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#28954
knockout: yo brian, i just bought a shit load of weed!
flyinbri: this is brians mother
knockout: oh...fuck, bye
#1204
<Karmer> I am as eternal as the boundless limits of outer space, and my owner loathes and despises me
<mike> leprosy
<Karmer> no
<Karmer> it is
<Karmer> slidey's virginity
#156109
<Tagert> Well, they're not terribly smart.
<Tagert> So the aircon in the server room is overtaxed and not powerful enough to handle the heat generated by the servers.
<Tagert> So what are they doing?
<Tagert> They're putting in another server to monitor the airconditioner.
#7958
<sine> "You couldn't get a stroke of genius if you were giving a handjob to Einstein."
#56465
-!- EvilTaxi [blah@eviltaxi.rh.rit.edu] has joined #Ikaruga
-!- EvilTaxi [blah@eviltaxi.rh.rit.edu] has left #Ikaruga []
< snacky> and don't come back
< NuclearDog> Yeah. Asshole.
< snacky> seriously
< snacky> that guy makes me sick
-!- EvilTaxi [blah@eviltaxi.rh.rit.edu] has joined #Ikaruga
< snacky> hello friend
< EvilTaxi> hello
< snacky> let's trade dessert recipes please
#54388
[Oni] FUCK!
[Oni] I'm just about out of black ink
[Krypton] printer?
[Oni] No, the type I disperse to run from predators.
#288
<enex> MadHatter: eat shit!
<MadHatter> what
<MadHatter> fuck you
<enex> oh
<enex> hi
<MadHatter> yeah hey
<enex> what's up
<MadHatter> nothing man
#32317
<irokin> PyrotiX: oh we share so much in common...if only you were a chick
<+PyrotiX> give it time
<+PyrotiX> :D
#16740
* DiscoFever ignores all you dicks
<Joelz> Good.
<Joelz> You shouldn't be looking at our penises anyway.
#309577
<Caboose> Mango, you're a programmer, right?
<Mango> Depends. If you're asking because you're curious, yes, I've been a programmer for most of my career.
<Mango> If you're asking because you installed 5000 toolbars and now your computer "runs kinda slow", I work at Starbucks.
#309421
<luz> i'm dizzy and it hurts to breathe
<LAMMJohnson> luz: Lay down and stop breathing
#29694
<Bifrost> BROWN NOTE > *
<triple6> POO JAM!
<DJ-Pyro> I always pick the best times to maximize this window
#28935
<ikaro> asdasd
<held> bubu
<[Piratez]> mating calls?
#31823
<ihatestan> god I hate my little brother
<ihatestan> its my mothers birthday and I got her a Amethyst necklace
<ihatestan> than out of no where my brother goes "mom has +3 strengh"
#10474
<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gay
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns
#44909
<shinster> i've sunk to a new low and am in the office on a weekend
<shinster> left my access card at my desk when i went to the bathroom before too...had to wait half an hour to find someone to let me back in
<shinster> it was like playing a badly designed fps where i couldn't open a door and nothing in my inventory would help
<shinster> kept walking back and forth trying all the door handles anyway
#7171
::Sathane.. I am wlasys sober
::Sathane.. excpet when I dirnk
#305330
<Hadley> PONY WANNA SEE MY DICK
<Pony> no, hadley. I am strictly in the vagina business
<Hadley> Pony: you should consider expanding your market! i have some brochures about the penis market, if you'd like
<Pony> why have more penis if you already have one yourself
<Pony> it's like buying a second iphone. it's pointless and not usefull
<Hadley> Pony: like the iphone, a penis lacks multitasking, which is where investing in multiples comes in handy
<Pony> then it's still overkill, hadley. the second one should be an ipad or ipod in that case
<Hadley> Pony: so... if i get the analogy correctly... you're only interested in a penis if it's twice as big as your current one?
<Pony> yes
<Hadley> THEN HAVE I GOT GREAT NEWS FOR YOU
#12144
<Zip-> hi RedMage
<Zip-> i want your mother's sister's daughter's cousin's best friend's body
<RedMage> ...
<RedMage> that's like
<RedMage> my best friend
<RedMage> you sick fuck
<RedMage> i'm my own best friend
<RedMage> omg
<RedMage> you WANT ME
#33095
<Kaisum> bitch your floppy drive just ain't reading my disk like it used to
#25428
<BitchX> [She] can't find the serial #
I told her it was on the disk...so she ejected the disk and told me it wasn't on it, then showed me the top of the disk
#13469
<Khalal> I never did understand that quote NG
<NintendoGuru> Khalal: That's because you haven't seen a picture of Andrew Vestal
<Khalal> What does he look like?
<NintendoGuru> Think Richard Simmons french kissing and electrical outlet
#301921
<dhar> you know how I started work at that Italian restaurant last week?
<Curris> yeah
<dhar> it's called Ristorante Tiberian and I never the Command & Conquer reference until I had this customer in
<dhar> he came in wearing a t-shirt with a red logo on it
<dhar> and when I served him he said "praise kane"
<dhar> I was so confused, I thought he was like some religious nut
<dhar> when I delivered his food I noticed the logo on his shirt was the NOD logo
<Curris> hahaha
<dhar> I almost dropped his plate cos I was laughing so much
#24627
<brad> i was hoping for a friendly windows way, but i guess i'll look at that
<brad> ...sadly
<brad> ...with puppy dog eyes
<obscurity> Do you plan to give them back to the puppy afterwards?
<brad> hell no
<blue> i spy, with my little eye.. eye pie!
<brad> he can come and take 'em from me
<brad> if he's puppy enough
#36180
<sahal> 6 million ways to die
<sahal> choose one
<mETh> i will
<sahal> i choose MSpaint