know you hit that ;)
#33222
<_Zippo^_> I see Goatse as an Internet Initiation. If you haven't seen goatse, and you're using the net, you don't belong.
<ninj4> yeah. Once you hit like 13, then its like part of becoming a man
#300455
<Alter-Ego> what you should do cougem is knock the girl out with all the drugs and stuff
<Alter-Ego> then put her balls in her mouth
<+Asestorian> ...
<%cougem> ...
<Alter-Ego> and get someone to take a photo
<+Asestorian> what
<%cougem> ...
<%cougem> Alter-Ego have u ever seen a naked girl
#154996
<sungo> I love resumes.
<sungo> Folks, fucking proofread your resumes.
<sungo> This guy has been a web developer since Aug 2997
<cat-xeger> sungo - novel...
<drforr> I didn't know they will have had web in 2997...
<sungo> if we still have php in 2997, I'm setting off the nukes RIGHT NOW
#14500
@(F|uid) candlelight dinners suck
@(F|uid) i cant see my food
#130097
<+openfly> i did a self evaluation once.
<+openfly> i don't think they'll ever ask for one again.
<+openfly> i had fucking charts in it.
#85719
< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail
#309850
<bbitmaster> bah, this is the dumbest thing ever. I broke linux mint over the silliest thing, and I am quite pissed.
<bbitmaster> The bottom panel was too small. I was adjusting it to be more manageable. I accidentally right clicked on the "+" in the dialog that makes it larger.
<bbitmaster> right clicking causes it to go to max size. It now fills the screen and I can't go to any other window or menu or anything. I restarted and it kept that setting.
* 1 hour later
<bbitmaster> I joined the linux mint help channel, the guy there helping me suddenly left
<bbitmaster> he came back and said he was stupid enough to "recreate my problem"
<bbitmaster> and now he's in the same boat