Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#3931
<Panty_HaX0r> I masturbate near constantly, and I have a steady supply of sex
<Scofco> sex-drives that high should be bottled and sold on store shelves
#303335
<noms> I WANT TACOS.
* Burrito has quit (Quit: Leaving)
#55507
<S> fnuh?
<S> a fly just flew into my monitor
<S> then instantly collapsed on my desk
<Markus> hehe
<Markus> maybe it has no depth perception and thought your background was real
<S> except you can't see my background for the masses of windows open
<S> besides that, it's just plain dark cyan
<Markus> could make a joke about flies flying into windows but that's too corny
#7250
<yunicus> god has so many stalkers
#2483
<jason> life is like a rental car, you fuck it up, and give it back.
#20164
<KJ> I was in a shop in Britain, when an American tourist in front of me tried to pay for something in US dollars. The shop keeper politely told her that this was Britain, and you can't use U.S. dollars here. The lady replied... "But I had no problems in other third world countries"
#30399
* davehartM fries an egg on an AMD
<@Nerf> mmm, fried
* Azhrarn fries his lap on his laptop
<Azhrarn> hrmm, there's an idea
* Azhrarn renames dnetc to eggfrier, runs it at higher priority and flips his laptop over
<Azhrarn> WHO WANTS OMELETES?
Comment: #distributed@irc.distributed.net
#9157
Moonli3756 : my butt looks 100 times better than your face
Shaboobooboo : and gets fucked over 10 million times more
#10165
BeHeMoTh101 : dude, this one time in school i was looking at this advertisement to a christian club
BeHeMoTh101 : and on the poster it said "who carries your load? jesus does."
BeHeMoTh101 : and i was like, wtf it's the scrotum
#18464
<Zimbu> Listening to WvSoulja's raps is like masturbating with a cheese grater-- sorta amusing, but mostly painful.
#172
[@kode54] /quote:96 <smcn> uNF = universal noise of fucking
[@kode54] one of my few smcn quotes (I need more!)
[@smcn] ok i will say something funny
[@smcn] i'm having trouble breathing
[@smcn] and my dick is on fire
[@smcn] is this normal?
#310609
* Jigsy frantically runs into the channel with an urgent message.
<Jigsy> The anorgasmic are comin- wait, wait, sorry, false alarm. They're not.
#29856
<altus> yanno what sucks
<altus> when you yawn
<altus> and then in the middle of the yawn you start laughing
<altus> and then you feel weird because you didnt finish the yawn
<micronix> yea that sucks
#47538
(Nitrix) Anyone in here an avid reader?
(%Outlaw) yeah
(Nitrix) What do you read Outlaw
(%Outlaw) im lurking in about 11 channels, you?
Comment: irc.zirc.org
#68
<HomerJ> Microsoft could shit in a box, adn most people would buy it
#12547
<veggie> when matthew was just learning to talk we were on the bus
<veggie> and he couldnt quite pronounce truck
<veggie> he pronounced it fuck
<sully> back to work with you :)
<sully> LOL veggie
<veggie> so he looks out the bus window and says really loud...
<veggie> OH MOMMY BIG FUCK
<sully> LOL!
<veggie> hahaha
<veggie> BIG HUGE FUCK
<veggie> firetruck = firefuck
<veggie> dumptruck = dumpfuck
<veggie> etc..
#28926
<noxic> jon is a power house
<clay> of weakness
#37704
[23:50] * HerbDX is now on holiday, back in 2 weeks
[23:55] * HerbDX is on holiday [ back in 2 weeks 6 days 23 hours and 55 minutes ]
[23:55] <harryj> this is gonna be a LONG 2 weeks
#2559
<gb> BlackDeth: have you ever tasted your own jizz?
<BlackDeth> no
<BlackDeth> or anybody elses jizz for that matter
<BlackDeth> i've shot jizz in my eye
<BlackDeth> but i wasn't aiming
<BlackDeth> so i dont feel as bad
<gb> sure you werent
<BlackDeth> no i mean there was somebody else at the controls
<blazemore> did he apologize
#1471
<isocat> feasting meant a lot more when people were hungrier, i guess
#8257
<+Incantation> shag's 100% let you cry on his shoulder and make you think he cares so that he can manipulate you into sucking his cock
<+Julie42> HOLY SHIT! Good. Because here I was thinking I had to think of things to cry about, just so I could suck on his cock.
#310012
<Killswitch> I bet all the cool math nerds call each other algebros
#28426
<Data> I majored in sex.
<holysox> your a drop out then?
<Data> :fu:
#294923
Anemia says: *sigh* as soon as I changed my status on facebook back to single... all the ads changed into "dating site" or "how to get back together with your ex" >:(
#28965
<[Piratez]> lol i had ice in ma glass, i left it for a while, i just took a look at the glass and i was thinking, 'who the fuck stole ma ice'...
<[Piratez]> go figures where it went :)