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#7355
<whyerhead> hrm. I couldn't get laid in a womens prison with a fist full of pardons
#1078
(idea) i just spent 10 mins troubleshooting my cdr because it said that my blank cd "was not ready
(idea) turns out i accidently put in one of those clear cd things at the bottom of the cake box
#24380
<DocUK> whats a dropship
<supernorn2000> a ship that drops things, preferably passengers
<supernorn2000> But in Halo it drops vehicles
<Skumby> usually it drops them gently too
<Skumby> Otherwise it'll be called a bomber
#7774
<chaowork> dont singe the wenis
<faustwork> yeah, nude bacon cooking is tricky
<chaowork> i hear thats gonna be in the next olympics
<faustwork> you should see how i flip it over
#85719
< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail
#93358
Invisceo: If i don't get at least a 175 on the LSAT, i'll have to fly to NY and jump off the Empire State Building
Styling Dan: dude, jump off the world trade towers
Styling Dan: they are much higher
Kazooie197: Not anymore :|
Styling Dan: what?
Styling Dan: yeah, Im pretty sure they are the tallest building in new york
Invisceo: dude, where have YOU been?
Styling Dan: what?
Kazooie197: I'm probably taller than the remaining rubble
Styling Dan: what do you mean
Styling Dan: rubble!??1?
Styling Dan: WHAT THE FUCK?!
#18754
<Tac0> FiZi
<Tac0> are u connected to the internet?
<FiZi2> What the fuck do you think
#26371
fallouswk > bwahahahaha. coworker comes in with a problem, gets halfway into the explanation and then pauses and says "umm, it smells like you've been farting in here" "yes, I have" "I'm going to leave now" "I think that would be best"
#50831
«@cv_otaku» Hey, does anyone know how long Chinese can go in the refrigerator before it goes bad?
«@Tdot[Comic]» ...people or food?
#25624
(timmo) her boobies are fake
(timmo) ;[
[nyisles] hmm
[nyisles] are they photoshopped
[nyisles] ?
[Guilty] No
[Guilty] They're implants
#4416
<ltbs> SomeGirl: you have Pantera. It's a weird strain of Anthrax. You should also watch out for Sepultura, Megadeth, and Black Sabbath
#30515
<@chort> but can you trust those crazy dutch?
<@chort> i mean, WOODEN SHOES!
<@phessler> well, they did bring us the word SABOTAGE
<@phessler> and if it's good enough for the Beastie Boys, its good enough for me
#29270
<Hayabusa> I usually do really bad on tests, but I took a hepetitis test the other day, and I think I did really good.
<Hayabusa> I got an A, two Bs, and a C
#4256
<OpsuPup> i was driving along one day, saw a bmw and thought, that's an ugly bmw, then i realised it was a merc, then i thought, hmm, nice looking merc
#954
(@Asimov) bah, i've got a life
(@Asimov) i just dont let it interfere with my irc :)
#11590
<ShockSMX> I have more important things to do right now than sitting in front of the computer... For example sitting behind the computer, where its safe and nobody will hurt me.
#14738
<tortoise> what should i name my turtles?
<archon> name one kurt, and one courtney, and blow one's head off with a shotgun
#31823
<ihatestan> god I hate my little brother
<ihatestan> its my mothers birthday and I got her a Amethyst necklace
<ihatestan> than out of no where my brother goes "mom has +3 strengh"
#5068
<reub> i hate people that can't complete a fucking
#28482
< toby_> whats wrong with itanium?
<@dive> toby: its the windows registry of processors
#31003
<ThunderClaw> I will warez as long as there is warez to be had.
<ThunderClaw> Wow.
<ThunderClaw> I just used warez as both an object and a verb in that sentance.
<ThunderClaw> I am the epitome of lame.
Comment: #voices, Darkmyst
#8300
<kat-moffobsessing> why do dongs always gain length when played live?
<kat-moffobsessing> SONGS!
#303089
<Iridium> it's funny
<Iridium> I saw that there's an article on the NYT about how we can't focus anymore with all this multitasking
<Iridium> so I opened it in a new tab and went to finish reading my other RSS items
<Iridium> and then checked email, and facebook
<Iridium> and am updating you all here
<Iridium> and ten minutes later just realized I haven't looked at the article yet. =/
#20832
<damn_fig> someone needs to form Bashaholics Anonymous
* DirtyPunk submits damn_fig's quote to bash.
#33868
<DamianMor> IceWizard go and suck my nick
* @IceWizard sucks your nick
<@IceWizard> your nick is so long!
<@IceWizard> as long as efnet allows!
<@IceWizard> but..
<@IceWizard> i'd prefer to goto dalnet
<@IceWizard> the guys there have MUCH longer nicks!
<DamianMor> :(
<@IceWizard> yours is a toothpick compared to theirs
Comment: #emu Efnet