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#2566
<timmo> if aol has ever taught me anything its the alt+ codes
<timmo> MACRO SKILLZ FO LYPHE
#45258
<@FL1X> more experience = more fun
<@FL1X> tighter holes = better goals
<@Soldier|UK> take it ur not talking about golf then
#11251
<Zombie> will you beat up Red Sky for me?
<Ryco> no =P
<Zombie> He almost cost me my JOB
<kesu-cho> what did RS do
<kesu-cho> that almost cost you your job?
<Zombie> He told my Boss I wanted to have sex with him
#61188
<NoelCower> Before you is a pie. There is a door leading to the east.
<Wiebo> > take pie
<NoelCower> You take the pie, storing it in your anus.
<Wiebo> > e
<NoelCower> The door is locked.
<Wiebo> > die
<NoelCower> You die with a pie up your ass. You should have examined it -- there was a key in it.
#15213
|MallBrat[essay]| :"I remember the first time I jacked off. I thought I invented it. I looked down at my handful of junk and thought, 'I'm gonna be rich.''
#3320
<spd-dmn> lee: hows the baybee
<Virtualee> spd-dmn She's great! Growing so fast!
<spd-dmn> aw
<spd-dmn> got any pics?
<spazzer> has she sprouted appendages yet?
<KK-> lol
<spazzer> don't babies grow like potatos?
<spd-dmn> ahaha
<spd-dmn> spazzer you're on crack, buddy
<spazzer> you mean they DON'T?
<spazzer> they come out with arms and legs?
<spazzer> shit
<spazzer> i have a whole new respect for women
#8555
<Gabealicious> Will you please yank all these goddamned hairs from my nose???
<JungleMason> You need to go to Sharper Image or something and get a fancy nose-hair cutting gizmo.
<Gabealicious> I think so.
<JungleMason> Make sure you read the warning label though: "Not safe for most rectums."
<Gabealicious> It's a bit late for that.
#8526
<helminthes> haikus are real gay
<helminthes> cause they put limitations
<helminthes> on syllables used
#36885
<SteveB> did you ever hear of this thing...called "school"
<SteveB> you know, how it takes up your time and stuff..
<linolium> yeah... that's one thing
<linolium> :S
<linolium> but... at least i dont have a social life to stand in my way!
#4850
<TittiesMcEarmuffs> ( . )^_^( . )
#61111
<farce> i was at a strip club and this hot little mexican girl showed me she was lactating
<feti> and you're like, put that shit back.
<farce> hell no.
<CJB2K686> you sucked ?
<farce> hell yeah.
Comment: efnet/#php
#1868
<mD5> please no-one send me that stuff about sex in my aol mailbox
<flukz> i had to turn off my computer cuz all the porn kept popping up
<Mattress> mD5, what's your e-mail? I'll remove you from the list
<mD5> mD5@aol.com
<mD5> thank you for removing me from the list
#5856
<charon> <danybear:#bearcave> danybear is a six one, 210 lb, hairy leatherbear in Toronto, 50 years old, 6 uncut
<charon> whatever you do, don't join #bearcave asking for warez
<FishBulb_> charon: uncut means 0-day you tard
#415
<gloone> thinking that noone is here since it's saturday
<gloone> so that i can kill him with a screwdriver.
<gloone> or a stapler
<gloone> that's what i have here.
#30065
<@MrSaturn> Friend of mine goes to Fry's
<@MrSaturn> He obsesses over it
<@MrSaturn> He's like
<@MrSaturn> "OMG I FRIED MY MOTHERBOARD! HOORAY!"
#41054
[ engineer56] im learn python
[@selcouth] i'd suggest english
#309287
<Loxus> I fell for my own prank..
<Loxus> I had made a hidden folder on one of my hard drives named 'XXX'
<Loxus> when I opened it, there were only a text file named 'HAHA! Nothing here'
<Loxus> and I forgot that I did that. :P
#11956
<susan> haloooooo
<Phuser> susan
<Phuser> now theres a soon to be guest nick if i ever saw one
*** susan is now known as Guest70397
#36319
<MootSux> I found a way to irc from work
<MootSux> Mootar 1, productivity 0.
#1909
<tralamat> microsoft donates 5 million dollars worth of software to the rescue effort in new york
<devilish1> 5 mil of software
<tralamat> shit i see cops diggin rubble with an outlook cd
#31500
<Goonie> earthquakes are a good thing tho
<Goonie> it selectively removes old buildings and historical buildings so that new ones that are better can be built
<Goonie> natural selection for buildings
<Goonie> and then other buildings get demoted to historical and the cycle repeats
#296747
<rewt3d> somewhere there's a company out there that has actually worked out how to enlarge penises, but they're powerless to reach their potential customers
#4333
*jwzrd-* kicks Butters in the nuts
*Butters* watches as jwzrd- breaks his foot on his morning wood
#112564
<@MrZodiac> You know, Ktea
<@MrZodiac> we're one big family
<@MrZodiac> We know each other on IRC
<@MrZodiac> we've seen each other's OkCupid accounts
<@MrZodiac> The next stop is a mortgage and rug rats
<@ktea> that may be the next stop for you... but I'm gettin off here
<@ktea> I don't need any IR babies
<@MrZodiac> I have a firewall, we can chat all we want without us worrying about you getting cyber pregnant
<@LabMonkey> internet relay babies... is that where I give my sperm to one node which passes it along to another node and so on until said sperm winds up at your end for insertion into your uterus?
<@MrZodiac> Pretty much
<@LabMonkey> need to acl that shit
<@LabMonkey> you match outbound sperm packets and DROP them right there?
<@MrZodiac> Egress filterting
<@MrZodiac> The condom of the internet
Comment: #bifemunix on Efnet
#311648
<ericwood> there's a special place in my heart for americanized chinese food
<Cipher-0> Those are angina pains, ericwood.