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#150311
l70uke: network connections says it cant find an IP address
dbbolton: open a web browser and type 192.168.1.1 in the address bar
dbbolton: what happens
l70uke: "please enter disk into drive a"
dbbolton: what the FUCK
#295612
<%bassist> 2 days ago i answered a telemarketer pretending i was a telemarketer selling them stuff
#3946
<@EvilSxxd> it's a sad sad day when a man lets a woman move into his balls
<@Vashie> my nutsack is as safe as fort nox
<@EvilSxxd> checked and handled by 1000s of sweaty soldiers a day?
#56571
<AlexFili> i am a n00b, what do u expect?
[...]
<Bjarni> AlexFili: you need to learn stuff to reach the n00b level
#309095
<nicks> you are going to invent a new microblogging platform
<nicks> where you can only send 20 characters per message
<Haz> twitter lets you get too complete of thoughts through you've got to really condense it to get the core of the message
<||bass> 20 bytes
<||bass> and it's all 32bit unicode
<||bass> and null terminated
<||bass> which gives us 4 characters
<||bass> so pretty much limits you to short sentences in chinese
<nicks> I can communicate a lot with four characters
<nicks> damn
<nicks> crap
<nicks> fuck
<nicks> shit
<nicks> piss
<||bass> dude
<||bass> stop
#31152
<[moose]KT> Quoting bash.org is like masturbating, people know you do it
#5362
<RvLeshrac> I wonder about stores that get shot up in movies.
<RvLeshrac> What do they say when it's all over with?
<RvLeshrac> "Hello, Mutual Insurance? Yes, I'd like to know if my policy covers gangland shootouts."
#111830
<tuxick> what annoys me a lot is idiot media crying "oil price up!! 80 dollars now!" instead of "dollar down! 1/80th barrel now!"
#56396
<predation> so I'm at work and this kid rings the bell on the counter RIGHT behind me
<predation> the kid goes "SORRY" when I turn around
<predation> kid's mom goes "sorry isn't an excuse when you do something stupid on purpose"
<predation> i'm putting it on a t-shirt
#18377
<jitspoe> birds don't have a penis
<Zim|DP> jit: but they have a pecker =)
#11215
<@Drezdar> !google teen pregnancy crisis hotline
<@Drezdar> Heh, don't ask.
#12318
* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat
#27941
<eg0mech> Someday you'll find that special girl, give her a couple dollars, and experience that special thing.
#4097
<[ric]> pfft... oh, well when I am dead my gravestone will simply read.. http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?search=%5Bric%5D
#11700
<astroboy> I asked a japanese exchange student what kind of american TV he likes in japan.
<astroboy> he said full house.
<astroboy> I fear japan.
#58745
<Omi> I owned someone at work today
<Xa> How'd you manage that?
<Omi> He was pratting about chasing after the girls
<Omi> 'Cause he's a fucktard like that
<Omi> But he took his shoes off so he wouldnt make loud noises
<Omi> Which would attract the boss's attention
<Omi> So I nailed his shoes to the floor
<Xa> Rofl
<Omi> Someone said the boss was coming
<Omi> So he sprinted back to his shoes
<Omi> Jumped in them
<Omi> And then fell on his face when he tried to walk forward
#56208
Teloch: i was helping my tech teacher out a few days in july or so
Teloch: and
Teloch: i got some calls
Teloch: from potential customers
Teloch: and one of them was this little boy who couldn't have been more than six or seven
Teloch: and he was almost in TEARS
Teloch: "everything i type is in caps what do i do my moms goinng to kill me"
#2368
<BLOODHat> Nakago: I got Civ3 to work
<Nakago> good.. I'm about to burn mine
<Nakago> its so fun when every fucking race in the game declares war against you at the same time
<Dr_Tofu> nakago: now you see what afghanistan feels like :P
#567
[02:46am] [+oc] earlier when my video card wasnt working i started crying seriously
#1088
<homerj> damn
<homerj> it's hotter then the devil's dick in a pair of heated speedos here
#19002
<p0tat03> How to Score, Chapter 4: Make Sure You Have a Pimpin Suit
<Hyde> How to score, Chapter 5: alcohol is your friend
#13267
<Mithrandir> http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?12572
- did you know that it is anatomically impossible to lick your elbow...and 75% of the people who hear that actually try to lick their elbow?
<SirPrux> already read that
<SirPrux> it's not funny
<Mithrandir> did you try?
<SirPrux> Yeah
#10880
<jorm> if you have to ally yourself with a subculture that likes bad music and shitty drugs, you might as well go with the one where you're more likely to get laid.
#52718
<HypnoGenX> I know about as much about mobile phones as I do about girls.
<HypnoGenX> They're both noisy and frightening, yet they make me want to touch them.
#8734
Walter39: I woke up in a ditch last night
Walter39: Not sure why
Walter39: Family left me, i cant afford pants
Walter39: But on a plus note, I finally won master status at Everquest