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#13876
<@Beramode> nall?
<+Nall> Huh?
<@Beramode> are you outside my apartment?
<@Beramode> it sounds like someone's raping a duck out there, but i don't wanna look, so i had to ask.
<+Nall> ...Are you room 7F?
<@Beramode> maybe..
<@Beramode> are you raping a duck?
<+Nall> maybe..
#309410
<kentari> There's a huge disaster.
<kentari> The bodies are being piled up.
<kentari> How do they identify yours among the corpses?
<kentari> That's how I ask people to describe themselves on dates.
<Caltak> o_o
<kentari> it unsettles people and gives me two things: reactions, and time
<Caltak> Like, when you're already physically there with them and can see them?
<kentari> that way while they answer, I ignore them
<kentari> and I plan my next move :P
#265316
xskycrasherx: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: BLACK PRESIDENT
#114
<Dreamlyre> wife, hooker...its about the same...you gotta pay for it
#30849
<JFeeple> OONGABOONGAWOONIEWEEKIETOOVIE!
<OrcaW> I was only joking that you should take meth Feeps :p
#31921
<Wallrod> i hate having my room right next to the bathroom
<Wallrod> i have to hear my dad take a shit
<Wallrod> EVEN DEATH METAL DOESNT COVER ALL THE FREQUENCIES MY DAD'S ASS BROADCASTS ON
#25428
<BitchX> [She] can't find the serial #
I told her it was on the disk...so she ejected the disk and told me it wasn't on it, then showed me the top of the disk
#29613
<LordByron{l}> I didn't steal nuthin.... I "reassigned ownership"
Comment: ACN #bdsm_dungeon
#105387
< Nugget> internet6.irs.gov - - [04/Sep/2007:07:58:02 -0500] "GET /mroadster/ HTTP/1.1" 200 6537
< Nugget> this can't end well. :)
#8359
<Tantalus|RO> No one can resist hot monkey sex
<Tovart> Except hot monkey females with a headache.
#306
<NtG> people beta test a MS product every time they boot windows
#86852
<jeeves> so we got these new sliding filing shelfs put in today
<jeeves> and a bud was grabbing some files, so he hit the latch to slide the shelf over
<jeeves> pushing it against some other shelfs
<jeeves> so i ran and stood inbetween the closing shelfs
<jeeves> and shouted "Shut down all the trash compactors on the detention level!- No, all of them!"
<jeeves> naturally, my bud was startled and stopped
<jeeves> so I started laughing my ass off and walked out of the filing room
<jeeves> nobody got the joke :(
<op> dude you're a geek
<jeeves> i know
#937
<QuoteSick> >:)
<QuoteSick> {:-)
<zantispam> :-{
<zantispam> ^^^ moustache
<zantispam> :-{>
<zantispam> ^^^ goatee
<acestus> {:-) ?
<acestus> Toupee?
<DigDug> >8)
<finkployd> :(-<(&) - not happy having a tapeworm
#33338
<DimaV> aight, i am gonna go think about what i did wrong today
*** DimaV is now known as DimaV_bathroom
#45172
<Phlip> I'm not insensitive! I'm political-correctness-deprived!
#25193
<CrazySpence> my moms like "do you have the paper towels" *i hand them over* "I know you use them for jerking off" *laughs and closes the door*
#28828
<Nimduin> I'm black. In a white kind of way.
<Nimduin> At least, I have a black sweatshirt.
<doobedoobedoo> You're whiter than milk!
<spunky> And fattier than Cream.
#54860
(Deranged): Haha... me and a friend were riding around today, and we stopped at a traffic light where there were two high school girls standing on the corner waiting to cross.
(Deranged): So my friend rolls down his window and asked one of the girls, "Hey, what can I get for ten dollars?"
(Deranged): They both opened their mouths in shock, so I leaned over and said, "Really? Then what can I get for $20?"
(Deranged): Turns out we can get cussed out for free. :/
#34787
<W_J_F> where can i get a wav - mp3 converter?
<@eggburt> google lame
<W_J_F> where can i download google egg?
#13537
<Ajplus1> My plan is to make a steel ball, put my video games and chips in there, then roll myself into the ocean, where I'll be safe
<zardolf> how will you get out?
<Ajplus1> I don't think that far
#5406
*** Swish changes topic to '"I never pirated it....it was donated. by the file fairy. I put a blank CD under my pillow..."'
#298387
<@Venkman> anyone here got experience of an intel atom CPU under general usage conditions?
<efum> you are in luck sir
<@Venkman> what's normal Windows usage like compared to a Core 2?
<efum> i merely meant sir that you are currently in #advice, the most powerful advisory medium on the internet
<@Venkman> you suck
<efum> i know
#28953
<kare> The next Microsoft OS will have a new anti piracy feature: it will come in an arcade cabinet and you'll need to insert coins to boot it or start a program
#149510
<Sambito> 4chan is like your retarded nephew.
<Sambito> When he was little you thought his antics were funny
<Sambito> But now he's 28
<Sambito> And it's just sad.
#4083
<[ric]> puddy.. but I need to live on the internet... without p0rn I would forget what a naked woman looks like!
<[ric]> I know there are those magazine things, but hey I keep clicking [next] and the pages don't turn!
<winmutt> ric thats scares me
* winmutt looks ric up on the sexual offender listings
<[ric]> what scares me more is that it will end up in geekQuotes... (again.. sigh!)
<[ric]> what I would like to know is how come all my inspirational leaps of genius, stunning breakthroughs in code or precise observational musings don't end up in geekQuotes, just the ones that make me look like some drunken, banter merchant, goth obsessed nutter seem to make it!
* [ric] looks squarely in Jumper's direction, and taps his foot...