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#28339
<@Rjx> I just spent 3 minutes trying to find the wire to my headphones
<@Rjx> then I realised.....THEY ARE WIRELESS HEADPHONES
Comment: #geekissues
#311097
<photo> i poured my root beer into a square cup and now all i have is beer. please advise.
#2128
<stretch> !seen tits
* Trivial_ has never seen tits. Sorry!
#32455
<Bad_CRC> I went to the hospital today, and it's called "olmstead medical group" so the whole place had "OMG OMG OMG" all over it.
#334
<Dert> i would much rather have a big thick detailed atlas of mars than a pair of breasts for one evening
#25623
(timmo) id fucking stab someone if i was in a dorm room
(timmo) and woke up
(timmo) and they were fucking whacking
[Gimdb] i'd finish them off
#276906
xxx: told my boyfriend I wanna wake up to oral pleasure
xxx: and I woke up in the morning, cuz he was trying to stick his dick into my mouth
xxx: fuck
#108878
NeverWakeUp1229: So I had a major conflict between my ego and my cock today
MotherBound0: don’t the two go hand in hand?
MotherBound0: or dick in hand?
NeverWakeUp1229: Whatever
NeverWakeUp1229: So I was turning in my essay at the same time as some hot chick in my history class
NeverWakeUp1229: We both go for the stapler, and naturally I snag it first
NeverWakeUp1229: So my cock goes, “Be a gentleman and offer her the stapler! It’s one less step for you to go to get in her pants.”
NeverWakeUp1229: And my ego says, “No, don’t be a pussy. You don’t owe her shit.”
MotherBound0: so what happened?
NeverWakeUp1229: I offered her the stapler and she told me to go ahead and use it first
NeverWakeUp1229: Best of both worlds
MotherBound0: you possess the most fucked up sense of logic ever
#53548
*** Baku_Kui has joined
<beoba> DO BOOBS SMELL?
<Baku_Kui> you ever suspect that you walked into a room at exactly the wrong momment?
<Baku_Kui> I have a strange feeling like that just now.
#7794
<RighteousSuicide> I was running around today like a retard
<RighteousSuicide> and I hear a BANG
<RighteousSuicide> i couldn't figure out what it was
<RighteousSuicide> then I noticed I had run into a dumpster
#47173
Kel: woops
Kel: the account number doesn't go in the Amount box
Kel: i don't want to transfer $579835962 to account number 145
#88403
<[ka]killer> what if you just took all the servers on the internet and networked them all together....
<[ka]killer> wait...
<[ka]killer> never mind.
#90
<matt`> It is illegal to use UNIX in conjunction with a member of the opposite sex. This could prevent copulation-2.1.3-20.i386.tar.gz from compiling correctly.
#222363
(JadeFrog) chainmail thongs don't look very comfy
(Scrubber) you say that now, but you won't mind when it saves your asscrack from a morning star
(JadeFrog) fair enough
#208366
<prof3ta> i need new windows at work all the time... blank pages or google to quickly alt tab to them
<Drcoco> how about actual work
<Drcoco> to alt tab too
<prof3ta> yea right... they'd never buy that one
#27213
<CheesyP18> surprised my 7" monitor has VGA
<@dabu> wait, u mean it's a separate monitor?? a CRT?
<@dabu> haha, and u wanna encode on that?
<CheesyP18> yea
<CheesyP18> my computer is up to scratch tho
<@Billy|B-A> my dicks bigger than your monitor =\
#306442
#xkcd, approx. five minutes after a discussion involving quantum mechanics:
(DerpNauce) I love how #xkcd-masturbation is completely empty
(Random832) wait
(Random832) how did you manage to observe a channel in a completely empty state
(ellipsis) aaaand we're back to quantum mechanics, awesome
#8496
[dodgelap ] fuck
[dodgelap ] work didnt put my pay into my account
[dodgelap ] wtf is goin on ?
* Synoptica thinks of 'Milton' from office space
#15432
<^CHH>Stormer> brought some bitch home from the bar last night, had to leave her here this morning when I went to work, I come home and the bitch is gone and stole my damn cat
<^CHH>Stormer> that dumb bitch.....
<^CHH>Stormer> she wouldn't even swallow
#300740
<Brian> Hey hey, want to apply for a job at my work?
<Jeremy> Sure, I guess :) What would they need from me?
<Brian> A resume, cover letter, employment history, maybe urine
<Jeremy> I'm guessing they don't want me to mail that last one in :-D
<Brian> No, the last one is for my personal enjoyment.
#306189
<%Mehcore> I want a band called 1023MB
<%Mehcore> We'd never get a gig though
#3452
<Blackmail> I should get a realdoll
<Blackmail> imagine me applying for a loan for that from my bank "yeah, I need a love doll"
<tobdude> LOL
<zerox> I'm sure you could get a realdoll on ebay for half the price
<Blackmail> ew, a used one
<Blackmail> and not made the way I want it either
<zerox> is this the one you want Blackmail
<zerox> http://www.realdoll.com/maledoll1.html
<aNuBiS-> hahah
<Blackmail> I want a she-he-doll
<tobdude> thats so wrong
<CanOfSpam> We're long overdue for an Oprah doll
<Blackmail> UPS won't take anything that heavy
<CanOfSpam> oh
#15724
<marcus> can you make a cisco route packets based on their source address?
<Jon2> marcus: yes. policy-based routing
<FlashMan> marcus - yes, using policy routing
<RoadRuner> marcus: yes. policy routing
<marcus> anyone else?
<drifter-> marcus: yes. policy routing
#311340
<sami> I sent out a memo about proper meme usage
<sami> if they had any questions to contact me, but if I catch them misusing memes then they have to do CSS
<amy> fate worse than cyber jail
#17642
<Squee-G> You're old school? I beta tested the mother fucking abacus!