Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#1353
<Gayo> I went with purple even though two characters wear purple and the first city is made entirely of purple buildings.
<Gayo> Which means that so far the only green is in the little "occupied" lights above the bedroom doors.
<Sharkey> ... that sounds really familiar for some reason. Probably reminding me of some retarded childrens program.
<Sharkey> Something where all the people are purple and live in purple houses and have purple lawns, until mysterious green men come from the moon and everybody learns the wonders of ethnic diversity.
<Sharkey> Well slap ma fro! Where da purple woman at? Where da purple woman at? "Kill the greenie!"
#77682
<mr_flea> i read the headline of that article as "scientists develop neural breast implants"
<mr_flea> then i started wondering if they could be enlarged at the user's will
<mr_flea> which led me to thinking about those cars with hydraulic suspension
<mr_flea> "pimp my rack"
#55369
<@shea> WTF
<@shea> i'm subbing for my 'boss' today because he's out
<@shea> and i was doing something for someone else on his computer
<@shea> and i noticed on his desktop there's a quake3 icon
< Tominator> found porn?
<@shea> but it's not called quake3
<@shea> it's called
<@shea> 'Kicking Shea's Ass'
<@shea> :[
#24993
<secracy> what would be the correct way to be able to have !! in my php script ?
<sZombie> secracy: what?
<secracy> my two exclimation marks arent showing up on my form
<sZombie> secracy: you need to do a double-back-flip-exclamation-mark-escape
#296772
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so i got a good story for all of you
<Kayeffem|wrkin> yesterday the supreme bitch brought in her home laptop because i needed to set it up for remote access
<Kayeffem|wrkin> while it was here she decided to bitch about how the screen isnt used up all the way and there are spaces on the sides
<Kayeffem|wrkin> now this is a 17" widescreen laptop
<Kayeffem|wrkin> and it's being used at the max widescreen resolution
<Kayeffem|wrkin> as i play around with it i notice that there's nothing wrong and the screen is just fine
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so she tells me to goto the internet and goto a webpage
<Kayeffem|wrkin> where i find out her real problem
<Kayeffem|wrkin> the websites that she likes to visit dont expand to fit multiple resolutions
<Kayeffem|wrkin> thus causing empty space to the left and right of the main webpage
<Kayeffem|wrkin> now apparently this is a big enough problem for her that she's going to purchase a second laptop that's smaller
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so that the websites will take up the full screen with no gaps
<JackWat|Lap> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
<JackWat|Lap> Kayeffem|wrkin: thats fuckin crazy
<Adam^2> crazy bitch is crazy
<Kayeffem|wrkin> yea, i almost asked her if she was fucking with me
#6115
<cheech> Ugh! Parents, who needs them?
<guailo> retards.
#9103
<vmob_babe> french is a beautiful language.
<agent_rot> i dont like it
<vmob_babe> why is that?
<agent_rot> cuz i dont like words like 'bourdoeux' or whatever are "bordo"
<vmob_babe> hmm.
<agent_rot> theyre just trying to cheat at scrabble i tell you!
#33392
< neotiger> it leads me to believe that IE is more fucked than the average japanese schoolgirl when in close proximity to an octopus
#9185
<helminthes> i had a vision today of an infomercial where someone goes, "only 29.99??!" and shoots himself
#52504
<^Spike^> I had my first character censored on City of Villains
<@Stumpy> whyfor?
<^Spike^> They did not appreciate 'Captain Coathanger the Abortionist'
<^Spike^> (He had pirate hooks for hands!)
Comment: He's going to hell one day...
#38557
<fractorial> !whatis rectum
<fok> Searching dictionary.com for rectum...
<fok> n. pl. rec tums or rec ta (-t ) The terminal portion of the large intestine, extending from the sigmoid colon to Amazon.com - Shop for books, music and more Merriam-Webster - Search for definitions
#34873
<everest> the iraqis captured 4 italians, 2 americans, and a korean
<everest> they're setting up for an offensive joke.
<everest> tomorrow they'll force the hostages to walk into a bar
Comment: #geekissues
#60954
<The Ranger> it takes me a whole fucking hour these days to get out of bed since i'm off school for a bit...
<The Ranger> everytime i wake up early i subconsciously think "Great! that means i can get more done today..."
<The Ranger> but also i give myself a little more time in bed, and then when i get out half the day is gone =(
<The Ranger> i'm such a lazy ass
<The Ranger> how about you?
<HeYpReStO101> i have sunken back into getting up no earlier than 1 everyday
<HeYpReStO101> and i find that i seem to masturbating a lot more
<HeYpReStO101> double win
#43467
<popeye> rolloffle do you eat meat
<rolloffle> of course I do
<popeye> if you do then you murder
<rolloffle> you think I'm some kind of fag or something?
<popeye> well you are from europe
<popeye> so how does it feel to be a murderer
<rolloffle> pretty tasty.
Comment: #gnaa irc.gnaa.us
#15445
<BillDcat^> bah, i find most 'religion' to be big business, if i wanna support that, i go to Mcdonalds, where i can at least eat
<[y]> early morning theology
<[y]> film at 11
<BillDcat^> lol
<BillDcat^> ya
<generator> so you worship ronald mcdonald and all his value meals?
<[y]> i know i do
<BillDcat^> pretty much, that way i can have my scripture & eat it 2
<BillDcat^> it's easy to believe in , if you can afford it
#3599
<xeiro> O_6: what does updating your kernel actaully do
<O_6> xeiro, gets me the chicks
#15840
<Lyon> erll, i'm ogg yo trsf snf dlrrp
<Lyon> oops
<Lyon> well, i'm off to read and sleep
<Derian> looks like you need all the dlrrp you can get.
#14453
<griffin> im disappointed in my mom
<pagan> me too
<pagan> she did a bad job
#2436
<erhan> how are you yourself?
<mcarp> erhan: other than being pussyless, dumb, tired, broke and addicted to nicotine....im FINE
#1546
(timmo) the average testicle is the size of a walnut.
[maff] the average walnut tastes better than the average testicle
#21
<Tempy^^> I'll settle for old and fat
<Tempy^^> begger can't be choosers
<Tempy^^> prolly find used condoms inside of her
#294563
<sereni> Protip: If you're in elementary school, and you're reading Euclid's Elements of Geometry, do NOT leave your geometric proofs in plain sight of ANYONE.
<sereni> *teachers marauds over to my seat, notices me writing furiously things that are not the required coursework, looks at pile of papers sitting besides me*
<sereni> "...What does 'A cuts B' mean? What is this about lines and meeting places? What are these diagrams for...?"
<sereni> You see, geometry is a pure science, and it also uses a lot of unambiguous terms. As such, a proof could be applicable in any context.
<sereni> I happened to be sent to the principals office as it seemed my innocent proof could be misread to mean that I was not only going to meet up with another kid, but stab him with a knife, doing so in a very precise way, at angles of approach ranging from 20 to 180 degrees, while moving about in various circular paths.
#14215
<gaz> i don't think terrorists would be stupid enough to do anything on independence day anyway
<gaz> not after the aliens did it
#29637
<Auri> Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles, those are the best brands.
<iganokage> we only have durex from those 3
<[TFCC]Captain_W0nder> I'll send you an unopened package of Lifestyles iga.
<iganokage> lol
<iganokage> no seriously, im fine :)
<iganokage> "hey sunny, capt sent me condoms from texas, wanna try em out?"
<iganokage> "O_O"
<[TFCC]Captain_W0nder> that'll work
<[TFCC]Captain_W0nder> just think of me when you're doing it\
* [TFCC]Captain_W0nder runs
#307245
<Lastair> japanese cosmo
<Lastair> 10 hot sex tips!
<Lastair> tips 1-10: whimper like you're being raped