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#2415
<Dude> did ya hear poland bought 5000 septic tanks?
<DatDawg> why?
<Dude> as soon as the figure out how to drive them there invading russia
#1302
<|Chris> okay...here's one
<|Chris> what's the worst crime you've ever commited?
<Guilty> I once taped a Golden Girls episode with only implyed oral permission and not expressed written permission
#26312
<IgWannA> why do scots wear kilts? ..... because sheep have gotten used to the sound of a zipper
#6197
<barkode:#916> i'm a fan of real time irc.
<barkode:#916> not this playing-chess-via-postal-mail-to-uzbekistan irc strategy kubla has
#1069
<orion`-`-> what the fuck
<orion`-`-> i think the icecream truck just hit a kid
<orion`-`-> brbrb
#7839
<rob`> I mean, who would have thought that blood congeals into a pudding? :9
#39727
trillium45: So today, i was mowing the lawn and i could smell something burning
trillium45: and i thought, how nice, the smell of burning leaves in autumn
trillium45: so i was happily mowing along
trillium45: and then i looked down and saw flames shooting out of the lawn mower
#44705
<aslplz> w0w dood i juz had a epiphany
<FoSZoR> I dont understand this. How can someone so stupid use such a big word?
<aslplz> google :<
#40081
<sxh> http://chriscobra.topcities.com/wang.jpg
<Kenn> wtf
<utopian> hahahaha snow
<utopian> you just wanged him
<c-rOCK> im still waiting for that day when a girls about to gimme head
<c-rOCK> whips it out
<c-rOCK> and is like
<c-rOCK> MAN IVE SEEN THIS WANG ONLINE BEFORE
Comment: #geekissues
#298126
<@John> I hear that it's really helpful for your speech and pronunciation to take your top off on webcam....something to do with the shirt constricting your voicebox and the extra internet traffic ensuring good ping
#24440
<seth> Dammit, I've had hiccups for the past TWO HOURS!
<icon> Have you tried $USELESS_REMEDY?
<seth> I've tried all @USELESS_REMEDIES!
#961
<berzerker> my girlfriend is lucky because i enjoy giving oral sex
<Ash> She likes to watch, eh, berzo?
#27273
* moralove has joined #SimGames
<moralove> !list
<moralove> !find simcity
<sine-wave> !goaway
<sine-wave> !nowarezhere
<moralove> !haveagooddaynegativity
* moralove has left #SimGames
#314
<WhiteAWAY> someone told me trance music makes you sterile
#159367
<SgnaTriste> I used to give the entries in my Thunderbird address book nicknames like "smartass", "deadhead" or "nincompoop" until I noticed that they're sent along in the TO-header.
#14221
<Sierro> I took her out for lunch...
<Sierro> to McDonalds
<Sierro> I feel like a 15 year old
<phantom> hehe, where ya gonna get one at 4am?
#1030
<iMike> what excuse do you use when you skip school
<c-rOCK> say you have a fat migraine
<c-rOCK> and cant see straight
<Guilty> Speaking of fat and not straight, wheres D1
#23879
Ubie> I'll worry about policies when I get my own intern
#15817
<RikisuuDelta> i'm glad my parents dont play quake, they'd frag my ass and tell me it's dinner time
#21148
<StmChser> anyone here know any good gay pron sites?
<StmChser> er
<StmChser> pay
<StmChser> shi
<StmChser> t
#39087
<^Sasquatch^> AFK = Away From Komputer
#30
<pezmasta> my band is gonna be called: rage against the answering machine
#18516
BeHeMoTh101 : dude, penises shouldn't leak
TX Luder : uh... does yours?
BeHeMoTh101 : ok after you pee
TX Luder : oh, yeah
BeHeMoTh101 : you could stand over the toilet forever and not be drained
TX Luder : oh, well i manufactured a crude devise using a valve from a prosthetic heart and some exopy glue... it works wonders
BeHeMoTh101 : how does that even function
TX Luder : you know, i probably should have figured out how it would work before i glued it to my penis, but ya win some ya lose some
#39733
Jaeger2288: actually your right, i dont aim i just unzip and let gravity and mass do the rest
longlivemarneus: lmfao
Jaeger2288: sorta like those installed ironing boards, if you hit the button its gunna come out hard and fast and someone may get hurt
#310318
<danh> there is this insanely important insanely crazy suite of perl scripts here
<danh> this guy is here trying to figure out why it doesnt work
<danh> he has a value '7.0.3'
<danh> he keeps calling it a float
<danh> he keeps trying to multiply it
<danh> im looking him up in LDAP
<danh> he's been here for 5 years
<danh> now he's multiplying it by 1 to make it an integer