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#237754
<Technocactus> So me and Will are walking down the street
<Technocactus> And we see some German chicks chilling
<Technocactus> Will knows a bit of German, so he agrees to give me some lines to say
<Technocactus> Meant to be shit like "You're looking good"
<Technocactus> Fucker got me to say in German "I'd marry any of you except the fat one"
<Technocactus> So now I got this handprint on my face where the fat girl slapped me :\
#3751
<djcrom> TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY
<djcrom> I ACCEPT VISA, MASTERCARD, AND WEED.
#8812
<+Sheri> *gasp* I neverrrrrr
<@LabMonkey> the fuck you didn't, I videotaped that shit
#39011
<Shadow> 1337 translates not to leet, as many people suspect, but actually to retarded.
#16974
<Cyc66> http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=****
<Cyc66> plz ruin that auction
<bbz_> what do i want to do that for?
<Cyc66> she's a dirty whore
<bbz> maybe i could get her phone number
<Cyc66> uh why would u do that
<bbz> well, if she is a dirty whore
#30522
<BusyChild> i hate it when youre just flirting with a girl and you poke her on accident
#50000
<celti> Ahh!
<celti> No more sticky spacebar
<celti> ...fuck.
<celti> If you laugh, I will murder you.
#87368
<[F12]Nick> ummm does neone know how to change my font back from size 26...i can read about 3 messages at a time and they all intimidate me
<[E09]SEANO> File > Settings > Colours and Fonts
<[F12]Nick> also...my homepage is meatspin.com...my username seems to be shabongbong and there black porn all thru my recent documents
<[F12]Nick> i think i need to lock my door
<[F12]Nick> next time i go out
#308192
<Ikthyrion> oh wow... finding stuff when you are drunk is really hard
<Ikthyrion> what was I looking for?
<Ikthyrion> I found a cat
<&ZachPrime> you were looking for your phone
#32496
<@Ravnos> The Miata looks like a suppository with wheels...
<@acaos> I used to park next to one.
<@acaos> But my first thought every day I saw it was 'wow, that would fit up my ass like nobody's business.'
<@acaos> er. was NOT.
#1330
(fub) I walked into a police station once to pick up some court papers, and I smoked a joint about 5 blocks away and I was was sitting in there for awhile and I looked down at my shoes and the roach was on the front tounge of my shoe ;/
#41907
<influxsys> yea, gf is all pissed coz i insulted some fatties today
<n3cro> heh
<influxsys> it's ok though. i got my just deserts
<influxsys> we had just left the cinema and we were walking infront of these two huge fat bastards and could hear them talking
<influxsys> one goes to the other. "by gosh it sure is hot today"
<influxsys> i slyly said not thinking they could hear me "that's because you're a fucking fatty"
<influxsys> they totally heard me. one picked me up and squeezed the shit out of me while the other belted into my front organs, as i was quivering on the ground in pain the fattest one ran back and stole my fucking popcorn
#19976
<Technogeek> I've had to akick Bruce five times now.
<Technogeek> I feel like I'm playing whack-a-mole over IRC.
#70492
<vh> So I wonder if when you're really good at something and you die and go to heaven, if there is some dude who was doing it 2000 years ago, who's been doing it heaven the whole time, who's like.. 2000 years better at it then you
<vh> and like.. you try to catch up, but it's like.. he's always 2000 years better
<vh> so you get really depressed and try to kill yourself, but you're already dead
<vh> reincarnation solves a lot of these problems
Comment: #perl
#24945
<Milky> Tony Blair has just announced that he is sending the people that chose Liverpool to be the European City of Culture, out to Iraq.
<Milky> The theory is that if they can find Culture in Liverpool then Weapons of Mass Destruction should be a piece of p1ss.
#37188
<Rjx> I think I'm going to print off a few pamphlets for people who are under 18 and have had a kid
<Rjx> entitled "so you've ruined your life"
<Rjx> "and your vagina"
Comment: #geekissues
#31923
<Lailoken> On Cinemax tonight they're showing Shrek from 11:00 to 12:30 and then Best Sex Ever from 12:30 to 1:00.
<Lailoken> Somewhere in America parents leave their child to go to a dinner party, "Here honey, you just watch Shrek and we'll be home some time after midnight."
#33263
* HPLPB|Comp2 needs to wash dishes and cook pasta
<DB> HPLPB|Comp2: By that, you mean "Wash my vibrator and tune into some gay porn", no?
<HPLPB|Comp2> DB: pretty much
#306225
<TParadox> January 20th, 2008: President Bush approaches the helicopter waiting to carry him away from the White House for the last time, turns to the crowd and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen... The Aristocrats!"
#49782
<cobalt27x> florida is a giant phallic hurricane magnet
#57199
<Kilonum_NAKED> my father wants back in my life
<ataraxia> get dressed first
#307553
<@hackess> I keep losing my tea
<@Novice> hackess: That sounds like the English version of losing one's shit
#298766
< amee2k> fow: provided i had enough to drink, i'll satisfy your every desire :)
< fow> :o
< fow> amee2k, including the one where Left4Dead works on my laptop through Wine?
#33067
· · ChanMode : Sexy sets mode [ +o ] mi||i0n
[ @mi||i0n ] (&) join synced in 3 minutes and 43.281 seconds.
! @mi||i0n claps
[ @mi||i0n ] a new record
[ @mi||i0n ] :(
[ @\user\bin ] lovely
[ @\user\bin ] thats some serious AOL pwnage
#373
<Flobbster> Haw, my computer doesn't like for ZipMagic to access a zip in a zip
in a zip on a parallel port Zip drive :D
<redslime> a zip in a zip in a zip on a zip?