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#27383
<Wumpus> there's a bible-kjv package in debian ...
<KJ> is it a corrupt archive?
#10372
<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns
#27364
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> in my room
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> on my bed
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> they did loom
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> give me head
<sheeps> ok, the last bit was a lie
<sheeps> and I have no fucking clue what loom means but yeah
#32046
<ReDy[CPH]> i remember once upon a time when i had dailup, i still remember the nightmares that modem brought, the times i just sat and stared at the screen downloading a 10 mb demo and the download time said 250hr 56m 16s download time increasing instead of decreasing, the frustration of never being able to open a homepage whitout waiting an hour, these things, 56kbit, it was this that made me who i am today a crazy leecher!
<Razor2k3> i refuse to read all that
<Cloud02> i remember once upon a time when i had dailup
<Cloud02> i still remember the nightmares that modem brought
<Razor2k3> nice
<Cloud02> the times i just sat and stared at the screen downloading a 10 mb demo and the download time said 250hr 56m 16s download time increasing instead of decreasing
<Razor2k3> go on
<Cloud02> the frustration of never being able to open a homepage whitout waiting an hour
<Cloud02> these things, 56kbit
<Cloud02> it was this that made me who i am today a crazy leecher!
<Razor2k3> ty
#24
<ckx> women ask for it
<ckx> they act all old and mature
<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx> and they get all bitchy
<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"
#2415
<Dude> did ya hear poland bought 5000 septic tanks?
<DatDawg> why?
<Dude> as soon as the figure out how to drive them there invading russia
#214675
<Excremento> how goes the login screens going man?
<n00bMeiSter> oh, you didn't hear, did you?
<n00bMeiSter> my laptop died on tuesday night while i was out
<n00bMeiSter> it was a peaceful death, it went silently in its' powersave mode
#9112
<ManC0W> Mikado : Mitsukake is an ass pirate
<Mikado`> ManC0W: I believe so, yes.
<Mikado`> ManC0W: can he see this?
<Mikado`> ManC0W: if we prefix our sentences with our intended targets, the others can't see it, right?
<ManC0W> Mikado : I think so Brain...
<Mikado`> ManC0W: Cuz I'd really hate for Mitsukake to know how gay I think he is
<Mitsukake> Why is this room so dead all of a sudden?
<Mikado`> LOL
<Mitsukake> What?
<Mitsukake> What's so funny?
#7344
<[werk]chin> i think its wrong for elderly people to be openly sexual at all
<[werk]chin> they need to be these asexual funnels of christmas money and bad driving
#295050
<AT_5193> i've got a kitty footwarmer
<@Illwen> Let's not talk about cats please.
<AT_5193> i've got a common-house-pet-that-is-not-a-dog footwarmer
#2360
(Matt^^^) I got an A+ in home ec, cuz I helped marinate the teacher's fish, if you know what I mean
#25446
<phx> crap
* phx just upgraded winrar
<phx> rather, i upgraded to a russian version of winrar
* phx does not speak russian
#7535
<orb06> something red and semi-opaque
<orb06> said it was "stool softener"
<orb06> Im like wtf
<orb06> I like my stool hard, ma'am
<orb06> and left without it
<orb06> no pain no gain
<orb06> thats what I say
#280685
<purriah> She knows you're wanking.
<Foxhill[away]> of course she does, she still washes the sheets
<Foxhill[away]> i remember her saying that to me one day when picking me up from school
<Foxhill[away]> 'you're a dirty lil boy'
<Foxhill[away]> 'huh? what?'
<Foxhill[away]> 'i wash your sheets remember'
<Foxhill[away]> 'err'
<Foxhill[away]> 'no more watching the german channel'
#51198
<Enjoi> I'm not going to stop a drug habit just because my life is getting in the way.
#6871
Abyss: i deeply resent the use of the term 'purity' in any context with 'The Brothers Drunk.' :)
Phil: Oh I dunno. The purity of the alcohol is an important concept...
Dex: Yup, anything filtered through that many kidneys is going to have to be pure.
#2570
<D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"
#49737
<Yrederemnul> heh, I just noticed
<Yrederemnul> M T W T F S S
<Yrederemnul> there's a 'what the fuck' in the middle of the week
#8886
<Ven> Fuck
<Ven> This is a long shot, but
<Ven> has anyone seen the pinout for the 4-player connector for the CPS2 arcade system?
<Ven> Oh fuck!
<Ven> I bet it's in my D&D Mystara manual
#51623
Skylos : dang its irritating when I get phone calls and they just hang up
Triggur: call them back with caller ID and then hang up!
Triggur: ever get a Heavy-Breathing call?
Triggur: I did once and I told him, "oh god, that is SO hot. can I jack off too?"
Triggur: turns out it was my mom winded from walking upstairs.
#29906
<ZyKl0n> my uncle died on saturday
<ZyKl0n> :(
<ZyKl0n> I don't understand it... he was 43
<ZyKl0n> I hope I don't die when I'm 43
<j0sh> sux to be himi
<j0sh> did he die on the toilet
<j0sh> ?
<ZyKl0n> no... dropped dead walking up a driveway to an auction
<ZyKl0n> just keeled over
<j0sh> ROFL
<j0sh> did u take pics
<j0tun> OMG
<j0tun> what kinda question is that?
#6824
<@Logan> I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
<@Logan> I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"
#1932
* Fry plays with his dead baby hand puppets.
<Fry> "I'm Dead."..."Me Too"
#298766
< amee2k> fow: provided i had enough to drink, i'll satisfy your every desire :)
< fow> :o
< fow> amee2k, including the one where Left4Dead works on my laptop through Wine?
#33839
<motolov> i actually have shat in a urinal once
<motolov> when i was 10 we went to germany and the toilets you had to pay for at a rest stop, but the urinals were free of charge, i could not wait to go back to the car for deutchmarks