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#14485
<jodaro> hmm, my mom just invited me over for dinner
<jodaro> mm, free food
<stu> you mean your mum doesn't charge for dinner?
<jodaro> no
<stu> damn
#1484
(SiNs-) $1,599.99
(SiNs-) $1,599.70
(SiNs-) Save $0.29
(SiNs-) wow
(SiNs-) if i go to bestbuy, i can buy a computer AND a peanut
#35545
<flouch> i spilled mt.dew on my crotch
<flouch> now it looks as if i wet myself
<XX01XX> Interesting... because I piss on myself and then tell people I just spilled Mt Dew
<SiFL> which is also interesting because i piss in mt. dew containers and tell peoples its soda
#31919
<^NoS^Sikarian> you know
<^NoS^Sikarian> in working with the tech department the past week
<^NoS^Sikarian> know what ive found out?
<^NoS^Sikarian> those windows XP taskbar tray popup bubbles are like a little kid
<^NoS^Sikarian> 'HEY! LOoK AT ME! LOOOK WHAT IM DOING! =D =D =D LOoK!! YOUR NOT LOOOOKKINNGG!!!! COME ON LOOK!!"
<^NoS^Sikarian> Then you click the X and say "Ok I fucking see you"
<^NoS^Sikarian> 5 seconds... "HEY LOOK AT ME AGAIN! =D"
#37037
<sellfone> FUCK U TV
<sellfone> im sitting here
<sellfone> eating steak
<sellfone> with A1 all over it
<sellfone> and they fucking show a tampon commercial
#29167
<Digga> they're all shit in my....WHAT THE FUCK?
<Digga> it sounded like someone just tried to kick the door in
<Digga> brb
<Digga> i open the door
<Digga> someone's lying there
<Jiggaboy> wtf
<Digga> they came to deliver a pizza leaflet
<Digga> tripped up the step
<Digga> smashed into the door
<Digga> and fell over
#301149
<+endemDan> i need to find a new job, where customers are not so retarded
<@Gusterbuster> Someone call you and say 'Can you hear me now?'
<+endemDan> no i have had that happen before, but this is even worse
<+endemDan> a customer calls in support from their cell and says she cant find the function she wants to take a pic with
<+endemDan> so i get her phone model blah blah blah, then ask what exactly shes trying to do
<+endemDan> she says 'i see pictures of people where they are holding their phone and are in the picture themselves, how do i take a picture of myself and my phone if the camera does not come off the phone'
<+endemDan> she continues with 'also how are they getting a picture of themselves from the front if i can see the flash?, like the camera is facing away from them during the picture. how do i do that?'
<+endemDan> i couldnt even respond or laugh, i was just in complete awe that someone was actually serious about this question
<+endemDan> then i asked her if she has ever looked at herself in the mirror, and freaks out thinking i just called her ugly or some shit and demands to speak to my manager
<+endemDan> so i put her on hold, get him over and tell him the story and he doesnt believe me and gets on the phone and has her repeat everything she said and then asks her about the complaint against me
<+endemDan> he asks her the same exact thing (it has been about 10 minutes since the call started) and then, then she finally gets it and understands that taking a picture in a mirror is how the people do it
<+endemDan> i dont understand how people like that function in life
<@Gusterbuster> Yea. However you get to sit on your ass all day and answer a phone
Comment: endemDan works at verizon
#7050
<Necron> man, can't even start an op war in here anymore.
<Necron> :(
*** Necron was kicked by Conskill (Conskill)
<Conskill> Op war won.
#1682
<stc> all us asians look alike
<stc> so getting in with older brother id's is easy heh
#38914
<Hidatoshi> the pizza person FORGOT MY FUCKING PIZZA
<Hidatoshi> he gave me one pizza
<Hidatoshi> and I was like
<Hidatoshi> "Uh where's the other one?"
<Hidatoshi> He looked at the recent and said "Oh shit."
<Hidatoshi> "I'll be right back."
#301694
Stranger: girl looking for boy to talk dirty
Stranger: interested?
You: o ok
Stranger: you start baby
You: mud
You: dust
You: mold
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
#307117
<Q-Stone> woot now I have 2.5 GB of space on Dropbox!
* BadMojo starts downloading Q-Stone's stuff from Dropbox. Man, nothing but horse porn.
<Q-Stone> Encrypted horse porn!
<BadMojo> If it was encrypted, how would I know what it is?
<Q-Stone> By the file name: horseporn12.enc
<Switchbreak> badmojo knows an encrypted horse when he sees one
<Switchbreak> just has to glance at the data
<Q-Stone> He can tell from the bits
<BadMojo> It's like the matrix.
<Q-Stone> He doesn't even see the code anymore, just Arabian, Clydesdale, Quarter
Comment: #gwj on quakenet
#5869
<Synoptica> holy fuck
<Synoptica> i like
<Synoptica> almost swallowed an aaa battery
<Synoptica> (dont ask)
#7955
<weezyl> I figured I'd just fellate my students for the protein.
#46077
Consumed: what would be a very very uncommon way to autorun an app at startup?
Null: Get the user to do it. ;)
Comment: #C++ on Dynastynet
#20113
<scabb> I AM AN OBESE AMERICAN.
<scabb> AN AMERICAN, IN OTHER WORDS
<scabb> I'M SCARED OF CAFFEINE!
<scabb> ARGH! THE COFFEE WILL GIVE ME HEART ATTACKS!
<scabb> THE LARD THAT I EAT WON'T, BUT COFFEE WILL
<scabb> 17 BIG MACS! BUT HOLD THE COFFEE! CAFFEINE GIVES ME HEART ATTACKS!
#6949
<dh> man irc is a waste of time...i should go play quake or something...
#301361
<mike> i'm gonna start voting republican
<Censored_Vagina> no you're not
<mike> because if i can't fix things i'm sure as hell gonna accelerate the decline
<Censored_Vagina> it's one of those things like "I'm just gonna catch my own jizz in my mouth" and then you stop at the last second because you realize that's not a good idea
Comment: #raspberryheaven
#6200
<barkode:#916> playing tribes for last 5 hours
<Pesto:#916> wow, you're still at work?
<barkode:#916> yeah.
#13295
<Ntruder> someone peed in the dating pool here
#77026
<Darren> These anti-drug commericals are getting out of hand.
<Darren> It's this cartoon, and this guy is smoking a joint.
<Darren> And then this alien lands on Earth.
<Darren> And then the guys girlfriend hooks up with the alien when he denies weed.
<Kenji> i want what hes smoking
<Amt> me too
#11166
<TekMounty> I think I'll have to go to a confessions, at the adaptive technologies expo, there was a 19 inch lcd screen just sitting there, I though to myself "If I ran out with this none of these disabled people could catch me"
#132604
< doppler> shit, watching the Stevenote has depleted my battery :(
<@gregh> your wallet is next
#14582
<@dos622> apple told his parents he was gay
<@dos622> so he could go on a overnight type trip with a girl
#6486
<wmf> AaronSw: what did I tell you about Stallman?
<AaronSw> not to have sex with him?