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#2339
<[noam]> you know, i just came to a conclusion
<ryo-ohki> Really? I just came to some porno.
#22200
<Big_Mike> I hate Celine Dion. So much I refuse to spell her name correctly.
<TheMan649> you did spell her name correctly.
<Big_Mike> Did i?
<TheMan649> Yes.
<Big_Mike> Shit.
#8481
<Kaff> Pumpkin: The art of eating a girl out while she's on the shitter.
<Kaff> how is that a pumpkin
<mmm> gross
<Kaff> how is that normal.
<Kaff> who does that
<Kaff> I WANT NAMES
<Kaff> (and numbers)
#302377
<Umm> Sorry, had to eject a stoner from the house
<Umm> Fuckhead managed to bust a door, though
<Navier> ...?
<Umm> Claimed to be "fixing" a door that was broken into being closed
<Umm> He managed to break it into being open
<Einar> why was there a stoner IN your house?
<Umm> I don't know
<Einar> You should call the police
<Einar> Real life is not video games. Having strange people wander in, dig through your stuff, and attempting to solve door-opening puzzles does not indicate they're saving the world.
Comment: nightstar.net
#37255
<gullberg> derb^ircdruk? drunk? :D
<derb^ircdruk> indeed :D
<gullberg> nice :D
<derb^ircdruk> have to drive in about 3½ hours
<derb^ircdruk> you know, car and shit
<derb^ircdruk> I'm going to crash so much
<gullberg> Then dont drive ;)
<gullberg> sleep instead :D
<derb^ircdruk> no
<gullberg> why not?
<derb^ircdruk> need my driver's license
#7994
< BigBadGangsta> I swear, I need to write a book called "Stupid shit for stupid fucks"
<@mewse> by a retard, for retards
#9227
<DJ> apparently, a friend of mine has split with his g/f "for a couple of mouths"
<DJ> im assuming thats a typo
#306403
<+CoJaBo> me is bored
<+CoJaBo> Slash key: Miss it, and sound like caveman.
#31566
Wintyr: I totally emasculated my father.
Wintyr: I took my little brother and put him in my old ballet recital dress, put lipstick and a bow on him, and then paraded him around the house in it...
Wintyr: In front of the dinner guests...who started, like, whistling at him and shit...
Wintyr: All the while he's like, "Look look! Cole pretty! Cole pretty!" and all happy about the dress.
Krylo: Hahahahahah
Wintyr: My dad is just standing there with this horribly lost look on his face, saying, "I...I do have a boy...right...?"
Wintyr: It kicked so much ass.
#875
<Dr_DOS> a typhoon smashed into hong kong
<Dr_DOS> wiping out 1.5% of their pirated goods
<Dr_DOS> a total profit of $300,000 for US companies alone
#305906
< tobyx> i want to fly to switzerland and make free love to the founder of rapidshare
< mc44> you'll catch something horrible :(
< mc44> but only after you wait 60 seconds
#19972
HolyViper7: do i go outside and run, despite the fact it is 100 degrees fahrenheit and sweat my fucking balls off.....
HolyViper7: or do i sit inside and look at porn?
HolyViper7: toughie...
Lotach: tough decision
Lotach: either way you get sweaty
#10899
<StrScream> there is definitely not NEARLY enough dick being licked.
#296104
Forggy: my kitten is almost cat sized now
CorbinFox: uh oh, better put it in the freezer then. the cold makes things contract
CorbinFox: that way you can keep it as a kitten forever!
Forggy: you can't play with my kitten anymore ok?
CorbinFox aw :(
#114641
<AuntieEm> Bah, lots of men with ornamental balls :)
<^Da5id^> AuntieEm: yeah, they're called 'married'
#14221
<Sierro> I took her out for lunch...
<Sierro> to McDonalds
<Sierro> I feel like a 15 year old
<phantom> hehe, where ya gonna get one at 4am?
#39677
* Aero says your mom is like a shotgun Monte_Kano; one cock and she's ready to blow.
<Monte_Kano> i wish my mom was a shotgun
<ModdedCyborg> OH DEAR GOD
#294687
FurtherThan: sis,
FurtherThan: rickrolling is dead.
FurtherThan: i'm sorry, the macy's parade killed the shit out of it
s37: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FurtherThan: a good meme's time is just it's time
FurtherThan: and it was rickrolling's time
FurtherThan: i know, it's hard
FurtherThan: but you just got to let it go
FurtherThan: until 4chan comes up with something else equally ridiculous
s37: no!
s37: rick aistley, I promise you,
s37: I'm never gonna give you up
FurtherThan: i'm never gonna let you down
s37: never gonna run around
s37: or desert you
FurtherThan: *sniff*
#62999
<pr3d4t0r> loke__: I long for the days when Mexico had electoral fraud, Russia lacked freedom, and the US was a beacon of hope instead of the other way around.
#14006
<FPT-[away]> crotch fires and you: the untold story.
#4243
<Kir> if i had a better body, and clearer skin, i'd be a snobby bitch
#34236
<unchellmatt> weewoo: I had a spammer pissed at me for reporting her "Free Psychic Readings" mailings and getting her shut down. She flames me with "If you didn't want the mail, why didn't you just reply and ask to be removed?!?!"
<unchellmatt> I replied "You're the fucking psychic.... YOu figure it out"
#247571
<Jeanette> FUCK THE LETTER O.
<Jeanette> I HATE IT FOREVER.
<Jeanette> ..
<Jeanette> FAREVER
#152895
<hekman> i took my son to the zoo on saturday and i had the worst gas...we were looking at the rhinos and he says, "dad, the rhinos are stinky, let's go"
<hekman> and then later he was like, "dad, the zoo is very stinky"
#294707
<%Zac378> yo, you guys still playing xbox?
<@tet> I got off but I'll go back on if you want to play
<@tet> wait you have halo 3 right?
<%Zac378> nope, I got xbox pajama pants...not an xbox 360 for xmas -.-
<@tet> that's like giving an Ethiopian a picture of food
<%Zac378> lmao