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#2973
<Xta-C> i really need a gf
<Xta-C> ROFL
<Xta-C> gf3 even
<Xta-C> but yeah, a gf would be nice
#7326
<JtHM> chick + tat = filthy
<JtHM> any girl who has a tat is a whore. if I've learnt anything from pron, that'd be it
#15444
<Mug> ncencence
<Deke> i think you mean unceunceunceunce
<Deke> if you're going to be an unce'ing wanker, at least do it right
<Hiroechan> unce?
<Hiroechan> unf?
<Hiroechan> you aussies have got all sorts of weird noise sounds
<^WaR^Zzz> wtf is unce :)
<Deke> unce is the noise a wog's car makes as it drives past
<Deke> the techno bass beat
<Deke> "unceunceunceunce"
<Deke> nothing like unf
<Hiroechan> heh
<Hiroechan> i was going to suggest: Universal Noise of Cock Eating
<Deke> lmao
#3635
<L0ne_W0lf> I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to what she was doing and she said she was shopping on the Internet, and they asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
#1800
<Matt-H> Leeches cure everything.
<JDigital> What about an allergy to leeches?
<Fry> What about loss of blood ?
<Matt-H> 'cept that, you witty bastard, you.
<JDigital> Or a fear of leeches.
<JDigital> Or lag.
#8670
<|Spanky|> peeing your pants it like happiness
<|Spanky|> everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth
#34422
<@Montana> Damn
<@Montana> I never knew it was so easy getting rid of annoying people...
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> hey
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> whereare you from
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> from bulgaria?
<@Montana> <Montana> I AM RUSSIA!
<@Montana> <Montana> OLD MAN! 53 YEARS OLD!
<@Montana> <Montana> CYBERSEX?
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> no thanks
<@Montana> <Montana> OK!!!!!!
<@Montana> <Montana> *drink vodka*
#31766
We had the schools first HP laser printer installed in the PC lab for less than 24 hours when we received the only the first complaint on it. One of the users came down to tell us that the laser printer wasn't printing and had eaten his report. We tried to explain to him that the printer can't eat your report, and he said, yes it truly had and that there was smoke coming from the printer along with strange grinding noises. Upon investigation we discovered that he had taken his 5 1/4" floppy and had somehow crammed it into the envelope feed and hit printscreen, whereupon it promptly fused into a mess. The printer had less than 50 total pages through it.
#8349
<Hito> This girl at school asked me a really wierd question today.
<Hito> "What's the best ecperience you've ever had while masturbating? Explain why. After, tell me what the worst experience you've had masturbating is, and explain why."
<Jin|Cool> I got that once as an essay question on my SAT.
<Jin|Cool> Mostly why I got a 1200.
#225
<Amanda`> WE COULD USE DHCP FOR WINS RESOLUTION IN OUR ROUTING TABLES OR A STANDARD IPX PACKET TRANSMISSION PROTOCOL WHEN CREATING REVERSE PTR TABLES FOR DYNAMIC CLASS A IP ADDRESSES AND MAKE SURE OUR DNS KERNEL HAS THE CORRECT START OF AUTHORITY RECORD FOR OUR SUBNET MASK WHEN PREPARING PTR RECORDS FOR LOOPBACK MULTICASTING.
<Intra> exactly amanda
#15422
<loud_as_it_getz> yea well
<@KittenAssassin> .........
<loud_as_it_getz> does n e 1 actually chat on mirc??
<@KittenAssassin> no
<Simwolf> nope
<@KittenAssassin> we chat on IRC
<Simwolf> no one at all
<@KittenAssassin> you must be in the wrong place
<Simwolf> absolutely not a FUCKING soul
<loud_as_it_getz> wich is?
<@KittenAssassin> just type /s IRC
<@KittenAssassin> and you will be re directed to IRC
*** Quits: loud_as_it_getz (mary@210.50.66.28738) (Need more parameters)
#11598
<kero> if you jizzed and there wasn't any gravity, u think there'd be a kickback?
<kero> if i was on mars, i'd def hide behind a crater and jerk off
<kero> just to say i did
<fzt> that'd kind suck to be lost in space cause you were viciously beating off
on the moon.
#82992
<Golbez> eastern time is the time in the two most important cities in the world
<Golbez> midtown manhattan and downtown manhattan
#45978
Salixa: I used to have to skin dead mice and chop them up to feed to owls
Salixa: brb looney tunes time
Salixa: :-)
Olego: You have a vile sense of humour.
#311003
<manderson> I decided to surprise visit my mom for thanksgiving.
<manderson> She answered the door and asked, "can I help you?" and looked confused.
<asterick> hah
<manderson> Yeah, then it all went downhill.
<manderson> It took less than 5 minutes before she asked me to fix her computer.
<manderson> You haven't seen me in two years and *that* is what you want?
#29223
<zim> I can't look at the words "Windows XP" and not think that Microsoft are sticking their tongue out at us
#306023
< Obtuse> so the captain says live tesla coils at noon?
<@masterofmonks> That sounds like an odd choice of dueling weapons.
Comment: #thegeekgroup on irc.freenode.net
#61431
<gnarfel> i run linux on my toaster
<gnarfel> granted theres no driver for the heater coils, but the fact that im eating open source toast warms the bread on its own
#70455
[krazy]: i was lost in school today
[krazy]: i couldnt find my class
[krazy]: and guess what the room # was
[dizzy]: ?
[krazy]: 404
#8545
[@Gentleman_Junkie] Sure your ass will hurt, but its better than getting pregnant...
#14690
Zedd: i fucking hate kids.
IronHelix: They won't shut up. Ever.
Zedd: Fucking annoying brats. They serve no practical purpose other than taking up valuable resources.
IronHelix: They scream when they're happy. They scream when they're scared. They scream when you toss them in the garbage disposal. It never ends!
#112057
<Darkmark> Failure is nature's way of saying "Insert coin to continue"
#61152
<kosh> we have a bug that occurs on the 31st of a month
<kosh> so once a month we get a bug report
<kosh> it gets assigned to a developer within 24 hours
<kosh> who then fiddles for a bit before marking it "unable to reproduce"
#52765
<Maxor> you know you're addicted to world of warcraft when you hack onto a temple's wireless internet with your laptop, which is you also have two batteries for, to do a quest with a friend in China during your younger brother's bar mitzvah
#47345
<Khajiit> I don't have much Spyware
<Khajiit> Only I have is from Window's Update
<Mech> You got spyware from Windows Update? :D
<Khajiit> Yes, it is the little baloons that pop-up telling me I need to update
<Khajiit> I got rid of the Spyware so it would leave me alone