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#50951
<Como> mom brought me apple pie
<Como> in bed
<Como> no wonder dad married her
#260967
Dexi: so..... I got a black eye at work today...
Grim: haha how?
Dexi: you know how in cartoons when someone steps on a rake, it comes up and hits them in the face?
Dexi: yeah that really happens.
#6619
<Jon^D> if I was gay and in ireland I'd score with gav
<Jon^D> he's my hero
<Jon^D> he'd probably have to be gay too mind
<arioch> those repressed homosexual tendencies are coming to the surface now
<Jon^D> I wish I was gay
#8080
<z_evil1> what would be the good of a 3m dong? apart from the fact that you could only use the tip of it, not even that if it was in proportion, it would be reeeeal easy to get damaged, you'd have lag problems with sensations along it's length, and it would make you pass out upon erection :P
<z_evil1> mind you, you might be able to hang yourself with a 3m dong
<z_evil1> imagine that for a front page headline
<Bug> tie it round.. get an erection.. it'll do all the work..
<z_evil1> "IRC addicted freak hangs self with genitals"
#45121
* mrben has a friend who purposefully, when in the cinema, asks for cockporn instead of popcorn...
#10052
<Kiz`> a semi decent looking girl can get laid whenever she wants
<Kiz`> just go up to a guy
<Kiz`> "sex?"
<Kiz`> a guy can't do such things
<Yuffie> Maybe you haven't gone up to the right guy?
#1869
<D\TOX> I'm 16% bodyfat
<D\TOX> I have a one pack
<jube_> a keg?
#40901
* sanjay has joined #hack
<sanjay> im very much in love with a girl since past 6 yrs ..it was all going fine
<riddler> oh hell no
<riddler> don't make me DoS you, boy
<sanjay> but recently i have started feeling that she is now changing .. and trying to ignore me
<sanjay> i think she has someone else now in her life .. im still very much in love with her
<sanjay> can anyone hack her email id for me .. i just wana check her emails ..
<riddler> I'm SO banning everyone when i get ops back
#22113
<@RickBitch> If you break up with a chick, and u see her and her new boyfriend together some time, go up to the boyfriend and say
<@RickBitch> "Just remember, everytime you kiss those lips, my dicks been there"
#140717
< TXX> i got free version : D (of xchat)
< ^Hav0c^> the one that crashes when you click the icon in the taskbar?
/*/ [Out] TXX
(~TrickyXX@cpe.atm4-0-78119.0x573d1992.aaanxx4.customer.tele.dk) has
quit [Read error: Connection reset by peer]
< TheDarkestDay> yup
#301957
<SnowGryphon> At a local internet cafe, I saw the most curious sight - a young man running a browser in a virtual machine and posting on PS3-centric forums. I became aware of the fact that the virtual machine software was linking the host and the VM so that the VM could use the net. Thus, I was given the rare privilege of witnessing an actual troll under a (NAT) bridge.
#304619
<pharazon> being a conductor is like the closest thing there is to being a wizard
<pharazon> you just wave your arms and stuff happens
#13625
<Sumez> there's no way a girl could ever imagine the pain of being hurt in the testicles
<Mort-Hog> emma: The pain oozes up, and your ahems swell up to the size of pomigranits, your voice goes high and squeky, and your eye lids flicker.
<MrCoulomb> I thought that's what happened when you get possesed by mickey mouse...
#13424
<diranged> silly ghost bear
<diranged> where's no sense there's no feeling
<diranged> so pointing pistol at my head is rather useless
#14369
<_aa_> ebay just bought paypal
<tezzO> they did?!
<tardmac> what was their winning bid?
#14674
<Normandy> I told my sis to go to hotmail to set up her own email account, and she went to www.hotmale.com and now she thinks I'm gay ;(
#6511
<monami> this utility has a macro recording function but no loop command
<monami> so i record a macro, and then put a stapler on the keyboard to hold the button down
<monami> and go have coffee
<monami> i note that the stapler, on the whole, is a more efficient and productive employee than i am
#28815
<Rhamphoryncus> damnit, why does it have to be so hard to discuss quantum physics in sex channels?!
#38290
<X-G> DDustin: It's really about choosing the right language for the task.
<X-G> DDustin: If you don't need builtin string parsing, but you DO need speed, C++ is for you.
<X-G> DDustin: If you don't care so much about performance, but want to be able to mash random keys and have them be a program that ends world hunger, Perl is for you
Comment: #allegro
#30241
<jimx> Two families move from Lebanon to America. When they arrive the two fathers make a bet - in a year's time whichever family has become more American will win.
<jimx> A year later they meet again:
<jimx> The first man says, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?"
<jimx> The second man replies, "Fuck you, towelhead."
<Fiery_isles> haha
<Tarrasque> hahaah
#32810
<Kneecaps> anybody up for some key signing?
<Kneecaps> nobody about :(
<SlayerXP> key signing?
<SlayerXP> as in "hello complete stranger I met on IRC, please sign my GPG key so people will trust the key more."
<Kneecaps> yes
<Kneecaps> thats right
<SlayerXP> . <- the point -> your direction of travel
#50168
<Montag> "Ubuntu" is an ancient African word, meaning "I can't configure Slackware".
Comment: Thats what Ubuntu means...
#305948
<ttvd> these msvc error messages are so Zen
<ttvd> it's like a freaking koan, you get it, then you ponder on it for like forever
<ttvd> and then the answer is completely something else, totally not related
Comment: EFNet #C++
#2877
<AlmtyBob> Groups such as Cyberangels and Pedowatch have picked up the slack by enlisting thousands of volunteers across the globe to scan the Internet for lurid images of children.
<AlmtyBob> wow
<AlmtyBob> sounds like my kind of job
<AlmtyBob> and to think, I'm doing it for free as we speak
#262692
<Elleo> someone should open a geek pub that only plays prog rock called The Progress Bar