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#297766
<@monkey> so, is anyone else going to update their resume with "5 year google beta tester"?
#297048
<+August> speaking of which, mom yelled at me the other day for not having a flying carpet in WoW.
<+August> i was like mom, my tailoring isn't high enough.
<+August> she was like "well get on it!"
#2414
<Ickypeww> i ain't eating no girl untill they genetically engineer one with a watermellon flavored pussy that gets sweeter when she gets exited
#94
<iMike-> call tech support and be like yeah my friend stole windows 2000 from officemax and he burned it for me
<iMike-> and it's not working properly
#208366
<prof3ta> i need new windows at work all the time... blank pages or google to quickly alt tab to them
<Drcoco> how about actual work
<Drcoco> to alt tab too
<prof3ta> yea right... they'd never buy that one
#305287
Suzuran: So my boss was talking about that 9 year old girl who got shot with the congresscritter
Suzuran: Talking about how she was young and innocent and looking at a career in politics "Totally innocent, she just wanted to know how American politics worked!"
Suzuran: And I said "Well, now she knows!"
Suzuran: and now he's mad at me.
Comment: #ShrineMaiden@ppirc
#59739
Camper Man: There must have been a power outage
Camper Man: No ones online
Benbread: No, you're just unpopular
#153537
<nyschashi> so I'm reading this george bush hentai manga
<nyschashi> it's pretty great
<nyschashi> Bush and Saddam make peace after they gang bang some random girl
<nyschashi> ;/
<nyschashi> the girl then randomly dropkicks Kim Jong-Il
<nyschashi> I'm skipping through about 30 pages at a time, but it looks like george bush randomly turns into a tentacle demon and rapes a bunch of people
#16665
<@drew> my uterus is bleeding
<@cognac> drew, you don't have a uterus
<@drew> oh
#26246
<D4NG3R0U5> one time, in my science class, i had this dream...
<daenonok> dude you slept in class?
<D4NG3R0U5> in which my girlfriend (who sat a few seats away) got up, and, on her way over to me took off her top, then got on her knees and unzipped my pants
<D4NG3R0U5> yeah i slept in class, sometimes (when i decided it was time for my medication)
<D4NG3R0U5> and, bc the night before she gave me head irl, the dream was really vivid...woke up, everyone was lookin at me...
<D4NG3R0U5> then the teacher went back on talkin, and everyone turned back around...that haunts me
#27201
<Frosty> Theres one thing I hate about bit torrent
<Frosty> it makes my net connection seem like its a 28.8k modem dial up one
<phx\afk> heh
<phx\afk> not as bad as freenet tho
<phx\afk> that makes you think a bunch of drunken gnomes are passing your data around byte by byte
<Frosty> drunken gnome routers ey?
<phx\afk> "Och will ye check oot the header on this?" *much laughter, much drinking of beer, packet tossed enough two foot in your direction*
#61924
<MadMax> Which is a better question to spend time and money thinking about:
<MadMax> How was the universe created?
<Catch-22> or, Are those real?
#41012
<ozzy> Mace?
<ozzy> Could you link me to a WMP10 d/l?
<Mace> Hi, I'm Google. I'm useful.
#24579
<raluka> I live in Southwest Europe
<JaniceF> New Mexico?
<raluka> Southwest Europe hun
<JaniceF> Oh you mean Brazil?
<JaniceF> I know! Lichenstein?
<raluka> Spain.
#6139
Clayton: man, i am so tired..but my bed is full of dog puke.
#41250
(+BarnacleBob): the ipod isn't all that great... i should have looked around and got a cheeper one with same sized hd and a recording feature
(+BarnacleBob): i pods are by far the dominant portable music player in san francisco.... even over regular cd players
(@Zaphod): But on the other hand, gay sex is by far the preffered sexual persuasion in San Fransisco, but that doesn't mean its best for the rest of the planet :)
Comment: #ctrlaltdel on irc.afterx.net
#303759
< ADINSX> where are you from thereyougo?
< thereyougo> finland
< thereyougo> when in 3rd grade we started english teacher asked what we can say in english
< thereyougo> it was all like "autobots, roll"
Comment: #cobol
#60520
<@Rjx> talking about buying gas in the liter is for pussies
<@Rjx> in the US they measure gas in how many middle eastern countries will need invading
<@Rjx> HEY YEAH PUT A ONE QUARTER IRAQ IN THAT THERE TANK
#6867
Brooke: If I don't get a manicure, I'm going to stick my hands in the garbage disposal.
Lynxie: YOU CANNOT WRITE WITH NO HANDS! I DON'T WANT TO WAIT 'TIL YOU LEARN TO TYPE WITH YOUR NOSE!!!!
#24128
<Shadow> "Due to the recent decrease in overall test scores among high school
<Shadow> students, I propose we change the term 'foolproof' to 'stupidproof.'"
#6354
<_Hawkeye_> I don't bareback
<_Hawkeye_> Fastest way to the grave
<Mthbeylt> I'm not sure, but I have a feeling this isn't about the relative merits of riding horses without a saddle.
#526
<matt`> <goh`> guilty you spelt speed wrong
<goh`> spelled*
<McMoo> <goh`> YOUR USUALLY SO CAREFUL
<goh`> you're*
<goh`> you guys are assholes
#45574
<alex323> so i was like "hey mom what day was i born on"
<alex323> and she was like "march 23"
<alex323> and im like "thats my birth day how weird"
<saracen> what the hell do you think a _birth_day is?
<alex323> ooooh
#50879
<@pixeldust> i dunno whats getting me higher, the weed i smoked or the Febreeze I use to mask the smell. that shit is pretty strong.
#29442
<obso> christ
<obso> you get drunk and make out with a guy
<obso> and all of a sudden all of irc is on yer ass
<obso> my girlfriend thought it was cute.