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#176
(Theseus-) guilty says my computer realizes that it's running a celeron and tries to commit suicide
#66705
<Sean`Macmillan> In a consulting firm I worked for, they abbreviated "analysis" as "anal."
<Sean`Macmillan> So after a school survey was done, one of the items on the agenda was "School visits and follow-up anal."
#6775
<RadiX> I had a thought
<Isando> Wow it must have come as a surprise to you.
<RadiX> at first I thought it was a headache.. I wasn't sure what it was.
#17346
<harb> I'm good at designing things, usually.
<harb> Implemting is another matter. :|
<harb> Implementing. blah.
<homeslice> Spelling also poses a problem.
#176291
<Pyro> my desk is complete I think
<Chroder> i cant believe it took you 3 days to build an ikea desk
#12321
* Joins: pSYKOSONIK (Enigma@xxx.ipt.aol.com)
<Lan> I figured he'd have a little "p".
#310642
<muskets> to be tonic water all you NEED is water, bubbles and quinine
<muskets> and then usually you put lots of gin in it
<muskets> it's a british thing because it was medicine but we mixed it with booze to make it taste less awful
<muskets> and then we decided we LIKED it
<muskets> and now we drink it entirely because we want to
<kerin> this is also the story behind gin but in reverse
<kerin> alcohol was supposed to cure a lot of what ails ye
<kerin> but distilled grain alcohol kind of sucks to drink, so hey let's add some mother fucking juniper
<kerin> alright this is rad, i can't wait to get diagnosed with something so i can drink it all fucking day
<kerin> etc
<kerin> so really the gin and tonic brings the story full circle in a beautiful way
<muskets> yeah
<muskets> the main difference is that the original tonic water WORKED
<muskets> it was malaria prophylaxis
<kerin> well, gin worked if your problem was the horror of being trapped in pre-industrial europe
<kerin> it's about the only thing that did
<catplanet> ROFL
#28743
<WaSp> nice day outside
<WaSp> w00t
<WaSp> spring break soon
<WaSp> doubel w00t
<WaSp> no parents home over spring break
<WaSp> triple w00t
<@HamWork> no poontang over spring break
<@HamWork> lose 3 woots
#70718
<ZoFreX> I'm actually considering fucking some fat chick I know
<ZoFreX> just cos she's up for it
<TheRandom> ZoFreX if you do
<TheRandom> i wont talk to you again
<ZoFreX> awesome.
<Ecom> hell for that, even I would do her
<FireFalcon> I'd fuck a fat chick if TR would commit suicide.
<FireFalcon> Hell, I'd fuck Zo if TR kills himself.
<ZoFreX> special 2 for 1 deal, I'd kill myself too
#52131
<Freddie> I think you have sand in your vagina
<DJ_Yami> wtf is a vagina
Comment: #atthepark on etg
#51274
<patours> my ftp is yours :)
<Pnuts> oooooh
<Pnuts> I like when you talk dirty
<patours> lol
<JU5TICE> Nothing like hammering an ftp until the early morning. "Take my big files, you dirty virus ridden server"
<JU5TICE> Apparently
<Jose`> who's your admin
<Jose`> yeah
<Jose`> thats right
<Jose`> who's your admin!
#10745
<Atlas> Wouldn't it be easier to sneak a gun in, shoot Ben, and STEAL BEN STEIN'S MONEY!
#60728
(+Oleander) sometimes I go into gay bars just to turn men down
(+Oleander) to boost my self esteem
#36043
*** Anonymous is now known as Jayni
*** Jayni is now known as Jaymi
<Jaymi> i can't type right handed
<StoneCold> <shamlessbragging> i can type with both of my hands really fast </shamlessbragging>
<Jaymi> i can only type with my left hand
<Jaymi> i'm only half ambidextrous
#937
<QuoteSick> >:)
<QuoteSick> {:-)
<zantispam> :-{
<zantispam> ^^^ moustache
<zantispam> :-{>
<zantispam> ^^^ goatee
<acestus> {:-) ?
<acestus> Toupee?
<DigDug> >8)
<finkployd> :(-<(&) - not happy having a tapeworm
#5303
<@atarax> DrConway: Some kid told me a couple days ago "They just came out with internet 7.0"
#48005
<fittysix> elmo, if the internet were a city there'd be a resturaunt everyone reccomends, but when you walk in you see a gaping anus
Comment: #genmay on irc.0id.net
#32681
<VALIS> I _had_ no _idea_ I should elminate unused variables.
<VALIS> I'll get right on that.
<Kurt> keep them in, never know when you'll need them
<Kurt> you might be sitting there bashing away and you'll think "Gee, if only I had a variable called unsigned_dong about now"
<somniloquy> sign my dong!
#14843
<Azadre> Computers kick ass
<Western_Chee> my gaydar totally wasnt functioning today
<Azadre> My ass hurts
<Western_Chee> i was about to buy shit from express for men
*** Western_Chee was kicked by Puedlfor (Puedlfor)
*** Azadre was kicked by Puedlfor (Puedlfor)
<RunninRaven> Pued, you are a saint
<Puedlfor> I do what I can
#863
<rob`> where does an irish family go for vacation?
<rob`> to a different bar
#16372
<Cyberllam> I want to get a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I am doing an excellant job driving." Then I can cut people off and they won't know what to do.
#301628
<pnbeast> How do you feel about neural networks, HappyHobo?
<HappyHobo> Is that like Amway?
<pnbeast> It's almost exactly not like Amway, HappyHobo.
#8501
<cactoid> you love the Colonel
<cactoid> I like KFC chippies
<cactoid> and zinger burgers
<cactoid> the rest tastes ok while you're eating it but it's just fucking gross greasy fried vermin
<Bayls> Yeah, the chips are ace.
<Bayls> The actual chicken pieces are shit.
<Bayls> You may as well sculpt some lard into a shape the looks like a drumstick, then coat it with butter. Then roll it in lard, then melt fat onto it, then fry it in animal fat, dip it in lard then eat it.
<Bayls> I think 10 out of the 11 secrec "herbs and spices" are "lard".
<Bayls> Mmmm, making me hungry. Might go get a 21 piece bucket. :)
*** Signoff: Bayls
#301752
<Flickerdart> See, Russian doesn't have an X. It uses ks instead.
<Flickerdart> It saves room in the alphabet for more useful letters.
<Flickerdart> Like 3.
#15467
<rogue> I like how matt took the time to tell us he was vomiting
<rogue> it's that kind of detail that really makes this channel work, I think