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#16150
<TF-Carbon16> Okies... heres how it works...
<TF-Carbon16> when i first encountered halflife, the deathmatch mod... like hl multiplayer
<TF-Carbon16> i loved it and...
<TF-Carbon16> one day, i was sitting in science class high as a kite
<TF-Carbon16> and, the teacher, was talking about the element carbon, and mentioned that the isatope carbon16 is rare, unstable, and random
<TF-Carbon16> then said sumthin about its halflife
<TF-Carbon16> and i was like half life, rare and unstable... sounds like me
<TFr-c0k3> thats a lot of shit for a name man
<TFr-c0k3> i got mine from looking at a coke can on my desk ;)
#7972
<ChuffyCow> I'm having a bagel with nutella
<chrish> gnutella?! it'll take you all day to download that bagel!
#6377
<glasnost> i remember how DOS had no command for recursive removes
<glasnost> until they added deltree
<Logan> glasnost: deltree
<glasnost> thanks logan.
#8102
<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)
#249451
Tim333: You sound like a real winner
rockstar111: is that a good thing
Tim333: Have you ever heard of "sarcasm" or "irony", rockstar?
rockstar111: what
Tim333: Wow. It must be nice to be invulnerable to insult by means of incomprehension.
rockstar111: what the hell r u talking about
#28937
<Kitsa> there used to be one doc who would put apple juice in a urine collection cup
<Kitsa> and walk into the patient room
<Kitsa> take a big swig
<Kitsa> and say "tastes fine to me"
<Kitsa> I always wanted to secretly switch it out with real urine
<Kitsa> the spit-take on that one would be great
#6229
<aXo> What an amazing weekend I had! I ate thirteen TV dinners, jacked off sixteen times and consumed one alcoholic beverage all without moving from this chair. I'm about to watch Godfather Part 3, then eat a bag of Doritos and pass out in a pool of my own saliva.
#294708
<@|silicon> awesome customer of the day
<@|silicon> got a T1 point-to-point from us
<@|silicon> which you know would require 2 T1 routers
<@|silicon> so he goes to Fry's and gets two linksys 54gs
<@|silicon> no less than 3 people had to explain to him
<@|silicon> that will not work
<@|silicon> THEY ARE ROUTERS WHY NOT?!
<@|silicon> incredible irrational anger
<@|silicon> wow
<@|silicon> he seriously called SBC
<@|silicon> and they told him it would not work
<@|silicon> then he believed us
Comment: #geekissues EFNet
#19049
<NestyPoo> man
<NestyPoo> this d00d tried to get his hat from under a rollercoaster
<NestyPoo> one of those upside down rollercoasters
<NestyPoo> he got kicked by some women in a passing rollercoaster and he lost his head
<NestyPoo> the woman broke her foot and is suing for damages
<rhythm> savage
<rhythm> did he get his hat back
<Chalupa_J> well good hats arent exactly cheap
#13916
*** tate|work is now known as tate
<chaoticset_Perling> Hey tate
<tate> yo, chaotic
<tate> I just did two of the dumbest things possible
<chaoticset_Perling> ...first?
<tate> the first was staying up all night as part of a plan to attempt to reset my internal clock
<chaoticset_Perling> ...and the second?
<tate> the second was laying down in bed two hours before work thinking I could catch just one hour of sleep
<chaoticset_Perling> LOL!
#20670
<|DeadPan|> I dont get drunk
<|DeadPan|> i am in control of my faculties
<PT-Away> thats cause your a moron
<PT-Away> err mormon
<Terry> same shit
#15704
<PetrDoubt> OK, kids...what's the maximum number of SOAs per zone?
<PetrDoubt> If you said 2, you have a career waiting for you at Verio!
#31949
<Riley> We used to telnet uphill both ways in the snow and we LIKED IT!
#57564
<BlackDeth> so if pantera would be considered too heavy for you might as well go put on some hawthorne heights and go cut slits in your arm while you cry about the boy that dumped you
<splice> that is beautiful.
<splice> slight point deduction for letting on that you know an emo band name
<BlackDeth> invalidated by the fact that you obviously know it too
#29668
<Bob> Clive got upset the other day when Marketing emailed him a PDF of a TIFF of a Fax of a printout of a world-accessable web page.
Comment: Transcribed from a talker conversation
#33738
<interface|work> I need a marriageautopilot.exe program with an /unattend switch
<[G4]CowBook> marriage.exe /q/y
<[G4]CowBook> heh
<interface|work> lol
<[G4]CowBook> or in unix:
<[G4]CowBook> ./marriage > /dev/null 2>&1
<interface|work> rofl
<[G4]CowBook> i'd just set up a cron job for it actually
<[G4]CowBook> :P
<interface|work> to run daily?
<]CkB[Janus> lol
<[G4]CowBook> doesn't matter to me, as long as it's redirected to /dev/null
<[G4]CowBook> it can run every minute as far as i care
Comment: #ckb, irc.gamesurge.net
#40323
02:45:47 [dbcalo] UK DOCTORS have discovered a form of hypochondria which is developed by surfing the web and misdiagnosing your own illnesses, according to a new study.
03:32:21 [Rn] i'm at a loss for words
03:32:22 * Rn googles
03:33:11 [Rn] oh my god i have Motor Neuron Disease
#56643
<b0b> fucking hell dude
<b0b> i hate when the salsa in the jar gets low
<b0b> and I try to get it out with a chip and it gets all of my fingers
<b0b> and i just end up crying myself to sleep with my fingers covered in salsa
#19066
(eXit) sorry, i dont have the internet, I have a new technology called broadband
#300759
tfpen: kind of ironic that a "full service ad agency" outsources their site
tfpen: unless this is your employer...
nomercy: my entire career is doing websites for people who say they do websites
#16536
<MercyBeat04> linux command prompts are like dos on acid with a credit card out on the town. You can do anything.
#55209
<Dr_Ian> you are a racist, Maketakunai
<Maketakunai> So what if I am?
<Maketakunai> You have something against racists?
<Dr_Ian> you have something against races?
<Maketakunai> Yes
<Maketakunai> they make my feet hurt
#959
(Atarax) DrConway: They also had such a poorly designed network that I set my computer's IP to the IP of their gateway and took the entire college network down
#17405
<Blade> what's for supper my beautiful wife?
<Blade> you on a silver platter?
<Blade> CPU: AMD Athlon Thunderbird clocked at 1453.26 MHz
<Blade> OS: Microsoft Windows 98 Second Edition [4.10.2222]
<Blade> RAM: 257MB / 512MB <29% load>
<Blade> Video: NVIDIA GeForce2 MX/MX 400 (1024x768x16 bits) <63MB/64MB video RAM>
<Blade> Sound: SB Live! Wave Device (Driver Version: 5.0) [Stereo]
<Blade> Network Interfaces: NDIS 5.0 driver (Ethernet) <10000000 bps> [5.4 MB received / 0.3 MB sent]
<Blade> Disk: a:\ ()[]: 0.0GB/0.0GB....c:\ (WINDOZE)[FAT32]: 4.4GB/4.9GB....d:\ (BUZINESS)[FAT32]: 12.4GB/12.6GB....e:\ (PLEAZURE)[FAT32]: 22.0GB/23.7GB....f:\ ()[]: 0.0GB/0.0GB
<Blade> Uptime: 0 days, 1 hrs, 2 mins, 3 secs
<SK> what a great prelude to sex.
<SK> system information.
#19596
<Q> Verily I say unto thee: Whomsoever quoth "I am a hottie" on the internet, doth lie unto thee.