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#20503
<Radu> a friend of my dad's in Texas named his daughter Treasure Darling
<Radu> i shit you not
<Tac0> did you fuck her
<Tac0> ?
<Radu> dude, it's his newborn baby, you idiot
<Tac0> whats your point
#6139
Clayton: man, i am so tired..but my bed is full of dog puke.
#8752
<Linguica> do you even know what facetious means
<pickle_hammer> yeah I am facetious
<pickle_hammer> all the way
<pickle_hammer> I go to facetious parades and stuff
#70284
<MSCaptain> man Im feeling stupid
<MSCaptain> what are the five senses again?
<MSCaptain> touch, taste, sound sight and what
<JDigital> spidey
<MSCaptain> yes thanks JD
#28902
<rzr_grl_> look, i'm replicating
<@synec> in public?
<@synec> have you no shame?
#301256
<Sebas> So today's dinner is leftovers.
<Sebas> Problem is, being the greedy fucks we are, we ate all the food yesterday.
<Sebas> I'm not entirely sure how my mum plans to make dinner out of nothing.
#54117
(Chongablonga) this guy i know was convinced he could breakdance
(Chongablonga) so we always used to be like 'john show us some breakdancing' and he'd just hurl himself at the floor and spin on his face
#6133
<BedBoB> ERR: scsi_wait_goat() no goat.
<lsd> i'm sure i don't remember having any goats near my old all-SCSI amiga
<Bruce> the mac II here doesnt need goats either
<BedBoB> they have inbuilt goats
<lsd> on-board goat controller
#199773
<yak[work]> This,..... is the weirdest error message I have ever gotten on database import...
<yak[work]> ---
<yak[work]> ERROR 1064 (42000) at line 1302: You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near ''orgasmic climax is like a parado' at line 1
<yak[work]> ---
#9575
<Parc[Cleaning]> I'm starting to worry about my memory :-(
<Parc[Cleaning]> I was walking along, and it struck me that I had to go to the bathroom. So I went to the place, unzipped my pants, and then realized I was standing in front of the trashcan o_O
#38001
benn: ooh a close up of some boobs
adam: haha, 10MB in two minutes
adam: almost as good as boobs
Comment: geekery
#57433
<moira_> I am currently installing japtalk support on lap-top
<moira_> so I can write "can I tuch ur boobs" in japa-nese
<pamplmoose> jokes on you the only japanese speakers who have boobs are white men
#16431
<Danelope> "Nine people in total have had gene therapy at the Necker Hospital, and seven of them are doing well."
<Danelope> The other two transformed into hideous demon-beasts and began slaying the hospital staff.
<Danelope> And eating their brains.
#24624
<Mr_Meeker> you know how cats always land on their feet and toast always lands on the top?
<Mr_Meeker> i tried taping toast to my cats back :P
<Mr_Meeker> went apeshit
#214880
<~SHAGGSTaRR> "Whats the best thing about fucking a transvestite?
<~SHAGGSTaRR> Reaching around and thinking it's gone all the way through."
Comment: timboss #dirt
#311302
<dn5> I have int start = 1476620495; and int end = 1476620495 (unix timestamp), but if I have int res; and then res = end - start, res returns 0 when printf with %d
<dn5> why?
<izalove> because it's the same number?
<fstd> duh
<dn5> okay thats not supposed to happen haha
<fstd> ,reset
<candide> Days since our last accident: 0
Comment: ##c at freenode
#35085
<Rjx> my mom wrote out her shopping list and stuck it on the door
<Rjx> and my older brother in identical handwriting wrote "buy magnets" at the bottom
<Rjx> and now she's confused because she can't remember why she wanted to buy magnets
#310028
<Natrist> what do i do already if i want my variable to be defined once and not get millions of redefiniton errors?
<jrslepak> define it only once
#2105
<RockShox> greddy is pretty high quality stuff
<RockShox> i prefer apexi exhausts tho
<ocx> for cars?
<RockShox> no for bicycles
#15436
<Godfather> white people dont go to jail, look at OJ
<Inferno> he's black u fag
<Godfather> oh
#13200
<erisynne> he has a ctcp version fetish
<erisynne> he did it to me 7 times
<GreenMtn> did you lose your versionity?
#16990
TallyHoTheZebra: i love fire
TallyHoTheZebra: if i could have sex with it, i would
#31946
<Melissa> What in the world was I thinking when I became a mother?
<JohnFlux> Melissa: "oh god, yes yes yes" ?
#306448
<LordFrith> If you need floating point math in your script, you need to begin writing in a complete language.
<grawity> Speaking of which. Is it bad when half of my script is bash, the other half is Perl?
<lautriv> grawity, as long as the third half is NOT VB, it's ok.
<grawity> Halves usually come in pairs of two.
<LordFrith> Someone programming in VB might not realize that.
#2960
<waterfire> All women are gay, or at least that's what they tell me