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#4712
<BombScare> W00T! im #1 on geekissues
<BombScare> im an internet superstar
<snag> now you got something to brag about to the ladies
<snag> before you pee on them
#29236
(@Nichole): ascian gets sassy when she drinks
(@ascian): haha i read 'gets easy'
(@ascian): unfortunately both are true :(
#41
<_Riddler_> i was in the grocery store today
<_Riddler_> and I got this boner
<_Riddler_> I dunno
<_Riddler_> Maybe it was the melons
<IceWizard> Riddler: YOU SAW THE CARROTS
#59503
-[A]lucard- [Global Notice] Dear whoever is talking to Nickserv about "death cheese of heaven" and "ok go now" .. your messages aren't going to their intended target.
Comment: irc.surrealchat.net
#54839
<karaipantsu> augh
<karaipantsu> I've been up since 3 in the morning today, and needed some something to keep me awake, ya?
<karaipantsu> So I go to the coffee room, and I'm like, "Oh hey, a big bowl of sugar", and dumped a bunch in my mouth.
<karaipantsu> Non-dairy creamer. D:
#308894
* Daemon404 has unlocked the secrets to manually cross-compiling gcc
<Daemon404> canadian even
<Lumpio-> Cross-compiling it to Canadian?
<Lumpio-> whoa
<Kulag> Lumpio-: Basically it just apologises when it segfaults.
<Lumpio-> Does it apologize in both English and French?
<Lumpio-> Also it is available under the french name lclcdlg ?
<Lumpio-> (Le compilatión la compilaieurs de la Gnú)
#73083
Arciel: Yeah but you know, cannibalism is really just another form of recycling
#43500
(eve`) girls don't fart
(mrsalvado) That is the biggest lie ever.
(mrsalvado) I mean Santa Claus + The Easter Bunny is a smaller lie, together.
(Ravenclaw) THE EASTER BUNNY IS A LIE?!
(Riftwalkr) WTF SPOILERS
(Ravenclaw) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(Riftwalkr) ASSHOLE
#43046
<Beefy> hmmm
<Beefy> whats a good "icon" type thing for a "support" section
<Beefy> can't use a question mark as thats already for help
<compguy> a bra?
#118914
<@jonathan|roh> do you ever accidentally type more than 1 character
<@jonathan|roh> like type "helloo world"
<@jonathan|roh> I do
<LoX`> sometimes
<@jonathan|roh> and I feel guilty when I delete the extra character
<LoX`> I tend to spell "tomorrow" wrong
<LoX`> lol
<@jonathan|roh> it's like I brought that character to life
<@jonathan|roh> and now, I'm deleting it
<LoX`> oh wow
<LoX`> That's definitely something you don't hear everyday
<@jonathan|roh> I feel even more guilty if I delete the first occurance rather than the accidental occurance
<LoX`> You feel guilty over deleting characters?
<@jonathan|roh> you don't?
<@jonathan|roh> what kind of heartless beast are you?
#60819
<pinky> hmm
<pinky> if i give the ants enough time they'd clean the kitchen themselves
#4847
<Gersh> wow
<Gersh> I rule
<Gersh> I made one of my ex's cry over aim
<Gersh> dammit I wish she had a webcam
#309185
<lucky> i got into it with an asphalt contractor at work and then had his truck towed for being in a handicapped space.
<SatNiGHTS> did you shout at him "MENTAL HANDICAPS DON'T COUNT!"?
<lucky> the best part? the lines are barely visible because HE didn't paint them as he was hired to do last summer. so he didn't see them.
<lucky> he came storming in, scared my paraschiz resident (poor guy), and demanded he be "payed what he was owed for his time in August". i told him that according to our records, he was paid exactly what he was owed - in that, he was paid for what he did, not what the original contract said. He never re-striped the lot or sealed the south end of the cul de sac.
<lucky> he wouldn't shut up. i asked him to leave. he didn't. i told him to leave. he didn't. i made his truck leave without him while he was making an irate phone call.
<myself> did he see it in mid-tow, or only after it was gone?
<lucky> mid tow. told him they regularly monitor the handicapped spaces, it is after all a senior community. his reply : "YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE FUCKING SYMBOL!!!!" my reply: "my point exactly."
#300455
<Alter-Ego> what you should do cougem is knock the girl out with all the drugs and stuff
<Alter-Ego> then put her balls in her mouth
<+Asestorian> ...
<%cougem> ...
<Alter-Ego> and get someone to take a photo
<+Asestorian> what
<%cougem> ...
<%cougem> Alter-Ego have u ever seen a naked girl
#43574
MySeLf169: today we had softball practice
MySeLf169: and while we were playing, a group of guys from a nearby high school drove by
MySeLf169: and yelled "softball's for pussies!"
MySeLf169: so I replied "fuck you, you bastards!" and flipped them off
MySeLf169: then it hit me
MySeLf169: the softball team I was on was for my church
MySeLf169: and the senior minister was on our team
MySeLf169: I think I'll sit in the back this sunday....
#29052
<czechreck> Hey.. I was totally shit faced, I could have impreagnated my dog and not known untill I got an ugly litter
#20350
LinkDJ: hey, you might be able to help me out here
LinkDJ: Where might a brother be able to be alone with his ho?
UH60SO: The Matrix
LinkDJ: Thanks. When my balls fall off, I'll give you one.
#28462
<avarrin> sup manda
<avarrin> :)
<ShexyBish> hey you..
<ShexyBish> nada
<ShexyBish> bored as fucjk
<ShexyBish> er
<ShexyBish> ruck
<ShexyBish> danm
<avarrin> haha
<ShexyBish> fuck
<hippyjoe> see
<hippyjoe> women and computers...
<ShexyBish> i havent even started drinking yet
#1774
<WabbyTwax> MOVIE TRIVIA TIME You have to beat EtherMan's high score of 720
<WabbyTwax> Question #59: for 60 points . . . .
<WabbyTwax> What special skill did the cricket possess in the movie "Mulan"?
<Evil_God> talking
<EtherMan> speech
<D-viant> singing
<Evil_God> ninjitsu
<EtherMan> swordsmanship
<D-viant> violin
<EtherMan> flight
<D-viant> fighting
<EtherMan> homosexuality
<D-viant> japanese fighting cricket
<Evil_God> big slapping testicles
<WabbyTwax> Sorry, your time is up! You had 30 seconds to answer.
<D-viant> expanding rectum
<Evil_God> opium addiction
#38044
(StickMutilator) I was stuck in Mario for a long time.........I didn't realise you could jump
#6363
<JelloMan> jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world...
<JelloMan> white and white, white and white, they are precious in his sight.
#8526
<helminthes> haikus are real gay
<helminthes> cause they put limitations
<helminthes> on syllables used
#29704
« DR_Satan0 » but jesus i couldnt look at my mom while she is riding me no matter how shitfaced i was..
Comment: From #dcemu on cheatlist
#266270
Curt teh Juggler: our graduation ceremony was today, and right when some gamer nerd got his diploma, someone in the audience played the zelda "get item" music and he did the zelda spin-hold-out-item stance
Curt teh Juggler: it was quite possibly the most amazing thing ever.
#27200
<ecchi-oni-misha132> i watched legally blonde 1 in the hospital
<Frostbiteh2o> heh
<Frostbiteh2o> how was it?
<ecchi-oni-misha132> found it mildly amusing with the help of opiats