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#55647
AlarmedBread: condoms are like computer parts
AlarmedBread: except, they have potential to be much more entertaining
Hellmark[RS]: Well, if thats true, I'd collect them out of the trash, and use them for years after they've been abandoned
#10462
<jej> if you dated me, you would've recognized me, and stopped talking to
me by now.
#115317
<Zemyla> Did I tell you about what my friend Joe did in auto shop?
<Zemyla> He was working with an arc welder, and the welder tip got stuck to the metal.
<Zemyla> He knew this was a bad thing, so he grabs a hammer and hits the metal to get the tip off.
<Zemyla> Then when he pulls back, lightning arcs from the metal to the hammer.
<Zemyla> The teacher notices this, and yells, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
<Zemyla> And Joe bellows, "I AM THOR!", brandishes the hammer, and shocks the fuck out of the guy next to him.
Comment: #cmc on Nightstar
#6056
<Guyver3> koolaid time
<Guyver3> what today
<Guyver3> strawberry kiwi
<Guyver3> strawberry kiwi lemonade
<Guyver3> mountain berry blast
<Guyver3> or blood of the preacher's daughter?
<kingmob> the blood one. definitely.
#8511
<dr_rotcod> i wonder if my life sucks cause i jerk off after i pray
#29386
<Supachikn> can anyone offer advice on how to de-scratch a cd?
<Supachikn> both small, medium, and large scratches
<JohnMK> Meguiars #7 or somesuch
<JohnMK> groups.google.com it
<JohnMK> I bought something at Software Etc. or whatever that seems to work pretty well
<wildboar> yeah I know this guy that bought the big pro scratch remover machines
<wildboar> and I smelled the stuff
<wildboar> and I was like wtf that is the meguiars #7 showcar glaze I use on my car
<Supachikn> so just this car-polish and a buffing with a soft cloth?
<Seed> a little jizz on the cloth won't hurt too
<Supachikn> :( I'm all dry at the moment
Comment: #hydrogenaudio on freenode
#2373
* JosephKer on 2.4.14
<Snarf> exciting ;>
<JosephKer> yup! I got my kernel down to like 600k though
<Snarf> nice ;>
<^xman^> kernels below 1 mb are for pussies
<^xman^> kernels over 2 mb are for men
<JosephKer> hehe
<JosephKer> It's not how BIG your kernel is, it's how you use it!
<BombScare> sure...thats why girls always laugh at you when you pull out your kernel
<JosephKer> Then I set them straight with a good fsck'ing
#301332
SoccerGirl114: Today, I was having sex with this guy at a party when out of no where he yells at the top of his lungs, "mortal kombat!".
SoccerGirl114: His friends yelled back, "finish her!"
#308441
< Botje> daemon: the sooner we can kill off ftp the better
< daemon> Botje, what do you think for its replacement? scp
< spider-mario> webdav?
< Botje> sftp
< Botje> or the clown.
< apeiron> clown?
< Botje> cloud
< Botje> i mentally replace one by the other, makes marketingspeak a lot more interesting :]
#1758
<< Now chatting in #finalfight
>>Quit! imaginari " Leaving "
>>Quit! MightyQuinn " Ping timeout "
>>Quit! Thom " Ping timeout "
[Nyphur] ARGH! I'm killing people by being here!
#56978
<Buliwif> I'M ON VACATION!
<Buliwif> WOOOOOOOOOO
<tumblemonster> cool.. Where?
<Buliwif> right... freakin.... here.... i'm gonna do nothing... sit back, relax, and retool my life
<tumblemonster> retool eh?
<Buliwif> i call it "spring cleaning for the soul"
<tumblemonster> ok. What does that involve? ingesting industrial strength cleaning solvents?
<Buliwif> ummm no.....
<Buliwif> cleaning my room, cleaning my car, cleaning everything that involves me... refreshing myself, freeing myself from the bonds of my past and moving forward with a fresh outlook and revitalised nature
<tumblemonster> so, like, visiting a hooker?
<Buliwif> indeed
#1903
<Delusion> "US attacked by four concurrent hijacking incidents. US gas stations celebrate by immediate 25 cent price increase."
#294875
<Pyro> I turn on GTA IV
<Pyro> steal a police cruiser
<Pyro> and sit around and watch for traffic violations
<Pyro> then I pull them over
<Pyro> and shoot them in the face
<Chroder> i think that's the modern version of pulling-legs-off-frogs
<Chroder> you're gonna be a serial killer
#33987
<homerj> there were a lot of black people when we saw bad boys 2
<homerj> I remember when I was like 7 my mom talked about the colored lady down the street
<homerj> I kept looking for some chick that was like all colors of the rainbow
#311564
crond: to hell with emacs.
crond: emacs is like using a blender to chop your salad. you CAN do it, but it's overkill, and you just get sludge at the end.
whizzl: more like dropping your entire kitchen on the salad bowl
#28353
<pL1> atomic clocks are for wussies... i use the sun to tell the time...
<Blaxthos> sun doesn't sync well
<Blaxthos> with the 8 minute lag and all
#15436
<Godfather> white people dont go to jail, look at OJ
<Inferno> he's black u fag
<Godfather> oh
#308834
Nevermind: About shitty code
Nevermind: There is an hierarchy - WidgetBase - GuiWidget - Rectangle
Nevermind: What do you call a programmer who adds a scroll event handler to Rectangle class, which changes value of a field added to WidgetBase, which is later used in GuiWidget as a text argument to a low leve render code
Nevermind: All this just to make a scrolling text show up over Rectabgle in a single place?
MaxEd: You don't call him anything, he should not hear you coming
#7124
<Chum> I told them I was a 16 year old female that would put out if given a beta account.
<da_slog> NOOOOOOOOOOOO
<Kash> yea, i'm going to be female to
#1663
<goltrpoat> 'britney spears' is an anagram for 'presbyterians.'
#299054
<Aforwolf> ANNA
<Aforwolf> ANNA
<Aforwolf> COME HERE
<Aforwolf> I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING FANTASTIC
<kinganna> ?
<Aforwolf> if we speak in a code
<Aforwolf> where we change every letter to the next letter of the alphabet
<Aforwolf> anna becomes
<Aforwolf> boob
<kinganna> I think we should stop being friends.
#59529
<ArchPlan> I'm expecting an onslaught of malware to my company's network this week... we're temporarily disabling the firewall.
<ArchPlan> alot of malware may already be dormant on the company's machines, but then again, some new stuff might come as well
<fr_gment> So why not install some sort of warning system, by hanging out lanterns:
<fr_gment> One if by LAN, Two if by C:\
#845
<ckx> kira looks like someone put a bag over her head and smashed her in the face with a monkey wrench
#20268
<Torn> WHAT ABOUT WE CHANGE TOPIC, BECAUSE I DON'T GET WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT
<Bloodshedder> torn's feeble mind cannot understand what we are saying
<ph`> I agree with torn
#223767
<Scrumps> Hm... how do you log a user out remotely?
<ShinCS> sniper rifle