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#30106
<@crrj-lunchbreak> ROFLMAO, on the phone with my brother, internet is out at his work, his boss just said, and I heard it, "No internet? No e-mail too?"
<@crrj-lunchbreak> lol, the guy doesn't grok, no internet, no e-mail
* @DM laughs at crrj's brother's boss
<@crrj-lunchbreak> That's okay, we laugh at him too
<@crrj-lunchbreak> I used to work for him
<@crrj-lunchbreak> I watched him fry a HD by putting it circuit board down, power on, onto the chasis of the computer
Comment: And the guy supposedly does computer consulting...
#295912
<Voldemort> My father bought my mother and I GSM cell phones to use while we're here.
<Voldemort> We had to get both repaired. One had a bad ribbon cable, and the screen as a result didn't work.
<Voldemort> The other is only a dual band and doesn't support the frequencies here in the Philippines. Woulda been cheaper to just buy new ones here.
<Voldemort> Anyways, the one with the bad ribbon cable works now, and I was going through it. Apparently, the person on ebay who sold it never cleared the phone. Has pics in it, one of which is a pussy with a tattoo around it making the slit look like the body of a butterfly.
<Voldemort> I didn't think anything of it until I went through the games. There's something in there called "Purring Kitten". It makes the phone vibrate continuously. Needless to say, I'm gonna sterilize that phone now...
#17323
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> oh geez, oh geez... my roomate was doing a mission in GTA3 (the one where you pick up the limo and all the mafia guys), well anyways, all the fish trucks are hitting him and blocking him in. finally he gets by but not before he catches fire and blows up.. he then punches his monitor, that's when i leave. i hear a keyboard getting slapped something hitting a wall and stuff falling off his desk.. all to the words of "FUCK YOU, FUCK THIS, GOD DAMNIT! FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT!!!" oh jesus, he was sincere too.. it's like that vid where the guy threw his monitor down the stair well
#16409
<Never> Okay, I'm not really going to be a novelist, it just sounds a lot better than "autistic retard constantly lost in own fantasy world"
#29532
[DJAngelicon] : I will have a new site soon
[MrHat] : oh
[DJAngelicon] : online
[@US^producing] : Smart.
#8023
<kt> i need a job, badly.
<kt> maybe i should hang out with some black people
<kt> i mean go to the unemployment office.
#3474
<@Catgirl> The three stages of Catgirl hating: #1) "FUCK YOU I'M RIGHT YOU'RE WRONG" #2) "FUCK YOU I BET YOU'RE NOT A GIRL" #3) "FUCK YOU" *ban* PM: "I'd like to fuck you."
#3221
<SementE> anyone here have a commercial pilot license?
<blazemore> semente: do you have any idea how many fbi "carnivore" systems you just set off
<SementE> blazemore: oh.. I forgot to add airline
#1419
<|Chris> you couldn't get a man if you opened your ass like the goatse.cx guy and walked around a prison yard
#20808
<[FMa]Brick> just teh first time?
<[NTAC]Crazzeh_Timmeh> just for now
<[FMa]Brick> let my b/f pull out first
#19929
<@Khrath> baz is just jealous that i married a chic thats only 4'11", and it makes my 4" dick look like its 11"
#3021
<ric> METHOD=DRINK ACTION=CHATUPUGLYWOMEN TARGET=MYBED
#4847
<Gersh> wow
<Gersh> I rule
<Gersh> I made one of my ex's cry over aim
<Gersh> dammit I wish she had a webcam
#44914
<SeaQaeS> hey!
<SeaQaeS> you guys wanne hear something cool?
<SeaQaeS> I've got a telepatic connection with my PC...
<SeaQaeS> My computer is in my room
<SeaQaeS> when I go downstairs to lay on the coutch and watch some tele.. I often
<SeaQaeS> get the feeling I have to go upstairs again (after 15 in or 2 hours or something)
<SeaQaeS> And when I go look at my screen, someone is talking to me on MSN
<SeaQaeS> so my computer is telling me telepaticly that someone is talking to me
<SeaQaeS> nice of him isnt?
<SeaQaeS> its true
<SeaQaeS> hmm.. now its telling me that noone gives a shit
#34044
<Jyrka> The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
#302185
<Stewart> One of my mates is trying to quit nicotine lozenges... by smoking
#17771
<suffocate> i wanna know if thewre are any Visual Basic packets
<suffocate> under linux
<suffocate> ???
#25269
<Notoes> YES
<Notoes> FINALLY
<TlMMAH> u kissed a girl?
<Notoes> no
<Notoes> EXTERNAL 60GIG HD
#18316
<count^> real life is just something the government invented to steal my money
#304344
<Foone> my oatmeal is impressive
<Foone> it has separate instructions for making oatmeal with 1 packet or with 2 packets
<Foone> if you want to make it with 1 packet, you pour into a bowl and add 1/2 cup of hot water and stir
<mathrick> hahah, what?
<Foone> if you want to make it with 2 packets, you pour into a bowl and add 1 cup of hot water and stir
<Foone> I THINK I COULD HAVE FIGURED OUT THE SECOND ONE ON MY OWN
<mathrick> no twist ending?
<Foone> NOPE
<Foone> they don't provide instructions for making it with 3 packets, though
<Foone> but they provide a number to call with questions
<mathrick> DO IT
#1552
<ckx> when i worked at the sub shop
<ckx> whenever a fat person would get a sub and a regular pepsi
<ckx> i'd be like "umm wouldn't you rather have a diet pepsi?"
<ckx> and they'd get all offended
<skmt> haha
<ckx> but they'd still get the diet pepsi instead
#61663
<pm-> i am going into the bathroom now to count my money
<pm-> you guys ever do that?
<rigel> if by "count my money" you mean "masturbate" then yes
Comment: #philosophy
#16512
<KagoniKnight>: You know how sometimes a dog humps your leg?
<Pong-Chan>: .....
<KagoniKnight>: Well, sometimes, why not hump back and show who's boss!!
#1293
<l0g1c> Does giving handjobs make you go blind??
<ApOkAliPs> HAHA
<ApOkAliPs> well...
<ApOkAliPs> depends where you aim it...
#10724
TX Luder : dude
TX Luder : i just had a genius idea
TX Luder : m&ms frozen in ice cubes
TX Luder : just think of it man
TX Luder : your sucking on ice
TX Luder : then WHAM
TX Luder : m&m