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#36331
<jonathans> i also got stopped for practicing a movie scene in a parking lot where the passenger in my car robs a liquor store
<jonathans> we pull up to the store at 30 and he runs out and slides across the hood
<jonathans> cop didnt like that much
<jonathans> he thought we were actually robbing the store
<jonathans> after talking for ten minutes he had a part in the movie
#309823
<shachaf> *!*@* would be a good name for a ban
#35297
* Quits: eLe|A (~zerg@pD9520CC7.dip.t-dialin.net) (Quit: When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'.)
#32251
Doja: i wonder if he noticed that her pussy has been tampered w/
whack`wrkk: you didnt leave a rubber hangin out that hoe did you
whack`wrkk: queef out a balloon poodle
#706
<dkl> The Sudanese Arabs which posses some of the largest penis's in the world, practice this method from the point of puberty. Fathers would send their son off to a trainer who would perform milking (jelq) to the young man for 30 minutes every day. This milking exercise forces blood into the penis, repeatedly engorging the penis with blood. Over the course of several months, the blood spaces in the penis became larger, being able to hold more blood, which in
<dkl> Over a period of several years, some of the men's penises became larger than 18" in length and 10" in circumference.
#55369
<@shea> WTF
<@shea> i'm subbing for my 'boss' today because he's out
<@shea> and i was doing something for someone else on his computer
<@shea> and i noticed on his desktop there's a quake3 icon
< Tominator> found porn?
<@shea> but it's not called quake3
<@shea> it's called
<@shea> 'Kicking Shea's Ass'
<@shea> :[
#118435
<Lemmy> : no body like's an grammer nazi.
<Harbinger>: *Nobody
<R4dbutton>: *likes
<@Voyager> : *a
<Shakur> : *grammar
<cyclic> : *Nazi
<Lemmy> : ...
* GrammarNazi ;-p
#11598
<kero> if you jizzed and there wasn't any gravity, u think there'd be a kickback?
<kero> if i was on mars, i'd def hide behind a crater and jerk off
<kero> just to say i did
<fzt> that'd kind suck to be lost in space cause you were viciously beating off
on the moon.
#93
<Mootar> what was god thinking when he made my ass sweat?
#15850
<@Po|2N`GotSex> ok everyone this is the most funniest thing that has happended to me in years....
<@Po|2N`GotSex> my g/f mom found out we fucked
<ownsya> lol
<@Po|2N`GotSex> and we sat and talked it out
#60376
<@timmo> "Adventurer" (in video games) is a euphemism for "Violent kleptomaniac"
#33036
<@brassica> hehe my penis slowly rolling off my desk and when it falls off its going to hit my cat
<@brassica> err pen is
#87350
Dexi: I found this auction on eBay...
Dexi: "Learn how to earn over $500 a day with this system!"
Dexi: Starting bid: $557.00
Grim: ...lmao
Dexi: I think might know what the system is... ;)
#57922
<Xshare> We met at a homecoming, danced all night and hung out afterwords at a mutual friends house
<Xshare> as I was leaving, (had to go), I asked for her number and realized I didnt remember her name
<Xshare> I put it in under "Girl"
<tethra> haha
<Xshare> and then she asked me how I spelled it.
<tethra> hahahah
<Xshare> I probably woulda lost any chance right there, but
<Xshare> her friend goes "Isn't it with two Ls"?
<Xshare> and she goes, no, "it's camile with one l"
<Xshare> and I got my ass saved
<Xshare> we've been going out for 6 months
Comment: #maddox
#306924
<hmcd> dude like
<hmcd> the hilight of my day
<hmcd> was spinning my rainbow-ass umbrella
<hmcd> and shouting HEY LOOK I'M A MAC LOADING LOADING LOADING
<@recon> Have you ever considered suicide?
#11593
<Fireklar> Anyone know what could cause a monitor to dim like that besides impending death?
<mig|flurry> fireklar: impending death.
<slurpee> impending death of your eyesight
<mig|flurry> fireklar: capacitors pretending to be resistors.
<Fireklar> DAMN YOU CAPACITORS
<Fireklar> I hate those bastards
#101646
<@Foxhill> Skittles_Goddess - for something that is basically just an overly complex life support system for a vagina i haven't entered yet, you're pretty damn sexy
#46200
<kryptech> I saw this hot girl who wore this sweater that said in big white letters "RFC"
<kryptech> too bad, I couldnt concentrate on her hotness
<kryptech> all I could think about was protocol standardizations
#1224
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> from age 0-4 was like, playskool toys
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> 5-13 was nintendo and sega
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> 14-present IRC
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> that was my life in a nutshell
<LkAway1> * blazemore is now known as SonGohanX
#6485
<blazemore> DJing with vinyl is like people still making soap from their own pig fat
#251320
Zac2: "Scientists Find Gene That Makes You Good at Halo Also Makes You a Premature Ejaculator"
Jed_Reality: New Macbooks announced.
#6149
<{x3n0}> my amplifier just went *WHUMP*
<{x3n0}> and my speakers went *saUTENIaetiuBiudsiuZDXIUBGiuZZXT*
#60116
<beaux> Sometimes I think having a girlfriend is like a contract signed in blood or something.
<SaxxonPike> terms are subject to change without notice
Comment: #misfix
#162354
<skumby> i think only japanese chicks can get away with blue hair, a miniskirt, and a severed tentacle hanging from their twat
#310604
<@mentot> Marijuana, 851 1st Avenue #91, Seattle, WA 98104, USA 54.6 F (12.6 C) 49% humidity, wind is calm, overcast
<Jigsy> >Wind is calm
<Jigsy> I bet.