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#13925
<@Jamie_M> a log that proves ZXD bought his girlfriend at wal mart
<@Jamie_M> THIS COULD BE FUN
#51840
<Dudicon> Hmm.
<Dudicon> What I just did started out ridiculously lazy, but then... I don't know what happened.
<Dudicon> I was too lazy to get up and get a piece of paper, so I decided to print a blank page from the printer.
<Dudicon> But... I couldn't open any new files in Word Perfect, because I had the max number open already
<Dudicon> So I went through all the files to see which I could close
<Dudicon> Then closed that one and made a new file
<Dudicon> But it wouldn't let me print it blank
<Dudicon> So I put an "F" on the document and made the font white.
<Dudicon> Then printed it
<Dudicon> Just to move this piece of paper 18 inches closer to me.
<BaronSamedi> ...
<BaronSamedi> Dud, kill yourself. Your life is now complete.
Comment: #almea
#300803
dargus.kelen: was staring at the sole free outlet on the nightstand, wondering how the hell I was going to plug my laptop and iphone in at the same time
dargus.kelen: then I thought "if the clock has a USB connection, I could use that"
dargus.kelen: then 2 and 2 suddenly equaled 4
#45815
<Error404> Why would a girl tell me that 2 guys just asked her out.
<Error404> Think she wants me to ask her out?
<Akamu> Error404: Mabey she thinks you're gay and is offering you the one whe doesn't choose.
<Error404> fuck you whore I need advice quickly
<Syntacs> She's probably just trying to make you jealous.
<Syntacs> Tell her you just married 3 women.
#135732
<flame> i once tasted this girl who soooo salt&sour
<flame> she was delicious
<flame> very pleasant
<flame> wonder what makes that
<lee> semen
#39529
<Raxor> I love the way my mom bursts into my room while I'm masturbating
<Raxor> then when I suddenly lean forward to cover my genitals she stands there and pretends nothing happened
<Raxor> just looks straight at me and says "come set the table"
<Raxor> then she kept standing there until I finally said, "okay..."
<Borisyen> she was waiting to be asked to 'help out' bwahahaha
<Raxor> then as she was leaving I noticed I never turned the porn off, so there was some girl sucking on a dick on the screen the whole time
<Raxor> well bbl.. I've got to do some awkward table setting.
#265546
<+arinder> evening
<&Frell> Afternoon
<+Highfarm> well hello there children...
<+arinder> i have Popsicles in my basement
<+Highfarm> is that another way of saying you´re taking it in the ass ? :D
<+arinder> wow i never thought it that way :D
<+arinder> :(
#28815
<Rhamphoryncus> damnit, why does it have to be so hard to discuss quantum physics in sex channels?!
#3105
<NinjaRyu> I remember in sex ed in the 10th grade someone actually asked whether the "pull-out" method was effective birth control
#10052
<Kiz`> a semi decent looking girl can get laid whenever she wants
<Kiz`> just go up to a guy
<Kiz`> "sex?"
<Kiz`> a guy can't do such things
<Yuffie> Maybe you haven't gone up to the right guy?
#310235
<worstcase> once we look at women as 3d printers i think abortion wont be as much of a big deal
#20855
<|NightChade|> Chinese smorgasboard and beer - $15
<|NightChade|> 3 glasses of red wine - $6
<|NightChade|> 4 salami sticks and a gurana energy drink - $8
<|NightChade|> 2 litres of coke - $1.80
<|NightChade|> The screams of horror of your toilet - Priceless
#311141
<slidercrank> is that true that Spanish programmers have to write ¡ along with ! in their code? such as "while (¡var!) {..}" The same with the ternary operator: a=¿b>0? b; -b;
Comment: ##c++:
#1600
<Prae> <mmp> Prae! Today its my birthday!
<Prae> <Prae> wanna present?
<Prae> <mmp> yes
<Prae> I’m ping flooding him
#1323
<hypr> ¿
<LkTruth1> hypr is confused in Spanish.
#297398
<VyseTheQuick> i dropped my combo a lot
<VyseTheQuick> and i don't have control over OD
<RonJon1> wat
<SiftHeads> premature activation?
<VyseTheQuick> sadly yes
<SiftHeads> don't worry, it happens to everyone sooner or later.
<SiftHeads> someday you'll learn to control your activation
<pksage> You, too, can achieve Unison Bonus.
<@ApplesAtWork> I get a feeling this conversation isn't really about Rock Band
Comment: #Rockband
#119039
<Jon`> i only forwarded port 1024
<Jon`> are there more ports i need to forward?
<Astrum|Lap> all of them
<McShaggy|lap> Jon`
<McShaggy|lap> bend over, ill open your port for you
<Jon`> baby my port's already open for you
<McShaggy|lap> <3
<McShaggy|lap> i slide my meaty phallus between your hard steel man hams
<Astrum|Lap> ...
<Jon`> er,
<Jon`> yeah
<Jon`> that went just a bit far
#303386
<jer> on a side note, love the new iphone headset -- they don't tangle as easily
<jer> s/headset/earbuds\/whatever/
<erica> earbuds == evil evil evil
<jer> erica, three evils? thought just two?
<erica> Left ear, right, sinuses
<atomicbird> if the earbuds hurt your sinuses, you're probably using them wrong
#8982
<Fern> dag. some guy in NY hit 19 people with a buick regal. I wonder if there's some sort of bonus round for that.
#5648
<@Plaid> this song is much better with long hair
#13567
<SarahS> You can remove testicles?
<Phenom6996> Yep
<Phenom6996> and breasts
<Phenom6996> It requires special tools
<ajplus1> yeah....a knife
#310171
<kmc> I like telling people who've only used high level languages about the bizarre forms of undefined behavior in C, and then ending it with "this language and its relatives are used for most systems in planes, cars, medical devices, nuclear reactors, etc."
#310035
<ioiom63> I went to the doctor, and I had to fill out these papers, right?
<ioiom63> They must use the same papers for men and women, because I had to fill in whether or not I was pregnant.
<ioiom63> I'm a bit of a dick, so I wrote "You never know!"
<ioiom63> 30 minutes later a nurse is VERY angry with me because they're extremely busy already and I've just made things worse...
<ioiom63> ...because if a patient gives any indication of being unsure whether or not they are pregnant, the staff are legally required to take the time to do a pregnancy test.
<ioiom63> Apparently the rule does not also state "...but only if the patient is female."
<ioiom63> Long story short, I am most definitely NOT pregnant.
#147203
<Giichi> so I saw a jeep for sale with the decal in the front, Christian Offroad Association
<DragonJoeCool> what doesn't Jesus do?
<Giichi> gays
<DragonJoeCool> true enough
#2482
<althea> i was fucked on tranquilizers
<althea> fucked up i mean