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#11632
<Pod-Matey> Dod is great
<Hydrac7> I've always disliked the hand models on DoD
<Pod-Matey> Hydrac, not everyone has soft and supple hands
<Hydrac7> Pod-Matey: I get it from frequent masturbation with hand lotion.
<Pod-Matey> Hydrac, I was going to mention something of the like, but I see you've already explained more than I ever could
#2099
<ScratGod> I put a comment by each line of code that says
<ScratGod> x = 1; // FUCK YOU FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF BITCH
#310872
< wushin> bjorn not ded, bjorn is parent, parents are zombies because children are parasites
< wushin> Trust me, I'm someone's father.
< Kage> wushin: I would see a doctor about it
< wushin> We did several times.
< wushin> #KidsAreExpensive
#51739
Clo Poud: my dad
Clo Poud: is pressuring me into buying a car
Rodri316: Clo Poud
Rodri316: Keep your dad's volume constant
Rodri316: and lower his body temperature
Clo Poud: rodri
Clo Poud: what the FUCK
Clo Poud: are you even TALKING ABOUT
Rodri316: according to Gay-Lussac's law, his pressure should decrease
#30645
* +Yardbomb tries to make his cat swear fealty.
<+Yardbomb> my arm is bleeding :(
#19477
(+Normandy) apparantly, and i was told this on good terms, that girls refer to other "physically challenged" girls as "sparkly"
(+Normandy) when lads would simply say "ugly as fuck"
#44174
< wasdeep> and i have "help" in my hilight list, which is annoying when people say the word "help" but aren't requesting help
* yawgm8th is listening to "The Beatles - Help!"
< yawgm8th> if somene kicked me in the nards i'd let out a loud whelp
< wasdeep> hehehehe
< wasdeep> stop it, bitch
< yawgm8th> i can't help it
Comment: talking about the /hilight command in irssi
#42339
<ETR> I'm a CS major
<Spork-> What college?
<prev^ail> how can you do a major in counter strike?
#261856
<Bobsentme> So, at work, HR decided to put up signs with some of the classic monsters (Frankenstein, The Mummy, Wolfman, etc) and slogans like "You'll get wrapped up in reading blah, blah, blah" and "Reading is electrifying" for halloween
<Bobsentme> Well, apparently, they also decided to put up, on the wall outside the cafeteria a whole timeline of GLBT contributions throughout history
<Bobsentme> GLBT = Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered.
<Bobsentme> So, as I'm walking down the hall, I look over at the GLBT wall, not really paying a lot of attention, until I get to the end...
<Bobsentme> Where someone had placed one of the HR halloween signs, with the Boogeyman on it, that read "Have you checked YOUR closet lately?"
#27909
<slippy> wtf is this shit on bbc1
<slippy> how on earth do you prevent friendly fire?
<slippy> don't fight with the americans?
<slippy> hrhrhr
<doggie^> hahah
<doggie^> maybe if we painted all our military equipment red white and blue
<doggie^> they would be so overcome with patriotism they wouldnt be able to blow us up
<slippy> lol
<slippy> paint golden arches on all the tanks
<slippy> then a little sign under saying "this is not a drive-thru, you dopey obese fools"
#309529
<oohy9n> I moved a server from one data center to another, and some guy updated wordpress, after which some of his image hyperlinks got broken
<oohy9n> he emailed me and was like "When you moved, did you by any chance forget the images in the moving van?"
#8080
<z_evil1> what would be the good of a 3m dong? apart from the fact that you could only use the tip of it, not even that if it was in proportion, it would be reeeeal easy to get damaged, you'd have lag problems with sensations along it's length, and it would make you pass out upon erection :P
<z_evil1> mind you, you might be able to hang yourself with a 3m dong
<z_evil1> imagine that for a front page headline
<Bug> tie it round.. get an erection.. it'll do all the work..
<z_evil1> "IRC addicted freak hangs self with genitals"
#17421
<isd> if I could suck my dick, I would never leave my house
#79646
(Volte) people in japan want to look like americans
(Volte) nerds in america want to look japanese
(Volte) they should just switch places and they would be all set
(Nudger) japanese people really really like foreigners
(Nudger) they just hate the idea of foreigners being anywhere near them
(Nudger) im going to set up a zoo
(Nudger) nerds can come and watch anime for free and japanese people can interact with them from a safe distanc
#111159
<k-hate> i loved the queen because she was a slut
<k-hate> and have huge tits
<faight> k-hate: I think the first thing I fapped to was the queen from battle chess
<faight> I rememebr getting hard playing that game
#543
<MojoBag> [DaemoN_] She kicked my dog, and now i am going to FUCK her.
* freeweed kix Daemon's dog
* DaemoN_ fucks her
<smcn> fucks who? your dog?
#5468
<casmill2> I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet.
#10976
<Dryzzid{Nap}> So I wonder...do people in France, England, etc. measure their penises in the metric system?
<perianwyr> LET'S LOOK UP SOME UK GAY PORN AND FIND OUT
#5774
<p> sux when u have a problem so u eat a cup of pudding and then u still
have problem
#7890
<Fodz> I AM JUST NOT APPRECIATED AROUND HERE
<rabbitfood> not for your brains fods, just your arse. :)
#36044
[olleke] last night i was to drunk to walk
[olleke] so i drove home by car
[grindA] good job olleke
[olleke] not a smart plan
[olleke] parked it in the garage
[olleke] without opening the door
[reeseboisse] hah
[B-Boy Boogie Smalls] lol
[olleke] nasty sight when ya have a hangover
[olleke] so i puked again
[B-Boy Boogie Smalls] lol
[olleke] need a new car
[olleke] this one looks rediculous now
#301159
<stay> have you ever browsed Yahoo Answers religion section?
<stay> i swear
<stay> its where the idea for 4chan came from
#38
<Relevant> get oral_sex_training_video.mpg
<Relevant> Oops wrong window.
#8965
*** gamingsloop0r is now known as sloop
<@sloop> parents
<@sloop> fs
<@sloop> when u leave home remember this important lesson
<@sloop> on a sunday
<@sloop> when ur not doing anything
<@sloop> phone them
<@sloop> or
<@sloop> they will phone u when ur busy
<@sloop> and expect a 1 hr conversation
<@ronin\dm> well it is fathers' day
<@sloop> oh shit
<@sloop> brb making a call
#52606
< specsmu> ohhhh that reminds me
< specsmu> after I went to petsmart I went to panda express
< specsmu> I ordered my food, went through the line
< specsmu> keep in mind I'm 6', full beard
< specsmu> the lady looks at me, and says "can I help you, maam?"
< specsmu> so I said in a really loud voice, "wow, they call me maam on the phone all the time, but never in person"
< specsmu> she apologized... so after I called her "sir" once, I dropped it.