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#16730
*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah. Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or somthin'
#160337
<@Ushanka> So, guys. I was reading a book about steganography, but I've lost my place.
<@Ushanka> This is a really good story about antigravity. I can't put it down!
<Mizzle> I fucking love this book about bibliophilia.
<@Ushanka> I started reading the Wikipedia article on gauntlets but stopped when it got too heavy-handed for my tastes.
<@Ushanka> I was reading the racy memoirs of a Wellington debutante but it made me feel a little sheepish.
<@Jello> I got all wrapped up in a book about bondage.
<Mizzle> I wasn't very far into my text on psychological trauma when I had to stop. It hurt too much.
<@Ushanka> The whole nation is abuzz for the new apiculture guide!
Comment: #thedryeraseboard on espernet
#16990
TallyHoTheZebra: i love fire
TallyHoTheZebra: if i could have sex with it, i would
#32531
<DimaV> http://bash.cx/?search=Gothic_CatGirl&order=quote_id&sort=asc&limit=25&approved=0
<Gothic_CatGirl> Holy crap
<Gothic_CatGirl> That's a lot
<DimaV> ur popular
<DimaV> ur like a porn star, only we get to talk to u
#33647
<anity> bbyyyeeee
<ZestyO> ok, have fun
<anity> in the bath?
<anity> hehe i'll try
<ZestyO> plenty of fun to be had in a bath
<anity> *gets out rubber duck*
<ZestyO> jesus christ I so mis read that...
<anity> hehhe i was thinking that...i super carefull typied duck
<ZestyO> hehe
<ZestyO> the u and i keys are right next to eachother
<anity> hehhehe yeh
<anity> or maybe the 'duck* was a typo
<anity> ull never know
<anity> hehehhehehe
<ZestyO> lol
<anity> heheh i'll soon see when i get in the bath
#29704
« DR_Satan0 » but jesus i couldnt look at my mom while she is riding me no matter how shitfaced i was..
Comment: From #dcemu on cheatlist
#15572
<@:s4t4n> #christian can't join channel (channel is full)
<@:s4t4n> guess no one else is gettin into heaven!
#3483
<Darksyde> dood you make texas look like a big dildo
<blazemore> i'd rather be a big dildo than a small dildo
<blazemore> especially the kind the secretes fake jizz that tastes like oranges
<Geek-> lol
<Geek-> how would you know about that shit?
* blazemore is away
#1906
(|Chris) CNN (Las Vegas, NV) New York has NOT been bombed. David Copperfield has come forward and stated that, "It was all just mirrors. I'm sorry that it got out of hand. This was just a publicity stunt that went horribly wrong."
#17162
<\\`es> fuck i just downloaded 5 crazytown mp3's. What the fuck is happening with me
#8775
<GC> i bought new disposable razors
<GC> they have two blades each
<GC> i am astounded
<xen`> my mach 3 has 3 blades
<GC> and it costs more
<xen`> meh, it works good
<xen`> i can shave my asshair and my face and not have to go through 5 razors
#25129
<ignatz> If you piss off enough people, it's hard to tell the difference between a distributed denial of service attack and public opinion.
#52575
<boof> fucking fat fuck customers at mcdonalds
<boof> You know how bartenders can refuse to sell alcohol to someone if they are clearly intoxicated to the max?
<boof> Well, I'd like the same power, however in regards to obseity. Too fat? Have trouble walking? Sweating in the airconditioning? Short breath from walking from the door to the counter? No sale, unless you buy something from the Salads plus menu and a bottle of water.
<fury> lol
#301020
<jonukas> hello, hope someone can help me. How with c#, i can make 3.576 to 3.58 ?
<ttvd> if(value == 3.576) value = 3.58;
<ttvd> np!
#295415
<~Vespa> I had a lesbian (a very intoxicated one) come onto me once
<~toto> They wanted a drink dear
<~Vespa> no
<~Vespa> they bought me the drink
<~toto> They'd spiked it and wanted your wallet then.
<~Vespa> no
<~Vespa> they thought I was female
Comment: #dirt
#82992
<Golbez> eastern time is the time in the two most important cities in the world
<Golbez> midtown manhattan and downtown manhattan
#61604
<@Rjx> there's a good rule for dealing with psychiatric doctors
<@Rjx> trust them about as far as their expensive sports cars would go on a gallon of gas
Comment: #geekissues
#6354
<_Hawkeye_> I don't bareback
<_Hawkeye_> Fastest way to the grave
<Mthbeylt> I'm not sure, but I have a feeling this isn't about the relative merits of riding horses without a saddle.
#17217
<PuyoDead> gahaha, I'm watching some porn live cam, and the girl is just sitting there eating doughnuts
#53901
<galisus> I think I realized I'd never touch Linux again when I was like.. "Holy shit I never have to deal with X11 EVER again.."
<galisus> It was like my first blowjob all over again.
<galisus> Good times.
#32285
<+snow_veil> apparently nasa found hematite on mars
<+error> is that smokable?
#311142
<l0de> oh shit that "walked over my grave" feeling when someone's IRC nickname is your root password
#47129
<GenericLoser> We had to make up traffic signs in driver ed.
<GenericLoser> Some guy made a house shaped sign that said "Yo Momma's House Ahead".
#27372
(parazite) Legolas did you take your name from lord of the rings?
(@ Legolas) no, I got it from this magazine
(@ Legolas) it was advertising salogel, its a type of lubricant
(@ Legolas) I just did the name backwards and I liked it.......
#14304
ElectromagneticPhantom> there's like this monster, stooping over a dead body, it looks up at the camera, and as it moves, the heavy skin shifts and folds over itself in places and IT LOOKS FRELLING *REAL*
Lyme> Okay, PHant, I read that sentence, and thought you were talking about dick.
ElectromagneticPhantom> yeah
Lyme> I reread it like, 3 times, and I still think you're talking about dick.
Lyme> Are you talking about dick?
ElectromagneticPhantom> but this monster has no eyes, I think. and four legs
ElectromagneticPhantom> and claws and stuf
Lyme> Four-legged dickmonster
ElectromagneticPhantom> and nasty teeth
ElectromagneticPhantom> and it eats people
CommandantCleavage> four-legged dick monster? You mean men?
Lyme> four-legged clawed cannibalistic dickmonster
ElectromagneticPhantom> it is NOT a dickmonster!
Lyme> It only eats other dick.
ElectromagneticPhantom> STOP IIIIIIIT