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#28934
<fred> oh yeah and he asked me " the naval service is a fighting force. how do you feel about enemy forces dieing as a result of your actions?"
<Chris[ni]> lol
<fred> i repplied with : " i wanna kill all my life. killing is why i get up in the morning. you got anybody to kill around here?"
<Chris[ni]> did he ask "how do u feel about dieing?"
<Chris[ni]> whist reaching into his coat?
<fred> yeah. i can't remember much else.
<fred> except the police cars arriving.
#30407
<BoB_JonEz> well its true
<BoB_JonEz> i think to get a comp sci degree you have to pass the tan test
<BoB_JonEz> if you have a tan, you fail
#31883
<illkid> can someone help me? i am wanting to use a model in the game, but my model is called pipe.mdl, and the game is looking for pipe2.mdl
<illkid> how can i get it to load the pipe.mdl?
<illkid> are there any renaming applications out there for renaming files? so i can change the pipe.mdl to pipe2.mdl?
<Ez3ki41> did you try jsut renaming hte pipe model to pipe2.mdl
<Khanate> lool
<illkid> i would like to, but where can i find a program to do that?
<Khanate> windows
<illkid> can i get that on kazaa?
<Khanate> ...
<illkid> ok, i found a "windows95" i am going to install that and see if it works..
<Sh1mms> ????
<Sh1mms> wtf
#46128
<stan> i was outside yesterday...
<stan> looking at the spot on my back lawn where i fucked a mormon teenage chick...
<stan> and the grass on that spot was completely dead, like god himself struck it down.
Comment: efnet #ampedout
#7294
<parox> man near killed myself carrying a 60kg UPS today!!!
<parox> had to carry it up some steps, put the back out I think
<bytraper> 60kg's?? I know how you feel dude... I once carried that weight in each arm once while I was running
<parox> what the hell were you doing carring that sort of weight while you were running??? you in training or something?
<bytraper> no I was stealing the stuff and somebody saw me...
#4378
<MrSauce> LIZ HURLEY KNOCKED UP?
<MrSauce> NOOOOOOO
<MrSauce> fuck
<MrSauce> she was so hot
<EvilRobot> Hey, in 18 years and 9 months, you'll be able to hump her daughter.
<MrSauce> hrm
<MrSauce> I'd be 35
<MrSauce> very possible
<EvilRobot> See, always look for the silver lining!
<MrSauce> oh well. I guess it's time for a farewell fap
#93196
(+Mandrake_Barbosa) omfg.. just sneezed 8 times in a row
(@Cajun) 7 sneezes = orgasm
(+Mandrake_Barbosa) i tried it. by forcing myself to sneeze, using pepper. i really thought it would work (was in like yr9) so i did it without pants on with a few tissues next to me
#311434
<truck> DDT was stopped by police once "why are you here"
<truck> he showed his phone playing ingress
<truck> "I am a network technician, I am scanning this area for wireless problems"
<truck> "ok then"
<truck> police drive off
#48809
<Nyschashi-Seikun> wow
<Nyschashi-Seikun> this chick is REALLY fucked up
<Nyschashi-Seikun> she draws dickgirls repeatedly assdrilling men
<Nyschashi-Seikun> I don't think I like porn anymore
<Nyschashi-Seikun> and suddenly all thoughts of sex and nudity are beginning to make me sick
<Nyschashi-Seikun> I don't even want to see myself naked anymore
<Konpeito> You are weird.
<Nyschashi-Seikun> now that I think of it
<Nyschashi-Seikun> I might just be sick from drinking too much hot sauce
#52036
<AlmtyBob> I'VE HIT BOTOTM
<AlmtyBob> I went to download a scat porn off newzbin, and was afraid I might already have it 8(
<AlmtyBob> fuck...I do have it
Comment: #ramen
#18527
<Midian> ah yes
<Midian> for every poor animal i slaughter in this game
<Midian> i find gold on them
<Midian> because i know, bears love gold
<Midian> the young bear i killed must have eaten a fat sack of gold before i found him
#4054
<conio> 99% of all americans SUCK
<poon> conio: i guess that leaves Monica Lewinsky in the remaining 1% that blows?
#26262
* fungiform types like a bastard
[Painless] how does one 'type like a bastard'... does one just omit the words 'mom' and 'dad' ?
#96531
<Dolfin> Reminds me of when a guy I know started a band with some guys from college.
<Dolfin> They were all fans of We Are Scientists so they called the band We Are Terrorists as a parody.
<Dolfin> When they finally got their first gig, they all went out on stage, only to see about 10 people and 50 cops standing there, not looking at all amused or impressed.
<Dolfin> They had a shitload of explaining to do, man.
<Dolfin> The moral is, be careful what you call your band, because first impressions mean a lot.
<Dolfin> Especially if those first impressions are going to get you arrested.
#24011
< CausaSui> So I was showing a coworker bsd, and explaining flags, and speficically the schg flag
< CausaSui> And to give him an example that even root can't delete schg flagged stuff, I tried rm /kernel
< CausaSui> But it turns out that, for some reason, on fresh installs of 4.8, none of the kernels are flagged schg
#2778
<schwack> if there's one thing i hate its everything
#7549
[blergh`] so i went to this fight and a damn hockey game broke out
#28640
<StarExile> PLEASE OH GOD help me find a nick
<StarExile> like fucking hell -.
<StarExile> sry
<StarExile> heh
<JayBlalock> Tonight's random spaz attack has been brought to you by StarExile.
#16734
ForeverDamnation: Ben wants to chew on some penis.
blx001: you mean snickers
ForeverDamnation: No, I believe I mean penis.
blx001: no you mean snikers
SmiLex05: is that was the gay communty calls it now
#20023
<crakfjsdklnjkfdbnjkdfhjwerhljk> SHE SKIPPED TWO GRADES AND SHE'S WASTING IT ON ENGLISH AND PHILOSOPHY MAJORING
<zamros> HAHAHAH PHILOSOPHY MAJOR TELL HER THAT SHE CAN BE A WAITRESS WITH THAT UNDER HER BELT
<Stiltzkin> NOW, DID YOU CHOOSE THE PANCAKES WITH BACON, OR WAS IT FATE?!?!
#16121
<zamros> when i was seven i saw a car get run over by another car
<zamros> my first accident witnessing
<zamros> and/or moster truck rally
#4875
<pimp> im going to go play with my toys now
<RiP> that means hes going to play with himself right
<pimp> no, im going to go play with my X-Men action figures
#84532
<Nightripper> Ah, airport security. After 9/11, things got hectic. My way is simple, direct, and effective.
<mcfuzzhead> what's your way?
<Nightripper> "Weapons are mandatory."
<Nightripper> Don't hijack this plane, no sir. Granny's packing a machete!
<Nightripper> "Sir, you didn't set off the metal detector. I'm gonna have to ask that you take this pistol with you."
#4392
<Alien> Licking lead is like inviting a bunch of friends into your mouth but then cancer crashes the party
#243326
<Anarkii> Security staff in the airport's Qantas domestic terminal discovered a number of passengers had made it to their gate just before 6.30pm (AEST) without proper security screening
<+brad`> how can you tell someone hasnt been properly screened?
<rioter> brad` they are not walking like they just got fucked in the arse