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#20010
<RangerRick> wireless means never having to say, "AFK, bathroom"
#38306
< zYpurv> omg
< zYpurv> now i know what i am going to do with this property i'm gonna inherit
< zYpurv> a female-only apartment house for students
< zYpurv> of course
< Marax> with hidden cams
< zYpurv> and a 'private' pool on the roof
< Marax> and machineguns
< zYpurv> and a robot
< Marax> in case their really big boyfriends finds the cams
< zYpurv> nah i'll make the robot a sex toy and then they won't want boyfreinds anymore
Comment: Ahh, geek dreams....
#12151
* @Pretsel wants a little robot which will clean floors and vacumn rooms :/
<Mad-Cow> You can get them
<@Pretsel> Yeah but I'd imagine they'd be expensive :D
<Mad-Cow> It'll cost you a few million but you can get em
<@Pretsel> Woah Woah... I don't want a wife...
#295544
<Raisin> One of my friends was supposed to be getting back in shape starting today- no drinking, no smoking, and lots of exercise
<Raisin> He came over at 5 pm, already drunk, to tell me our gym date was off, then bummed a cig
Comment: #offtopic
#8357
<Allen_Schezar> Poptarts is kinda like Popstars but with much more punch, flavor and, oh yeah, sex appeal and intelligence :D
#307868
<Greed> You guys wanna hear something fucked?
<olleman> we're on the internet, after all
koala_bot waits for it
<Greed> The previous owner of my cell phone number died in a car crash involving a drunk driver.
<Greed> His mom, who has dementia, calls me 10-14 times per week and leaves messages asking when 'Thomas' is going to come home and stop dallying around with his friends
<Greed> Or when he's going to come vistit her
<Greed> Or asking Thomas what's for dinner
<Greed> Or pleading with him to call her more
<olleman> dude.
<Greed> And if I pick up the number and explain to her that I'm not Thomas
<Suppa_Spic> :3
<Greed> She'll argue and cry and plead with me to stop messing with her
<Greed> And this happens on almost a daily basis
<Greed> Sometimes she'll call me at 2AM and ask me where I am
<Greed> Why I'm not at home eating cornbread
<olleman> that is heart breaking
<Suppa_Spic> Greed: tell her her son is dead
<Greed> And when I pick up the phone now and again and tell her that she has the wrong number, that Thomas isn't even part of this world anymore
<Greed> She gets angry and even more sad and yells at me to stop playing sick games with her
<Greed> And because of the Dementia, she doesn't remember each encounter the next day
<Greed> Every day is just a replay of the day before he died for her
<WordpressNoob> wait
<WordpressNoob> your number is tied to your phone not a SIM?
<WordpressNoob> get off CDMA man
<Greed> Google Voice.
<Greed> Actually no, the number she calls is the phone's
<chiper> I'd have gotten a new number a long time ago
<Greed> Nobody else knows that number but she and I
<Greed> I mean
<Greed> I can't do that
<Greed> I don't know what it would do to her if every time she called him (Once or twice a day), she got a dead line
#29220
<BD|Aweh> just like i pay £1m for every condom i use due to the size of it <The_Package> micro technology is mega expensive innit BD|Aweh :P
#34138
<youlepton> if they were asians, it would be r337
#32137
<NeonEvangeliomon> heh, a friend of mine had his 80 giga (full, btw) fucked because the housecleaner woman decided to vaccuum the space next to his (opened) pc
<Typhlosion_v2> God, that must've really sucked.
<Typhlosion_v2> ...
<Typhlosion_v2> No pun intended.
Comment: #wolfpackproductions on MIRC-X
#67259
<Evenflow> gotta go clean up now, got a redhead coming tonight who likes to be told what to do ;)
<Ueda> tell her to clean up
#797
<DarkSun> I ask for a n64 emu and a big nerd syz me go to http://www.emu's.shoved.up.my.arse.com
<DarkSun> Anyone have a good webpage with EMU????
#23510
<woodss> omg
<woodss> one of our sales team sent a request for proposal to a school yesterday... he got a reply today, with all of the spelling and grammar corrections made for him.. LMAO
<Carlo> Hahaha
<woodss> there was a big red ring around one paragraph...!!
<Carlo> That's great
<woodss> I guess we didn't get the work... lol
<Carlo> Heh, one would think not
<lech> suprised you even got a response at all...
#49051
<Shinohara> damned wireless connection
<Shinohara> fucking thing has more trouble staying up than Bob Dole
<Shinohara> I need wi-fiagra or something....
#302725
<Crenomaster> I'm bored.
<Crenomaster> I think I'll count how many corners does a circle have.
<psy_wombats> Depends on your monitor resolution
#309185
<lucky> i got into it with an asphalt contractor at work and then had his truck towed for being in a handicapped space.
<SatNiGHTS> did you shout at him "MENTAL HANDICAPS DON'T COUNT!"?
<lucky> the best part? the lines are barely visible because HE didn't paint them as he was hired to do last summer. so he didn't see them.
<lucky> he came storming in, scared my paraschiz resident (poor guy), and demanded he be "payed what he was owed for his time in August". i told him that according to our records, he was paid exactly what he was owed - in that, he was paid for what he did, not what the original contract said. He never re-striped the lot or sealed the south end of the cul de sac.
<lucky> he wouldn't shut up. i asked him to leave. he didn't. i told him to leave. he didn't. i made his truck leave without him while he was making an irate phone call.
<myself> did he see it in mid-tow, or only after it was gone?
<lucky> mid tow. told him they regularly monitor the handicapped spaces, it is after all a senior community. his reply : "YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE FUCKING SYMBOL!!!!" my reply: "my point exactly."
#45022
<Faggertot> I was being a man-ho at the library ;o!
<Fagatron> Those poor books. ;[
<Fagatron> What'd you do?
<Fagatron> Find a sex ed book and stroke the word
<Fagatron> "Vagina"?
#37601
<Deedux> speaking of food, I don't get it
<Deedux> when I was eating like a fat ass, my dumps were all normal and, for the most part, pleasant
<KArmA-> that's not what your tummy says
<Deedux> but now that I've been exercising and eating salads and what not, my ass is like celine dion
<Deedux> indiscriminantly spewing excrement
Comment: #couch on EFnet
#14638
<Noctornus-> you know what they say about a guy with small hands......
<+Anton> "He doesn't have big hands"?
#220433
<parp> lmao
<parp> Journey is playing in my area
<parp> I had no idea they were still together.
<Rjx> you stopped believing
Comment: #geekissues
#2024
<Lee-Ham> Bush is a raging imbecile. It's times like this I wish I could live on the moon and take potshots at Earth with a potato gun.
#61191
<AwwJeah> I want to fill a super soaker with cheap vodka and spray down other drivers.
<AwwJeah> Then call the police and tell them I think they're driving drunk.
<AwwJeah> Because, seriously, who would believe that story?
#302106
<Deadhope> I got fired from Wal-Mart today...
<RainbowHugz> nice. why'd you get fired ?
<Deadhope> I made a kid crap himself , he was stealing and i decided to stare at him like an angry pedophile while yelling , WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?!?!?
<Deadhope> The kid ran away crying leaving a trail of shit. Atleast i didn't have to clean that.
<2Tone> haahahahahahahahaha
<RainbowHugz> Best...reason to be fired ever.., i'm in tears right now.
#50229
(NES) I'm thinkg we should buy the condoms in bulk from costco
(Emmers) I won't need any *grins*
(NES) you're good at pulling out?
(Emmers) I'm a girl.
(NES) wtf
#25118
<Arcane[maid]> i stole one of those blue signs that says "phone" on it
<Arcane[maid]> what should i do with it
<suds> stick it down your pants and ask hot chics if they want to call collect.
#8771
<bishun> dont get fresh with me
<hydro-> but i'm using the all new summers eve douche
<hydro-> it says i can be fresh whenever i want