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#120253
<sloth> i had to wear a USB cable for a belt today because my last pair of shorts broke
Comment: #down efnet
#303990
<TheTJ> Have you ever been in a creepy place, like a school at night or an abondoned house, when the lights go out?
<TheTJ> Sometimes you might think you're in a horror movie and about to die/be killed.
<TheTJ> That occasionally happens to me
<TheTJ> My response?
<TheTJ> I sing heavily copyrighted songs so that whatever movie I may or may not be in couldn't afford my death scene
#4077
<BombScare> i need to get my eyes lasered
<eldee> ditto.. 2k per eye though
<eldee> i'm saving my money for something i wont take for granted though :)
<enos> i don't trust that eye laser surgery yet
<enos> it'd be sweet tho to not need glasses or contacts
<BombScare> i have an aunt that had it done, she loves it
<BombScare> like 20 seconds and you can see
<eldee> BombScare: damn.. i dont even think jesus was that fast
<eldee> god bless america!
<eldee> or something
<BombScare> hah
#32293
[Nonentity] if you had a friend that was a tightrope walker
[Nonentity] and the two of you were walking down the sreet
[Nonentity] and fell
[Nonentity] it'd be ridiculous
#52272
-koroaway : So ...
-koroaway : a tanker truck full of beer crashed into a bus full of kids on their way to play hockey. In a snowstorm
-koroaway : does it get any more Canadian than that?
#15787
<SiZZuRp> what has 7 balls and screws old ladies?
<Chibi-Trunks> iunno
<SiZZuRp> the lottery
#8986
<czg> you're not gary larson
<Nekroe> czg... how the fuck do you know?
<czg> because I'm gary larson
#780
<dizzy_working> you couldn't kick my ass if I gave you special ass-kicking shoes and bent over for ya
#902
psxfaQ: <-- eating spam
e l i t e m r p: id do that but it wastes too much printer paper
#300402
<lewwy> so i invited some chicks over tomorrow night to build a computer
<lewwy> cuz they're sorta interested in how computers work etc etc
<lewwy> but they cancelled on me this morning...
<Splinton> Ah, thats not good.
<lewwy> yeah i wonder if i scared them off after i started reffering to at as "wild unprotected pc building"
<Splinton> ...
#292
<skunko> dammit
<skunko> how do you get past the metallica ban on napster
<AlmtyBob> not liking crap music is a start
#310619
bcallah | yeah I'm going to bed before I end up in another openbsd fanfic
#15943
<SamGod> crap, not only does my everything hurt, I can't breath fresh air 'cuz all I smell is gasoline
<Coda> why do you smell gasoline SamGod?
<SamGod> Coda: 'cuz I smell like gasoline
<Coda> why?
<SamGod> Coda: I kinda happened to shove an exaust pipe in my sleve for warmth for a few hours last night
<Twist-> See? he is a psycho.
<SamGod> well, actually, I switched off between one sleve, then the other, then my pant leg, then the other, etc...
<Twist-> didn't occur to you to get inside the car?
#4019
<drlion> squirrels have sexy tails
<drlion> like foxes
<[ric]> hmm.... define "sexy"
<[ric]> in fact, don't... I will leave it to my imagination.. :)
#17209
<Sterring> please , I don't really understand english expression cause I'm not so good in english....
<Sterring> use simple words
<Nickname> you stupid
#30609
<cdowdsux> So my friend was telling me about how he tried to commit suicide by taking 20 Advil...so I was just like.. "Dude, why take 20 Advil when you could have just taken 3 Aleve?"
#5774
<p> sux when u have a problem so u eat a cup of pudding and then u still
have problem
#22325
<slipvayne> my bro came home while i was wanking
<slipvayne> ah shit
<slipvayne> he brought some friends
<slipvayne> oh god
<slipvayne> i was watching a porno as well
<slipvayne> fuck i hope he didnt see
<slipvayne> OH FUCK
<slipvayne> oh man
<slipvayne> he better not tell my parents
<slipvayne> thats the last time i wear headphones while watching porn
<slipvayne> fuck im off for a shower
#304645
<PhoneBizarre> Atheist motherfuckah in the hizzouse REPRESENT!
<Reyendo> < atheist 2
<PhoneBizarre> PREACH IT MAH BROTHA
<PhoneBizarre> RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW!
<Reyendo> AMEN, BROTHER!
<Reyendo> LET US SING PRAISES TO THE
<Reyendo> FUCK
#49657
[Mediator] And there is this gel shit
[Mediator] that says do not eat
[Mediator] in big red letters
[Mediator] I think it might be like reverse psycology
Comment: He has just bought a new heatsink, and is exploring the packaging
#28805
<^Neatoo^> I'm so tired of these thieves that keep stealing my condoms.... ITs like "Hey man can i have one of your condoms? " "uhhh no..." "oh..ok *swipe*"
<^Neatoo^> Its like a fucking credit card or something
#300469
* bendertiger has quit IRC (Quit: )
* KaylaKitsune has quit IRC (Quit: Cut the chain of lies, I've been beating and beating and beating myself)
* Sypress has quit IRC (Quit: When two people dream the same dream, it-OMGWTFBBQ)
<zeta> The three styles of quit messages.
<zeta> The simple quit, The emo quit, and the lol quit.
#302893
<@teleolurian> if i were going to try fetishes
<@teleolurian> hair spitting would be #1
<@teleolurian> making her roll up a shadowrun character would be #2
<@minipulator> i realize that fetishes are sort of, by definition, not the norm, but i'm pretty sure at least one other person has to be into it to be considered a fetish
Comment: #smash on BashZen
#2713
(zoo0oop) has anyone ever been known to get frostbite from being in a data center for many hours without a hot drink?
#20136
<Beige> It's one o'clock.
<Beige> Do you know where your children are?
<Apollyon> In my testes.