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#22019
* Guest16686 (JAVGUEST@***.ipt.aol.com) has joined #tribesnz
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<nima> hi
<nima> I'm thinking about moving to nz, is it a smart move?
<DJ> depends, do you like hobbits?
<nima> whats hobbits?
<duckstab> men who like stealing parts of your vagina in the night.
<duckstab> first night, bam - no cervix for you
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#5643
<anju> hell,not only do i not have brains. . . i have EXTRA BOOBS INSIDE MY HEAD instead
#7469
<gage> i drank a beer in the shower today
<christ> dude, you drank a beer in the shower?
<gage> i sho did
<gage> cold beer + hot shower = good
<christ> dude, this is what state OPs is in, we don't have time to drink a
beer like normal people anymore
#1443
<Graeme> yeah, don't be nasty. my grandad died in a concentration camp......!
<Graeme> he fell out a guard tower. broke his neck
#59329
<psychup2034> i was watching judge judy two weeks ago
<psychup2034> fucking dad and daughter when to court
<psychup2034> because of a broken headlight on a car
<psychup2034> the dad blamed the daughter
<psychup2034> but the daughter said she thinks someone came with something and knocked the headlights in
<psychup2034> judge judy was like do you have any proof
<psychup2034> and the daughter said "we live in a black neighborhood"
<psychup2034> never laughed so hard at court tv
#9185
<helminthes> i had a vision today of an infomercial where someone goes, "only 29.99??!" and shoots himself
#44809
<laid_back> haha man get this so my brother got suspended from school today
<teqman> what did he do
<duffman> what did he do
<laid_back> cause he says to one kid "hey would you have sex with a fat kid" and this other kid goes "no why" and then my brother goes "cause nash (another kid) is really desperate"
<laid_back> so nash say "tell it to the teacher"
<laid_back> and my brother goes "hey mister smith would you have sex with a fat kid" and the teacher got this weird look on his face and ran down to the office and told the principal
<laid_back> and so the principal is talking to my brother and he says "you were insinuating that mr smith was a child molester" and my broither goes "NO, what insinuated that he was a child molester was the way he reacted"
<laid_back> so they suspended him
Comment: #system on irc.dal.net
#34984
* patb is now known as ChamServ
* ChamServ has joined #gamesurge
<ChamServ> Hello, I am ChamServ, a new GameSurge Service. Please send me your auth handle and password to prevent you account from being trimmed from the database. Thank-you.
* ChamServ Quit (G-lined (you are being reported to your isp.))
]
Comment: 31337 |-|4><
#52148
<farlax> gardening was a pain yesterday...
<foam> Hmm, tell me about it
<farlax> I did the front of the house (shrubs), and the back (flowerbed)
*** Join: christ0pher (christ@otaku.freeshell.org)
<farlax> I started out by trimming my thick bush
<farlax> my BF asked me to do it... it was blocking his view
<christ0pher> you going into the porn business, farlax?
Comment: Context, context, context...
#67775
<turtlexiv> do you know of a built-in function to strip out possible extra info from the filename? i need to escape all back slash and forward slashes
<espantoso> back slash, forward slash, escape... sounds like OJ Simpson
#51196
<farlax> damn... my GF had another prolapse... last night she was going pretty hard, and it just happened...
<yot> ...
<toowan> an anal prolapse? like mr. goatse?
<farlax> DAMMIT!!! RELAPSE!!! SHE HAD A RELAPSE OF HER ASTHMA SYMPTOMS WHILE RUNNING HOME!
#58677
<Crist> guyds i need u to help me
<Crist> my roomate glured my hannds to my mouse and desk'
<Crist> fuckrs ive been stuk herre for a hour
<Hoopaw> how the fuck are you typing?
<Crist> my nosea wttf explai ns my baad typuing
<Hoopaw> noted
#12430
<Lithium^> I always attract either scary men/ugly men/psychopaths
<Smess> what's your profile URL?
<Lithium^> Smess: gaydar/uk18
<Smess> "I like making new friends all the time, especially if you`re a big bear" - yep.. think I've found your problem.
#21841
<Darien> I'm trying to decide how to ask Kristen out
<Darien> should I go the 'I was thining of catching a movie, wondered if...' route
<Darien> or the 'We need to go to a movie, like tonight.' route
<Darien> or what?
<dsalkjdsa> first of all, you need to start it off with 'bitch'
<dsalkjdsa> THEN you say ssomething strong and pushy, bitches like that
<Darien> yeah
<Darien> that's true'
<dsalkjdsa> bitch, get in my car, we're going to a dinner and movie; by dinner i mean we're going to have sex, and by movie i mean we're going to tape it.
<dsalkjdsa> oohh yeahhh.
<dsalkjdsa> something like that :)
#16363
<Paulo> What KOF babe has the sexiest navel?
<Angelblade> Is the navel where your thing-thing is supposed to go?
<K9999> YOUR THING-THING CAN'T GO INTO A NAVEL! Although it might be an intriguing experience...
<MilleniumWEAPON> Your... thing-thing??? Though it does not go into the navel too well, I could recommend some "educational" sites as to where you put your thing-thing, but I'd get banned...
#10695
<@Nfs> what good is all the fame if you aint fuckin the models?
<@BLiNGO> umm
<@BLiNGO> you dont need fame to fuck models
<@Nfs> but its gettin hot in herre, so take off all your clothes..
<@BLiNGO> i am gettin so hot, i will take my clothes off
* @BLiNGO sets mode: -clothes BLiNGO
#289288
[middle of december]
<Wuffles> I just got my subscription confirmation for my MySQL course of November, 24
<Wuffles> How about that for timely delivery
<wouter> Wuffles: lol.
<wouter> thats quite early if its for next year. :)
<Wuffles> it isn't, alas :-)
<Wuffles> wouter: it gets better: the young lady answered that it was because they had trouble with their database :-D
#38044
(StickMutilator) I was stuck in Mario for a long time.........I didn't realise you could jump
#4460
<jre> One time I went into a stupid donut shop to take a pee-pee. They had a sign that said: PLEASE "FLUSH TOILET" BEFORE LEAVING. Flush toilet was in parentheses. So I assumed it was code for something
<jre> So I "pissed in the sink"
#310205
<kmc> the other day I bought a recycling can from amazon
<kmc> it came in a cardboard box
<kmc> i took the can out of the box, broke down the box, and put it in the can
<kmc> it was amazing
#1782
<bludstone> so like, with anime now
<bludstone> some otaku dude in japan encodes it, uploads it.. it spreads
<bludstone> and its available before the airtime cuz of timezone changes ermshtn
<SiamShade> haw
<SiamShade> l33t
<bludstone> dammit, i need to get laid.
<SiamShade> where the fuck did that come from
<SiamShade> you're talking about anime and how it spreads then "i need to get laid."
<SiamShade> oh wait
<SiamShade> that makes perfect sense
#10478
<Acheron> hep: :P
<Acheron> And I say that from the bottom of my heart.
<hep> please to not be sticking it out unless you intend on using it.
<hep> today
<Acheron> Well, my tongue is a little longer than most, but S.F. is a
helluva reach, even for more gifted folks
<Mitzy> despicable.
<Acheron> Sorry. I don't get as much tongue-stretching exercise as I used
to.
<para> that's a .sigfile right there.,
<Acheron> keep your .sig out of my .file! perv!
#4382
<Euri> When I was 20 (still worked as a waiter), I went out to eat with a friend at a nice-ish restaurant. There was a guy with his girlfriend/mistress/cheap hooker in front of me yelling at the hostess because they took 10 minutes to bring his food to him. So, I went up and asked him how he was doing, and why he didn't call.. and asked if his rash was clearing up.
#4123
<HA[OffDay]Dima> one thing i learned though, never let my gf play GTA3, cause afterward she was tryin to play it IRL
<HA[OffDay]Dima> i thought i was gonna die on the way home
#308025
<RoKenn> he's sort of like the community pet, he keeps pooing on the couch, but we're too kindhearted to send him to the animal shelter